WELCOME TO THE AFTER PARTY!!! The conversation after the show!
Have you ever found a crossroads where a single decision could reroute your future? Our latest episode is a testament to that pivotal moment, packed with raw stories of transformation and insight. We navigate through the highs and lows of personal growth, intertwining lessons of self-love with the undeniable impact of choice and resilience. From the wake-up call of getting expelled from a school district to finding solace in an African-centered education, I share how these experiences carved out a path to a deeper understanding of identity and purpose.
Let's talk about the lifelines we cling to in our darkest moments and the strength we find when prioritizing our well-being. Self-care isn't just a buzzword—it's the foundation from which we can build the courage to support and uplift those around us. I recount a personal moment of clarity mid-flight with my infant daughter, which hammered home the critical need to secure our own 'oxygen masks' before we can save others. With each story of mentoring juvenile probationers and empowering them through mentorship, we celebrate the ripple effect of investing in ourselves and the lasting change it can ignite within our communities.
Finally, we reflect on the soul's journey through the arts, drawing parallels between a vocalist's struggle with acoustics and the universal quest for environments that let us shine. In sharing the challenges of navigating through spaces that don't align with our spirit, we uncover the courage to step away and the self-awareness required to preserve our essence. Each voice in this episode, each shared experience, is a beacon guiding us toward the realization that when we embrace our worth, we light the way for others to do the same. Join us as we celebrate growth, self-affirmation, and the indomitable human spirit in a narrative filled with heart and hope.
CONNECT AND FOLLOW Samuel Brown of Faith and Effort
WEBSITE:
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INSTAGRAM and TIKTOK:
@faithandeffort
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Call for more information on domestic abuse or to get help for yourself/someone you love.
Bethany House
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay.
So wait, even in that momentyou said I'm chasing after
myself, I'm loving myself, I'mhappy with myself, I am
confident in who I am.
That in itself preaches,because you actually do have to
(00:23):
run from, as you were saying,the person that people were
telling you you were, because,as a child, you don't know
better.
That's why the Bible says ifyou as a child, you spoke as a
child and you did things as achild.
So there should be always thatlevel of understanding of if a
(00:47):
child is misbehaving, ok, thisis a child.
So now you need to give thechild the opportunity to give
(01:07):
you the tools and the tactics tobe that better you and be that
amazing you, to see yourselfactually blessed and loved and
happy and confident.
I just ah, that was verydisheartening.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
And the one thing that just hit me, because again
it's all about like you have tolook at life, but you said
perspective, right, and thedifferent lens, and looking back
on those moments as much aslike it shouldn't have happened
(01:47):
If it didn't imagine, if theydidn't say anything and they
just, like you know, kind ofpush me to the side and like
he's just gonna be whatever he'sgonna be.
I wouldn't have understood whatit felt like to actually get
like good advice from adults toactually listen to the right
people, because I had to learnwhat the wrong, how to listen to
the wrong people before I couldunderstand that what they're
saying is wrong.
And now that I'm older, I lookback at those moments and it's
(02:11):
like yo, I'm glad I got kickedout of my school district.
I'm glad I got sent to thisalternative school that was
African-centered and I learnedabout who I was.
I wasn't going to learn that atthe public school.
If they would have just keptpushing me along, pushing me
along, who knows where I wouldhave been, if they just said we
just don't want to ignore him,ignore his behavior, keep
(02:33):
pushing him along.
We're not going to expel him,we're not going to kick him out
of the school district, imagine,because I was on a path of
self-destruction.
But again, it's like I neededto be kicked off that path and
they honestly, in a sense,kicked me off that path, even if
they didn't know that they did.
(02:54):
And it just goes to show theimportance of just knowing and
loving yourself but also knowingwhat you're not.
And I think a lot of peoplethey might say I know myself,
but do you know what you're not?
Do you truly know what you'renot?
Because you everything rightnow, you this, you that, you,
this person, you that person butwhat aren't you?
(03:17):
And I know now I'm a personthat is confident.
I'm not a person that doesn'thave confidence in myself.
I'm not a person that thatdoesn't want to, that doesn't
put myself first Right.
Um, and a lot of people you knowthey talk about selfishness, um
around it, because once you getto a certain point where you
(03:38):
can help people, selfishness,you know family says it when you
, when you feel like you are thechosen one.
And for me I feel like you knowGod has chosen me to break
certain generational curses, togo off and do certain things, to
change the trajectory of myfamily, because my family is on
(03:59):
a path of self-destruction and Iwas on that path too, but I was
blessed enough to have so muchhate that I was like man.
I'm tired of this.
And again, my family alwaystalks about it.
You know you don't come aroundenough and it's not because I
don't like it.
I mean some of them I don'tlike it.
It's okay, I don't likeeverybody, but if I love you, I
(04:20):
love you and I love you.
And for me, I always tell themit's because I'm on a mission
and sometimes I need to belocked in and I can't be around
distraction or put myself in anenvironment where something can
go wrong.
And I always tell people thatyou've got to be selfish,
because if you are selfish, it'sa reflection of how selfless
(04:44):
you are.
Because if you are selfish,it's a reflection of how
selfless you are, because themore that you can pour into you,
the more that you can give tosomeone else.
And I just remember, you know,being on a plane and hearing
someone say, when a mask droppeddown, put the mask over your
face, first as an adult and thenyour child.
I'm like y'all are tripping.
There is a six year old kid,eight-old kid, that is sitting
(05:09):
right next, no mask on.
But then I realized and it'ssomething that came to my mind
throughout this conversation,which I appreciate you bringing
it out is that oxygen in itssimplest form is life, and we
can't pour into other people'slife.
We can't give someone you knowthe ability to truly live if
(05:34):
we're passed out.
And that's that same thing Ifyou put the mask over the kid
and you pass out halfway through, they're not going to know how
to do it.
The same way, the people thatneed you in your life.
You got to be selfish enough toput that mask on and give
yourself life.
Give yourself oxygen first,because once you have oxygen,
(05:55):
then you can help someone elseget oxygen, because even if
they're struggling, they're on abrink of passing out.
That oxygen mask brings themback to life.
When on the brink ofself-destruction, you have the
bandwidth now to pull them upwithout them pulling you down.
And that's like that's justlike really what it is and
(06:19):
that's what you brought out.
You had me really understandlike being confident in yourself
and I'm ripping off theselabels.
It's like giving yourselfoxygen.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
My goodness, it's like giving yourself oxygen.
You said oxygen in its simplestform is life and he breathed
the breath of life into Adam.
Oxygen in its simplest form islife.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
My God.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I am Wow, like you had me going.
I kept jumping because it wasjust for me doing the interview.
When think, when I startyourself, it was like a mirror
that you were holding up and Iactually could see myself in
(07:34):
different things.
Even in this after party, I amseeing different things that I
hear you talking about.
I was that 20-year-old motherwith my six-month,
four-month-old baby girl andthat stewardess on that airplane
(07:54):
as I flew from DC to New York,a 45-minute flight.
When she gave that speech abouttaking that oxygen mask and
giving it to yourself and thengiving it to your baby that's
months old, she acted as thoughit was a full flight.
