September 11, 2024 • 27 mins
Ever wondered how to make homeschooling both effective and enjoyable for your kids? Amanda Schenkenberger, a dedicated homeschool coach from Portland, Oregon, joins us to share her incredible journey from being homeschooled herself to coaching other moms. Gain firsthand insights on how Amanda turned her passion into a thriving business and learn her tried-and-true methods for fostering independent learning in children, even those with unique learning needs.
Discover the profound educational benefits of starting with your child's interests—whether it's Minecraft, Pokémon, or any other passion—making learning an engaging and meaningful experience. Amanda discusses how leveraging these interests can introduce more challenging subjects seamlessly. Plus, she offers fresh perspectives on socialization, emphasizing the value of mixed-age interactions over traditional peer-to-peer relationships. This conversation will reshape your understanding of socializing while homeschooling, showcasing how diverse connections enhance learning and foster meaningful relationships.
Looking to create a structured yet flexible homeschool schedule that aligns with your family's lifestyle? Amanda shares actionable advice on building effective schedules, including time-blocking and theming parts of the day. Hear about her personal experiences with local homeschool groups and co-ops, and get tips on finding and starting your own groups. Whether you're just starting or looking to refine your approach, Amanda's insights and practical strategies will help you manage both educational and personal growth, turning homeschooling into a fulfilling journey for the entire family.
Find Amanda Here:
https://www.facebook.com/mandy.schenkenberger/
Mama Mental Wellness Guide: https://www.sydneycrowe.com/mamamentalwellness589191
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, hey, everybody.
Welcome back to ConqueringChaos A Mom's Guide to Self-Care
and Sanity.
Today we have AmandaSchenkenberger, and she is
located over in Portland, Oregon.
She helps homeschool moms calmthe chaos, create a schedule and
build strong bonds with theirkids so that everyone can
(00:20):
experience joyful connection andrigorous academics.
At the same time, she leveragesher own experience as a
homeschool individual andhomeschooling mother of four
inside the Homeschool FamilyAcademy, where she coaches other
moms to educate curious mindsand cultivate courageous spirits
.
I love that, Amanda.
I'm so excited to connect witha homeschool coach because
(00:42):
homeschooling has definitelybeen something on my radar.
That always feels reallyunattainable for somebody like
myself who has a very busyschedule.
So why don't you fill thelisteners in a little bit about
who you are, how you got to be ahomeschool coach and kind of
what you're all about there?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yeah, thank you.
So I, like you said, I washomeschooled as a kid and I had
this very idyllic childhoodgrowing up where I got to be
outside with our dogs.
We bred horses, and so I got alot of play in in my childhood.
But when I hit my teens, myparents ended up divorcing and I
(01:20):
had to go to public high schooland I was so nervous about this
.
I remember my first day likewhere I was sitting in the
classroom, the teacher's name,like sweat dripping down my face
and honestly, I was verynervous because I had very
little formal learning and Ithought to myself well, these
(01:40):
kids have been sitting in thesedesks their whole life to excel
academically and that's notwhere my focus has been and I
think I'm going to fail.
And so when the teachers firstposted grades during that first
quarter, it turns out I didn'thave any reason to think that,
because I was placing near thetop of all my classes and I
(02:03):
thought, oh my gosh, these kidshave been stuck inside to these
chairs and I'm doing better thanthem.
I think I know a better way tolearn.
And so I knew, yeah, 15 yearsold, I was like when I have my
kids, I am homeschooling them, Iam not putting them in here
Like I had life situation.
This is the only place I had tolike go and learn now, since my
(02:25):
mom was a single mom and she wasworking full time.
And so that's kind of where thejourney began and I've always
been my friends called me ahomeschooling evangelist, so I
stopped trying to get me tohomeschool, amanda, but it's
great, it's amazing, you shouldtry it.
And then one day I just feltlike a call from God to turn it
(02:47):
into a business and I had a.
I had some business experienceonline before with a product
based business and okay, and soI gave it a shot and it turns
out.
I love it and it's amazing, andI love coaching and seeing
families thrive and just sharinga lot of that joy and that
peace that I've gotten in ourown homeschool and that
connection, that connectionpiece is really important to me.
(03:10):
So that's that's kind of how Igot started and I just I'm all
about the homeschooling.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I love that.
So how old are your kids now?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
So I have four boys, and they are four, seven, nine
and 11.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Okay, so that's like I mean you're in the thick of it
, right?
Like primary school is very, Iwould say, a labor intensive
from you know, a parenting likehands-on perspective.
How do you manage that at alldifferent grades?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, yeah.
So I think number one that'sit's a great question, and
that's even moms who arecurrently homeschooling and
they're like in that thick of it, like how do you balance all of
this?
And I think number one is aboutempowering our children to
foster that independent learningright that you can go and learn
on your own, that self-directedlearning.
(04:01):
What do you want to learn about?
How do you best learn?
How can I support you in this?
How can we turn this intosomething fun and explore, while
also providing foundations likelanguage arts and mathematics?
So, until my kids can read ontheir own which now I just have
the four-year-old who'sbeginning to read until that
(04:22):
point there's a lot of hands-onwork for me, but my older two,
they are grades ahead and theydo all their work independently
from me.
Now there's some like we'llwrite papers together.
Or, if they can't at this pointactually I'm not if they can't
get a math problem, we have toGoogle it, like I.
Just I'm like you're way beyondme in math, like I don't, I
(04:42):
don't remember, you know.
So we learned together, butthey are fully in charge of
their own homeschoolingexperience.
And if what we're doing isn'tworking for them, like mom, this
is boring.
Okay, let's figure out why thisis boring.
Oh, they're having you repeatthe same thing that you know
over and over again.
Yeah, this isn't going to workfor us, because you know this.
(05:04):
Let's find something that fitsyou better.
So it's a lot of dialogue, alot of working and collaboration
, while allowing them to take iton their own and learn at their
own pace.
My seven year old is a littlebit of a different beast because
he just struggles with managinghis emotions.
