Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wild space, the final Frontier. These are the voyages of
the starship USS Horizon's Edge, It's unending mission to explore
strange new worlds, to seek out new life and lost gods,
to boldly venture into the depths of the astral Sea
where no one has gone before.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I scuttle my way down the corridor trying to see
anything of interest.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
I'm gonna set you on the So, is there potentially
like some sort of warp core or like space gem
or like something you know that.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
Is this right here?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Is this cut off like another door? Or is this
where like ship meets rock?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Where right here this is another door? Well? Yeah, Bruh
does have a good point about this. Yeah, this is
your warp drive right here.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Okay, is there anything valuable that I could take as
materials for certain things or anything I could chuck in
Sammy's belly up there? You know of our ship? No,
this is a This isn't our ship. This is their ship.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
There is the warp court itself, but it is ridiculously
heavy as it is made out of dark matter, and
you will not be able to lift it yourself.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Okay, can I robot lift it?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
It probably takes like a small scale tractor beam to be.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Us tractor beam that he has, No, he doesn't have that.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
There's our ship, but.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
It's not here. I didn't include. Let's do the next star.
Oh look at that, it's a construct. Huh, it's sam okay,
I didn't see that the first time around. Here's your ship?
Do you or doctor? All? Right? Time to reveal the
(01:57):
next section of the ship.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
Is our lady with us? Or she keeping walk yet?
Speaker 4 (02:03):
You just it's just gonna open up to a room
with a whole bunch of dead goblins.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Ah, are you like reading my notes or something?
Speaker 5 (02:12):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Well, you know, I assume they all died in their bed, right.
This is where I'm going to pour myself right off. Yeah,
don't look at these words, you know. You guys don't
need to know this place is. Just know that I'm
taking care of it.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Launch I know, send me out, I mean.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
Fit perfectly.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Question. Uh so if we go into the drone the
drone launch tubes, wouldn't it kind of like tell us
what their mission was? Asably?
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Is this the edge of the room up here?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Yep?
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Or is there a little bit more of this cut
off by this line?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
He said, let me fix that for you.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Chief.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
There you go. That's all you get for free?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Okay, how much more do I get for a five dollars?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Wow?
Speaker 5 (03:03):
You get the whole thing, the garbage, the goblin. At
least charge twenty genies. I'm rolling to loot.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Okay, everybody makes I would also.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Roll to loot. I mean, no one else is in.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Here but us. I don't know they. I'm great.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Can I roll a perception to just look around? I'm
not in the cargo bay with them, I'm just looking
around in the area.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
You sure can, damn it.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
Sixteen.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Let's see they rolled a four. I gotcha. I haven't
rolled high except for one d twenties.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
That's a sixteen?
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Can I roll for Samuel?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
No?
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Yeah, good twy?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Mechanically mechanically he is a pet.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Pets can sniff.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
His AI for that.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, who do you think you are?
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Your samee turns around? Who the fuck you call us? Simple?
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Cuh? All right, let's do the looters first. So this
is a goblin ship. There are goblin things on here.
So there are shiny objects that don't actually hold any
real value.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Space magpie is heard.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
There are sticks, There is rope. Nice, there is a
very small stash of credits for that is used for
I guess I do have to have currency, don't I? Yeah,
all right, there's some credits, some starf some some some
sun Fleet credits, Schalactic credits. Nice. There is roughly cerial credits,
(04:42):
two hundred credits.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
I just hand them all to Danny, and I.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Don't know what else would you want.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
I would like to find a rock.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah, that plenty of rocks here.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
I take the rocks that I find and I give
them to Blink perfect, perfect, thank you.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
I'm I also take all the other crap that was there,
the sticks, the rope.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Okay, yep, I figured she won all that. Are you
able to carry it?
Speaker 5 (05:09):
Yeah? So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna take
all the sticks. What was the first thing you said?
Shiny things?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Shiny things, and invaluable are non valuable shiny things.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
So all the shiny things are going in my pockets.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
And then I'm taking all the sticks and I'm tying
them together and I'm making a backpack stick.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Back Okay, cool, Corey with that roll, you luckily have
just saved yourself, oh from no trap. Ay, surprise round.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Me, grab my pin, I scuttle and I sense danger.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
All right, right, so Vulnat gets back first, and then
it will be the uh so, as I guess you
could know what these are now, Yeah, these are void scavers.
So a scaver is exactly as Alex surmised, it is
a space shark. And they come in different sizes. Jesus
(06:20):
the the one is a gray skaver, but that is
just a little too much of a small fry for this.
So I created one, and this is the void scaver.
And yeah, it's it's going to eat you now.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
Oh so how big are they?
