Ep.72 - The Things That Need to be Done PERFECTLY...

PUN & BALROG TALK ABOUT:  The Things that Need to be Done PERFECTLY…

(34:38) – Improv Comedy List.  Tap this time stamp to hear the improv comedy ramblings.

Let’s face it, we don’t do anything perfectly.  But these things we do attempt perfection. 

SHOW OPENING:

Pun got into an argument about watermelon?

Balrog was watching ALF???

(7:52) APPETIZERS:

Balrog starts to tell of an old argument he had with Steph, but clips most of it out!

Brunch pub crawl update and Pun’s wedding dress pub crawl idea.

(13:17) ERRORS & OMISSIONS from last episodes:

From Ep. 71 – The Things that DON’T Piss us Off!!!

Being late for certain things?

Losing at sports?

(19:20) SPORTS:

Balrog needs to get Pun into watching PGA Tour golf.

We have an American Pope Leo, who is a Chicago White Sox fan!

NBA Draft Lottery.

(34:38) The Improv Comedy List:  The Things that Need to be Done PERFECTLY…

The fellas needed to tread lightly on some topics that have to do with significant others.

(59:58) GOODBYES –

What language do people from Norway speak??

Some degenerate Vegas themed things. 

NEXTTIME:   Adulting Pros & Cons.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I freaking love our podcast. I'm so hungry right now.
I assumed his name was Darth Virgin.
Come on, you're talking dirty tome right now.
She's like, what do you got in your mouth?
And I got a fruit by the foot, hanging halfway down to my lap.
I like to eat my calories, not drink them.

(00:24):
All right, hello, Hello and welcome back to episode 72 of
Conversation Humor with Pawn andBall Rock.
This is Pawn across from me. You don't.
Know what pisses me off? Colby Calle doesn't make music
anymore. Who Colby Calle there's.
No way dude, the world has already passed me by.
Fun. You don't know who Kobe.

(00:45):
I watched the MTV Music Awards like 20 years.
Ago. Then you'd know who she.
Is and didn't know who anybody was.
OK. Yeah, I was.
The world has passed me by. Side note, I am down a terrible
World War 2 rabbit hole. A terrible.
World War 2's got to be the easiest rabbit hole to go into.
Lauren walked in the house yesterday and I was snuggled up

(01:05):
on the couch watching Schindler's List.
So it was 530 at night. Just by yourself, she goes.
Dude. I came downstairs at 9:00.
The movie was still on. Yeah, that's like a day long
movie. Yeah.
She comes in, you're just fetal position on the couch.
You're like, how? Why did they?
Do it. Why are they doing that?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's got to be one of
the easiest of all rabbit holes.Together also, I just derailed

(01:27):
your intros. I just, we're going right into
it. You're good.
Today is Thursday, May the 15th.We're going to be talking about
the things you have to do perfectly.
And I want to thank Pawn. As I just said, it's Thursday.
Pun came over. Puns worked a 14 hour day, so
he's not going to be funny today.
Well, I apologize for him up front.
I told, I told Andy, I said, I know that I'm hangry 'cause I

(01:49):
haven't eaten. And I worked a long day because
I got a little snippy with Lauren because she didn't pick
up a watermelon at the grocery store.
That's it. She goes she, that's the only
reason, right? She's like, hey, babe, the
watermelons were small and didn't look good.
And I'm like, you seriously didn't get one?
And she's like, what? She like corrected it.
Quit what? Say what?
What? So it was a combination of Pun

(02:10):
working 14 hours, Pun being starving because he's dieting
again. Yep, and him not getting his
fructose tonight. Yeah, so she but as soon as she
went, huh, I immediately snappedout of it, like, oh, maybe I'm
being a jerk. Let me not be a jerk.
I'm gonna be a jerk. If I had a watermelon, I'd give
it to you bud. Yeah, I mean.
All I can offer is blueberries. A real friend would have
watermelon. That's right, last time we got

