September 15, 2025 • 46 mins
Clark and James explore how building a contracting business affects your family relationships and what you can do to protect the people who matter most.
• The dangerous moving goalposts of promising "once I reach this milestone, then I'll have time for family"
• How the transition from employee to owner creates new stress patterns in personal relationships
• Why staying silent about work stress actually harms your marriage
• The importance of working proactively on next week's jobs instead of fighting today's fires
• Setting clear work hour boundaries with clients through a Client Expectations Agreement
• Creating non-negotiable family time blocks that clients cannot interrupt
• Why waiting for the "perfect time" to prioritize family never works
• Recognizing when you might need professional help if work becomes an escape
If you're struggling to balance your business and family life, reach out to us for a free call to help identify where you can create better systems.
Join us January 11–13 in Nashville for the Chart the Course 2026 Planning Retreat. Sign up now and get three free coaching sessions before the event to finish 2025 strong and hit 2026 with a clear game plan. At the retreat, you’ll tackle systems, hiring, marketing, and leadership alongside ambitious contractors, leaving with a blueprint for growth. Spots are limited—visit prostruct360.com to learn more!
Have a question or an idea to improve the podcast?
Email us at team@prostruct360.com
Want to learn more about our software or coaching?
Visit our website at ProStruct360.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Contractor Cuts, where we cover the good,
the bad and the ugly of growinga successful contracting company
.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome back to Contractor Cuts.
My name is Clark Turner and I'mJames McConnell.
Thank you, guys, for joining usthis week.
Today we are talking about areally fun topic, but I think
probably one of the mostimportant topics that I end up
getting into a lot with guys incoaching that they don't realize
is coming and it always ends upbeing a really good thing that
(00:34):
we talk through which is, ifyou've got a spouse, if you've
got a girlfriend, if you've gotchildren, if you've got people
in your life that you care about, how is their life being
affected by your decisions inthis company?
I think we're going to divedeep into the work-life balance
and that's you know.
That's a kind of one of thosesayings that people use all the
(00:57):
time, but I think the goal ofthis is what are you sacrificing
and who is sacrificing becauseyou're trying to build this
company?
Um, and if you're listening tothis, not started like thinking
of starting your own or juststarting, take this as, hey, I
will need to make sure I'msetting my path the right way.
Uh, if you've been doing thisfor a long time and your
(01:18):
marriage is struggling, takethis and listen to it and try to
implement some stuff in termsof how you can press into it.
I think one of the things thata lot of guys miss including
myself in this industry is thatwe confuse the end goal and the
journey.
Right, it's once we get there,then right.
(01:41):
And I think I've said this.
One of the things that my wifeand I have fought about in years
past is I'm always like we'rein a season.
Once I get X, I'll be able torelax and be here more.
Once we get this spot, we'll begood.
Once I actually, you know, Ineed two more hires and then I
(02:01):
can kind of sit back and we cango on vacations and relax and
I'll be here more.
And there's always yeah.
But next season, yes, okay, weget, I make those two hires,
yeah, but I got to fire this guy.
Like, okay, I just can't, I'mgoing to keep grinding, Give me
six more months to where it'salways these moving goalposts in
our relationship that I'mconstantly just pushing further
(02:22):
and further and further out of.
I just got to burn the candleat both ends now.
Then we'll be able to relax,right.
And so today we're talkingabout that.
We're talking about how toidentify that, how to avoid that
and how to step out of thatdance if you were in the middle
of it, because the the end goal,the why of why you're doing
(02:44):
this, is usually and should beyour family, right, like most
people aren't startingconstruction companies or kind
of backing into this industryand working in this industry
just for fun.
It's the end goal of this.
Is financial freedom, isstability for my family, time
(03:05):
spent with my kids, being anactive father and an active
husband, not just someone thatpays the bills for them, and so
that's what we're diving intotoday.
Fun topic, light topic this isso lighthearted.
Yeah, I think we have twodifferent paths that we started
on and we ended up at a verysimilar spot.
(03:26):
I started a constructioncompany at 24 and have continued
through my 40s.
You came in working forcompanies, trying to work your
way up in them trying to, thoughyou had the same work ethic as
an owner.
That's why you got to whereyou're at right Of, you weren't
(03:48):
just putting in the minimum.
You have always um.
I love to hear from yourperspective on being an employee
at a at a construction companyand then the transition into
ownership, and then startingcompanies and then adding your
first child into that and thencontinuing from there.
That's pretty personal.
(04:09):
Yeah, that's fine, let's pullup pictures of your kid and your
wife and let's no.
I love to hear a little bitthat journey from the grind as
an employee versus the grind asan owner.
You have the same number ofhours in a week.
You honestly like as anemployee, you you had some heavy
(04:30):
responsibilities that you endedup getting into, uh, as you
moved up, uh up with us and intokind of the upper management
and then stepping into ownership.
Um, did you feel a differencein those two things?
Did you feel that?
Do you feel like in thebeginning, in your twenties, in
early marriage, you weregrinding and more company
(04:50):
committed?
Or was it like that was my joband I come home and I'm doing it
Like, tell me, tell me aboutthat.
Like your, your early work,work years?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Well, I wanted out of construction.
By the time I came andinterviewed with you, yeah, I'd
been in, was doing a lot oflabor, and then I was selling
roofs for like one month, whichwas terrible, and then I was
working for this commercialcompany.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
You got married when you were at the commercial
company, right Like two yearsbefore, two to three years
before.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
ProServe yeah, like two to three years before.
So I was.
I don't.
Honestly, I like working, Ilike hard work, and it was never
(05:52):
a until recently, like maybethe past two, three years, I
didn't really generate an offswitch and that was really fine
initially, because there's um,when you're starting with a
company and you kind of arewired like that, there is
(06:14):
constant oh, here's like a newresponsibility, cause we see
that you can do that, here's anew responsibility.
And somebody wired like that islike perfect, yes, I'm being
recognized for like doing it andI'll take any of that I can get
.
Give me more responsibility,give me this, give me that.
And so it wasn't like a oh, I'mdone with work, so I'm turning,
(06:38):
turning the switch off.
It was like I'm done with work,but what else can I do to show
that I'm still in this, that I'min the game and, I think, for a
long while?
There's like a lot of noveltyto that, and so that's what
keeps me engaged.
Is novelty.
It really like until I startedgetting people under me, it was.
(07:04):
It was pretty easy for me tosee like what I needed to be
doing.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, once people started once I had full control
of your plate?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yes, and like.
Well, I mean, you know there'screws and stuff, but like, at
the end of the day I can like goout, be on site, make sure that
I address the things.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And any issues that you had to deal with.
You had full control of causingthe issue, so you felt full
responsibility in dealing withthe issue.
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
So in that again, for my emotional personality,
that's like really, I reallylike that.
Yeah, even if it's bad, I likeknowing where the blame should
be.
Yeah, like that feels good insome way.
No, um, so it wasn't reallyuntil people started coming
(07:55):
under me that it was, uh, moreheady like.
Oh, I've, like I need space notto be doing anything but just
to kind of think through some ofthis stuff.
And so getting out of the fieldand spending more time and kind
of the the ether is, I think,where that, the type of stress
(08:20):
you're talking about, that youknow can can hurt relationships,
really started to becomeproblematic for me, and to the
point where I can't rememberwhen it was.
But there was one night and thisis when I was living in the
apartments uh in Woodstock therewas one I couldn't sleep.
(08:40):
It wasn't, it wasn't abnormalfor me to like get up and get
out of the house by like five,30, six o'clock, but this one,
this one morning I couldn't fallasleep and I left at like three
, 30 to just head to the office,cause like there's no point in
me doing anything right now,like I can't sleep and my wife
(09:00):
calls me at like four, likeright, as I'm pulling up to the
office, she's like where are you?
And I was like I'm at work andshe's like that's a problem.
And I was like I couldn't sleep.
There's nothing.
She's like that's a problem.
So like I.
I remember that, oh, I don'teven know what all was going on.
(09:21):
It was in the mix of, likedifferent uh uh office personnel
, project managers.
Everything just seemed to notbe jiving and it was like the
only thing I can think to do iswork.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yeah, well, and it was the first time that not
first time, but it was the firstseason for you of having other
people being responsible forother people, to where I think
you carried heavier than anyoneelse.
I've seen the responsibility ofhelping and taking care of
(10:52):
other people, which is a greatthing, but also you carry too
much of that weight and that'sjust your personality, and that
was something that I think we weworked through together in
terms of like, cause I'm theopposite of that.
I'm like I did my part sucksfor them Right, and that was
something that I think we workedthrough together in terms of
like, because I'm the oppositeof that.
I'm like I did my part.
It sucks for them and you'relike I did my part.
I can't believe they did that.
I need to go fix it.
And so then you went from aspace of I have five things on
(11:15):
my plate.
I got rid of them.
Two issues came up.
It came on my plate.
I issues came up, it came on myplate.
I handled it to where youflipped it to where I have two
things on my plate.
I got rid of them.
All of a sudden, five thingswent wrong, and now those are
all on my plate, which is likenow aha, I just, I just cleared
my plate, I just got it all done, right.
And so I think that is thestress, that again, this isn't
necessarily marriage, but it waswhat led to stress in your
(11:36):
marriage, right, it was the the.
It went from controllable towhere you can turn it off, cause
you knew exactly whereeverything was, to uncontrolled.
