Ep.58 - Our Reasons for a Revolution!! - Conversational Humor - An Improv Comedy Hour

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I freaking love our podcast. I'm so hungry right now.
I assumed his name was Darth Virgin.
Come on, you're talking dirty tome right now.
She's like, what do you got in your mouth?
And I got a fruit by the foot, hanging halfway down to my lap.
I like to eat my calories, not drink them.

(00:24):
All right, hello, hello, and welcome back to episode 58 of
Conversational Humor with Pawn and Balrog.
This is actually a new experiment.
I was thinking of doing a solo pod and using AI artificial
intelligence to create answers in Pun's voice.
Hi guys. See that was perfect.
Today is Friday, November the 15th of 2024 and AI Pun and I

(00:50):
are going to be talking about the legitimate.
Guys. The legitimate reasons for a
revolution. What do you think about that AI
pun? That sounds great.
Welcome back to M2. The king has returned.
Pun is in the building has. Returned.
Beat it, Charlie. Get the hell out of here.

(01:12):
Who's knocking on the damn door?Hey Andy's son, How many people
have sat in this chair since I've been here?
How many people have your dad been cheating on me with 'cause
my notes are all scribbled up and moved around?
Three people have been cheating.Wow, no loyalty in this
business. So the prodigal son has

(01:35):
returned. I'm back, baby.
Insert The Lion King drop here. I got a lot of texts that said
people miss you. Did anybody text you?
I I did drop your number on an episode.
No, you. Losers, not one person.
What a bunch of losers. Well, this is Pun's last
episode. Some guy called me saying hi,
this is Brian from the FBI and we have a warrant figure.

(01:56):
Pun's got 1 fan, her name's Lauren I.
It's funny because when I invited Charlie onto the show, I
was like, I love making people laugh.
We haven't recorded an episode in months so I invited him on
and I I was texting pun about it.
I didn't like it. First of all, he was way too
good looking. He was way too fun.
I do. I do not like other people

(02:16):
sitting in the seat he was way too good at.
It you guys should see the text conversation between Pun and me.
It was so funny. Pun was like, I feel like you
know what you're doing. And he was.
Baiting and 100% was giving. Me, the old I got a new
girlfriend speech. You know when you break up with
somebody and then they show up to like wherever you're at with
a New Girl slash guy and you're like, I know you're doing this
just to make me jealous, but it's working.

(02:38):
This person looks. Fantastic, I said to stuff.
I go. How funny would it be if I had
this text conversation with Pawnalready and Charlie didn't even
exist? Hey Pun, I'm having a guy named
Charlie Cooper on the show. I, I listen to, you know, I
don't like listening to my own voice, which I don't really know
why I didn't listen to the otherepisodes, but I listen to a
little bit with Sean and he saidsomething like, Oh yeah, 3

(03:02):
seconds into listening to pun, you get pregnant.
This guy's hyping me up baby, keep it coming.
People love the voice pun. They love the voice.
You did get one message, though.I I heard you got a message from
Randall. Oh, yeah.
Like what'd that say? I got well, you got to you got
to narrow it down a little bit because Randall text me all the
time talking junk all. Right.
Hold on. I'll narrow it down.

(03:22):
October 10th at 2:16. I know exactly what he texted
you because I sent Randall a message and said hey, text pun
and tell him how awesome Charliewas on the podcast.
So you set that up. I go the jealousy level is top
tier entertainment. And he responded LMAOI haven't
even listened yet. I said Randall, not important,
not important. We're only trying to make pun
jealous here. Why text Lauren and I go I feel

(03:44):
like Andy's intentionally tryingto make me jealous and it's work
and she goes oh he is for. Sure.
That was immediately. Pun immediately starts spitting
out list ideas. Yeah, giving me dates I'm gonna
make back. He's like a pub crawl Snoop
Snowsuit pub crawl pun Sipping on the coffee I.
Need a little I need a little pick me up.
So let's play a little game here, Pawn.
I got a new little game, OK, it's called.

(04:07):
Speaking of Lauren, it's called.How much does Pawn like Lauren?
How's the four month, 5, seven month, 6 month, 5 month?
Don't you put? Relationships going bad,
brother. All right, ready.
I got some questions. OK.
Does she have a toothbrush at your house?
Yes. Is there a hair straightener or
a dryer hair dryer at your house?
Yes, that she owns Not your girls.

(04:29):
Yes, that's getting pretty serious.
Yeah. All right.
This is a big leap. Is there a box of feminine
products at the house? Yes, there always has been
those. I got daughters so but you mean
in my bathroom upstairs she. Probably wears them panty
liners. Listen, do you?
Did I? I don't remember.

(04:50):
If we. No, we couldn't have talked.
This woman revolutionized my house.
Do you know what I was using fora trash can?
Did I tell you about this? You said it on a podcast, The
bag on the door. Yeah, she just like she's is.
It's all positive. How about this one?
How about this one? Have you guys?
Made. Love made love like.
We're almost there. Yeah, how about have you guys

(05:11):
combined grocery lists? Yes, all right, we bought AI
bought a vacuum, but with her guidance, Oh my God, I got
hardwood floors too, so it's like it was like, hey, is this
the. So you're still in the yes phase
where she was like, we should buy a vacuum.
And you were like, I don't know how to turn off carpeting.
I'm just going to buy a vacuum. Yeah, yes.

(05:32):
Alright, last one, I don't know.That's also on the list of
things I never thought I would say besides like, Oh my God,
that's a nice Buick. I never thought I would say,
like, I cannot wait to get home and try this vacuum out.
Oh. I'm so excited.
Cordless. Yes, Steph bought one of those
cordless ones and I was. Actually pretty great.
Yeah, I was like, Steph, that's a waste of money.
And then I used it and I was like, I'll I.
Yeah. I'll never go back.

(05:53):
Yeah, it's awesome. It is pretty cool.
It's like having air pods and then going back to the ones that
come free with the phone with the cord.
Oh God. Getting choked together.
And over it. Last time you guys slept
separately? Oh.
It's been a while. It's been a minute, it's been a
minute. Maybe the pub crawl night?
Listen, this one, no, we, we didn't sleep separately.
That's. A bag of Arby's.

(06:14):
Cut that out. Listen I all I need I'm going to
say in this everyone will know this woman enjoys feeding me.
Nice. She may get a ring soon.
You look good, I you look. I'm getting a little Husky
right? You, you boys put.
Some What section do you shop innowadays?
The Husky section. I mean listen, this was she
enjoys. Besides those jeans, 36 Husky.

(06:37):
Anyways, go ahead the. Last one is the obvious one, the
L word. We dropping L bombs yet?
I'm talking lust like or La La la love.
A lady never tells. All right, be sure to click
subscribe in the notification bell and leave a five star
rating for a Pun and Ball Rocks podcast.

(06:59):
You can find us everywhere podcasts are available.
I realized I said a couple weeksago when Charlie and I were
doing the new technologies, I said and the people that are
listening on web pages and otheryou guys can go ahead and buy a
smartphone. Yeah, grow up 'cause.
Remember I texted you and I saidwe're getting like these random
spikes of like every 55 episodesbeing listened to in one day?

(07:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the, it's marketing people.
I remember I sent you those texts.
I got reached out to by a marketing professional who
wanted me to invite Wanted me toinvite a guy that makes balloons
onto the podcast. Yeah, that was pretty.
I was like, we need to diversifyyour clientele here.
Griffin I don't, I don't know how would we approach that.
We should we should almost mock do that.

(07:39):
She actually, she actually sent a good idea.
She goes, you guys could do a list of things that you blow up.
And I was like, that's actually not the worst idea I've ever
heard. Sorry, you're gonna have to clip
that. Companion dolls, yeah.
Her name's Brenda. Right, you guys can call in on
Spotify and leave us a voice message that we'll read on

(08:00):
there. I'm still hoping that German
Martin just starts calling in randomly regularly and we have a
German Martin voicemail regular segment of the show.
I think it'd be awesome to answer questions or like you
just somebody. Yeah, yeah.
But this is voicemail. It's a voicemail feature on
Spotify. Still responding to it would be
great. You guys can find us on
Instagram at Conversational Humor under Score W Punk
Ballrog. And on Facebook at

(08:21):
Conversational Humor Podcast. With Punk Punk's officially back
and on YouTube, a conversationalhumor podcast.
This feels like the first time I've ever done this.
It's been four months. Hey also if you guys want to
know how I live my life, I invested.
I don't how much was the iPad? Maybe 1000 bucks, 1200 bucks,
whatever it was, you know what Iuse?

