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August 25, 2025 • 48 mins
The posse returns from their training with the council of gods to see the battle for the mortal plane already unfolding in front of them...
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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
When we last left off, you had completed your training
at the Council of Gods, you had obtained several new levels,
and then you had stepped out of the training grounds
onto the battlefield. This is the third war of the
eight Wild Territories. Out in front of you is literally

(00:38):
every nation you have ever come in contact with, fighting
back the forces of the Great Darkness. And I honestly
probably didn't need to work on what you McCall it.
This fucking Jesus doing wrong wrongness, you know, right finish,

(00:59):
because we are probably just gonna go straight into fucking
Albert Rodeo sen gentle link.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Dumb question level sixteen.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Correct, correct, there's the Albert Rodeo link acceleration required. What
you ain't got that hardware accelery? Motherfucker?

Speaker 2 (01:24):
I want to check they salad.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
It was the Southwestern built different.

Speaker 4 (01:30):
I like the cop but i'd like boiled eggs.

Speaker 5 (01:33):
I see them since I made this stuffed giant pasta shell,
ricotta cheese and spin and ship today.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
So it sounds like to ask reflux, it's take a
couple of dumbs.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Pretty good. Holy hell, there's moving elements.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
There is I.

Speaker 6 (01:56):
Have to be allowed and oh yeah, you do.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
I almost accidentally clicked deny entry Amasa.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Where did we leave off?

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Officially, I just said at the end of training with
the Council of Gods. Oh yes, right, wordle we got
beefed up. You step their portal onto the battlefield. You
see Cliff and all of these other leaders from every
single previous saga leading the charge against the forces of
the Great Darkness. Yeah, okay, yeah, I actually don't think

(02:34):
I need the fog of war at all for this,
because I feel like you should able to see everything.
Oh we have snapping the grid is accurate? Oh yeah,
you will need to name your guy though. Yeahsh it's

(02:55):
so small. It is. It's a large scale battle.

Speaker 6 (02:59):
Is our abilities?

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Gog?

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Why is Cliff's name? Viction by name and edit? The
fond size? Is this? How is this? How you tell
me you have a little upside?

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Well, for some reason, my shit says level thirteen and
she just said level sixteen, so I'm really confused.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yep, yep, yep too, brute.

Speaker 6 (03:18):
That's better.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
That is the only question I need answered, though.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Gotcha you make my how do I make? Oh?

Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yep, it's the word you say? Oh my god, there's
no fix on my blowout today? Wait is it on
this camera? That's a little bit better. I guess you.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
Would blow out, bro wipe your ass.

Speaker 6 (03:44):
He's never done that, mister wrong.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
The day.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
Is that what you meant when I could name my
own character?

Speaker 1 (03:52):
Uh? Yeah, oh Guyeth the Battest Bitch. Sure, that's fine.
I don't give it shit. Okay, little description, y can
I make? Yeah? Blasted gray battlefield, underswirling red black sky skies,
glowing rooms on distant monoliths, cracking with the void energy,

(04:13):
A towering rift screaming open in the air. You hear
distant horns, constant winds, screams cut by the silence of
the dead, thunder like roars from the rift that is
being opened on this magical circle right here, as the
great Darkness minions are essentially forcing a planar rift open

(04:36):
to pandemonium. So this is gonna be broken down into zones.
You can probably kind of see that. How there's like
one zone, you know, two zone, three zone, four zone? Uh?
Oh shit, you know you can't. You shouldn't be able
to see, right. I don't even know if anybody else

(04:59):
saw that shit or not.

Speaker 6 (05:00):
I wasn't paying attention. I didn't see it.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Good for me, an bad for you? Oh fuck heaven,
you grab the wrong thing. For freck you grab Zebra's guy.
Oh okay, you name these since Zach hasn't touched him.

Speaker 6 (05:17):
Yet, sebas Sea Bass, Megan, Megan, Megan thin Gang.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Listen, dude, I'm some on the south side creeks. Who
they really is just the biggest fuck dude.

Speaker 6 (05:30):
I mean, you made him a huge creature.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
I just didn't think about actually.

Speaker 6 (05:38):
Ten feet across is that big enough for a huge creature.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
No, it's a large creature. So with him, it's a
little bit different because he's not necessarily Yeah, he is
in fact huge size, so he's going to be wider
than he is. Like, it's for him. It's not an
even expansion domain expansion. He should be three by three
fifteen feet, but he should be like squished a little bit.

(06:03):
He should be squished to two squares by three squares technically,
but not an Albert Rodeo. I don't think. Ah, so
you just leave them alas all right, good good, good good.
So the first section of this battlefield is you see
soldiers at these falling defenses. There are trenches dug to

(06:28):
basically hold the line, and there are these large fissures
that have been cut through the defenses by the enemy
trebuchets and catapults. They're on fire. The trenches and barricades
are crumbling, so technically they're these craters are like big
enough to hold a person. So these are huge craters,

(06:48):
huge each And as you are chilling. As you get there,
Cliff is sitting in the center trench leading the charge, like,
don't falter, my soldiers, do not let them breach the trenches.

