Ep.65 - Our Michigan Winter, Pet Peeves... - Conversational Humor - An Improv Comedy Hour

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I freaking love our podcast. I'm so hungry right now I.
Assumed his name was Darth Virgin.
Come on, you're talking dirty tome right now.
She's like, what do you got in your mouth?
And I got a fruit by the foot, hanging halfway down to my lap.
I like to eat my calories, not drink them.

(00:24):
All right, Hello, hello and welcome back to CONVERSATION.
You are one. Pathetic.
Loser I even I even write the intro here just in case I forget
it. All right, Hello, hello and
welcome back to episode 65 of Conversation and Humor with Pun
and Ballrog. This is pun physically across

(00:45):
from me. Dude, it pisses me off how long
it takes for you to get to allowme to talk.
Your intros are stupid. I love the.
Just say here's pun. As you know, I'm a microphone.
A bit of a microphone hog. Not really.
You should see me. You should see.
Me at a karaoke bar I. Feel like I'm the hog.
As I'm diving across somebody tosing their Neil Diamond song,

(01:06):
let's do a duo. He's on a table with no shoes on
usually. Usually today is Friday the
February the 21st of 2025, and we're going to be talking about
our Michigan winter pet peeves. Well, what if I wanted to talk
about my Illinois? Hey, look, pet peeves, you may
talk about your Illinois. I knew you were gonna.

(01:29):
Pet peeves, let me say. Let me just start off by saying
I'm annoyed that there are 0. There's no such thing as 0
calorie hot chocolate because I would have one every day.
There isn't. There probably is.
Yeah, there probably is. But it's got that bad.
It's got that bad stuff for you.I don't know.
I like Diet Coke. I bet there's probably diet hot
chocolates. Probably.
Aspartame Aspirin. Don't be drinking aspartame.
Listen here, Linda. What I can say is that I can

(01:52):
assure you one thing about winter I want to 100% slapped
out of everyone who acts astonished that we live in a
place that has winter. Yeah, that's all of them.
Yeah, my pet peeves. Smarmy people.
Oh my God, do you guys know thatwinter exists?
We're aware. I kind of struggled a little bit
with this because I actually like winter.

(02:14):
Oh my God I hate him so much. I I was in Mancelona yesterday,
which is not far from Petoskey. There was so much snow on the
ground. I was sending Lauren a picture.
She's in Florida right now by the way.
I'm sending her pictures as I'm working in the snow.
I'm like, I'm getting paid to make snow angels bro.
What are you talking about? Listen, there's some things that
are cool about winter, but overall these are our pet peeves

(02:37):
about winter. Yes, you can find this podcast
everywhere podcast can be found.Make sure to click that
notification bell and leave us afive star rating.
By the way, I have always talkedupon about how if we click
enough likes, get enough subscribes, get enough five
stars, we'll eventually grow this thing into our fame.
So you can buy your what do you want to buy a Rolls Royce or
what was it? Absolutely do not want to buy a

(02:58):
Rolls. Royce, sorry, that's Back to the
Future. That's back to the I would like
to buy a farm in Montana. Farm in Montana so we want to
get famous so punking at his farm in Montana and I've always
visualized this in my head and thought it's going to happen
because I'm visualizing it Oh yeah the power of positive
thinking but I also pictured youand me and.

(03:20):
Lauren and stuff. I pictured the four of us going
out on a double date to big boysup at the.
Corner. Oh yeah, salad bar.
Vernier and Mac, we'll have thatclose now.
Pond. There's a dump drawing.
Yeah, so. Oh.
Man, alright, I got. Some dark thoughts about our
success on the podcast. What is the other name for big
boys? Is there 1?

(03:40):
Yeah, there's another name. Somebody out there is losing
their mind in their car. I know it's big boys and it's
like a person's Denny's. No, I'm Googling it.
I'm Terry. Waffle House.
Oh, I do want to give a quick shout out to our new friend of
the pod, Matt. I mentioned that he's listening
now he's got an Instagram page called at Falcon Drum.

(04:04):
Give him a like, give him a follow on Instagram.
He has a really cool page. He's got like 29,000 followers
and he gave us a shout out on his story.
Nice. And he gives like little intro
drum lessons and I thought that's a pretty cool thing.
So give Matt a shout out, give him a follow on on his page.
That would be appreciated. You can find us on.

(04:24):
I'm Googling other names for bigboys.
What did it come up with? Well, it thinks I meant like big
boy, like a big boy. It's telling me fat cat,
heavyweight, nice high, muckety.Muck.
Muck, a muck. What the hell?
Poobah, the Round Mound of Rebound like Oliver Miller the
Big O speaking to Instagram. You can find us at

(04:47):
Conversational Humor All One Word and on Facebook at.
Conversational humor podcast. And if you haven't already
listened, go back and check out our episode 64 on the second
best feelings in the world. And can I just ask if anybody
out there or pun have you Q tipped your ears since then?
And have you thought of thought of the second best feelings in
the world? I.
I Q tipped my ears this morning.And did your toes curl?

(05:08):
I listen that is A1 of life simple pleasures where you just
toss AQ tip in there even if youdon't, you know, actually it can
also be one of the worst 'cause it it that cotton in there, that
feeling of like. Where you're like, oh, is some
still in there? No, no, I I unfortunately clean
my ears, which was probably not good.

(05:29):
So much that I don't often get the stuff out of there 'cause
I'm, I'm always in there, just going to jump in the room.
Dude, I dated a Mexican girl once when I was in college and
she said that when they were sick her grandma would put her
on her side and light candles above their ears.
Elias. Brothers, that's big boys.
She said when they were sick, her grandma would put them on

(05:49):
the side, set a candle on top oftheir ear and light it and pull
stuff out of their head. And I was like, that sounds very
dangerous. She's like, no, it's an old, A
lot of Mexican people use this. And I was like, yeah, maybe,
maybe the Incas. What are we?
Talking about here. In our appetizer section, I
talked about the Grosse Pointe by Nothing page, and I almost

(06:13):
accepted somebody's offer of a wheelchair ahead of our pub
crawl. Actually, you should have.
I listen. I absolutely needed it.
I've never seen Lauren walk straight up like a piece of
plywood. She was so stiff and I seen her
walk like it was out of a movie where she was standing up but
still falling over. Dude.
It was bad. It was listen, the weather was

(06:35):
treacherous for a pub. First of all, the Grosse Pointe
by Nothing also had cross country skis on there the day
after. I was like, oh man.
That'd. Been a great costume prop.
Speaking of great costume, best costume award goes to.
Oh, I mean cousin Patrick for sure.
Cousin of the pod, I said on Facebook.
When you buy a fur coat, fur hat, tiger necklace and gold

(06:55):
rings, it's an automatic victory.
There was a point where at the last pub that I remember, I'm
pretty sure. Where were we at Tin Roof?
That's when you guys laughed andthen we went and got food.
There was a point where Lauren was like visibly hammered and
standing next to me, I'm pretty sure, just trying to like, save

(07:16):
herself. Just hold it together.
Hold it together. And Patrick hadn't spoken in
2018. Character all night.
He was a Russian pimp. All night.
He was sitting there with glasses on, staring at everyone,
not talking, Lawrence standing, standing next to me, not saying
anything. And Patrick looked over me, at
me and went control your woman. I haven't laughed that hard.