(08:43):
For cheap it's probably 500 bought at a gas station.
You know what I use for notes? Paper.
Yeah, paper I So my kids had it,and now I let the football team
use it and I still haven't got it back.
So now I'm still using notes. That's right, Charlie said he
only could find gibberish and the words fart and freedom and a

(09:03):
I'm. Actually staring at fart slash
freedom and where was I going? And a lamination of the US
presidents with Barack Obama circles.
I want you guys to, if you're excited to have Pawn back, I
want you guys to share our episode, but don't share it on
socials. I want you guys to actually copy
the link to the episode and justfor us send it to your entire
phone book. Just for us, buy us.

(09:24):
For us, buy us, text message it to your entire phone book.
Be that annoying person. Help us to grow the podcast.
Yeah, that'd be awesome because the numbers are a bit down
lately. If you haven't already listened
yet, go back and check out our episode 57 on the purchases we
have a love hate relationship with where I mentioned puffs.
So when you're craving that crunch or the puff.

(09:46):
That's the only one I didn't have some E's and O's for, but I
have some for a couple of. I said when you buy, I said I
love buying a nice brand new bagof Cheetos cheese puffs, but
then when you're halfway throughit, your fingers are covered in
cheese and you're just sitting in your own shame.
You're like, I hate myself. All right, get into our

(10:08):
appetizer section. So Pun, we kind of missed the
boat on our couples trip to Vegas that we were talking
about. Yes, we were so pun and I were
talking about, but you know, when he when he first met Lauren
and he was like madly in love. So much so that he ditched the
podcast and all 300 listeners. Yeah, it just bounced.
What if football was just pretend it wasn't real?
Charlie's not real. Football's not real.

(10:30):
I just, I just bailed. Not real.
So The Mirage closed. Did you read that?
No. So The Mirage is now the harder
act. And The Mirage was the first
mega hotel that they ever built like the mega resort with like
the X shaped buildings. But I said we missed it right as
we were planning. AI was just waiting for Pon to
send me. Hey, look at these flight

(10:50):
prices. Apparently there's a gaming rule
in Las Vegas that they have to give away a certain amount of
money from each slot machine. I think it's called it.
It's like a RP. It's anyways there's so right?
Something right at that time people were waiting in line for
like hours to play these slot machines cause Mirage upped
their algorithm to give people money more quickly so they can

(11:12):
close their doors. I think this.
People were winning. What did I right here?
People were standing in line for12 hours.
They had 1.6 million in unclaimed jackpot prizes they
had to give away, and they were giving away $40,000 an hour to
active players. So not to a player to the floor,
but 40,000 an hour they're dumping out of their slot
machines. I was like damn.
Yeah, that's insane, I think. Thanks, Lauren.

(11:35):
I think. Thanks for the invite.
Guys, I think, I think the average.
What if I found out you went to Vegas?
And. Football's fake and Charlie's
fake. What if I had a residency on
another podcast in Vegas? That's right.
Oh, you want me to introduce youto my friend Theo?
Yeah, I think the the money theygot to give back so they don't.

(11:55):
I don't think they technically have to list it.
If they don't, they get fined bythe game and Commission.
I read an article about this butI think the average is like 93
percent or something they give back.
It's It was interesting. Yeah, it's very high.
And the pictures that I was seeing online, The Mirage Casino
was like, packed to the gills. Yeah, I was like, damn, if I had

(12:15):
only known. I got a funny story to tell you
when when we first stopped for awhile.
Pun's a great dad, by the way. He did this coaching thing.
He's got he's got the dad life going.
But you hadn't been here in a couple months.
And my son was like, my son loves Pun.
Like he he cheered when Pun walked in the door today.
He did. And he goes, he goes, dad,
when's pun coming back? And I was like, ah, buddy, he's

(12:38):
coaching and I'm not, I'm not 100% sure he's going to come
back after he's done a football season.
And my and my son frowned and was like, what about the Art Van
Mansion? I was like, what are you talking
about? I used to always, you know what
I'm talking about. I used to always mess with him
and say when we get as big as Joe Rogan, we're buying the art
van mansion down the street. And apparently he's a little bit

(13:00):
gullible. He.
Remembers that and he really, truly thought that this podcast.
Was going to get us into the artvan mansion down the street from
us. So we're driving by it the other
day and he goes, I still want tobuy that mansion because I told
him you were coming. I was like, well hey, if
everybody does copy paste and share via text, what maybe we
will. Do you know what the list price
on that is? It's.

(13:20):
Sold in the last five or ten years, I think I want to say for
like 2.3 or 2.5 or something like that.
No big deal. Doesn't it have in the front?
Isn't it better? Question is what are the annual
taxes? Yeah, that's that is the better
question because it's probably like $25,000.
Oh, it's probably like 120,000. Dollars.
What were you asking in the front?
Is there a what? Aren't the windows like 20 foot
tall in the in the front they'relike in.

(13:42):
There's a bowling alley inside. Yeah.
It's crazy. It's awesome.
Google Image it. It's from the from the Lake
Saint Clair. It's pretty awesome.
So we're driving by it and he looks at me and he goes, oh, and
you have. We'll have so many rooms, you
won't have to sleep with mom anymore.
He goes. He goes, it must suck to sleep
with a girl, doesn't it? And I was like, listen, yeah.
Buddy. Is this this is the last year
you're going? To say that in.

(14:02):
Your life because if you let your mom know, it does suck to
sleep with a woman. Oh, you know what I want.
I want to ask your opinion on this.
So I kind of got the stink face from the girls today.
You can tip that microphone down, pal.
Nope, that's not how I'll help you.
That's not. It hold on, is this not here?

(14:23):
Dude, I knew that shit so. I helped.
I helped Shawn to fix the microphone and he was like,
dude, get out of my area. He's like, I didn't know we were
allowed out of our seats. I, I, I have definitely reached
peak old man age because I just was telling the girls today I
was like, 'cause they're always looking for like snow suits,

(14:44):
'cause they, they always for. The pub crawl.
Well, like senior skip day sledding this year and they're
always looking for snow pants and they're always looking.
So I was like, listen, for Christmas, why don't I just get
you guys some, I have some Carhartt bibs for work.
I'm like, why don't I just buy you guys some some bibs for
Christmas or overalls as normal people probably call them and.

(15:05):
I didn't even know what a bib was.
Yeah, I'm picturing you guys eating lobster.
Overalls and nice pair of glovesand hat and the text messages I
received from these kids. For the amount.
That we're like, why do you wantto buy us that?
And I'm like, you always are looking for snowsuits.
You're always looking for like to go you my oldest daughters

(15:27):
going tailgating to the Lions game on Thanksgiving.
Nice. It's warm this year, but some
years it's like 20° outside. That would be perfect to put a
giant hoodie underneath. Road road trip to Lambo What?
What are? What are your thoughts on buying
your children overall? I mean, I struggle with stuff
like that because it's like, I hate to spend a boatload of

(15:47):
money on things that you're wearing once a year.
Yeah, like. Five times maybe.
Kills me. So my thought process on it is
go to upscale resale. Upscale resale.
Find a resale shop in a nice area.
All in Bayou. Like, I've worn these five
times. I'm not skiing anymore.
And here, here's a nice pair of Patagonia snow pants, you know,

(16:08):
that are like, barely used. Yeah, I just thought you can cut
that whole part out. I don't know why.
I had something funny where I was going to go with it, but I
couldn't get there. I was going to say you bought
used skis to have. Outside.
Are those yours? Punk girl John thought that was
a terrible. He was like, dude, we're going
to be sweaty messes. I was like, that's just part of
the experience. It's part of the experience,
yeah. We would go outside.

