August 28, 2024 • 37 mins
Ever wondered how to balance family life, work, and mental fitness all at once? Join us for a compelling conversation with Gemma Sharp, the brilliant mind behind Hummingbird Life Academy, as she opens up about her real-life experiences. Gemma's journey with her highly sensitive and strong-willed daughter led her to uncover invaluable insights into emotional and positive intelligence, both crucial for successful parenting and professional life. Her story is not just inspiring but filled with actionable advice for managing anxiety and building emotional resilience.
Discover the transformative power of emotional intelligence and the impact it has on children's learning abilities. Gemma introduces the Mind Wizards program—a comprehensive six-module guide that equips children with the skills they need to manage their emotions, build self-worth, and foster gratitude. This segment is a must-listen for parents who are eager to nurture their child's mental health and prepare them for future success. We also touch on the shortcomings of current educational systems in teaching these essential skills, making a case for the importance of emotional education at home.
Learn about the groundbreaking concept of Positive Intelligence (PQ) and how it can revolutionize your mental fitness. Gemma explains how PQ helps rewire the brain, enabling us to shift from negative to positive states quickly and effectively. She also discusses the Peak program, which offers tailored strategies for corporate environments, entrepreneurial women, and parents. Whether you’re struggling with consistent application of new knowledge or looking to set a resilient example for your children, this episode provides the tools you need to master your mind and emotions for a more fulfilling life.
Find Gemma Here:
https://www.facebook.com/gemma.sharp.3591/
Mind Wizards - https://www.gemmasharp.com/mind-wizards-course?ref=LuBohDFs_kDk6E
Mama Mental Wellness Guide: https://www.sydneycrowe.com/mamamentalwellness589191
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Hey, hey welcome back to conquering chaos.
I'm your host, sydney Crow, andtoday we have the amazing Gemma
Sharp.
Gemma is a mom based out of theUK and she is the founder of
Hummingbird Life Academy.
She is a seasoned professionalwith 35 years in the corporate
world.
She's found her true calling,though, in fostering emotional
(00:20):
and positive intelligence,particularly in the realm of
parenting.
She understands the intricatedance that balancing family life
, work and mental fitness.
She's dedicated to guidingfamilies through the challenges
of stress, anxiety and emotionalmanagement.
She believes that enhancing ourEQ and PQ transforms our
approach to parenting andprofessional life and equips us
(00:43):
with the solid mental fitness,fitness which is crucial for
navigating life's challengeswith resilience and positivity.
Welcome, gemma.
Thank you, sydney, so nice tobe here, it's so nice to
reconnect with you.
I mean, we've been connected nowfor just well over a year.
We found each other kind of inthe same coaching community and
I actually was able to put mykids through your Mind Wizards
(01:06):
program last summer, which isphenomenal, and I can't wait for
us to tell the listeners alittle bit more about that.
But why don't you just kick offand tell the listeners, kind of
, your route, your path forgetting to where you are today?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Okay, thank you.
Yes, so I'm a mom of two.
I have a son who's 15 and mydaughter is 12.
And I sort of started havingchildren a bit later in life and
I wanted four but never gotthat far because I was too old,
so just got two.
And my son was the easiestchild.
He was so laid back, he sleptthrough, he was always really
(01:46):
easy.
And I will openly admit I wasone of those sort of judgmental
mothers where other motherswould say this thing you know,
parenting is so hard and I'd belike, hmm, it really is it
Because he was such a good baby.
You got lucky.
Yeah, yeah, I really did.
And then, about two and a halfyears after he was born, we
(02:08):
decided to have another one andI had my amazing daughter, who
is she is just so brilliant, butshe also has pushed me to my
limits Ever since she was born.
She came out screaming and sheliterally hasn't stopped.
She is, she's, fantastic.
But what I found was I thought Iknew everything about parenting
(02:30):
after having my first, and thenthis totally differently wired
child came into my life and Iwas like I have not a clue what
I'm doing now.
And so I knew she was reallyspecial right from the very
beginning.
She was determined, she knewwhat she wanted, even as a very
(02:51):
young baby, which I think isfantastic, especially in our
girls.
I just it's just reallydifficult to deal with that when
they are little.
You know I want 20, her at 20,to have those amazing strong
qualities.
It's just really difficult toparent a four-year-old who has
these really strong qualities.
So I knew that I had to changemy parenting style.
(03:15):
But that really came to lightwhen she was about seven and she
started having huge emotionalmeltdowns and things got so bad
within our family that she wassaying she didn't want to live
anymore.
And it got to the point whereyou know she was saying things
to me, as a mother, that younever want to hear.
(03:38):
It was just really reallyshocking and a real eye-opener
for me, and I found that Iwasn't dealing with her in a
positive way.
I was parenting her the way Iwas parented and for that type
of child, highly sensitive andstrong willed, it was not the
(03:59):
best combination at all.
So things got to a really quitea dark place for the whole
family when she was about seven.
So I went to the doctor and Isaid look, I need help, let's
just say.
His comment back to me wasbasically it's too bad, go home
and sort it out yourself.
So I thought, right, I'mtotally on my own here Now.
(04:22):
She was then put into thesystem as in.
She was put on a waiting listto see whether she was
neurodiverse in any way, andabout three years later.
So it took quite a long timefor us to get that diagnosis.
But I knew within that threeyears if I didn't.
I knew the waiting list and Iknew that if I didn't do
(04:42):
something myself, that it wasn'tgoing to turn out well for
anybody.
You know I was either going tobe on a one-way ticket to
Australia home again, or bymyself, or you know it wasn't
going to end well.
So I decided to startresearching and I had a bit of
an inkling as to what it mightbe, because she had.
(05:05):
She was highly sensitive toeverything smells, clothes,
taste change and she had a lotof physical symptoms as well.
She was always complaining ofhaving headaches, of having
stomach aches, of not feelingwell, of having a bad tummy.
So she spent a good six monthsunder a pediatrician where they
did a load of tests and theysaid look we, for six months
(05:29):
they said we can't find anythingwrong with her, and so we
actually think it might beanxiety.
So I was like, right, okay.
So I started researching theneverything to do with anxiety,
how it shows up in children, andwhat I found was so much of her
quote, unquote bad behaviorthat I had been parenting in
(05:51):
really the wrong way.
It actually was her copingmechanism for anxiety, and so
when I started to learn how itshows up in the body, how I
could help her, I also thenstarted to learn a heck of a lot
about myself and that I suffera lot from anxiety, but I'm
(06:12):
extremely good at masking it andI would mask it very, very well
.
I knew what I needed to do incertain situations, what mask I
had to put on how I needed to beand it was very much like a
duck floating on a pond andinside with the legs of the duck
(06:32):
like churning inside of me.
And so I started to look at howI was dealing with my anxiety,
how her anxiety was triggeringmy anxiety, and it was just this
big.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
This big, yeah exactly, I 100% relate to all of
that.
You just feel like you'repouring, like barreling down the
mountain at 100 miles an hourand completely out of control.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
She was out of control.
I was out of control and itreally it wasn't a nice place to
be in our family at all.
So I started to then think,okay, well, how can I help?
What can I do?
And what I found was the veryfirst thing the more I worked on
myself, the more I was able toparent her more positively.
(07:21):
And then I started to seebetter results from the
different things that I wasdoing with her.
And one of my friends said tome do you know?
You should teach other parentsthis, because we could all do
with it.