He's super bright, can read,but he's very hands-on, as much
(05:27):
as my four-year-old is when itcomes to learning.
So that's a little bit of adifferent scenario.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Okay, and I mean both my girls have learning
challenges so they have modifiedprograms in the public system.
Would you say thathomeschooling is available to
all kids?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Oh yeah, absolutely Absolutely, I think, especially
for kids who are differentlearners.
Like I said, my seven-year-old.
He's exceptionally bright.
He is reading.
He's seven and he's reading ata seventh grade level.
That's what he's testing at.
So he's very bright.
He just struggles with thisemotional piece that when he
doesn't understand something, hethinks like the world is
(06:07):
falling to pieces and I'm likenothing's wrong, like today,
there's nothing wrong, you don'tneed to be upset, it's okay to
ask for help, like I have to askfor help all the time, buddy
and he's like okay, you know,our kids that are on you know
have any kind of learningchallenge or are on the spectrum
(06:28):
in any way.
Homeschooling is actually abetter option for them,
especially when we can work intandem with, possibly like an OT
or a specialist, because theremight be some tools we need that
could help them along the way.
But that's so available to usnow online through the internet,
if we're wanting to go more, aDIY route.
And yes, so I think 100% it canbe even better for our kids
(06:53):
that have learning challengesbecause they have that devoted
time with the person who lovesthem the most.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I love this so much.
Now, in terms of time, you'vegot two kids that are fairly
independent with their learning.
You've got two that maybe needquite a bit more hands-on.
How much time during the dayare you guys spending doing
homeschooling?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
yeah.
So my oldest two.
They spend about two hoursdoing homeschool.
You know 45 minutes math.
Maybe you know half hour artsand then whatever we're kind of
filling things in with based ontheir interests.
And then there's, you know,social time that we'll do with
friends or things of that nature.
But the other two thefour-year-old, because he's so
(07:36):
young, our school time, formallearning time, is like 20
minutes maximum and everythingelse is just fun.
We're playing outside, we'regoing exploring.
Let's see what else are some ofthe things we do.
We draw, he loves to draw, hethinks it's fun.
We bake together and I don'tconsider any of that formal
(07:58):
learning.
But when we sit down to learnall the letters and their sounds
, we don't really spend morethan about 20 minutes on that.
With my seven-year-old we spendmore time and that really
depends for him, simply becauseof the emotional piece.
For him we can get school donein 45 minutes or it might take
(08:18):
two hours because of the amountof breaks we need to take and
the calming we need to do andthe talking through we need to
do.
So.
For him it quite varies, but ifhe's on it having a good day,
it'll be 45 minutes to an hour.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I think this is amazing, and so do all of your
boys go through the same programor are they in different
programs?
Cause homeschooling is likethere's there's a lot of options
out there and like how do youpick?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Yeah, yeah.
So there there are a lot ofoptions and this is where I feel
like it's one of the beyondlike okay, I'm committed to
homeschooling.
That you know.
That's the first hurdle.
The second hurdle really comesin with this vast amount of
homeschooling curriculum optionsthat are out there.
And I honestly tell parentsthat's actually not where we
(09:06):
want to start, because if youare limited on time, that's
going to change the curriculumyou choose.
So we can't go dig around forcurriculum until we understand
your schedule fully.
So and you know, if we're doingthis in tandem with grandma or
there's a lot of online learning, right, we need to make sure,
before we go do our research,what is actually available to us
(09:30):
according to what we need toinvest with our time.
So what we do is I alwayschoose up through elementary
school is an open and gocurriculum, and with an open and
go curriculum, it basically Iopen it and then I literally
read it to them.
It says parent, read this, likeokay, I can do that, and so
(09:55):
then it tells me what to say,and then it gives us an activity
to do and then it gives them,usually like a work page or a
way to apply whatever they'vejust learned and when they
become solid readers they can godo that on their own.
So for us we mostly use thegood and the beautiful through
elementary school and now that Ihave one in middle school we're
(10:18):
kind of playing with differentthings, seeing what works for
him.
It's our first go around.
He's actually taking a highschool science class because his
passion is in high school, likehis passion is science, and so
we've got like on the other sideof this wall is a dead dogfish
we're going to dissect soon,which I'm not super excited, but
(10:38):
you know he is excited.
So again it gets back to okay,what do I have time for, what
can I invest?
And then what is my child'spassion?
And that varies for all of them.
I was just talking to mynine-year-old and he really is
interested in robotics and howdifferent electronic mechanics
work and I'm like, well, whydon't we go get you an old
(11:00):
computer from Goodwill and youcan take it apart and see, put
it back together and it'll turnon Right, just to give him the
opportunity to explore hispassions.
So again, at elementary ages Ishoot for open and go curriculum
and then, as they start headingtowards those middle school
years, really begin topersonalizing it based on what I
(11:20):
can invest and what theirinterests are.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I love that and I mean, you've touched on
something that I didn't evenimpute on, and that's the
investment for homeschooling.
So there's obviously a verywide spectrum with that.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Yeah.
So there's financial investment, time investment.
So thinking about what time canI invest?
Because I'm a working mom, Ihave to be able to quickly
communicate to my husband whatmy children need, and so that's
one of the reasons we have anopen and go curriculum, because
I'm like, okay, read this lessonto him.
And he's like, okay, I can dothat, you know.
(11:58):
So it's easy to pass on.
But also thinking about thefinancial piece, right?
The high school course wepurchased was a very nice,
expensive course in itself, andthen we had to purchase an
entire package to go with it ofdifferent test tubes, a
microscope, this dogfishstarfish, a different fluid,
(12:20):
like I don't even know what it'sall for.
But we chose to make thatinvestment because that's where
his passion lies and thatcultivating that love of
learning and helping him go deepin what he's passionate about
is really where homeschoolingshines, and that's what I want
to prioritize.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I think this is really like.
I'm just fascinated by thewhole premise because, like I
said, it's definitely somethingthat I've always dreamed of.