(16:29):
You don't even smoke cigarettes if you got to go for a smoke,
right? Just the cool.
So hot. Get into our ES and OS section.
I asked Pawn to write down something for each of the last
three episodes, even though I did.
I was at work and I don't know why I wrote this down for grade

(16:49):
school memories. My first thought was walking to
the school. Walking to school in snow.
For some reason I always remember being in the sketchiest
situations as a kid. There's no reason I should be
walking alone at dark. You know how easy it is to
kidnap a fat kid? You could have just thrown me
into a van and my mom wouldn't know.
Till 8:00 PM just tie a Twinkie to the bumper.
I would have 100% look to help the people look for their dog.

(17:13):
Oh for sure. What kind of dog is it?
Dalmatian. Go, go, come.
Home. Alright, let me have a.
Little spot. And then I wrote down starter
jackets. I remember the starter.
Oh yeah, everybody had a Charlotte Horn, Inter had.
One at 1st and I was like I I don't think I was ever more
jealous of kids in my class who had.
Them. Yeah, they were sweet.
They were so but. Participation trophy started

(17:33):
with our generation. Remember the 4th and 5th grade
ribbons we'd get on field day? They were Ted lost.
He came in sixth. He doesn't need a blue ribbon.
He was running with an egg on a spoon, and now the egg's broken
in the grass. Also I.
Remember Dominique Daniels if you're listening, when she broke
up with me after the dance, we danced the boys, the men

(17:53):
together. Acapella.
She dropped me like a bag of potatoes to the yeah, that makes
me think of that makes me think of grade school.
Oh man, was there ever a more? Punk in my heart, bro.
Was there ever a more punk ass R&B line than when he's talking
at the end of that song he's like listen baby.
I know. You going out?
Yeah. I know you banging something.

(18:14):
I was. Going out with another man that
night and that's OK baby, that'sOK.
Nerd talking about. I was like, man, that that was
the end of boys. Tupac came along and all of a
sudden we were like, oh, these guys are.
Yes yeah, DMX with these people all from new technology that I'm
not a fan of order. I don't, I do not like cashier

(18:36):
list transactions at Taco Bell ordering, uh, food from a
computer instead of a stoned high school kids.
It's so stupid. It's so nice so.
Stupid dude. I was a freshman at and my buddy
Tim was at Michigan State. Tim's a friend of the pod and we
went through the drive through window at Taco Bell, said Stone.

(18:57):
High School students working theTaco Bell off of.
Always. What's What the hell is the Main
Street at Michigan? I can't think of it right now.
Stadium. Stadium.
No. That's or Michigan State.
Oh, is it Michigan? Is it Michigan?
Haven't it? Whatever.
Anyways, Oh, Pennsylvania. No.
No. They're the White House pond.
No, there really is Pennsylvaniaout.
There, that would be the White House.

(19:19):
What's the address to the White House 19?
I don't isn't isn't it? Oh, not that good.
People listening are losing their mind in their car like
it's 1900. So anyhow, we're in line at the
Taco Bell at Michigan State and we paid for our tacos with Ice
House beers out of our 30. Pack of.
Beers. See to the Stone High School
kid. That's what I'm talking.
About computer screen wouldn't have accepted ice house.

(19:41):
Beers and I know cat, I know self checkouts are not new
technology, but I I like Brenda to be looking at me wondering
why at 3:00 AM I'm buying one cucumber and a new huffy.
She's like, what's this? What's this guy?
What's going on? Here one cucumber.
And a lawn chair. Don't worry about it, Brenda.

(20:01):
What about a purchase that you love and hate?
Yeah, I I didn't have any for them.
You rushed me into this. We haven't had much time since
the last one. I talked a lot about shopping,
so I like to have new clothes, but I don't like to actually go
through getting the new clothes.So that's the hate portion of
it. All right, this is go, go ahead.
Stephanie has this ability. Pun.
I don't know. Is Lauren like this or anybody

(20:22):
you've dated when you go into a Target with Stephanie?
Target. She's like a Marvel Avenger.
You're having a conversation with her, and you look over and
you're like, oh, look at that chess set.
It's shaped like the Lord of theRings.
You look back at Steph and she'sjust gone.
Yeah, she's out of there. Like, where's you and I saw this
life hack? This guy ties a red balloon to
his wife's purse. Oh, so he can see.

(20:43):
It's like 10 feet, Yeah. And he sees this balloon
floating around, floating aroundthe.
Store fan. So I'm gonna balloon.
I'm gonna balloon Steph next time we go shopping together.
We're we're both pretty on boardwith.
Like I buy the balloon from party adventure.
That's. Dance store not not wasting time
actually shopping. That's what the peasants do now.
Yeah. Like I just I type in Myers and
then I go online and I do like 4grapes, 3 bananas.

(21:06):
Do you guys use the the shop theshopping app or whatever
curbside? I just, I, I just go on to
usually Wally World and then Aldi's has you just go on to
Aldi's and then you I do we justdo pick.
Up. I mean when you're the offensive
coordinator for wind out football.
I mean, listen, I just want to let you know my time wasn't
wasted, OK? I coached up a four and four

(21:27):
ball club boys. I mean, I'm not saying I'm John
Madden, but I'm just saying. Every time Pun sent me a a video
of his son running down the sideline for a touchdown, I was
like, that's great, how's the podcast going?
Well, now it's just basketball, which is great.
So he had his first game for theactual school and then you know,
a couple times a month, I think usually like 2, he has AU

(21:49):
tournament. So it's like smooth 2.
Two days a week we do basketball.
No problem that I have. So now people are going to
expect you to be on here. I can.
Every week just go up. Another thing I had for
purchases that I love and hate Iput on here, we've talked about
it before, was Christmas gifts. I I love Christmas, it's my
favorite time of year. But like Amazon, we've talked
about it before, has like ruinedChristmas for me.

(22:10):
Amazon has ruined everything. We don't go shopping.
Remember I was watching Christmas Vacation with my son
yesterday and the scene where everybody's at the mall.
Do you remember how exciting it was to go shopping at the mall
at Christmas time? Yeah, and remember, like KB Toys
or any toy Toys-R-Us like anywhere.
Now it just feels like a transaction.
Christmas is just a transaction with your kids.

(22:30):
But it has made it makes you look a lot more thoughtful
though, because anytime Lauren mentions something, anytime
Lauren mentions something while she's talking to me, I can be
typing in like. You're writing it down next to
farts and. Freedom knife, knife cutter,
like anytime she says something I could just what I said.
What would you say? I said, are you writing it out

(22:52):
on your notepad next to farts and freedom?
Why did I write farts and freedom?
I don't. So you're you're.
Still in the thoughtful enough age stage where you're writing
the things down that she says. Yeah, man, I got a whole like,
listen, first of all, that when you.
Yeah, she does a lot of nice things for me.
She. Bannister messaged me about
that. Something about writing stuff
down. Yeah, I wasn't that I.

(23:14):
Wasn't paying attention. Last thing I got on my list from
the ES and OS from last week. The purchases we love and hate.
I recently signed up for Hulu Live TV because I'm Home Office
part of the week and I like to have Sports Center on the
background only because of football.
Season Is this guy flexing us with his TV package right now?
Who has you got that of? Course I don't have cable.

(23:34):
That's what I hate. Is he?
Lives in gross point. Of course he has television.
I love it that I have ESPN againfor all of the football
analysis. The package.
It's like 72 bucks a month. But that's the part that I hate
is now I'm I'm you just get duped into pain as much as you
used to pay for cable before youcut the cord.
Because we got Wi-Fi, we got Hulu, we got Netflix, we got
Disney, and we got whatever one I'm forgetting.

(23:58):
Listen when you go on to my TV. Amazon.
Now new new TV is you. All the apps are right on the
TV, you know? But I have different people.
You're like, who's Emilio? That's my Netflix.
Who's Brian? I have named them all.
I no, no, these are people. You know how it says hello,
David? Oh, that's my like.