(02:32):
home, they don't want to hear this, but last time we got 1.
I had a lot of seeds in it. Pun.
I you know what? I'll tell you what, Don't buy
the seedless. Yeah, they're bullshit.
They're bullshit, they're tiny, and then you end up with the
little seeds. Yeah, they're still seeds
anyways. It's like the little bones that
you find in fish. Yes, you have to cut out the
center 'cause it's like yes. And even if they're not there,
the little fish bones, they're dead seeds make you worried

(02:54):
about more. Seeds, yes, yeah, yeah, it's
silly and I think seeded watermelon is far more delicious
and. So I don't know who Colbie
Cailly is it? Starts in my, makes me crinkle
my nose. I'm so old, I don't know who
that is, but I can tell you who's cut their lawn so far this
week outside. I'm becoming an old guy today
when we talk about the things you have to do perfectly.

(03:14):
Which is funny because. I do almost nothing perfect.
That's exactly what I wrote. These are theoretical things for
me, because I do nothing perfectly.
Yeah, we talked about like the talents we wish we had or we've
talked about talents we wanted or what we're good at.
I'm not. I don't do anything extremely
well. I realized pun.
Yeah, like pretty social, kind of.
I mean, I can pick a pineapple out with the best of them.

(03:37):
I mean, I know how to judge for pineapples, right?
But like watermelons, right? That's it.
That's all you got. That's it.
I don't even, I mean, I don't doanything perfectly, but for
example, there's some people I know that do like gotta give her
a shout out. Mama Baylog, my mom is a great
Baker and cook. She's a great Baker, fantastic
answer and she put me in the Christmas.

(04:00):
Letter. The Christmas letter, so there's
not a foul word I could say about.
Mama Baker made the Christmas. Letter You could not.
There's nothing negative I couldsay about Mama Baila.
Make sure to leave a five star and click the notification bell
if you leave a review on Apple Podcast.
We read it on the air, such as the five star review we received
from Sarafina. She said me and my daughter have

(04:21):
just started listening to y'all's podcast.
It's hilarious exclamation point.
She thinks it's cool. She her daughter thinks it's
cool that I know you guys and that you're from my hometown.
Keep up the great work :). So thank you, Sarah, and make
sure to share it with your friends.
I also wanted to give a quick shout out to sister, the pods
friend Purina. Purina, I'm saying that.

(04:42):
Not to be confused with Purina not to.
That's a dog food. Parina drove my sister to the
airport and my sister said something about the podcast and
Parina was like, yeah, I know. I listen every single week.
Oh, my sister was like, you do. And she's like, yeah, you told
me to listen. I TuneIn.
I love it. I was like, come on, Why has?
She not been shouted out. Soon, I know.
Come on. So what's up, Parina?

(05:02):
She's also probably like, dude you're saying my name wrong.
That's Harina. It's like Parina happy.
Fun's getting even hungry. And I am a cat.
He's like. By the way, you got any parina
around? How's your?
Cat. Right now, if you got any of
that, hey Alf, calm down. When's the last time you thought
about health You? Want me to tell you the truth?

(05:23):
Yeah, well, I mean, well, here'sthe thing about Andy.
He is raising his son in the wayI always envisioned I would
raise my son. He's knowledgeable about all the
cool 90s shit. His son knows all the cool 90s
stuff. So spoiler alert, it was not
because I was showing it to him.Sometimes I do things that I
think are really, really funny. Like I don't do it perfectly

(05:46):
because I'm not perfect at anything, but I think in my head
this is going to be so funny. So Steph and I were on a date
night and she was like upstairs or something.
We got home and she's changing. I just I was you.
Turned on a little hammered. I was hammered.
I was a bit inside. With a naked wife upstairs, you
turned on elf. Hey.
See you later, your couch potatoes.