All of a sudden, you're atdinner with your wife and you
get a text message from a clientthat's like there's people
smoking weed in our house, rightthere's.
There's stuff where it's likewho, what, what, like what, and
(11:58):
now, instead of sitting atdinner, you're outside on the
phone trying to solve problemsbecause other people made stupid
mistakes, right.
So I think that was a bigtransition for you.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yeah, and it's more like I don't think I'll ever be
in a place where stuff doesn'tlike.
Just coming in here today,multiple texts and emails that
I'm like, ah, that are just onme.
Now I can deal with it muchbetter than I used to, but it's
(12:33):
the.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
It's a chain around your neck until it's gone.
Yeah, Like.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
I need some type of resolution, at least knowing
that there's something movingtowards resolution.
And I think that's like I don'tknow.
I think that's just the hardestpart for me of this whole
company ownership type thing isfeeling like there's not anybody
(13:02):
else that's going to move thisin the direction towards
resolution, because that's whatit always feels like.
It's just like you areresolving whatever's not
resolved, yeah, and there'salways a million things to
resolve if it's not somethingthat is pressing like a client
issue.
There's insurance stuff andmaking sure everybody has their
(13:25):
paperwork and making sure thatwhen you do your quarterly
reconciliations, that everyonehas is up to date, and it's like
there's always, always, alwayssomething to be doing.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Did you follow that paperwork that you had no clue
was supposed to be filed withthe state back in January?
Yeah, no, what, yeah whatpaperwork.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah, so I feel like I'm on a on a trail.
I've lost the beginning and Idon't know where we're going
right now.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
So well, I think what , what, what we're trying to
cover too is like the stress ofbeing an employee in your
twenties, and how did thataffect your marriage verse.
You're now in a, in a totallydifferent season, with a child
that you've had for a while now,you know, 18 months, year and a
half, so you've you've kind oftransitioned into.
(14:14):
It's not just I'm sorry to mywife, but now I'm affecting the
livelihood and the experienceand the forever emotions of a
human.
Yeah, when let's start in thebeginning, though, like you're
talking about, like thattransition when you were just
married but taking on moreresponsibility, moving up in the
(14:35):
company, how did that affectyour marriage?
And if it didn't, that's okay.
Where was your marriagesuffering from those times and
what did you do about it?
And what should have you done?
If you could rewrite some ofthe 4am going into the office
and your wife waking up byherself?
Yeah, what would have you donedifferently in those?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
stages.
I think that's a good notebecause that's, I think, you got
me back on the track here.
Through counseling, throughconversations with my wife, with
my family, I think I've come toan understanding that I should
have known a long time ago.
But I'm very performance-basedand the early stuff, when you're
(15:21):
not an employer and you're anemployee, there is, or should be
, constant recognition of thepositive things that you're
doing and then a redirection ofthe things that you could be
improving on.
And for whatever part of myperformance in life is receiving
(15:47):
criticism well, even though noone likes criticism, yeah, but
if you're performance based, youneed to be able to understand
and recognize when obviouslyeveryone has things that they
can improve on.
So why shouldn't I be anydifferent?
You should take everything thatis said to you by people that
you trust.
As you know, there's there'sgotta be some truth in here.
(16:09):
How do I change?
But when you become theemployer and you're running your
stuff, uh, there's very littleof that, if any.
There's not a uh, your wife cantell you, oh, you're doing
great and you know how arethings.
(16:31):
It just doesn't.
It's not the same as havingsomebody be like, hey, here's
what you need to be doing betteror hey, this is really positive
.
Let's focus more on this,because you just don't feel like
that person really understandswhat you're really talking about
.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And an employee looks at you and says, oh, this is
just who he is.
I'm not like employees don'tgive feedback, like coworkers do
, or like a boss, like anemployee that's underneath you.
If you are not giving them thesupport they want, that's a
character flaw in you and theirmind Like that's just who James
is, so I'm not.
Like I'm not gonna, like hejust is a sucky boss, so I'm not
(17:11):
gonna.
And so you have like thissmiley face when you meet with
the guy and then fast forwardsix months and he quits and he's
like well, I quit because youjust are a terrible boss.
It's like what?
Yeah, that was like when did wetalk?
Like I didn't even know, thatthat's new news to me.
Like, and I think that not thatthey, anyone was like you're a
(17:32):
terrible boss, but like therewere some guys that that left,
that we won't name, that hadissues with you and that drove
you nuts.
Because it's like I didn't evenknow and I did everything and I
did this for you and I did this, and that's not fair and that's
not.
Anyways, I think, getting offtrack again, but getting back
onto it, how do you, how doesthat manifest in your personal
(17:53):
life?
Like how, with that level ofstress, that kind of ticked up
when you started transitioninginto upper management, how did
that show itself in yourpersonal life, in your marriage,
in your relationships, and whatdo you think you did wrong and
what do you think you did right?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Wrong.
What I did wrong was I.
I just didn't.
I wasn't being introspectiveenough about what I wanted out
of the journey.
Yeah, and it was just morebased on what came across, what
(18:36):
came in front of me.
Yeah, and how could I take thatand do whatever with it?
I didn't spend much timethinking about the direction
that I wanted to be going andwhat would be fulfilling for me
personally, and not that that iseverything that you enjoy and
that, like you feel, like thepeople around you are bringing
(19:10):
life to what you're doing.
I don't think that as muchanymore.
I think that it's.
It is really important that youfeel connected to the work that
you're doing.
Because when I, when I don'tfeel a connection to work, when
I don't feel like what I'm doingis important connection to work
, when I don't feel like whatI'm doing is important F it,
(19:30):
yeah, like I, it's not bringinglife and, in fact, it's just
sucking life out of me.
And that was the, the, the, theapartment when we were there,
for whatever reason, that was awhatever reason, that was a uh,
(19:53):
that was just all life takingtime Does.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Do you identify that first?
Or does your wife identify itfirst, like when that stuff
happens when you get to thatplace, is she?
Is she raising a flag sayinghey, you're, you're absent,
you're, you know you're.
You're not here with me whenyou're sitting here with me, or
is it you feeling it though,because you're still can perform
and be here, so you're feelingin the background?
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yeah, it's the background, it's, I think
probably most guys that havepartners or whatever deal with
this, and it's not allowing yourspouse into the pain, into the
(20:35):
struggle, because you want toprotect them from feeling your
energy.
Yeah, and that's probably thebiggest mistake, because my wife
is very capable, very strong,has great advice, has great
(20:59):
insights and I kept her frombeing able to be part of the
solving of some of my struggles.
Yeah, and a lot of that isbased in the performance because
, like you have to you, you needto be able, you need to be able
(21:19):
to shut the door on somethingand, like, know that you can
pick that up tomorrow, thatyou're not going to solve this
issue, that this is a work thingand it's not a life thing, and
you need to shut the door andthen tomorrow you can open the
door again and begin dealingwith it again.
But it is not, it's not a lifething.
You need to let that thing gofor a couple hours and have your
(21:42):
life.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Well, I think also great point, what you, what you
just said is there's a lot ofguys say, hey, I don't want to
bring work home with me, so I'mnot going to talk about it here,
when in fact they brought ithome with them and talking about
it, we'll let them release it,right, like?
my wife sometimes, but when Ibring it and when I don't bring
(22:05):
it home with me, quote unquotebecause I'm just not going to
tell my wife how I'm about totears on a job site earlier
today because I was justscreaming at this crew that just
absolutely screwed me Right,whatever it is, and I get home
like hey, babe, how was your dayRight?
And I'm just don't want to dealwith it and don't want to talk
about it.
I'm still bringing it homebecause I'm sitting on the couch
(22:32):
with her watching a show, justin a different world, thinking
about it.
I'm not engaging, I'm notlooking at her, we're not having
a conversation.
I'm just thinking through whathappened today.
I'm so pissed off, but I don'twant to talk about it.
I want to leave work at work.
Yeah, and it's like you did it.
You did, you brought it homeand and that's here, it's the
other girlfriend on the couch.
Yes, and so the the whole likeoh, I don't want to burden her
with this, that's not burningburdening her, you are burdening
(22:52):
her by just sitting therebrooding.
Yes, and you're making ithappen.
What's?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
wrong Nothing.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yep, it's.
It's amazing because most malesare fixers.
I want to fix it.
You give me a problem.
I'm going to tell you a way tosolve it.
Um, and most females again, notall on either side uh, are, hey,
let's hear it.
I'll just want to connect andhear it, right, and so you know,
if my wife tells me an issuethat she's having at work, I'm
telling her seven ways to fix it.
Well, what if you did this?
How about you do this?
And I don't want that.
And she doesn't either.
Right, it's not my job to fixit, and this is my job to listen
(23:28):
.
And I'll ask her that.
Right, I'll say, hey, is this a?
Do you want my help fixing itor do you want me to listen to
you?
Right, but vice versa, when I'msitting there, I'm like, I
don't want, like give me ananswer.
She just wants to hear what'sgoing on in my world, right, and
so I think that's one of thebig things in terms of you're on
(23:49):
an Island in this industry,right, it's hard to do this by
yourself.
Even if you have a partner, itstill feels isolating Sometimes.
Partner in business, it feelsisolating sometimes.
And it's one of those things ofhow do you invite your wife
into that conversation, to whereshe's not carrying the burden,
but she's there with you,holding your hand, being with
(24:10):
you, understanding where you'reat, because that's emotional
connection.