And then I sort of found outthat she got her diagnosis, that
she was ADHD, she was ASD andshe had dyslexia, and so that
(07:43):
gave me another sort of rabbithole to jump into learning about
ADHD, how that affects children, how that affects their
behavior, you know, and how.
Actually I think that I'm alsoneurodiverse as well.
My brother's very strongly ADHDand I'm pretty sure that I'm on
the spectrum as well.
It's always these funnyrealizations that you have.
(08:06):
Yeah, it's always 2020 exactly.
Yeah, I was looking at mydaughter going hmm, she's
displaying that behavior thatactually I have as well.
So that was that was a biglearning curve.
So I then thought, right, well,I will try and help others.
And so I developed Mind Wizards, which is a program for
(08:28):
children and parents that is tohelp them understand their
emotions, manage their thoughts,their behaviors, manage change
more effectively and thencalming techniques that they can
do in order to help themselves.
And although it's primarily forchildren, as you know, I always
(08:53):
sort of say to the parents Ireally want you to do it with
your kids, because you willlearn a lot as well Like I did.
Yeah, that suddenly you'll belooking in the mirror going, oh,
that's interesting, and it is.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I mean, obviously these genetics come from
somewhere.
So when you're starting to dealwith things with your kids, you
start to kind of like selfreflect, like where, where is
this coming from?
Like is this a?
Is this the start of the gene?
Or is this like learnedbehavior, learned genetics, like
is it passing down?
And you know, when you areworking so hard to help your
kids and support your kids, Imean it does do a lot of
(09:27):
self-reflection.
You kind of have to do theself-reflection to help them
even more.
So, right, because you're like,well, where is this coming from
?
And, like you, I think that Iam somewhere on the spectrum
with ADHD as well.
I've dealt with anxiety my wholelife and you know I've also was
(09:48):
able to mask it so well.
I mean, I was just talking.
I've given up drinking about ayear and a half ago, almost 500
days ago.
At this point the time it'srecording and you know I was
talking with my mom just onSaturday night.
She's like I'm so shocked tohear that you feel like you had
anxiety all through yourchildhood because you know, I
never, I never would haveguessed that, and I was like,
(10:09):
yeah, but you know I startedself-medicating with alcohol and
drugs and all of these thingsthat helped me mask it and put
on these, these masks, like youhad said.
Like which mask am I going towear today?
What do I need to do in thissituation to mask my anxiety?
And I got really, really goodat that.
And so, being able to go throughthese programs and help your
(10:29):
kids so that they don't gothrough those like
self-medicating, those copingmechanisms, those masking
mechanisms that we were so ableto do I mean, you and I have had
several conversations, becauseI did have the privilege of
putting my kids through yourprogram last summer and you know
, we we did have a pretty rawconversation about how just
(10:51):
going through these programs andhaving these resources out here
, especially for young girls, isgoing to change the trajectory
of their lives so that when theyget into their early adult
years and their early, you know,twenties, and even into their
thirties, because our brainsdon't fully develop until we're
21 to 25.
Right, so we're giving themthese tools to help them so that
they can learn how to stand upfor themselves and have those
(11:13):
boundaries in place ahead oftime.
Right, because there's so muchextra work that has to happen
when you have to pull back thoselayers again and start fresh.
But when we can help them andempower them at such a young age
to not have that and to havethose clear boundaries, I mean
it's just, it's going to be abeautiful thing for this next
generation.
So I'm really excited.
(11:34):
Why don't you tell the listenersa little bit more?
First of all, we talked aboutPQ and EQ in your bio.
Can you just let the listenersknow what those things are,
because it could be a newtechnology for them.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Yeah, sure.
So EQ is emotional intelligenceand, as you know, you hear a
lot about IQ and IQ is pushed somuch at school and everything
you know reading and writing andEQ is the balance to that.
So reading and writing andlearning all of the practical,
(12:06):
rational things that we need todo is really important.
And yet EQ, which is ouremotional foundation, is so to
me so much more important.
And, in fact, if we teach ourchildren to understand their
emotions, their feelings, howtheir thoughts impact their
(12:26):
emotions and how they managethen their reactions to things,
that is an amazing foundationfor them to then be able to
increase their IQ or to helpthem at school.
And I really believe thatemotional intelligence is
something that should actuallybe taught foundationally at
school first, before they everlearn how to read and write.
(12:48):
It impacts their ability tolearn so much.
When you have a highly anxiouschild sitting in a classroom,
their brain is in fight, flight,freeze and fall and overload.
You know it is sitting there onhigh alert, freaking out, and
(13:11):
their logical brain, wherethey're supposed to be learning
and retaining all of thatinformation, it's offline.
It's not working properly.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
So when we can teach them.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Yeah, exactly yeah.
It's like someone's unpluggedthe computer and until you calm
down and plug that back in, theyare not going to be able to
retain things.
And when we can teach them howto manage their emotions, how to
respond rather than react tothings, then that means that
(13:42):
they're going to be able to calmthemselves down.
And I heard somethinginteresting when I was doing for
the for the corporate side ofthings that 90% of top
performers in businesses havehigh emotional intelligence.
Yeah and yeah.
So when you think it impactsevery part of their life, if
(14:06):
they are not going to be able tomanage their emotions, they're
not going to be able to managetheir stress, they're not going
to be able to manage theiranxiety, that is then going to
impact their relationships.
It's then going to impact theirlearning.
It's going to impact how theyreact and respond to the world
around them.
It just it is the foundation ofeverything.
And if we don't get thatfoundation right, then it's
(14:30):
almost like planting a tree butnot digging those deep roots
into the ground, the tree, thefirst gust of wind that comes
along is going to blow it over.
But when we can have reallystrong emotionally intelligent
roots within ourselves, yeah,when life blows, you know big
hurricanes at us, which is goingto happen?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
we will bend, but we won't break, and that is that's
so important and yes, and we'relike I'm starting to see a
little bit of this in mydaughter's schools.
We have a program that's calledright from the start and it's in
the younger years but it's notenough.
Like, when you look at like theIQ learning and the way that the
(15:11):
school system is set up it isso based on, like reading and
math and writing and all ofthese hardcore skills that are
like you said, they're they'reimportant and they're valuable,
but if their brains are notabsorbing it, their
self-confidence goes down, theystop wanting to try harder, they
stop wanting to go to school atall.
And you know the ratio of thisprogram that my daughters have
(15:35):
in their school.
They get it like, I think,maybe two classes a week in
their entire curriculum andthey're there for, you know,
seven hours a day and they getmaybe two hours of this a week.
So I find that the ratio sobeing able to do these things at
home and go through programssimilar to Mind Wizards is such
(15:55):
a benefit for parents to kind ofhelp their kids lay these
foundations.
So why don't you tell thelisteners a little bit about
Mind Wizards and kind of howthat program you know unfolds
for parents?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yeah, sure.
So it's done in six modules, orthere are six topics that we
cover, and the first one is, tome, is really so important, and
that is Proud to Be Me.
That's where we teach the kidswhy it's so important that they
love themselves first, that theyhave really good self-worth and
(16:29):
rather than self-esteem,because self-esteem is based so
much on external things, onexternal validation, external
markers that they might hit,whereas self-worth is really
internal.
It's believing in yourself andloving yourself, your uniqueness
and understanding that you arethe most important person in the
(16:52):
world and when you can lookafter yourself, then we can look
after others more.
But having that really strongself-worth is so important.