(07:09):
We will push forward. Hey, baby daddy, He turns and
looks at y'all, guys and guy, it's been like three months.
How have you been? I'm shitting my pants right now?

Speaker 6 (07:27):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Or should I say my cod piece?

Speaker 6 (07:34):
I would hope not the cod piece, otherwise you'd be
wearing it backwards.

Speaker 7 (07:38):
Wait, it's coming out in front, pitsing and shouldn't a
damn valiantly held the line for three months awaiting your arrival.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
Get out here, Bayla's God.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
Is there anything you need to know? You would like
to ask, literally, what the fuck is happening? So like
you followed the weird dog thing through the portal? Or
yours of all? Sorry the the cute dog thing. My apologies, babe,
my apologies through the portal, and essentially a couple of

(08:14):
days after that, this magic circle appeared by the coldests,
and we've been beating back their charge every single day
since then.

Speaker 6 (08:25):
God damn.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
We used to have way more land and more men.
Oh but this is what we have now, and there's
help out there, you know, like it's not completely over yet.
We've got friends. You guys have a dragon. That's nice.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
It's got me and I'm tough.

Speaker 8 (08:46):
Of course.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
Of course, who are the two little mushrooms following? Actually huh?
He faints on the battlefield and then comes back to
and I mean scoops up Cliff Junior and second Cliff,
Second Cliff jor. Wow, they have your eyes, babe, And

(09:08):
they just both have the fucking bottle glass white eyes
just sticking out the front of the fucking mushroom stock.
Do you think this is a safe place for our children? Babe?

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Uh, they're gonna blow up, It's fine.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
Oh okay, should I tell them goodbye?

Speaker 2 (09:27):
I'll remake them.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Okay, Oh okay. Is it gonna hurt them? You said no, it.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
Won't hurt They don't really. I mushrooms aren't really like
feeling things.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
You know, you feel things love for you of course.
Oh lord, I'm not gonna think too far into this.
My name is Cliff, and I was never meant to
be a smart man.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Hell yeah, I keep you around.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
Any other questions I turned to Cliff, and other than
the situation, I guess do we have any advantage on
our side at all? So we've been separated kind of
into like four groups. You see, We've had several different
contributions of armies and heroes from around the eight territories

(10:18):
come in and assist us during this battle, so some
of them might still be stuck further up. We just
haven't been able to give them any aid. Balto is
also here.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Balto, Hello, oh go be safe, get away. I love you.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
I was told by miss Lozen that my job was
to lead you into the portal and take you to
Panda Panda Bolonium Pandemoniu. I think that's what she called it.
Handemonyu and he like salutes Cliff and stands really straight,
permission to tower and fear behind every single person, sir,

(10:57):
and Cliff is just kind of like I guess, dude.

Speaker 6 (11:00):
Hey, if Balto dies. I'm killing you a row. Who
knows what's gonna happen to Balto with a gun?

Speaker 1 (11:09):
With a gun? Anything else you want to know before
I orsh you into the next section of this.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
Nope, I'm already to yeat all right.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
As y'all are talking, you hear a war cry shout
out from across the hills, and I need to select.
Here's the word you'll say? Did I not? When you?

(11:38):
When you? When? When you get.

Speaker 6 (11:42):
The words out? Q? I believe in you?

Speaker 2 (11:45):
I don't.

Speaker 6 (11:46):
Hey, all of four?

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Oh these guys roll up?

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Good question? Yeah, where are mushroom warriors?

Speaker 8 (11:58):
Ye?

Speaker 1 (11:59):
Let me? Do you actually do you need tokens for them?

Speaker 6 (12:03):
No?

Speaker 2 (12:03):
Like the ones that we trained.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Oh you don't see them yet?

Speaker 2 (12:07):
Okay, cool, just wondering. Didn't want you to forget about dems.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
No, no, no, no, Like literally, you're gonna see everybody. Don't
worry not you for it. You're gonna see every single person.

Speaker 6 (12:20):
It's gonna be one of those fights.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
Huh it is.

Speaker 6 (12:23):
I really like the effects on this.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
Good job.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
Really to find the perfect ones? Okay, it was beefing,
It was not It wasn't hard to do it just
took time to actually find find the right effects that
spoke to you, modify the ones that I had access
to because I made it. I made this battle map
in Canva, and so like some of the effects that
they have, some animated stuff, but like you either like
recolor it or animate it yourself. And so a lot

(12:51):
of this was animated by myself, which is a static
image that I change. We grab another beer. Thanks.

Speaker 6 (12:57):
I can tell because you can tell when it loops.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yeah, there's not really anything I could do about that.
It's it's really hard to make it seamless and spin forever.
But it's better than a static image, I think, so.

