March 6, 2025 • 39 mins
In this episode, I’m joined by holistic counselor and intuitive Reiki master, Laura McVeigh, to talk about the essential self-care strategies every healer, intuitive guide, and spiritual practitioner needs. We dive into recognizing the signs of burnout versus stress, why self-compassion is key, and practical steps for setting strong boundaries.
Laura shares her powerful insights on transforming stress into rejuvenation through energy alignment and self-care practices. Plus, I channel a special trance message from my guide, Anya, offering wisdom on balancing emotions and maintaining authentic connections.
If you’re a healer or in a caring profession, this episode will offer you the tools to honor your energy and find balance.
Learn more about Laura McVeigh: lauramcveigh.com.au
Use code POD10 for 10% off your first individual session with Laura.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – Introduction: Self-Care for Healers
01:09 – Meet Our Guest: Laura McVeigh
02:47 – Understanding Burnout
04:27 – Recognizing Burnout Symptoms
06:58 – The Importance of Self-Care
08:08 – Personal Stories of Burnout
12:37 – Advice for Healers
13:50 – The Role of Compassion and Love
25:04 – Boundaries and Balance
36:44 – Final Thoughts and Conclusion
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lisa Brandis (00:46):
Hello everyone.
And welcome to today's episode.
I'm Lisa Brandis, your host, andI'm so excited to dive into a
topic that is deeply importantto me, self care for healers.
As healers, intuitive guides andspiritual practitioners, we
dedicate so much of our time andenergy to others.
(01:09):
But how do we ensure that wedon't burn out In the process to
help us explore this, I'mthrilled to introduce our guest
today, Laura McVeigh.
Laura is a holistic counselorand intuitive Reiki master and a
passionate advocate forempowering others through self
(01:29):
care and energy alignment.
She creates a supportive spacefor her clients to transform
stress and overwhelm into asense of rejuvenation and
balance.
And with her extensiveknowledge, she helps people
around the world make meaningfulchanges in their lives.
So welcome, Laura.
Laura (01:47):
I'm very excited.
Lisa Brandis (01:50):
Well, as one of my Reiki masters, it has been such
a joy to witness your evolutionover the last five years.
It's been since you became aReiki master.
And I'm so proud of, witnessingyour Remarkable journey.
And also bridging counseling andReiki and energy healing to
(02:12):
create, yeah, really lifechanging experiences for your
clients.
And today we were having a bitof a chat before we met about
what kind of topic would bereally relevant for people
today.
We talked about the experienceof burnout and it's a common
thing with healers, especially,and quite often it would be one
(02:33):
of the biggest questions is howdo I not take on other people's
stress and when we're, you know,empathic, it can be very easy to
Really tune into what's going onwith others and then, and then
burnout.
And so I wanted to talk to youspecifically about, what exactly
is burnout?
Mm-hmm
Laura (02:54):
Burnout is the idea that, well, let's start with stress,
because everyone experiencesstress.
It's a daily thing.
We all live with it.
But there is a differencebetween being stressed or being
under pressure and burnout.
So stress can be useful.
It can be aggravating when we'retalking about burnout
specifically, there's kind ofthree hallmarks that would
(03:16):
separate burnout from beingstressed.
So the first one is emotionalexhaustion.
So that's the fatigue that weexperienced because we care too
much for too long without thatidea of refilling the cup, so to
speak.
big signal, and I think this isthe one that people tend to
notice first, is thedepersonalization.
(03:36):
So we're talking about depletionof empathy, depletion of
compassion.
It's like, Again, we've justcared for so long.
It's not that we don't care, butwe cannot connect with that
feeling anymore.
It's just, oh great, anotherthing we have to do, another
session we have to run insteadof feeling the joy and the honor
of being able to be in thishealer position.
(03:57):
And the third one is decreasedsense of accomplishment.
And I think this is where peopleget really down and really start
to notice the burnout is feelingof, it doesn't matter what I do,
it's not making a difference.
Not necessarily, I'm going tostop because why should I
bother, but what is this for?
It's not helping anyone.
(04:17):
So those are the three big signsI would say that someone is
experiencing burnout rather thanstress.
Lisa Brandis (04:25):
Yeah, interesting.
Laura (04:26):
Yes.
Lisa Brandis (04:27):
How do we recognize it?
Because I would imagine andprobably looking at my own
experience, these things creepup slowly.
And, you know, you can have onereally good day where you feel
amazing.
And then you have a couple ofreally low days.
And then after a while, the lowdays become more than the great
days.
So, you know, I would imagine,and from my own experience as
(04:48):
well, it can be quitechallenging to recognize and
identify that you might beexperiencing burnout.
So is there any telltale signs?
Laura (04:56):
Yeah, absolutely.
And it is one of those thingswhere we start to think again
about we chronically stressed oris this burnout?
Because obviously chronic stressis something that lasts for a
long period of time.
There's the idea as well thatnot all stress is a bad thing.
Some, some exciting things likebuying a house or having a child
are incredibly stressful,although they're very positive
(05:16):
experiences.
And I think a lot of the timepeople think, but this is such a
good thing.
Why am I burned out?
I'm doing the, the job I'vealways wanted to do.
Why do I, why am I notconnecting with it anymore?
So there's a whole range ofsymptoms, so to speak.
So physical signs include thingslike issues, breathing,
(05:37):
digestive issues, painfulmuscles, headaches, even issues
like a heart rate and bloodpressure.
Being elevated, sleepdisturbances, the things you'd
kind of recognize, mental signscan be things like jumping to
conclusions, tunnel vision,blaming others, catastrophizing,
(05:58):
overgeneralizing is a big one.
I recognize in a lot of myclients as well.
And then probably really thebiggest one that I notice is
just that disconnect.
So just knowing that you'resupposed to be enjoying your
time with your family and yourfriends and just not, just not
being
Lisa Brandis (06:16):
Yeah.
Laura (06:17):
that.
Lisa Brandis (06:19):
Yeah.
And could that be described asjust kind of a numbing sensation
where you just, yeah, thatfeeling of kind of floating
through your experiences withoutfeeling the ups and the downs or
is it different to that?
Laura (06:32):
And this is where it tends to get very messy because
all the things we've describedalso could be applied to if
you're dealing with anxiety, ifyou're dealing with depression,
if you're dealing with grief,believe it or not, a lot of
those signs are
Lisa Brandis (06:45):
Yeah.
Laura (06:45):
So it is really, I feel knowing yourself, what this is,
and then knowing when to gethelp.
maybe it is a break.
Maybe you need to see a doctor.
Lisa Brandis (06:57):
Yeah.
Laura (06:57):
balance
Lisa Brandis (06:58):
Yeah.
And you know, I think we find ashealers that quite often people
that.
don't want to go and see apsychologist or don't
necessarily want to go to thedoctor.
It's almost like a bit more of agentle way of easing them into
perhaps a recommendation or atransition to a therapist.
It's like a safe kind of funexperience.
It's a bit nurturing.
(07:19):
They're, they're not necessarilybeing labeled with anything by
us.
We do not diagnose in ourtherapy.
So, you know, obviously you andI come with other skills, you
know, I am a clinicalhypnotherapist, like you're, you
know, you're a trainedcounselor.
So we have these othermodalities that sit alongside
the Reiki healing that we offerpeople, but I have found,
through the thousands ofstudents I've taught that it is
(07:40):
a safe place for people to come.
And kind of first admit thatthey're having problems because
a lot of us in society, we justsquash, we suppress, we don't
like those negative emotions.
And so quite often people willgo to all kinds of different
ways of distracting ourselves.
And in today's day and age,there's certainly no shortage of
(08:01):
distractions is there to kind oftake us out of.
Oh
Laura (08:05):
gosh.
Lisa Brandis (08:06):
absolutely.
So it sounds to me from whatyou're saying, the first thing
we need to do is identify thatwe're having a problem because
we have to also move through,you know, that we might be in
denial.
I know it wasn't me that broughtthe awareness to the help that I
needed when I experiencedburnout.
It was my husband and one of mybest friends.
And I was literally stillarguing with them saying, no, I
don't have a problem.
(08:27):
I don't have a problem becauseit felt too big to recognize and
identify.
And I just didn't want to stopthe busyness that I had.