I think it's the right phrase.
We love to travel and thefreedom that can come along with
that, because I think educatingour kids outside of the
classroom is very, very valuable, but a lot of times you're
(12:58):
constricted to the schedule oryou have a teacher that maybe
doesn't want to spend the timeto send work home to so that
they don't fall behind, or youknow it's, it's really
challenging, and so to have thatfreedom, but I've always just
kind of held it in like thisideal bubble where I'm like, oh,
maybe one day, when they'relike self-sufficient, like high
(13:18):
school, they can do onlinelearning and it'll be okay, and
you know.
So I'm really intrigued by thiswhole idea that there's and
that you can really just helpthem.
Like you said, your, your wordswere foster their passion, and I
think that that's really,really important, especially in
today's day and age, becausewhen I was growing up, it was
super important to check all theboxes right Go to high school,
(13:40):
go to college, get a job, getmarried, like all these things.
And now that I'm getting tokind of like midlife.
I'm like, well, maybe thatwasn't the best course of action
.
There's a hundred million pathsthat they can take and so
having those opportunities andthose options so that they can
figure it out at such a youngage, I think is phenomenal, Like
it's really special, what youguys are able to do.
So if you were to talk toparents that were maybe
(14:09):
considering homeschooling or inhomeschooling and maybe not
having the best experience.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
What would that piece of advice be for them that you
would give them?
Yeah, so thinking about thischild-led learning whenever in
my own family like we're goingthrough a rough time with
homeschooling or we're justhaving a rough relationship like
, for example, I thinkhomeschooling number one is an
extension of parenting.
It's parenting more in depth andso, yes, there are new skills
(14:34):
you have to learn, but it'sreally just an extension of that
parenting figure and authorityand connection that you have
with your kids.
So whenever we're struggling,whether it's around
homeschooling or just in ourrelationship, I always go back
to what are my kids interestedand how can I show them that
that's valuable, right?
So one of my kids lovesMinecraft.
(14:54):
Mom, will you watch me makethis hotel in Minecraft?
Yeah, honey, I'll watch you dothat.
I would love to.
Oh, look at you.
That's such a good building.
Oh, that's so creative.
Right, in pouring out my wordsand my attention, right, my time
, I'm investing it with him toreally establish that
(15:14):
relationship.
Are there some educationalbenefits to Minecraft?
Maybe a little, right, maybe alittle, but the point is, if
we're having a rough timehomeschooling or we're wanting
to begin homeschooling, leaninto your children's interest.
Show them that what they careabout is valuable, because when
(15:36):
you do that, you are gettingtheir buy-in to the learning
process.
Because a lot of times kids arelike oh, I don't like school.
Well, they might not like thebuilding, they might not like
what's done in the building, buthomeschooling is in a
completely different learningprocess and if you can get them
to see that this learningprocess is valuable and what you
(16:00):
want to research or learn aboutis valuable and I'm interested
in it because you're interesting, that's where you begin.
Because then when you become inand like, suggest, like what do
you think about doing some ofthis stuff from home?
What do you think about doingschool with me?
But it's, it wouldn't look likewhat it looks like at school.
It would kind of look like whatwe've been.
(16:21):
You know, when we've researchedyour squid project, or you
wrote me a song or you knowwhatever it is, you painted me
that picture.
It would look more like that.
What do you think about that?
Suddenly, you now really havetheir buy-in, because they're
already invested in theirpassions, they've already seen
the connection that it bringswith you and they're genuinely
(16:42):
interested.
And so if you were alreadyhomeschooling, you start from
there like, okay, then you babystep your way back into those
subjects that maybe were causingsome contention or were really
a struggle for them tounderstand, and again starting
with what they care about andthen easing into those new
(17:03):
things or those things that werecausing problems before.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
That's really, really sound advice and I think a lot
of parents, whether youhomeschool or not, it's so
important to you know lean intothose connection pieces so that
you can have that connectedrelationship as they get older.
Sorry, I had a question andit's just kind of evaded me.
Oh, the social piece.
So when it comes tohomeschooling, a lot of the
stigma is, you know well, theydon't have a social life or they
(17:29):
don't have that peer to peerkind of relationships.
How do you foster those withyour kids?
Do you guys have like ahomeschooling pod or what does
that look like for you guys?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Yeah.
So it's really interesting thatyou mentioned peer to peer
relationships, because one ofthe things that public school
does that you're not going tofind anywhere else in the world
is that it segments youaccording to your age, which
really devalues the kind ofrelationship you can develop
with somebody who's older andfurther along, or and then to
(18:01):
see how I can help the littleones that I am valuable and I
can contribute to somebody who'syounger than me.
It separates all that and so,while I think peer to peer is
important, I'm not so concernedabout like okay, you're 11.
Are you exactly 11?
You know?
like okay you're 11, 12, 13.
Okay, great.
Or you're 8, 9, 10.
(18:21):
Perfect, let's see what kind ofrelationship we can cultivate,
because I think that's where therichness really comes in, in a
relationship where we can seehow we can cultivate, because I
think that's where the richnessreally comes in, in a
relationship where we can seehow we can collaborate.
Maybe you know I'm 11 and thiskid is seven and he really wants
to talk about Pokemon.
Well, I do like Pokemon.
Oh, he doesn't quite understandmath.
Maybe I can help him understandmath by playing Pokemon,
(18:45):
because the like you know thehit points, the HP right.
Like I can help him understandmath through Pokemon, because
the like you know the hit points, the HP right.
Like I can help them understandmath through Pokemon because we
both like it Right.
And so there's a collaborationthat that happens when we first
of all allow our kids tointeract with children who are
different ages.
But it's so funny you bring inthe socialization piece, because
(19:05):
I heard that as a homeschoolkid.
You know people would ask me ohhoney, where do you go to
school?
And I'm like oh, I'mhomeschooled.
And they were like but you'renot weird, yeah, thank you.