It's going to New York, from DCto New York.
(08:17):
It's a full flight.
There was no one else on thatplane but me, her and my baby
shereen.
There was no one else.
She talked directly to thatbaby I know I look like a baby
holding a baby to make sure Iunderstood.
You have to take.
(08:37):
You gotta save you first andthen give to her, because you'll
be strong enough, just as yousaid, to help.
The give back to me is real.
That's why I, every episode,have taken up the charge of
telling people about BethanyHouse and reminding people that
if they're in trouble or theyknow someone in trouble
(08:59):
suffering at the hand ofdomestic violence.
That's why I encourage them tolock that number in, because if
you happen upon somebody, justgive them the information, just
tell them listen, reach out,make that call.
It's very important that giveback.
So I feel as though you're veryI wholeheartedly agree.
(09:20):
Save yourself so that you'restrong enough to help someone
else I, I.
What is your victory story inyour give back help?
What is that victory story?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
so one of my mentees I got.
I got a good amount of menteesbecause I always tell young
people once you with're with me,you're with me for life, you
can't get rid of me.
I'm like a bad edge that youcan't scratch.
I'm here, I'm loud, I'mrambunctious, I'm your biggest
(09:54):
cheerleader, I'm your coach,whatever you need me to be in
that moment, I'm there and forme.
I used to teach job skills andlife skills to juvenile
probation kids and my speechlike I've worked with foster
care kids, juvenile probationkids and my speech every time I
come in there.
(10:15):
And one I hated that we had ourgroups in the courtroom because
I felt like that was just likebad, like a bad environment,
like why would you have us in acourtroom, in a hearing room at
that.
So I come in, sit thereEveryone's kind of doing what
they doing.
I'm like 25 at the time 24.
(10:36):
And I just sit there and I givethe same speech.
I tell them listen y'all, I'mnot a probation officer, I'm not
an officer of the court.
I do not work in the courthouse.
I honestly hate the courthouse.
I hate everything about it.
I've been here too many timeswith family members.
I hate it and saying that Ihave a job to do.
(10:59):
That's to give y'all thisinformation.
You have a job to do.
It's to give y'all thisinformation.
You have a job to do.
It's to be here so that by theend of this you can get off
probation.
And I would tell them I'm nothere to judge y'all.
I don't care what y'all did.
All I know is the onlydifference between me and you
and me and that judge thatjudges you and me, and the
(11:22):
lawyer that didn't talk crazyabout you and drug you through
the mud, is y'all either gotcaught or snitched on and we
just I, I done done things thatshould have landed me behind
bars didn't get caught, orsomeone didn't.
So I told him let's, let's getthat clear.
And then the second thing is aslong as you don't do nothing
(11:43):
too crazy I'm not talking toyour POs, I don't, because I'm
not in the business of keepingyour own probation, because it's
a trap.
I hit him with that when I saylike they went, like they stood
up, yeah.
And then one student inparticular, josh.
He was on probation.
(12:05):
We had an eight-week programand within those eight weeks the
real magic happened when I gotto drop all these kids off.
Mind you, I'm going all over.
We leave around six.
I don't get home until like 10.
I'm going drop-offs all overbut we in the van plug in in
(12:25):
music, put me on the music, theyput me on the artist that I
still listen to today.
But I just remember josh isalways getting the uh passenger
seat.
We chop it up and eventuallyhe'll be like yo, can I be the
last person you drop off?
And I'm like all right, cool,like you live close to me, like
that's that works out and weshould just have conversations,
just talking.
(12:46):
I would talk more about mybusiness.
This is when Faith and Effortfirst started.
Different things like that.
I lie to you.
Not Eight weeks of that program, graduation hit.
They all graduated.
I had a 100% graduation rate onaverage.
I got about over time.
(13:07):
Over the course of three, theyall graduated.
I had a 100 percent graduationrate on average and I got.
I got about over time.
Over the course of like threeyears I probably got close to
maybe 100 kids off probation.
But him in particular.
He went from being on probationto graduating high school and
(13:27):
I'm sorry he went from being onprobation and graduating high
school and hold on, sorry.
Oh, he went from being onprobation and graduating high
school.
He invited me to his prom manyou only know this kid eight
weeks and we got a session oncea week like so man, I've been
with him eight times.
Two hour sessions, two hourdrives, rides home, that's what.
(13:47):
Four hours times eight, 32hours total, not even the whole
two days, if you put it alltogether.
He invited me to prom, send off, and from there I told him he
invited me to his graduationcookout and he was going off to
school and I told him I was likethese four years, whatever you
(14:10):
need, I'm here.
He built a business becausewe've connected.
He built a clothing businesscalled Uncommon Clothing and he
graduated college last year.
Come on Earlier, this year, may.
He graduated college in May.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
And for me, that has been a proud moment because I've
seen myself and him as someonethat was written off and I will
always look back and to this day, we literally text, talk, play
video games.
We're actually connecting thisweek and I'm heading back home
(14:50):
to Coach OPA and he's like yo,let's chop it up.
I'm in this adult life now andI'm trying to get things
together.
I was like I got you into thewheels, paulo, like until I'm
six feet under, and even then Istill got you.
I'm going to ask God for afavor.
Can I dip out for a little bit?
I got to go check on somepeople and I truly believe that
(15:13):
and that's everybody I connectwith.
If you truly tap in with me andyou really want what I have to
give, I'm here.
I always tell people my door isalways open.
It's a revolving door.
It could be 2023 now and if youdon't hit me up until 2025,
it's because it's season and youneed something from me.
I got you and it doesn't feellike it's using because it's
(15:37):
genuine.
He always tells me you mean somuch to me.
I appreciate everything.
He tells me my life has changedbecause just being connected
with you and for me.
That's all I need.
I tell him I don't need nothingelse.
I don't need free clothesbecause I'm paying for it.
I don't need nothing from you.
I don't need free clothesbecause I'm paying for it.
(15:57):
I don't need nothing from you.
I just need you to be who youwant to be and truly believe
that you can be it Because youcame from it.
Look where you came from, lookwhere you truly came from and
where you at now and that's justa reflection.
Like I went to school San Copa.
The alternative school iscalled San Copa and it means go
(16:18):
back and fetch, or go back andgive back, so that Sankofa bird
means go back and fetch.
So I'm going back and I'mgetting my young people.
I got you Because somebody didit for me and I always tell
people why you do it, becausesomebody did it for me and I
always tell people why you do itbecause somebody did it for me.
(16:40):
Without them, I don't knowwhere I would be.
So I got, I got to can youanswer this for me?
Speaker 1 (16:50):
what does faith in effort?
Where did you get that titlefrom?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
interesting story um, I was may 2017, supposed to
graduate, lost my mom in um injanuary, or no, lost my mom in
february and I didn't graduate.
So from February, end ofFebruary up until December, deep
(17:22):
depression, isolation, thoughtsof suicide, all these different
things.
And I was sitting in mygrandparents' kitchen because I
had moved back home at the timeand I was tired.
I was tired of being depressed,I was tired of not feeling like
myself.