And exactly what you said, youknow, I'm doing the work that I
love.
It's part of my calling.
I was.
Born to do this work.
So it had nothing to do with thejob, my purpose, my calling,
(08:48):
because all those are the sameand haven't changed.
It was just the way in which Iwas working.
That was slowly over time,depleting my energy to the point
of being in dysfunction, in astate of dysfunction.
And I did actually getpsychology.
You know, I went and saw apsychologist that was a big step
for me as a healer and assomeone who teaches and empowers
(09:10):
people.
And you know, is, is the, thestandard I held for myself, and
I'm sure there's other leadersand healers that would recognize
and identify in this.
It took a lot of courage for meto admit that I was actually
having mental struggles.
And even for a long time, Ididn't talk about it with my
students because again, I had toprotect that vulnerable part of
(09:32):
me that was in pain.
And processing the healing I wasgoing through, but I think it's
important to acknowledge that wecan still be an amazing healer
and have, you know, mentalhealth issues and we can still
doing amazing work and stillneed to get help and support,
you know?
So I think that the human aspectand the spiritual aspect co
(09:52):
exist, don't they?
Laura (09:53):
We're not one thing or the other.
And even the way you werespeaking about that, being a
healer and being a leader andbeing a mentor and a teacher is
obviously a massive part of whoyou identify as.
Lisa Brandis (10:05):
Oh,
Laura (10:06):
swoop in and say, not that you're not doing it right,
but there's somethinginterfering with it.
That's a huge issue then withself identity.
So
Lisa Brandis (10:15):
and it was a massive.
Laura (10:16):
kind of
Lisa Brandis (10:17):
Yeah, massive identity
Laura (10:18):
top.
Lisa Brandis (10:18):
crisis,
Laura (10:19):
Yeah.
Lisa Brandis (10:20):
and of course my big turning point story was that
I used to have anxiety andBecoming a Reiki master changed
all that for me.
So my big story oftransformation and And I'd never
experienced burnout, burnoutcame later in my life, but my
big transformation story wasthat you know Reiki healed My
(10:41):
mental illness back then, so tothen identify that, Oh, it's not
doing it's, it hasn't, it hasn'tremained that way for my entire
life, you know, that, that,
Laura (10:52):
Yeah.
Lisa Brandis (10:52):
was the part that I found, you know, it was almost
like I'm, I'm running retreatsand I'm teaching people.
So that's why it took me so longto identify that I had the issue
because of exactly what yousaid.
It was that it was a crisis ofidentity.
Who am I then, you know, if not,yeah.
And the bigger the following,the worse it felt, right?
(11:14):
And I had a big following.
I still do, but it was, yeah,huge pressure.
Laura (11:18):
imposter syndrome
Lisa Brandis (11:19):
Oh my God.
Laura (11:19):
there is going to say, well, if you're such an amazing
healer, why haven't you fixedyourself?
Lisa Brandis (11:24):
Yeah, exactly.
But you know what the bigbreakthrough came?
It came when my mum, I rocked upon mum's door, sobbing my heart
out.
And she said to me, Lisa, you'renot a robot.
And it was like, Is someonegiving someone that loves me
dearly, my mother giving mepermission to be human, like to,
(11:44):
and it was the pressure, notanyone else put on myself.
It was all the pressure thatcame from me to live up to this
unrealistic standard ofhappiness and recognizing that
the minute I took the pressureoff myself and when I don't have
to be, you know, I don't have tobe anyone's guru or anyone's
spiritual teacher.
I just have to be me.
(12:05):
And then.
It allowed me to continueworking, but from a place of new
authenticity.
Yeah.
Laura (12:12):
because
Lisa Brandis (12:12):
So we don't, how dare you
Laura (12:13):
be a human with feelings, like, what were you thinking?
Lisa Brandis (12:17):
and you know, what I found is that the students
related to me, they're like, OhGod, you too.
Right.
Cause it actually made me morerelatable because people all
have struggles and I neverjudged anyone else.
Just judged my own, which waspart of my, you know.
Part of, yeah, my makeup and,and how I'm wired.
(12:37):
So what advice would you give tohealers that struggle with a
similar kind of experience,Laura?
Either fear of being judged oreven fear of taking care of
themselves and getting the helpthat they need.
Laura (12:51):
I think one of the interesting exercises that I've
done with clients is to, andwe've all done it, imagine you
were talking to your bestfriend.
Would you
Lisa Brandis (13:00):
Yeah.
Laura (13:01):
friend, be a robot, stop feeling, keep working, you've
got to do this, nobody's goingto take you seriously, if you're
not doing, doing, doing, youwould never say that to your
best friend, or to your mum, orto your child, no way on earth
would you do that.
I think the first step would be,speak to yourself with more
compassion.
(13:22):
More kindly.
If you are not in a place whereyou are ready to hear it, that's
okay too.
But trust the people who aretelling you.
if you're seeing your healer andthey're saying, look, I'm a bit
worried.
You seemed like you seem likeyou're heading down the road to
burnout.
Or your mom says to you, yourhusband or your best friend says
to you, Hey, something feels alittle bit off.
(13:44):
you trust
Lisa Brandis (13:44):
Mm.
Laura (13:45):
Do you trust the
Lisa Brandis (13:46):
Mm.
Laura (13:47):
they're giving you Because it's coming from a place
of love.
Lisa Brandis (13:50):
Yeah.
Laura (13:50):
Listen to the people that love you and treat yourself with
some compassion because this isa human experience.
It is completely normal to begoing through these sorts of
very human experiences.
Lisa Brandis (14:04):
Yeah, so perfect.
And that's exactly what I endedup doing as part of my recovery
from burnout was learning how tobe kinder with myself.
And what I found, Laura, whichis interesting, is that kindness
is one of my top values, as iscompassion.
And over time, the burnoutslowly eroded my self love and
(14:25):
my self compassion.
That's why it was a surprisethat I was no longer being kind
to myself.
Because, you know, learning tolove myself was something I did
20 years ago.
That was the early days oflearning Reiki.
And I've been practicing now for22 years.
So I really wanted to, pointthat out to people.
Self love is an ongoingpractice.
(14:47):
And it's something that, youknow, we, we constantly have to
work at.
And sometimes we don't recognizewhen we've gone off track.
I didn't recognize I was beinghard on myself.
Others were seeing it, but Ididn't believe I was.
And I think that's part of thedistortion.
We don't see ourself clearlywhen we're in a bit of a
dysfunctional state.
(15:08):
And funny enough, I wascatastrophizing and it was my
accountant that said to me,cause I was in some panic over
some financial thing.
She actually pointed out to methat I was catastrophizing.
And how did she know it?
Because she had had anxiety.
She had had someone pointed outto her a therapist, and then she
(15:29):
was able to identify it withinme.
And she was the one that told meto go to my mum's.
She said, just take yourself toyour mum's.
You need to get some help,right?
Love comes in all differentplaces and from all different
people, right?
The time we need it.
So,
Laura (15:43):
Absolutely.
Lisa Brandis (15:47):
So,
Laura (15:47):
that idea that you mentioned of guilt,
Lisa Brandis (15:50):
yes, yeah, yeah.
Guilt plays a big part in it,self care and guilt.
Laura (15:56):
absolutely.
And taking the time you need tolook after yourself is, I think,
one of the biggest hurdlesbecause we are very conditioned
to keep going, keep working,keep doing the things.
You've got a to do list you haveto take care of.
And like we spoke aboutyesterday, the thing that
probably makes me madder thanjust about anything in the world
(16:19):
One of the top things, um, iswhen people say you have to fill
your cup so you can give toothers.
It's like, no,
Lisa Brandis (16:26):
Yeah.
Laura (16:27):
Just, you should fill your cup because you're a human
being.
I'm getting so aggravated justthinking about it.
You should fill your cup becauseyou're a human being and you are
deserving of looking afteryourself.
And a lot of people strugglewith that idea because again,
it's
Lisa Brandis (16:42):
Yeah,
Laura (16:42):
I'm a mom, I'm a carer, I'm a healer.
I have to do all these thingsfor all these other people.
It's like, no.
You should just look afteryourself.
And people find that really,really uncomfortable.
Lisa Brandis (16:55):
Yeah.