Speaker 6 (13:08):
Yeah, it's cool. It's much more dynamic.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah. So these four shadow gouged souls have appeared and
an acolyte has appeared behind them, and they are going
to make a bum rush at the vattens and an
attempt to attack y'all's station. So I'm ready. They were

(13:34):
opened a beer with a pair of nail clippers. My
fucking nails are manly enough. It's not a twist off.
It's a fucking press on beer. I'm not Yeah, it's
not a myself Listen, dude, you's gotta put that bitch
in the corner table.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yeah, make sure his desk would fall apart.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
My shitty as particleboard table is not. It's literally order
of an inch stick.

Speaker 6 (14:01):
The most, the most horrifying thing I've ever seen is
that I had a buddy who used to open beer
bottles with his teeth.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
If your teeth can handle it, the fuck it you can,
but let's go out, so let's get You would put
the bottle sideways in his mouth and just it was
the most horrifying thing I'd ever seen.

Speaker 6 (14:21):
Sixteen Okay, did you say something, nesh, No, I'm talking
to Krista. Sorry, she's good. She's been sleeping snapping.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
That was like a good time, so bellid I did
the same thing. Yep, dude, I gotta say this right now.
I'm not being a weeb, but old school Disney music.
Do be a bob. I'm like geming out the Molan
right now.

Speaker 6 (14:50):
I was wondering why you were saying singing make a
man out of you earlier.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
Yeah, bro, I was just seeing this song.

Speaker 8 (14:58):
Oh man, he's the same man.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
Shut up, be a dude. You must be manly and
smell good.

Speaker 3 (15:14):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, the guy. You must be short
and a mushroom person.

Speaker 6 (15:22):
Guy, don't even use don't even use the tune. They'll
get you for that too.

Speaker 5 (15:28):
Tell us hell like a guy, you must be short
and a mushroom person. Go oh, I'm taller and a
mushroom person. All is subjective.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Get it together. I already did that ship. We're just
chewing on a pin.

Speaker 6 (15:48):
One t T. I rolled fourteen, bitch oh man met
ship fourteen?

Speaker 3 (16:00):
What's my ni bumps?

Speaker 2 (16:01):
I also rolled a fourteen. I rolled sixteen.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
In Hannah.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
Yeah, I rolled fourteen, and I have plus two initiatives.
I see, I see fucking dumbass Alex.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
What you say? I'm rolling twenty faster Alex faster. Listen,
I'm told this It's okay, great one, I said seventeen.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
No, I don't usually get told this at night.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Exactly hilarious. The podcast is low key been popping off.
I started posting the shorts to I read a thread
for D and D memes, and we're up till like
usually we float around like ten weekly viewers, and we're
currently on like twenty five. Let's cool, and it just
keeps going up every day. I wake up showing up
big fan, all right, Shake sponsor a Shake w hashtag

(16:53):
by the drinks w ad will play do not worry.
No great Alex. You are second in the initiative. Oh
my god, that's so amazing. First on Initiative twenty. There's
a start poles. Oh my god, like a shockwave. Hey, yo,

(17:16):
I need everyone to make me a strength or dexterity
saving throw.

Speaker 6 (17:23):
You never told me how much my my scores go up.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
By the way, Google it, bitch, I don't know what
to tell you. Listen, goog okay Google. I've got seven
windows up and open on my screen right now managing everything.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
I mean, you should just be a little helpful, is
it them?

Speaker 1 (17:35):
Maybe helpful? Maybe like you're right for once? Like a
flashback to like was it our fourth session when we
guess what the fuck.

Speaker 6 (17:44):
Out of you?

Speaker 1 (17:45):
For? Like three? Good time? Those are the best videos ever.
You need to know your proficiency bonus level sixteen? Is
that what you need?

Speaker 2 (17:53):
I already got it.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
I already got it.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
I found it.

Speaker 3 (17:55):
I found it.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
I don't know you.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
I don't need because you I already use tools tonight.

Speaker 6 (18:04):
It's just not my night.

Speaker 8 (18:06):
Helpful, But dude, I got a fifteen, bro, we're rocking
on right now, hey, right?

Speaker 1 (18:11):
If you made a strength check, if you made a
strength saving that you just need to be to fourteen.
If you made a decks, all right, fourteen for strength
or decks. Sorry, baby, I'm living all so there has
been around at Initiative twenty. Every round dark energy is
gonna pulse through the ground and you have to make
a dex or his strength saving throat or fall prone

(18:33):
to its effects.

Speaker 8 (18:34):
Quentin, can I try and fight these dark energy? I
mean you could try to slap before and be.

Speaker 1 (18:41):
Like begone beast, begone foul beastie.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
What if I just get sturdy?

Speaker 1 (18:47):
What are you gonna I would let you make an
Arcana check, But what are you gonna do with raw magic?
With an Arcandon check too?

Speaker 8 (18:54):
I'm not a good glass jar.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
Oh god, counter firefox k wait hatches me there, I'm
making lesson then you're gonna catch it. Yeah, dude, fuck
it if I make a whole fifteen foot wave of
dark energy, bro, I'm just taking a slice off video.

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Speaker 6 (20:07):
A lot.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
Is make me an arcana check and you better roll
real high.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
You got a twenty God, Nons, that's.