(07:42):
And it was so random, so unexpected, and by far the
funniest like improv thing I've heard in a long time.
Staying in character was priceless.
He like refused to speak the last two hours.
If you wonder what he looks like, you can find pictures of
him on our Instagram page. He is so damn funny.
Between so it was actually like a very adult pub crawl things I

(08:03):
I joked with Bannister via Texasweek.
I was like, listen, not having you there was quite the catch 22
because we wanted you there. But we also.
Survived, but we survived. Yeah.
Even though Lawrence family is ablast and they did buy several
rounds of shots. So thank you, Jackie.
Well, that was Yep. And then Lauren's friend Ashley
and her husband Tom came. I don't know who I was talking

(08:24):
to. And I'm pretty sure he brought
out the corporate credit card 'cause he went whatever you boys
want and they just kept. Coming so we only hit like 4
bars and then you guys took off or yeah 4 bars I.
Was home by 9:30. Yeah, we we got home by 10:30
because we went and got food. I I mean, and I was, we were

(08:44):
hammered. So we left.
So in between the the second to last and the last bar Pun was
at, you guys were staying behind, I think 'cause you got
food or something. And we're walking to go to the
Elwood, which turned out to be closed.
We ended up at Tin Roof. Long story short, ball around
started to hit the slippery slope of the of the of the
terrain and I just went down like a ton of bricks, dude.

(09:05):
Alan had to help me back to my feet, and it wasn't necessarily
because I was intoxicated. It was probably because I was
old and it was, it was quite treacherous out there.
Pawn. Alan doesn't get the love he
deserves on this podcast. That guy.
That's true. He never gets the love he
deserves. We love you.
Alan, we love you. Alan, how about the shot guy
that was at the Baltimore? Just random stranger that he

(09:25):
sprayed. Cologne on me.
I go. Dude.
No, I had. I already have Kelowna, what are
you doing? So funny, dude.
At one point the funniest thing ever happened.
He's like, hey, I got you guys shots and I think it was stuff
that goes she like pulls me inside.
She's like, oh hey, should we trust this guy's shots as random
strangers buying us all shots? His friends were behind.

(09:46):
Us and you shoved us out of the way.
Pun. You're like, give me two.
I go, hey, they can have date rape job.
You're like more more. Yeah, I, I The only reason I was
slightly sketched out was because he was sitting alone at
the bar and his friends were allbehind.
Strange. Like he got isolated from the
group. But then he came into our group
and was buying shots. Well, welcome in, buddy.

(10:07):
They picked him up as a free agent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about the last thing I got
to say on the whole pub crawl isI don't know who has the
championship belt Any. Longer we do, We do I I got up
in the morning and I looked in the back seat of Lauren's car
and there in lies the championship.
Belt. I knew that I brought it and I

(10:29):
lost it to the Russian pimp Patrick and I didn't know where
it went from there. Yeah, somehow Lauren had it on
as she was walking back that I just actually, that visual just
came back whilst you were walking back to the parking
deck, which was treacherous to find hammered.
I had to pull out my Google Maps.
I was a block and a half away. Good.

(10:49):
Not. Hey babe, are we walking north
right now or? East I was I.
Actually do get confused downtown because you think it's
like north-south east West because of the river, but it
like bends through there or something and.
We were really nerdy. Whoa, Christopher Columbus back
on track, huh? I don't know if you know this,
but it's not 1492 right now. It was a good time, yeah, and it

(11:10):
would have been. The crazy thing is the turn out
would have been way better but Ihad to bail and then rejoin.
Fun, Bales rejoins. We still got like 21 people.
Yeah, it's still fun on the spot.
Which is like actually perfect. Pretty awesome it was.
Amazing. I got get into our did I already
say get into our appetizer? Section.
Oh yeah, you did. Did I can't, I can't remember.
I'm so excited to record. Say it again, I'm getting

(11:31):
mozzarella stick getting. We needed mozzarella sticks.
At one point I had a burger or chicken sandwich that saved my
life. At the end of the pie, I.
Ordered in the only reason. Shout out Brass Rail Pizza Bar.
I love that bar. So yeah, as a fun pub crawl.
I think the next one we decided was either going to be, I guess
it might end up being 9 innings,but yeah, Pun mentioned his
holiday pub crawl and I thought or my sister of the pod sent me

(11:52):
something on Facebook that was dress up as your spouse or
significant other and that would.
Be that would be funny. I I just want to see what
Patrick would wear at this point.
I would probably wear yoga pantsand a tank top.
There'd be a lot of inappropriate yoga pants.
Oh, yeah, my, my would be out. OK, let me check.
Listen, I will say this. They would be out.

(12:12):
Yeah, it would be. It would be appropriate.
Is that your friend? I'm cutting all this out because
puns bragging about his. All potatoes, no meat, baby.
All potatoes, no meat, So. Anyhow, yeah, I texted Pun the
next day. I was like, pub crawls are just
so fun. Yeah.
And the way we do them now from 4:00 to 9:30, like it's such a.

(12:33):
Blast it's. Perfect.
I felt fine the next day. Oh yeah, it's, it was fantastic.
If we do it during the day in themed, themed is fun.
Themed is the only way to go. It's it's the only way.
I was loving it. The funny thing is I love
dressing up. I love going to every bar and
being like, look who's. Here I listen, Alan, I mean
Patrick. I looked over several times that
the war was the first bar we were at.

(12:54):
The three legged goat and three legged goat.
I love that bar. But he had everybody in there at
least one time looked over and staring at yeah, just everyone
was like happy that he was like obnoxiously there.
Hell yeah. People love that.
Also for appetizers, I got something really funny happened
to me. So friend of the pod, Kyle,
shout out. Kyle.
What up, Kyle? He plays basketball with me at

(13:15):
my Saturday morning Sacred Hearthoops.
So you remember at Sacred Heart we do red shirts and non red,
which is way smarter than whitesversus dark colors because the
red pops out like easy to see when you're running.
So he doesn't have a red shirt. So the running joke with the
guys is that he borrows my SH Medium shirt.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because it's a little tight on him.
It's a little tight on me. Full disclosure.

(13:35):
Yeah. So he borrowed it.
One day, his wife washes it, Carla, they give it back.
He gives it back to me at basketball.
I get home the next week, I go to put it on and pawn this thing
my belly. It's shrunk I.
Can't even get it over my belly.Dude.
It was the most humbling. I looked at Stephanie and I was
like, I'm not eating anymore. Oh, don't grocery shop.

(13:55):
I'm going to go on a water. Diet.
That's what I'm doing currently.I seen the pictures from the pub
curl and I was like you. He's The funny thing is I
thought you looked OK and I looked like a fat.
No, I think. Everybody's critical of.
Themselves. Well, during the winter I always
plump up a bit. Oh, everybody does.
But I mean, this is I'm not eating for 30 days.
Not being able to fit in your own shirt?

(14:15):
That's called a reality check. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, she also washed it. You know, Lauren the.
Following week at basketball, Kyle comes again and he goes,
oh, here we gave you the wrong shirt.
It was his son's shirt that I tried.
So if you need motivation to lose weight, just borrow.
Lend a shirt to Kyle and he'll give you back a youth medium.
Does Steph ever shrink your shirts?

(14:36):
Yeah, it's one of our married people tiffs that we have.
Yes, so now. I bought that 'cause it fit me.
Yes, head I I I washed that 86 times and never shrunk it once.
And this feels like a very dangerous.
Conversation. Yeah, we all.
We're getting close. I'm getting very nervous.
But now the counter to that is where we if you mention that, it

(14:56):
pisses them off. So now Lauren Hayne dries
everything, even things that I want dried.
So I go in the basement and there's just a row of my hanging
stuff. Yeah.
Last thing I got talking about big people and calorie counting.
Big people is. That talk about weight loss and
calorie counting is calorie. Count.
That's a huge bitch. That's a huge bitch.

(15:18):
Calorie counting sucks. Yeah, and it's hard to do.
So I had this revelation. Not real hard if you get the
app. You want to know what pisses me
off? What you got?
The fact that you look on a package and these serving, who
decides the serving size? 3 combos is 186 calories.
Seven Cheese Doritos. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, who's
eating 7 cheese Doritos? So what I'm proposing is there

(15:41):
should be a calorie count for serving size and then and then a
dad bot serving. Size.
Yeah, and a normal person size. Right when you eat thirty of
those Doritos, this is what it. Is well, you know what I often
do is I just go, well how much to consume the whole package?
I have noticed that every time we talk about like an Oreo
you're like oh whole pack is 900.