I noticed like even your energychanged when you spoke about it
and you said yourself it makesyou angry.
What about that makes you angry?
What is it exactly about that,that popular notion that, that
kind of,
Laura (17:13):
piece of conditioning, isn't it?
You have to be nice, you have tobe caring, you have to be good,
you have to look after otherpeople.
You can, you can just go die ina hole, nobody cares about you,
but you have to die lookingafter all these other people.
Lisa Brandis (17:27):
Yeah,
Laura (17:28):
chronic.
Lisa Brandis (17:30):
So to totally reframe that, and I love it
because the, the.
You know, quite often there isreal wisdom in the things that
irritate us in society.
And, and it's because thenprofound change comes from the
people like you, Laura, thatspeak up about a notion and
challenge it.
Cause sometimes we just acceptthese things as a given.
(17:52):
It's almost like women arenurturing, right?
All these kind of ideas thathealers care for others.
We're caring, nurturing peopleas part of our identity, part of
our natural predisposition aswell that, you know, empathic
people, especially those thatare attracted to healing
modalities or counseling, we'renaturally caring, empathic
(18:12):
people.
So it's easy for us to fit intothat mold of wanting to take
care of others.
So.
What would be the idealsituation for you if we were to
flip that on its head and not beabout self care for others?
What is the opposite of thatlook like for you?
What's the ideal state thatwomen, you know, being that
that's our, mostly our audience,what would women
Laura (18:37):
You are deserving of boundaries.
You are deserving of care.
You're deserving of lookingafter yourself, just because you
are you.
You don't have to do more, bemore, give more.
You're worthy of care, justbecause you're you.
You're deserving of everything.
Lisa Brandis (18:56):
to sit with that for a minute because that's
powerful.
That's powerful.
And do you know, I think back toone of, I asked an amazing
mentor and therapist, a tip whenI was first starting out in this
career, I said, Oh, give me, Iwas like, I was expecting some
profound, it was profound, butit was not what I was expecting
(19:18):
her to say.
And she looked me in the eye andshe said to me, the way that you
can be the best therapist youcan be Lisa, is to love people.
Because what we're all cravingis more love and what you do so
naturally and effortlessly andeasily is love others.
And from that basis ofopenhearted connection and true
(19:41):
authentic love people feel thatand in the resonance of that
people heal people like, andexactly what you just described
is just the state of love, notbecause you deserve it, not
because you've, you know.
done backflips or, you know,achieved an award or had lots of
people at a workshop, right?
(20:01):
You, you're loved because it's abasic human need.
We all deserve it.
And we shouldn't have to ask forit.
A bit like the sun shines on usall every day.
So, love is there for us toreceive and feel and express
wouldn't it be nice, if we couldtake it one step further,
wouldn't it be nice if westarted there rather than
(20:24):
waiting until we've burnt outbefore we get the help, what if
we just Get help because it'sfun to do get help because it's
so nice to have someone just runenergy on you.
What if we don't have to go to ahealer because we feel like
something's wrong in our life?
What if we go to a healer justto maintain a sense of, balance
(20:45):
and, to kind of catch thingsbefore they get.
Out of balance, just to increasea sense of wellbeing.
Not necessarily happiness, butwhat about just to bring us back
to ourself,
Laura (20:59):
I have a theory that I love and I'd like to do more
with it.
I call it unglamorous or boringself care because we all love a
bubble bath and a massage and afacial, but sometimes self care
is.
you need to go to the doctor?
Have you made your appointment?
When did you see the dentistlast?
Have you drunk enough water?
Are you taking your medicationlike you're supposed to?
(21:21):
Were you supposed to have thatblood test that your doctor
requested and you haven't doneit yet?
So all of these, these routine,boring things that really do
contribute to our health andwellbeing.
So why not have Reiki?
Why not have a massage?
Why not see a therapist?
Just as a routine part of, I'm ahuman being, I'm trying to look
after myself.
Lisa Brandis (21:42):
Yeah.
Laura (21:43):
I will do these things.
Lisa Brandis (21:46):
To me it makes perfect sense and I know from
all of my experiences, I see myhypnotherapist once a month, we
do a share with each otherbecause we're both therapists
and we realize the benefit of,you know, sitting down and
having someone else kind of helpus.
with the challenges that we'refacing.
And let's be honest, if you'rehuman, there's challenges just
(22:06):
around the corner.
And to be honest, if you know,for those of you that are
interested in growth, growthhappens from that place of
discomfort, which means we'rebeing challenged.
We're either creating thechallenge to grow and stretch,
because we want to thrive inlife.
And I just can't think of anyreason why it shouldn't be part
of our normal, natural, selfcare.
(22:28):
And I love that it doesn't haveto be glamorous, right?
And it can be times when we goto the healer and open up and
have a big cry, or we go to thehealer and we share and express
all the incredible things thatare going on in our life as
well.
It's just nice to have thatsupportive partnership that is
there 100 percent for you.
And they're to guide you in whatit is.
(22:51):
That is important for you toexplore and just to sometimes
have, I know from my ownexperience, sometimes just a
healer can hold space for uswhen we have lost that self
kindness and that compassion andthey can walk us through those
negative, icky feelings andemotions that we don't really
want to let out of our body.
(23:12):
They can hold space to allow usto do it and it just seems to
flow a lot more effortlesslythen and doesn't feel as hard as
if we tried to do it all on ourown.
Laura (23:21):
The therapist relationship, they specifically
that when they talk aboutpsychologists and things, they
often say that the relationshipwith your therapist is the most
important thing.
It doesn't matter if they'redoing CBT or ACT or whatever the
modality is, the connection withthat person that's the most
important part.
And I feel like that's same withanything, same with any healing
(23:43):
relationship, any friendship,knowing that you've got that
person that you can connect withis so vital to, to self care, to
boundaries, to everything.
Lisa Brandis (23:56):
I absolutely agree and connection is needed now
more than ever, because I thinkwe feel we're connecting through
social media, but it actuallyhas been proven that it's not a
real connection and zoom has itsplace, podcasts and things like
this have.
It's place in society, butthere's just nothing truly like
sitting opposite someone personto person, getting a hug,
(24:19):
sharing a cup of tea and evensharing and expressing who you
are.
It's needed and, and from abiological state, we actually
need it to thrive.
We need human touch.
We need human connection.
And I think we have an epidemicright now of people that are
missing that and craving it andprobably don't even know that
(24:39):
they are.
I've loved it.
We've talked about burnout.
We've talked about the signs andhow to identify it.
We've looked at, how chronicstress shows up differently to
natural stress in short termexperiences, how it can have a
physiological effect as well as,emotional, we've looked at, Ways
(24:59):
we can get support both in selfcare, but also reaching out and
getting help.
You did mention boundaries and Iknow this is something that a
lot of people do suffer with.
Do you have anything you want toshare around in particular
having good healthy boundaries?
Laura (25:15):
But obviously the boundary that you have with a
child is going to be differentto a boundary that you have with
your workmates, for example.
So it's identifying therelationship.
What is acceptable to you inthat relationship?
Controversially, I'm going tosay sometimes that needs to be
flexible.
So if you're at work and thereis an absolute urgent deadline,
(25:35):
but your boundary is that youleave at 4.
30 on the dot because your hoursare done.
it's a one off thing andsomebody says to you, please, we
need you to stay.
Could you help us out with thisthing?
okay for you to bend yourboundary that one time?
Maybe it's okay.
Maybe it's not.
But that's for you to decide.
And then, I guess, re reboundreeing the relationship is going
(25:57):
to be important.
So, can you live with?
What is acceptable to you?
What is not draining to you?
Because then if you're startingto feel resentful, or like
you're always doing the giving,maybe that's the time where you
need to look at that boundaryand say, okay, maybe it's
probably a bit too flexible now,or I'm not being clear enough
about it, or the other personisn't respecting what I've asked
(26:19):
for.
kind of deciding how you'regoing to reel that back and
determine how you're going toset that up again.
Lisa Brandis (26:27):
Yeah.
I think that's actually not sucha controversial response.
It makes total sense to me,Laura.
So thank you for saying itbecause, and I see it the same
as, you know, with balance.
It's almost like find life, workbalance and it's like, well, can
we really have a balance?