(06:11):
I just, I just envisioned Steph in a robe coming downstairs like
Andy. What the hell?
And then she just walked back upstairs.
Mowing down a cat. She's just disgusted.
I can tell you what man, I'm sitting there going I'm I'm
going to get my own world and I'm like when she comes down and
she sees me with Elf. She's going to be so turned.
Off it's going to be hilarious. That's like totally my type of

(06:32):
comedy. So I did watch Elf within like
the last month. First time in a long time and I
can prove I sent a picture to mybuddies.
I was like, am I the only one that's hammered watching Elf
right now? Yeah, yes, for.
Sure, I'm so glad this is what the podcast turns into.
I'm gonna clip out a couple things earlier just to keep all
the elf content in there. You can find us on Instagram.
Pisses me off. Do you want to know what pissed

(06:54):
me out? We're in one of the nicest
neighborhoods in the country, and it's 108° in your.
House, I turn the air on just. For you.
OK, good. Thank you.
But this room is. Hot.
It's very hot. I don't know what it.
Is I thought it was just becauseit was me.
You and a bed. Wow.
Hey, my loins are burning. If you haven't already listened,
go back and listen Episode 71 onthe things that don't piss us

(07:17):
off. And I always talk about my
favorite part. Cousin of the pod did text me
and said pawn had the Topango. The list.
What was it? You know which one it was?
I don't know. It was when you said when you
have a friend that you haven't seen a long, long time.
Oh, yeah. And they don't guilt trip you.
It's just, yeah, that that like,doesn't piss you off that they
don't. No it doesn't.
But the funniest part was when Iasked you if what you would do
if Lauren took the best bite of your cheeseburger.

(07:38):
Like that middle bite. Yeah, and you just tucked your
feet under and put your hands inyour lap.
That's OK baby, you know I. Was like, we've lost him boys.
Yeah, I'm done. He was rocking back and forth.
My my cheeks were rosy. Oh my God, you know our
appetizer section? I was going to ask you before

(07:58):
you said that you got into a little tiff about a watermelon.
That's how you know your relationship's doing well.
If your only fights about watermelon, you'll be fine.
And you know that the maturity is there because I immediately
realized I was the one being a jerk and was like, let me knock
it off. Let me just stop.
Let me just stop. That'll end sometime.
At some point, all relationships, you're going to
have a fight. Pun.

(08:19):
Oh yeah, I mean, fights happen. I mean, fights happen, Steph and
I, Steph. So I had this on the show doc
for so long, but I wanted to make sure it was far enough into
her past that she forgot about it.
Yeah, because she she came to meone day and she's like, we got
to clean this bathroom. I think your poker guys peed all
over this bathroom and I'm like.Which is probably for sure hat.

(08:41):
I don't know. I saw that.
I think it was our nephew that was in there.
He's not very good. And she goes, so you saw it.
And you didn't? But you didn't clean it.
And I was like, kind of got me there, but it wasn't me.
Yeah. So not really my responsibility.
So I'm already, like, going downa path that's just not winnable
at this point in part. But then a few weeks later, she

(09:02):
goes, how long is that bag of that Myer's bag of trash going
to sit outside by the grill? And I was like, what, Myer bag
of trash? She showed me.
And I was like, you know what? I'm clipping all this out
because I'm getting very scared right now.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

(09:23):
So actually, you know what I realized if you are fighting
with your spouse or are we won'tsay fighting because Stephanie,
I don't fight, but you know somethings that can cause a
bickering session. What I learned recently, what
I've I've learned this before Pom, but I was reminded recently
is when. When she turns her back, no,
just tackle. Just spear.
Just spear. No, Stephanie is a very

(09:45):
independent woman, so she doesn't care if I'm in or out of
the house on certain nights. Like especially the kids are
older. I don't need to like ask
permission to do things. I had a few things lined up.
I did poker Friday. I had Matt, my buddy Florian for
dinner and drinks in Royal Oak on Monday.
Went to this company suite last night on a Wednesday and I was
like, man, I am beat. I have been burning the midnight

(10:09):
oil and going around the clock lately and you want to know what
pisses your spouse off? What's that when you're having
all the fun without her and thenyou complain about it in?
Front of her I'm so. She's like, oh, is is poker and
drinks and beer and dinner and Tigers game.
Is that wearing? Yeah, your walk off hits in the
ninth. Wearing you down is.
That wearing it out. So yeah, don't, don't, don't say

(10:29):
that. I mean, all guys know this, but
every once in a while you forgetabout it.
You know, oh, let's, let's set this pub crawl in.
That's what I wanted to talk to and I'll clip that back to
appetizers. So this is what I wanted to do
for the pub Crawl. Pawn is the date.
I told you and Lauren I was going to make a Facebook invite,
but I decided, you know what, let's just announce it on here.
OK. And.