I was tired and I truly believemy mom came down, ripped me up
(17:50):
by my neck and smacked me in theback of my head.
I was like, listen, it's time.
And I was like I need to createsomething for myself that gives
me, that brings me, you know,that brings me some hope in life
.
And then faith and effort hitme like a ton of bricks.
(18:12):
When I say this was my firstname of the business.
It didn't have anything else.
The only thing that has altered, and not even a lot, was the
logo.
I took off like it was like aheart that connected the F and
the T.
I took that, but literally onlyname.
It wasn't like.
I was like, oh, I need tocreate a business.
Obviously, faith and Effortdidn't even start off as a
(18:33):
business.
It was because my mom, before I, even believed in myself.
She always believed in me andshe always told me if you want
something, go after it.
So faith, the belief inyourself Some people can use it
spiritually the belief inyourself and the belief in a
higher power, effort, go afterit, put in work, understand that
(18:56):
everything is going to requirework and if you want to actually
achieve something in life, yougot to put in that work.
And then from there it went.
From just me making videos ofprojecting how I feel and
projecting the things that I'vegotten through to people are
hitting me up on my DMs like yo,I needed that.
(19:16):
Yo, like I found your page andyou're just so inspirational.
So like.
None of this was playing, thebusiness, the speaking, the
consulting, the name nothing wasever like sat down and I made a
business plan.
None of that.
It was literally to get me outof my depression and that was
(19:39):
the one thing.
When I think about my mom,that's the one thing she always
told me it was embarrassing.
She had a blown up picture ofme with a bio from my
scholarship dinner.
They had blew up a picture I'mlike and she just always telling
everybody.
Had it in the middle of theliving room at my sister's house
and it was just like yo.
(20:01):
But she was just like, sat medown.
She was just like I need you tobe the one.
She sat me down and was like,out of all my kids, I need you
to go to school, I need you togo to college, I need you to go
to school, I need you to go tocollege.
I need you to do somethingdifferent.
Because I didn't even want togo to college.
I was about to join the army.
I was about to just say I'm notgoing to school again, I don't
(20:23):
want to deal with that.
And I just remember my mom saidlike I just need you to go to
school.
And then God did the rest.
God made a phone call thatchanged.
I was about to sign a dottedline.
I passed all the tests, I wasphysically fit, I did everything
.
I was literally about to sign adotted line and I got a call
(20:44):
From the same organization, theCoach for Youth Initiative.
That changed my life.
In the summer of my ninth gradeyear, at 14 years old, I got a
call at 18 years old asking me.
They said you got two options.
You're about to age out of theprogram.
You can either do one more yearor you can be an associate
coordinator at the organization.
(21:05):
And they gave me my firstsalary type job Well, it was
hourly, but it was the mostmoney I ever made.
But literally I was in front ofan army man about to sign, I
had the pen in my hand and onceyou sign it, you sign it.
(21:25):
And I didn't even want to go inthe army, I just didn't want to
go to school.
So I felt like I had to dosomething.
And my dad was in army, mygrandpa was in army why not?
And that call saved me frommaking a decision that I didn't
even want to make, because atthat moment it introduced me to
youth development.
At 18 years old, I was workingwith 40 kids, 40 young kids
(21:47):
between the ages of 14 to 18,even up to my peers.
Leadership development program,eight-week program, monday
through Friday, placed them atjob sites, served as the
supervisor for them, payroll,learned so much.
And then from there it was justlike boom, so like so much.
(22:07):
Stuff has led up to everymoment.
But yeah, that's how long story.
Short faith, never was, neverplanned, it was.
It was a, a gift, it was a, itwas a, it was a saving grace.
It was a saving grace for meand now I want to use that as a
saving grace for me, and now Iwant to use that as a saving
(22:29):
grace for other people.
That's why I embody what Iembody and the message that I
have, and I travel as a speakerand I don't mind getting on a
call with anybody that's justasking me for help, because I
never know what you're actuallygoing through and then if that
can save you, that can be yoursaving grace.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
I'm serving my purpose, yeah okay, okay, this I
feel I'm sitting here going.
He's the boy version of you,because that's how you got my
(23:10):
company name.
My son and I started a companyand the name came to me after I
was giving the decision to makethe name to someone else.
I gave them that decision.
God woke me up at two o'clockin the morning.
Inheritance of praise.
Inheritance of praiseInheritance of, praise global
(23:31):
production.
I said how am I global?
In my one bedroom apartment.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
It's the vision.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Yeah, he said just do what I said.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
And so.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I said inheritance of praise global production.
I wrote it, and then all Icould see was I, and so I said
Inheritance of Praise GlobalProduction.
I wrote it and then all I couldsee was I owe.
praise I owe praise and that'sit right there.
And that's it right there.
(24:11):
And that's how I started.
I didn't.
There were no other titleswritten thought of.
I literally had to call ameeting and tell the person I
know.
I told you yesterday but godmet me to a clock in the
movement.
Let me tell you what happenedwas.
And then I shared and he waslike what can I say if you're
(24:35):
telling me that God gave this toyou?
You preface it that way.
I have no argument.
He was like I was just going tosit down with a notebook and
just work some titles and comeback Cause I was like you can
contribute something.
And I got my daughter, I got myson, I want to invite you in.
(24:56):
And again, I thought this was amusic thing.
That was my guitarist I wastalking to.
It's much bigger than what Ithought.
That's why global production,because now Inheritance of
Praise Produces my podcast.
Wait what?
There's no music out yet.
There is no music out yet.
And I'm like how are we.
(25:18):
We're here.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
It's a production when you hear that there's so
much you can do.
It's the putting on ofsomething.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yes, come on here.
The putting on of something?
Speaker 2 (25:30):
yes, come on here the putting on of something.
Production is the putting on ofsomething, and that's what
you're doing.
This is the first leg yes it'sthe first leg thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
I I, I accept that, I accept you speaking into my
life you never know what isgoing to grow into.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Just allow it to grow .
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Allow it to grow free and you see what happens.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Because you're going to just want to grow.
Just want to grow like a wildtree.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Yes, and that's the thing.
It's just like Myron Goldensaid, you just have to have
expectation.
I tell people that everything,I believe everything has two
sides to it.
I believe everything is atwo-sided coin.
So you can take that sameexpectation and flip it and end
up on tails and you can havehigh expectations of bad things
(26:28):
happening to you all the time,things not going your way.
That's not going to comethrough.
They're not going to do that.
This always happens to me.
So you can have highexpectations of bad, or you can
flip that coin and let it landon heads and you can think
(26:48):
higher and you can sit in thathigh place in Christ and see
great things happen.
And that's where I choose tosit Every day, all day, every
day.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Listen, bring it on.
The good, the bad.
Listen, I got an armor that Godhas given me.
I always tell myself, if I canget through losing both my
parents, I can do anything.
There's something that mightbend me, but I ain't breaking it
.
I haven't felt the lowest ofthe low.
(27:26):
There ain't nothing lower thanthat.
I always tell myself, when I'mreally in something and I start
to really get down, I like allright, we could pull ourself up
from this, because this ain'tnothing.
So I tell myself that it tookme.