Speaker 4 (06:37):
Thing?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Not like great white size, probably five feet in length,
five to six feet length.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Are any of them close enough for me to run
up and punch its teeth out its mouth?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Yes? I think they mostly all are.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, which one is the easiest access? Are they all
hiding or something?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
No, So the doors are open. These two are kind
of peeking out through the doorway. This one's peaking out
through the doorway, but they're not like covered technically. And
then this one is kind of like in the open room.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Okay, I'm gonna run to the one in the open room. Yeah,
how did.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
You do that? Like with the with the measuring tape thing.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
So if you on the right right there is the
measuring tool, and then if you click the little person
that's up at the top of your menu, you can
actually click your icon and drag it.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Okay, so it's about twenty feet too.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
What I like to do is check and then if
it's good, I'll switch back to the movement tool and
then like move it. So I'll run up.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I'll run up to this boy right here, okay, and
let's see, I'm going to punch the teeth out his mouth.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Punch the teeth out of his mouth, go ahead and try.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
Actually, no, I'm gonna going to shank him with my spear.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Okay. Okay, so let's see. It's not very open handed
of you. But let's see plus.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Does a twenty three hit it does?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Believe it or not?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
All right, So see I like it ran away.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
My dice ran away.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
It's super tragic.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Okay, let's reroll that with a different dice.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
It fell on the floor.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Okay, so that's this plus my dex modifier. So nine
damage on the spear. Okay, So I'm gonna shunk with
the spear. After that, I am going to let's see
I know that I have something. See what's it called?
Speaker 5 (08:43):
Again? I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I'm trying to remember, okay, Yeah, I just want to
make sure I was doing this right. So after I've attacked,
I'm gonna activate as I'm gonna spend a key for
fury of blows okay, and I'm going to hit him
twice on armed and I have to roll. Do I
have to roll like to hit on those or do
(09:05):
they hit it on actly?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
I believe you have to roll. I believe spinning the
key just gives you the ability.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
For each one, or just making sure first one plus
the first one is also a twenty three okay, that
hits it is a D six that's ten damage okay,
and for the second hit wait, do I hold on?
Does my flurry of blows gain my DEX modifier?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Yeah, as long as your un armed strikes do?
Speaker 5 (09:34):
Yeah, because that's I'm doing the two unarmed strikes.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Then yeah, I'm trying to remember if it gets the
DEX modifier.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
I can't remember.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Let me normal punch get a DEX modifier.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Yes, if I just randomly hit something with my fist,
I'm trying to remember if like flurry of blows gets it.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Then it does. Yes, you can use I'm sure okay, yeah, sorry,
I was just reading something.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Okay, so where was I?
Speaker 6 (10:00):
So?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
So like the first one on Stark was ten yep,
and this is the second one and.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
You added your modifiers.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
No, that's that's that's the damage in total. Okay, it
hit like that was a damage in total. This one
is to hit. It does a seventeen hit it does
all right, So rolling damage for this one as well,
this is seven damage okay, cool, so that's nine plus
ten plus seven, so that's twenty six.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Yep. You have wounded the shark pretty well. It's not
running yet though.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Did I knock some teeth out of its mouth?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
You did?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Then I feel accomplished. I shout to the others. Be ready,
void skaters.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It is now going to be every single sharks turn.
Oh boy. So we're gonna start with the one in
front of you. It is going to make two bite
attacks does a thirteen hit, No, it does a twenty
three hit. Yes, okay, that is ten points of damage.
(11:10):
And go ahead and make me a constitution saving throw
to shine. Okay, you pass. You will not take any
additional damage. That is shark two, who is going to
come up behind you, similar.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Story and try and take a nibble out of me, Try.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
And take a nibble out of the bug. That is.
Neither of those are going to hit though, and then
this one is going to start shambling this way, and
this one is going to do likewise.
Speaker 5 (11:43):
Are the Are the sharks just floating?
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (11:46):
They have a hover ability right, and they.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Can easily propel themselves through space since there's no atmosphere
in here.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Correct, G does a already twenty hit? I'm assuming yes? Okay,
second attack mists, so that is a billing to be
uh thirteen points of damage. Go ahead and make me
a constitution saving throw. I haven't got a above a
(12:16):
ten because for once you'll get there. Just stick the
dice and dice jail for a little bit. Oh wait,
you're rolling online. I don't know. Just pray cool. That
is now going to be the rest of y'all's turns.
So let's go and roll initiative for the rest for
the other three of you.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
I'm still stealth.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Okay, I'm gonna roll initiative for uh, you're security officer.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
I wrote a one raw.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I actually have a full as step block for her.