Like, what do you say to thatas a kid, and so it's all about,
and that's one of the thingsthat I got so much experience in
(19:26):
as a homeschool kid.
I was heavily involved in asport that had a variety of ages
, it's called vaulting, it'sgymnastics on horseback, and so
we worked as a team, and sothere's sports number one.
Those have always been around.
That's how I got a lot ofsocialization.
But now there are homeschoolco-ops, so we're part of a
homeschool co-op with kids.
Let's see, they're between theages of 13 and who's the
(19:49):
youngest?
I think my little one's theyoungest, 13 and four, and we'll
do things together.
I'll do a little teaching andthen we'll work on a project
together, but then, like my boys, go to jujitsu and we've got
friends that live three hoursfrom us that we'll talk to on
Zoom, you know.
So there's so many differentways to connect and with a lot
of connection actually movingonline.
(20:10):
That's even it's evolving evenas we speak, and so I think that
getting plugged into acommunity is not just essential
for the kids but also for mom tofind that support.
But it's so easy now to findkids that you want your children
to interact with in thehomeschooling world, because
(20:32):
it's become so popular.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah, I mean that's really cool and like are there
websites?
Or like how would you find ahomeschooling pod?
Like, we live in a pretty smalltown and I mean our neighbors
homeschooled last year and theysaid that one of the pieces for
them was that all of thesesocialization pods were an hour
away.
So they would go to the cityevery once in a while, but you
know, my neighbor didn't reallywant to do that on a regular
(20:55):
basis.
So any recommendations on that?
Or is like like how do parentsfind them?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah.
So first of all, if you live ina small city and you're not
finding one, the first place Iwould go is Facebook groups.
That's where I would go.
I would search local Facebookgroups like homeschool group,
homeschool co-op, that sort ofthing, and if you don't find one
, start one like just be aninitiator and be like okay, I
can have kids over my house oncea week, or we can go meet in
the woods, like you told me.
You live near Banff.
We can go meet in the woods.
(21:27):
When it's above zero outside Dopeople ski and that and
snowboard.
We just got to get dressed upand it'll be fine, right, yeah,
so I would honestly just starton.
A Facebook group is where I is,where I would go.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Interesting, okay, and I know that you have a
resource that we're going to putin the show notes called
homeschool family scheduletemplates, cause that is where
you specialize is like reallyhelping people dissect their
schedule what is attainable,what's not.
Do you want to just talk alittle bit about that for the
listeners?
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Yeah, so I have this method of creating a schedule
for your homeschool family life,like your dream lifestyle.
What do we want it to look like?
And what we need to do isbasically take out all of those
dreams and aspirations that arein your head and segment them
into time blocks and theme partsof our day.
(22:21):
And when we can theme parts ofour day, then we can begin
piecing out routines.
And then we could say so-and-sois doing this and so-and-so is
doing this, and then I'll bedoing this over here.
And then you put it's like mindmapping all of your entire day.
Okay, this is what Monday isgoing to look like here.
It's Tuesday, wednesday,thursday right, maybe Friday's a
free day, and you just map outwhat you want your days to look
(22:45):
like and then, if, oh, thisdoesn't work here in the morning
, let's try and move this to theafternoon.
You can move these piecestogether to just kind of trial
and error to see what works andwhat doesn't work and when we
can get our schedule piecefigured out which can be a lot
for people, because this iswhere we get into executive
(23:05):
functioning skills and then like, oh, I'm not on time or
so-and-so is giving me a lot ofpushback and it's time for us to
transition.
How do I deal with thisrelationship issue?
A lot will come up when webegin to hone in on our schedule
, but once we do, we can thencreate these pockets of time for
connection, these pockets oftime where, okay, I'm struggling
(23:28):
as a mom with by being calm andbeing kind.
So how do I work on me right sothat I can show up for my as my
best self, for my kids, andthen how can I help them
co-regulate All those things?
But we got to first dial in theschedule before we can really
create those pockets of time foryou.
So this is really foundationalto all of my teachings, because
(23:51):
once we get that right, we canbegin to build on it.
It's just a really strongfoundation.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Perfect.
And when you are coachingclients, do you find, like, is
it like a building block, likeyou just said?
So it's just kind of triggered,like, or do you just help
people kind of set it up in thebeginning and that's, that's the
end?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah, so I have two programs.
One is the I call it 60 days toconsistency, and that's where
we're working on your scheduleand we're really honed in.
We come up with a SMART goalfor you, we build your schedule
out like okay, and then we finetune it together over 60 days
and we do that as a community.
But then I have a year-longprogram called HeartSmart
(24:29):
Homeschool Moms and that's where, once we get this schedule
piece finalized, we can then gofrom there and begin building on
there, because as we figure outthis homeschooling thing, it
does come with a very steeplearning curve.
Our children change and theygrow and then we're growing and
realizing things.
Then maybe there's some lifeshifts, right, like mom wants to
(24:52):
go back to work, or maybe we dostart that co-op next year.
How do I create time for that?
All of those sort of things isreally where I want to help.
That's really where I do helpmoms over the long journey of
working with me for a year, andthen some of my clients now have
been with me for a year and ahalf, or you know we're going on
two years and so.
(25:12):
But really like initially likeokay, let's.
It's going to take some time tonot just figure out the
schedule, but there's a lot ofpieces, a lot of moving pieces,
so let's spend a year together.
I'm committed to you, you'recommitted to homeschooling.
We'll work together to figureout all these pieces to build
the homeschooling life of yourdreams.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Amazing.
Well, that's really.
Yeah, like I said this, thisconversation is just super
insightful for me because it hasbeen something that has been on
my radar for a while, as I like.
Wouldn't that be nice one day.
Before we sign off, Is thereone piece of advice that you
would love to give the moms orthe homeschooling parents out
there?
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Yeah, so I don't have a homeschooling mom just yet,
but yeah, especially for themore for the moms who are
thinking about it, and if it'sthe call on your heart to
homeschool your mom, there's nobetter time than the present
there really is, because as ourkids get older, pulling them out
of school can become moredifficult.