It took me.
It took me like maybe 48 hours.
(27:48):
It really shipped out of athing that I was in.
I locked in.
I was like allow my emotions togo.
Luckily I had like a four orfive hour car ride.
Allow my emotions to exist,process them.
I locked back in Time to go.
(28:08):
Time to put the red hat on time, to put the hoodie on.
This is my armor, this is whatprotects me.
Let's go, let's get it.
And I now I'm refocused on awhole different level.
Now I'm refocused on a wholedifferent level and I'm in a
different bag.
Like my man, chris, said and heactually tapped into the podcast
(28:28):
, he texted me.
He was like yo, I just gotfinished a gig.
I caught the tail end, but Ilearned something.
Mind you, he got like 10 yearson me, so it was like for him to
give me the flyer that he'sgave me over these past months
or two and then just tell melike I'm just operating on a
(28:50):
different level.
He told me I was elbow deep,and not just a regular bag, with
a louis baton bag.
I was like I appreciate that.
I never.
He told me I was in a louis bag, like okay, I'm, I'm, I'm
cooking with.
I'm cooking with with fishgrease.
Now I just, I ain't just canola,you know, I'm cooking with
(29:10):
fresh grease, something in a potjust cooking, yeah, yeah, and
that's what I know, like our vet, like like that's when I know,
like okay, when I'm I'm makingright decisions, like yes, yeah,
it's amazing you, when you madethat change, and that change
was you choosing the better you.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
You chose to go with the higher you.
You chose to go with theconfident you.
You chose to go with themotivated, excited, impactful
you.
But you have to choose that.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Power of choice, the greatest power that we have.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Just to hear how everything changed from a choice
.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
One decision turns into two, turns into three, and
I always tell people onedecision, just start with one
and see how it feels and, if youlike it, make another decision
in that direction.
Right then make anotherdecision.
And then you start to makedecisions on autopilot, like you
(30:26):
build that muscle.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
It's like lifting weights you build that muscle
and then it becomes easier to dobeing in business.
Now for me it's becoming easierto do and I can literally say
my mental bandwidth is reallystretching beyond the lazy me I
(30:48):
used to be.
I can honestly say I was like,oh, you were lazy, you just you
procrastinated on purpose.
You planned to procrastinate.
You're like, oh, okay, I'mgoing to do this first and then
I'm going to get to that.
And by the time it's time toget to that yeah, it's 12
o'clock, I'm going to go to bed.
Then I have to get back andstart doing all the things of
(31:10):
life.
And then it just keeps.
I keep doing it and I had torealize I was doing it for one
purpose.
Then I had to stop and look atmyself and say why are you doing
it?
And we're back at your mothergoing you're the one, You're the
(31:31):
chosen one.
For me.
That was the call that came frommy grandma.
She didn't use those words, butI sang, I went to a performing
arts school and then I went to aconservatory, and these are top
entities that I went to.
I and there's.
If you're in dmv, you want toget into duke ellington and if
(31:57):
around the world you're in thearts the school, to get into 400
students.
And I was one of the eightblack students there Juilliard,
yeah, my grandmother.
(32:18):
When Oprah was doing the showand she was really spotlighting
artists and singers, mygrandmother called my mother and
my grandmother don't play withher long distance, You're going
to run up her electricity.
You know this is back when youpaid for every moment on that
phone Like it was a popper ratephone.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
They used to tell you you could get electrocuted.
Now I'll be looking back likeblack people be lying.
Yeah, black people be lying.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
They made stuff up.
They made stuff up to make, toinstill the fear needed in us to
keep us safe.
I feel I, I really do feel.
And so she was like yeah, if Itell you that runs up my, close
my door, you're running up mybill close.
They gave you the reason whythey didn't just say close the
(33:07):
door because I said Because.
Then the next generation cameand they said do it.
Because I said do it, theydidn't give a story.
So then there was ourgeneration where we were just
free willy with it.
Now I'm going to believewhatever you say, what that
teacher say Uh-uh, what did yousay happened?
Oh, I'm going back up there andI'm going back up there and
everything went left.
(33:28):
See, don't get me on that tan.
See that you get me sad.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
I'm going to go back to where Iwas.
My grandmother, much like yourmother, looking you in the face.
My grandmother sent the messageto my mother.
Grandma Ski said you need tocall Oprah, you need to go on
(33:48):
that show.
I ran, I hid, I've had mycousin call me and say can you
come sing at the wedding?
I heard the message and Ididn't respond and my sister was
like yo, he looking for you, hewants you to sing at his
wedding.
Why answer the call?
(34:10):
I didn't realize that I wasactually not as confident in
myself as everyone could hear Ishould be.
They could hear the value, theycould hear the richness.
They could hear the value, theycould hear the richness, they
(34:31):
could hear the glory that camethrough, but I didn't feel it.
So I was like I don't know ifit's going to show up again.
I'm not confident that if I gothere and I sing, I'm going to
be able to show up the way thatit happened that time, like I
didn't have confidence in thereproduction of greatness
(34:53):
happening through me.
Now I sing with this in mind.
I'm just here to have a goodtime.
If it sounds amazing, that isawesome.
But guess what If I told you Iwas coming and I'm here and it
sounds awful?
That means I need to sit downand figure out what did you do?
What didn't you do?
(35:14):
How can we make sure thisdoesn't happen again?
But then I also found out thatthere are times that I am in
room singing and God won't allowmy gift to shine on purpose.
And God won't allow my gift toshine on purpose, because as I
keep going to the room, I startto realize like you were talking
about those people thatactually weren't your friends.
(35:38):
As an adult, as recently asDecember, I had to disconnect
from something because Irealized, yeah, this isn't the
space for me.
The way we met thatpre-conversation is not what I'm
getting now.
So I realized the toxicity ofthe environment that was there
(36:03):
in reference to me.
It seemed like everyone else inthe room got love and I got
scolded for the thing that youbrought me.
Brought me there because yousaid your voice is amazing, but
it seemed like that person wasactually jealous of me.
I couldn't, I couldn't place.
I'm like is it me?
(36:23):
Why does it?
Every time everybody else inthe room is around, I get talked
to in a certain manner that isnot becoming or befitting or
encouraging, to make me believethat I'm really wanted in this
space.
But God would not.
I'm telling you right now.
(36:44):
I would sing every Sunday at twochurches.
Everything came out nice.
I would get to this space andit never, ever panned out.
Only the first time, becausethe first time I sang to his
glory.
The next time, yeah, you thinkyou can do something else,
because this is going to be thetopic, and I was like, oh okay,
(37:06):
I got you.
You know, I sing as long asit's not raunchy and derogatory.
I'm good as long as it'stelling a story and at the end
of that story somebody can gogood, I'm not the only one that
went through that and I can seehere how you made it out.
I'm good with singing.
(37:27):
It would not.
I would pick songs and it justwould not go over.
Well, it was everything thatcould happen to a vocalist the
room being dry, my vocal cordsfeeling tense, me not being able
to hear.
And if I can't hear the music,how am I going to sing to the
(37:48):
music?
It was like everything workedagainst me and it just took time
for me to sit down and go.