(24:19):
I have at least 100 people's stuff 'cause you're stealing
whatever you need. Would you want a password for
HBO Go? I got.
You. That's right.
We do. We do.
Kindly steal HBO from my mother-in-law.
Yeah, your crush. Listen, I Yeah, How's she doing?
Get into crickets. I get into our sports section

(24:39):
the. Last time we did a podcast,
Michigan was good. Say hello.
Just quickly at Michigan, did you see Underwood from
Belleville turn is planning to turn down 10 and a half million
dollars. Well, I so I wanted to talk
about that. Do you this the first time in
our lives? Michigan is a real player in
recruiting. They actually for the first time
ever putting some money behind. Have you seen the new NIL thing

(25:01):
they got going on with passes? They're putting a huge, not a
collective, but sort of a collective.
Michigan's actually going to compete with Alabama, Georgia
and all these places that are paying.
Bryce was the first one they offered.
But they'll get. It 8 figures.
I'm not convinced on Sharon Moore being the right guy in
that I'm not. Either, but he's got he's we're
on fire on recruiting. Really.

(25:22):
Yeah, we're on fire. We flipped a cornerback from
Georgia, a safety from Notre Dame.
Let me ask you this question. How can you be a top?
You know, people sometimes say we're Walmart, Wolverines,
whatever. I'll say top ten program all
time, top 15, even if you hate us.
I think only Texas, Texas A&M have larger athletic departments
than us. How can you be a top ten program

(25:44):
overall and not have a single quarterback on the roster that
can throw the ball past five yards?
Yeah, that's. What?
How is that possible? It scares me.
It scares me because he looked at that roster and was like
either we have we have 10 talented quarterbacks that can
win, or he thought he could coach them into 10.
Either way, he was wrong. There was like a receiver that

(26:04):
was going to transfer from I think like Indiana.
And they were, they were like, oh, he's got it whittled down to
this. And Michigan was one of them.
I'm like, if you're a wide receiver, why on earth would you
play football at Michigan? I I think.
Look at Nico Collins. I know.
I knew Nico when we had him. He's one of the black receivers.
In the NFL. Knew Nico was a monster.
Nothing in college because Michigan doesn't throw the ball.

(26:25):
But I think that's painful. That's I think Cherone is either
a bust or he's working some things in because the judging,
if he's behind the scenes like he's doing with recruiting right
now, with getting Michigan on board for the first time ever to
actually spend money on recruiting, maybe, maybe he gets
rid of the offensive coordinator.
I hope he coaches up the offensive line.

(26:46):
That's been, it's been bad. Everything's been so bad.
If weren't for Mason Graham. Oh, I know we got three first
round defensive players, right? Three first round picks on
defense and a the best tight endin the country and we're like a
500 football team. If we had a core, but there's
there's a lot of talk about Miller Moss from USC coming to
Michigan. There's a lot of talk about that
kid from Washington State. I did like beating Miller Moss

(27:08):
in USC. That was good.
Yeah. I I want to beat the PAC 10
teams in Year 1, just like just to let you know.
I think this team is a one loss team with a legitimate
quarterback. Right now.
They just lose to Texas. Texas.
Yeah, that's it. Oregon, maybe 2.
Maybe Oregon. Maybe.
Maybe. We played Oregon tough.
I mean, we had a shot there. Tonight's the night, yeah.

(27:30):
The time people hear this is going to be over.
Yeah. But it is crazy how I don't
think excited is the right word.But I will not miss the Tyson
Mike Tyson Jake Paul fight. I think it was very well
marketed selling it to Netflix and having Netflix put it out
for free. Very.
No doubt about it. Very smart.
So smart. So many people can learn from
that. But man, it's such smart

(27:51):
marketing. And my son is 11 and he loves
playing Mike Tyson's Punch Out on old NES and he wants to
watch. You're so much of A better
parent than me on that because your kids are so well versed in
old school stuff. And like I, I made my son sit
down and watch, which I've shownhim Goonies of four 5-6 times.
Great. But he never pays attention
enough to to comprehend it. So I sit him down again because

(28:13):
we were scrolling past and he's like, what's that?
I'm like, it's the Goonies. So yeah, I'm excited for the for
the Mike Tyson fight. And I was actually, it's, it's
he's all over social media rightnow, like old reels of him.
So you know a lot about boxing. And I wanted to ask you how good
was Tyson? Because I feel like when he was
in these fights where he was like knocking people out in the
1st 20 seconds or one punching dudes, They, they must have been

(28:35):
scrubs, right? No.
Well, yes and no. Mike Tyson has to be the most
feared man of all time. You don't remember how?
I remember, I just don't know how good the competition was.
I mean, you can look back and say that with anything, though.
I hate doing that because it's like even with Jordan, the
arguments like, oh, he was playing against plumbers, Yeah,

(28:57):
you know, like you can do that. He was Tiger Woods.
That was the competition he had for the time.
Oh, in the 90s Tiger was playingagainst old white dudes.
It looked like Louie Anderson. Yeah, it's like we don't know
how they would stack stack up, but yeah, I just.
Didn't know if they were all highly ranked.
Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tyson was 19 years old as heavyweight champion of the
world. That's insane dude.

(29:18):
Youngest ever still. Yeah, youngest ever.
I mean he had a video game made after him.
He but what? Asked me.
What's gonna happen tonight? Jake Paul is gonna work him.
Dude, he's 60. And like, I was the eight I was.
I was explaining. Every 58 year old in the world
is an is offended by. That guy, I was trying, I was
trying to explain this to Laurenand I was like, picture Michael
Jordan when he's 5860 playing a really good high school

(29:42):
basketball player. Like that really good high
school basketball player is never going to be Jordan, but he
knows how to play basketball andhe plays really good
competition. He's going to smack the 60 year
old. Wow, it's not even a high
schooler. It's probably more like AD 1
College Jake. Paul has a wrestling background.
He's like. Jordan versus Cooper fly.
Yeah, he, he, he boxes at a pretty high level and he's like

(30:03):
28, dude. But he used to dance on YouTube.
Yeah, I know it's just and he's annoying, but he's a pain.
I just met you. He's he's a pretty, he's a
pretty okay boxer. So this is gonna be if it's not
rigged and staged, it's going toafter the first round, it's not
going to be very. It's going to be entertaining
enough that, like, the Dana Whites of the world have to be a
little bit threatened by like, the fact that this is going to

(30:25):
draw huge ratings. But that's simply because of
Mike Tyson. That's not.
But you remember the Mike Tyson Roy Jones junior fight?
It was like 2020. That was a shit show, was it?
They were both gassed by the second round.
So Tyson's going to get smoked tonight?
He's going to get smoked. So when people have, you know,
why do you know why I think he'sgoing to lose?
Vegas has Jake Paul installed itat plus 220, But I'm sorry -220

(30:49):
Tyson's plus 176. But you know.
Vegas does not lose money. In my mind, I was like, whoa.
But I also told Lauren this. I was like, listen it, he's got
a puncher chance. This is still a boxing match if
Jake slips one time and he walksinto any traps that Mike Tyson's
going to. Rock.
But he's not at all into, is he?He's not.
He's just going to play defense for five.
Rounds yeah that's why I got I placed a small little bets as

(31:12):
Michael win the first round. I think Jake Paul winning the
the Vegas knows Jake Paul winning the first round was
+2000. So they know they know Mike's
going to come out aggressive andthen he's he's gassed.
Imagine fighting a your 60 year old neighbor.
He if he hits you, you're dead. But after the 1st 10 seconds, I
mean come on Harold, what are you doing?

(31:33):
What are we doing here? I.
Don't know about this problem but we're in our 40s now bro I
know. I might be that neighbor now.
I've been clipping this in for the last three episodes but I
can confidently say it's list time baby.
Let's do it. And this weeks list is our
legitimate reasons for a revolution.

(31:53):
Guys, I'm rusty so don't judge me.
I can say from the parking lot at school today, this didn't
wasn't on my list until that day.
So I wanted to be very careful and not just make this my pet
peeves 'cause I think the pet peeves episode, when we finally
do it is going to be very popular.
Yeah, the things, you know, pisses me off.
You don't know what pisses me off.