I'm not using this this dice roller no more.
Speaker 7 (12:49):
So valid, you're not using what I just rolled a
fucking one four two four seven one four?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
All right, you gott a what one? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Look, I'm I was gonna sneak attack in, but I'm
gonna My plan is just to go before Corey if
you want to put me in.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Okay, and Danny I rote a one.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Okay, so I will go. I get Samuel, will go.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Last, cool, cool, cool. I will go.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
Second to last.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Technically, Blink will go last since she's gonna hold her turn.
But yes, oh yeah, So we're gonna start with your
security officer and she's gonna run up and be like,
oh fuck no, you're not touching these fucking instants. If
they die on my watch, I'm never gonna hear the
fucking end of it. And she is going to attack
with her phaser that is a Jesus fucking at Christ
(13:49):
twenty five to hit Jesus four okay, six points of
damage on this guy. So let me go ahead and
do this quick lest we getting confused. Yeah, go the
attack three and deal six damage and then it is
(14:10):
going to be g and Danny both.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
World once so goddamn it.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Cool, let's do G first. Yeah, that's fine. So what
are you doing Alex and I turn my bad? Okay? Yeah,
so what I'm going to do? How far away is
I'm shocking grasp for this fool? Yeah? So that is.
Speaker 8 (14:36):
I don't think that's technically a touch attack.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, in mind he had to make a melee attack
against target. You have evangel or a tackle if the
target's wearing armor made of metal.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Bro, We're reading the exact same ship.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Me and you.
Speaker 4 (14:53):
I was reading that at like literally word for word.
We were exactly what that's so.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
Actually I was like trying to get my spells in
order before we.
Speaker 6 (15:05):
Started, okay. So I was spell attack bonus for plus
six huh. Okay, so then I would use that's melee.
So kind of don't really know.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Do I need to do D twenty plus six. I'm
looking it up. I'm so stupid.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
I could have made another attack on my turn.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Super tragic make a melee spell attack, so use your
spell attack bonus. Okay, So are you spell a tap bonus? Yes?
Speaker 7 (15:33):
Okay, so let's do well D twenty eighteen that hits
okay and plus city Yeah you already got the bullshit anyways,
that would be twelve damage twelve two D eight okay,
and I don't think you get any bonuses on that,
(15:54):
so haul damage.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
On that does he have? Are they wear at a
metal or not or something? Nope? Okay, all right, Danny
dark Star if that is your.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
It is so it'll be his real name.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Anyway, I'm going.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
There we go.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
I'm gonna pop out right here, okay, And I'm going
to hit this one yep, right here, and I'm gonna use.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Where is it at? Where'd it go?
Speaker 4 (16:31):
But I got a lot of stuff.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I'm gonna use booming blade okay. So I'm gonna brandish
my long scort, I guess, in this case my fucking
light sword whatever you wanna call.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
It, energy saber, energy saber.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
I'm gonna brandish the weapon and then make a melee
attack okay, to one creature within five feet of you.
On hit, the target suffers the weapons tack normal effects,
and then becomes sheathed and booming energy until the start
of my next turn. If the target willingly moves five
feet or more before then, the target takes one D
(17:11):
eight thunder damage.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Gotcha? So well, the skaters kind of boxed in. Yeah,
they are pretty stupid though, Like their first instinct is
to just go after like the quickest feet meal. So
like there is like a universe where this thing moves
without realizing what's gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Okay, No, I mean I meant like it doesn't really
have to move. It's got two enemies on either side
of it.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
That's true.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
I mean maybe I just double.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
At tag it. I mean, you get two attacks. It's
a cantrip. It's not.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
It's not it says, oh don't heart not if it
wastes it, that's exactly.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Okay, So that's fine, So make that attack.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
I'm gonna C twenty.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Come getter like a streamer. Well that's the A fourteen
hit it does.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
It just hits cool, let's see. And then what is
it when it's versatile?
Speaker 1 (18:12):
If it is versatile, I do believe that means you
can hold it in two hands, two hand.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Yeah, so it's gonna do one deep tint.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Versatile means or two handed your toy do that?
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (18:24):
Nice?
Speaker 4 (18:25):
And then plus one so it's gonna do nine damage
of regular damage. I suppose, or I guess it would
be slashy damage, and are we doing force damage for
those two?
Speaker 1 (18:38):
For damage or stamage? So you leap from the room,
ignite your energy saber, slice the shark across its head,
and then what is Samuel doing? All right?