Speaker 8 (20:22):
A twenty seven, he said.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Nash, What did you make?

Speaker 6 (20:30):
Just so I have it on records for the Saving Girl?

Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah? Eighteen, okay, okay, nobody is going to fall prey
to this anyone.

Speaker 6 (20:39):
Did you hear my number?

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Big Dog?

Speaker 1 (20:41):
Fourteen? No?

Speaker 2 (20:42):
I said six?

Speaker 7 (20:44):
Oh so you're gonna fall prond to this. Listen, don't
make me get the bag of holding. I'll catch this
magic alex. The wave, the wave pulses pasted, y'all. And
you whip out a glass jar and uncork that's hot.
Uh yeah, And you use your ability to manipulate the

(21:05):
weave to push the energy into the jar. But there
is no way to contain it within the jar because
there's no like essentially, like, if the energy is electricity
and your jar is a battery, there's nothing in the
jar to hold the electricity other than air.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
And so the lid bro the lid bro. Listen, I
have lid amptiness, lid freaking Yeah. If you were like
I dropped a little sapphire jar.

Speaker 6 (21:41):
You're trying to hold water in a wicker basket.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
You can hold that water in that wicker basket.

Speaker 6 (21:50):
We if you can get anything to work exactly.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
I saw this lid and half.

Speaker 8 (21:58):
It was give give me, then, please, please please.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
If you use it in one of your gems, I
will say you can contain a third of this energy
in the job.

Speaker 6 (22:09):
I have a diamond.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
Yeah, I was gonna say, we have like six hundred diamonds.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
If you use a diamond, you can hold the entirety
of the way I'm about to put. No, I need
everyone to check and tell me how any diamonds you'll
actually have, because it's not six hundred, it was a lot.
I have no clue, no moment you may need to
use them all. I was going forward.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
That all right.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
I know we had a bunch.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
I can't think I'm a searching No, no, no.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
I want to say six as a party.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
Oh no, we have way more than six.

Speaker 3 (22:46):
No, no, no, no, no, we had double digits, maybe sixteen.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
I start have a dragon body in that bitch too.

Speaker 6 (22:54):
Yeah, we do.

Speaker 5 (22:59):
In the dragon body, Yo, six diamonds on the dragon
to be a battery.

Speaker 8 (23:05):
Let's go.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
We put all the diamonds on the dragon.

Speaker 8 (23:08):
Listen, I have I have a little seven spells, now bro,
I'm ready to fucking juice up kid.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
Actually this is the best action. Listen.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
It's not to sound.

Speaker 8 (23:18):
Like a like an old school xbox sound as like
inside this back of holding.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
Put a magic circle on the dragon back? Is that possible?

Speaker 1 (23:29):
What? A magic circle on the what.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
On the dragon? Like right on its back? Because it's
so large.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
There's no dragon yet there's no dragon yet.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
This is just a hypothetical question.

Speaker 7 (23:38):
Possibly, yeah, hypothetical and double hypothetical. Thirty thirty diamonds. No way,
thurry diamonds. Baby, that's right. It sounds about right, sounds
right to me.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
We listen.

Speaker 2 (23:49):
We did raid and we got paid by three. By three,
we made and a.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
Half mark the diamond off for his I got twenty nine.

Speaker 6 (24:00):
I'man is entertain.

Speaker 8 (24:04):
Listen, bro, If I can I stick it in the
dragon and make it because stick, I'll shove it up
his ass.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
Wait a second, Wait a second.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Let's just make it through this combat first, before you
get all experimental. Alex has been experimental for a long
There's gonna be plenty of time.

Speaker 8 (24:24):
Listen, dude, I just I just summoned my homies and
they fight. I'm missus fucking make a dragon, bro yo,
the for real.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
For real question before we continue at level sixteen, I
get a new spell for my oath, right, I just
wanted to know if we talked about.

Speaker 8 (24:41):
That or.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
I spilled my dream b.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
Oof of justice palette of five E is it justice?
That's the one I went with. I thought we had
like a homebrewed one for sure. Well, you get when
you're wielding Sylvia, you get a some stuff from a
cleric subplayer, but that's that's it. You still get your
Oath of justice. Ship also have many dead people on

(25:06):
side of this back too many dead heads. You don't
get anything as an Oath of Justice palade until level seventeen.
You had banishing Smite and conjure Vali at that point. Okay.

Speaker 8 (25:17):
Oh also, Quintin, I forgot to fa everybody. No, we
do have an arcane turrent inside this fucking bag too.
I do have that listed.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
Stop remembering things, Stop remembering the lists.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
Three diamonds on the on the turret real quick, Well
the terrence is there.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
Okay, we can stick to batteries of the turret. Alexander,
you have the upkeep your turn quick learning. Didn't Nash
roll high, oh Ship Nash did twenty Yeah, bitch, thanks
for keeping me straight.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
In an alternate fashion, you're a rusty You're a rusty
DM tonight.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
We haven't played in a month and a half.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
Said you're a rusty roll anyting your feelings. You know first,
you don't want to tell me why you.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Know, depending your MC cut out of you, but.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
I know those works. It is Gary, I need glasses,
go gig. I can't go by.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
Red You're mom and Dad's insurance. Still, you can go
get classes.