So the first module is allaround building self-worth,
having gratitude, but also, too,when we think about having
gratitude for things externally,it's really important.
I'm really grateful for the sun, for the beautiful house that I
(17:15):
have, my food, my parents,whatever it might be.
But then, turning thatinternally as well and saying
and I'm also proud of somethingabout myself and each day
thinking what am I proud ofabout myself?
It might just be that you wereable to go to school, which, for
a neurodivergent child, is amassive accomplishment, because
(17:37):
schools are not designed forneurodivergent children.
They're not designed for theirbrains at all.
And it's really brave that ourkids can go in every single day
into an environment that is notreally designed for them and
they manage and they cope asbest they can with it.
So it's increasing thatself-worth and understanding
(17:58):
that they are the most importantperson.
And how do I look after myself?
And then we move on to thoughtshow our thoughts are created in
our mind, that our thoughts arenot facts.
They're not true.
It's just the way that ourbrain starts to perceive things.
And what do we do when we havethose reoccurring negative
thoughts and they then impactour emotions?
(18:21):
So that's the third module howdo we balance our emotions?
How do we manage them?
What can we do when we havethese really big, strong
emotions, when we're reallyangry?
And that's something that Iactually found quite difficult
myself, because I was alwaystaught that anger was not an
emotion that we were allowed todisplay at home.
(18:43):
It was.
You can be as happy as you like, but you start being angry and
showing that, oh no, that wasshut down very quickly.
So I internally then became amassive people pleaser where I
had to everything's fine, youknow, and keeping everything and
everybody okay, everything'sfine, you know.
(19:04):
And keeping everything andeverybody okay, because you
don't show those other bigemotions, because that's not
okay.
So helping them understand thatemotions are just energy and
that it's really important thatwe listen to them, that we
process them and that they thisisn't something that I talk
about actually in the program,but just for the parents.
You know, we probably all knowthat emotions get stored in our
(19:25):
body if we don't process them.
This isn't something that Italk about actually in the
program, but just for theparents.
You know, we probably all knowthat emotions get stored in our
body if we don't process them.
And when we don't process thoseemotions and our body stores it
, it actually makes us ill.
Sometimes there's a there'sdis-ease within our body which
then creates disease.
So so we talk about emotionsand then we move on to managing
change, how we can deal withchange, because nobody likes
(19:47):
change.
Change makes all of us feelsuper uncomfortable.
Especially when you'reneurodivergent like that, is
definitely like a very keycharacteristic of their
inability to navigate that on aeven keel keel, yeah, and and
when you're anxious as well,your, your brain is always going
into the future or into thepast, worrying about everything.
(20:10):
How do we come back to what wecan and we can't control and how
do we, you know, make sure thatwe're okay in the moment now?
So we talk about that.
The fifth module is all aboutcalming techniques how we can
calm our bodies down,understanding how our brain
works and why sometimes we flipour lids, and how we can keep
ourselves calm so that we canreconnect with our logical part
(20:32):
of our brain again.
And then the last one is allabout how do we build this into
our routine, how do we build areally strong and firm daily
routine that becomes part of oureveryday life and that's
something that we hope they willcarry on for the rest of their
life.
I want them to look into themirror every morning and smile
at themselves, rather thanlooking at themselves and being
(20:55):
negative, you know.
So that's the program, sort ofin a nutshell, for Mind Wizards.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
And I will say like I love this program.
Like I said, we went through itprobably close to nine months
ago now, at this time of therecording, and so you know my
kids still use a lot of thepractices.
One of my kids still has herhandprint up there.
She gives herself a high fiveevery time she leaves her room
and you know it's that positiveself-talk.
(21:21):
The journaling like what I said, when we started your program,
we were always doing a littlebit of a gratitude journal, but
now they've like implementedthat.
I'm proud of myself todaybecause and it is a really
beautiful thing to be able tolike go back and evaluate, and
sometimes they're like, mom, Ididn't really do anything today
and I was like well, what areyou proud of?
Like?
Are you are you proud of?
(21:46):
Like?
Are you are you proud that youjust stayed happy?
Like are you proud that youdidn't lose your cool today?
Are you proud that you ate allyour vegetables?
Like?
You know it can be like such awide variety, but it forces them
to really think aboutthemselves and I love that that
tool is in there and we arestill using it.
So it is, you know, having thatlast module where you helped us
integrate it and pick the thingsthat were going to be like
lasting pieces.
For us it's a really beneficialpiece because a lot of people
(22:09):
tend to go and gather all theknowledge right, they have a
problem and they seek outsolutions and it's like, oh well
, this maybe didn't work, solet's try this solution.
And they're constantlyabsorbing all of this knowledge.
But it's the implementation andthe how does this fit into my
life and so I love like it issuch a practical.
Last module For those of youlistening, we will have a link
(22:30):
for the program at the bottom ofthe show, so you guys are feel
free to grab that.
Gemma sends out a lovely box forthe kids to go through all of
the modules and you know hervideos are really really well
done.
So if you have interest in that, we'll make sure that you have
a contact piece for Gemma at thebottom of the show as well as
the ability to buy the program.
We kind of stepped away whatdoes PQ stand for?
(22:53):
Because I know that kind ofsegues into your parent program
as well.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
It does so.
Pq is positive intelligence andand it's almost the
prerequisite to emotionalintelligence, which is strange
but it is.
And what it is is it is aprogram that is for adults.
I use it for my parents andwhat it does is it's a program
(23:19):
for mental fitness.
It's rewiring our brain to havethe strongest mental fitness
that we can, and from the age ofabout five up until then, up
until about five, we're wholebrained.
We use most of our brain bothsides, and yet as we start to go
to school, we're from about theage of five onwards we're
(23:40):
taught and encouraged to use theleft-hand part of our brain,
which is the more reason, thelogic, the thinking part of our
brain, and what happens withthat is that then the right-hand
side of our brain, which ismore the, that's our positive
intelligence, that is our sageperspective, our intuition, our
(24:01):
empathy for ourselves, ourability to have innovate and to
explore things and to activateour brain into doing different
things that actually starts todecrease in its strength.
And the right hand sorry, theleft hand side of our brain,
which is where our thinking partof our brain is, that is also
(24:21):
where our saboteurs live.
And we all have a judge.
We all have an internal criticthat actually will talk to us,
tell us we're not good enough,will beat us down, and actually
we all have a judge.
And then our judge then alsohas accomplice saboteurs.
So there's the pleaser, there'sthe hyper achiever, there's the
(24:44):
hyper vigilant, the avoider,that's so me, the victim.
There's nine other sort ofaccomplice saboteurs that our
judge brings in to help keep usdown almost.
Yeah justify it Exactly.
And don't get me wrong thesaboteurs actually have
(25:04):
qualities that we all need, butwhat our brain does is it
overuses them and overworks themto the point where it is then
detrimental to ourselves.
And so what this program doesis it's actually rewiring our
brain through simple methodsthat we use to.
It increases the gray matter inthe sage part of our brain, and
(25:28):
what that does is it?
Yeah, if there's a, it's allbacked by science, which I love
because I'm a total brain geek.
I love how the brain works andhow you know we can use it to
our advantage, but most of thethe time, it controls us in not
a great way, and we all knowthat feeling emotions and having
(25:49):
emotions is really good, butthey're only good for a moment
to tell us what's going on,what's going on in our
environment, and what we tend todo is we tend to stay in them
for way too long, and it's likeputting your hand on a hot stove
.