(10:50):
If you listen, yeah, we'll do one, but we're not going to,
we're not going to put in all the effort to invite people.
We're just going to announce it here.
And if you're a listener, we love you and we want to see you
there. I agree.
So. And where the Hell's Sarah Jobin
at? What day are we going?
June 7th. June 7th.
Which happens to be Chad's birthday.
And we're doing 2. Days after my birthday his his

(11:11):
mom and dad had the same nasty idea.
Thoughts in their house. Two days later, yeah.
So we're going to do brunch. We're going to do brunch.
Pub crawl. Yep, downtown same spots I feel
like. No, I think we should go to, I
think, I think we should start at Cork town.
OK. There's a cool place in Cork
town so if you guys are interested in the brunch pub
crawl, reach out to us on socials or figure out which

(11:34):
episode I said puns phone numberon a long time ago and text him.
Oh. Yeah, he did do that.
I forgot about. That and we will share the plans
with you guys. Still get you still getting
dudes Wiener pics. Brunch around what, 11?
Yeah, I think, yeah, I think youquoted, I can remember this
quote that why can I not talk? Dear God in heaven, I believe

(11:55):
quote, UN quote. You said I refuse to go if it's
not pre 11:00 start time. We're gonna, hey, it's gonna be
a brunch pub crawl with the appropriate times.
We're starting in the morning, we're starting in the morning
and we're ending in the very early afternoon.
Lauren's sister was considering going dress shopping.
They were like tossing dates outthere and I go, what if it was

(12:16):
June 7th? They went dress shopping and we
pub crawled around it and then every time she came out in a
dress we cheered and went she goes Jackie.
Jackie wedding dress pub crawl. No, Christina.
Oh, OK, that's not Jackie's already married.
Oh. Yeah, I know.
Oh yeah, I remember everything. Big pub crawl.
Yeah, by the way, shout out thatfirst.

(12:36):
First of all, that's a brilliantidea for a pub crawl.
I think so. Christina wedding dress pub
crawl I think reaction pub would.
Murder us that would. Be if we were.
Just if if she like came out shewas unsure and then 17 drunk
people walked up with this is the best dressed up.
We're all standing there with 40s and paper bags.
No, I don't like that. I like the.

(12:58):
No, I like the other second one.So reach out to us for the pub
crawl if you guys want to come because it's going to be at
least the four of us, I think Lauren's whole family.
Lauren's sisters and husbands. And you know Alan will be there.
You know that Sarah Joe's comingand.
Hey Chad Canister, missed the last one.
So yeah, Banister, what's up? Make that dude.

(13:20):
Get into our ES and OS section, the ones that I did not have
time to get to last week on the things that you don't want to
know. It doesn't piss me off.
What'd you got? This one actually.
I'm going to save that one for last.
I got 3. Being late does not piss me off
some. People are like, I'm alive,
there's nothing. No, no, you want to know?

(13:42):
It pisses me off. All right?
You want to know what pisses me off for real?
All right, say we got a long drive.
You know, we're rushing. You know what you should do?
Not get ready until we pull up. And then like, oh, let me throw
my shoes on. Let me throw my sweater on.
Yeah. I I hate being late to places.
So I'm a hypocrite because if I'm the one that's causing us to

(14:05):
be late, it does not bother? Me.
Of course not When? Someone else is making us late
like you just described it like drives me.
Nuts. It drives me nuts.
I'm the dad in the driveway honking the horse.
I am selective about the things that I am OK with being late at.
Yeah, I probably shouldn't put this on a public podcast, but
like, I work in an industry thatyou don't have.
Like if I'm there at 8:00 or 8:15, it does not matter.

(14:26):
Yeah, my work. I'm kind of like that too.
Like if if there if I wake up and I snoozed my alarm, I'm
like, you know what? I think I'm going to take a long
hot shower and I'm going to showup real or if.
Traffic's a tiny bit better. When you leave the house later,
it's. Like, like I could not do a job,
like I could never be a teacher where you have to be there.
At a specific time every. Morning.
I would be, I wouldn't be. I don't know how teachers do it.