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Samuel?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Look short, mister frudo. This is not the right.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
This is a homlecular construct.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
If I take one more steps, I'll be the forest
I've ever been away from home, Samuel ship, I watched
Lord of the Rings anytime.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
I may not be able to carry the ring for you, mister, but.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
I, oh shit, this isn't might either.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
I can't carry it for you, but I can't carry
you voice and starts.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Just absolute unit of a hobbit.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Like we all wish we had a friend in our life,
like Samwise gamgee.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Yeah, run, Cody's kind of like that. But I don't
think Cody could lift me.
Speaker 4 (19:43):
Probably not, would he try? He would try?
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Then that's all that matters.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
As a force empowered rent okay whatever that mainly whip
an attack. He gets my spell attack modifier one target
that I can see, one D eight plus proficiency book
damage my proficiency being intelligence.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Nope, your efficiency score? Where's it?
Speaker 5 (20:18):
Oh? Okay?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Damn that's high.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Oh no, that's it should be plus three.
Speaker 4 (20:23):
There we go, I got I got, I got it.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah it is yep.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
I looked at passive perception instead of proficiency.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Definitely not it.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Oh yeah, yeah, I was like pen, I was like,
what anyway for.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
Me?
Speaker 4 (20:38):
He's gonna roll for that, So we're gonna do this.
Plus six would be fourteen again.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
It's then his damage this eight eight damage, all.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Right, so he's just gonna stand over him and fucking
fucking hammer fisted from the top.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
That is blinkture, I cast you down? Has anyone else
seen that? By the way, the forty K like game.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, I have. Oh my god, you're gonna win.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
I'm gonna sneak attack and then I'm gonna double blink them.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Okay, what is she used to say? Double dink?
Speaker 5 (21:29):
And that was the double blink. That's the double blink,
blink blink.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
I missed this goddamn character.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
Does a fifteen hit?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
It does?
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Cool?
Speaker 5 (21:42):
I didn't mm hmm. And that's gonna be forty six
of dammit. It sure is twenty points of damage on
I guess I should tell you which guy emitting yes
probably would be effective. Number three, Okay, and then I
I'm gonna hit him with that. I'm gonna roll for
that second blink uh huh it is I'm assuming a
(22:08):
ten does.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Not hit unfortunately does not.
Speaker 5 (22:11):
Okay, I'm happy with twenty the damage.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Okay, that is actually going to be enough to finish
number three.
Speaker 5 (22:17):
Nice, I'm slicing him in head.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yeah, so blink jumps from around the corner. Knee slides
start ripping down the length of this space shark and
all of the guts and trash it's eating just rain down.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
So does it just look like a regular old shark
floating in space or does it look funky?
Speaker 1 (22:37):
It kind of looks like just a regular shark. Handa
pulled up a picture of a minute ago.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Oh Sam looks down?
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Why not do it? Lloyds ga look up, Gray s
gaver it's a little closer to what they look like.
They kind of look like cyclop sharks. Ski.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
I wouldn't even call that a shark, which means like
some kind of viper fish.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Anyways. Yeah, you successfully have sliced the belly open and
you can collect it stratch if you.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Wish trash what you say that word? And dank and
blank suddenly gets super excited. You can hear like her
her native tongue over the translator. It's just like.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
If you speak too loud, it sounds like the uh
the collar from up what translates the dog's voice, so
you can still hear the barking. That's gonna bring us
back to the top of the initiative, NAC, What are
you doing?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Okay, So I'm going to two hand my spear this
time because I'm not stupid to promise. I'm gonna stab
the one I had knocked its teeth out.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
See that is a does a sixteen hit?
Speaker 1 (23:52):
It does? All right? Let's see D eight.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
Plus so ten damage?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Ten damage? Nice? Nice?
Speaker 5 (24:05):
Is it dead?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yet he looks super fucked up?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Then as a bonus action, I'm going I'm gonna use
my bonus action to punch his lights out one more time. Okay,
once again? Does a sixteen hit?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
It does? All right?
Speaker 5 (24:19):
You've never believed a six damage.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Six damage is enough? How would you like to kill
this shark?
Speaker 5 (24:26):
I punch its eye out, the singular eye?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Yeah, no, I have stabbed it in the body, and
I pull reel my fist back, clench my three fingers,
and you just and you ever seen like an in
doom like do maternal when doomslayer like punches the eye
out the cocko demon.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
It's like that. Don't blieve like that?
Speaker 2 (24:50):
And I just reel my fistback. I then use my
extra attack to reel around and to hand my spear
into the other into number two.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Okay, we really do just have a bunch of Marshall
people in this one. Except for last time, it was all.
This time, it's all.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Marshals spellcasters and a gunman does a seventeen hit?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
It does? They all have an a fourteen?