I'm not supposed to be here.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Hey, listen, people, we have to understand even the
most talented people in thewrong environment.
It makes you look mediocre,like it makes you look mediocre,
like it makes you look mediocre.
And I know that feeling ofbeing in the wrong environment
where you start to believe again, to believe like the things
(38:23):
that you feel, because it's likea feeling right, it's like,
dang, I'm not performing the wayI.
I know I can well, did I loseit and all this and all that.
Um, it's like when sportsplayers get traded to certain
teams and they go from likeamazing to like not good and
people understand, like you know, um, like it's just crazy, um,
(38:49):
but like, yeah, I'm glad thatyou were able to see that and
not let it again change yourview on yourself.
You really allowed yourself tosit down and figure it out yes,
yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
It has been an amazing night.
I appreciate you sharing thetime, taking the time from your
family to be here.
Okay.
So wait, even in that momentyou said I'm chasing after
myself, I'm loving myself, I'mhappy with myself, I am
confident in who I am.
That in itself preaches,because you actually do have to
(00:23):
run from, as you were saying,the person that people were
telling you you were, because,as a child, you don't know
better.
That's why the Bible says ifyou as a child, you spoke as a
child and you did things as achild.
So there should be always thatlevel of understanding of if a
(00:47):
child is misbehaving, ok, thisis a child.
So now you need to give thechild the opportunity to give
(01:07):
you the tools and the tactics tobe that better you and be that
amazing you, to see yourselfactually blessed and loved and
happy and confident.
I just ah, that was verydisheartening.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
And the one thing that just hit me, because again
it's all about like you have tolook at life, but you said
perspective, right, and thedifferent lens, and looking back
on those moments as much aslike it shouldn't have happened
(01:47):
If it didn't imagine, if theydidn't say anything and they
just, like you know, kind ofpush me to the side and like
he's just gonna be whatever he'sgonna be.
I wouldn't have understood whatit felt like to actually get
like good advice from adults toactually listen to the right
people, because I had to learnwhat the wrong, how to listen to
the wrong people before I couldunderstand that what they're
saying is wrong.
And now that I'm older, I lookback at those moments and it's
(02:11):
like yo, I'm glad I got kickedout of my school district.
I'm glad I got sent to thisalternative school that was
African-centered and I learnedabout who I was.
I wasn't going to learn that atthe public school.
If they would have just keptpushing me along, pushing me
along, who knows where I wouldhave been, if they just said we
just don't want to ignore him,ignore his behavior, keep
(02:33):
pushing him along.
We're not going to expel him,we're not going to kick him out
of the school district, imagine,because I was on a path of
self-destruction.
But again, it's like I neededto be kicked off that path and
they honestly, in a sense,kicked me off that path, even if
they didn't know that they did.
(02:54):
And it just goes to show theimportance of just knowing and
loving yourself but also knowingwhat you're not.
And I think a lot of peoplethey might say I know myself,
but do you know what you're not?
Do you truly know what you'renot?
Because you everything rightnow, you this, you that, you,
this person, you that person butwhat aren't you?
(03:17):
And I know now I'm a personthat is confident.
I'm not a person that doesn'thave confidence in myself.
I'm not a person that thatdoesn't want to, that doesn't
put myself first Right.
Um, and a lot of people you knowthey talk about selfishness, um
around it, because once you getto a certain point where you
(03:38):
can help people, selfishness,you know family says it when you
, when you feel like you are thechosen one.
And for me I feel like you knowGod has chosen me to break
certain generational curses, togo off and do certain things, to
change the trajectory of myfamily, because my family is on
(03:59):
a path of self-destruction and Iwas on that path too, but I was
blessed enough to have so muchhate that I was like man.
I'm tired of this.
And again, my family alwaystalks about it.
You know you don't come aroundenough and it's not because I
don't like it.
I mean some of them I don'tlike it.
It's okay, I don't likeeverybody, but if I love you, I
(04:20):
love you and I love you.
And for me, I always tell themit's because I'm on a mission
and sometimes I need to belocked in and I can't be around
distraction or put myself in anenvironment where something can
go wrong.
And I always tell people thatyou've got to be selfish,
because if you are selfish, it'sa reflection of how selfless
(04:44):
you are.
Because if you are selfish,it's a reflection of how
selfless you are, because themore that you can pour into you,
the more that you can give tosomeone else.
And I just remember, you know,being on a plane and hearing
someone say, when a mask droppeddown, put the mask over your
face, first as an adult and thenyour child.
I'm like y'all are tripping.
There is a six year old kid,eight-old kid, that is sitting
(05:09):
right next, no mask on.
But then I realized and it'ssomething that came to my mind
throughout this conversation,which I appreciate you bringing
it out is that oxygen in itssimplest form is life, and we
can't pour into other people'slife.
We can't give someone you knowthe ability to truly live if
(05:34):
we're passed out.
And that's that same thing Ifyou put the mask over the kid
and you pass out halfway through, they're not going to know how
to do it.
The same way, the people thatneed you in your life.
You got to be selfish enough toput that mask on and give
yourself life.
Give yourself oxygen first,because once you have oxygen,
(05:55):
then you can help someone elseget oxygen, because even if
they're struggling, they're on abrink of passing out.
That oxygen mask brings themback to life.
When on the brink ofself-destruction, you have the
bandwidth now to pull them upwithout them pulling you down.
And that's like that's justlike really what it is and
(06:19):
that's what you brought out.
You had me really understandlike being confident in yourself
and I'm ripping off theselabels.
It's like giving yourselfoxygen.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
My goodness, it's like giving yourself oxygen.
You said oxygen in its simplestform is life and he breathed
the breath of life into Adam.
Oxygen in its simplest form islife.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
My God.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I am Wow, like you had me going.
I kept jumping because it wasjust for me doing the interview.
When think, when I startyourself, it was like a mirror
that you were holding up and Iactually could see myself in
(07:34):
different things.
Even in this after party, I amseeing different things that I
hear you talking about.
I was that 20-year-old motherwith my six-month,
four-month-old baby girl andthat stewardess on that airplane
(07:54):
as I flew from DC to New York,a 45-minute flight.
When she gave that speech abouttaking that oxygen mask and
giving it to yourself and thengiving it to your baby that's
months old, she acted as thoughit was a full flight.
It's going to New York, from DCto New York.
(08:17):
It's a full flight.
There was no one else on thatplane but me, her and my baby
shereen.
There was no one else.
She talked directly to thatbaby I know I look like a baby
holding a baby to make sure Iunderstood.
You have to take.
(08:37):
You gotta save you first andthen give to her, because you'll
be strong enough, just as yousaid, to help.
The give back to me is real.
That's why I, every episode,have taken up the charge of
telling people about BethanyHouse and reminding people that
if they're in trouble or theyknow someone in trouble
(08:59):
suffering at the hand ofdomestic violence.
That's why I encourage them tolock that number in, because if
you happen upon somebody, justgive them the information, just
tell them listen, reach out,make that call.
It's very important that giveback.
So I feel as though you're veryI wholeheartedly agree.