(14:49):
And also my Hey Mama Baylog, youknow, we're not trying to pick
on you and I'm not trying to worry you, but I am not good at
being on time for church. Like Mama Baylog, I'm pretty
sure there's something. Within Stephanie, me, they're
just like, you know, if we go a little bit later then with.
There's less people. I was joking.
We were one of my nephews first communion a couple weeks ago and

(15:10):
those are long masses. When they first communionize all
the kids, I was like, you know what?
If we get there late and have tostand in the back, there'll be
so many people there and they won't even know we're there
until the end. Yeah, you were there the whole
time. We.
Were there the whole time. You don't know.
You don't know. It doesn't piss me.
Off doesn't piss you off. This is sort of the same, but
you're not late. I do not mind being the last
human being seated on an airplane.

(15:32):
I don't know. How like when you're sitting
there waiting for the plane, they call you to the gate, are
you like instantly in line? Like, you know, the people form
the line even when they're not supposed to be called up.
No, the only reason I'm not is because I'm overly polite in a
way that annoys me to everybody,in a way that bothers me, but I
cannot stop. Well, the.
The reason that people, I think the theory, the reason that

(15:53):
people get into the line when they're like now boarding the
veterans and the people who needassistance getting on and like
900 people get in line. I'm like, this isn't your time.
Yet no. But the reason people get in
line is because they're worried about the overhead.
Space. Yeah, but what all that?
Shade to everybody is there's anoverhead slot for each person on
the plane. So if you're not an awful human

(16:13):
and hog two of them like some people do because they're like,
well, I have this little carry on plus my food.
They hog them all. If people were just nicer to
each other, Yeah. But yeah, I don't mind.
I, I like want to be the last person on the plane.
I get when it's like super hot in there.
Yes, I agree. And I want to be overbooked.
We're offering $500 Delta cash. You know the last thing that

(16:35):
doesn't piss me off? What's that?
This one pisses you? I guarantee it pisses you off
because I've played sports with you.
I don't mind losing. I'm like the weird guy.
No, if I OK, I don't carry it into a full day thing, but in
that immediate, immediate. Moment.
I want to crucify everyone's soul.
That beats me. It drives me wild.

(16:56):
I guess it was just going to thesmall Catholic school where we
got our butts kicked by everybody.
Yeah, when I play Saturday morning, I was just, it's funny,
I was just having that conversation with Kyle at
basketball, and he's, he's the same as you.
He's like, oh, no. Once we're on, once I'm on a
team, I'll do anything. I don't care.
For fast breaking, I don't wins if I if I'm playing with some
guys who where you're like, I gotta take it easy.
And then you take it easy and they start to beat you and then

(17:17):
they start to chatter and then they start to chatter and you're
like, oh, God, yeah. You ever heard of Kobe Bryant?
Because he's coming. Wait, are you gonna put him into
a helicopter crash you're gonna be doing?
Too soon, too soon. Too soon.
Too soon. Way too soon.
So, yeah, I think going to the. I don't know what it is like
when I play basketball in the morning, my only goal is for it
to be a competitive game. Yeah.
So like, some people wanna kill people and, like, win, win, win.

(17:39):
But I'm like, yeah, but if you're up by 15, nobody's
playing the last five minutes. And, well, that's what I hate.
I just wanna get good exercise, have a good.
Run. But everybody, OK, let me walk
that back a little bit because when I went to your Saturday
run, everybody was cool as hell.Nobody was talking reckless.
There's a difference with like, I'm not overly competitive.
I want just the same thing if everybody at the gym is like the

(18:01):
guys on your Saturday run. Why you gotta talk about my
Saturday run? No, that was everybody was like,
everybody knew they had to work Monday.
Yeah. The problem is when I walk into
a gym and then somebody starts running their mouth, then your
juices get flown. Then it's like.
Junk talk gets to me. It gets to me big time, and then
I start dropping shoulders and then next thing you know, that's
how you broke your arm. That's how I broke my wrist.