Like we spend more time at workthan we do at home and we spend
more time sleeping somewhat, youknow?
(26:48):
So, and again, balance fallsinto that same category of, as.
Yeah, what's working for us.
So I love that.
And sometimes we again needsomeone to share that with, to
be able to help us to work outwhat is, you know, what is
meaningful for us in ourrelationships.
And then how do we communicateeffectively if we feel like
someone's taking advantage.
(27:08):
And that is where the difficultconversations come in and having
some You know, wise guidance onhow to best do that to maintain
the strength and the love of therelationship is usually really
valuable, Laura.
So again, you've got so manyskills that you can offer to
people, in terms of, both thecounseling and I love that it's,
(27:29):
fortified with Reiki as well.
So people have that opportunityto experience both sides of your
modalities.
So is there anything that youwould like to share?
In addition to what we'vealready spoken about today.
Laura (27:43):
I would just say, notice when something is making you
uncomfortable.
And that's, it's probably an oddthing.
So whether it's a feeling or aperson or a situation, and pay
attention to it.
I think particularly again, aswomen and healers, if something
makes us uncomfortable where wetend to just push through
(28:03):
because we need to see theclient, we need to earn the
money, we need to take care ofthe thing.
But that feeling of anxiety orfear or apprehension it's there
for a reason.
Lisa Brandis (28:16):
Mm,
Laura (28:16):
that's
Lisa Brandis (28:16):
Mm,
Laura (28:17):
with a lot with my clients.
Quite often it's like, Oh, Idon't have any reason to feel
this particular way.
It's
Lisa Brandis (28:24):
Mm,
Laura (28:25):
Yeah, you do.
Lisa Brandis (28:26):
Mm.
Laura (28:26):
if it turns out that we explore that and, you know, do
the therapy around it and do theReiki around it, maybe it's
legitimate feeling.
I, I just, in general, wouldlove it if people paid more
attention to how they feel,About things.
Lisa Brandis (28:42):
Yeah, and to me that ties into what I teach as
well with your intuition, thatgut, that gut feeling, that gut
connection, that first thought.
I wrote about it in my book, awhole situation where I had
those feelings.
We called them red flags in theend when we worked out, there
was not just one red flag, but Ikept making excuses for the way
(29:03):
I felt because I wanted to bekind or wanted to help or felt
that I should be.
And we do it so much where weput others needs above our own
and make their needs moreimportant than what we're
feeling.
So that's a really valid pointfor people, especially empaths
and
Laura (29:19):
Yeah.
Lisa Brandis (29:20):
lightworkers to really.
You know, validate theiremotions, validate their
feelings, and, I think there'snothing more important to be
honest, and, and it is thegateway to our intuition, our,
our emotions tell us when we'rein alignment, you know, and when
we're not, so speaking of that,I would love to bring Anya
through because I like at theend of these, interviews,
Laura (29:42):
Okay.
ANYA (29:42):
The human is a very complex experience and we like
that you both have resonatedwith the different ways in which
emotions can bring to thesurface, complex issues that are
best dealt with.
Within relationships, there isquite often mirrors to your
(30:03):
experience that can be reflectedthrough one another and through
the very powerful connection.
It is the very thing that allowsyou to sense and feel when
you're in alignment and whenyou're living life to an
accordance with what brings you.
A sense of peace and a sense ofconnection and happiness.
(30:23):
And there are many differentstrategies and many different
techniques that you can engage.
We like that healers, takedifferent tools and techniques
and lean on different ones atdifferent times in order to find
clarity and in order to findpeace around certain
circumstances.
(30:46):
And what we also would like toremind you is that it's not as
difficult as you think.
So quite often humans get verycaught up in resistance and
fighting the very emotions andthere is a tendency to suppress
them when in fact if they justallowed that emotion to come up
and sat with it for a fewmoments and brought just simply
(31:09):
an awareness.
To what they're feeling and whatthey're thinking and what
they've experienced.
It doesn't take much to gain aneutral perspective on it, which
is part of what we do when weblend with our human
counterparts is bring a morebalanced perspective to the
very, at times, hot emotionalexperiences.
(31:33):
We say hot as in thefluctuations of energy and the
rise and falls and the peaks andtroughs of life's experience.
And it is where we find the mostinterest.
It is part of our desire to helphumans learn how to navigate
through the challengingsituations with more ease and
(31:53):
more grace.
And part of that is exactly asyou two have described and have
spoken about.
It is about self understanding,self compassion, bringing love
to any problem or challenge thatyou're facing.
There is always a spiritualsolution to any problem.
It doesn't necessarily comewith.
(32:15):
is sometimes the solutions thatwill actually ease the bigger
burden may have to go through achallenging experience in order
to bring about change.
And that is where support canbest help you navigate through.
The difficulties of change whenand if it's the right time for
(32:35):
that person to do so.
We would, love to answer anyquestions if you have one for
us, Laura.
Laura (32:48):
I guess just, am I on the right track with all of this?
Because this hybrid way ofworking,
ANYA (32:55):
Brings about its challenges.
Laura (32:58):
Yeah.
ANYA (32:59):
Yes.
Well, the thing is, is thatthere are limitations within
some of the therapeuticpractices and they don't from
what we're feeling and tuninginto from you.
They don't always take into anaccount the energetic experience
of the human and the energeticway in which humans interact.
In fact, everything is energy,but the mental modality Faces,
(33:23):
the problems and challengesthrough a mental lens and an
emotional lens and doesn'tnecessarily take into the bigger
underlying beliefs that alsocontribute to.
The challenges that human face.
So we always suggest that youoperate in a way that is
integral with your own valuesand your own principles and your
(33:48):
own beliefs.
And that might mean that atdifferent times you have to wear
different hats.
It might mean that in order tosatisfy the legalities or the.
Recommendations of one modalitymight be that it's experienced
in total separation to another,and so it's offered as perhaps a
different experience for people.
(34:09):
There will be a underlyingconnection that runs as a thread
through what it is that you doand how you operate.
We have seen through Lisa'sexperience that in the
beginning, In the early yearswith little experience, it was
much easier for her to followthose that have gone on before
and follow the rules as that waslaid out for her to do so,
(34:30):
because someone that does nothave a breadth of experience
within a certain modality doesbest to just follow the rules
until they themselves have thatbreadth of experience.
Once they have, they understandthrough their own personal
experiences where those rulescan be applied and where they
can be, Gently moved around.
(34:53):
Does that make sense?
So for the for always for thebenefit of the client and the
therapeutic relationship as awhole and when there is that
integrity that stands at.
As the basis with which you workis to work in a, in a way of
(35:13):
assisting the outcome ispositive for the, for the
interaction together.
It can be, it can be gentlynavigated and it, and it is also
an understanding of checking inwith yourself as to whether you
know the work that you're doingis in, is in balance.
(35:34):
And is working in an ethicalway, and when you know that it
is, you can rest assured.
Whether you would get othersacknowledge different
modalities, perhaps it would notcome if they have not yet
experienced it themselves.
So sometimes there is just ablanket no, because they do not
understand what it is.
And without the breadth ofunderstanding what it is, it's
(35:54):
hard for them to make a decisionto say yes or no.
So sometimes they just stickwith the modality that is known.
And they make rules around thatone because there are so many
different ways that humans caninteract in so many different
modalities.
And again, as you said earlier,that also depends on the needs
of the human and some modalitiesjust simply will not resonate
(36:16):
with some humans.
So therefore it would make sensethat you put on the clinical hat
for that person and someone thatis totally open to energy and
loves it and has experienced it.
So has that full breadth ofunderstanding and awareness,
then they would.
It would make sense that youcould lean into that area with
them.
We have enjoyed this interactionand look forward to connecting
(36:37):
with you all again.
Namaste.
Lisa Brandis (36:44):
Thank you again, Laura, for sharing your wisdom
and heart with us today.
So for those who would love toconnect with you and learn more
about your work, how can theyfind you?
Laura (36:55):
My website is lauramcvay.
com.
au, I am on most of the socialmedia sites as well.
And I'm working on being moreconsistent about posting
particularly Reiki videos, so docome over and encourage me
there.
Lisa Brandis (37:08):
Beautiful.
Do you have any special offersfor our listeners?