So it's great, when we put ourhand on a hot stove, to get that
initial shock and our braingoes oh, that's hot, take your
(26:11):
hand away, yeah.
But when and that's like ouremotions our emotions are saying
, oh, this is happening and wego, oh right, ok, now I
understand what's going onaround me, but so much of the
time we then keep our hand onthat hot stove and we burn
ourselves.
We burn ourselves sort of intothe ground with these negative
thoughts and emotions goinground and round in our mind
(26:33):
which is affecting how weperform.
So what PQ does is it fires upthe sage part of our brain, the
five sage powers that we have.
That actually then gives us theability to calm ourselves down,
to move very quickly fromnegative to more positive and,
(26:56):
yeah, it's having that mentalfitness so that we are able to
manage any situation that comesup in life and whatever the
problem might be.
So it's it's a brilliantprogram for for people that want
to be able to really mastertheir mind, to be masters of
(27:18):
their emotions and to be able tohave far more empathy for
themselves, be able to move intomore of their intuition, which
is so important to teach ourchildren as well.
And it's a program that I'vebeen doing it for the past six
months now and I'm almostcertified in it at the time of
this recording, which is very,but what I found is that the
(27:42):
people that have gone throughthe course have said I have been
on so many different coursesbefore and nothing has had the
lasting impact that PQ has.
Wow, yeah, because so much ofthe time like exactly like you
said before Sydney we go and welearn things and we learn, and
we learn and we learn, and thatis 80% of what we do, but the
(28:05):
most powerful is the 20% ofimplementing it.
And yet, especially, I feel formyself being neurodivergent and
being someone who loves tolearn, and I'm forever reading
things and getting, oh, I wantto find out about this new thing
.
But in that moment I go, yeah,that's amazing, I'm going to do
that.
And then three months later,I'm exactly where I was before
(28:27):
because I have not put it intopractice.
And what peak does is it firesup that part of your brain so
that you actually keep doing it.
You are keeping building thatmuscle every single day,
building that muscle everysingle day, and it's it's
phenomenal.
I absolutely love it and Ithink it is probably at my age
(28:48):
I'm 50 this year and it is themost impactful thing I have ever
done for myself.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Incredible.
I'm so excited for you.
I you know I was kind ofkicking myself for not going
through your program when youoffered it to me a few months
ago.
I have to say, this definitelysounds like something that's
right up my alley and, like yousaid, I mean there's everything
in life.
Is this 80-20 rule right?
You have people that you'regoing to have 20% of the people
(29:14):
that actually achieve and do thethings and come and do the work
, and you're going to have 20%of the people that actually
achieve and do the things andcome and do the work, and you're
going to have 80% of the peoplethat you know get stuck and
that's just.
You know the general rule ofthumb.
And so the fact that you knowyou're finding that these people
are coming into your programand they're actually staying in
that 20%, because a lot of timesyou have like attrition, I
think, is the right word wherepeople just fall off and so you
(29:42):
know you're proving that thisprogram is working, that people
are staying with it and they'reactually implementing it, which
is incredible.
Now this program.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
You've designed specifically for parents,
correct?
So well, actually I do it withanybody.
So I actually I'm doing it inthe corporate space, and I'm
doing it with entrepreneurialwomen, because I love the fact
that there are so many of us outthere doing different things
and yet our saboteurs actuallystop us from achieving the
(30:07):
success that we are destined for.
And then I'm also doing it withparents.
So it doesn't matter which partof what your path is.
It's very, very tailored to youindividually.
It's not that you have to bethis or you have to be that.
Okay, it's for anybody.
And the great thing is is thatI do it in very small pods, pods
(30:31):
of five, and I've had gents onthere as well.
So men that are coming into theprogram and going wow, you know
, I didn't realize that I was sothis way or that way, and being
able to change the way theirbrain is.
And when couples do it as well,it's phenomenal when they
actually start being able to seeeach other's saboteurs and
(30:55):
understand, not to feed intothem.
Because we, when we are in asaboteur state, as we know with
mirroring, with children, thisis the same principle, you know,
when we're in an annoyed state,whatever it might be or we're
angry, or we're whatever itmight be.
Our kids actually absorb thatand they start to behave that
(31:17):
way as well, and it's exactlythe same with when we're in a
saboteur or a sage state.
When we are in a calmer, moresage state of mind, we bring
that out into anybody that weactually interact with, and it's
so interesting to be able tosee that happen.
Yeah, so it's really for foranybody anybody who is, who is
(31:40):
wanting to increase their mentalfitness to a point where they
are able to manage any situationthat comes in life without
actually keeping their hand onthe hot stove and being in that
negative thought process oremotions for longer than a
couple of seconds.
I love.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
This is honestly such a powerful program and so we
will make sure that you guyshave information.
You guys can contact Gemma ifyou have more questions or if
you're ready to just go.
We'll make sure that we have alink there for you as well.
Because you know, so many timesand you and I are both in the
coaching space where you seepeople, they come and they start
to make progress and they startto make progress and then all
(32:22):
of a sudden something happens inlife.
You know and and and.
There's lots of tragedy outthere and I don't want to
diminish what people go throughin any way, shape or form, but
it's like, feel it, go throughit Also.
You can't stay stuck there, andI think a lot of people, when
they feel that slide or thatpullback or that regression in
their business or their personallife or whatever they're going
(32:43):
through parenting I mean I can'teven tell you how many
regressions we've had throughparenting right, like you feel,
like you do all this work, andthen all of a sudden you're like
why are we back here?
Like why is this happening?
Yeah, it's like grandma day,yeah.
And so many people get stuck inthat because they're like, you
know, it's just you get tired ofhaving to kind of climb the
ladder again.
(33:04):
But the thing that I think alot of people don't realize is,
once you've been up so many runson the ladder, the climb
doesn't take as long the nexttime or the next time, and maybe
you don't slide as far down itthe following time, right, and
so there's always this kind ofleveling up in this ebb and flow
and people get stuck, and so Ilove that you have found this
program and developed this.
(33:24):
Where you can, you know, helppeople get back out of that, get
back into action, get back intomomentum and that positive
feeling so much quicker.
I think that this is really,really powerful With everything
that we've talked about.
If there was one piece ofadvice that you'd love to give
the parents, based on yourpersonal experience or one of
your programs, what would youtell the listeners?
Speaker 1 (33:47):
I think it would be.
If you want to raise confident,unstoppable adults, like we all
do, then the work begins withyou first.
I have learnt so much from mychildren and so much of the time
I went into it thinking I needto sort of teach them this is
(34:10):
how things should be done andthis is how they should be doing
things.
And in actual fact, I needed towork on myself first, because
everything that we do ourchildren absorb every,
everything and that's not.
I don't want to cause guilt.
There is so many times that Ilook and I think I have screwed
my kids up so much and I'llprobably just have to pay for
(34:30):
therapy for the rest of theirlife.
But actually working on myselfnow, I am able to manage them so
much better and I'm able towatch them flourish and grow
because I'm doing it myself.
So really, if we really want toraise unstoppable adults, then
we need to work on ourselvesfirst, and I think that is the
(34:54):
most important thing.
When we can love ourselves,when we can be really good in
how we feel about ourselves andour ability to manage our
emotions, it is going totranscribe into our children or
transfer into our children.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
so much more.
Absolutely, I mean, and it does.
It shows them that like lifeisn't perfect and you know,
having to do the work onyourself, it sets that example
for them.