(18:23):
Yeah, Yeah. Yeah, I think that's The thing
is that if you start talking junk to me, I have like
flashbacks to high school when. When you can actually do
something. About well, no, schools would be
beating us and they'd be talkinglike no, no, no.
Talking bothers me now if it's friendly and in a joking way.
Doesn't, doesn't, that's all I do is make.
I love it while I'm playing basketball.
But they're being serious. Yeah.

(18:44):
If you're like, wait, do you really think you could beat me,
Don't you? Yeah.
You really think? Yeah, you really think you could
beat me? OK.
Yeah, junk talk is tough, especially nowadays because like
sometimes there's young kids that go very rarely, but there
was this one young kid Pun. It's always the end.
He was just chirping. And you know why?
Like in the NBA now, you dunk onsomeone, you're supposed to
stand over him. Yes.
That didn't fly in the 90s. No.
So like these young kids come, they just talk junk to

(19:06):
everybody. And I'm like, oh boy, we're
gonna, we're gonna play some 90sbasketball.
Yeah, we're yeah. Then they're like, oh, you put
why are you getting all serious?I'm getting serious because you
were running your mouth. I just wanted to show you what
the hard talk. Shit.
I wanted to show you what the floor tasted like.
Get into our sports section. Speaking of golf, which I just

(19:26):
clipped out, it's too bad that you don't.
I have like almost nothing for sports, but it's too bad you
don't. I feel like you are a closet.
Want to be a golf fan just for the big events?
No, I, I, I don't know that I'm in love with golf enough to go
myself a lot, but I could totally see myself getting

(19:46):
invested in watch. I totally could see myself
getting invested into it. So I wanted to ask you this
question. Have you ever golfed?
Maybe five times in my life. And you were terrible.
Well, it was always like golf outings for whatever Is it your
hammer? Yeah.
You're eating a dog at the turn after 13 beers already, Yeah.
Those are the most fun. Yeah.

(20:06):
So the I didn't, I wasn't talking junk saying you're
terrible. Because I don't.
I am. I'm not good.
But nobody picks up a Golf Club and is good at it.
Nobody, right? It's just a tough sport to play.
But once you get to the point where you hit some good shots
and you see that it's possible, yeah, you get addicted.
And then you watch it on TV and they make it look so easy.
Well, I'm getting real close to I, I, I'm feeling the retirement

(20:29):
bug from basketball, really. I don't feel that.
I was talking to Russo about that, where he's like, man, I'm
sort of like losing the love of it.
Man, I love it. I think, 'cause you still love
it. You guys played long, long years
when I wasn't, yes. Like I used to play at Wayne
State every Friday and then I played in like a work league and
then I played in the church league and then I didn't play at

(20:49):
all for like 10-15 years. Yeah, so you that's a great way
to refund. It I didn't play from like 30 to
40 years old. Yeah, so you, you and.
Then I jump back in and now I'm like ass stuff.
I'm like obsessed with basketball now.
It's like so fun because I want to exercise and I hate jogging
and I'm like, this is exercise and I'm having so much.
Fun. That's probably what it is, is a
long break is needed to read. You know, sometimes you just

(21:12):
need a break. Yeah, so that's actually also
what I was going to say too, is like I'm, I'm just happy
playing. Like I don't care if I win or
lose because we just keep score to keep it competitive.
I just, if I have a bad turnover, then I'm annoyed.
If we lose, I don't care. Yeah, I just want to play well.
But like, I just, I think more people would like golf if you
played golf because you PGA Championship is is it's good TV.

(21:33):
I no I could see myself being invested in golf.
The problem is I just don't turnon the TV enough to like ohh
golfs on. What you gotta do is get into my
fantasy league and then you knowall the players.
You know, it's funny is I, I have vastly different friend
groups because I just got asked to be in a NASCAR league and I
go, dude, I thought, I thought Dale Earnhardt was still

(21:54):
running. Pun that too soon, too.
Soon. Took me a minute to get that
joke. NASCAR.
I mean, Speaking of NASCAR, that's something that if I got
involved with, I'd probably enjoy, but I'm not sure.
I, you know, I don't know, because a lot of the guys that I
coach with, like you go to theirgarage on Sundays, they're
drinking beers and it's on in the background.
People. Love.