Speaker 5 (25:18):
Okay, that is eleven damage?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Nice, he was fresh, so he's not.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Yeah, no, he's hurting, but not like hurting for someting.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yeah, all right, that's gonna move us along to the chart.
That is, he's going to attack you neck and you're
the only person he can really see. That is a
twenty one to hit main that is only going to
be five damage this time though, And then hold on, yep, let.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
Me check something real quick.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
How long are these five to six feet scary?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
I want to make sure of something. I mean, I'm
sorry about this. I'm not used to playing a monk.
I just want to make sure I'm doing this right?
Speaker 4 (26:08):
You good?
Speaker 1 (26:09):
This is the pilot episode where we learn our characters
just as much as other people. It took Zact several
sessions to get his pistol combo down for real.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
I like to think for time in learning how to
play this guy before we begin.
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Speaker 1 (27:03):
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Speaker 5 (27:16):
At you got whying down to T Now you do
that shit quick.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
No. Yeah, he's like a triple D twenty rolls, a
triple triple double D ten rolls.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
I just copy and paste off of a note sheet
that I use.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Hey, no complaints here, it works.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
This is for this combo. This is for the combo
we love.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
We love a short cut.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Are you trying to figure out the monk thing that
lets you read damage? No, not that I was making
sure about something I don't think. I don't think I
have it. Okay, so now I continue.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
What are you looking for?
Speaker 5 (27:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I thought I had an ability like I can do
a reaction when I'm hit with something, but like range attacks.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Oh, it is arrange attacks. But these aren't rangees in Maine.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
Yeah, I know, I know, I was.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I was trading it. Go SHARKI four is going to
attack G again and misses both attacks unless A nine
hits you. Cool, that is now going to be your
friendly security officer's turn. She's gonna make another pistol attack.
Believe it or not. That is a.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
Which one which one is she attacking?
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Oh okay, yeah, this one, he's like nineteen to hit,
which does hit? So that is five foots damage.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
She goes sideways for this one.
Speaker 8 (28:45):
Yeah, I had her with I hit that thing with
my taser earlier. I was like, just turn up a tennis.
Speaker 5 (28:57):
It's I rolls back.
Speaker 10 (28:58):
To it's gonna bring us to ge suck. Yeah, well
you're right out. Another one, all right, Another.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
One, another one.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
That's all right, So that's gonna be eighteen plus six.
I don't like that one. That one sucks that hits.
I don't know what that is. We're gonna roll damage again.
It's twenty four oh all right, so that's gonna.
Speaker 5 (29:23):
Be five six on eight on ten eleven, twelve, thirteen, thirteen.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Thirteen points of damage. Good. I miss actually that that
kills it. So you grab a hold of this. Do
you want to bitch or do you want to grab that?
I'm as like, and it just like splatters across the threshold.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Fuck around. Found out that's right. Fish dip anyone, fish dip. Basically,
that is going to be Danny Darkstar's turn. I feel
like I could say your whole because you're the only
one with the last name.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Damn got him.
Speaker 5 (30:04):
She may have a last never to know is.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
It blanked any relation to Michael morning It's dark Star,
not morning Star. I meant like a never mind like Satan.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I meant like an enemy because let's face it, Michael morning.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Star was a dick. I don't know who he is.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
He was a bad guy from ben Ten.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
I see. I am not up to date on the
ben Ten. I apologize.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
No, I get like like second series. I believe like
back in the day never mind.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I am familiar with Benen's game though, I just want
to put that out there. I'm familiar with the game.
I just have not watched the game.
Speaker 5 (30:42):
Doesn't have a game No.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
I mean like it's slang, it's slank.
Speaker 5 (30:47):
Get fucking shout on, Get fucking shut on, bro.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Michael morning Star was that fuck ass night dude or
whatever what he had like the his like he he
pretending to haven't light power or some shit.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
Nah.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
He has light based power, light and energy based powers,
but he got them by stealing life force from girls,
that's right. And when they sapped all his energy back,
it turned him into the dark power version.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
I got a quick question, Quentin, would you be really
upset if I go full Bater's gate and I run
my full action then jump. That's not a real thing
in real d And d Adam got him. What if
I like run twenty five feet and then jump fifteen
you can then long jump rules apply? What about jump
(31:39):
the spell? Yeah, you triple your jump? This is jumped.
Speaker 5 (31:44):
Yeah, wouldn't that be your action?
Speaker 4 (31:47):
He can't argue with that. He can't argue with that.
The way action.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
You take that spell and we'll work it out. It's
hardly a can trip. It's not gonna work as well
as you think it is gonna work, because it's it's
not as broke and as you think it is.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
But can't you just do a long jump but used
the spell?