That's that's being emotionallyconnected to them, is letting
them know where you're at, evenif it's stupid, even if it's bad
.
And I'm listen, I'm pot calling,cut a black.
I'm terrible at this and I'velearned over the years.
Hopefully I'm better than I wasfive years ago, and five years
ago was better than I was 10years ago.
(24:30):
But being able to have thatdiscussion where I'm not just
complaining about work, I'm notjust complaining about people,
but I'm telling them, abouttelling her about my feelings,
like God, it really, just likeit.
Really I was disappointed inthis guy and, honestly, like it
made me question if I'm evengood at this.
(24:51):
Like if you can say that outloud to your wife you're going
to be taken care of usually,like it's going to change.
Being able to verbalize stufflike that is going to change
your dynamic with her as well asyour trust in her, trusting
that she's going to give you theresponse that you need.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Yeah, I think, for I think for me, the thing that I
kept finding was and kind of whyI stopped wanting to share is
she?
You know, she might ask me howI'm doing, but I get there's
probably guys out there that canconnect with this.
When I start talking about thething, I pretty quickly
(25:36):
emotionally get right back tothat spot when it initially
happened.
And so the conversation goesfrom how was your day?
It's like it was Tommy and thisguy's here and this, and by the
end of it I'm like and I'm likewell, what are we even doing?
Speaker 2 (25:50):
What are we doing?
What does she do?
When you, when you amp up, doesshe have like a, a sign to calm
you down?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
No, it's like um, it's what do you do with that
guy?
He, I'm like, I'm right back inthe moment.
I'm with the person.
That has nothing to do with thesituation and you're screaming
at her about it and it's likethat's what pulls you out, is
like you see this person thatyou're talking to and like the
(26:18):
glaze falls off and they'relooking at you like okay, and
you're like sorry, I just wentright back.
It's like, nah, you know, Idon't know how.
So, anyway, that's like the hasbeen kind of.
The key for me is going beingasked the question how's that
(26:42):
going?
How's your day?
Having to sit with it andactually explain how I'm feeling
, not what happened, not thedetails of the thing Like those
are so less important than, like, the big picture.
I felt completely out of controlabout what's happening.
I feel like I've been tryingreally hard, I've been working
(27:07):
on myself to try and handlethese situations better, and it
just doesn't feel like I'mmaking progress.
And then that's when my wifejumps in and says I need to tell
you about some of the progressthat I've seen.
Yeah, and like hearing thatfrom somebody on the outside,
and almost every time I end upfeeling better about the
(27:27):
situation because she's bringinga perspective that I had
forgotten, I've discountedbecause that's my job, you know,
and that's like kind of likethe easy decision deferment for
someone that's a performanceperson is like you did this so
well.
That's my job.
Like you know, that's what Igot to do.
You know that's my job.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Hey, I'm just a fixer .
You know that's my deal.
I'm just amazing.
I got such a high bar formyself.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
So did I answer that?
No, that's good.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
No, that's good.
That's good you did, you did.
We're focusing a lot on Jameson this one Cause.
Next week, uh, my wife iscoming on the podcast to talk
about my problems, so it'll begreat.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
It'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
If she, if she shows up, we'll see she.
She probably will take it threeto four hours of all my issues,
but anyways, I appreciate yousharing some of that stuff.
Let's, let's, let's keep going.
The one of the biggest thingsthat I see when I, when I'm
coaching guys and I see this, Ithink if we're looking practical
in your life, you know, inanyone who's running
construction jobs and companies,the better their relationship
(28:33):
is with their wife usuallydepends on when they're working
on.
What that means is today.
Am I working on yesterday andtoday's problems, or today, am I
working on next week and theweek after his problems?
If I can be proactively working, setting up schedules, putting
out next week's fires beforethey come up, organizing my jobs
(28:56):
, I am then able to be morepresent at home.
If I'm working on what happenedyesterday and today, when
tomorrow happens, I got 17 firesthat pop up because I didn't
think about it, I didn't dopre-construction walk with this
client, I didn't do the like, Ididn't do a selections workbook
and now my tile guy standingthere with no tile.
I didn't like, I didn't startproactively working through my
(29:19):
jobs ahead of time to wheretoday, every single day, day
over day, for the last threeyears has been.
I'm dealing with today's firesthat are 17 to 20 fires and so,
babe, I said I'd be home at five.
It's 830.
And I probably won't get hometill 10.
Cause I've got to do all thisstuff Right.
I think that is on a on a morebasic but bigger picture picture
(29:41):
where it starts right Withmessing up your relationships at
home.
Not being there for the kids'games, not being a present
person at home oftentimes is asystems problem, is a I don't
organize my day and look forwardto planning next week because I
don't have fires today.
(30:02):
So I'm going to start layingout next week's progress of
what's happening on my job sites.
So then by next week there's nofires and what I plan to do I
can do and I can go home at fivebecause I'm done.
So I think that's kind of smallbasic laying out systems to
where we're not working fortoday, we're not working for
yesterday, but we're working forthe next two to three weeks,
(30:23):
planning out, working ahead,having the time, having the
space and capacity to write theestimates, to not be constantly
just burning the candle at bothends.
How do we get ahead of doingthat?
And I think that's one of thebig things I see when guys come
into coaching.
That's what I'm trying to fix.
Number one that's what we'reworking on of I want to project
(30:45):
out in the future what we'redoing.
If you're dealing with what'shappening tomorrow, we're too
late.
We got to be dealing withwhat's happening next week.
I think that's number one.
I think one.
I remember one a guy that was incoaching that came through here
.
I might've told the storybefore, but we one of our
coaches was on a call with himwhile he was driving and his
wife leaned over and was likehey, I don't know what you're
(31:05):
doing, but like I've never seenmy husband this relaxed in my
life, like I've never thank you.
Like it was a, it was acoaching call that he forgot
about.
He was in the car drivingsomewhere with his wife and had
our coach on speakerphone andshe was just like I don't know
what, what is happening at thework, but keep doing what you
guys are doing.
Because this guy is a differenthuman at home and it's because
(31:28):
he wasn't waking up at 4 am toput out fires.
He wasn't waking up at 12o'clock saying I didn't send
that estimate.
He goes to his laptop at 1230am to write up an estimate, but
instead it was organized and thefires are still going to happen
, but we're dealing with two tothree fires, not 17 to 18 fires.
(31:50):
So can we work ahead to try andkeep us in our brains engaged
at home because there's notfires popping up every single
evening?
Because tomorrow I didn't planfor?
I think that's that's numberone.
I think that's a big one.
I think one other thing thatthat if we're trying to
implement stuff today, if you'relistening to this and saying,
listen, I need to get my lifetogether, I need to get my
marriage better, I need tocommit to do what I'm doing, do
(32:14):
what I commit to doing.
I think the CEA that we have isthe first step for you.
I think if you lay out to aclient, before you get started,
your expectations of them andwhat they should expect out of
you, and lay out exactly that, Ithink one of my favorite lines
in the entire CEA is these areour work hours.
I'm here eight, 30 to five,monday through Friday.
(32:37):
Call me anytime you want, textme anytime you want.
During those hours I'm here foryou.
But this is a three-monthproject for you, so it's super
intense for the next threemonths.
I've been doing this for 20years and I plan to continue
doing it for the next 20 years,and so this is my day in and day
out, so I can't work nights andweekends on your projects.
I'm working nine to five nightsand weekends on my family's.
(32:58):
I need to recharge my battery,so you you have a hundred
percent of me during the week,so is that fair for me to ask?
We keep most of ourcommunication Monday through
Friday.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
Oh yeah, totally get it.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Totally get it.
No, that makes sense.
I love that that you guys dothat right.
I hear that all the time.
Fast forward three weeks,clients calling you on Saturday.
Hey, I'm thinking about what ifwe did this with the flooring?
And it's like, hey, hey thinkabout it some more.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Let's talk on Monday.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Send me an email.
Remember this, what we talkedabout.
Uh, you know this is familytime.
If you could shoot me an emailon Monday, I'll get to it when I
sit down.
And if we tell that, we tellclients that we say don't text,
don't call, send an email overthe weekend, cause I'm not going
to be checking those tillMonday morning.
If your house is on fire and myexample I always use if we are
buying paint Monday morning andSunday afternoon you change your
(33:44):
mind on paint color.
Call me, that's okay.
Don't, don't make me buy athousand bucks worth of paint
that we're going to have tochange.
Send me a text, make sure weget that confirmed.
Say Clark, don't buy the painttomorrow morning.
That's that's.
That makes sense.
If you're trying to figure outwhat color carpet you're doing
in three weeks from now, send mean email.
We'll talk Monday.
And every single time clientssit here and say that that's
(34:05):
great, that makes so much sense.
I I've never, have you ever hadpushback on hours outside.
I think we had one investor waslike I'm only in town on
Saturdays, can we meet then?
And we talked to the projectmanager and was like how do you
feel about meeting him onSaturdays.
If you don't want it, we'll sayno to this job Outside of that.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I've never had pushback on that schedule
Because people know that that'sreasonable.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Yes, people understand in that moment.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yes, before we start the job, it's reasonable when it
starts affecting their life.
I can't sleep because I'mtrying to think about what's
happening next.
And that's when they want toreach out to you.
Then it's not in their head andif you haven't had that
conversation, you haven't setthe boundaries.