(32:14):
But I swear to God, I wrote this.
I said not even I wouldn't even start a revolution.
I want to start a doomsday cult with all these awful parents in
the parking lot. You.
It's funny you say. Break every rule.
But with this with, with the, with what's happening in this
world right now, you may get a knock on the door for that
little comment you just made on the inner West.
This is true. What kind of doomsday cult you

(32:35):
looking for, Mr. Baylor? Haley's Comet goes by and all of
a sudden the parking lot people are following rules that are.
Sitting in the background drinking Kool-aid.
So I thought of. I don't know why I thought of
this list. Probably because of the election
season and all the. I had some absolute bangers for
our list idea of our last one. Which was what?
Ways we know we're better parents.

(32:56):
Oh, we're gonna still do that. I got some absolute bangers for
that one, guys. I had to pivot.
If my list sucks, I'm sorry. I pivot.
Pivot. Pivot pun was pun.
I texted pun like a week ago that we were pivoting.
And he forgot. I just that's where my brain.
So when I said reasons for evolution, he's like, give me an
example. I'm like like when they took the
MC rib off the menu. I actually have one for

(33:17):
McDonald's. Oh yeah, I said MC Rib or like
seasonal beers when you go into the bars.
And like I went last night. I had a beer with Chad and our
his buddy Tim that was in town. Thanks for the invite.
Yeah. No shit.
I was like, hey, let me get a Sam Adams Oktoberfest.
And they were like, we don't have that anymore.
I was like. Oh yeah, I try to get my little
girly high noons anywhere I go and it pisses me off I can't.

(33:38):
You do that for the calories, don't.
You, yeah, the boys, you should hear.
The other coaches are just like,like they just say the most
horrendous things when you ordera high noon.
Oh yeah. But it wasn't even the MC Rib.
There's this thing, there's a Taco Bell.
What's on the Taco Bell menu that was gone forever.
Gordita Crunch. Is it the Gordita Crunch?
And it was like all over the radio.
And I was like, man, I bet when that went off of the menu,

(33:58):
people. People.
Oh yeah. People were revolting in the
streets. What else?
I know people are losing their mind about this too, but
something else. Not the Mexican pizza, but the
tostad or something. There's a few different items.
Mexi melt. That's is it.
I think you know that's. The one that went off the menu,
yes. So when it went off the imagine,
that's like your favorite thing,that's your hangover.
I got 1, I got one shoot. From the app.

(34:19):
All right, so I'll start it off then.
Luckily I do not have to start arevolution because they brought
this back. But when they took the steak,
egg and cheese bagel off the menu at McDonald's, that was my
go to. That in a large cope was like, I
wake up groggy, I roll out of bed and I go get a steak, egg
and cheese bagel, a large coke and I'm.

(34:39):
Rolling. You know, it's crazy as I've
never had one. It's not real steak meat.
It is. It's like Python meat or
something. It's hamster meat.
It's like, but it's delicious. Whatever kind of little sauce
and onions they put on it's. Invasive species meat.
Listen, I don't care if it's it's your daughter's favorite
pony meat. I, I, it's fantastic.

(35:01):
It's so good. Where'd buttons go apart from
the General George Washington? How about the people?
The people I have. It wasn't so funny to me.
The people I have most respect for, apart from the General
George. George Washington.
George, besides old George, is the truck drivers who band

(35:22):
together to block people from cutting in line during the
traffic jam. Yeah, enclosures, yeah, yeah,
'cause those guys are ready for a revolution.
They're ready for. 100% they've been driving for 11 hours
through upstate Pennsylvania. They're like, oh, they're ready
to run. They're like, I dare say I'm to
get out of this those. Guys are pissing in jugs in
their truck. You think that dude won't smack
the shit out of you, Cindy? Move he's got a he's got a

(35:43):
hammer, a hammer stick in his car and just kill you with as
soon as you. Got your car?
That would never mess with the truck.
Driver yeah 100% those dudes areready to die.
How about I have a couple from when we were little?
How about I wrote when your oldest sibling, what number are
you in line? A second.
So I put there's four of us and I'm third.
And I said when your oldest sibling got to start staying up

(36:03):
later than the rest of you. Oh.
Yeah, like my oldest brother, itwas like bedtime for 8:00 for
everybody. And all of a sudden they were
like, Jim, you can stay up till 830 now.
And we were like what the fuck, dude?
I was the boy and the oldest wasmy sister and I got to stay out
later 'cause I was playing basketball or football and my

(36:23):
mom was. We're talking little though,
like when you're 3rd, 4th grade.Yeah, yeah.
'Cause it went like middle school and high school years, I
was allowed to stay out later than my sister.
Well, that's 'cause your mom doesn't love.
You. Yeah.
My, my, yeah. My mom was like, if you take
him, you take him. I wrote here.
I said I knew I was a natural born leader when I I remember
the night I gathered my other siblings up.
Oh my. God created a well crafted plan

(36:45):
to get back at this monarchy. Pawn, what did you do?
We got a fight. I don't know, I don't, I don't
remember the plan. I just remember wanting to make
a plan to fight the system. That's right.
It was just unfair. But but I cannot, I still can't
get over apart from George, the general, George Washington, it
was the the best opener ever. My next one would be.

(37:05):
Apart from Che Rivera, is that his name?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Che, Che.
Yeah, yes, this one is my most hated thing on earth and I will
die on this cross. We need to abolish Ticketmaster.
The fees that they add on to concerts.
You know Lawrence like she lovesTeddy Swim.
So I'm I'm looking. He's got a magical.

(37:28):
Voice. Yeah.
So I'm looking. I'm going.
Let me, let me take a look. So I find a concert I'm like
this actually reasonable. I can't believe this is crazy.
I go to check out it's 49% higher than the damn tickets and
it still was like it wasn't out of the the the realm of
affordability, but the price increase pissed me off so much I
just told her I couldn't find tickets.

(37:49):
It it pissed me off to my soul. It's.
Criminal how they do it. So obviously you're not a
listener to the podcast 'cause Iput this on my purchases I love
and hate. Oh did you?
I love. Yeah, no, I'm not, not a
listener. Guess I love it when people are
like, let's go to a concert. I'm like hell yeah dude.
I'm so happy that I hate the check out.
That should be illegal. It's it's nonsense.

(38:09):
How about I wrote this one down.This is I wrote a paragraph for
this one because it's just something that pisses me off.
Here we go, this is back pawns on his phone.
No, I got to put my list back up.
So I said, how about let me set the scene for you pawn, How
about there are two major freeways that you have available
to get yourself to work in the morning?
Like 94 and 75. When I was a young professional,

(38:31):
I could either go Southfield to 96 W or I could go 94 W to 275 N
to get out to Plymouth, MI from Dearborn.
Both are very bad options. And you get excited for the, you
know, April, May rolls around April in the D, also known as
construction season. And one morning I woke up and I
drove and I got to 96 just thinking about good weather,

(38:54):
thinking about maybe my first round of golf.
And all of a sudden there's orange construction barrels on
96. So I'm like, OK, it was a bad
drive, but tomorrow I'm going totake 94 to 275.
And you? Already know where this is
going. I know where this.
Is you'll never guess what I sawon 275 the next week.
Was it orange? It was orange.
Was there a cone? Yeah, you're on the right track,

(39:15):
dude. I'm sitting there on my way to
work, sipping a butterscotch latte.
I was furious, pun furious. When they block all the major
freeways in Michigan with construction season.
I cannot believe we don't revoltin Lansing.
And not only do they block all the major freeway freeways, but
they block all known like littleslide throughs like 75 and 94

(39:37):
all summer have been messed up. 4th St. was messed up outer
drive was messed up Southfield. It's like there's nowhere to
escape this. If I try to like go like you
just you sit in traffic and dealwith it.
There's no way around how do. People live in major
metropolises that have real traffic.
Like LA or New York? LA, New York, Chicago, DC.

(39:58):
No shot. My sister used to call me in a
very foul mood. Like daily sitting on an on ramp
in Washington DC, not moving an inch.
I can't for like an hour if I work should be like this whole
conversation we just had, I've been on the on ramp.
I'm like, that's unthinkable if you work 10.
Walks. That's Michael Douglas and
Falling Down. Great movie.