Laura (37:13):
Listeners can receive 10 percent off their first
individual session using thecode POD10.
So P O D 1 0.
That's valid for the next sixmonths.
Lisa Brandis (37:23):
Wonderful.
Thank you so much, Laura.
And I will put all Laura's linksto be able to access that
special rate, at the end in theshow notes.
So thank you again, Laura, forsharing your wisdom and heart
with us today.
Thank you to everyone who'slistening.
Remember taking care ofyourself.
Isn't a luxury.
(37:44):
It's a necessity.
Until next time, be kind toyourself, honor your energy and
keep shining bright.
See you in the next episode.
Hello everyone.
And welcome to today's episode.
I'm Lisa Brandis, your host, andI'm so excited to dive into a
topic that is deeply importantto me, self care for healers.
As healers, intuitive guides andspiritual practitioners, we
dedicate so much of our time andenergy to others.
(01:09):
But how do we ensure that wedon't burn out In the process to
help us explore this, I'mthrilled to introduce our guest
today, Laura McVeigh.
Laura is a holistic counselorand intuitive Reiki master and a
passionate advocate forempowering others through self
(01:29):
care and energy alignment.
She creates a supportive spacefor her clients to transform
stress and overwhelm into asense of rejuvenation and
balance.
And with her extensiveknowledge, she helps people
around the world make meaningfulchanges in their lives.
So welcome, Laura.
Laura (01:47):
I'm very excited.
Lisa Brandis (01:50):
Well, as one of my Reiki masters, it has been such
a joy to witness your evolutionover the last five years.
It's been since you became aReiki master.
And I'm so proud of, witnessingyour Remarkable journey.
And also bridging counseling andReiki and energy healing to
(02:12):
create, yeah, really lifechanging experiences for your
clients.
And today we were having a bitof a chat before we met about
what kind of topic would bereally relevant for people
today.
We talked about the experienceof burnout and it's a common
thing with healers, especially,and quite often it would be one
(02:33):
of the biggest questions is howdo I not take on other people's
stress and when we're, you know,empathic, it can be very easy to
Really tune into what's going onwith others and then, and then
burnout.
And so I wanted to talk to youspecifically about, what exactly
is burnout?
Mm-hmm
Laura (02:54):
Burnout is the idea that, well, let's start with stress,
because everyone experiencesstress.
It's a daily thing.
We all live with it.
But there is a differencebetween being stressed or being
under pressure and burnout.
So stress can be useful.
It can be aggravating when we'retalking about burnout
specifically, there's kind ofthree hallmarks that would
(03:16):
separate burnout from beingstressed.
So the first one is emotionalexhaustion.
So that's the fatigue that weexperienced because we care too
much for too long without thatidea of refilling the cup, so to
speak.
big signal, and I think this isthe one that people tend to
notice first, is thedepersonalization.
(03:36):
So we're talking about depletionof empathy, depletion of
compassion.
It's like, Again, we've justcared for so long.
It's not that we don't care, butwe cannot connect with that
feeling anymore.
It's just, oh great, anotherthing we have to do, another
session we have to run insteadof feeling the joy and the honor
of being able to be in thishealer position.
(03:57):
And the third one is decreasedsense of accomplishment.
And I think this is where peopleget really down and really start
to notice the burnout is feelingof, it doesn't matter what I do,
it's not making a difference.
Not necessarily, I'm going tostop because why should I
bother, but what is this for?
It's not helping anyone.
(04:17):
So those are the three big signsI would say that someone is
experiencing burnout rather thanstress.
Lisa Brandis (04:25):
Yeah, interesting.
Laura (04:26):
Yes.
Lisa Brandis (04:27):
How do we recognize it?
Because I would imagine andprobably looking at my own
experience, these things creepup slowly.
And, you know, you can have onereally good day where you feel
amazing.
And then you have a couple ofreally low days.
And then after a while, the lowdays become more than the great
days.
So, you know, I would imagine,and from my own experience as
(04:48):
well, it can be quitechallenging to recognize and
identify that you might beexperiencing burnout.
So is there any telltale signs?
Laura (04:56):
Yeah, absolutely.
And it is one of those thingswhere we start to think again
about we chronically stressed oris this burnout?
Because obviously chronic stressis something that lasts for a
long period of time.
There's the idea as well thatnot all stress is a bad thing.
Some, some exciting things likebuying a house or having a child
are incredibly stressful,although they're very positive
(05:16):
experiences.
And I think a lot of the timepeople think, but this is such a
good thing.
Why am I burned out?
I'm doing the, the job I'vealways wanted to do.
Why do I, why am I notconnecting with it anymore?
So there's a whole range ofsymptoms, so to speak.
So physical signs include thingslike issues, breathing,
(05:37):
digestive issues, painfulmuscles, headaches, even issues
like a heart rate and bloodpressure.
Being elevated, sleepdisturbances, the things you'd
kind of recognize, mental signscan be things like jumping to
conclusions, tunnel vision,blaming others, catastrophizing,
(05:58):
overgeneralizing is a big one.
I recognize in a lot of myclients as well.
And then probably really thebiggest one that I notice is
just that disconnect.
So just knowing that you'resupposed to be enjoying your
time with your family and yourfriends and just not, just not
being
Lisa Brandis (06:16):
Yeah.
Laura (06:17):
that.
Lisa Brandis (06:19):
Yeah.
And could that be described asjust kind of a numbing sensation
where you just, yeah, thatfeeling of kind of floating
through your experiences withoutfeeling the ups and the downs or
is it different to that?
Laura (06:32):
And this is where it tends to get very messy because
all the things we've describedalso could be applied to if
you're dealing with anxiety, ifyou're dealing with depression,
if you're dealing with grief,believe it or not, a lot of
those signs are
Lisa Brandis (06:45):
Yeah.
Laura (06:45):
So it is really, I feel knowing yourself, what this is,
and then knowing when to gethelp.
maybe it is a break.
Maybe you need to see a doctor.
Lisa Brandis (06:57):
Yeah.
Laura (06:57):
balance
Lisa Brandis (06:58):
Yeah.
And you know, I think we find ashealers that quite often people
that.
don't want to go and see apsychologist or don't
necessarily want to go to thedoctor.
It's almost like a bit more of agentle way of easing them into
perhaps a recommendation or atransition to a therapist.
It's like a safe kind of funexperience.
It's a bit nurturing.
(07:19):
They're, they're not necessarilybeing labeled with anything by
us.
We do not diagnose in ourtherapy.
So, you know, obviously you andI come with other skills, you
know, I am a clinicalhypnotherapist, like you're, you
know, you're a trainedcounselor.
So we have these othermodalities that sit alongside
the Reiki healing that we offerpeople, but I have found,
through the thousands ofstudents I've taught that it is
(07:40):
a safe place for people to come.
And kind of first admit thatthey're having problems because
a lot of us in society, we justsquash, we suppress, we don't
like those negative emotions.
And so quite often people willgo to all kinds of different
ways of distracting ourselves.
And in today's day and age,there's certainly no shortage of
(08:01):
distractions is there to kind oftake us out of.
Oh
Laura (08:05):
gosh.
Lisa Brandis (08:06):
absolutely.
So it sounds to me from whatyou're saying, the first thing
we need to do is identify thatwe're having a problem because
we have to also move through,you know, that we might be in
denial.
I know it wasn't me that broughtthe awareness to the help that I
needed when I experiencedburnout.
It was my husband and one of mybest friends.
And I was literally stillarguing with them saying, no, I
don't have a problem.
(08:27):
I don't have a problem becauseit felt too big to recognize and
identify.
And I just didn't want to stopthe busyness that I had.
And exactly what you said, youknow, I'm doing the work that I
love.
It's part of my calling.
I was.
Born to do this work.
So it had nothing to do with thejob, my purpose, my calling,
(08:48):
because all those are the sameand haven't changed.
It was just the way in which Iwas working.
That was slowly over time,depleting my energy to the point
of being in dysfunction, in astate of dysfunction.
And I did actually getpsychology.
You know, I went and saw apsychologist that was a big step
for me as a healer and assomeone who teaches and empowers
(09:10):
people.
And you know, is, is the, thestandard I held for myself, and
I'm sure there's other leadersand healers that would recognize
and identify in this.