Their understanding ofcontractors is that they'll be
(34:50):
Johnny on the spot, ready totake your call morning, noon,
night.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
I am your concierge, how you say so.
Yeah, I think that is thehaving the number one, the CEA,
in place, where we're talkingabout work hours and what's OK
and what's not OK, getting themto sign the agreement in writing
that they've signed that thoseare the times that they can
(35:21):
contact me.
Yeah, and then number two, howdo we set up your processes to
where you have office hoursconsistently?
I want your Monday throughFriday fairly consistent.
What we do on Mondays is sitevisits.
Tuesdays are office days.
Wednesday, thursdays are free,do stuff in the field.
Friday's half day in the office.
If we can get a set week likethat to where there's a rhythm
(35:41):
Now it changes weekly sometimes,but there's a rhythm to your
weeks Then I'm now not sayingnow I'm not visiting a job site
on Wednesday, and then two morejob sites on Thursday for all
for estimates, and then FridayI've got a full day packed but I
haven't thought about when I'mwriting that estimate.
Well, now I've got threeestimates to write and it's
Saturday morning and I'mchoosing that over going to
(36:03):
breakfast with my family.
Um, when we?
You know there's a lot of thosesystems that we try to put in
place when you come into thecoaching program of hey, when I,
when you schedule an estimate,we're putting two blocks on your
calendar, one for the estimateand one to write it up, but two
time blocks on your calendar forthat period when, when you go
on site.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Hey, maybe, maybe you're really good at
compartmentalizing and you cansay, oh, you know what, I've
lost some time this week.
Saturday morning I'm going towake up a little bit early, I'm
going to get X, y and Z done.
Uh, for some people that's notreally an option.
Like the working on that thingSaturday morning is going to
(36:43):
kind of set the tone for therest of your weekend and, uh,
maybe not the best idea, butlike I can't say that some
people would actually be like I,I can set boundaries, I can
work a little bit in the offhours, I can do some work at
night.
Uh, because I really good withboundaries, I'm good with
(37:03):
putting things down.
I just know the things that Ihave to get done.
Yeah, great, you're the.
You can make those decisionsfor your life.
Yeah, for me, I kind of knowhow I'm built a little bit and
there's things that I can do nowthat I couldn't do five years
ago in terms ofcompartmentalizing.
But I'm still an emotionallyreactive guy that can end up in
(37:26):
a mood because of something thatis not I'm not going to need to
deal with until, you know,three days from now, but it has
affected me now Also putting onmy consultant hat with
contractors.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Even if they can compartmentalize, even if they
can do that really well, even ifthat's just their norm and they
can kind of fit things in,that's great for you.
There's no scalability in yourcompany that way.
You can't hire a PM and trainhim to work Saturday morning
sometimes when he needs to right.
We got to have a systematic waythat your company and your time
runs, that we can train someoneon.
(38:01):
That can come in aside, asidebeside you, and run jobs with
you and in your company and beyour, your project manager hire.
If we don't have that scheduleset up, how are you going to
train them Like, oh, we just dothis whenever we, we, whenever
you have space.
Well, you got me till five andI'm going home Like you're.
(38:21):
You're not paying me to worknights and weekends, I'm not
doing that man.
And so all of a sudden, thathire comes in and they're
underperforming because they'renot following how you do things
and how you do things you can'task an employee to do because
you are burning the candle atboth ends as an owner Right and
so like, if you trying to scalethis company and grow it beyond
(38:42):
just yourself.
This is minimum stuff you gotto get in place before bringing
someone on much less to saveyour marriage and family and and
free time and sanity.
I think that's, that's a,that's a big one, I think.
The other thing I would, I wouldsuggest doing too, if this is
hitting home, it's like, yeah, Idon't, I don't, I don't spend
(39:02):
enough time with my family.
Great, this week we're going to, we're going to have a block
for us.
My, my girls dance Mondaythrough Thursday and on Saturday
, so we have Friday and Sundaysoff.
So for us, friday night's, myfamily night period.
You, if you try to call meafter about four, 30 on a Friday
, you will not get me.
I promise Period Period.
Uh, that's just what we do.
(39:24):
We do, you know, either Fridaynights we do that, saturday
after dance, we usually dohomemade pizzas, like we've got
our, our, our set, stuff that wedo as a family and you're not
getting that.
Like there's nothing you can doto get ahold of me in those
times.
Honor, that do that.
And here's, here's the worstpart that I remember from back
in the day when I was trying togrow my company, I would be
(39:46):
doing something with Esther.
My wife and I would be not madthat I was there at the movies,
but I'd be like I really wish Iwas at the office.
I really I got so much and youjust got to shove that down and
ignore it.
Because that is where, once youstart engaging and enjoying
(40:06):
those moments, that is the mostimportant, and you mentioned
this in passing a second earlierin this podcast.
But if that is you, if youcan't quit work, if you can't
enjoy your wife, enjoy being afather, enjoy life in general,
and all we do is grind at work,go see a therapist.
(40:27):
Like there is no better thingyou can do for your company than
to get healthy mentally.
Uh, to to see a therapist,cause that will end you, that
will burn you out.
You, you, you're not Mark Cuban, you're not someone that's
going to build a uh, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Mark Cuban season counselor.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
I bet he does too.
But I'm saying like, don't be,like I'm not fighting you, I'm
not fighting you.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
I'm just, I'm just thrown in there.
It's for the podcast.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Perfect, thank you.
No, that's good.
The you're not going to be abillionaire.
Like it's not like a rise andgrind mindset, we're just going
to you know, or that guy.
That's like you know, my, myfirst day is from 4am to 8am and
my second day is from 8am tonoon.
It's like cool and that's goingto burn people out and that's
(41:10):
not real.
Like that's not reality.
You're not.
You're not going to havehealthy or happy relationships
If that's how you live your lifepermanently.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
You know what I've also heard on separate.
One of them was when we went toMichigan and the guy was
talking about yeah, but when I'mwith my kids, I'm with them.
I put my phone down and I'mlike right there with them and
I've heard somebody else talkabout it like that and it's like
great, but it's not.
You're not going to build therelationships you want with the
(41:46):
most important people in yourlife by just giving.
Just giving them the weekendyeah.
What about their day at school?
What about your kid's day atschool?
That day?
Yeah.
And what about your wife's dayor week with the kids?
You know there's all sorts ofthings like you need to be
present for life and it doesn'tjust happen on the weekends.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Yeah, your wife and kids aren't an appointment.
Yeah, you know, your job is thepoint.
Like you're it isn't, like itwill fit that in on Thursday the
11th and we'll do like, no,that's, that's, you've got it
flipped around.
I think one one point of thistoo, is like there is a spot to
where you you look back and say,man, I've done it wrong.
(42:32):
Man, do that often.
Look back often and look backat how, what your relationship
looks like.
A lot of guys bury their head inwork because they don't like
their wife, they don't likebeing at home.
Okay, so don't bury like, dealwith that.
Go see a therapist, go to thecouples therapy, go figure out
why you don't like being at home, because you probably don't
(42:52):
like yourself at home.
Yeah, for real.
So I think that's like startflipping that around.
You know, I think, like I saidin the beginning of this, my
problem was always it's babes.
Give me six months and babe in,by next year I should be here,
and so we'll be able to enjoy ittoday.
(43:13):
Plan a vacation today, likeit's not a.
We're going to get to thisseason then, cause it doesn't
get easier.
Growing a company gets harderand it's more demanding and more
people you hire, the morepeople demand your time, and so
it's not going to get any easierthan it is today.
Even if maybe I'll have moremoney next year, who cares Like?
You don't need to go to theBahamas for for a vacation stay.
(43:37):
Stay in town, have a staycationat your own home, like just
take time off, be with yourfamily, invest in those
relationships.
It is something that absolutelyyou have to do.
If you feel like you'rehamstrung with your job, if you
feel like I have to do this,we'll do that next week.
Give me a call and I'll walkyou through it.
I will help you identify fromthe outside what you, when we
(43:59):
can find space and how we got toorganize this differently.
That will be a free call.
I'm not trying to sell coachingon that.
I would love to help you withthat, but what we need to do is
realize why we started thesecompanies, why we're doing what
we're doing and what are theactual priorities in our life,
and make sure that those arewhat we're striving for today,
not when I get there.
(44:21):
Then I'll do that.
Anything to add, no, all right.
Well, next week we're talkingwith my wife about all of my
flaws, which will be fun in thefollowing week.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
I've got your therapist coming in, so we'll
talk to Phil's.
Got a lot to talk about.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
I can't wait to meet him.
No, but no, I appreciate youopen up about your personal life
on this.
I think it's super helpful.
But yeah, keep doing whatyou're doing.
You're a good dad.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Oh, my daughter has a broken leg right now, so I saw
that.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
I saw.
I told her not to backtalk you,but at 18 months you got to
learn young.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
What happened for real she was.
We were going up the stairs togo to bed and she's climbing the
stairs and then like stops,turns around and wants to come
down.
So she's coming down, she canwalk and she's kind of learning.
She's like holding the railingand just kind of slips on the
step to the landing.
(45:19):
So it's not even a big fall andI catch her.
But her left foot plants beforeI catch her and she got what
they call a toddler's fracture.
Oh, and you can't even see iton an x-ray.
So I don't know if it's real,but she has a full leg cast.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
She just learned how to walk and now she is hobbled
and she can't walk.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
So it's like is he frustrated with it?