(40:18):
It's such a good movie. If I work 10 hours and I'm going
to coach some little kids and ittakes me an hour and a half to
get there, like you're screwing my day up.
Yeah, that's the one good thing about winter is construction for
the most part goes away. It's the funny the the older you
get, the more you appreciate winter.
Yeah, yeah. You know why I like winter?

(40:40):
I don't like the grass. You like making snow angels?
And that I don't have to cut thegrass.
I don't feel guilty to not be like outside throwing the ball
with my son because it's dark at5:00.
I know that we. Can just veg out in front of the
TV and I don't feel any dad guilt.
No, there's nothing. There's no worse feeling than
sitting on the couch and your kids like throwing a ball to
himself. He's just like, I wish I had a

(41:03):
friend. He's bouncing off the wall.
You're sitting there. You're sitting there binging
billions on that. Shut up.
All you hear is. Trying to watch Netflix?
Hits the wall on the ground. God I wish I had a brother or
sister. I had a dad I what you got?
My next one is not a thing, but it is a person and I do not know

(41:25):
who it is. We have a mind monster at work.
We have a despicable, terrible human being who goes into the
stock closet. It has been stealing the left
gloves every single. He only takes one glove.
We have no one who is an amputeeat work who's taking the left
handy glove. It's Chubs.

(41:47):
Why why why is there 4 right-handed gloves and they
come stuck together left and right right.
So like you could see how maybe one pair could come two left
This is. The real thing.
Every single new open pack of gloves, because my company's
not, they're not savages. They don't limit.
Like you can just go and take whatever you want and I have to

(42:08):
move the pile of right-handed gloves because there's a savage
who everyday takes just the left.
What are you doing? You do.
Do you know who you know who does that?
Do you know why it's happening? It's not a savage.
Who is it? It's just the next guy that's
going to fight Tyson in 10 years.
It's some little dork with a YouTube channel going.
Wouldn't it be hilarious if I took all the left-handed gloves?

(42:29):
Well, the thing the crazy. And he probably has like half a
million. He's not taking them all though,
he's only taking what he needs. Like they pile up every day.
Every single day you go look fora new pair of gloves and there
is another right-handed glove sitting there.
Maybe he's got a little bit of afetish.
And yeah. Why?
Just tell me so I I will. I'm willing to sacrifice the

(42:50):
entire state of Michigan to go to war to find out who has no.
Big Ratchet. If you live, you live.
If you die, you die. But we're getting to the.
Bottom Laura's like, hey Pun, what are you up to?
Nothing. Just forming a militia.
I'm like. Sharpening a knife, I figure
initiate. A piece of leather.
I'm tired of it. Yeah, you got to put up a
security camera for this fella. Dude this guy pisses me off
every day I walk around I'm likewho's the animal?

(43:12):
And everybody laughs. Absolute animal.
All right, how about this one? It didn't happen.
But what would you have done? Well, you didn't watch this
show. Think of your favorite show of
all time. The most popular show when Game
of Thrones was on. I, well, I, I got I'm a got into
a little bit. Could you imagine if someone had
just come on and just spoiled like episode people would like?

(43:33):
Lose. Their minds.
Remember when you used to be getyou used to get nervous about
son's anarchy and me ruining it?Andy What?
What day did Son's anarchy come on?
Tuesday or Thursday? Yes.
Well, anyways I started but the day was.
Catching up you. Were catching up the day before
the new one would come out he'd be like if you ruin this for me
he would write on my Facebook wall and go I swear to God if

(43:53):
you. Mention whatever that one thing
about 'cause you and Russo wouldalways be tagging each other on
Facebook. Like man, Can you believe it
with Jack? Can't believe Jack's killed his
mom. Spoiler.
Well, spoiler hey, that is. It's probably my favorite show
of all time. Spoilers.
Well, I'd say like the first five seasons are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but like any show after
the fifth season, just stop watching.
The first however many seasons of Walking Dead was top tier.

(44:16):
And then you just. Stop watching.
It just gets like, it's still going on, isn't it?
I think it ended and there's like 2.
Spin offs. I think I've told this story
before, but Steph and I were watching The Walking Dead and I
was like, I can't take this anymore.
And I was like, let's just turn it on to see if that stupid
idiot Carl died. That little kid Coral Carl.
Every week I was like, I hope Carl dies.
He annoyed me so bad. I was like.

(44:37):
Stupid little hat, Take the headoff.
You're the zombie apocalypse. It's not staying clean, Carl.
Your damn mom got killed and you're worried about some stupid
cowboy ass? Throat got eaten out by a
zombie. You can't even feed your damn
baby sister. So we put it on, and Daryl, the
guy with the crossbow, was petting a tiger.
And I was like, that's the one scene I see.

(44:59):
I was like, Nope, shut it back off.
But spoilers for episodes. When you're watching a show that
you love, it's not acceptable. And the reason I said Game of
Thrones is because, like, when social media first exploded,
spoilers were always online. Now there's like this unspoken
understanding kind of, that they're not on Facebook Spoiler

(45:19):
anymore. You're right, there's not many
spoilers. And back then for scores, I
remember seeing something on as a joke on Facebook that said it
was like a teacher that was like, if the class doesn't quite
you're on the chalkboard if it or she says if the class doesn't
quiet down, I'm writing the nextdeath in Game of Thrones on the
chalkboard. And like the whole class, it was
a shut up. Yeah, the whole semester.
I know what you got. Do you want to know what pisses

(45:40):
me off in a movie? Say it, say it, say it like you
mean it. You want to know what pisses me
off? I'm sitting there.
Lauren Lauren's like, pick a movie.
We'll watch a movie while we eatdinner.
And I'm like, oh, I haven't seenBad Boys 4 yet.
This is like last week or two weeks.
Ago. I have no plans in watching it.
So I'm like, let me just check it out, turn it on.

(46:00):
They changed Martin Lawrence's wife.
She's it's not Teresa anymore. She's still Teresa, but it's not
the same actress. It can ruin the whole movie for
me. I was so mad.
I was pacing and she's like, what is wrong with you?
I'm like, where's Teresa? That is clearly not his wife.
She starts to see the real pun. Why are you pacing?

(46:22):
I'm like, because it's bad, boys.
Yeah, it pissed me off. I don't.
Is how many? There's four of them.
Four of them. I don't think I saw three three
online. I like have watched but fours
were pretty good the. Scene in #2 where Reggie comes
to pick up his daughter at the door is like one of the funniest
scenes in all movies. Reggie Oh, that is, yeah.
Top ten ever man. How old is you?

(46:43):
You you at least 40. I know 30.
Bang. Like a 30 to me.
The only show or movie that eversuccessfully did that, like
without a hiccup somehow, was when they just gave it the old
Uno reverse switcheroo with AuntViv.
Ohh yeah, Fresh Prince, the and and none of us noticed that till
like a year into it. We're like wait, wait, that's

(47:04):
not even Aunt Viv. Yeah.
Doesn't Aunt Viv look more like Tina Turner Like.
Looking back, how did they do that?
It's unbelievable. That was so smooth.
It's like the only show that smoothly did something like.
That yeah, it's very weird You're.
Like all of a sudden you just, yeah, it's so funny.
They she just changed. Yeah, and it's so funny that you
said that no one realized it till way beyond.

(47:25):
And we had already accepted her.Yeah, like you're one of us now.
Yeah, it was. Just like when little Nikki came
around. How about?
What do you got? I got another one from childhood
here. How about when gym class or
anything good got cancelled because of one kid?
Oh yeah, like teachers who thinkis usually that.

(47:46):
Yeah, I did right here. Listen, Full disclosure,
sometimes it was my fault. Sometimes I farted under the
parachute in gym class in down. Teacher got mad.
When you're lifted the parachuteup.
Kids are running full mouth openthrough just an absolute ham,
egg and cheese sandwich in like 64 Doritos.

(48:12):
Like, Oh my God, who had five Little Debbie cakes?
Yeah, that was a fat pun. I can't breathe.
Just trying to set their world record to slide under and they
just slide face first right intomy ass.
Yeah, their number gets called. Mr. Mr. Morgan was like
Christopher, go to the principal's office.