They see you doing it, likeeven if you're doing it after
they've gone to bed and all thethings like it still comes up in
passing conversations, or theycan see, they can feel that,
they sense that where you'releveling up and you're doing the
(35:31):
things.
And I mean, like you said,there's been so many times where
I've thought the same, where Ithought, oh my God, I've just
screwed my kids up for life.
But you know, being able tocome back and even apologize and
show like I'm not perfect, youknow we're going to, we can work
through this or I don't haveall the answers, but like let's
find those answers out together,it just sets the stage for them
(35:51):
to build that resiliency atsuch a young age.
So I love that so much.
Thank you so much for being ontoday.
I've really enjoyed ourconversation.
I'm so excited for yourprograms.
They're absolutely phenomenal,you guys and I'm so grateful
that you guys were able to tunein today.
Thank you guys for tuning inwhere we help you conquer the
chaos one day at a time.
Hey, hey welcome back to conquering chaos.
I'm your host, sydney Crow, andtoday we have the amazing Gemma
Sharp.
Gemma is a mom based out of theUK and she is the founder of
Hummingbird Life Academy.
She is a seasoned professionalwith 35 years in the corporate
world.
She's found her true calling,though, in fostering emotional
(00:20):
and positive intelligence,particularly in the realm of
parenting.
She understands the intricatedance that balancing family life
, work and mental fitness.
She's dedicated to guidingfamilies through the challenges
of stress, anxiety and emotionalmanagement.
She believes that enhancing ourEQ and PQ transforms our
approach to parenting andprofessional life and equips us
(00:43):
with the solid mental fitness,fitness which is crucial for
navigating life's challengeswith resilience and positivity.
Welcome, gemma.
Thank you, sydney, so nice tobe here, it's so nice to
reconnect with you.
I mean, we've been connected nowfor just well over a year.
We found each other kind of inthe same coaching community and
I actually was able to put mykids through your Mind Wizards
(01:06):
program last summer, which isphenomenal, and I can't wait for
us to tell the listeners alittle bit more about that.
But why don't you just kick offand tell the listeners, kind of
, your route, your path forgetting to where you are today?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Okay, thank you.
Yes, so I'm a mom of two.
I have a son who's 15 and mydaughter is 12.
And I sort of started havingchildren a bit later in life and
I wanted four but never gotthat far because I was too old,
so just got two.
And my son was the easiestchild.
He was so laid back, he sleptthrough, he was always really
(01:46):
easy.
And I will openly admit I wasone of those sort of judgmental
mothers where other motherswould say this thing you know,
parenting is so hard and I'd belike, hmm, it really is it
Because he was such a good baby.
You got lucky.
Yeah, yeah, I really did.
And then, about two and a halfyears after he was born, we
(02:08):
decided to have another one andI had my amazing daughter, who
is she is just so brilliant, butshe also has pushed me to my
limits Ever since she was born.
She came out screaming and sheliterally hasn't stopped.
She is, she's, fantastic.
But what I found was I thought Iknew everything about parenting
(02:30):
after having my first, and thenthis totally differently wired
child came into my life and Iwas like I have not a clue what
I'm doing now.
And so I knew she was reallyspecial right from the very
beginning.
She was determined, she knewwhat she wanted, even as a very
(02:51):
young baby, which I think isfantastic, especially in our
girls.
I just it's just reallydifficult to deal with that when
they are little.
You know I want 20, her at 20,to have those amazing strong
qualities.
It's just really difficult toparent a four-year-old who has
these really strong qualities.
So I knew that I had to changemy parenting style.
(03:15):
But that really came to lightwhen she was about seven and she
started having huge emotionalmeltdowns and things got so bad
within our family that she wassaying she didn't want to live
anymore.
And it got to the point whereyou know she was saying things
to me, as a mother, that younever want to hear.
(03:38):
It was just really reallyshocking and a real eye-opener
for me, and I found that Iwasn't dealing with her in a
positive way.
I was parenting her the way Iwas parented and for that type
of child, highly sensitive andstrong willed, it was not the
(03:59):
best combination at all.
So things got to a really quitea dark place for the whole
family when she was about seven.
So I went to the doctor and Isaid look, I need help, let's
just say.
His comment back to me wasbasically it's too bad, go home
and sort it out yourself.
So I thought, right, I'mtotally on my own here Now.
(04:22):
She was then put into thesystem as in.
She was put on a waiting listto see whether she was
neurodiverse in any way, andabout three years later.
So it took quite a long timefor us to get that diagnosis.
But I knew within that threeyears if I didn't.
I knew the waiting list and Iknew that if I didn't do
(04:42):
something myself, that it wasn'tgoing to turn out well for
anybody.
You know I was either going tobe on a one-way ticket to
Australia home again, or bymyself, or you know it wasn't
going to end well.
So I decided to startresearching and I had a bit of
an inkling as to what it mightbe, because she had.
(05:05):
She was highly sensitive toeverything smells, clothes,
taste change and she had a lotof physical symptoms as well.
She was always complaining ofhaving headaches, of having
stomach aches, of not feelingwell, of having a bad tummy.
So she spent a good six monthsunder a pediatrician where they
did a load of tests and theysaid look we, for six months
(05:29):
they said we can't find anythingwrong with her, and so we
actually think it might beanxiety.
So I was like, right, okay.
So I started researching theneverything to do with anxiety,
how it shows up in children, andwhat I found was so much of her
quote, unquote bad behaviorthat I had been parenting in
(05:51):
really the wrong way.
It actually was her copingmechanism for anxiety, and so
when I started to learn how itshows up in the body, how I
could help her, I also thenstarted to learn a heck of a lot
about myself and that I suffera lot from anxiety, but I'm
(06:12):
extremely good at masking it andI would mask it very, very well
.
I knew what I needed to do incertain situations, what mask I
had to put on how I needed to beand it was very much like a
duck floating on a pond andinside with the legs of the duck
(06:32):
like churning inside of me.
And so I started to look at howI was dealing with my anxiety,
how her anxiety was triggeringmy anxiety, and it was just this
big.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
This big, yeah exactly, I 100% relate to all of
that.
You just feel like you'repouring, like barreling down the
mountain at 100 miles an hourand completely out of control.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
She was out of control.
I was out of control and itreally it wasn't a nice place to
be in our family at all.
So I started to then think,okay, well, how can I help?
What can I do?
And what I found was the veryfirst thing the more I worked on
myself, the more I was able toparent her more positively.
(07:21):
And then I started to seebetter results from the
different things that I wasdoing with her.
And one of my friends said tome do you know?
You should teach other parentsthis, because we could all do
with it.
And then I sort of found outthat she got her diagnosis, that
she was ADHD, she was ASD andshe had dyslexia, and so that
(07:43):
gave me another sort of rabbithole to jump into learning about
ADHD, how that affects children, how that affects their
behavior, you know, and how.
Actually I think that I'm alsoneurodiverse as well.
My brother's very strongly ADHDand I'm pretty sure that I'm on
the spectrum as well.
It's always these funnyrealizations that you have.
(08:06):
Yeah, it's always 2020 exactly.
Yeah, I was looking at mydaughter going hmm, she's
displaying that behavior thatactually I have as well.
So that was that was a biglearning curve.
So I then thought, right, well,I will try and help others.
And so I developed Mind Wizards, which is a program for
(08:28):
children and parents that is tohelp them understand their
emotions, manage their thoughts,their behaviors, manage change
more effectively and thencalming techniques that they can
do in order to help themselves.