She was initially.
I think I'm projecting more onher because now you got a
carrier everywhere.
Well, it's that like we wentfrom her walking, yeah, and
being independent, to likeneeding to be carried everywhere
again.
But when I think about myself,like if I'm in a full leg cast
and I'm hampered, I'm like Ican't think of a worse thing for
(46:03):
me than to be like immobile orlike hampered in that way, and
I'm like, oh, that would suck.
Oh, that would suck man.
So I'm, I'm more frustratedthan her Poor girl.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Well, I hope she gets better soon.
She will All right.
Guys Talk to you next week.
Bye, bye.
Welcome to Contractor Cuts, where we cover the good,
the bad and the ugly of growinga successful contracting company
.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome back to Contractor Cuts.
My name is Clark Turner and I'mJames McConnell.
Thank you, guys, for joining usthis week.
Today we are talking about areally fun topic, but I think
probably one of the mostimportant topics that I end up
getting into a lot with guys incoaching that they don't realize
is coming and it always ends upbeing a really good thing that
(00:34):
we talk through which is, ifyou've got a spouse, if you've
got a girlfriend, if you've gotchildren, if you've got people
in your life that you care about, how is their life being
affected by your decisions inthis company?
I think we're going to divedeep into the work-life balance
and that's you know.
That's a kind of one of thosesayings that people use all the
(00:57):
time, but I think the goal ofthis is what are you sacrificing
and who is sacrificing becauseyou're trying to build this
company?
Um, and if you're listening tothis, not started like thinking
of starting your own or juststarting, take this as, hey, I
will need to make sure I'msetting my path the right way.
Uh, if you've been doing thisfor a long time and your
(01:18):
marriage is struggling, takethis and listen to it and try to
implement some stuff in termsof how you can press into it.
I think one of the things thata lot of guys miss including
myself in this industry is thatwe confuse the end goal and the
journey.
Right, it's once we get there,then right.
(01:41):
And I think I've said this.
One of the things that my wifeand I have fought about in years
past is I'm always like we'rein a season.
Once I get X, I'll be able torelax and be here more.
Once we get this spot, we'll begood.
Once I actually, you know, Ineed two more hires and then I
(02:01):
can kind of sit back and we cango on vacations and relax and
I'll be here more.
And there's always yeah.
But next season, yes, okay, weget, I make those two hires,
yeah, but I got to fire this guy.
Like, okay, I just can't, I'mgoing to keep grinding, Give me
six more months to where it'salways these moving goalposts in
our relationship that I'mconstantly just pushing further
(02:22):
and further and further out of.
I just got to burn the candleat both ends now.
Then we'll be able to relax,right.
And so today we're talkingabout that.
We're talking about how toidentify that, how to avoid that
and how to step out of thatdance if you were in the middle
of it, because the the end goal,the why of why you're doing
(02:44):
this, is usually and should beyour family, right, like most
people aren't startingconstruction companies or kind
of backing into this industryand working in this industry
just for fun.
It's the end goal of this.
Is financial freedom, isstability for my family, time
(03:05):
spent with my kids, being anactive father and an active
husband, not just someone thatpays the bills for them, and so
that's what we're diving intotoday.
Fun topic, light topic this isso lighthearted.
Yeah, I think we have twodifferent paths that we started
on and we ended up at a verysimilar spot.
(03:26):
I started a constructioncompany at 24 and have continued
through my 40s.
You came in working forcompanies, trying to work your
way up in them trying to, thoughyou had the same work ethic as
an owner.
That's why you got to whereyou're at right Of, you weren't
(03:48):
just putting in the minimum.
You have always um.
I love to hear from yourperspective on being an employee
at a at a construction companyand then the transition into
ownership, and then startingcompanies and then adding your
first child into that and thencontinuing from there.
That's pretty personal.
(04:09):
Yeah, that's fine, let's pullup pictures of your kid and your
wife and let's no.
I love to hear a little bitthat journey from the grind as
an employee versus the grind asan owner.
You have the same number ofhours in a week.
You honestly like as anemployee, you you had some heavy
(04:30):
responsibilities that you endedup getting into, uh, as you
moved up, uh up with us and intokind of the upper management
and then stepping into ownership.
Um, did you feel a differencein those two things?
Did you feel that?
Do you feel like in thebeginning, in your twenties, in
early marriage, you weregrinding and more company
(04:50):
committed?
Or was it like that was my joband I come home and I'm doing it
Like, tell me, tell me aboutthat.
Like your, your early work,work years?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Well, I wanted out of construction.
By the time I came andinterviewed with you, yeah, I'd
been in, was doing a lot oflabor, and then I was selling
roofs for like one month, whichwas terrible, and then I was
working for this commercialcompany.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
You got married when you were at the commercial
company, right Like two yearsbefore, two to three years
before.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
ProServe yeah, like two to three years before.
So I was.
I don't.
Honestly, I like working, Ilike hard work, and it was never
(05:52):
a until recently, like maybethe past two, three years, I
didn't really generate an offswitch and that was really fine
initially, because there's um,when you're starting with a
company and you kind of arewired like that, there is
(06:14):
constant oh, here's like a newresponsibility, cause we see
that you can do that, here's anew responsibility.
And somebody wired like that islike perfect, yes, I'm being
recognized for like doing it andI'll take any of that I can get
.
Give me more responsibility,give me this, give me that.
And so it wasn't like a oh, I'mdone with work, so I'm turning,
(06:38):
turning the switch off.
It was like I'm done with work,but what else can I do to show
that I'm still in this, that I'min the game and, I think, for a
long while?
There's like a lot of noveltyto that, and so that's what
keeps me engaged.
Is novelty.
It really like until I startedgetting people under me, it was.
(07:04):
It was pretty easy for me tosee like what I needed to be
doing.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, once people started once I had full control
of your plate?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yes, and like.
Well, I mean, you know there'screws and stuff, but like, at
the end of the day I can like goout, be on site, make sure that
I address the things.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And any issues that you had to deal with.
You had full control of causingthe issue, so you felt full
responsibility in dealing withthe issue.
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
So in that again, for my emotional personality,
that's like really, I reallylike that.
Yeah, even if it's bad, I likeknowing where the blame should
be.
Yeah, like that feels good insome way.
No, um, so it wasn't reallyuntil people started coming
(07:55):
under me that it was, uh, moreheady like.
Oh, I've, like I need space notto be doing anything but just
to kind of think through some ofthis stuff.
And so getting out of the fieldand spending more time and kind
of the the ether is, I think,where that, the type of stress
(08:20):
you're talking about, that youknow can can hurt relationships,
really started to becomeproblematic for me, and to the
point where I can't rememberwhen it was.
But there was one night and thisis when I was living in the
apartments uh in Woodstock therewas one I couldn't sleep.
(08:40):
It wasn't, it wasn't abnormalfor me to like get up and get
out of the house by like five,30, six o'clock, but this one,
this one morning I couldn't fallasleep and I left at like three
, 30 to just head to the office,cause like there's no point in
me doing anything right now,like I can't sleep and my wife
(09:00):
calls me at like four, likeright, as I'm pulling up to the
office, she's like where are you?
And I was like I'm at work andshe's like that's a problem.
And I was like I couldn't sleep.
There's nothing.
She's like that's a problem.
So like I.
I remember that, oh, I don'teven know what all was going on.
(09:21):
It was in the mix of, likedifferent uh uh office personnel
, project managers.
Everything just seemed to notbe jiving and it was like the
only thing I can think to do iswork.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yeah, well, and it was the first time that not
first time, but it was the firstseason for you of having other
people being responsible forother people, to where I think
you carried heavier than anyoneelse.
I've seen the responsibility ofhelping and taking care of
(10:52):
other people, which is a greatthing, but also you carry too
much of that weight and that'sjust your personality, and that
was something that I think we weworked through together in
terms of like, cause I'm theopposite of that.
I'm like I did my part sucksfor them Right, and that was
something that I think we workedthrough together in terms of
like, because I'm the oppositeof that.
I'm like I did my part.
It sucks for them and you'relike I did my part.
I can't believe they did that.
I need to go fix it.
And so then you went from aspace of I have five things on
(11:15):
my plate.
I got rid of them.
Two issues came up.
It came on my plate.
I issues came up, it came on myplate.
I handled it to where youflipped it to where I have two
things on my plate.
I got rid of them.
All of a sudden, five thingswent wrong, and now those are
all on my plate, which is likenow aha, I just, I just cleared
my plate, I just got it all done, right.
And so I think that is thestress, that again, this isn't
necessarily marriage, but it waswhat led to stress in your
(11:36):
marriage, right, it was the the.
It went from controllable towhere you can turn it off, cause
you knew exactly whereeverything was, to uncontrolled.
All of a sudden, you're atdinner with your wife and you
get a text message from a clientthat's like there's people
smoking weed in our house, rightthere's.
There's stuff where it's likewho, what, what, like what, and
(11:58):
now, instead of sitting atdinner, you're outside on the
phone trying to solve problemsbecause other people made stupid
mistakes, right.
So I think that was a bigtransition for you.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yeah, and it's more like I don't think I'll ever be
in a place where stuff doesn'tlike.
Just coming in here today,multiple texts and emails that
I'm like, ah, that are just onme.
Now I can deal with it muchbetter than I used to, but it's
(12:33):
the.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
It's a chain around your neck until it's gone.