And then not only are youtrying to undo your own thinking
(26:14):
about school like thetraditional public school, now
you've got to undo what they'vehad, you know, been doing for
years, and so it's just a hardershift.
So the younger we can start,the better, and really beginning
and developing that love oflearning.
And the easiest place to dothat is to lean into their
passions and show them that whatthey're curious about is
(26:36):
valuable.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Perfect.
Well, I appreciate that youguys.
We'll make sure to have thathomeschool family schedule
template in the show notes foryou.
Amanda, it's been so lovelyconnecting with you today and I
appreciate all of your insighton homeschooling.
And thank you guys for tuninginto today's episode where we
help you conquer the chaos oneday at a time.
Hey, hey, everybody.
Welcome back to ConqueringChaos A Mom's Guide to Self-Care
and Sanity.
Today we have AmandaSchenkenberger, and she is
located over in Portland, Oregon.
She helps homeschool moms calmthe chaos, create a schedule and
build strong bonds with theirkids so that everyone can
(00:20):
experience joyful connection andrigorous academics.
At the same time, she leveragesher own experience as a
homeschool individual andhomeschooling mother of four
inside the Homeschool FamilyAcademy, where she coaches other
moms to educate curious mindsand cultivate courageous spirits
.
I love that, Amanda.
I'm so excited to connect witha homeschool coach because
(00:42):
homeschooling has definitelybeen something on my radar.
That always feels reallyunattainable for somebody like
myself who has a very busyschedule.
So why don't you fill thelisteners in a little bit about
who you are, how you got to be ahomeschool coach and kind of
what you're all about there?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yeah, thank you.
So I, like you said, I washomeschooled as a kid and I had
this very idyllic childhoodgrowing up where I got to be
outside with our dogs.
We bred horses, and so I got alot of play in in my childhood.
But when I hit my teens, myparents ended up divorcing and I
(01:20):
had to go to public high schooland I was so nervous about this
.
I remember my first day likewhere I was sitting in the
classroom, the teacher's name,like sweat dripping down my face
and honestly, I was verynervous because I had very
little formal learning and Ithought to myself well, these
(01:40):
kids have been sitting in thesedesks their whole life to excel
academically and that's notwhere my focus has been and I
think I'm going to fail.
And so when the teachers firstposted grades during that first
quarter, it turns out I didn'thave any reason to think that,
because I was placing near thetop of all my classes and I
(02:03):
thought, oh my gosh, these kidshave been stuck inside to these
chairs and I'm doing better thanthem.
I think I know a better way tolearn.
And so I knew, yeah, 15 yearsold, I was like when I have my
kids, I am homeschooling them, Iam not putting them in here
Like I had life situation.
This is the only place I had tolike go and learn now, since my
(02:25):
mom was a single mom and she wasworking full time.
And so that's kind of where thejourney began and I've always
been my friends called me ahomeschooling evangelist, so I
stopped trying to get me tohomeschool, amanda, but it's
great, it's amazing, you shouldtry it.
And then one day I just feltlike a call from God to turn it
(02:47):
into a business and I had a.
I had some business experienceonline before with a product
based business and okay, and soI gave it a shot and it turns
out.
I love it and it's amazing, andI love coaching and seeing
families thrive and just sharinga lot of that joy and that
peace that I've gotten in ourown homeschool and that
connection, that connectionpiece is really important to me.
(03:10):
So that's that's kind of how Igot started and I just I'm all
about the homeschooling.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I love that.
So how old are your kids now?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
So I have four boys, and they are four, seven, nine
and 11.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Okay, so that's like I mean you're in the thick of it
, right?
Like primary school is very, Iwould say, a labor intensive
from you know, a parenting likehands-on perspective.
How do you manage that at alldifferent grades?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, yeah.
So I think number one that'sit's a great question, and
that's even moms who arecurrently homeschooling and
they're like in that thick of it, like how do you balance all of
this?
And I think number one is aboutempowering our children to
foster that independent learningright that you can go and learn
on your own, that self-directedlearning.
(04:01):
What do you want to learn about?
How do you best learn?
How can I support you in this?
How can we turn this intosomething fun and explore, while
also providing foundations likelanguage arts and mathematics?
So, until my kids can read ontheir own which now I just have
the four-year-old who'sbeginning to read until that
(04:22):
point there's a lot of hands-onwork for me, but my older two,
they are grades ahead and theydo all their work independently
from me.
Now there's some like we'llwrite papers together.
Or, if they can't at this pointactually I'm not if they can't
get a math problem, we have toGoogle it, like I.
Just I'm like you're way beyondme in math, like I don't, I
(04:42):
don't remember, you know.
So we learned together, butthey are fully in charge of
their own homeschoolingexperience.
And if what we're doing isn'tworking for them, like mom, this
is boring.
Okay, let's figure out why thisis boring.
Oh, they're having you repeatthe same thing that you know
over and over again.
Yeah, this isn't going to workfor us, because you know this.
(05:04):
Let's find something that fitsyou better.
So it's a lot of dialogue, alot of working and collaboration
, while allowing them to take iton their own and learn at their
own pace.
My seven year old is a littlebit of a different beast because
he just struggles with managinghis emotions.
He's super bright, can read,but he's very hands-on, as much
(05:27):
as my four-year-old is when itcomes to learning.
So that's a little bit of adifferent scenario.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Okay, and I mean both my girls have learning
challenges so they have modifiedprograms in the public system.
Would you say thathomeschooling is available to
all kids?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Oh yeah, absolutely Absolutely, I think, especially
for kids who are differentlearners.
Like I said, my seven-year-old.
He's exceptionally bright.
He is reading.
He's seven and he's reading ata seventh grade level.
That's what he's testing at.
So he's very bright.