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Yeah? But your distance, the distance that you're running for
the jump counts in the total movement. Oh are you taking?
I can? I could basically long jump longer a little bit?
Speaker 4 (32:14):
Yeah, three times?
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Yeah, it increases your three times threshold, but you don't
actually get to jump three times your jump speed. It's confusing,
and it would only be applicable in a situation where
he's actually using it. So just let's not think about it. Sorry,
use the spell and you'll you'll understand what I was
talking about.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Going a double lombo combo. This dude was my lightsaber.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
Wow, let's see that would be a twenty two huh
it hits, and then a twenty four. The second one
is a NAT twenty okay that grits really the first
one just.
Speaker 5 (32:56):
One d eight.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
So the first one is going to do three damage, okay,
and then this is the critical one. Just gonna do
do I just do it. I can roll two dice
or double it, double it, yeah, but you have to
pick before you roll, okay, kind of double it.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Yeah. So it's gonna be fourteen okay, that is actually
enough points to kill it. So how do you wish
to do this? I'm gonna and feel free to include
Sam even though you, even though he didn't get to
attack you.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Sam's gonna jump in and with both fists go under
it and knock it up like fucking blitz crank okay,
and then I'm gonna take my sword and then spin
it once and then cut the homie in half on
his way down.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
Nice first, cutting bitches in the half.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Cutting two bitches, cutting bitches. I thought you were totally
gonna say that Samuel slides under his legs and gets
in the tabletopping position so you can shove them over.
And then I was like, the shark can hover? Why
would that work? So funny? All right, you've killed the sharks.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Sharks are gone.
Speaker 5 (34:15):
I loot all the teeth.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Okay, right, very gruesome. You have roughly one hundred sharp teeth. Good. Good,
and I'm looking for Oh sorry, that is like the
last of the dangers. So I'm gonna go ahead do
that for you. So can I look inside this drone
launch tube to see if there's a mission data or
anything like that? Yeah, So you walk into the drone
(34:40):
launch tube area and it's just three holes in the
ship with no mechanical moving parts. And you see a
bunch of these wooden cylinders that are just like a
bunch of sticks tied together into a cylinder shape. So
you can assume that the goblins were sitting in and
then shoving into these hotles for them to just fall
out of the shish. So just barrels. Yes, what the fuck? Okay,
(35:04):
I'm going to the bridge. Drones aren't working, and on
the computer, put more gold pain on them. Yeah, pretty much.
On the computer, it says uh, drones have descended to
the planet's surface, are retrieving the artifact.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
They didn't put a tennis on them. That's where they
went wrong.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
And then mission Mission success. Artifact has been reclaimed and
taking to the bridge. So we're going after the artifact.
Now we go to the bridge, the bridges up a
flight of stairs.
Speaker 4 (35:40):
Can I search the quarters real quick, see if there's anything.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Yeah, that's smart.
Speaker 5 (35:46):
Make a survival check if you wish an, I will
do so as well. I rolled off.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
For I wrote a fourteen.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
Fine, I have all the shark keith I could need rival.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
Blink you find it. Much of loin cloths? Yeah, in
eighteen and what was that a fourteen?
Speaker 4 (36:07):
Fourteen?
Speaker 1 (36:08):
You guys are over the thresholds. You're able to scrap
together a couple of credits. I'd say about twenty credits
in total. And there's some very crude weaponry, so like
some daggers, some clubs, yeah, some betting line cloths. There's
plenty of lone clus you want some, like any sacks?
Speaker 4 (36:24):
Do they have any sacks?
Speaker 5 (36:26):
I can show you a sack.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Hey, yeah, I would hope not. So you're just said
for I wrote a twenty not a Kloika natural or
oh fifteen and then plus five, so add another, add
another six credits, and yeah, there's like a really a
(36:50):
weirdly really well made suit.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
We go, what is there a sack?
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Sure, there's a bunch of sacks.
Speaker 4 (37:01):
Okay, I'd like to pick one up. Okay, okay, I
would like to make it into a bag of holding.
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (37:07):
How much? How much credits to begin?
Speaker 4 (37:08):
How are you going to make it into a bag
of holding with my artificer ability?
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Yep? Is the infusions? Yeah, where you create a magic item? Yeah?
Is that one of the items you can make?
Speaker 4 (37:20):
I do believe it is.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
I find it.
Speaker 4 (37:23):
I'll let you know.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
I'm gonna pull up your sheet and I'm gonna scroll,
and you can make anything a second level artificer can make,
so an alchemy joke, a bag of holding is one
of the items. Boom, Congratulations, you have successfully figured out
how to get the party a bag of holding in
the first session of the game. Speed run it.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
I would like to shove all the goblin bodies in
the bag of Oh.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Okay, hey, yo, okay, we're starting off quick with this.