And although it's primarily forchildren, as you know, I always
(08:53):
sort of say to the parents Ireally want you to do it with
your kids, because you willlearn a lot as well Like I did.
Yeah, that suddenly you'll belooking in the mirror going, oh,
that's interesting, and it is.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I mean, obviously these genetics come from
somewhere.
So when you're starting to dealwith things with your kids, you
start to kind of like selfreflect, like where, where is
this coming from?
Like is this a?
Is this the start of the gene?
Or is this like learnedbehavior, learned genetics, like
is it passing down?
And you know, when you areworking so hard to help your
kids and support your kids, Imean it does do a lot of
(09:27):
self-reflection.
You kind of have to do theself-reflection to help them
even more.
So, right, because you're like,well, where is this coming from
?
And, like you, I think that Iam somewhere on the spectrum
with ADHD as well.
I've dealt with anxiety my wholelife and you know I've also was
(09:48):
able to mask it so well.
I mean, I was just talking.
I've given up drinking about ayear and a half ago, almost 500
days ago.
At this point the time it'srecording and you know I was
talking with my mom just onSaturday night.
She's like I'm so shocked tohear that you feel like you had
anxiety all through yourchildhood because you know, I
never, I never would haveguessed that, and I was like,
(10:09):
yeah, but you know I startedself-medicating with alcohol and
drugs and all of these thingsthat helped me mask it and put
on these, these masks, like youhad said.
Like which mask am I going towear today?
What do I need to do in thissituation to mask my anxiety?
And I got really, really goodat that.
And so, being able to go throughthese programs and help your
(10:29):
kids so that they don't gothrough those like
self-medicating, those copingmechanisms, those masking
mechanisms that we were so ableto do I mean, you and I have had
several conversations, becauseI did have the privilege of
putting my kids through yourprogram last summer and you know
, we we did have a pretty rawconversation about how just
(10:51):
going through these programs andhaving these resources out here
, especially for young girls, isgoing to change the trajectory
of their lives so that when theyget into their early adult
years and their early, you know,twenties, and even into their
thirties, because our brainsdon't fully develop until we're
21 to 25.
Right, so we're giving themthese tools to help them so that
they can learn how to stand upfor themselves and have those
(11:13):
boundaries in place ahead oftime.
Right, because there's so muchextra work that has to happen
when you have to pull back thoselayers again and start fresh.
But when we can help them andempower them at such a young age
to not have that and to havethose clear boundaries, I mean
it's just, it's going to be abeautiful thing for this next
generation.
So I'm really excited.
(11:34):
Why don't you tell the listenersa little bit more?
First of all, we talked aboutPQ and EQ in your bio.
Can you just let the listenersknow what those things are,
because it could be a newtechnology for them.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Yeah, sure.
So EQ is emotional intelligenceand, as you know, you hear a
lot about IQ and IQ is pushed somuch at school and everything
you know reading and writing andEQ is the balance to that.
So reading and writing andlearning all of the practical,
(12:06):
rational things that we need todo is really important.
And yet EQ, which is ouremotional foundation, is so to
me so much more important.
And, in fact, if we teach ourchildren to understand their
emotions, their feelings, howtheir thoughts impact their
(12:26):
emotions and how they managethen their reactions to things,
that is an amazing foundationfor them to then be able to
increase their IQ or to helpthem at school.
And I really believe thatemotional intelligence is
something that should actuallybe taught foundationally at
school first, before they everlearn how to read and write.
(12:48):
It impacts their ability tolearn so much.
When you have a highly anxiouschild sitting in a classroom,
their brain is in fight, flight,freeze and fall and overload.
You know it is sitting there onhigh alert, freaking out, and
(13:11):
their logical brain, wherethey're supposed to be learning
and retaining all of thatinformation, it's offline.
It's not working properly.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
So when we can teach them.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Yeah, exactly yeah.
It's like someone's unpluggedthe computer and until you calm
down and plug that back in, theyare not going to be able to
retain things.
And when we can teach them howto manage their emotions, how to
respond rather than react tothings, then that means that
(13:42):
they're going to be able to calmthemselves down.
And I heard somethinginteresting when I was doing for
the for the corporate side ofthings that 90% of top
performers in businesses havehigh emotional intelligence.
Yeah and yeah.
So when you think it impactsevery part of their life, if
(14:06):
they are not going to be able tomanage their emotions, they're
not going to be able to managetheir stress, they're not going
to be able to manage theiranxiety, that is then going to
impact their relationships.
It's then going to impact theirlearning.
It's going to impact how theyreact and respond to the world
around them.
It just it is the foundation ofeverything.
And if we don't get thatfoundation right, then it's
(14:30):
almost like planting a tree butnot digging those deep roots
into the ground, the tree, thefirst gust of wind that comes
along is going to blow it over.
But when we can have reallystrong emotionally intelligent
roots within ourselves, yeah,when life blows, you know big
hurricanes at us, which is goingto happen?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
we will bend, but we won't break, and that is that's
so important and yes, and we'relike I'm starting to see a
little bit of this in mydaughter's schools.
We have a program that's calledright from the start and it's in
the younger years but it's notenough.
Like, when you look at like theIQ learning and the way that the
(15:11):
school system is set up it isso based on, like reading and
math and writing and all ofthese hardcore skills that are
like you said, they're they'reimportant and they're valuable,
but if their brains are notabsorbing it, their
self-confidence goes down, theystop wanting to try harder, they
stop wanting to go to school atall.
And you know the ratio of thisprogram that my daughters have
(15:35):
in their school.
They get it like, I think,maybe two classes a week in
their entire curriculum andthey're there for, you know,
seven hours a day and they getmaybe two hours of this a week.
So I find that the ratio sobeing able to do these things at
home and go through programssimilar to Mind Wizards is such
(15:55):
a benefit for parents to kind ofhelp their kids lay these
foundations.
So why don't you tell thelisteners a little bit about
Mind Wizards and kind of howthat program you know unfolds
for parents?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yeah, sure.
So it's done in six modules, orthere are six topics that we
cover, and the first one is, tome, is really so important, and
that is Proud to Be Me.
That's where we teach the kidswhy it's so important that they
love themselves first, that theyhave really good self-worth and
(16:29):
rather than self-esteem,because self-esteem is based so
much on external things, onexternal validation, external
markers that they might hit,whereas self-worth is really
internal.
It's believing in yourself andloving yourself, your uniqueness
and understanding that you arethe most important person in the
(16:52):
world and when you can lookafter yourself, then we can look
after others more.
But having that really strongself-worth is so important.
So the first module is allaround building self-worth,
having gratitude, but also, too,when we think about having
gratitude for things externally,it's really important.
I'm really grateful for the sun, for the beautiful house that I
(17:15):
have, my food, my parents,whatever it might be.
But then, turning thatinternally as well and saying
and I'm also proud of somethingabout myself and each day
thinking what am I proud ofabout myself?
It might just be that you wereable to go to school, which, for
a neurodivergent child, is amassive accomplishment, because
(17:37):
schools are not designed forneurodivergent children.
They're not designed for theirbrains at all.
And it's really brave that ourkids can go in every single day
into an environment that is notreally designed for them and
they manage and they cope asbest they can with it.
So it's increasing thatself-worth and understanding
(17:58):
that they are the most importantperson.
And how do I look after myself?
And then we move on to thoughtshow our thoughts are created in
our mind, that our thoughts arenot facts.
They're not true.