(16:02):
Oh yeah, yeah, I go. How much?
12 servings. Well, that's yeah, 1300
calories. I can do that.
Oreo should the Oreo should justgive you how many a row is.
Well, you know what though? Because.
If you're not eating that whole row.
I look at people like Lauren or probably Steph or any normal
person and I watch the way they eat and I go, oh, there are
people out there that have control.

(16:23):
It's weird. They know how to do it like.
Isn't it crazy to watch? She, Lauren doesn't even eat
fries from from the restaurant to home.
She doesn't open the bag once. Not a single car, not a single
time. She waits until we're home.
Then she takes her coat off, hershoes off.
She washes her hands, She gets anapkin.

(16:46):
She sits and I'm like, lady, I'mhalf done with my double
whopper. Are you going to eat or no?
She's like, Chris, where are you?
She gets in the front porch. You're eating the burger off
your knee. The the like, she'll talk,
she'll respond to a text and I'mlike, it's been 12 minutes since
we ordered this food, what are we doing?
What's happening right now? That's just so funny, dude.

(17:07):
Yeah, Steph has such control over her portion size.
It's crazy. It's insane because I I watch
her eat the same thing every night, this little bag of rice,
and I'm like, yeah, you want something to go along with?
That yeah, you want to like we could go get a Schwarm, do you?
Want a meal to go with your starter?
It's crazy, man, but then again,they're both fit and here we
are. And here we are.

(17:32):
Getting into our ES and OS section, our errors and
omissions. I got a few of them here.
Let's see which ones I think arefunny.
Second best from my episode 64. Second best feelings in the
world. How about when you have like
that hysterical laugh where you're like losing it and you
can't stop? Laughing, you can't catch your
breath. Especially when something bad
happens to one of your close friends, but they're OK.

(17:52):
Yes, I I like. When Russo almost got bit by my
cousin's dog when he didn't suffocating.
Yeah, or somebody takes a tumblefrom high up, but they're
totally fine, Totally fine. You're like, oh, you should have
died right there, dude, you idiot.
Yeah. So good.
Second best thing in the world. A Lion Super Bowl victory that
might be better than the first. Best feeling in the world.

(18:12):
Yeah, always, Pun always, pointsout the Michigan natty.
That's there's no better feelingthan that.
How about? Ohh.
Speaking of that, Randall sent me a message.
Randall. Randall said he got a message
from a friend of ours. Matt Who?
Cole, Matt Lewis. Matt Lewis from Ohio.
Nice. And he said quit talking about

(18:33):
his Ohio State Buckeye. Hang on, I'm pulling it up, he
he said. You know what's sad?
Listening to the last couple episodes of Puns podcast, y'all
Michiganders really, really are holding on to that championship
win last year and seem to be holding on, holding on so much
to beating OSU for four straightyears.
I mean, I guess I'm happy y'all Finally gave up on that.

(18:54):
We killed you all through the 90s thing that y'all held your
hats on forever. So in a way.
Progress, right, Progress. Hey, like you said last week,
pawn it just feeds the. Badges.
Oh yeah, Speaking of errors and omissions with the Ohio State
Buckeyes, for Mr. Matt Lewis, this is just an error, not an
omission. You guys hired Matt Patricia as

(19:15):
your defensive coordinator. How does that feel?
Disgusting that seeing my least favorite coach of all time in
Ohio State gear makes me like. What are you guys going to do,
Chip Kelly? 'S violently I'll.
Chip Kelly's gone. Matt Patricia's your defensive
coordinator. You guys are up.
How about this for Arizona emissions?
I got this one I might clip out but you might agree with.

(19:36):
How about a good shave when you're way past due?
Ohhh yeah yeah, yeah. You just, you clean your neck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's such a good one.
Yeah. How about a?
Good back shave. In a bubble bath.
How about this one? I got this on Valentine's Day.
Pun what you got? This is still PG13.
OK. Unfortunately, our little Rosie

(19:57):
girly, our dog had to have a surgery to see if she had the
tumors. And so Steph slept on the couch
with Rosie or down. I don't know where they slept,
didn't matter to me, but she slept with the dog.
And on Valentine's Day night, I got to sleep diagonally across
my own bed and I was like, oh. I'm exploring what size.
What size bed you got? Queen.
OK, I mean, we need a king, but we bought the set for a queen.

(20:18):
Yeah, we don't wanna replace everything, but man, when you
got the bed to yourself. It feels great.
You know what though? I've been home alone since
Wednesday and I've slept on the couch both nights.
I've fallen asleep watching she.She called.
Admit it, you wake up in the morning, you're like, I didn't
sleep in our bed without you. Sweetie, I missed you so much.
I love you more. Listen, I realized that I'm.

(20:39):
Boop. You got your nose.
I realized that I'm an old ass man because.
Oh my God, go ahead. I had I had the entire house to
myself and I fell asleep watching a dinosaur documentary.
I'm watching planet Earth. This guy's a million years old.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Last thing I got on here for ease and Nos.
Oh, I did say an air and omission from episode 35.
The thing's a straight piss off.Old white dudes.

(21:02):
Kendrick Lamar diss tracks at half.
Time. Oh boy, Listen, I was with some
football coaches and and the wives watching, watching the
Super Bowl and let me tell you, one out of three was ready to
get a rifle. They were not happy.
I didn't. Care for me, it wasn't like.
Like Kendrick Lamar. That that was my problem is I
don't know any of his songs, yes.

(21:22):
Well, he wore bell bottom jeans.I was like, I hope those aren't
coming back. In the day I have kids, you are.
Not, I hope not, because I'm notswitching.
Nope. I'm at that age where I'm just
going for. It I still wear ankle socks.
Yeah, OK. Ankle socks, my last air and
omission this is. This is an add on from the
Russian pimp cousin of the pod himself, Patrick.

(21:43):
Dimitri. You remember last week when I I
read about the minor Hockey League that Wayne Gretzky played
in and all the goals that he scored.
Yep, 570 some odds I. Repeated that stat the next four
days like you told me that. Because it's insane.
It's insanity. So Patrick texted me and my
buddy Todd on our thread. I don't know what's happened.
He goes hey your Gretzky sticks.That doesn't impress me and I'll

(22:05):
have you know that Gordon Bombayscored 100 and 198 goals in the
7270. Three Pee Wee season and.
According to Google, that age level plays around 17 games
minimum. That means Bombay's most
efficient season. He was scoring at a clip of 11
1/2 goals a game. Beat that, Gretzky.
If you don't know who Gordon Bombay is, that joke just

(22:26):
wasn't. If you don't know who Gordon
Bombay is, you had a sad childhood because you didn't
watch The Mighty Ducks into our sports section.
I got some things on the NFLI mean we were going to talk Super
Bowl last week, but we didn't record.
We had the pub crawl. Just one thing I did.
Bet the Eagles as you recall. What is this?

(22:48):
Oh my God, Mama Baylaw. Fun does have a frozen container
of Christmas cookies in front ofthem that have been thawing for
the last 20 minutes or so. Oh my God.
Try that peanut butter looking one.
It looks like it looks like a nono, I can't eat.
These it's at the bottom. I can't eat this.
Well, that's the apricot. That's one of my favorites.
Do you like that one? Some people are hit and miss

(23:12):
with the apricot. I'm going to save it.
Try that peanut butter one at the bottom.
Ain't got the calories tonight my man.
Just try that. No, I see the one pictures at
the pump truck. Try the one pun.
Damn it, I'm in. Go all the way.
Down to that peanut butter rice Krispy looking thing.
It's got chocolate on top. Nope.
Nope. Nope, That's the guy.
That's the guy. Are you kidding me?

