Conflict avoidance isn’t a personality flaw. It’s a survival strategy in the face of manufactured scarcity.
Of course, there is abundant potential for leadership, wisdom, and trust.
And yet, living in hierarchies, we perceive a scarcity of leadership. With expert-driven learning, we perceive a scarcity of wisdom. With separation culture, we perceive a scarcity of trustworthiness.
When we don’t trust that we'll be cared for, of course, we act in self-preservation rather than collaboration. Of course, we avoid talking about our disagreements and differences.
And yet, as Beth Tener shares in my most recent episode of Conflict Decoded, to address the dire social and environmental challenges we face, we must reweave our collaborative kinship networks and trust in our teams. In this episode, she offers practical guidance to teach us how.
SHOW NOTES
Reweaving Kinship & Trust in Our Teams with Beth Tener
In this week’s episode of Conflict Decoded—Reweaving Kinship & Trust in Our Teams, Beth Tener talks about how the rigidity and stuckness we often experience in our relationships arise from a deeply-rooted sense of fear and insecurity stemming from dominant culture’s pervasive individualism and the breakdown of kinship bonds.
Conflict avoidance isn’t a personality flaw. It’s a survival strategy in the face of manufactured scarcity.
When we don’t trust that we'll be cared for, of course, we act in self-preservation rather than collaboration. Of course, we avoid talking about our disagreements and differences.
And yet, as Beth shares, to address our dire social and environmental challenges, we must reweave our collaborative networks and rebuild deep friendships.
The breakdown of relationships gave rise to most of our current problems, so to repair the world, we must also repair our network of relationships.
Key Topics Discussed:
Navigating Rigidity & Systemic Stuckness
Beth shares how modern systems can become rigid and stuck due to fear, trauma, and scarcity mindsets. She offers strategies to help organizations embrace flexibility and navigate complexity through collaborative problem-solving.
Collaborative Leadership & Co-creation
Beth explains the shift from individualism to collaborative networks, emphasizing that real change happens through collective efforts. She highlights the importance of designing systems that foster trust and connection within teams and organizations.
Building Trust & Social Connectivity in Teams
Trust is the foundation of effective team collaboration. Beth discusses the need to build kinship networks and create environments where deep relationships thrive, enabling teams to be more resilient and creative in the face of challenges.
Transforming Conflict Through Open Dialogue
Beth offers practical tips for conflict resolution by normalizing open conversations and creating spaces where difficult topics can be addressed safely. She explains how conflict avoidance often stems from trauma and highlights the importance of handling conflict with compassion and intentionality.
Designing for Connection in Meetings & Gatherings
Beth shares her insights on designing meetings that foster human connection rather than just being transactional. By focusing on relational aspects, organizations can create more meaningful and productive interactions that build collaborative leadership.
Managing Polarities in Leadership
In this episode, Beth introduces the concept of polarity management—the balance between rigidity and responsiveness. She explains how navigating these polarities can help teams depersonalize conflict and embrace both structure and flexibility when necessary.
Prioritizing Time Together for Team Success
Beth underscores the value of investing time in building relationships through retreats and extended team gatherings. She encourages organizations to create spaces that allow for deep collaboration, which leads to long-term success.