It took a lot of courage for meto admit that I was actually
having mental struggles.
And even for a long time, Ididn't talk about it with my
students because again, I had toprotect that vulnerable part of
(09:32):
me that was in pain.
And processing the healing I wasgoing through, but I think it's
important to acknowledge that wecan still be an amazing healer
and have, you know, mentalhealth issues and we can still
doing amazing work and stillneed to get help and support,
you know?
So I think that the human aspectand the spiritual aspect co
(09:52):
exist, don't they?
Laura (09:53):
We're not one thing or the other.
And even the way you werespeaking about that, being a
healer and being a leader andbeing a mentor and a teacher is
obviously a massive part of whoyou identify as.
Lisa Brandis (10:05):
Oh,
Laura (10:06):
swoop in and say, not that you're not doing it right,
but there's somethinginterfering with it.
That's a huge issue then withself identity.
So
Lisa Brandis (10:15):
and it was a massive.
Laura (10:16):
kind of
Lisa Brandis (10:17):
Yeah, massive identity
Laura (10:18):
top.
Lisa Brandis (10:18):
crisis,
Laura (10:19):
Yeah.
Lisa Brandis (10:20):
and of course my big turning point story was that
I used to have anxiety andBecoming a Reiki master changed
all that for me.
So my big story oftransformation and And I'd never
experienced burnout, burnoutcame later in my life, but my
big transformation story wasthat you know Reiki healed My
(10:41):
mental illness back then, so tothen identify that, Oh, it's not
doing it's, it hasn't, it hasn'tremained that way for my entire
life, you know, that, that,
Laura (10:52):
Yeah.
Lisa Brandis (10:52):
was the part that I found, you know, it was almost
like I'm, I'm running retreatsand I'm teaching people.
So that's why it took me so longto identify that I had the issue
because of exactly what yousaid.
It was that it was a crisis ofidentity.
Who am I then, you know, if not,yeah.
And the bigger the following,the worse it felt, right?
(11:14):
And I had a big following.
I still do, but it was, yeah,huge pressure.
Laura (11:18):
imposter syndrome
Lisa Brandis (11:19):
Oh my God.
Laura (11:19):
there is going to say, well, if you're such an amazing
healer, why haven't you fixedyourself?
Lisa Brandis (11:24):
Yeah, exactly.
But you know what the bigbreakthrough came?
It came when my mum, I rocked upon mum's door, sobbing my heart
out.
And she said to me, Lisa, you'renot a robot.
And it was like, Is someonegiving someone that loves me
dearly, my mother giving mepermission to be human, like to,
(11:44):
and it was the pressure, notanyone else put on myself.
It was all the pressure thatcame from me to live up to this
unrealistic standard ofhappiness and recognizing that
the minute I took the pressureoff myself and when I don't have
to be, you know, I don't have tobe anyone's guru or anyone's
spiritual teacher.
I just have to be me.
(12:05):
And then.
It allowed me to continueworking, but from a place of new
authenticity.
Yeah.
Laura (12:12):
because
Lisa Brandis (12:12):
So we don't, how dare you
Laura (12:13):
be a human with feelings, like, what were you thinking?
Lisa Brandis (12:17):
and you know, what I found is that the students
related to me, they're like, OhGod, you too.
Right.
Cause it actually made me morerelatable because people all
have struggles and I neverjudged anyone else.
Just judged my own, which waspart of my, you know.
Part of, yeah, my makeup and,and how I'm wired.
(12:37):
So what advice would you give tohealers that struggle with a
similar kind of experience,Laura?
Either fear of being judged oreven fear of taking care of
themselves and getting the helpthat they need.
Laura (12:51):
I think one of the interesting exercises that I've
done with clients is to, andwe've all done it, imagine you
were talking to your bestfriend.
Would you
Lisa Brandis (13:00):
Yeah.
Laura (13:01):
friend, be a robot, stop feeling, keep working, you've
got to do this, nobody's goingto take you seriously, if you're
not doing, doing, doing, youwould never say that to your
best friend, or to your mum, orto your child, no way on earth
would you do that.
I think the first step would be,speak to yourself with more
compassion.
(13:22):
More kindly.
If you are not in a place whereyou are ready to hear it, that's
okay too.
But trust the people who aretelling you.
if you're seeing your healer andthey're saying, look, I'm a bit
worried.
You seemed like you seem likeyou're heading down the road to
burnout.
Or your mom says to you, yourhusband or your best friend says
to you, Hey, something feels alittle bit off.
(13:44):
you trust
Lisa Brandis (13:44):
Mm.
Laura (13:45):
Do you trust the
Lisa Brandis (13:46):
Mm.
Laura (13:47):
they're giving you Because it's coming from a place
of love.
Lisa Brandis (13:50):
Yeah.
Laura (13:50):
Listen to the people that love you and treat yourself with
some compassion because this isa human experience.
It is completely normal to begoing through these sorts of
very human experiences.
Lisa Brandis (14:04):
Yeah, so perfect.
And that's exactly what I endedup doing as part of my recovery
from burnout was learning how tobe kinder with myself.
And what I found, Laura, whichis interesting, is that kindness
is one of my top values, as iscompassion.
And over time, the burnoutslowly eroded my self love and
(14:25):
my self compassion.
That's why it was a surprisethat I was no longer being kind
to myself.
Because, you know, learning tolove myself was something I did
20 years ago.
That was the early days oflearning Reiki.
And I've been practicing now for22 years.
So I really wanted to, pointthat out to people.
Self love is an ongoingpractice.
(14:47):
And it's something that, youknow, we, we constantly have to
work at.
And sometimes we don't recognizewhen we've gone off track.
I didn't recognize I was beinghard on myself.
Others were seeing it, but Ididn't believe I was.
And I think that's part of thedistortion.
We don't see ourself clearlywhen we're in a bit of a
dysfunctional state.
(15:08):
And funny enough, I wascatastrophizing and it was my
accountant that said to me,cause I was in some panic over
some financial thing.
She actually pointed out to methat I was catastrophizing.
And how did she know it?
Because she had had anxiety.
She had had someone pointed outto her a therapist, and then she
(15:29):
was able to identify it withinme.
And she was the one that told meto go to my mum's.
She said, just take yourself toyour mum's.
You need to get some help,right?
Love comes in all differentplaces and from all different
people, right?
The time we need it.
So,
Laura (15:43):
Absolutely.
Lisa Brandis (15:47):
So,
Laura (15:47):
that idea that you mentioned of guilt,
Lisa Brandis (15:50):
yes, yeah, yeah.
Guilt plays a big part in it,self care and guilt.
Laura (15:56):
absolutely.
And taking the time you need tolook after yourself is, I think,
one of the biggest hurdlesbecause we are very conditioned
to keep going, keep working,keep doing the things.
You've got a to do list you haveto take care of.
And like we spoke aboutyesterday, the thing that
probably makes me madder thanjust about anything in the world
(16:19):
One of the top things, um, iswhen people say you have to fill
your cup so you can give toothers.
It's like, no,
Lisa Brandis (16:26):
Yeah.
Laura (16:27):
Just, you should fill your cup because you're a human
being.
I'm getting so aggravated justthinking about it.
You should fill your cup becauseyou're a human being and you are
deserving of looking afteryourself.
And a lot of people strugglewith that idea because again,
it's
Lisa Brandis (16:42):
Yeah,
Laura (16:42):
I'm a mom, I'm a carer, I'm a healer.
I have to do all these thingsfor all these other people.
It's like, no.
You should just look afteryourself.
And people find that really,really uncomfortable.
Lisa Brandis (16:55):
Yeah.
I noticed like even your energychanged when you spoke about it
and you said yourself it makesyou angry.
What about that makes you angry?
What is it exactly about that,that popular notion that, that
kind of,
Laura (17:13):
piece of conditioning, isn't it?
You have to be nice, you have tobe caring, you have to be good,
you have to look after otherpeople.
You can, you can just go die ina hole, nobody cares about you,
but you have to die lookingafter all these other people.
Lisa Brandis (17:27):
Yeah,
Laura (17:28):
chronic.
Lisa Brandis (17:30):
So to totally reframe that, and I love it
because the, the.