(23:34):
I bet you don't put that one back down for puns.
Known love of peanut butter. Listen, if I wait till tomorrow,
I'll have the calories to eat this.
Whole so you got to like rank those and you're off time and
Mama Balox Christmas cookies. Nope, I ain't eating it.
Nope, I'm waiting. That one might need to thaw a
little bit more. Mama Baylog.
She's good. How?
You doing me like? She's good.
So the only thing I really wanted to say about the Super

(23:56):
Bowl is I bet the Eagles, I toldyou ahead of time, immediately,
$110. And what I should have said on
our last recording is I, it's easy for me to say now because
it happened, but I thought the Eagles were gonna easily cover
and win that game. Yeah.
And the reason I thought that was simply because of the Chiefs
played the Bills the week before, 2 weeks before.

(24:17):
And the Bills are the Eagles, but with way worse players.
Yes, they have Josh Allen. Who's arguably better than Jalen
Hurts, But they don't have Saquon, they don't have A.J.
Brown, they don't have Devante Smith, they don't have the
offensive line, the defensive line, the secondary.
The Eagles roster was loaded andeverybody was surprised by that,
that outcome. But I I saw a comment.
You know, what's cool about the Saquon thing is that you it's,

(24:38):
it's you get to prove, you know,when you see good players on bad
teams and you're like, I wonder what he would look like on a
good team. Yeah, well, that's what that's
what it would look like a great player from like Barry Sanders
if you put him with Emma Smith'sline.
You know, that's always a thing.Saquon Barkley was the best
player in the NFL last year. He's insanity.
Guess what he's going to be again next year because their
offensive line is awesome. Yeah, it's crazy.

(25:00):
I saw something really funny that was like, dude, a white boy
return to interception in the Super Bowl and a white guy just
won the dunk contest. What is happening?
But I do want to get into this. I said a couple weeks ago that I
had some NFL rule changes to be proposed and I just want to run
these by you to think, see what you think.
You think all cheerleaders should be dressed like hooter
girls? Yes.
Correct. Aren't they are already?
Are. Oh, yeah, they are.

(25:20):
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, some of these are my
original thoughts and some are not.
This one's obvious. I think that they need to have
bigger rosters because of the attrition in football is so
high. Like the Lions this year.
Maybe I'm saying because I'm a Lions fan, but like, we stood no
chance because we were, we were pulling people off this.
But we were only, I've seen we were only like the third most

(25:42):
injured team in the NFL. That cannot be true.
It's true. Maybe it's just because on the
defensive side it was, so it was.
And ours were all impact players, they were all on D.
For those who don't know, they, I mean, like my sisters might
not know, you start 11 players on defense.
We had 18 on IR. Yeah.
So we had almost two defenses onIR.
Yeah, that's insane. It it it to get to be

(26:03):
concentrated. For a group like, that's pretty
rare. I just, I think if you added 10
roster spots, just call it 10 for this discussion and you're
paying them all league minimum. It's this billionaires that are
paying a little bit of extra money and all it does is not
like they're the most talented players in the league.
It just let's them know your scheme so they can jump in
easier. You know what I mean?
The second one I got on here is this is not my original 1.

(26:24):
I think this I was watching likea late night show with Letterman
a long time ago. And I think it was the Coen
brothers were on there. The movie guys.
They, you know, there's that half the distance to the goal
rule. So like, let's just say you're
on offense and you're on the 2 yard line and your offensive
line is going to fire off the ball because you you want to get
a head start and you're like, hey, if we're if we jump early,
it's just a 1 yard penalty because it's half the distance

(26:46):
to the goal. They were like it should just
add on to the other end of the first.
Down well that doesn't work that.
Instead of first and 10, it's first and 15.
Well it doesn't go 1st and goal are half the distance to the
goal. Doesn't work backwards.
Yeah, it does. I thought it was only forward.
No, it's both. Is it real?
Sure. No.
If you get a holding it's not half the distance to the goal.
What is it? It's the the original 10 yard

(27:08):
penalty. But you can't go back 10 yards.
Yeah, if you're on offense. On your own 5.
Oh, on your own. OK, OK, I'm.
Sorry about that. OK, so you're on your own.
Five, you were on there. No, so to reset the to reset
that you're on your own 2 yard line, right, right, right,
right. And instead of going back one
yard, those guys were like, why don't you add five yards on to
how far you have to go, right? And I was like, that's kind of

(27:30):
brilliant. Actually, third one I got here
is I also not my original thought.
This has been all over Facebook for a couple years.
The two worst teams in the league, or even call it the four
worst teams in the league, have a playoff for the number one
pick. Toilet bowl.
Oh, OK. For the NFL draft and none of
this NBA draft lottery crap or just tanking your season for
number one. Could you imagine if the Titans

(27:51):
and the Browns or whoever it is played for that first pick?
We'd watch. We'd actually watch a bad
football game. But what if you got, say, A5 and
12 team in an O 117 team? Yeah.
That doesn't happen. I don't even know if that's
statistically possible. Yeah.
But that is a good point, which is probably why it doesn't
exist. This one's like an old man one
for me, going over the goal line.

(28:12):
Like, I don't like the fact that, like, you can go into the
end zone and have the balls not,like, your feet run through the
corner of the end zone and the ball is not even over.
Yeah. Or like, the tip touches the
white, but it's not into the endzone.
Like I just feel like you shouldbe in the end.
Zone just crossing the plane, yeah.
This one is I think needs to change like yesteryear because
if nothing else for injury the whole like you have to have two

(28:33):
feet down is the stupidest rule ever made.
Yeah, and it's only in the NFL. College is just one.
Yeah, and. Guess what, if you only have to
have one foot down, they just have more yards and more points
and it's more fun to watch. So it's almost like the two feet
down is the fun police. Yeah.
But I mean, it does add an element of skill that that's
what you know what that's an underrated.
I'm glad you brought that up. That's probably the most

(28:54):
underrated skill is ball control, field awareness and
getting both feet down so hard while you're moving at 4-5
speed. Yeah.
In in slow motion they make it look real easy.
It's crazy and and like the tippy toe it you're like adding
some ballerina in there ballet in there, but the.
Problem is, you also open yourself up for injury.

(29:14):
Yeah, yeah, 'cause you're getting hit when you're not.
Like you're concentrating on your feet instead of taking a
hit. If he dies.
What's the Malik Malik neighborsfor the Giants this year.
Caught a pass on the sideline, had to tippy toe it and smacked
his face off the ground. Got a concussion.
Like that's just unnecessary. 1 foot down is just plenty to me.
To me, I only got two more Oh, Igot three more.

(29:35):
These these two are kind of the same thing.
There's too many games and they're adding more games.
I. Know, yeah.
Listen, the NFL is a great I don't know what what they don't
understand about it. The NFL is a great product
because the amount of games are limited.
The last two weeks of the seasonthis year were almost pointless
because all the all the seating was locked up and they're going
to add an 18th game and then what they need to do is go back

(29:57):
to 16 and add a second bye week because these guys need more
rest. Well, I guess I don't know.
I don't know if I hate it because I've gotten to a point
in my life where I don't, unlessit's the playoffs, I don't
dedicate time to any other team of mine.
It's true. I don't like, I'm not like, oh,
the Giants play the Cardinals. The.
Only reason I am interested is because of fantasy football or

(30:20):
if you're gambling. Yeah but you're right.
When the Lions are on a bi, I'm like, yeah.
This sucks. I don't really care about it.
Yeah. My cousin Jason was like, dude,
because we were also talking about how the Lions had like a
week 5 by and then someone else has like a week 12 or 13 by.
They can be quite different, which is it's an advantage one
way or the other. He was like the whole NFL should
just be off at the halfway point, they should just take a

(30:40):
week off. But the NFL will never give up
that revenue. Ever.
Last one I got on here, which drives me bananas.
Patrick Mahomes is so guilty. But by the way, that hit that he
took when the guy smoked him in the face in the Super Bowl, I
was like, that's what the whole world wanted to do to you every
time you got calls this year. I don't.
I don't hate Patrick Mahomes. I don't either.