(09:20):
Save yourself so that you'restrong enough to help someone
else I, I.
What is your victory story inyour give back help?
What is that victory story?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
so one of my mentees I got.
I got a good amount of menteesbecause I always tell young
people once you with're with me,you're with me for life, you
can't get rid of me.
I'm like a bad edge that youcan't scratch.
I'm here, I'm loud, I'mrambunctious, I'm your biggest
(09:54):
cheerleader, I'm your coach,whatever you need me to be in
that moment, I'm there and forme.
I used to teach job skills andlife skills to juvenile
probation kids and my speechlike I've worked with foster
care kids, juvenile probationkids and my speech every time I
come in there.
(10:15):
And one I hated that we had ourgroups in the courtroom because
I felt like that was just likebad, like a bad environment,
like why would you have us in acourtroom, in a hearing room at
that.
So I come in, sit thereEveryone's kind of doing what
they doing.
I'm like 25 at the time 24.
(10:36):
And I just sit there and I givethe same speech.
I tell them listen y'all, I'mnot a probation officer, I'm not
an officer of the court.
I do not work in the courthouse.
I honestly hate the courthouse.
I hate everything about it.
I've been here too many timeswith family members.
I hate it and saying that Ihave a job to do.
(10:59):
That's to give y'all thisinformation.
You have a job to do.
It's to give y'all thisinformation.
You have a job to do.
It's to be here so that by theend of this you can get off
probation.
And I would tell them I'm nothere to judge y'all.
I don't care what y'all did.
All I know is the onlydifference between me and you
and me and that judge thatjudges you and me, and the
(11:22):
lawyer that didn't talk crazyabout you and drug you through
the mud, is y'all either gotcaught or snitched on and we
just I, I done done things thatshould have landed me behind
bars didn't get caught, orsomeone didn't.
So I told him let's, let's getthat clear.
And then the second thing is aslong as you don't do nothing
(11:43):
too crazy I'm not talking toyour POs, I don't, because I'm
not in the business of keepingyour own probation, because it's
a trap.
I hit him with that when I saylike they went, like they stood
up, yeah.
And then one student inparticular, josh.
He was on probation.
(12:05):
We had an eight-week programand within those eight weeks the
real magic happened when I gotto drop all these kids off.
Mind you, I'm going all over.
We leave around six.
I don't get home until like 10.
I'm going drop-offs all overbut we in the van plug in in
(12:25):
music, put me on the music, theyput me on the artist that I
still listen to today.
But I just remember josh isalways getting the uh passenger
seat.
We chop it up and eventuallyhe'll be like yo, can I be the
last person you drop off?
And I'm like all right, cool,like you live close to me, like
that's that works out and weshould just have conversations,
just talking.
(12:46):
I would talk more about mybusiness.
This is when Faith and Effortfirst started.
Different things like that.
I lie to you.
Not Eight weeks of that program, graduation hit.
They all graduated.
I had a 100% graduation rate onaverage.
I got about over time.
(13:07):
Over the course of three, theyall graduated.
I had a 100 percent graduationrate on average and I got.
I got about over time.
Over the course of like threeyears I probably got close to
maybe 100 kids off probation.
But him in particular.
He went from being on probationto graduating high school and
(13:27):
I'm sorry he went from being onprobation and graduating high
school and hold on, sorry.
Oh, he went from being onprobation and graduating high
school.
He invited me to his prom manyou only know this kid eight
weeks and we got a session oncea week like so man, I've been
with him eight times.
Two hour sessions, two hourdrives, rides home, that's what.
(13:47):
Four hours times eight, 32hours total, not even the whole
two days, if you put it alltogether.
He invited me to prom, send off, and from there I told him he
invited me to his graduationcookout and he was going off to
school and I told him I was likethese four years, whatever you
(14:10):
need, I'm here.
He built a business becausewe've connected.
He built a clothing businesscalled Uncommon Clothing and he
graduated college last year.
Come on Earlier, this year, may.
He graduated college in May.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
And for me, that has been a proud moment because I've
seen myself and him as someonethat was written off and I will
always look back and to this day, we literally text, talk, play
video games.
We're actually connecting thisweek and I'm heading back home
(14:50):
to Coach OPA and he's like yo,let's chop it up.
I'm in this adult life now andI'm trying to get things
together.
I was like I got you into thewheels, paulo, like until I'm
six feet under, and even then Istill got you.
I'm going to ask God for afavor.
Can I dip out for a little bit?
I got to go check on somepeople and I truly believe that
(15:13):
and that's everybody I connectwith.
If you truly tap in with me andyou really want what I have to
give, I'm here.
I always tell people my door isalways open.
It's a revolving door.
It could be 2023 now and if youdon't hit me up until 2025,
it's because it's season and youneed something from me.
I got you and it doesn't feellike it's using because it's
(15:37):
genuine.
He always tells me you mean somuch to me.
I appreciate everything.
He tells me my life has changedbecause just being connected
with you and for me.
That's all I need.
I tell him I don't need nothingelse.
I don't need free clothesbecause I'm paying for it.
I don't need nothing from you.
I don't need free clothesbecause I'm paying for it.
(15:57):
I don't need nothing from you.
I just need you to be who youwant to be and truly believe
that you can be it Because youcame from it.
Look where you came from, lookwhere you truly came from and
where you at now and that's justa reflection.
Like I went to school San Copa.
The alternative school iscalled San Copa and it means go
(16:18):
back and fetch, or go back andgive back, so that Sankofa bird
means go back and fetch.
So I'm going back and I'mgetting my young people.
I got you Because somebody didit for me and I always tell
people why you do it, becausesomebody did it for me and I
always tell people why you do itbecause somebody did it for me.
(16:40):
Without them, I don't knowwhere I would be.
So I got, I got to can youanswer this for me?
Speaker 1 (16:50):
what does faith in effort?
Where did you get that titlefrom?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
interesting story um, I was may 2017, supposed to
graduate, lost my mom in um injanuary, or no, lost my mom in
february and I didn't graduate.
So from February, end ofFebruary up until December, deep
(17:22):
depression, isolation, thoughtsof suicide, all these different
things.
And I was sitting in mygrandparents' kitchen because I
had moved back home at the timeand I was tired.
I was tired of being depressed,I was tired of not feeling like
myself.
I was tired and I truly believemy mom came down, ripped me up
(17:50):
by my neck and smacked me in theback of my head.
I was like, listen, it's time.
And I was like I need to createsomething for myself that gives
me, that brings me, you know,that brings me some hope in life
.
And then faith and effort hitme like a ton of bricks.
(18:12):
When I say this was my firstname of the business.
It didn't have anything else.
The only thing that has altered, and not even a lot, was the
logo.
I took off like it was like aheart that connected the F and
the T.
I took that, but literally onlyname.
It wasn't like.
I was like, oh, I need tocreate a business.
Obviously, faith and Effortdidn't even start off as a
(18:33):
business.
It was because my mom, before I, even believed in myself.
She always believed in me andshe always told me if you want
something, go after it.
So faith, the belief inyourself Some people can use it
spiritually the belief inyourself and the belief in a
higher power, effort, go afterit, put in work, understand that
(18:56):
everything is going to requirework and if you want to actually
achieve something in life, yougot to put in that work.