(22:14):
They love it. I think I don't.
All right, here's my thoughts onit.
I don't know if they love it or if they love all the
shenanigans. That's how I feel about golf.
Do people love golf or do they love the idea of drinking a
couple of beers while you're outside on a Sunday sunny day
and you're hitting the ball and you're away from no
responsibilities. There's like, So what?

(22:36):
Do they actually love NASCAR or do they love going to like hang
out, party, tailgate, drink beers in the garage and watch
that's. A good point because I don't get
NASCAR. I was gonna say about golf too.
There's really funny videos you can see of like wife is picking
up husbands from the golf courseand you can tell that they've
had no responsibilities for 4 1/2 hours because it's
hilarious. NASCAR, it's probably the whole

(22:57):
thing. Like people like to go.
Like when people go to a NASCAR event, they go the day before.
They like bring a camper. Yeah, they're there for the
whole. Week, they're whole for the
whole. It's like a whole deal Banister
could tell you all about. It Yes, it is.
They are. They're their own little like
subsection. They're that.
They're a clique. You ever see a picture of
Banister's tailgate? They go to the Indy 500 every
year and his group is completelyout of control.

(23:19):
I I couldn't he's out of controlat a pub craw imagine at Daytona
or something. It'd be insane.
He. Collects like beaters, so they
bring cars that look like they're not going to make it
home. Like the car it looks like Larry
the Cable Guy car in that movie Cars that's like their whole
tailgate. But I went to a NASCAR event
once for work. I brought a guy and I knew so

(23:40):
little about that. Do you know how long those races
are? Aren't they like 300 laps?
Yeah, something like that. I think they're differ, but
yeah, I I thought it was like. Yeah, these are the 20 minute
thing. 20 yeah, I thought it wasa it's like 5 hours, yeah, it's
hours and hours and hours and wewere in the infield suite so I
enjoyed myself because, you know, we had the suite level
tickets, but I was like, this isgetting a bit repetitive for

(24:01):
hours and hours just watching cars zip by yeah.
But they feel the same way aboutbasketball, I'm sure.
They feel even more so about golf.
People are like golf. When I tell people I watch golf,
they're like, what are you on drugs?
Are you the most boring human onEarth?
I but I don't know, I could see the appeal to, but you're
talking to the wrong guy. I can see the appeal to watch in
tennis where it's like you watcha high level athlete at anything

(24:25):
and you're like this is impressive.
I think it's once you play and know the rules because I also
could never watch tennis. I played with my daughter a
little bit. She taught me some basics and
then I watched her play and I enjoyed watching her play more
than I'm watching, like Roland Garris as a tournament and I'm
like this. Is awesome, yeah.
It's crazy. Couple notes on the A couple
additional notes I had on the draft just to wrap up the NFL

(24:46):
draft. A couple things I forgot to say
last week. I forgot to say the NFL draft.
I might have mentioned this lastyear or the year before, since
this is year three of the podcast.
I'm a little bit uncomfortable. I'm very, very comfortable in my
sexuality Pun. I don't know where this is
going, but I like it already. The NFL draft.

(25:07):
You want to give me a hug, dude?We slap hands, we pat each other
on the back twice. That's how I hug everybody.
There's like a dude. Kiss on the lips, little.
Tongue little. Smoochy.
I'm a little uncomfortable with the length, the amount of time
of Rodger Goodell's hugs with the first round.
Draft pitch. Very, very.
Extremely long. And then they start bobbing back
and forth and I'm like. I think, I think that's more

(25:29):
like a narcissistic like look what I'm doing for you.
I know you poor little peasant. But he didn't.
That's the how I take. Players started doing it with
him. The DAP UPS in the hub, yeah.
They're the ones like it startedwith like some offensive lineman
that just picked him up and Bearhugged him on stage.
One time maybe he felt somethingin the shorts one time and he's
like unless he D lineman. I don't give, I don't give a