He just struggles with thisemotional piece that when he
doesn't understand something, hethinks like the world is
(06:07):
falling to pieces and I'm likenothing's wrong, like today,
there's nothing wrong, you don'tneed to be upset, it's okay to
ask for help, like I have to askfor help all the time, buddy
and he's like okay, you know,our kids that are on you know
have any kind of learningchallenge or are on the spectrum
(06:28):
in any way.
Homeschooling is actually abetter option for them,
especially when we can work intandem with, possibly like an OT
or a specialist, because theremight be some tools we need that
could help them along the way.
But that's so available to usnow online through the internet,
if we're wanting to go more, aDIY route.
And yes, so I think 100% it canbe even better for our kids
(06:53):
that have learning challengesbecause they have that devoted
time with the person who lovesthem the most.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I love this so much.
Now, in terms of time, you'vegot two kids that are fairly
independent with their learning.
You've got two that maybe needquite a bit more hands-on.
How much time during the dayare you guys spending doing
homeschooling?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
yeah.
So my oldest two.
They spend about two hoursdoing homeschool.
You know 45 minutes math.
Maybe you know half hour artsand then whatever we're kind of
filling things in with based ontheir interests.
And then there's, you know,social time that we'll do with
friends or things of that nature.
But the other two thefour-year-old, because he's so
(07:36):
young, our school time, formallearning time, is like 20
minutes maximum and everythingelse is just fun.
We're playing outside, we'regoing exploring.
Let's see what else are some ofthe things we do.
We draw, he loves to draw, hethinks it's fun.
We bake together and I don'tconsider any of that formal
(07:58):
learning.
But when we sit down to learnall the letters and their sounds
, we don't really spend morethan about 20 minutes on that.
With my seven-year-old we spendmore time and that really
depends for him, simply becauseof the emotional piece.
For him we can get school donein 45 minutes or it might take
(08:18):
two hours because of the amountof breaks we need to take and
the calming we need to do andthe talking through we need to
do.
So.
For him it quite varies, but ifhe's on it having a good day,
it'll be 45 minutes to an hour.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I think this is amazing, and so do all of your
boys go through the same programor are they in different
programs?
Cause homeschooling is likethere's there's a lot of options
out there and like how do youpick?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Yeah, yeah.
So there there are a lot ofoptions and this is where I feel
like it's one of the beyondlike okay, I'm committed to
homeschooling.
That you know.
That's the first hurdle.
The second hurdle really comesin with this vast amount of
homeschooling curriculum optionsthat are out there.
And I honestly tell parentsthat's actually not where we
(09:06):
want to start, because if youare limited on time, that's
going to change the curriculumyou choose.
So we can't go dig around forcurriculum until we understand
your schedule fully.
So and you know, if we're doingthis in tandem with grandma or
there's a lot of online learning, right, we need to make sure,
before we go do our research,what is actually available to us
(09:30):
according to what we need toinvest with our time.
So what we do is I alwayschoose up through elementary
school is an open and gocurriculum, and with an open and
go curriculum, it basically Iopen it and then I literally
read it to them.
It says parent, read this, likeokay, I can do that, and so
(09:55):
then it tells me what to say,and then it gives us an activity
to do and then it gives them,usually like a work page or a
way to apply whatever they'vejust learned and when they
become solid readers they can godo that on their own.
So for us we mostly use thegood and the beautiful through
elementary school and now that Ihave one in middle school we're
(10:18):
kind of playing with differentthings, seeing what works for
him.
It's our first go around.
He's actually taking a highschool science class because his
passion is in high school, likehis passion is science, and so
we've got like on the other sideof this wall is a dead dogfish
we're going to dissect soon,which I'm not super excited, but
(10:38):
you know he is excited.
So again it gets back to okay,what do I have time for, what
can I invest?
And then what is my child'spassion?
And that varies for all of them.
I was just talking to mynine-year-old and he really is
interested in robotics and howdifferent electronic mechanics
work and I'm like, well, whydon't we go get you an old
(11:00):
computer from Goodwill and youcan take it apart and see, put
it back together and it'll turnon Right, just to give him the
opportunity to explore hispassions.
So again, at elementary ages Ishoot for open and go curriculum
and then, as they start headingtowards those middle school
years, really begin topersonalizing it based on what I
(11:20):
can invest and what theirinterests are.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I love that and I mean, you've touched on
something that I didn't evenimpute on, and that's the
investment for homeschooling.
So there's obviously a verywide spectrum with that.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Yeah.
So there's financial investment, time investment.
So thinking about what time canI invest?
Because I'm a working mom, Ihave to be able to quickly
communicate to my husband whatmy children need, and so that's
one of the reasons we have anopen and go curriculum, because
I'm like, okay, read this lessonto him.
And he's like, okay, I can dothat, you know.
(11:58):
So it's easy to pass on.
But also thinking about thefinancial piece, right?
The high school course wepurchased was a very nice,
expensive course in itself, andthen we had to purchase an
entire package to go with it ofdifferent test tubes, a
microscope, this dogfishstarfish, a different fluid,
(12:20):
like I don't even know what it'sall for.
But we chose to make thatinvestment because that's where
his passion lies and thatcultivating that love of
learning and helping him go deepin what he's passionate about
is really where homeschoolingshines, and that's what I want
to prioritize.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I think this is really like.
I'm just fascinated by thewhole premise because, like I
said, it's definitely somethingthat I've always dreamed of.
I think it's the right phrase.
We love to travel and thefreedom that can come along with
that, because I think educatingour kids outside of the
classroom is very, very valuable, but a lot of times you're
(12:58):
constricted to the schedule oryou have a teacher that maybe
doesn't want to spend the timeto send work home to so that
they don't fall behind, or youknow it's, it's really
challenging, and so to have thatfreedom, but I've always just
kind of held it in like thisideal bubble where I'm like, oh,
maybe one day, when they'relike self-sufficient, like high
(13:18):
school, they can do onlinelearning and it'll be okay, and
you know.
So I'm really intrigued by thiswhole idea that there's and
that you can really just helpthem.