It's just the way that ourbrain starts to perceive things.
And what do we do when we havethose reoccurring negative
thoughts and they then impactour emotions?
(18:21):
So that's the third module howdo we balance our emotions?
How do we manage them?
What can we do when we havethese really big, strong
emotions, when we're reallyangry?
And that's something that Iactually found quite difficult
myself, because I was alwaystaught that anger was not an
emotion that we were allowed todisplay at home.
(18:43):
It was.
You can be as happy as you like, but you start being angry and
showing that, oh no, that wasshut down very quickly.
So I internally then became amassive people pleaser where I
had to everything's fine, youknow, and keeping everything and
everybody okay, everything'sfine, you know.
(19:04):
And keeping everything andeverybody okay, because you
don't show those other bigemotions, because that's not
okay.
So helping them understand thatemotions are just energy and
that it's really important thatwe listen to them, that we
process them and that they thisisn't something that I talk
about actually in the program,but just for the parents.
You know, we probably all knowthat emotions get stored in our
(19:25):
body if we don't process them.
This isn't something that Italk about actually in the
program, but just for theparents.
You know, we probably all knowthat emotions get stored in our
body if we don't process them.
And when we don't process thoseemotions and our body stores it
, it actually makes us ill.
Sometimes there's a there'sdis-ease within our body which
then creates disease.
So so we talk about emotionsand then we move on to managing
change, how we can deal withchange, because nobody likes
(19:47):
change.
Change makes all of us feelsuper uncomfortable.
Especially when you'reneurodivergent like that, is
definitely like a very keycharacteristic of their
inability to navigate that on aeven keel keel, yeah, and and
when you're anxious as well,your, your brain is always going
into the future or into thepast, worrying about everything.
(20:10):
How do we come back to what wecan and we can't control and how
do we, you know, make sure thatwe're okay in the moment now?
So we talk about that.
The fifth module is all aboutcalming techniques how we can
calm our bodies down,understanding how our brain
works and why sometimes we flipour lids, and how we can keep
ourselves calm so that we canreconnect with our logical part
(20:32):
of our brain again.
And then the last one is allabout how do we build this into
our routine, how do we build areally strong and firm daily
routine that becomes part of oureveryday life and that's
something that we hope they willcarry on for the rest of their
life.
I want them to look into themirror every morning and smile
at themselves, rather thanlooking at themselves and being
(20:55):
negative, you know.
So that's the program, sort ofin a nutshell, for Mind Wizards.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
And I will say like I love this program.
Like I said, we went through itprobably close to nine months
ago now, at this time of therecording, and so you know my
kids still use a lot of thepractices.
One of my kids still has herhandprint up there.
She gives herself a high fiveevery time she leaves her room
and you know it's that positiveself-talk.
(21:21):
The journaling like what I said, when we started your program,
we were always doing a littlebit of a gratitude journal, but
now they've like implementedthat.
I'm proud of myself todaybecause and it is a really
beautiful thing to be able tolike go back and evaluate, and
sometimes they're like, mom, Ididn't really do anything today
and I was like well, what areyou proud of?
Like?
Are you are you proud of?
(21:46):
Like?
Are you are you proud that youjust stayed happy?
Like are you proud that youdidn't lose your cool today?
Are you proud that you ate allyour vegetables?
Like?
You know it can be like such awide variety, but it forces them
to really think aboutthemselves and I love that that
tool is in there and we arestill using it.
So it is, you know, having thatlast module where you helped us
integrate it and pick the thingsthat were going to be like
lasting pieces.
For us it's a really beneficialpiece because a lot of people
(22:09):
tend to go and gather all theknowledge right, they have a
problem and they seek outsolutions and it's like, oh well
, this maybe didn't work, solet's try this solution.
And they're constantlyabsorbing all of this knowledge.
But it's the implementation andthe how does this fit into my
life and so I love like it issuch a practical.
Last module For those of youlistening, we will have a link
(22:30):
for the program at the bottom ofthe show, so you guys are feel
free to grab that.
Gemma sends out a lovely box forthe kids to go through all of
the modules and you know hervideos are really really well
done.
So if you have interest in that, we'll make sure that you have
a contact piece for Gemma at thebottom of the show as well as
the ability to buy the program.
We kind of stepped away whatdoes PQ stand for?
(22:53):
Because I know that kind ofsegues into your parent program
as well.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
It does so.
Pq is positive intelligence andand it's almost the
prerequisite to emotionalintelligence, which is strange
but it is.
And what it is is it is aprogram that is for adults.
I use it for my parents andwhat it does is it's a program
(23:19):
for mental fitness.
It's rewiring our brain to havethe strongest mental fitness
that we can, and from the age ofabout five up until then, up
until about five, we're wholebrained.
We use most of our brain bothsides, and yet as we start to go
to school, we're from about theage of five onwards we're
(23:40):
taught and encouraged to use theleft-hand part of our brain,
which is the more reason, thelogic, the thinking part of our
brain, and what happens withthat is that then the right-hand
side of our brain, which ismore the, that's our positive
intelligence, that is our sageperspective, our intuition, our
(24:01):
empathy for ourselves, ourability to have innovate and to
explore things and to activateour brain into doing different
things that actually starts todecrease in its strength.
And the right hand sorry, theleft hand side of our brain,
which is where our thinking partof our brain is, that is also
(24:21):
where our saboteurs live.
And we all have a judge.
We all have an internal criticthat actually will talk to us,
tell us we're not good enough,will beat us down, and actually
we all have a judge.
And then our judge then alsohas accomplice saboteurs.
So there's the pleaser, there'sthe hyper achiever, there's the
(24:44):
hyper vigilant, the avoider,that's so me, the victim.
There's nine other sort ofaccomplice saboteurs that our
judge brings in to help keep usdown almost.
Yeah justify it Exactly.
And don't get me wrong thesaboteurs actually have
(25:04):
qualities that we all need, butwhat our brain does is it
overuses them and overworks themto the point where it is then
detrimental to ourselves.
And so what this program doesis it's actually rewiring our
brain through simple methodsthat we use to.
It increases the gray matter inthe sage part of our brain, and
(25:28):
what that does is it?
Yeah, if there's a, it's allbacked by science, which I love
because I'm a total brain geek.
I love how the brain works andhow you know we can use it to
our advantage, but most of thethe time, it controls us in not
a great way, and we all knowthat feeling emotions and having
(25:49):
emotions is really good, butthey're only good for a moment
to tell us what's going on,what's going on in our
environment, and what we tend todo is we tend to stay in them
for way too long, and it's likeputting your hand on a hot stove
.
So it's great, when we put ourhand on a hot stove, to get that
initial shock and our braingoes oh, that's hot, take your
(26:11):
hand away, yeah.
But when and that's like ouremotions our emotions are saying
, oh, this is happening and wego, oh right, ok, now I
understand what's going onaround me, but so much of the
time we then keep our hand onthat hot stove and we burn
ourselves.
We burn ourselves sort of intothe ground with these negative
thoughts and emotions goinground and round in our mind
(26:33):
which is affecting how weperform.
So what PQ does is it fires upthe sage part of our brain, the
five sage powers that we have.
That actually then gives us theability to calm ourselves down,
to move very quickly fromnegative to more positive and,
(26:56):
yeah, it's having that mentalfitness so that we are able to
manage any situation that comesup in life and whatever the
problem might be.