(31:01):
I've liked him for a long time. I didn't like the fact that the
refs were giving them all the calls this year.
It was pretty. There were points where it was,
you know, I try to be objective and go maybe you know, you guys
are it. There were points.
It was bad, it was bad, it was bad.
I also don't hate Taylor Swift. I think it's weird that people
are such sheep online. Yeah, they're like, we hate
Taylor Swift. I'm like, why?
Because people on Facebook talked.

(31:22):
About that's exactly. Who cares about Taylor Swift but
the when the quarterbacks are running you're not allowed to
hit the quarterback nowadays. Nope.
And Mahomes does this thing where he sneaks in extra yards
because he knows they're not allowed to touch him.
The NFL has to do something to correct that.
It like it makes me so furious when I see it happening.
Well, they did it in college. Then when the guy tried to like

(31:43):
fake a slide. Yep, fake slide and then.
So they did do it. They did correct it in college.
But when he's tippy toeing in the and he sees the defender
pull up, he's skilled enough to tippy toe more and then hold the
ball out and go out of bounds. The refs need to start calling
you down when you give yourself up, even if you're still
standing. Or just whisper in the
defender's ear and go. Next time he does that rock, I

(32:03):
won't throw the flag. And that's all I got.
You got anything you think of for rule changes?
Nope, no rule changes all. Right that's it for sports then.
Oh, by the way, did I feel like in America, I I didn't even know
the. 4. The Four Nations were going on.
I didn't either at first until and then I was Chuck Brothers I.
Was glued to that hockey game last night.
Also, our president and Canada'sgovernment is just like chirping

(32:29):
heading into the it's, it's kindof fun.
I don't care what your politics.Are what a sport hockey is,
dude. Yeah.
Got to be the most greatest sport out there.
We were watching an exhibition and those guys are ready to take
slap shots off the face to win that.
Exhibition There were three fights in the 1st 90 seconds.
It was fantastic, dude. Hockey.
What a great sport hockey is. When hockey is good, hockey is

(32:50):
good. Playoff hockey is great.
I saw a tweet that said at a Ports line, said James.
Listen to this hockey story, howtough these guys are cause
'cause one of the Kuchuk brothers went out last night and
didn't come back in. Whenever I whenever I see a
hockey player get injured and not come back in, I'm like, oh,
he's hurt. Also, are these Keith Kuchuk's
kids? Yes, I think it's Keith's sons

(33:12):
are Matthew and Brady Kuchuk, and when a hockey player doesn't
go back in, you know he's reallyfeeling it 'cause those guys
tough as nails. This says James Van Reames Dyke
lost lost 4 teeth and needed 30 plus stitches on an Ian Cole
High stick in a Friday night winin Utah.
Utah's the new franchise. He had teeth removed and

(33:34):
stitches to return to action. He assisted on one of the
comeback goals to win and a postgame actually revealed a tooth
was still lodged in his bottom lip and it was stitched in
there. I was like.
Dude, what a gangster. Guy, they said he's currently
eating through a straw. PS He's playing again tonight
like those are the toughest mofos on the planet.

(33:55):
No question all. Right.
It's list time, baby. Let's do it.
In this week's list is our Michigan winter pet peeves or as
Pun pointed out, our Illinois winter pet peeves.
My first one which I would say would be the Topanga would be
only select Dairy Queens are open during the winter and that

(34:17):
pisses me off. Damn it, I want a banana split
floaty thingy. I didn't know any of them were
open during the winter. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. Come on now.
Only select Dairy Queens are open.
What's your go to at the at? The banana split.
What are they called? Blizzards.
Bananas. So they they grind bananas in.
There, let me tell you something, Linda, listen to me.

(34:39):
I don't do bananas bro. Listen to me, the banana split
floaty frosty Blizzard thing will change your.
I'm just glad you didn't say dilly bar.
Hey, when we have the Blizzards draft special, I now know that
I'm safe. I now know that I'm safe for my
my first 2 picks. I just a little.

(35:02):
You're gonna have to cut that out.
So Michigan winter, It's funny. I don't give what your next one
is. My next one.
You want to know what? Pisses.
You know what pisses me off? Depression.
That is my biggest winter pet peeve.
Turn in blue. I have to supplement 77 million.
I use a vitamin D in the winter because I just want to hide in

(35:25):
my room. I'm with you dude.
I met my wife in May and I was like, this is the greatest human
that's ever been put on this earth.
Yep. And then we had our first winter
together. And you're like she.
Turned into a not a very happy. We're not going to make.
I'm sorry, do we? Have I met you before?
She does not like winter, man. Yes, it changed your mood.

(35:45):
Yeah, You know what I do? This is stupid.
In the winter, today was a sunnyday.
If I'm driving on a sunny day inthe winter time and I'm cranking
the heat, I actually just go. Just imagine that it is summer
and I'm sweating my ass off in this car right now because you
have it's like mentally you haveto get by what winter is.
I don't. I actually like the winter as

(36:08):
far as if you're dressed appropriately.
The cold doesn't bother me, the snow doesn't bother me.
I actually think like you can dofun activities in the.
Yeah, You know, there's a guy, there's a guy that wrote, I
think it was a Swedish guy. The Swedes say there's no such
thing as too cold of weather. It's just improper clothing.
Correct. And I agree with that.
If you're dressed properly, it'sfun, it's adventurous.
Like I I I always can think of something fun to do in the

(36:30):
winter, but. That reminds me of what's on my
list next. You don't know what pisses me
off. You know what pisses me off more
than anything is you keep tryingto interrupt my list.
Do you know the windshield? Alright, we talked about how the
windshield wipers always have one too many.
Oh yeah. Except in the winter time.

(36:51):
It leaves a gigantic streak of that sloppy, slushy snow.
It's the Why is there an extra 1I?
Think they're in cahoots with the people that sell the
windshield wiper it? Has to be because.
You can never get a clean nonstop.
It is obnoxious. And then when you're driving and
a truck gets in front of you andit blows all that water and
you're like, oh, I can finally clean my window.

(37:13):
It makes it worse. And you turn them on high,
you're like, oh, I'm using it all.
It makes it. Worse.
And are you like me? I don't.
I like save windshield wiper food like it's made out of gold.
You don't want I want to go. You don't want to run out.
I've run out before. I had to gym.
I had to Ace Ventura my head outthe window and drive to a
basketball practice when I was 17.
Years old. We probably all being in

(37:33):
Michigan have done that. Yes, all.
Right, so for my. First one pisses me off is when
I'm grilling in the winter time I have to put shoes on.
Dude this man over here. Single time I want to go out and
flip a burger, flip a steak, I have to get fully clothed.
Well, let me give you an option.You could just take your socks
off. That's actually something that

(37:54):
doesn't piss me off. That pisses some people off as I
don't mind wearing socks and stepping in a little tiny bit of
puddle. Yeah, except when it's people
negative -2° outside and you just put salt down so you're
stepping on gravel. What I want to say is pun is a
man's man 'cause you are BBQ grilling all year round.
Oh yeah, What are you? What are you?
What are we doing here? Is this the ladies club or are

(38:15):
we cooking steaks like men around?
Here, what are we doing? I'm just saying I like to use
the saute pans in the winter. I go to more of I become more of
a casserole guy in the winter. All right, so for my first one,
the thing that. You know what pisses me off is
heated seats and I don't realizeit at first.
Every time I get in the car, I'mget I get a mile, 2 miles down

(38:37):
the road, my damn hole starts toget hot.
Why is this car have heated seats?
No, no, I think we've talked about I do not want a warm muggy
butt hole, OK? That's why they have settings.
Pun Oh, you could turn it down. Low, medium high.
I have to be high is miserable. That tracks, Stephanie.
Well, I don't want AI, don't want to get too kinky on here,

(38:58):
but she keeps turns on high. Yeah, I like mine on low.
I like mine. Off I drive a hybrid.
Hybrids take forever to heat up in the winter time because the
engine, you know, it can go to battery.
I hit the automatic start and it's like batteries on.
I'm like no, I need you to warm up dude.
And I don't have heated seats inthat car.
You're next to us, you're next to an actual man in a truck and

(39:19):
your car goes, I just shuts mirror.
It just comes out up to a red light.
It is. He's blowing black smoke out of
his exhaust all. Right, so for my first one.
You want to know? It pisses me off.
I, I get up for work so early, Inever know if it's the

(39:40):
appropriate time to salt or shovel because oftentimes it's
so early that I'll shovel and I'll get home from work and
it's, it never looks like I did anything.
So the male lady had to walk through the snow anyways.
Oh yeah. So I never know wind properly.
I guess I could check the weather.
At least you don't have the malelady leaving you notes like us.
This is how much she hates. Us.