Speaker 8 (26:20):
They used all the fucking flecks, here's all the flex
feel well.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
You can always just go get your prescription and then
buy a pair office any for like twenty bucks.

Speaker 6 (26:28):
Mm hmm, I do want to see money right now?

Speaker 1 (26:31):
All right, Nash, I'm sorry, you're you have these four
Google bitches running at you guys, and then they have
like kind of a ring leader asque person that is
standing outside of the back.

Speaker 6 (26:42):
All right, I'm running with I'm going to hang on.
I got to read. I haven't read read in a
long time. Alright, it's right, I forgot what my stuff does.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
We're all a little rusty.

Speaker 6 (26:54):
Yeah yeah, for now, I'm just gonna tack the main
guy with my bow. So okay, first roll to hit
is a ten ten hits, no freak?

Speaker 1 (27:06):
Come on? All right, sorry, sorry, I'm wrong, I'm wrong
on and is not it? Okay?

Speaker 6 (27:09):
Okay, okay, one more home more twenty three.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Twenty three, definitely hits twenty three almost double hits. Actually,
let's go, uh damage, she's looking really fucked up.

Speaker 6 (27:22):
You you fine? It way up, and then I'm just
gonna stay where I'm at over here.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, that is my drie.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
Now, Alex is.

Speaker 8 (27:31):
Your go I summon the depths of hell. I point
this bitch and say finger death. Ho which bitch your finger?

Speaker 1 (27:38):
No?

Speaker 8 (27:39):
Wait a minute. By doing that, I was making a
joke about me saying fingers I do have that spill
though death.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
I hardly know her?

Speaker 1 (27:47):
Righty, what's motherfucking We're just gonna do. We're gonna keep
it a little simple. Okay, keep it a little simple.
We're gonna do. I'm waiting for your fucking bullshit to happen.
I'm here, yeah, because you'll be like, oh, let me
board wipe your let me So if can I move

(28:07):
close to this, it's just gonna burn my ass. You
could be closer.

Speaker 8 (28:10):
The flames are for dramatic effect, Okay, so could I
technically you know, like actually, okay, we're just gonna keep
it simple and do what's the fucking ability?

Speaker 1 (28:23):
We'll do? Which one? Which guy's about to die this day?

Speaker 8 (28:25):
Here?

Speaker 2 (28:25):
Correct?

Speaker 6 (28:26):
Little guy?

Speaker 1 (28:27):
All right, we're gonna do a match. Bistle hit that
foward that fool into foolhead? Okay, ato metic hit so
just tell me the other damages. Oh okay, it's not
gonna take much, So I want to do this one
and that one, so one and then two. Okay. The

(28:47):
one is going to be this iss to be four
five damage. She's fucking dead, okay cool. The other one
that's going taking uh, this one's taking ten ban a amy.
I just said that because it was not prepared.

Speaker 6 (29:06):
My bath.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
I'm sorry. All right. These guys are actually like swarm mobs,
so like there's only one token, but each each one
is like three to four of the actual things. Let
me see. So this is just kind of like large
scale combat esque shit. So like every if you do
like half their health, you basically like kill half of
the nice mobs. All right, guy thinking think faster. You've

(29:32):
had three rounds to decide.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
Yeah, get ship on.

Speaker 4 (29:39):
Okay, I am going to well I have to stand
up because I felt right, I'm prone.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
No, Alex captured the entire bolt with the diamond.

Speaker 2 (29:49):
So what okay, just gonna things.

Speaker 4 (29:55):
Yeah, I'm gonna hit this bitch, call it to hit.
Just hits nine points of damage, nice by blood Brooke,
and then can I disengage?

Speaker 1 (30:10):
Sure?

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Okay, that's half my speed I went twenty five.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
So to take a disengage action, you move half your speed.
So how much do space do you have left?

Speaker 2 (30:21):
I can only go five so.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
You can't disengage. If you only have five ft left,
you can move back five feet, but he'll get an
attack of opportunity. All right, anything else? Ah wyatt, you're up.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
So I'm gonna sew. So I'm gonna cast Guardian of Face. Okay,
has a fourth level spell? Okay, oh, one of your
big spells. The lasts eight hours, okay, okay, And so
a large spectral Guardian appears and hovers for the duration
in an unoccupied space of my choice that I can

(30:56):
see within rage, and the Guardian occupies that space and
is into ain't except for a gleaming sword and shield
and blood emblazoned with the symbol of my deity.

Speaker 2 (31:07):
Right.