You know, quite often there isreal wisdom in the things that
irritate us in society.
And, and it's because thenprofound change comes from the
people like you, Laura, thatspeak up about a notion and
challenge it.
Cause sometimes we just acceptthese things as a given.
(17:52):
It's almost like women arenurturing, right?
All these kind of ideas thathealers care for others.
We're caring, nurturing peopleas part of our identity, part of
our natural predisposition aswell that, you know, empathic
people, especially those thatare attracted to healing
modalities or counseling, we'renaturally caring, empathic
(18:12):
people.
So it's easy for us to fit intothat mold of wanting to take
care of others.
So.
What would be the idealsituation for you if we were to
flip that on its head and not beabout self care for others?
What is the opposite of thatlook like for you?
What's the ideal state thatwomen, you know, being that
that's our, mostly our audience,what would women
Laura (18:37):
You are deserving of boundaries.
You are deserving of care.
You're deserving of lookingafter yourself, just because you
are you.
You don't have to do more, bemore, give more.
You're worthy of care, justbecause you're you.
You're deserving of everything.
Lisa Brandis (18:56):
to sit with that for a minute because that's
powerful.
That's powerful.
And do you know, I think back toone of, I asked an amazing
mentor and therapist, a tip whenI was first starting out in this
career, I said, Oh, give me, Iwas like, I was expecting some
profound, it was profound, butit was not what I was expecting
(19:18):
her to say.
And she looked me in the eye andshe said to me, the way that you
can be the best therapist youcan be Lisa, is to love people.
Because what we're all cravingis more love and what you do so
naturally and effortlessly andeasily is love others.
And from that basis ofopenhearted connection and true
(19:41):
authentic love people feel thatand in the resonance of that
people heal people like, andexactly what you just described
is just the state of love, notbecause you deserve it, not
because you've, you know.
done backflips or, you know,achieved an award or had lots of
people at a workshop, right?
(20:01):
You, you're loved because it's abasic human need.
We all deserve it.
And we shouldn't have to ask forit.
A bit like the sun shines on usall every day.
So, love is there for us toreceive and feel and express
wouldn't it be nice, if we couldtake it one step further,
wouldn't it be nice if westarted there rather than
(20:24):
waiting until we've burnt outbefore we get the help, what if
we just Get help because it'sfun to do get help because it's
so nice to have someone just runenergy on you.
What if we don't have to go to ahealer because we feel like
something's wrong in our life?
What if we go to a healer justto maintain a sense of, balance
(20:45):
and, to kind of catch thingsbefore they get.
Out of balance, just to increasea sense of wellbeing.
Not necessarily happiness, butwhat about just to bring us back
to ourself,
Laura (20:59):
I have a theory that I love and I'd like to do more
with it.
I call it unglamorous or boringself care because we all love a
bubble bath and a massage and afacial, but sometimes self care
is.
you need to go to the doctor?
Have you made your appointment?
When did you see the dentistlast?
Have you drunk enough water?
Are you taking your medicationlike you're supposed to?
(21:21):
Were you supposed to have thatblood test that your doctor
requested and you haven't doneit yet?
So all of these, these routine,boring things that really do
contribute to our health andwellbeing.
So why not have Reiki?
Why not have a massage?
Why not see a therapist?
Just as a routine part of, I'm ahuman being, I'm trying to look
after myself.
Lisa Brandis (21:42):
Yeah.
Laura (21:43):
I will do these things.
Lisa Brandis (21:46):
To me it makes perfect sense and I know from
all of my experiences, I see myhypnotherapist once a month, we
do a share with each otherbecause we're both therapists
and we realize the benefit of,you know, sitting down and
having someone else kind of helpus.
with the challenges that we'refacing.
And let's be honest, if you'rehuman, there's challenges just
(22:06):
around the corner.
And to be honest, if you know,for those of you that are
interested in growth, growthhappens from that place of
discomfort, which means we'rebeing challenged.
We're either creating thechallenge to grow and stretch,
because we want to thrive inlife.
And I just can't think of anyreason why it shouldn't be part
of our normal, natural, selfcare.
(22:28):
And I love that it doesn't haveto be glamorous, right?
And it can be times when we goto the healer and open up and
have a big cry, or we go to thehealer and we share and express
all the incredible things thatare going on in our life as
well.
It's just nice to have thatsupportive partnership that is
there 100 percent for you.
And they're to guide you in whatit is.
(22:51):
That is important for you toexplore and just to sometimes
have, I know from my ownexperience, sometimes just a
healer can hold space for uswhen we have lost that self
kindness and that compassion andthey can walk us through those
negative, icky feelings andemotions that we don't really
want to let out of our body.
(23:12):
They can hold space to allow usto do it and it just seems to
flow a lot more effortlesslythen and doesn't feel as hard as
if we tried to do it all on ourown.
Laura (23:21):
The therapist relationship, they specifically
that when they talk aboutpsychologists and things, they
often say that the relationshipwith your therapist is the most
important thing.
It doesn't matter if they'redoing CBT or ACT or whatever the
modality is, the connection withthat person that's the most
important part.
And I feel like that's same withanything, same with any healing
(23:43):
relationship, any friendship,knowing that you've got that
person that you can connect withis so vital to, to self care, to
boundaries, to everything.
Lisa Brandis (23:56):
I absolutely agree and connection is needed now
more than ever, because I thinkwe feel we're connecting through
social media, but it actuallyhas been proven that it's not a
real connection and zoom has itsplace, podcasts and things like
this have.
It's place in society, butthere's just nothing truly like
sitting opposite someone personto person, getting a hug,
(24:19):
sharing a cup of tea and evensharing and expressing who you
are.
It's needed and, and from abiological state, we actually
need it to thrive.
We need human touch.
We need human connection.
And I think we have an epidemicright now of people that are
missing that and craving it andprobably don't even know that
(24:39):
they are.
I've loved it.
We've talked about burnout.
We've talked about the signs andhow to identify it.
We've looked at, how chronicstress shows up differently to
natural stress in short termexperiences, how it can have a
physiological effect as well as,emotional, we've looked at, Ways
(24:59):
we can get support both in selfcare, but also reaching out and
getting help.
You did mention boundaries and Iknow this is something that a
lot of people do suffer with.
Do you have anything you want toshare around in particular
having good healthy boundaries?
Laura (25:15):
But obviously the boundary that you have with a
child is going to be differentto a boundary that you have with
your workmates, for example.
So it's identifying therelationship.
What is acceptable to you inthat relationship?
Controversially, I'm going tosay sometimes that needs to be
flexible.
So if you're at work and thereis an absolute urgent deadline,
(25:35):
but your boundary is that youleave at 4.
30 on the dot because your hoursare done.
it's a one off thing andsomebody says to you, please, we
need you to stay.
Could you help us out with thisthing?
okay for you to bend yourboundary that one time?
Maybe it's okay.
Maybe it's not.
But that's for you to decide.
And then, I guess, re reboundreeing the relationship is going
(25:57):
to be important.
So, can you live with?
What is acceptable to you?
What is not draining to you?
Because then if you're startingto feel resentful, or like
you're always doing the giving,maybe that's the time where you
need to look at that boundaryand say, okay, maybe it's
probably a bit too flexible now,or I'm not being clear enough
about it, or the other personisn't respecting what I've asked
(26:19):
for.
kind of deciding how you'regoing to reel that back and
determine how you're going toset that up again.
Lisa Brandis (26:27):
Yeah.
I think that's actually not sucha controversial response.
It makes total sense to me,Laura.
So thank you for saying itbecause, and I see it the same
as, you know, with balance.
It's almost like find life, workbalance and it's like, well, can
we really have a balance?
Like we spend more time at workthan we do at home and we spend
more time sleeping somewhat, youknow?
(26:48):
So, and again, balance fallsinto that same category of, as.
Yeah, what's working for us.
So I love that.
And sometimes we again needsomeone to share that with, to
be able to help us to work outwhat is, you know, what is
meaningful for us in ourrelationships.
And then how do we communicateeffectively if we feel like
someone's taking advantage.
(27:08):
And that is where the difficultconversations come in and having
some You know, wise guidance onhow to best do that to maintain
the strength and the love of therelationship is usually really
valuable, Laura.