And then from there it went.
From just me making videos ofprojecting how I feel and
projecting the things that I'vegotten through to people are
hitting me up on my DMs like yo,I needed that.
(19:16):
Yo, like I found your page andyou're just so inspirational.
So like.
None of this was playing, thebusiness, the speaking, the
consulting, the name nothing wasever like sat down and I made a
business plan.
None of that.
It was literally to get me outof my depression and that was
(19:39):
the one thing.
When I think about my mom,that's the one thing she always
told me it was embarrassing.
She had a blown up picture ofme with a bio from my
scholarship dinner.
They had blew up a picture I'mlike and she just always telling
everybody.
Had it in the middle of theliving room at my sister's house
and it was just like yo.
(20:01):
But she was just like, sat medown.
She was just like I need you tobe the one.
She sat me down and was like,out of all my kids, I need you
to go to school, I need you togo to college, I need you to go
to school, I need you to go tocollege.
I need you to do somethingdifferent.
Because I didn't even want togo to college.
I was about to join the army.
I was about to just say I'm notgoing to school again, I don't
(20:23):
want to deal with that.
And I just remember my mom saidlike I just need you to go to
school.
And then God did the rest.
God made a phone call thatchanged.
I was about to sign a dottedline.
I passed all the tests, I wasphysically fit, I did everything
.
I was literally about to sign adotted line and I got a call
(20:44):
From the same organization, theCoach for Youth Initiative.
That changed my life.
In the summer of my ninth gradeyear, at 14 years old, I got a
call at 18 years old asking me.
They said you got two options.
You're about to age out of theprogram.
You can either do one more yearor you can be an associate
coordinator at the organization.
(21:05):
And they gave me my firstsalary type job Well, it was
hourly, but it was the mostmoney I ever made.
But literally I was in front ofan army man about to sign, I
had the pen in my hand and onceyou sign it, you sign it.
(21:25):
And I didn't even want to go inthe army, I just didn't want to
go to school.
So I felt like I had to dosomething.
And my dad was in army, mygrandpa was in army why not?
And that call saved me frommaking a decision that I didn't
even want to make, because atthat moment it introduced me to
youth development.
At 18 years old, I was workingwith 40 kids, 40 young kids
(21:47):
between the ages of 14 to 18,even up to my peers.
Leadership development program,eight-week program, monday
through Friday, placed them atjob sites, served as the
supervisor for them, payroll,learned so much.
And then from there it was justlike boom, so like so much.
(22:07):
Stuff has led up to everymoment.
But yeah, that's how long story.
Short faith, never was, neverplanned, it was.
It was a, a gift, it was a, itwas a, it was a saving grace.
It was a saving grace for meand now I want to use that as a
saving grace for me, and now Iwant to use that as a saving
(22:29):
grace for other people.
That's why I embody what Iembody and the message that I
have, and I travel as a speakerand I don't mind getting on a
call with anybody that's justasking me for help, because I
never know what you're actuallygoing through and then if that
can save you, that can be yoursaving grace.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
I'm serving my purpose, yeah okay, okay, this I
feel I'm sitting here going.
He's the boy version of you,because that's how you got my
(23:10):
company name.
My son and I started a companyand the name came to me after I
was giving the decision to makethe name to someone else.
I gave them that decision.
God woke me up at two o'clockin the morning.
Inheritance of praise.
Inheritance of praiseInheritance of, praise global
(23:31):
production.
I said how am I global?
In my one bedroom apartment.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
It's the vision.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Yeah, he said just do what I said.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
And so.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I said inheritance of praise global production.
I wrote it, and then all Icould see was I, and so I said
Inheritance of Praise GlobalProduction.
I wrote it and then all I couldsee was I owe.
praise I owe praise and that'sit right there.
And that's it right there.
(24:11):
And that's how I started.
I didn't.
There were no other titleswritten thought of.
I literally had to call ameeting and tell the person I
know.
I told you yesterday but godmet me to a clock in the
movement.
Let me tell you what happenedwas.
And then I shared and he waslike what can I say if you're
(24:35):
telling me that God gave this toyou?
You preface it that way.
I have no argument.
He was like I was just going tosit down with a notebook and
just work some titles and comeback Cause I was like you can
contribute something.
And I got my daughter, I got myson, I want to invite you in.
(24:56):
And again, I thought this was amusic thing.
That was my guitarist I wastalking to.
It's much bigger than what Ithought.
That's why global production,because now Inheritance of
Praise Produces my podcast.
Wait what?
There's no music out yet.
There is no music out yet.
And I'm like how are we.
(25:18):
We're here.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
It's a production when you hear that there's so
much you can do.
It's the putting on ofsomething.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yes, come on here.
The putting on of something?
Speaker 2 (25:30):
yes, come on here the putting on of something.
Production is the putting on ofsomething, and that's what
you're doing.
This is the first leg yes it'sthe first leg thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
I I, I accept that, I accept you speaking into my
life you never know what isgoing to grow into.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Just allow it to grow .
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
Allow it to grow free and you see what happens.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Because you're going to just want to grow.
Just want to grow like a wildtree.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Yes, and that's the thing.
It's just like Myron Goldensaid, you just have to have
expectation.
I tell people that everything,I believe everything has two
sides to it.
I believe everything is atwo-sided coin.
So you can take that sameexpectation and flip it and end
up on tails and you can havehigh expectations of bad things
(26:28):
happening to you all the time,things not going your way.
That's not going to comethrough.
They're not going to do that.
This always happens to me.
So you can have highexpectations of bad, or you can
flip that coin and let it landon heads and you can think
(26:48):
higher and you can sit in thathigh place in Christ and see
great things happen.
And that's where I choose tosit Every day, all day, every
day.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Listen, bring it on.
The good, the bad.
Listen, I got an armor that Godhas given me.
I always tell myself, if I canget through losing both my
parents, I can do anything.
There's something that mightbend me, but I ain't breaking it
.
I haven't felt the lowest ofthe low.
(27:26):
There ain't nothing lower thanthat.
I always tell myself, when I'mreally in something and I start
to really get down, I like allright, we could pull ourself up
from this, because this ain'tnothing.
So I tell myself that it tookme.
It took me.
It took me like maybe 48 hours.
(27:48):
It really shipped out of athing that I was in.
I locked in.
I was like allow my emotions togo.
Luckily I had like a four orfive hour car ride.
Allow my emotions to exist,process them.
I locked back in Time to go.
(28:08):
Time to put the red hat on time, to put the hoodie on.
This is my armor, this is whatprotects me.
Let's go, let's get it.
And I now I'm refocused on awhole different level.
Now I'm refocused on a wholedifferent level and I'm in a
different bag.
Like my man, chris, said and heactually tapped into the podcast
(28:28):
, he texted me.
He was like yo, I just gotfinished a gig.
I caught the tail end, but Ilearned something.
Mind you, he got like 10 yearson me, so it was like for him to
give me the flyer that he'sgave me over these past months
or two and then just tell melike I'm just operating on a
(28:50):
different level.