Like you said, your, your wordswere foster their passion, and I
think that that's really,really important, especially in
today's day and age, becausewhen I was growing up, it was
super important to check all theboxes right Go to high school,
(13:40):
go to college, get a job, getmarried, like all these things.
And now that I'm getting tokind of like midlife.
I'm like, well, maybe thatwasn't the best course of action
.
There's a hundred million pathsthat they can take and so
having those opportunities andthose options so that they can
figure it out at such a youngage, I think is phenomenal, Like
it's really special, what youguys are able to do.
So if you were to talk toparents that were maybe
(14:09):
considering homeschooling or inhomeschooling and maybe not
having the best experience.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
What would that piece of advice be for them that you
would give them?
Yeah, so thinking about thischild-led learning whenever in
my own family like we're goingthrough a rough time with
homeschooling or we're justhaving a rough relationship like
, for example, I thinkhomeschooling number one is an
extension of parenting.
It's parenting more in depth andso, yes, there are new skills
(14:34):
you have to learn, but it'sreally just an extension of that
parenting figure and authorityand connection that you have
with your kids.
So whenever we're struggling,whether it's around
homeschooling or just in ourrelationship, I always go back
to what are my kids interestedand how can I show them that
that's valuable, right?
So one of my kids lovesMinecraft.
(14:54):
Mom, will you watch me makethis hotel in Minecraft?
Yeah, honey, I'll watch you dothat.
I would love to.
Oh, look at you.
That's such a good building.
Oh, that's so creative.
Right, in pouring out my wordsand my attention, right, my time
, I'm investing it with him toreally establish that
(15:14):
relationship.
Are there some educationalbenefits to Minecraft?
Maybe a little, right, maybe alittle, but the point is, if
we're having a rough timehomeschooling or we're wanting
to begin homeschooling, leaninto your children's interest.
Show them that what they careabout is valuable, because when
(15:36):
you do that, you are gettingtheir buy-in to the learning
process.
Because a lot of times kids arelike oh, I don't like school.
Well, they might not like thebuilding, they might not like
what's done in the building, buthomeschooling is in a
completely different learningprocess and if you can get them
to see that this learningprocess is valuable and what you
(16:00):
want to research or learn aboutis valuable and I'm interested
in it because you're interesting, that's where you begin.
Because then when you become inand like, suggest, like what do
you think about doing some ofthis stuff from home?
What do you think about doingschool with me?
But it's, it wouldn't look likewhat it looks like at school.
It would kind of look like whatwe've been.
(16:21):
You know, when we've researchedyour squid project, or you
wrote me a song or you knowwhatever it is, you painted me
that picture.
It would look more like that.
What do you think about that?
Suddenly, you now really havetheir buy-in, because they're
already invested in theirpassions, they've already seen
the connection that it bringswith you and they're genuinely
(16:42):
interested.
And so if you were alreadyhomeschooling, you start from
there like, okay, then you babystep your way back into those
subjects that maybe were causingsome contention or were really
a struggle for them tounderstand, and again starting
with what they care about andthen easing into those new
(17:03):
things or those things that werecausing problems before.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
That's really, really sound advice and I think a lot
of parents, whether youhomeschool or not, it's so
important to you know lean intothose connection pieces so that
you can have that connectedrelationship as they get older.
Sorry, I had a question andit's just kind of evaded me.
Oh, the social piece.
So when it comes tohomeschooling, a lot of the
stigma is, you know well, theydon't have a social life or they
(17:29):
don't have that peer to peerkind of relationships.
How do you foster those withyour kids?
Do you guys have like ahomeschooling pod or what does
that look like for you guys?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Yeah.
So it's really interesting thatyou mentioned peer to peer
relationships, because one ofthe things that public school
does that you're not going tofind anywhere else in the world
is that it segments youaccording to your age, which
really devalues the kind ofrelationship you can develop
with somebody who's older andfurther along, or and then to
(18:01):
see how I can help the littleones that I am valuable and I
can contribute to somebody who'syounger than me.
It separates all that and so,while I think peer to peer is
important, I'm not so concernedabout like okay, you're 11.
Are you exactly 11?
You know?
like okay you're 11, 12, 13.
Okay, great.
Or you're 8, 9, 10.
(18:21):
Perfect, let's see what kind ofrelationship we can cultivate,
because I think that's where therichness really comes in, in a
relationship where we can seehow we can cultivate, because I
think that's where the richnessreally comes in, in a
relationship where we can seehow we can collaborate.
Maybe you know I'm 11 and thiskid is seven and he really wants
to talk about Pokemon.
Well, I do like Pokemon.
Oh, he doesn't quite understandmath.
Maybe I can help him understandmath by playing Pokemon,
(18:45):
because the like you know thehit points, the HP right.
Like I can help him understandmath through Pokemon, because
the like you know the hit points, the HP right.
Like I can help them understandmath through Pokemon because we
both like it Right.
And so there's a collaborationthat that happens when we first
of all allow our kids tointeract with children who are
different ages.
But it's so funny you bring inthe socialization piece, because
(19:05):
I heard that as a homeschoolkid.
You know people would ask me ohhoney, where do you go to
school?
And I'm like oh, I'mhomeschooled.
And they were like but you'renot weird, yeah, thank you.
Like, what do you say to thatas a kid, and so it's all about,
and that's one of the thingsthat I got so much experience in
(19:26):
as a homeschool kid.
I was heavily involved in asport that had a variety of ages
, it's called vaulting, it'sgymnastics on horseback, and so
we worked as a team, and sothere's sports number one.
Those have always been around.
That's how I got a lot ofsocialization.
But now there are homeschoolco-ops, so we're part of a
homeschool co-op with kids.
Let's see, they're between theages of 13 and who's the
(19:49):
youngest?
I think my little one's theyoungest, 13 and four, and we'll
do things together.
I'll do a little teaching andthen we'll work on a project
together, but then, like my boys, go to jujitsu and we've got
friends that live three hoursfrom us that we'll talk to on
Zoom, you know.