So again, you've got so manyskills that you can offer to
people, in terms of, both thecounseling and I love that it's,
(27:29):
fortified with Reiki as well.
So people have that opportunityto experience both sides of your
modalities.
So is there anything that youwould like to share?
In addition to what we'vealready spoken about today.
Laura (27:43):
I would just say, notice when something is making you
uncomfortable.
And that's, it's probably an oddthing.
So whether it's a feeling or aperson or a situation, and pay
attention to it.
I think particularly again, aswomen and healers, if something
makes us uncomfortable where wetend to just push through
(28:03):
because we need to see theclient, we need to earn the
money, we need to take care ofthe thing.
But that feeling of anxiety orfear or apprehension it's there
for a reason.
Lisa Brandis (28:16):
Mm,
Laura (28:16):
that's
Lisa Brandis (28:16):
Mm,
Laura (28:17):
with a lot with my clients.
Quite often it's like, Oh, Idon't have any reason to feel
this particular way.
It's
Lisa Brandis (28:24):
Mm,
Laura (28:25):
Yeah, you do.
Lisa Brandis (28:26):
Mm.
Laura (28:26):
if it turns out that we explore that and, you know, do
the therapy around it and do theReiki around it, maybe it's
legitimate feeling.
I, I just, in general, wouldlove it if people paid more
attention to how they feel,About things.
Lisa Brandis (28:42):
Yeah, and to me that ties into what I teach as
well with your intuition, thatgut, that gut feeling, that gut
connection, that first thought.
I wrote about it in my book, awhole situation where I had
those feelings.
We called them red flags in theend when we worked out, there
was not just one red flag, but Ikept making excuses for the way
(29:03):
I felt because I wanted to bekind or wanted to help or felt
that I should be.
And we do it so much where weput others needs above our own
and make their needs moreimportant than what we're
feeling.
So that's a really valid pointfor people, especially empaths
and
Laura (29:19):
Yeah.
Lisa Brandis (29:20):
lightworkers to really.
You know, validate theiremotions, validate their
feelings, and, I think there'snothing more important to be
honest, and, and it is thegateway to our intuition, our,
our emotions tell us when we'rein alignment, you know, and when
we're not, so speaking of that,I would love to bring Anya
through because I like at theend of these, interviews,
Laura (29:42):
Okay.
ANYA (29:42):
The human is a very complex experience and we like
that you both have resonatedwith the different ways in which
emotions can bring to thesurface, complex issues that are
best dealt with.
Within relationships, there isquite often mirrors to your
(30:03):
experience that can be reflectedthrough one another and through
the very powerful connection.
It is the very thing that allowsyou to sense and feel when
you're in alignment and whenyou're living life to an
accordance with what brings you.
A sense of peace and a sense ofconnection and happiness.
(30:23):
And there are many differentstrategies and many different
techniques that you can engage.
We like that healers, takedifferent tools and techniques
and lean on different ones atdifferent times in order to find
clarity and in order to findpeace around certain
circumstances.
(30:46):
And what we also would like toremind you is that it's not as
difficult as you think.
So quite often humans get verycaught up in resistance and
fighting the very emotions andthere is a tendency to suppress
them when in fact if they justallowed that emotion to come up
and sat with it for a fewmoments and brought just simply
(31:09):
an awareness.
To what they're feeling and whatthey're thinking and what
they've experienced.
It doesn't take much to gain aneutral perspective on it, which
is part of what we do when weblend with our human
counterparts is bring a morebalanced perspective to the
very, at times, hot emotionalexperiences.
(31:33):
We say hot as in thefluctuations of energy and the
rise and falls and the peaks andtroughs of life's experience.
And it is where we find the mostinterest.
It is part of our desire to helphumans learn how to navigate
through the challengingsituations with more ease and
(31:53):
more grace.
And part of that is exactly asyou two have described and have
spoken about.
It is about self understanding,self compassion, bringing love
to any problem or challenge thatyou're facing.
There is always a spiritualsolution to any problem.
It doesn't necessarily comewith.
(32:15):
is sometimes the solutions thatwill actually ease the bigger
burden may have to go through achallenging experience in order
to bring about change.
And that is where support canbest help you navigate through.
The difficulties of change whenand if it's the right time for
(32:35):
that person to do so.
We would, love to answer anyquestions if you have one for
us, Laura.
Laura (32:48):
I guess just, am I on the right track with all of this?
Because this hybrid way ofworking,
ANYA (32:55):
Brings about its challenges.
Laura (32:58):
Yeah.
ANYA (32:59):
Yes.
Well, the thing is, is thatthere are limitations within
some of the therapeuticpractices and they don't from
what we're feeling and tuninginto from you.
They don't always take into anaccount the energetic experience
of the human and the energeticway in which humans interact.
In fact, everything is energy,but the mental modality Faces,
(33:23):
the problems and challengesthrough a mental lens and an
emotional lens and doesn'tnecessarily take into the bigger
underlying beliefs that alsocontribute to.
The challenges that human face.
So we always suggest that youoperate in a way that is
integral with your own valuesand your own principles and your
(33:48):
own beliefs.
And that might mean that atdifferent times you have to wear
different hats.
It might mean that in order tosatisfy the legalities or the.
Recommendations of one modalitymight be that it's experienced
in total separation to another,and so it's offered as perhaps a
different experience for people.
(34:09):
There will be a underlyingconnection that runs as a thread
through what it is that you doand how you operate.
We have seen through Lisa'sexperience that in the
beginning, In the early yearswith little experience, it was
much easier for her to followthose that have gone on before
and follow the rules as that waslaid out for her to do so,
(34:30):
because someone that does nothave a breadth of experience
within a certain modality doesbest to just follow the rules
until they themselves have thatbreadth of experience.
Once they have, they understandthrough their own personal
experiences where those rulescan be applied and where they
can be, Gently moved around.
(34:53):
Does that make sense?
So for the for always for thebenefit of the client and the
therapeutic relationship as awhole and when there is that
integrity that stands at.
As the basis with which you workis to work in a, in a way of
(35:13):
assisting the outcome ispositive for the, for the
interaction together.
It can be, it can be gentlynavigated and it, and it is also
an understanding of checking inwith yourself as to whether you
know the work that you're doingis in, is in balance.
(35:34):
And is working in an ethicalway, and when you know that it
is, you can rest assured.
Whether you would get othersacknowledge different
modalities, perhaps it would notcome if they have not yet
experienced it themselves.
So sometimes there is just ablanket no, because they do not
understand what it is.
And without the breadth ofunderstanding what it is, it's
(35:54):
hard for them to make a decisionto say yes or no.
So sometimes they just stickwith the modality that is known.
And they make rules around thatone because there are so many
different ways that humans caninteract in so many different
modalities.
And again, as you said earlier,that also depends on the needs
of the human and some modalitiesjust simply will not resonate
(36:16):
with some humans.
So therefore it would make sensethat you put on the clinical hat
for that person and someone thatis totally open to energy and
loves it and has experienced it.
So has that full breadth ofunderstanding and awareness,
then they would.
It would make sense that youcould lean into that area with
them.
We have enjoyed this interactionand look forward to connecting
(36:37):
with you all again.
Namaste.
Lisa Brandis (36:44):
Thank you again, Laura, for sharing your wisdom
and heart with us today.
So for those who would love toconnect with you and learn more
about your work, how can theyfind you?
Laura (36:55):
My website is lauramcvay.
com.
au, I am on most of the socialmedia sites as well.
And I'm working on being moreconsistent about posting
particularly Reiki videos, so docome over and encourage me
there.
Lisa Brandis (37:08):
Beautiful.
Do you have any special offersfor our listeners?
Laura (37:13):
Listeners can receive 10 percent off their first
individual session using thecode POD10.
So P O D 1 0.
That's valid for the next sixmonths.
Lisa Brandis (37:23):
Wonderful.
Thank you so much, Laura.
And I will put all Laura's linksto be able to access that
special rate, at the end in theshow notes.
So thank you again, Laura, forsharing your wisdom and heart
with us today.
Thank you to everyone who'slistening.
Remember taking care ofyourself.
Isn't a luxury.
(37:44):
It's a necessity.
Until next time, be kind toyourself, honor your energy and
keep shining bright.
See you in the next episode.
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