He told me I was elbow deep,and not just a regular bag, with
a louis baton bag.
I was like I appreciate that.
I never.
He told me I was in a louis bag, like okay, I'm, I'm, I'm
cooking with.
I'm cooking with with fishgrease.
Now I just, I ain't just canola,you know, I'm cooking with
(29:10):
fresh grease, something in a potjust cooking, yeah, yeah, and
that's what I know, like our vet, like like that's when I know,
like okay, when I'm I'm makingright decisions, like yes, yeah,
it's amazing you, when you madethat change, and that change
was you choosing the better you.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
You chose to go with the higher you.
You chose to go with theconfident you.
You chose to go with themotivated, excited, impactful
you.
But you have to choose that.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Power of choice, the greatest power that we have.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Just to hear how everything changed from a choice
.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
One decision turns into two, turns into three, and
I always tell people onedecision, just start with one
and see how it feels and, if youlike it, make another decision
in that direction.
Right then make anotherdecision.
And then you start to makedecisions on autopilot, like you
(30:26):
build that muscle.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
It's like lifting weights you build that muscle
and then it becomes easier to dobeing in business.
Now for me it's becoming easierto do and I can literally say
my mental bandwidth is reallystretching beyond the lazy me I
(30:48):
used to be.
I can honestly say I was like,oh, you were lazy, you just you
procrastinated on purpose.
You planned to procrastinate.
You're like, oh, okay, I'mgoing to do this first and then
I'm going to get to that.
And by the time it's time toget to that yeah, it's 12
o'clock, I'm going to go to bed.
Then I have to get back andstart doing all the things of
(31:10):
life.
And then it just keeps.
I keep doing it and I had torealize I was doing it for one
purpose.
Then I had to stop and look atmyself and say why are you doing
it?
And we're back at your mothergoing you're the one, You're the
(31:31):
chosen one.
For me.
That was the call that came frommy grandma.
She didn't use those words, butI sang, I went to a performing
arts school and then I went to aconservatory, and these are top
entities that I went to.
I and there's.
If you're in dmv, you want toget into duke ellington and if
(31:57):
around the world you're in thearts the school, to get into 400
students.
And I was one of the eightblack students there Juilliard,
yeah, my grandmother.
(32:18):
When Oprah was doing the showand she was really spotlighting
artists and singers, mygrandmother called my mother and
my grandmother don't play withher long distance, You're going
to run up her electricity.
You know this is back when youpaid for every moment on that
phone Like it was a popper ratephone.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
They used to tell you you could get electrocuted.
Now I'll be looking back likeblack people be lying.
Yeah, black people be lying.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
They made stuff up.
They made stuff up to make, toinstill the fear needed in us to
keep us safe.
I feel I, I really do feel.
And so she was like yeah, if Itell you that runs up my, close
my door, you're running up mybill close.
They gave you the reason whythey didn't just say close the
(33:07):
door because I said Because.
Then the next generation cameand they said do it.
Because I said do it, theydidn't give a story.
So then there was ourgeneration where we were just
free willy with it.
Now I'm going to believewhatever you say, what that
teacher say Uh-uh, what did yousay happened?
Oh, I'm going back up there andI'm going back up there and
everything went left.
(33:28):
See, don't get me on that tan.
See that you get me sad.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
I'm going to go back to where Iwas.
My grandmother, much like yourmother, looking you in the face.
My grandmother sent the messageto my mother.
Grandma Ski said you need tocall Oprah, you need to go on
(33:48):
that show.
I ran, I hid, I've had mycousin call me and say can you
come sing at the wedding?
I heard the message and Ididn't respond and my sister was
like yo, he looking for you, hewants you to sing at his
wedding.
Why answer the call?
(34:10):
I didn't realize that I wasactually not as confident in
myself as everyone could hear Ishould be.
They could hear the value, theycould hear the richness.
They could hear the value, theycould hear the richness, they
(34:31):
could hear the glory that camethrough, but I didn't feel it.
So I was like I don't know ifit's going to show up again.
I'm not confident that if I gothere and I sing, I'm going to
be able to show up the way thatit happened that time, like I
didn't have confidence in thereproduction of greatness
(34:53):
happening through me.
Now I sing with this in mind.
I'm just here to have a goodtime.
If it sounds amazing, that isawesome.
But guess what If I told you Iwas coming and I'm here and it
sounds awful?
That means I need to sit downand figure out what did you do?
What didn't you do?
(35:14):
How can we make sure thisdoesn't happen again?
But then I also found out thatthere are times that I am in
room singing and God won't allowmy gift to shine on purpose.
And God won't allow my gift toshine on purpose, because as I
keep going to the room, I startto realize like you were talking
about those people thatactually weren't your friends.
(35:38):
As an adult, as recently asDecember, I had to disconnect
from something because Irealized, yeah, this isn't the
space for me.
The way we met thatpre-conversation is not what I'm
getting now.
So I realized the toxicity ofthe environment that was there
(36:03):
in reference to me.
It seemed like everyone else inthe room got love and I got
scolded for the thing that youbrought me.
Brought me there because yousaid your voice is amazing, but
it seemed like that person wasactually jealous of me.
I couldn't, I couldn't place.
I'm like is it me?
(36:23):
Why does it?
Every time everybody else inthe room is around, I get talked
to in a certain manner that isnot becoming or befitting or
encouraging, to make me believethat I'm really wanted in this
space.
But God would not.
I'm telling you right now.
(36:44):
I would sing every Sunday at twochurches.
Everything came out nice.
I would get to this space andit never, ever panned out.
Only the first time, becausethe first time I sang to his
glory.
The next time, yeah, you thinkyou can do something else,
because this is going to be thetopic, and I was like, oh okay,
(37:06):
I got you.
You know, I sing as long asit's not raunchy and derogatory.
I'm good as long as it'stelling a story and at the end
of that story somebody can gogood, I'm not the only one that
went through that and I can seehere how you made it out.
I'm good with singing.
(37:27):
It would not.
I would pick songs and it justwould not go over.
Well, it was everything thatcould happen to a vocalist the
room being dry, my vocal cordsfeeling tense, me not being able
to hear.
And if I can't hear the music,how am I going to sing to the
(37:48):
music?
It was like everything workedagainst me and it just took time
for me to sit down and go.
I'm not supposed to be here.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Hey, listen, people, we have to understand even the
most talented people in thewrong environment.
It makes you look mediocre,like it makes you look mediocre,
like it makes you look mediocre.
And I know that feeling ofbeing in the wrong environment
where you start to believe again, to believe like the things
(38:23):
that you feel, because it's likea feeling right, it's like,
dang, I'm not performing the wayI.
I know I can well, did I loseit and all this and all that.
Um, it's like when sportsplayers get traded to certain
teams and they go from likeamazing to like not good and
people understand, like you know, um, like it's just crazy, um,
(38:49):
but like, yeah, I'm glad thatyou were able to see that and
not let it again change yourview on yourself.
You really allowed yourself tosit down and figure it out yes,
yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
It has been an amazing night.
I appreciate you sharing thetime, taking the time from your
family to be here.
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