(40:00):
I actually had on here that you wake up so early that Michigan
winters for you. I'm amazed that you like sort of
like winter. Y'all, you had the drive.
Because if I was waking up at 4:00 to go out in 7°.
Well, I'm the test dummy for thefreeways to let you know.
Like, hey, you can't get on 75 right now.
I'm the one car. Chopper following you tomorrow.

(40:22):
I am for sure me and like a select few other people.
But the cool thing about that time of day is it is either.
It is either there's always justa couple cars on the road.
It's either really drunk people who have been out way too long,
but you can spot them immediately.
The rest are people who are getting up early to go to work
so they drive pretty damn responsibly because they don't

(40:42):
want to because they don't. Right, Exactly.
Puns got 3 choppers, one from each news station following
them. They're like, yeah, we get this
is the crane Cam. All right, so for my first one.
You know what pisses me off is staying with the with the car.
Thing is, people do not know howmidday I know what you're
leaving work, they get it off. No, they don't know how to

(41:03):
drive. It's like this is my first, even
though I'm 41 years old. I've lived in Michigan my entire
life. This must be the first day I've
ever driven in snow because I can't figure out like I either
got to do one mile an hour on 75or I got to do 180 miles and
prove to everybody that I'm the man.
I'm the man, I got 4 wheel drive.
Dude, how about we just drive Response I?

(41:24):
Just thought of the one the fourwheel drive guy that causes an
accident 1/2 mile behind. Him obnoxious.
Hate that guy. You know, because there is a
level where you can see certain people where they'll put their
hazards on, where they're saying, hey, listen, I'm timid,
I'm scared, leave me alone, leave me alone.
Big truck guy has to go. You know he he's got to scare
the shit out of. Guess what, 4 wheel drive helps
you with traction doesn't help you stop.

(41:45):
Nope. Oh my God I hate that guy.
Yep. Alright, so that reminds me for
my first you. Want to know what pisses me off,
Andy? Since you want to be selfish
with this list, you want to knowwhat pisses me off is the damn
salt that is tracked onto my hardwood floors when the kids
walk in and they get about 8 steps in and I go hey dumb,

(42:06):
dumb, take your boots off. What are you doing?
Oh, I didn't even think about it.
Of course you didn't think aboutit.
It's a Blizzard outside. You're a.
Teenager. That's why you didn't think
about it. Steph and I have the same
conversation every year. This is how it goes.
One day she'll be like, all thissalt and stone here is driving
me crazy. Yes.
And then it turns into this sameconversation every year.

(42:27):
I'm going to go out and try to find some kind of a plastic
thing with a with a edge that they were that fits exactly this
hallway. But the door can still open.
I'm like, it's cute that you thought you were going to find
that. Last I do.
And even if you were to find it,they will step over it.
Yeah, they won't know what's there.
Whatever, they won't even know what's there.
When I was 16, there could have been an Anaconda in the doorway.

(42:49):
I wouldn't have noticed, it would not have.
Been the biggest step Jackson's ever taken in his life and you
won't even realize it. It's actually, you know, the
worst. It's.
Like Duncan from the free throw line, but in your front hallway.
Is my middle daughter is always just like she comes in so
confidently that you're like, hey, you not see the pile of
snow behind you? She just no idea.

(43:11):
My son tracks around the whole house with his shoes on.
He'll come in, let the dogs out to pee.
By the time he's done, it's in the front hallway, long hallway,
kitchen and carpet into the family room.
In the salt, if you don't catch it immediately, so say they come
home and I'm not there when I get there, I'll know they did it
'cause it dries on hardwood floor and it makes like a ashy
look. Oh yeah, you got to like scrub

(43:32):
that. You got to scrub it off, you
know. Pond's house is cleaner than our
house. Ponzo CD shows too.
His house is cleaner than ours. Come on.
Alright for my first one. You can do this one.
I'm out. My list is out.
That was the list is out. You're a lot.
I thought you were going to say,because I didn't think of this
one was the people. This doesn't make me mad, but it
pisses a lot of people off. The people that don't scrape off
the top of their vehicle. So the big piece of snow like.

(43:55):
Ice. Pelt you across the.
Windshield Sometimes I'm in thatguy.
It just depends on how tired I. Am of course I'm most of the
time that guy. Yeah.
Also I drive semi, so like frequently.
I'm probably from work I get on the freeway.
And you're doing it to every andI look.
Back and I'm like why is there no cars behind me?
Because everybody is. Everyone's dead.
Everybody has died. Everyone's in a bitch.

(44:16):
Yeah, So what I was going to sayat the beginning until Pun got
passionate about his latest. I'm sorry about that.
Is the thing that pisses me off is that people talk to us like
Michigan, winter isn't always bad, but they talk to us like
we're in Antarctica. Oh, yeah.
They're like, how can you deal with winter?
Like last winter in 2023, four was like totally mild.

(44:37):
Our first one in this house. Yeah, we get it.
Shovel. It was barely below the.
The word freezing is a funny term because freezing is 32.
No, I'm comfortable at 32. 32 I cracked.
Well, water does. Technically water does freeze at
3032, which is 0. Degrees Celsius.
Hey Einstein, move it along. But like, there's a very big
difference between 11 and 32. And.
It is painful yes, those cold, cold winters.

(45:00):
So there is a difference and Canyou imagine living in a place
like a Minnesota or a Maine or even like go up to Edmonton,
Canada or somewhere N like I wouldn't I wouldn't be able to
last all right. So what I also would like to say
is winter the length of a winter.
Why don't? What pisses me off about winter
is when they're long. This winter we're having right
now is feeling like forever. It got like really cold right

(45:23):
before Thanksgiving and it has not let up.
I thought it was going to be a mild winter and because fall was
progressing nicely and then it changed overnight, yeah.
We had beautiful seasons all theprevious Four Seasons in
Michigan and this winter can kiss my wife.
And it's crazy because I always tell Lauren like to me, I'm like
she she was like, February's theworst month.

(45:45):
And I'm like, what are you talking about?
If winter is over, essentially at that point, she nailed it on
the head. The February it's gotten, it's
dragging because you can see thefinish line, but you're not
quite there, dude. I put on Facebook this week that
we were recording this episode and the Tigers are hosting a
baseball game in 45 days. Look at it outside.
It's unthinkable. Insane.

(46:06):
And I will also say there's a big difference between winter
months puns texting. Again, no I am not.
Making purchases, there's a big difference between winter.
See, that's that's the downside of Pun blazing through his whole
list, right? I did, I just got sidetracked.
There is a big difference between winter months that
include NFL football and then after NFL.