(48:35):
Go to the bathroom. Oh my God, that's that's so
funny. I thought that one because my
son's in jiu jitsu in the in thesensei does this.
I love his jiu jitsu class so I don't want to bash it.
He's like a great instructor andteacher but a spoiler alert
jujitsu class is like gym class for ADHD kids.
It is. Yeah, every kids bouncing off

(48:55):
the walls, maybe they don't haveADHD, but the kids get there and
they're like, so excited they can't listen.
They're they're wearing freakingkarate uniforms, dude.
Like that's living the life and they're on a spongy mat.
Yeah, they're just like running around wanting to just kick each
other in the throat. And the teacher will be like,
oh, everybody has to do wall sits now.
And my son would ask me on the way home.
He's like, what? That's not fair.
He gets all mad. And I was like, that's how it

(49:16):
was in the 80s too, bud Dude. That's my favorite part of
basketball. Go ahead, I didn't mean to cut
you. No, that was.
That was. It my single so basketball kids
are a little more spoiled and not quite as disciplined as
football because football you kind of expect to get hammered.
Like we would just put our hand in a circular motion like go run
and they would just put their heads down and go and just go

(49:39):
running and talk. No, I don't even got to say it.
I would just like, oh, I think that oh, is that funny You
playing around on the sideline go Oh God, I hate just Pulaski
Park, but that's my favorite part.
It's like football players or just like they know this
pounding's coming up and one kidlike it gave us pleasure to make
your kid run for another kid. We.

(50:00):
Used to have to run sprints between the baseball diamonds.
Yeah, we call them back stops. OK, so they got to run 'cause
you know, there's three at Pulaski Park.
Yeah, so we'd make them run the the backstops 3 is a full lap.
But we would get into a three-point stance at the dirt
for the infield at one of them and Sprint to the dirt on the
next one, back and forth to begin and end every practice.
And it was like hell yeah. Running a football pads, by the

(50:20):
way, people who have never played football is so difficult.
Yeah, and, and like half of it'sgrass and then some turns into
concrete and then. As a little kid and it's like
I'll fitting pads the helmet. I remember Russo's helmet didn't
fit. He was like squeezing his head
into him in wrong shape. Told me last Saturday that he

(50:41):
was like, Baylog's begging me toplay football.
He's the reason I played football, because Andy was like,
you got to play it so far. Oh dude, I was.
All over him every year. And he finally played.
Yeah. And I used to just try to spear
his ass to practice every day. But what I was going to tell you
is my high school coach used to make if he wouldn't let anybody
swear if he heard a swear where we had to run one of those
sprints between the baseball diamonds per letter of the swear

(51:03):
word. Oh, so if you said something
like mother, yeah, you were running for a little while.
Someone, I'll never forget this guy Kurt on my team called one
of the guys a stupid asshole. So the coach was like, oh,
you're running a Sprint for everything in the word stupid
and asshole. Oh my and.
Kurt was like, coach, coach, I'mnot swearing.

(51:23):
Haven't you? He's the new kid at school.
We're trying to get him to come out for the team.
His name's Stu, last name Panasso.
He's an Italian kid. I was like, wow, I actually did
not work. We ran those sprints.
I said at the beginning of the MC Rib is why, why I thought of
this list. This is not why I thought.
Of this the arch deluxe was great.

(51:45):
This is the number one reason why I thought of this as a list
topic. Parents who say, so let's just
let me just set the scene for you.
It's like November the 6th and they say, all right buddy, pick
10 pieces of Halloween candy to keep and we're donating the
rest. If that would have happened when
I was. Young.
I wouldn't be fat. We wouldn't have a house.
I would have burned the house down.

(52:05):
Are you? Kidding me?
That happens all the time now. It's on like our Buy Nothing
page on Facebook. Everyone's giving away their
kids and. My parents make me sick.
I know my wife just did it the other day to our son.
She goes, I'm taking some of this to work so pick out the
ones that you want. And I was like, babe, babe, he
walked for that candy, I mean. Listen, the man wore he.

(52:26):
He, that's his blood, sweat and tears into that candy.
You don't take his candy. I would, I mean, in our own
defense, back in our day, my candy was gone in like a week.
There was never I, I can't even imagine having candy like
Thanksgiving. Yeah, I was.
I couldn't imagine having the candy the next Thursday.
Yeah, the next Thursday I would.By the next Thursday I was

(52:46):
plugging my nose and forcing good and plenty's into my mouth
so I couldn't. Taste them I Yeah, yeah, that's
actually where I. I under the black licorice
portion of my bag. I was like, I, I think I can do
this fat thing. Yeah.
Yeah, no, I can do this. I can.
I can own this. I can own this.
So there's so many parents. We would have had an absolute I
would have burned my parents house down if they would have
taken my Halloween candy and giving it away.

(53:07):
Yeah, you know the cool. I got lucky because my mom, see,
I'm a terrible parent because I enjoy all of the good candy.
My mom didn't. She liked like Hershey bars and
like some almond. Like my mom didn't like any of
the stuff. So my mom never even touched any
candy. She didn't even.
Take like having it around the. House yeah, yeah, so like my,
like my she wouldn't get into yours My, my kids Halloween

(53:28):
candy they have to hide it from yeah, yeah 'cause I'm, I'm an
animal. Yeah, my son's like, dude, you
know how good Twix are. And Reese's cups.
You're like, yeah, I ate 10 of yours.
Last night you had 80 more. Before I and now I'm back.
Yeah. How about this one?
I can't believe there was no revolution in America for this.
What prohibition? At one point in America, you

(53:49):
know what came and said you're not allowed to have alcohol?
It was so poorly executed. There were underground tunnels
and like there was so poorly executed.
Everybody was like, dude, they really think we're not drinking.
I have a great uncle that changed his name because he was
running booze over the Detroit River from Canada.
Which is how NASCAR started, right?
Isn't that the whole the whole thing behind that's the races

(54:12):
started with during prohibition.They would like soup up these
cars and then it turned to go fast in case I got an outrun.
I know that I could totally be talking out of my ass.
I also could be just spitting historical.
Facts. Right now I don't know that's
the dumb guys history podcast are going to make I.
Believe that NASCAR and racing started though, because people

(54:33):
would soup up their their their cars and eventually it was like,
oh, Andy's got Andy thinks that's interesting.
Yeah, I think that's the the origins of NASCAR.
So of all the things that peopleput online, they're like, we're
going to have we're I'm not doing, I'm like, dude, we didn't
have a revolution When we they are out of booze.
I think there's no more revolution.
Because could you imagine last night I went to Thursday Night
Football, watch Thursday Night Football.
Could you imagine just going up there be like, hey Jeremy, round

(54:56):
apple juices for the bull alwaysdon't be.
Don't be watering them down either.
Hey, you got the high sea orangeor you guys got the right?
What do you got back to can? You imagine being at a bar and
just sit there drinking Kool-aid.
Excuse me tuts. It's unthinkable, hey.
How old's that grape Kool-aid you got back?
Did you ever see the movie Legends of the Fall?
Oh yeah, Brad Pitt. The part where he's running the

(55:18):
alcohol, the booze, like when I first saw that I was young and I
and I and it's like, you know, there's like a foreshadowing of
him getting in trouble for doingthis.
Yeah. So the whole time you're
watching as a young kid and you're like Brad Pitt.
Tristan, please stop running these you.
Remember his name? Tristan Bro that's so good.
Come on dude, Brad Pitt was so hot back.
How many times? The fact that you remember his

(55:42):
name. Brad Pitt was so hot back then.
But anyhow, I'm sitting there with the foreshadowing.
In herself right now. Wait a minute, this guy's real
2024. So you're watching this movie
and you're like, you got to stopthis.
You're going to get yourself in trouble.
And then I got older and I was like, oh, the risk was worth it.
It was worth it. Imagine not having booze.

(56:02):
He was risking like getting stabbed or shot to have alcohol.
I'll tell you what we don't know.
It's worse than that. How about the guy?
Or how about commercials on the 599 service that you're paying
for because you didn't pay the 999 no ads.
I'm already paying for your damnstreaming service.
Now I got to pay for no ads too.And.
It was all because of Ted and marketing.