Yeah, Like.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
I need some type of resolution, at least knowing
that there's something movingtowards resolution.
And I think that's like I don'tknow.
I think that's just the hardestpart for me of this whole
company ownership type thing isfeeling like there's not anybody
(13:02):
else that's going to move thisin the direction towards
resolution, because that's whatit always feels like.
It's just like you areresolving whatever's not
resolved, yeah, and there'salways a million things to
resolve if it's not somethingthat is pressing like a client
issue.
There's insurance stuff andmaking sure everybody has their
(13:25):
paperwork and making sure thatwhen you do your quarterly
reconciliations, that everyonehas is up to date, and it's like
there's always, always, alwayssomething to be doing.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Did you follow that paperwork that you had no clue
was supposed to be filed withthe state back in January?
Yeah, no, what, yeah whatpaperwork.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah, so I feel like I'm on a on a trail.
I've lost the beginning and Idon't know where we're going
right now.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
So well, I think what , what, what we're trying to
cover too is like the stress ofbeing an employee in your
twenties, and how did thataffect your marriage verse.
You're now in a, in a totallydifferent season, with a child
that you've had for a while now,you know, 18 months, year and a
half, so you've you've kind oftransitioned into.
(14:14):
It's not just I'm sorry to mywife, but now I'm affecting the
livelihood and the experienceand the forever emotions of a
human.
Yeah, when let's start in thebeginning, though, like you're
talking about, like thattransition when you were just
married but taking on moreresponsibility, moving up in the
(14:35):
company, how did that affectyour marriage?
And if it didn't, that's okay.
Where was your marriagesuffering from those times and
what did you do about it?
And what should have you done?
If you could rewrite some ofthe 4am going into the office
and your wife waking up byherself?
Yeah, what would have you donedifferently in those?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
stages.
I think that's a good notebecause that's, I think, you got
me back on the track here.
Through counseling, throughconversations with my wife, with
my family, I think I've come toan understanding that I should
have known a long time ago.
But I'm very performance-basedand the early stuff, when you're
(15:21):
not an employer and you're anemployee, there is, or should be
, constant recognition of thepositive things that you're
doing and then a redirection ofthe things that you could be
improving on.
And for whatever part of myperformance in life is receiving
(15:47):
criticism well, even though noone likes criticism, yeah, but
if you're performance based, youneed to be able to understand
and recognize when obviouslyeveryone has things that they
can improve on.
So why shouldn't I be anydifferent?
You should take everything thatis said to you by people that
you trust.
As you know, there's there'sgotta be some truth in here.
(16:09):
How do I change?
But when you become theemployer and you're running your
stuff, uh, there's very littleof that, if any.
There's not a uh, your wife cantell you, oh, you're doing
great and you know how arethings.
(16:31):
It just doesn't.
It's not the same as havingsomebody be like, hey, here's
what you need to be doing betteror hey, this is really positive
.
Let's focus more on this,because you just don't feel like
that person really understandswhat you're really talking about
.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And an employee looks at you and says, oh, this is
just who he is.
I'm not like employees don'tgive feedback, like coworkers do
, or like a boss, like anemployee that's underneath you.
If you are not giving them thesupport they want, that's a
character flaw in you and theirmind Like that's just who James
is, so I'm not.
Like I'm not gonna, like hejust is a sucky boss, so I'm not
(17:11):
gonna.
And so you have like thissmiley face when you meet with
the guy and then fast forwardsix months and he quits and he's
like well, I quit because youjust are a terrible boss.
It's like what?
Yeah, that was like when did wetalk?
Like I didn't even know, thatthat's new news to me.
Like, and I think that not thatthey, anyone was like you're a
(17:32):
terrible boss, but like therewere some guys that that left,
that we won't name, that hadissues with you and that drove
you nuts.
Because it's like I didn't evenknow and I did everything and I
did this for you and I did this, and that's not fair and that's
not.
Anyways, I think, getting offtrack again, but getting back
onto it, how do you, how doesthat manifest in your personal
(17:53):
life?
Like how, with that level ofstress, that kind of ticked up
when you started transitioninginto upper management, how did
that show itself in yourpersonal life, in your marriage,
in your relationships, and whatdo you think you did wrong and
what do you think you did right?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Wrong.
What I did wrong was I.
I just didn't.
I wasn't being introspectiveenough about what I wanted out
of the journey.
Yeah, and it was just morebased on what came across, what
(18:36):
came in front of me.
Yeah, and how could I take thatand do whatever with it?
I didn't spend much timethinking about the direction
that I wanted to be going andwhat would be fulfilling for me
personally, and not that that iseverything that you enjoy and
that, like you feel, like thepeople around you are bringing
(19:10):
life to what you're doing.
I don't think that as muchanymore.
I think that it's.
It is really important that youfeel connected to the work that
you're doing.
Because when I, when I don'tfeel a connection to work, when
I don't feel like what I'm doingis important connection to work
, when I don't feel like whatI'm doing is important F it,
(19:30):
yeah, like I, it's not bringinglife and, in fact, it's just
sucking life out of me.
And that was the, the, the, theapartment when we were there,
for whatever reason, that was awhatever reason, that was a uh,
(19:53):
that was just all life takingtime Does.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Do you identify that first?
Or does your wife identify itfirst, like when that stuff
happens when you get to thatplace, is she?
Is she raising a flag sayinghey, you're, you're absent,
you're, you know you're.
You're not here with me whenyou're sitting here with me, or
is it you feeling it though,because you're still can perform
and be here, so you're feelingin the background?
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yeah, it's the background, it's, I think
probably most guys that havepartners or whatever deal with
this, and it's not allowing yourspouse into the pain, into the
(20:35):
struggle, because you want toprotect them from feeling your
energy.
Yeah, and that's probably thebiggest mistake, because my wife
is very capable, very strong,has great advice, has great
(20:59):
insights and I kept her frombeing able to be part of the
solving of some of my struggles.
Yeah, and a lot of that isbased in the performance because
, like you have to you, you needto be able, you need to be able
(21:19):
to shut the door on somethingand, like, know that you can
pick that up tomorrow, thatyou're not going to solve this
issue, that this is a work thingand it's not a life thing, and
you need to shut the door andthen tomorrow you can open the
door again and begin dealingwith it again.
But it is not, it's not a lifething.
You need to let that thing gofor a couple hours and have your
(21:42):
life.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Well, I think also great point, what you, what you
just said is there's a lot ofguys say, hey, I don't want to
bring work home with me, so I'mnot going to talk about it here,
when in fact they brought ithome with them and talking about
it, we'll let them release it,right, like?
my wife sometimes, but when Ibring it and when I don't bring
(22:05):
it home with me, quote unquotebecause I'm just not going to
tell my wife how I'm about totears on a job site earlier
today because I was justscreaming at this crew that just
absolutely screwed me Right,whatever it is, and I get home
like hey, babe, how was your dayRight?
And I'm just don't want to dealwith it and don't want to talk
about it.
I'm still bringing it homebecause I'm sitting on the couch
(22:32):
with her watching a show, justin a different world, thinking
about it.
I'm not engaging, I'm notlooking at her, we're not having
a conversation.
I'm just thinking through whathappened today.
I'm so pissed off, but I don'twant to talk about it.
I want to leave work at work.
Yeah, and it's like you did it.
You did, you brought it homeand and that's here, it's the
other girlfriend on the couch.
Yes, and so the the whole likeoh, I don't want to burden her
with this, that's not burningburdening her, you are burdening
(22:52):
her by just sitting therebrooding.
Yes, and you're making ithappen.
What's?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
wrong Nothing.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yep, it's.
It's amazing because most malesare fixers.
I want to fix it.
You give me a problem.
I'm going to tell you a way tosolve it.
Um, and most females again, notall on either side uh, are, hey,
let's hear it.
I'll just want to connect andhear it, right, and so you know,
if my wife tells me an issuethat she's having at work, I'm
telling her seven ways to fix it.
Well, what if you did this?
How about you do this?
And I don't want that.
And she doesn't either.
Right, it's not my job to fixit, and this is my job to listen
(23:28):
.
And I'll ask her that.
Right, I'll say, hey, is this a?
Do you want my help fixing itor do you want me to listen to
you?
Right, but vice versa, when I'msitting there, I'm like, I
don't want, like give me ananswer.
She just wants to hear what'sgoing on in my world, right, and
so I think that's one of thebig things in terms of you're on
(23:49):
an Island in this industry,right, it's hard to do this by
yourself.
Even if you have a partner, itstill feels isolating Sometimes.
Partner in business, it feelsisolating sometimes.
And it's one of those things ofhow do you invite your wife
into that conversation, to whereshe's not carrying the burden,
but she's there with you,holding your hand, being with
(24:10):
you, understanding where you'reat, because that's emotional
connection.
That's that's being emotionallyconnected to them, is letting
them know where you're at, evenif it's stupid, even if it's bad
.
And I'm listen, I'm pot calling,cut a black.
I'm terrible at this and I'velearned over the years.
Hopefully I'm better than I wasfive years ago, and five years
ago was better than I was 10years ago.
(24:30):
But being able to have thatdiscussion where I'm not just
complaining about work, I'm notjust complaining about people,
but I'm telling them, abouttelling her about my feelings,
like God, it really, just likeit.
Really I was disappointed inthis guy and, honestly, like it
made me question if I'm evengood at this.