(46:27):
That's a great point. Because once the Super Bowl
ends, you're like, I need winterto be over now, but I instantly.
I also, I mean, I don't know, I've been, the past week has
been bad, but well, since national signing day.
But I'm a Michigan football recruiting nut, so I stay
content with that. But now that National Signing
Day is over, it's kind of rough.I'm just saying, like in the

(46:49):
winter when it's wintery and you're like, oh, we got wild
card football coming up. Yeah, it's not bad.
Yeah, it's not bad. It's actually kind of cozy.
I'm gonna make some chili. I'm gonna watch football.
Exactly. Fantastic.
And then you get to February, it's Super Bowl's over and
you're like, how many weeks tillMarch?
Like damn I got fat as shit since since December.
I asked stuff. I go, hey, what we're doing
winter pet peeves. What's your give me a good

(47:10):
winter pet peeve? You know what she said.
What winter? You know what those?
Hates winter. Pop crawl has to be annual
because it was a fur, fur winterWinter pop crawl has to be
annual because it was a nice change of pace.
It was like a nice thing to. Sprinkle in.
It was. It was.
Great to sprinkle it. In I loved being bundled up.
We got to do seasons. We should do 4A year all.

(47:31):
Right, I'm in. Spring, summer.
Fall. Winter.
Hawaiian shirts. No one else pisses me off about
winter. I maybe we said this already,
but the people are like, I love winter.
I'm like, I hate you. They're like, you can go on
adventures, you can ski. I don't have any hobbies in the

(47:52):
winter. Like I have nothing.
Yeah, I don't snowboard. You know what my biggest hobby
in the winter is? Checking the weather app for
future forecast. What's it going to be 14 days
from now? When am I out of this hell and
when is the sun up later? Because I do get also that
seasonal depression like you're talking about.
You like in the dark all the time.
That's not just Michigan, that'severywhere.
I got a rule change. Rule change.

(48:12):
I want to change spring break from the end of March until now.
Right now, like in the middle ofFebruary.
Get out on the nastiness. Tell me this wouldn't be, this
wouldn't it wouldn't break up the monotony of winter if right
after the Super Bowl, we could go on vacation.
I mean, I guess we could go on vacation if we wanted to.
Yeah, now that we're grown up. Your kids are almost graduated.

(48:34):
Yeah, we actually could, but we should move spring break to
February. 100%. Because March is like, you're
already almost to April and April's almost the summer.
Dude, I. Know do you ever I've been to
Florida in like April when I'm like yes, I'm in Florida and
then I look at the weather at home and it's like 5259 in
Sunday. I'm like, piss assholes.
Yeah, how about this one? Taking out the trash in the

(48:56):
winter time. Brutal.
Brutal. Yep.
You can't do it barefoot. You got you got to put a shirt
on. Yeah, you got to put shoes on.
Yeah, you got to. I said shoes because your laces
will get all drenched up. Yep, I'm too.
I don't like to touch things with like my gloves that are
garbage. Yeah.
So I do it bare handed because Ilike to be able to wash my
hands. I'm a little bit of a
germaphobe. I mean I I don't want to brag

(49:17):
but I bare hand trash too. I mean I grab the trash bag with
my bare hands. Hey, Howie manned out.
All I'm saying is it is like miserably cold.
Stephanie and I have this weird unspoken system of like lining
trash up in the garage to go out.
So it's like ready to just grab.So garbage day is like my hell
in the winter time, especially like this where there's nowhere
to put the cans. Well, I time mine out.

(49:39):
I I instead of leaving out of the front door, I leave out of
the side door. Grab the trash cans on my way to
my truck, leave them right at the curb.
I have but it does. I can't stand.
It it is an added step. How about when you you know what
OLD pisses me off? How about when you shovelled
your whole side? Like the times I'm actually
ahead of the game. And it just.
Keeps her nose. No, no, you're ahead of the

(50:02):
game. You got the sidewalk, you got
the driveway, You're all the wayto the curb.
You turn around and put the shovel away and the snow plow
comes down the street, buries your driveway back in, and that
stuff's like rock hard. Just digging that snow out is
labor. Yeah, that was Lauren's pet
peeve. She wanted to add in was getting
plow, getting plowed into her driveway where she can't get

(50:23):
out. It's the worst.
I mean, listen dude. I mean, never mind.
Do you own a snow blower? No.
Yeah, no, I'm an American. I shovel like.
I feel stuff I like refuse to buy one till at least 50,
probably 60 or. 50I You know what?
I know some. People hard work.
Some people are going to disagree with this because it is
hard work and they want to make it easy, but I I agree.

(50:44):
I think 50 is the age where you can conceivably buy a snow
blower and justify. You so that my gravestone
doesn't say ball rock died of heart attack and snow.
A Canadian. You want to know my next one?
Just waking up out of bed in thewinter time when the house is
cold and you're warm in bed. Yes, my buddy Sean said.
It's like you're being burst into the world every morning.

(51:05):
Every sucks. Yes, I got the heat.
I got the fans in the bathroom that have the heater on.
Them. Oh, really?
I like my my patent to move is going to the bathroom, click the
heater on, close the door, do what else you got to do.
Then when you go in there, you're like, this is like an
Oasis. The worst?
I take really, really hot showers.
Oh yeah, I want it like burning holes through my back.
Coming out of that bathroom. Is awful.

(51:26):
It is like. In the winter.
And no matter what. Cold hardwood floors the.
Girl, if the kids are at the house, the heat is like
ridiculous. They keep it on like I'm like a
66 kind of guy. What do you guys keep yours on
now? 16 Hello class open your books
to page 69. You want to know why next one is

(51:49):
I only got a couple more. I should not have rifled through
all of mine. Because you're bored out of your
mind right now. No, I keep thinking that we're
done and I'm like. Because you're done.
Yeah, because I'm just, I'm being selfish.
How about I'll just bundle thesetwo together.
How about we talked, you talked about spring break, winter
break. How about the flight prices for

(52:12):
those weeks are outrageous? We just looked at taking my son
down to Florida just for a few days because my daughter's going
with her mom and stepdad. The flights are like if you even
if we can afford it. I don't want to do that.
I need to call Justine and neverlook back.
Vacations. See what she's got.
There are there certain that's I'm glad you brought that up
because there are certain priceson certain things where Lauren

(52:35):
always gives me side eyes. But sometimes you see a price on
something, it just pisses you off.
And like I can afford to buy the$6.87 carton of eggs, but eggs
should never be $6.87. But the flights are the same way
you see it. And that's what we have, seven
of us going on vacation. And that's why I'm renting a

(52:56):
car, because booking seven roundtrip flights was 6X the cost of
renting the car 6X. For us to go for flying for five
nights and a rental car, it was 2500 bucks.
Yeah, Airbnb was going to be 2000, like $4500 for Florida.
It's not like it's like an all inclusive resort in the
Caribbean. This is just Florida.

(53:17):
Yeah. Somewhere it's theoretically we
could drive to. It it has been quite the
expensive vacation that we're getting ready to talk.
But it's you guys, this first one, all the kids are going.
You guys are going to have the Yeah.
My daughter's boyfriend's going.It's going to be fun.
You could drop dead from shoveling snow the week after,
so just enjoy it. That's right.
Well. I only got three more here Pawn.

