The Neuroscience of Human Connection with Sarah Peyton

Sarah Peyton is a neuroscience educator, Nonviolent Communication trainer, and, as a good friend of mine calls her, “brain whisperer.” Her live events, online courses, and bestselling books have transformed my coaching work and have helped my clients and me unstuck from many limiting personal and interpersonal patterns. We talk about the neuroscience of blame, guilt, shame, rage, and demonization, the difference between left-hemisphere and right-hemispheric thinking and why it matters for resolving conflict, and how to heal our brains and our relationships with empathy guesses. Sarah’s work has changed my life and my client’s lives, and I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.   SHOW NOTES Episode Summary: Unlocking Empathy: Neuroscience of Human Connection with Sarah Peyton Sarah Peyton is a neuroscience educator, Nonviolent Communication trainer, and, as a good friend of mine calls her, “brain whisperer.” Her live events, online courses, and bestselling books have transformed my coaching work and have helped my clients and me unstuck from many limiting personal and interpersonal patterns. We talk about the neuroscience of blame, guilt, shame, rage, and demonization, the difference between left-hemisphere and right-hemispheric thinking and why it matters for resolving conflict, and how to heal our brains and our relationships with empathy guesses. Sarah’s work has changed my life and my client’s lives, and I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Key Topics Discussed: Transformational Power of Nonviolent Communication (NVC): Sarah shares her personal journey into NVC, including how it helped her overcome emotional barriers with her adopted son. She explains how empathy guesses—linking emotions and needs—can create powerful relational shifts and foster deeper understanding. Empathy in Conflict Resolution: Sarah elaborates on how empathy guesses differ from strategic communication. She highlights how focusing on feelings and needs can resolve conflict more effectively, especially in social justice and movement spaces. Relational vs. Instrumental Brain: We delve into the neurobiology of empathy, examining how the left hemisphere is task-oriented, while the right hemisphere supports relational thinking. Sarah explains how high-stakes situations push us into the instrumental brain, reducing our ability to empathize and connect deeply. Joyful Activism & Releasing Unconscious Contracts: Sarah introduces the concept of “unconscious contracts,” promises we make in childhood to "save the world" at any cost. She encourages joyful activism, where we work from a place of joy and passion rather than burnout and sacrifice, leading to more effective social change. Neurobiology of Demonization in Conflict: Sarah explains the neurobiology of demonization, where our brain's reward system fuels the tendency to other and blame people in conflict. By shifting focus to what we love—like justice and equity—we can channel rage into constructive, healing actions. Healing Trauma with Resonance: Sarah describes the process of healing trauma through resonant language and relational neuroscience. She explains how resonance allows the brain to process trauma and transform it into life experience, helping individuals move beyond their pain. Practical Self-Compassion Tools: For those feeling isolated or lacking support, Sarah offers a practice called “self-warmth,” encouraging listeners to start with one breath of self-compassion, building a foundation of emotional resilience through small moments of self-awareness. Recommended Resources: Books by Sarah Peyton: Your Resonant Self: Guided Meditations and Exercises to Engage Your Brain's Capacity for Healing Your Resonant Self Workbook: From Self-sabotage to Self-Care The Anti-Racist Heart (co-written with Roxy Manning) Other Resources on Nonviolent Communication (NVC):