(24:51):
Like if you can say that outloud to your wife you're going
to be taken care of usually,like it's going to change.
Being able to verbalize stufflike that is going to change
your dynamic with her as well asyour trust in her, trusting
that she's going to give you theresponse that you need.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Yeah, I think, for I think for me, the thing that I
kept finding was and kind of whyI stopped wanting to share is
she?
You know, she might ask me howI'm doing, but I get there's
probably guys out there that canconnect with this.
When I start talking about thething, I pretty quickly
(25:36):
emotionally get right back tothat spot when it initially
happened.
And so the conversation goesfrom how was your day?
It's like it was Tommy and thisguy's here and this, and by the
end of it I'm like and I'm likewell, what are we even doing?
Speaker 2 (25:50):
What are we doing?
What does she do?
When you, when you amp up, doesshe have like a, a sign to calm
you down?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
No, it's like um, it's what do you do with that
guy?
He, I'm like, I'm right back inthe moment.
I'm with the person.
That has nothing to do with thesituation and you're screaming
at her about it and it's likethat's what pulls you out, is
like you see this person thatyou're talking to and like the
(26:18):
glaze falls off and they'relooking at you like okay, and
you're like sorry, I just wentright back.
It's like, nah, you know, Idon't know how.
So, anyway, that's like the hasbeen kind of.
The key for me is going beingasked the question how's that
(26:42):
going?
How's your day?
Having to sit with it andactually explain how I'm feeling
, not what happened, not thedetails of the thing Like those
are so less important than, like, the big picture.
I felt completely out of controlabout what's happening.
I feel like I've been tryingreally hard, I've been working
(27:07):
on myself to try and handlethese situations better, and it
just doesn't feel like I'mmaking progress.
And then that's when my wifejumps in and says I need to tell
you about some of the progressthat I've seen.
Yeah, and like hearing thatfrom somebody on the outside,
and almost every time I end upfeeling better about the
(27:27):
situation because she's bringinga perspective that I had
forgotten, I've discountedbecause that's my job, you know,
and that's like kind of likethe easy decision deferment for
someone that's a performanceperson is like you did this so
well.
That's my job.
Like you know, that's what Igot to do.
You know that's my job.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Hey, I'm just a fixer .
You know that's my deal.
I'm just amazing.
I got such a high bar formyself.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
So did I answer that?
No, that's good.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
No, that's good.
That's good you did, you did.
We're focusing a lot on Jameson this one Cause.
Next week, uh, my wife iscoming on the podcast to talk
about my problems, so it'll begreat.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
It'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
If she, if she shows up, we'll see she.
She probably will take it threeto four hours of all my issues,
but anyways, I appreciate yousharing some of that stuff.
Let's, let's, let's keep going.
The one of the biggest thingsthat I see when I, when I'm
coaching guys and I see this, Ithink if we're looking practical
in your life, you know, inanyone who's running
construction jobs and companies,the better their relationship
(28:33):
is with their wife usuallydepends on when they're working
on.
What that means is today.
Am I working on yesterday andtoday's problems, or today, am I
working on next week and theweek after his problems?
If I can be proactively working, setting up schedules, putting
out next week's fires beforethey come up, organizing my jobs
(28:56):
, I am then able to be morepresent at home.
If I'm working on what happenedyesterday and today, when
tomorrow happens, I got 17 firesthat pop up because I didn't
think about it, I didn't dopre-construction walk with this
client, I didn't do the like, Ididn't do a selections workbook
and now my tile guy standingthere with no tile.
I didn't like, I didn't startproactively working through my
(29:19):
jobs ahead of time to wheretoday, every single day, day
over day, for the last threeyears has been.
I'm dealing with today's firesthat are 17 to 20 fires and so,
babe, I said I'd be home at five.
It's 830.
And I probably won't get hometill 10.
Cause I've got to do all thisstuff Right.
I think that is on a on a morebasic but bigger picture picture
(29:41):
where it starts right Withmessing up your relationships at
home.
Not being there for the kids'games, not being a present
person at home oftentimes is asystems problem, is a I don't
organize my day and look forwardto planning next week because I
don't have fires today.
(30:02):
So I'm going to start layingout next week's progress of
what's happening on my job sites.
So then by next week there's nofires and what I plan to do I
can do and I can go home at fivebecause I'm done.
So I think that's kind of smallbasic laying out systems to
where we're not working fortoday, we're not working for
yesterday, but we're working forthe next two to three weeks,
(30:23):
planning out, working ahead,having the time, having the
space and capacity to write theestimates, to not be constantly
just burning the candle at bothends.
How do we get ahead of doingthat?
And I think that's one of thebig things I see when guys come
into coaching.
That's what I'm trying to fix.
Number one that's what we'reworking on of I want to project
(30:45):
out in the future what we'redoing.
If you're dealing with what'shappening tomorrow, we're too
late.
We got to be dealing withwhat's happening next week.
I think that's number one.
I think one.
I remember one a guy that was incoaching that came through here
.
I might've told the storybefore, but we one of our
coaches was on a call with himwhile he was driving and his
wife leaned over and was likehey, I don't know what you're
(31:05):
doing, but like I've never seenmy husband this relaxed in my
life, like I've never thank you.
Like it was a, it was acoaching call that he forgot
about.
He was in the car drivingsomewhere with his wife and had
our coach on speakerphone andshe was just like I don't know
what, what is happening at thework, but keep doing what you
guys are doing.
Because this guy is a differenthuman at home and it's because
(31:28):
he wasn't waking up at 4 am toput out fires.
He wasn't waking up at 12o'clock saying I didn't send
that estimate.
He goes to his laptop at 1230am to write up an estimate, but
instead it was organized and thefires are still going to happen
, but we're dealing with two tothree fires, not 17 to 18 fires.
(31:50):
So can we work ahead to try andkeep us in our brains engaged
at home because there's notfires popping up every single
evening?
Because tomorrow I didn't planfor?
I think that's that's numberone.
I think that's a big one.
I think one other thing thatthat if we're trying to
implement stuff today, if you'relistening to this and saying,
listen, I need to get my lifetogether, I need to get my
marriage better, I need tocommit to do what I'm doing, do
(32:14):
what I commit to doing.
I think the CEA that we have isthe first step for you.
I think if you lay out to aclient, before you get started,
your expectations of them andwhat they should expect out of
you, and lay out exactly that, Ithink one of my favorite lines
in the entire CEA is these areour work hours.
I'm here eight, 30 to five,monday through Friday.
(32:37):
Call me anytime you want, textme anytime you want.
During those hours I'm here foryou.
But this is a three-monthproject for you, so it's super
intense for the next threemonths.
I've been doing this for 20years and I plan to continue
doing it for the next 20 years,and so this is my day in and day
out, so I can't work nights andweekends on your projects.
I'm working nine to five nightsand weekends on my family's.
(32:58):
I need to recharge my battery,so you you have a hundred
percent of me during the week,so is that fair for me to ask?
We keep most of ourcommunication Monday through
Friday.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
Oh yeah, totally get it.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Totally get it.
No, that makes sense.
I love that that you guys dothat right.
I hear that all the time.
Fast forward three weeks,clients calling you on Saturday.
Hey, I'm thinking about what ifwe did this with the flooring?
And it's like, hey, hey thinkabout it some more.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Let's talk on Monday.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Send me an email.
Remember this, what we talkedabout.
Uh, you know this is familytime.
If you could shoot me an emailon Monday, I'll get to it when I
sit down.
And if we tell that, we tellclients that we say don't text,
don't call, send an email overthe weekend, cause I'm not going
to be checking those tillMonday morning.
If your house is on fire and myexample I always use if we are
buying paint Monday morning andSunday afternoon you change your
(33:44):
mind on paint color.
Call me, that's okay.
Don't, don't make me buy athousand bucks worth of paint
that we're going to have tochange.
Send me a text, make sure weget that confirmed.
Say Clark, don't buy the painttomorrow morning.
That's that's.
That makes sense.
If you're trying to figure outwhat color carpet you're doing
in three weeks from now, send mean email.
We'll talk Monday.
And every single time clientssit here and say that that's
(34:05):
great, that makes so much sense.
I I've never, have you ever hadpushback on hours outside.
I think we had one investor waslike I'm only in town on
Saturdays, can we meet then?
And we talked to the projectmanager and was like how do you
feel about meeting him onSaturdays.
If you don't want it, we'll sayno to this job Outside of that.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I've never had pushback on that schedule
Because people know that that'sreasonable.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Yes, people understand in that moment.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yes, before we start the job, it's reasonable when it
starts affecting their life.
I can't sleep because I'mtrying to think about what's
happening next.
And that's when they want toreach out to you.
Then it's not in their head andif you haven't had that
conversation, you haven't setthe boundaries.
Their understanding ofcontractors is that they'll be
(34:50):
Johnny on the spot, ready totake your call morning, noon,
night.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
I am your concierge, how you say so.
Yeah, I think that is thehaving the number one, the CEA,
in place, where we're talkingabout work hours and what's OK
and what's not OK, getting themto sign the agreement in writing
that they've signed that thoseare the times that they can
(35:21):
contact me.
Yeah, and then number two, howdo we set up your processes to
where you have office hoursconsistently?
I want your Monday throughFriday fairly consistent.
What we do on Mondays is sitevisits.
Tuesdays are office days.
Wednesday, thursdays are free,do stuff in the field.
Friday's half day in the office.