So there's so many differentways to connect and with a lot
of connection actually movingonline.
(20:10):
That's even it's evolving evenas we speak, and so I think that
getting plugged into acommunity is not just essential
for the kids but also for mom tofind that support.
But it's so easy now to findkids that you want your children
to interact with in thehomeschooling world, because
(20:32):
it's become so popular.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah, I mean that's really cool and like are there
websites?
Or like how would you find ahomeschooling pod?
Like, we live in a pretty smalltown and I mean our neighbors
homeschooled last year and theysaid that one of the pieces for
them was that all of thesesocialization pods were an hour
away.
So they would go to the cityevery once in a while, but you
know, my neighbor didn't reallywant to do that on a regular
(20:55):
basis.
So any recommendations on that?
Or is like like how do parentsfind them?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah.
So first of all, if you live ina small city and you're not
finding one, the first place Iwould go is Facebook groups.
That's where I would go.
I would search local Facebookgroups like homeschool group,
homeschool co-op, that sort ofthing, and if you don't find one
, start one like just be aninitiator and be like okay, I
can have kids over my house oncea week, or we can go meet in
the woods, like you told me.
You live near Banff.
We can go meet in the woods.
(21:27):
When it's above zero outside Dopeople ski and that and
snowboard.
We just got to get dressed upand it'll be fine, right, yeah,
so I would honestly just starton.
A Facebook group is where I is,where I would go.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Interesting, okay, and I know that you have a
resource that we're going to putin the show notes called
homeschool family scheduletemplates, cause that is where
you specialize is like reallyhelping people dissect their
schedule what is attainable,what's not.
Do you want to just talk alittle bit about that for the
listeners?
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Yeah, so I have this method of creating a schedule
for your homeschool family life,like your dream lifestyle.
What do we want it to look like?
And what we need to do isbasically take out all of those
dreams and aspirations that arein your head and segment them
into time blocks and theme partsof our day.
(22:21):
And when we can theme parts ofour day, then we can begin
piecing out routines.
And then we could say so-and-sois doing this and so-and-so is
doing this, and then I'll bedoing this over here.
And then you put it's like mindmapping all of your entire day.
Okay, this is what Monday isgoing to look like here.
It's Tuesday, wednesday,thursday right, maybe Friday's a
free day, and you just map outwhat you want your days to look
(22:45):
like and then, if, oh, thisdoesn't work here in the morning
, let's try and move this to theafternoon.
You can move these piecestogether to just kind of trial
and error to see what works andwhat doesn't work and when we
can get our schedule piecefigured out which can be a lot
for people, because this iswhere we get into executive
(23:05):
functioning skills and then like, oh, I'm not on time or
so-and-so is giving me a lot ofpushback and it's time for us to
transition.
How do I deal with thisrelationship issue?
A lot will come up when webegin to hone in on our schedule
, but once we do, we can thencreate these pockets of time for
connection, these pockets oftime where, okay, I'm struggling
(23:28):
as a mom with by being calm andbeing kind.
So how do I work on me right sothat I can show up for my as my
best self, for my kids, andthen how can I help them
co-regulate All those things?
But we got to first dial in theschedule before we can really
create those pockets of time foryou.
So this is really foundationalto all of my teachings, because
(23:51):
once we get that right, we canbegin to build on it.
It's just a really strongfoundation.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Perfect.
And when you are coachingclients, do you find, like, is
it like a building block, likeyou just said?
So it's just kind of triggered,like, or do you just help
people kind of set it up in thebeginning and that's, that's the
end?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah, so I have two programs.
One is the I call it 60 days toconsistency, and that's where
we're working on your scheduleand we're really honed in.
We come up with a SMART goalfor you, we build your schedule
out like okay, and then we finetune it together over 60 days
and we do that as a community.
But then I have a year-longprogram called HeartSmart
(24:29):
Homeschool Moms and that's where, once we get this schedule
piece finalized, we can then gofrom there and begin building on
there, because as we figure outthis homeschooling thing, it
does come with a very steeplearning curve.
Our children change and theygrow and then we're growing and
realizing things.
Then maybe there's some lifeshifts, right, like mom wants to
(24:52):
go back to work, or maybe we dostart that co-op next year.
How do I create time for that?
All of those sort of things isreally where I want to help.
That's really where I do helpmoms over the long journey of
working with me for a year, andthen some of my clients now have
been with me for a year and ahalf, or you know we're going on
two years and so.
(25:12):
But really like initially likeokay, let's.
It's going to take some time tonot just figure out the
schedule, but there's a lot ofpieces, a lot of moving pieces,
so let's spend a year together.
I'm committed to you, you'recommitted to homeschooling.
We'll work together to figureout all these pieces to build
the homeschooling life of yourdreams.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Amazing.
Well, that's really.
Yeah, like I said this, thisconversation is just super
insightful for me because it hasbeen something that has been on
my radar for a while, as I like.
Wouldn't that be nice one day.
Before we sign off, Is thereone piece of advice that you
would love to give the moms orthe homeschooling parents out
there?
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Yeah, so I don't have a homeschooling mom just yet,
but yeah, especially for themore for the moms who are
thinking about it, and if it'sthe call on your heart to
homeschool your mom, there's nobetter time than the present
there really is, because as ourkids get older, pulling them out
of school can become moredifficult.
And then not only are youtrying to undo your own thinking
(26:14):
about school like thetraditional public school, now
you've got to undo what they'vehad, you know, been doing for
years, and so it's just a hardershift.
So the younger we can start,the better, and really beginning
and developing that love oflearning.
And the easiest place to dothat is to lean into their
passions and show them that whatthey're curious about is
(26:36):
valuable.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Perfect.
Well, I appreciate that youguys.
We'll make sure to have thathomeschool family schedule
template in the show notes foryou.
Amanda, it's been so lovelyconnecting with you today and I
appreciate all of your insighton homeschooling.
And thank you guys for tuninginto today's episode where we
help you conquer the chaos oneday at a time.
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