Speaker 3 (31:09):
Any creature hostile to me that moves to a space
within ten feet of the Guardian for the first time
on a turn must succeed on a dexterity saving throw.
The creature takes twenty radiant damage on a failed save,
or half as much damage on as successful okay, and
then the Guardian vanishes when it deals to total of

(31:29):
sixty ten.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Okay, so place the guardian where you want them.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
Okay, So the guardian, I'm gonna move up. I think
I got too probably measuring tool buttoning in.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
Yeah, the grid is accurate, so feel free to use
the leverage the grid as much as you need to.

Speaker 3 (31:46):
Okay, Can I do I have to start all the
way back here? Can I say that I was like
already up, like.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
You can say that you were somewhere behind this line
right here?

Speaker 3 (31:55):
Okay, So let's just go from here.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
Two. I hear got thirty five feet a movement my
dragon does? Are you writing zebra? Yes? Okay, so you're
a winged lizard, buffalo winged lizard.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
Buffalo winged lizard. So we're gonna go right here. And
then my guardian chi ching right here, yeah, following me
as he should.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
Yeah. And so it's when they start their turn right.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
Ten feet that's ten feet. Let's see when is it
within ten feet of the guardian for the first time
on a turn?

Speaker 1 (32:37):
Okay? So yeah, now they would take damage I'm assuming yes, Okay,
they get you said my past saving throw. It was
a amateurling that my dice saving throw fail.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
Twenty past ten.

Speaker 1 (32:54):
Then you know what to pass.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Oh, I don't know what they need to pass?

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (32:59):
Damage wise? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (33:00):
What do they need to beat? Probably your spell saved?

Speaker 2 (33:03):
You see probably it doesn't say actually, so.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
A plus your prefersiency score plus your chrisma modifier bonus
eighty eight plus five eight plus five plus Yeah, what's
your chrismal modifier? Uh?

Speaker 2 (33:22):
Two so fifteen plus?

Speaker 1 (33:25):
Yeah? Yeah, first one fails, they both fail? Cool twenty namage.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
You said yes each All.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Right, they're looking pretty fucked up themselves. Cool.

Speaker 3 (33:38):
And then this third one, I'm just gonna shoot with
my gun as my bonus action. Okay, he's not really
a part of combat right now. Okay, yeah, go for it.
So to hit, get ahead of the pace?

Speaker 2 (33:53):
Uh does a fourteen hit?

Speaker 1 (33:56):
It does?

Speaker 6 (33:57):
Cool?

Speaker 2 (33:58):
No?

Speaker 1 (34:00):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Ten?

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yeah hurts him a little bit, all right? That or
is that Zebra do anything?

Speaker 6 (34:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (34:10):
Yeah, Zebra is going to double smashed this.

Speaker 3 (34:14):
Gay fourteen and two fourteen hits?

Speaker 6 (34:22):
Cool?

Speaker 2 (34:23):
Do you go.

Speaker 3 (34:25):
Ten damage?

Speaker 1 (34:27):
You're pay dead? Wait? Wow, it's like you guys like
went off and trained and got really strong. It's crazy. Whoa,
It's gonna take it to you.

Speaker 6 (34:43):
All right, So astride my great dragon. Ye who has
for this summoning instance is cold because it gets an
elephant every time I summon him. Gonna go around this way?
Well I'm gonna lie.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
Yeah, let's see.

Speaker 6 (35:02):
Let me just make sure of something real quick.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
Where is it there? It is?

Speaker 6 (35:06):
That's an action, that's a bonus actually? Okay, so oof
what sorry?

Speaker 1 (35:13):
Dogs? Oh?

Speaker 6 (35:15):
I thought you said oof like something happened. I was like, oh, oh,
what'd you do this time?

Speaker 2 (35:18):
Now?

Speaker 1 (35:18):
They probably just laid his hands unto the table.

Speaker 6 (35:21):
Yeah, it's my bad, all right. So what I am
going to do is number four right here, this big
old group I am going to have. Can I still
use my extra attack if I use my action for
something other than attacking?

Speaker 1 (35:42):
Now, I think it has to be both attacks or
and something else.

Speaker 6 (35:44):
Okay, I figured it. I figured I just want to
make sure. So I am going to real quick fire
a shot into the crowd. Okay, over here, so let's see,
just make sure gonna hit a twelve. Just have to
make it twelve to hit. Just making sure my stats

(36:06):
don't want to fuck this up.

Speaker 1 (36:08):
Kind of like again, does a bucket of water at
a crowd of people? Like you're probably gonna hit something
does a twenty four hit, Yeah, double hits.

Speaker 6 (36:18):
Basically all right, gonna take a shot, take one down,
I assume, Uh yeah, just making sure I have the
right dice. Not have the right dice I thought I did.
Must have pulled out the wrong ones while I was
grabbing there it is. First hit is seventeen seventeen damage

(36:39):
seventeen going to use Whut's infuse strike stability where let's see, yep,
a few strikes. If I hit a target with a
weapon attack, if you strike increases the damage by giving
it an extra D six of whatever damage. The draconic
essence is, so a D six of cold damage and

(37:02):
extra one cold damage.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
Hey, one's better than none.