(56:25):
The last one I got here pawn is I'm just going to read what I
typed. I said.
How about I want to gather up a group of bandidos?
Bandidos, are you driving an El Camino?
I said I want to go to the pool.At the all inclusive resorts we
set our alarms for 6:30 AM so that all the old people who set

(56:45):
their alarms at 6:00 AM to hog all the chairs by putting a
towel on the chair. So that when we wake up, spoiler
alert, hungover and want to go to the pool and lay in a lounger
and have a cocktail and soak up some sun, there's not a single
chair available. Because all these 65 year old
people have every single chair, the entire.
Day. You know what the problem is,

(57:06):
though, is when you wake up hungover.
That extra few minutes of sleep sounds so much more appealing
than having a chair at the pool.But there's never a chair at the
pool. That's the point.
They put these towels on the chairs and it's there for 12
hours. Yeah.
And I want to have a revolution where we're just grabbing towels
and just flinging them into the pool.
I'm going on my first cruise. I forgot.
Now you're talking about vacations going.

(57:27):
We're going on our first cruise.Nice.
Getting into goodbyes. Getting into goodbyes, taking
all the kids. So we're doing Florida, cruise
Florida again after. So Florida before cruise,
Florida after. Somebody cashed in some crypto.
My my daughter's boyfriend's also going with us so I'm
excited. I've never been on a cruise but

(57:48):
it's all I. First of all, you might have to
accost a 17 year old and toss them overboard.
Right. We should start a revolution
when you pay for the tickets. I was like, man, this is
actually extremely reasonable for seven people.
This is this is pretty crazy. And then you realize, oh, the
drink package isn't in yet. All the gratuity's not in all

(58:09):
the Wi-fi's, not in all the so I'm like, I can't believe I'm
and actually, at the end of the day, it it didn't turn out to be
insanely crazy. The drink packages, That's
ridiculous. Oh, I can, I, I can.
It is for two adults for the forthe week was I think 1100.
Bucks, why wouldn't they just make it all inclusive?

(58:31):
All include just one price. Yeah, and it's all the drink
packages. It's.
All the prices they want to nickel.
So that if you get a Mormon hereand there, yeah, not allowed to
drink. And then?
And they're paying extra for nothing, Dude, It's going to be
the time of your life, the time of your.
Life. 12 year old boys running amok in Florida and then the
Bahamas and then like it's goingto be amazing.
I'm getting hamburged. Yeah, that's the dangerous

(58:53):
thing. You're like, oh, I paid for the
booze package. I have to drink myself to death
on a daily. Well, I've started, I just
started getting back in shape because I haven't been going to
the gym because of coaching and like a little you look like a
baby back. But I just started getting back
in shape. So I have until March to get
back in shape and I'm going to get super lean.
But my plan is to get as lean and as skinny as I can and then

(59:17):
take before pictures and take you see how fat I can get.
I'm the I want to see how much weight I can gain on a 10 days.
I'm going. So I'm going to drink and I'm
going to double fist ice creams and I'm just going to, I'm going
to see. Punches sat there and held up
two fake ice cream cones. Yeah.

(59:37):
I get into our goodbye section upon while you were gone, we
picked up three countries. And since you don't listen to
our podcast, since you don't listen to your podcast, that
you're no longer on Poland. No, we already have Poland.
I knew that. We picked up, actually we might
have got this one while you werehere, Brazil.
Yeah, I knew about Brazil. OK then we just got to Kuwait
and Morocco is what I read. Morocco's Awesome Kuwait.

(01:00:00):
What are we? Desert Storm.
Take it easy 1991. George HW Bush called.
He wants his war back. We're in 49 states plus DC and
we're almost passing the amount of states with countries.
We're at 47 countries, 47 countries.
Well, I mean, dude, Charlie was like killing people.
What if people, you know what? You know what I was thinking

(01:00:21):
about? What if people are sad that I'm
back and they're looking for Charlie?
Oh, what if it's Pun and Charlie?
What if I wear Charlie? And what if you get a mean
taxed? Let it go dude.
You, you were terrible. I never realized how bad you
sucked. Sean goes you put puns number on
the air, you gonna be Pixies about to get.
I didn't get one sadly. Oh dude, I hope.
I was hoping you get a ton. Yeah, I was kind of expecting

(01:00:43):
some funny because full, full transparency, Andy did say, hey,
is it cool if I put put your phone number out there?
I did Google funny revolutionarytweets for the episode and it
was just a bunch of accounts making fun of French people
being really mean to him. So yeah, I can't read those on
the air. I did type in.
Speaking of I, I went on Google and looked.
I I put reasons to revolt. Revolt.

(01:01:05):
And I was like, after I pressed enter, I was like, Oh my God,
the Department of Homeland Security for sure just got after
you. Like I why would you type in
reasons to revolt? They're like, this dude's a
lunatic and he's looking for a cult.
Yeah, you just got tagged with the J6 crew.
Yeah, now they're going to see all of my browser history.

(01:01:26):
So that's what he's into. He.
Does well with cucumbers and huffies.
Cucumbers and huffies. That's twice I made a cucumber
joke. There's somebody for sure in
their car going to this guy. Cucumbers speak.
We talked a lot about fast food today.
I saw a tweet that says whoever put the S in fast food is a
marketing genius. Fat food.

(01:01:48):
I was like, yeah, well played. Yeah, for sure.
And pawn, I got to say, it was so good to be back on the mic
with you. As you know, I love talking the
microphones. I was working my wife's gala.
They have an annual gala nonprofits make.
Big time. Nonprofits make a lot of their
money on galas. Yeah, and they had a auction and
there's this auctioneer. Did they auction you off?

(01:02:09):
And so I I've had some bids put on me by some of the older
crowd, yeah. Yeah.
Steph goes those ladies, ladies were bidding on you again this
year. I was like, what?
Was the offer I'm? Walking around, writing down
like amounts of things that people are bidding, you know, to
keep track of it. And there's these microphones
where the band was. And I'm just like gravitating
towards this microphone. I'm like.

(01:02:29):
I'm gonna do. It they need to, I'm gonna do
it. Tomorrow and welcome everybody
to and the first live funny ballrock.
Speaking of big time people, I did mention I think I I don't
know if I clipped it out. I was at the Tigers playoff game
in the suite. Yeah, right next to us is Dan
Gilbert. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you told.
Quicken Loans. Dude, this guy.
I texted Kyle in front of the pod.

(01:02:50):
Kyle, I was like, where you guysat 'cause I saw him before the
game and he was like, we're in left field.
And I was like, dude, I'm sitting next to Dan Gilbert.
You go, oh, you're with the poors.
He goes, you know where I'm at. He goes, that's coincidental.
I'm sitting next to a guy, lookslike his name is Sam Dilbert.
Well played there. On the way out of there, I go to
our friends. I was like, hey, we're about to
be transferring from the world of rich into the world of poor

(01:03:11):
again, so just get ready for it.That's how I feel driving from
your house to my. House we go out the back gate
and there's this crowd of peoplelike gathered for like baseball
signatures. Yeah, I just grab his kids
baseball sign ball. Organic popped it back over.
To him, that'll be worth some money, so.
Don't sell that on eBay bud There.
You go all. Right, we got to get out of
hell. What are we doing?
Next time you want to do the youwant to do the reasons that dads

(01:03:34):
are better parents than moms. What what are the what are the
options? Because I love that one better.
You want to do a draft special? Let's see what I got typed out.
Do. You want a draft?
Let's do ways we know dads are better parents.
All right ways we know dads are better parents the moms.
All right, we are asking you guys again to text this episode
or any episode actually. One of my favorite episodes was

(01:03:55):
the first Ladies draft special text.
That one to people that was one of the best lists of all time.
Also, what's the message board thing where they can leave a
voicemail? Oh, on Spotify you can call in.
There should be a number listed,so listen.
If you don't, you call in and I'm We'll read off and we'll
answer them. If you need advice from you,
call. In I'll play you on the air.
You need advice from Doctor Pun.Doctor Pun.

(01:04:15):
We'll do this. I leave us a five star, click
subscribe. That's all I got.
Pun what you got? That's it for me though, Push.

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Ep.58 - Our Reasons for a Revolution!!

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep.58 - Our Reasons for a Revolution!!