So it's it's a brilliantprogram for for people that want
to be able to really mastertheir mind, to be masters of
(27:18):
their emotions and to be able tohave far more empathy for
themselves, be able to move intomore of their intuition, which
is so important to teach ourchildren as well.
And it's a program that I'vebeen doing it for the past six
months now and I'm almostcertified in it at the time of
this recording, which is very,but what I found is that the
(27:42):
people that have gone throughthe course have said I have been
on so many different coursesbefore and nothing has had the
lasting impact that PQ has.
Wow, yeah, because so much ofthe time like exactly like you
said before Sydney we go and welearn things and we learn, and
we learn and we learn, and thatis 80% of what we do, but the
(28:05):
most powerful is the 20% ofimplementing it.
And yet, especially, I feel formyself being neurodivergent and
being someone who loves tolearn, and I'm forever reading
things and getting, oh, I wantto find out about this new thing
.
But in that moment I go, yeah,that's amazing, I'm going to do
that.
And then three months later,I'm exactly where I was before
(28:27):
because I have not put it intopractice.
And what peak does is it firesup that part of your brain so
that you actually keep doing it.
You are keeping building thatmuscle every single day,
building that muscle everysingle day, and it's it's
phenomenal.
I absolutely love it and Ithink it is probably at my age
(28:48):
I'm 50 this year and it is themost impactful thing I have ever
done for myself.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Incredible.
I'm so excited for you.
I you know I was kind ofkicking myself for not going
through your program when youoffered it to me a few months
ago.
I have to say, this definitelysounds like something that's
right up my alley and, like yousaid, I mean there's everything
in life.
Is this 80-20 rule right?
You have people that you'regoing to have 20% of the people
(29:14):
that actually achieve and do thethings and come and do the work
, and you're going to have 20%of the people that actually
achieve and do the things andcome and do the work, and you're
going to have 80% of the peoplethat you know get stuck and
that's just.
You know the general rule ofthumb.
And so the fact that you knowyou're finding that these people
are coming into your programand they're actually staying in
that 20%, because a lot of timesyou have like attrition, I
think, is the right word wherepeople just fall off and so you
(29:42):
know you're proving that thisprogram is working, that people
are staying with it and they'reactually implementing it, which
is incredible.
Now this program.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
You've designed specifically for parents,
correct?
So well, actually I do it withanybody.
So I actually I'm doing it inthe corporate space, and I'm
doing it with entrepreneurialwomen, because I love the fact
that there are so many of us outthere doing different things
and yet our saboteurs actuallystop us from achieving the
(30:07):
success that we are destined for.
And then I'm also doing it withparents.
So it doesn't matter which partof what your path is.
It's very, very tailored to youindividually.
It's not that you have to bethis or you have to be that.
Okay, it's for anybody.
And the great thing is is thatI do it in very small pods, pods
(30:31):
of five, and I've had gents onthere as well.
So men that are coming into theprogram and going wow, you know
, I didn't realize that I was sothis way or that way, and being
able to change the way theirbrain is.
And when couples do it as well,it's phenomenal when they
actually start being able to seeeach other's saboteurs and
(30:55):
understand, not to feed intothem.
Because we, when we are in asaboteur state, as we know with
mirroring, with children, thisis the same principle, you know,
when we're in an annoyed state,whatever it might be or we're
angry, or we're whatever itmight be.
Our kids actually absorb thatand they start to behave that
(31:17):
way as well, and it's exactlythe same with when we're in a
saboteur or a sage state.
When we are in a calmer, moresage state of mind, we bring
that out into anybody that weactually interact with, and it's
so interesting to be able tosee that happen.
Yeah, so it's really for foranybody anybody who is, who is
(31:40):
wanting to increase their mentalfitness to a point where they
are able to manage any situationthat comes in life without
actually keeping their hand onthe hot stove and being in that
negative thought process oremotions for longer than a
couple of seconds.
I love.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
This is honestly such a powerful program and so we
will make sure that you guyshave information.
You guys can contact Gemma ifyou have more questions or if
you're ready to just go.
We'll make sure that we have alink there for you as well.
Because you know, so many timesand you and I are both in the
coaching space where you seepeople, they come and they start
to make progress and they startto make progress and then all
(32:22):
of a sudden something happens inlife.
You know and and and.
There's lots of tragedy outthere and I don't want to
diminish what people go throughin any way, shape or form, but
it's like, feel it, go throughit Also.
You can't stay stuck there, andI think a lot of people, when
they feel that slide or thatpullback or that regression in
their business or their personallife or whatever they're going
(32:43):
through parenting I mean I can'teven tell you how many
regressions we've had throughparenting right, like you feel,
like you do all this work, andthen all of a sudden you're like
why are we back here?
Like why is this happening?
Yeah, it's like grandma day,yeah.
And so many people get stuck inthat because they're like, you
know, it's just you get tired ofhaving to kind of climb the
ladder again.
(33:04):
But the thing that I think alot of people don't realize is,
once you've been up so many runson the ladder, the climb
doesn't take as long the nexttime or the next time, and maybe
you don't slide as far down itthe following time, right, and
so there's always this kind ofleveling up in this ebb and flow
and people get stuck, and so Ilove that you have found this
program and developed this.
(33:24):
Where you can, you know, helppeople get back out of that, get
back into action, get back intomomentum and that positive
feeling so much quicker.
I think that this is really,really powerful With everything
that we've talked about.
If there was one piece ofadvice that you'd love to give
the parents, based on yourpersonal experience or one of
your programs, what would youtell the listeners?
Speaker 1 (33:47):
I think it would be.
If you want to raise confident,unstoppable adults, like we all
do, then the work begins withyou first.
I have learnt so much from mychildren and so much of the time
I went into it thinking I needto sort of teach them this is
(34:10):
how things should be done andthis is how they should be doing
things.
And in actual fact, I needed towork on myself first, because
everything that we do ourchildren absorb every,
everything and that's not.
I don't want to cause guilt.
There is so many times that Ilook and I think I have screwed
my kids up so much and I'llprobably just have to pay for
(34:30):
therapy for the rest of theirlife.
But actually working on myselfnow, I am able to manage them so
much better and I'm able towatch them flourish and grow
because I'm doing it myself.
So really, if we really want toraise unstoppable adults, then
we need to work on ourselvesfirst, and I think that is the
(34:54):
most important thing.
When we can love ourselves,when we can be really good in
how we feel about ourselves andour ability to manage our
emotions, it is going totranscribe into our children or
transfer into our children.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
so much more.
Absolutely, I mean, and it does.
It shows them that like lifeisn't perfect and you know,
having to do the work onyourself, it sets that example
for them.
They see you doing it, likeeven if you're doing it after
they've gone to bed and all thethings like it still comes up in
passing conversations, or theycan see, they can feel that,
they sense that where you'releveling up and you're doing the
(35:31):
things.
And I mean, like you said,there's been so many times where
I've thought the same, where Ithought, oh my God, I've just
screwed my kids up for life.
But you know, being able tocome back and even apologize and
show like I'm not perfect, youknow we're going to, we can work
through this or I don't haveall the answers, but like let's
find those answers out together,it just sets the stage for them
(35:51):
to build that resiliency atsuch a young age.
So I love that so much.
Thank you so much for being ontoday.
I've really enjoyed ourconversation.
I'm so excited for yourprograms.
They're absolutely phenomenal,you guys and I'm so grateful
that you guys were able to tunein today.
Thank you guys for tuning inwhere we help you conquer the
chaos one day at a time.
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