Sure you can certainly do that.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Are you trying to your and could I borrow a
few of those shark teeth? No, okay, I'll make you
a really cool weapon out of them.
Speaker 5 (38:02):
No, I have I have plans for these. How many
do you need?
Speaker 4 (38:09):
Three?
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Five?
Speaker 4 (38:11):
Okay? I put those in the bag of holding and
then shake them up.
Speaker 5 (38:14):
Are you gonna Are you gonna make a mock wattle
out of them?
Speaker 4 (38:17):
I'm just shaking the bag and I'm gonna Are you
gonna give the bag Samuel?
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Are you doing this in front of your superior officer?
Speaker 4 (38:25):
Yes, I'm gonna give the bag to Samuel, and I'm
gonna have him shake it inside him for an extended
period of time.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
What are you hoping to make out of this soup?
Speaker 4 (38:37):
Nothing? He's blending them. What do you like to know?
Speaker 5 (38:40):
It's a plender?
Speaker 1 (38:41):
I guess this is technically possible. Yeah, okay, do you
go to the bridge now? Yeah? The bridge?
Speaker 5 (38:50):
I don't. I don't want to hear around these weirdos anymore.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
So on the bridge, I'm the captain. Is this podium
with this weird on it? It's like a little piece
of pottery kind of thing? Can I inspect it? You
can't do? I after roll? You can yea? Make me
a perception check.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
It's even someone else should probably make a perceptions.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Uh that's pottery.
Speaker 5 (39:19):
Yeah yeah, that's pretty much all I get out of it.
Speaker 4 (39:22):
I got a sorry, Yeah, you're fine.
Speaker 5 (39:26):
I'm kind of just like my good glaze is excellent.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
But we were rolling for right now forception on this pot. No.
Speaker 5 (39:35):
Fifteen Sorry, I got an eight, and I'm just looking
at it from a distance and I'm like, it's a pot.
Eighteen blank heard the word pot and got excited.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Teen plus three okay, And Danny.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
It was fifteen fourteen plus one okay.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
So between I guess the two think tanks of the
group got them. You look this up her, and you're
able to tell a couple of things off the bat.
One this is a very old piece of ceramic. Two,
it is in fact not a pot. You're not entirely
sure what it is, but it is not a container.
Speaker 4 (40:12):
Or vessel, so it's solid wrong.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
And Three it is oh nice.
Speaker 4 (40:23):
I pick it up and put it in the bag
of holding.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
You pick it up, he said it, damn you. He
grabs it from them, and the podium sinks into the
bridge and you hear this is this is exactly what
(40:46):
you hear from the back of the ship as an
energy so sick. Sound of energy begins to a world
of life nice, but we gotta get out of here,
and a message plays over the barely working intercom system.
This is a prerecorded message from the captain. The ships
(41:09):
will now sell foostruck and twelve seconds evacuate the ship.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
It's just a fly stairs. We gotta go down, that's all.
I won't. I'll be in my robot.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
Wait, so we're just artifact that I'm running running, We're running.
I'm suttling such ton sting all what.
Speaker 4 (41:37):
I don't know what that is. Let's get there.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
I'm gonna need you to make me some piloting checks.
Big boy, another course or are we just getting all right?
He's like, I'm dripping this bitch manual. Go ahead and
make me a intelligence or investigation of perception perception Corey.
Speaker 5 (42:06):
I'm rolling perception. Uh sixteen?
Speaker 1 (42:10):
Oh okay, so you're gonna be able to watch out
for the small, slower moving ones, but the big asteroids. Unfortunately,
Zach's gonna have to make an extra check here for Zach.
Go ahead and make me a dexterity saving throw.
Speaker 4 (42:26):
What do you mean dexterity I'm fucking smart. I don't
do bag whips.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Can I can I roll to assist as a copilot?
This is a reaction time thing. Oh god, you question?
Can Yody? I have Hella dex Should I be the
one piloting? If this was a bigger shift, you probably could.
But on this smaller ship, no, you cannot. Now, bro,
this sucks.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
I rolled an eleven. Mmm, I don't have any.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
You needed a fourteen. The shuttle scrapes against an asteroid
as it as you fly the ship between two colliding
colossal asteroids, it's gonna take two D six damage, not you,
but the ship itself. Yeah, so the ship takes seven
points of damage and you all need to make a
DC twelve strength or dexterity saving throw to avoid being knocked.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Prone fuck calls.
Speaker 5 (43:23):
I rolled a ninety.