Speaker 6 (37:06):
Yeah, and I am also going to take another use
my exture attack to take another pot shot into the crowd. Yep,
I don't know why I roll damage does a twenty
six hit? Yes, now I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Roll damage, so goofy funny of you to even ask.

Speaker 6 (37:26):
Let's see thirteen.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
Yeah, so that group's dead, demolished, bye bye.

Speaker 6 (37:34):
And do I what's this? What's this flight speed? Let
me double check.

Speaker 1 (37:40):
Them a lot. If I had to guess, I mean,
he is kind of a huge ass dragon.

Speaker 10 (37:46):
Yeah, speed night where slight ba flying speed of boni
thing scale.

Speaker 6 (37:57):
So so I'm gonna make sure remind me how flight
speed is calculated, because sometimes it confuses the hell out
of me.

Speaker 1 (38:05):
We're kind of just using the adult word dragon. I'm
pretty sure or like to answer those kind of questions.

Speaker 6 (38:10):
Dragon's fury when you your dranke it girls banks the
flying Speople to its walking.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
Speed and now eighty feet eighty feet Yeah, that's your
flight right, all right?

Speaker 6 (38:21):
So do I have enough flight to reach the next
group over here by guy? Yeah, i'd say, so, I'm
gonna do that, and I'm gonna have would say, snap
one up or snap some up, however many he can
get in that big old iconic mall.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
There's only like one or two left. So yeah, all right,
so good, good chance of you finishing this group right here.

Speaker 6 (38:42):
You would think.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
So, yeah, you're all asked.

Speaker 6 (38:47):
Yeah, let me let me just double check, let me.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Make sure again. They just have to be to twelve
damn it.

Speaker 11 (38:54):
Yeah right, No, they don't have a he bit wide,
he bit wide. God damn that sucked. That was a
horrible bite.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
Ye air real good. Yeah, gotta bring dude.

Speaker 6 (39:08):
He gave him a little bit of a spook, but
he just kind of went snapped right above their heads.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
Yep, Califf surges forward. Clin is going to wielding the
ember Heart, is going to make an attack. He misses,
but thankfully he's a fighter, so he has multiple attacks
barely hits. Holy shit, Cliff, the best day to be fair.

(39:33):
He's been fighting for a hot minute. I'm gonna do
seven damage, which is enough to finish this group off.
Balto is going to rush forward, standing in Cliff's shadow.
Do you stay safe? And that is going to bring
us back to Initiative twenty an Initiative twenty Everyone roll.

(39:55):
Everyone needs to roll.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
Damn got it?

Speaker 6 (39:59):
Sixteen seventeen modifiers to strength modifier or your strength modifiers
when you picked nineteen?

Speaker 1 (40:10):
Yeah, just let know if you failed the fourteen threshold.

Speaker 6 (40:13):
I failed a fourteen again. God, I'm rolling like shit tonight.

Speaker 2 (40:18):
Alex, you got another jar.

Speaker 1 (40:21):
Qugs you're upstairs. But what did he say?

Speaker 2 (40:27):
WHOA?

Speaker 1 (40:28):
All right? So if you failed, you're going to fall
prone and take fifteen points of damage. Not the pickles.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
They're showing their chips. I had to show my chips.
Oh you have peach oranges snakes.

Speaker 6 (40:47):
Fifteen fifteen points of damage if you failed, I wasn't
paying attention, all right.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
And six more of these groups of undead raised from
the ground and inhabit the zone and begin advance and sing.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
And he's stealing your thing, belos.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
And as they do, you hear shouting from the north
barracks like I didn't bring enough cigarettes today. You know
what I'm saying. And you hear the sound of a
gatling gun word alife, as bullets get mowing down undead

(41:24):
after undead. As Foreman Thorn takes the field and the charge.
He looks out to y'all and says, I don't know
what you're sticking around for. We don't need no help.
Just firing into these crowds of undead. We're boiled, snatches

(41:46):
a gren ae off his belt and pulls the pin
with his tooth, throws straight out, body parts go flying,
and he is essentially taking command of Cliff's role in
the trenches and has began pushing back the undead so
that y'all can advance forward. Crazy big fan of Thorn, Dude,

(42:09):
what a character.

Speaker 5 (42:11):
I'm so glad we decided to save him.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
And as be dead right now, Cliff is going to
take the opportunity to advance. Y'all go ahead and move
yourself up wherever you want to. This line the Guardian
once you have.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
It down, I don't know, it doesn't specify, so I'm assuming, yes.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
If it doesn't specify, I'm assuming No, what.

Speaker 6 (42:37):
Do you mean?

Speaker 1 (42:37):
So maybe breathe through.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
I'm assuming I can't move because I'm prone.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
No Cliff helps you up. You're good.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
I was gonna say, I'm just have frick fucking crypto.

Speaker 1 (42:47):
My ass's yeah. So this zone is the no man's
land of the battlefield, and there's ash coated ground with
black bones that have been perverted into these like bramble
and tree structures on the battlefield. So imagine like you know,
Sleeping Beauty, where like the thorn bushes appear, except its

(43:10):
bones instead of like plants mouse tracks. And there are
these shadow pockets, puddles I would say, even that shimmer
with void magic. And that's what these little ink blots
are on the ground. And there are another four of
these dudes here, and then there is a tribute Sha

(43:33):
and the tribute Shaw. I'll roll you see what side
is sure? Make you check?