If we can get a set week likethat to where there's a rhythm
(35:41):
Now it changes weekly sometimes,but there's a rhythm to your
weeks Then I'm now not sayingnow I'm not visiting a job site
on Wednesday, and then two morejob sites on Thursday for all
for estimates, and then FridayI've got a full day packed but I
haven't thought about when I'mwriting that estimate.
Well, now I've got threeestimates to write and it's
Saturday morning and I'mchoosing that over going to
(36:03):
breakfast with my family.
Um, when we?
You know there's a lot of thosesystems that we try to put in
place when you come into thecoaching program of hey, when I,
when you schedule an estimate,we're putting two blocks on your
calendar, one for the estimateand one to write it up, but two
time blocks on your calendar forthat period when, when you go
on site.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Hey, maybe, maybe you're really good at
compartmentalizing and you cansay, oh, you know what, I've
lost some time this week.
Saturday morning I'm going towake up a little bit early, I'm
going to get X, y and Z done.
Uh, for some people that's notreally an option.
Like the working on that thingSaturday morning is going to
(36:43):
kind of set the tone for therest of your weekend and, uh,
maybe not the best idea, butlike I can't say that some
people would actually be like I,I can set boundaries, I can
work a little bit in the offhours, I can do some work at
night.
Uh, because I really good withboundaries, I'm good with
(37:03):
putting things down.
I just know the things that Ihave to get done.
Yeah, great, you're the.
You can make those decisionsfor your life.
Yeah, for me, I kind of knowhow I'm built a little bit and
there's things that I can do nowthat I couldn't do five years
ago in terms ofcompartmentalizing.
But I'm still an emotionallyreactive guy that can end up in
(37:26):
a mood because of something thatis not I'm not going to need to
deal with until, you know,three days from now, but it has
affected me now Also putting onmy consultant hat with
contractors.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Even if they can compartmentalize, even if they
can do that really well, even ifthat's just their norm and they
can kind of fit things in,that's great for you.
There's no scalability in yourcompany that way.
You can't hire a PM and trainhim to work Saturday morning
sometimes when he needs to right.
We got to have a systematic waythat your company and your time
runs, that we can train someoneon.
(38:01):
That can come in aside, asidebeside you, and run jobs with
you and in your company and beyour, your project manager hire.
If we don't have that scheduleset up, how are you going to
train them Like, oh, we just dothis whenever we, we, whenever
you have space.
Well, you got me till five andI'm going home Like you're.
(38:21):
You're not paying me to worknights and weekends, I'm not
doing that man.
And so all of a sudden, thathire comes in and they're
underperforming because they'renot following how you do things
and how you do things you can'task an employee to do because
you are burning the candle atboth ends as an owner Right and
so like, if you trying to scalethis company and grow it beyond
(38:42):
just yourself.
This is minimum stuff you gotto get in place before bringing
someone on much less to saveyour marriage and family and and
free time and sanity.
I think that's, that's a,that's a big one, I think.
The other thing I would, I wouldsuggest doing too, if this is
hitting home, it's like, yeah, Idon't, I don't, I don't spend
(39:02):
enough time with my family.
Great, this week we're going to, we're going to have a block
for us.
My, my girls dance Mondaythrough Thursday and on Saturday
, so we have Friday and Sundaysoff.
So for us, friday night's, myfamily night period.
You, if you try to call meafter about four, 30 on a Friday
, you will not get me.
I promise Period Period.
Uh, that's just what we do.
(39:24):
We do, you know, either Fridaynights we do that, saturday
after dance, we usually dohomemade pizzas, like we've got
our, our, our set, stuff that wedo as a family and you're not
getting that.
Like there's nothing you can doto get ahold of me in those
times.
Honor, that do that.
And here's, here's the worstpart that I remember from back
in the day when I was trying togrow my company, I would be
(39:46):
doing something with Esther.
My wife and I would be not madthat I was there at the movies,
but I'd be like I really wish Iwas at the office.
I really I got so much and youjust got to shove that down and
ignore it.
Because that is where, once youstart engaging and enjoying
(40:06):
those moments, that is the mostimportant, and you mentioned
this in passing a second earlierin this podcast.
But if that is you, if youcan't quit work, if you can't
enjoy your wife, enjoy being afather, enjoy life in general,
and all we do is grind at work,go see a therapist.
(40:27):
Like there is no better thingyou can do for your company than
to get healthy mentally.
Uh, to to see a therapist,cause that will end you, that
will burn you out.
You, you, you're not Mark Cuban, you're not someone that's
going to build a uh, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Mark Cuban season counselor.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
I bet he does too.
But I'm saying like, don't be,like I'm not fighting you, I'm
not fighting you.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
I'm just, I'm just thrown in there.
It's for the podcast.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Perfect, thank you.
No, that's good.
The you're not going to be abillionaire.
Like it's not like a rise andgrind mindset, we're just going
to you know, or that guy.
That's like you know, my, myfirst day is from 4am to 8am and
my second day is from 8am tonoon.
It's like cool and that's goingto burn people out and that's
(41:10):
not real.
Like that's not reality.
You're not.
You're not going to havehealthy or happy relationships
If that's how you live your lifepermanently.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
You know what I've also heard on separate.
One of them was when we went toMichigan and the guy was
talking about yeah, but when I'mwith my kids, I'm with them.
I put my phone down and I'mlike right there with them and
I've heard somebody else talkabout it like that and it's like
great, but it's not.
You're not going to build therelationships you want with the
(41:46):
most important people in yourlife by just giving.
Just giving them the weekendyeah.
What about their day at school?
What about your kid's day atschool?
That day?
Yeah.
And what about your wife's dayor week with the kids?
You know there's all sorts ofthings like you need to be
present for life and it doesn'tjust happen on the weekends.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Yeah, your wife and kids aren't an appointment.
Yeah, you know, your job is thepoint.
Like you're it isn't, like itwill fit that in on Thursday the
11th and we'll do like, no,that's, that's, you've got it
flipped around.
I think one one point of thistoo, is like there is a spot to
where you you look back and say,man, I've done it wrong.
(42:32):
Man, do that often.
Look back often and look backat how, what your relationship
looks like.
A lot of guys bury their head inwork because they don't like
their wife, they don't likebeing at home.
Okay, so don't bury like, dealwith that.
Go see a therapist, go to thecouples therapy, go figure out
why you don't like being at home, because you probably don't
(42:52):
like yourself at home.
Yeah, for real.
So I think that's like startflipping that around.
You know, I think, like I saidin the beginning of this, my
problem was always it's babes.
Give me six months and babe in,by next year I should be here,
and so we'll be able to enjoy ittoday.
(43:13):
Plan a vacation today, likeit's not a.
We're going to get to thisseason then, cause it doesn't
get easier.
Growing a company gets harderand it's more demanding and more
people you hire, the morepeople demand your time, and so
it's not going to get any easierthan it is today.
Even if maybe I'll have moremoney next year, who cares Like?
You don't need to go to theBahamas for for a vacation stay.
(43:37):
Stay in town, have a staycationat your own home, like just
take time off, be with yourfamily, invest in those
relationships.
It is something that absolutelyyou have to do.
If you feel like you'rehamstrung with your job, if you
feel like I have to do this,we'll do that next week.
Give me a call and I'll walkyou through it.
I will help you identify fromthe outside what you, when we
(43:59):
can find space and how we got toorganize this differently.
That will be a free call.
I'm not trying to sell coachingon that.
I would love to help you withthat, but what we need to do is
realize why we started thesecompanies, why we're doing what
we're doing and what are theactual priorities in our life,
and make sure that those arewhat we're striving for today,
not when I get there.
(44:21):
Then I'll do that.
Anything to add, no, all right.
Well, next week we're talkingwith my wife about all of my
flaws, which will be fun in thefollowing week.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
I've got your therapist coming in, so we'll
talk to Phil's.
Got a lot to talk about.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
I can't wait to meet him.
No, but no, I appreciate youopen up about your personal life
on this.
I think it's super helpful.
But yeah, keep doing whatyou're doing.
You're a good dad.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Oh, my daughter has a broken leg right now, so I saw
that.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
I saw.
I told her not to backtalk you,but at 18 months you got to
learn young.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
What happened for real she was.
We were going up the stairs togo to bed and she's climbing the
stairs and then like stops,turns around and wants to come
down.
So she's coming down, she canwalk and she's kind of learning.
She's like holding the railingand just kind of slips on the
step to the landing.
(45:19):
So it's not even a big fall andI catch her.
But her left foot plants beforeI catch her and she got what
they call a toddler's fracture.
Oh, and you can't even see iton an x-ray.
So I don't know if it's real,but she has a full leg cast.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
She just learned how to walk and now she is hobbled
and she can't walk.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
So it's like is he frustrated with it?
She was initially.
I think I'm projecting more onher because now you got a
carrier everywhere.
Well, it's that like we wentfrom her walking, yeah, and
being independent, to likeneeding to be carried everywhere
again.
But when I think about myself,like if I'm in a full leg cast
and I'm hampered, I'm like Ican't think of a worse thing for
(46:03):
me than to be like immobile orlike hampered in that way, and
I'm like, oh, that would suck.
Oh, that would suck man.
So I'm, I'm more frustratedthan her Poor girl.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Well, I hope she gets better soon.
She will All right.
Guys Talk to you next week.
Bye, bye.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Bobby Bones Show
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.