Speaker 4 (43:25):
I rolled a four. You guys remember earlier when I
was like, yeah, early, I'm gonna fucking roll a roll
like bottom tier ship.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Later, anyone who rolled less than a twelve, including your
security officer, is now thrown onto the sam. Is he
attached to you at the moment or is he free standing?
Speaker 4 (43:47):
Free standing?
Speaker 5 (43:48):
Then yes, seventeen? Well Sam's good.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Sam hold me. What I was to say.
Speaker 5 (44:00):
I braced all four of my arms against the walls.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Sam braced himself against you.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Thanks just sitting there, You see me like just clinging.
You seem like clinging to the wall like a bug.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
Damn. You are able to right the ship and get
back into the piloting seat. I'm going to need you
to make me an emergency maneuver though, to get back
on Corey's Who's flying you? I'm swimming still? You want
to pass it to somebody.
Speaker 4 (44:28):
Take over for Oh, I'm good, I'm good. I just
rolled twenty five. We're good. We're going.
Speaker 5 (44:32):
Yeah, I'm flying.
Speaker 4 (44:38):
I'm flying.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
And as you exit the asteroid belt back towards the
USS the USS Horizon's edge, the warped tour blows up
behind you, sending small asteroid pieces start pinging off the
back of your ship like hail.
Speaker 4 (45:04):
Are there any big asteroids hurtling towards big ship?
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Nothing? Nothing big enough that the force field wouldn't be
able to take care of.
Speaker 4 (45:12):
Okay? Cool?
Speaker 1 (45:13):
And you are able to field, sealing your shuttle into
the the shuttle bay of the USS Horizon's edge, just
in time to be missed by the bigger rocks.
Speaker 5 (45:27):
Nice question. Yes, does the shuttle bay have doors?
Speaker 1 (45:31):
It does not. It has like a shield slash air
blok that they can turn on.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
All right, So now that we're done with that, like
that little thing, Now I have to say something. This
reminds me of the time I drove that cart through
a car full of art through a.
Speaker 4 (45:49):
Battlefield while singing sea shanties to confuse the commands.
Speaker 5 (45:54):
Oh you're I know exactly what you're doing already because
I was reading those earlier.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
Yeah, I look over at.
Speaker 5 (46:04):
Quentin, does not know what's going on.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
I have no idea what's going on.
Speaker 4 (46:07):
It's for the best. That's for the best.
Speaker 5 (46:08):
How do I get better than I look at Danny?
Speaker 2 (46:11):
I will schedule you a mental stability check.
Speaker 4 (46:14):
So what's next? Where are we going?
Speaker 1 (46:16):
Where are we going to the bridge? Everybody? Make me
a perception check real quick.
Speaker 4 (46:21):
Oh god, there's an undead goblin on our ship.
Speaker 5 (46:25):
Seventeen perception whole night, as you're leaving the ship.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
Sixteen still makes it. As you're leaving the ship, you
glance one more time at the shuttle sensors and the
radar flings out. When you're watching the last little radar
pin go out and a blip on the very edge
of it appears.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
Okay, and I warn the rest of them, what do
y'all do?
Speaker 1 (46:56):
The big ship right to the fucking top we go, Baby.
Speaker 4 (46:59):
I had them with the car.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (47:00):
We hit him with that ain't coming for an object.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
Blah blah blah blah blah, port side spinner around.
Speaker 4 (47:07):
Full shields, shields up the full. We tell them about
the security. I just had a security and.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
That person's gonna be like ratlart rattl art.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
How you know what I'm saying, Oh, I got you that.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
You guys head back up to the bridge. Yeah, yeah, okay.
So as you get back up to the bridge, they're
probably going to see on the radar the captain. You
start to tell the captain about the blip, and he's like,
you think my, you think my uh my comms officer,
didn't you see that?
Speaker 2 (47:39):
You see I figured a brilliant credit fucking spaceship.
Speaker 4 (47:43):
Didn't see that ship, you dumb ass betty officer.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
And then you see Lieutenant Phaja turning and go, actually,
I haven't seen it yet, and he goes, oh, very well,
good looking out as he stares off into space.
Speaker 5 (48:00):
Ian oak and small. I think he needs a mentally sale.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
I wonder if it's too small, because some issue of
big ships is they don't pick up big sh they
don't pick up the little ship, and I pick up
big ship. Could be that's how the sonar and as
you gaze through the panoramic viewport of the bridge off
in the distance, you see you see a shadowy ship
(48:28):
emerge from the asteroid field right next to where you
had plotted your course. And that's what we're going to
end off for tonight. Vision pirate could be would be
space pirates. I need a weapon. Okay he didn't get that. Yeah,