(53:38):
How about this? Is this is my Topanga of my
list? Pumping gas in the winter time
when it's disgustingly cold out.The wind's blowing.
It's night time and you get one of those pumps that that it's
broken. Oh, you have to.
You have to hold. It and your hand, you're like,
you're like, I'm actually losingfingers right now.
It's so cold. I am a gentleman and always pump

(54:01):
the gas, even if stuff's drivingby the way in the winter time.
Yeah, you have to. Do you know what?
Do you know what stuff does in the winter time when we pull up
here in front? So I have to unlock the front
door. She waits until the house is
fully open to even get out of the car.
Oh my God. She hates the cold weather so
much that she wants to be able to be line it right into the

(54:24):
house. Well, think of how frigid it is
for us and for you and the because.
She's got nobody. Of her frame, yeah.
She's got no body fat. Zero body fat.
That was all snowsuit the other day.
It's probably awful to be a woman in the winter.
She does not like winter. Like they're, I mean, I don't
even wear if I'm wearing my bibsand a hoodie and a thermal

(54:47):
underneath. I it, it could be negative too.
I'm not even wearing and you're fine.
I'm fine. Yeah, pawn, Pawn had the the
lumberjack shirt on with the biband the rolled up sleeves the
other day. Yeah, he looked like a sexy
plowman. I was going for the look of an
idiot. A failed skier.
All right, my last two, this one.
How about when you read People's?
I I can't read. How about when you read people's

(55:08):
Facebook posts that live in warmclimates and they're like, hey
old family in Michigan, look at the weather in Florida this
week. Taking the Tri tune out.
Everybody. And then six months later,
they're like, I have a GoFundMe because I don't have a house
anymore from the from the hurricane.
My husband got stung by. Scully Wildfires.
We've taken everything we own. Yeah, I'm sorry, were you

(55:30):
bragging on Facebook six months ago about the the weather in the
Streamline? Yeah, why?
Why do you guys live in Michigan?
We don't deal with snakes, scorpions, black widows,
hurricanes. Every time I see people bragging
about the weather on Facebook, I'm like enough.
Dude, don't you have black widows down there, loser?
I don't hope you die, but I hopeit's.
I hope your leg swells up prettygood.

(55:52):
My last one I got on my list is we have a decent humidifier on
the House but sometimes you get that itchy dry skin in the
winter that's like torture. I always get it like in the
spots you. Can't get Yeah.
And I'm like, this is torture. And you know what Steph says to
me? Rub your back on the door frame
like a bear. There are a lot of.
Guys that do that, I do it. I literally do it.

(56:13):
I actually I had a guy that usedto work for me at my last
company rubbed his back on my door frame in my office every
time he talked to me. So at Christmas I bought him a
back scratcher. That's fantastic.
So stuff was like, hey genius, you know what you can do?
Put lotion on, put lotion on. I was like, is that the other
use of that stuff? Yeah.
Would you say is that the other use?

(56:38):
I get into our goodbye section upon I said last time that we
had three new countries and one of them was New Zealand.
And you said that's a manly country.
And I said that's where they filmed Game of Thrones.
And I was right. We both said the exact same
thing the week we actually did get New Zealand, The country
that we got it wasn't New Zealand because they don't go in
order. It always goes to if you if, if

(56:59):
a lot of people listen, it goes to the top of the country,
right. So it's hard to track.
We have Israel. Really.
And I don't think it's a coincidence.
Are we that? Are we getting involved in this
gossip thing? It is it a coincidence that we
had the perfect snowfall for oursnowsuit pub crawl or is it that
we have listeners in Jerusalem that God is a big fan of ours

(57:21):
Pun anytime a foreigner's like, have you ever have you ever been
to the Middle East? And I just point to my hand
shaped like Michigan. I'm like, where's that at?
Is that next to Canton? Is.
That shout out to Mama Baylog. Make sure you eat those
Christmas cookies. Oh I will.
Hey, what is the return rule? I used Tupperware.
This is a nice ball. Nice thing is, oh, that's going

(57:41):
home in a zip lock. Good call, good call.
I was. Born poor bro.
Good call, good call, because that baby ain't coming back.
Shout out to Mama Baylock. She calls me the other day.
I'm at the gym on my lunch break.
She's like, hey, what's the rules for cornhole?
And I'm like, what? She's like, yeah, we're getting

(58:02):
ready to play cornhole. Remember, we're down in Florida.
I'm like, I'm like Mama Bale, you humble bragging to me while
I'm fighting the the elements uphere like.
I'm in a Blizzard. And then I was like, I told her
and I and she hangs up and then she calls me back.
She's like, yeah, but to the points cancel out.
I was like, listen, it's 7° up here.
You can Google this. I don't.
Care mom, you're just bragging at this point.

(58:24):
Closing thoughts. You know what I like to do in
the winter is hibernate. And you know how I know we're
getting old is I saw this on Facebook.
I have two friends that say thisevery time they post something.
We're at the age where we like to go to bed early on the
weekends. I love it.
But we have some people, maybe not you feel the need to post
how crazy it is that they're going to bed early and it's the

(58:47):
weekend night. You know what?
I. Mean they're like.
Crazy at all? They're like, this is wild.
It's 11:00 PM on a Saturday and I'm in my pajamas going to bed.
No, I'm like, no, that sounds awesome.
Lauren. So you got any box white wine?
Lawrence, like, hey, are you going to miss me?
I'm like, yeah, I'm going to be.It's going to really suck.
And all I could think of my headwas like, that's 12344 days.
I can go to bed by 8:00 and not and not regret.

(59:08):
It or fall asleep on the couch two nights in a row.
Correct. Yes, we are like way too old for
the tin. Room Never.
I am never going there again. I felt like lady.
Yeah. Pull your shirt down.
It's unthinkable that people whoare there that are 21 or 22
years younger than. We it was, it was way.
We were too old. I was also in work clothes.

(59:30):
I was in BIDS and a family. Is in ski goggles.
Yeah, they didn't understand what we were doing at all.
Yeah, but they didn't come around us because Patrick, Yeah,
they were scared. And then?
They were like, I don't want to get trafficked, dude.
You know what I just was reminded of from the pub crawl
as I said this stuff on the side, I go hey every time
because Pawn and Lauren are still in the in the twitterpated
love phase and they we notice that they kiss and hug a lot.

(59:52):
Oh. Everything, this guy, I go
stuff. I want to remember what it feels
like to be a new love. So every time they kiss, we're
kissing. Listen, it was work.
I I from across the bar. All right, so.
After a while I was like, I can't keep up.
We Lauren was standing next to me and Steph and Andy are right
there. I don't know, I kissed her on
the head or something happened. She brought me a something

(01:00:15):
whatever happened, I kissed her on that.
And I look over Andy kisses stuff and I immediately knew
what was happening. And then as the night
progressed, at one point, like Ikissed Lauren and I look over
and this guy's a football field away.
I see him hammering down staff to go get.
Her down running, come over and I kiss.

(01:00:38):
You got to keep up with the Joneses.
At one point I kicked because you kissed Lauren's head a
couple of times. My wife was wearing her late
grandmother's fur headband and let me tell you something, when
you kissed that head after it's been sweating under a fur.
Coat. I kissed her.
I was like, you're getting into real murky water here, my all.

(01:01:00):
Right, Palm, What are we doing next week?
Did you like that? Yeah, I sent you before.
Or should I read some? Liquors and cocaine?
No. What was the list?
It was things we don't regret. No, I said.
Things that we'll never be too old for.
I don't know, things we'd never be too old for.
Yeah, I'm down for that. Might work.
Pop Tarts. I'm never too old for Pop Tarts.

(01:01:22):
Tell you that right now. Exactly.
Best addictions. Underrated adult activities.
Adulting. Useless inventions, Doughnuts,
draft. Donuts draft.
Let's go. Don't you want it?
Don't do that one in my I'll just read.
I'll read like 10 if you still like that one.
Nick Cage movies. Draft.
Oh, Nick Cage or Donuts, baby. Nick Cage or Donuts?

(01:01:45):
I'm good with either one. Which one?
You are all right, Paul. What are we doing next week?
We're doing the Donuts draft baby.
And there's the. Topanga.
Oh, there is an absolute Topanga.
I'm sure I've said it on here before, but there is a Topanga.
It's gonna be the fastest draft ever.
And it ain't a damn long, John, I'll tell you that.
There's there's going to be a very fine distinction between
cakey doughnuts and hollowish doughnuts, but no spoilers.

(01:02:07):
No spoilers, are we? Are we adding punch keys in
there? What are we doing?
Here hey punch key days just around the corner pun.
Hey, every Tuesday's Fat Tuesday, you know what I'm
saying? All.
Right, that's all I got. What you got, pun?
That's it for me, dog Boosh.

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Ep.65 - Our Michigan Winter, Pet Peeves...

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep.65 - Our Michigan Winter, Pet Peeves...