Speaker 8 (43:39):
Is that magic wells think it has evil. It was
necromantic ship, which means I can that advantage.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Okay, well, I can't just tell you if something is
magic unless you cast attack magic. But you can roll
in our canna check and I'll tell you the disease
going around this thing in a circle. There's no disease.
Why is a circle going around it? It's like a
special effect to make it look cooler. It is a
fucking pole. It's well, they're obelisks. If you look at

(44:07):
the shadows. If you want at the shadows, Yeah, what
doal we the tormentor and so this is they're doing
something and then this is like the magic, the visual
magic manifestation that you see from them doing. There, we're
rolling our can on it. We fucking we're just we're
just rolling this ship. You're ready to quit because you

(44:28):
read for give me what a twenty five?

Speaker 6 (44:30):
Smacking your fucking lips like I'm bad, bitch, I'm sad.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
I'm also hungry.

Speaker 8 (44:38):
Yeah, I'm getting I'm like, am I getting her snacking
out of the out of the back of holding it?
And I'm like, yo, that tower right there does and
does what put on the list? Would you roll twenty five,
twenty five. So there are these three obelisks, and you
can see that they are essentially obviously they're magical because

(44:58):
you know there's magic's rolling around them. They are what
is powering the undead force on this battlefield.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
Can't we just do like a you know, a good
old manipulate dirt and then that ship breaks. They're floating
in the sky actually, But.

Speaker 8 (45:12):
Can we technically, like you know, turn the catapults towards
them and hit them with the catapults? Sure, you could
definitely try that. Is there bad gass of the catapults?

Speaker 1 (45:22):
There's definitely there's a dude manning you know, there's like
a skeleton crew manning the catapult, but not anyone of consequence,
no bad you could you could try. I mean the
stab block of the catapult is basically includes the people
running it.

Speaker 6 (45:37):
Well, you have to whack one out of the air,
try fullw ways away. I mean not yet.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
Can I cast magic circle.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
On one and then I'll just count it as undead
and then it dispurshes all the magic.

Speaker 8 (45:54):
It's actual hilarious word that's killed the magic.

Speaker 1 (46:01):
By bactcheck because if it has a stab block, it's
a creature correct it They technically well they're not creatures,
but they do have stab block, and everything technically has
a stablock. So if it's stap block, then it If
I cast magic circle on it, it will protect anything outside
the circle and keep it trapped.

Speaker 3 (46:21):
In the circle, so it will be useless.

Speaker 1 (46:24):
Shit and face everything out of the circle.

Speaker 3 (46:30):
It also protects anything outside the circle if it's inside
the circle.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
Targets within the cylinder can't be charmed, frightened, or possessed
by the creature. Oh. When you cast the spell, you
can ect to cause the magic to operate in the
reverse direction, preventing a creature of the specified type from
leaving the cylinder and protecting targets outside of it. God damn.
I would say that you could totally cast this nice
and it would stop more undead from joining the battle.

(46:55):
Less undead from joining the battle. Well yeah, because there's
still two more. Yeah yeah, But that would essentially fucking
stop a whole obelisk from working. As long as you
had that spell running, How long does it last? I
don't have a pulled up do you have a I
already close it? Let me ask your guardian spell? Is
that concentration.

Speaker 3 (47:14):
Guardian spell is conjuration.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
Okay, but does it require concentration?

Speaker 2 (47:21):
And no, it doesn't say it does.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
What's the spell? Phone this guardian?

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Guardian of faith?

Speaker 3 (47:29):
Casting time? When action range thirty feet components?

Speaker 1 (47:33):
Brother, what that means? How the fuck does that not
require concentration? It's an eight hour spell?

Speaker 6 (47:39):
Yeah, I have an orbit.

Speaker 1 (47:41):
You can touch it makes it. We can do it instantly.

Speaker 3 (47:43):
Yo, I should add a diamond to it, make it
even stronger.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
I just start chucking diamonds. Magnic circle is also not
a concentration spell. What the fuck is going on here?
We'll ask an hour built different. It requires holy water
or powdered silver and iron worth at least one hundred points,
which the spell consumes. So you know what that means.

(48:10):
You got to spend one hundred gold points to stick
cast it?

Speaker 5 (48:13):
Okay, I have like twelve hundred so oh no.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
Can't get gig away with them.

Speaker 2 (48:22):
It's not my turn.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
Those are all wait, yeah, we would be under gold. Yeah,
be offering to help him pay for the spell?

Speaker 2 (48:29):
No fuck now, I'm just saying he's a broke boy.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
Eleven fifteen is when I'm at the way.

Speaker 6 (48:35):
I don't have the money to catch my spells.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
Are you want some gold koy Yeah? I don't won't
pay him
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