(25:50):
shit if you if there's two guys that want to go tip to tip, I'm
for their If that's your lifestyle, go for.
It Yeah, we're not judging. I'm just uncomfortable with how
long they're hugging this dude. Yeah, they don't.
They are very long. It's very weird.
Yeah, I never, I it didn't. It's registered, but in my
subconscious I never. Thought about it, I think about
it every year just at the very beginning and I'm like, OK, let

(26:12):
him go. I I think two more rocks back
and forth then he's got. Cuz you're putting yourself
there. You're like, what point would I
be a rock? Yeah.
It's like the guy who holds on too long with the handshake.
You're like, OK. Guy and how does he not know
feel you pulling away he. Does he does he does.
It's like some weird little play.
What are we doing? We size you want to show it and

(26:33):
see what's bigger necks those guys the.
Guy that doesn't pull the hand away is perfect.
It annoys the crap. Devils is going to be their
enemy at some point if they evermess up.
Like he just can't wait to find these.
I don't think anybody likes them.
So they're rocking back and forth going, dude, let me go.
And then he's rocking back and forth going you're going to owe
me $25,000, dude. He.
Probably smells like mothballs. I hate Roger Goodell.
Yeah, I did see a funny joke that said the Pope was selected

(26:56):
on day two of his draft. The new Pope, Leo and Shoulder
made it to day three. Hey, the funniest thing about
the Pope being elected was his brother.
You know, they're from Chicago, and I seen a reporter going,
well, you know, they say he's a Cubs fan.
He's like, why does that keep getting out there?
He's a White Sox fan. He's not a Cubs fan at all.

(27:16):
Dude, it's so awesome out in America.
Pope, it's a White Sox. Yeah, it's.
Insane. And he's his brother's doing an
interview and he and they're like, you had dinner with the
Pope on the first night he became Pope.
How was that? He's like, it was fine.
We ate pizza and they're like, what are you going to call him?
And he's like, I'm oh, I forget out what?
But he goes, no, I'm not going to call him Pope.
I didn't call him father either.Yeah, like I'm just like, I

(27:39):
don't. That's just Leo to me.
Leo. I love that.
I love it. It like humanizes him.
Absolutely. And all the other popes, they
speak a lot of languages, but they're like, yeah.
And they're like speaking. Slightly disconnected.
He's like, you know what? I thought that White Sox should
have fired Ozzy again two seasons before he got fired.
He's like, you know what? I don't like Roger Goodell's
long hugs either. It's kind of weird.

(28:00):
Kind of creeps me out. Kind of weird, yeah.
I also saw that you sued the NFLfor emotional distress during
Sugar Sanders drafts. Life I did as a fan did.
You see that fan that did? That no, somebody really did.
Oh yeah. I mean, people sue for
everything. And I got to give my cousin a
shout out. My cousin father Jerry, he said
to my uncle Pat, who then sent me the message.

(28:20):
He said, do you know how many Ohio State players were drafted
in the draft this year? 214 Ohio State players in the
whole NFL draft. Oh.
I thought. I thought they.
Sucked. They sucked. 14 Ohio State
players were drafted. And you know what my cousin
said? 13 too many.
That was O and 48 against Michigan.
That's exactly right. That.
Was good. And just a couple quick notes on

(28:42):
the NBA draft lottery that just happened.
Atrocious, absolutely atrocious nonsense.
I, you know, I excused the Patrick Ewing thing.
I excused the Tim Duncan thing. You were, you were going to
Santa talking. Yeah, I was born Ewing.
Yeah, Duncan, we we excused thisis this is so blatant and

(29:03):
disrespectful and rude. Like, OK, so the so now we
understand why Luca went to the biggest market.
He went to LA and they said, hey, we'll get you the first
pick if you give our superstar. Because LeBron, It's nonsense.
And you know why Pawn? Because think of who are the
best teams in the NBA right now?Who's playing right now?
Denver is playing Oklahoma City,Yeah, and Indiana Pacers.

(29:25):
So in the Celtics. Of all those, there's only two,
like three of the five teams youjust mentioned are small
markets, and that's actually a problem for the NBA.
Who? Who is a small market though?
OK, C. Yeah, I guess, OK, OK.
No, OK. C is a small market, you're
right. Denver Denver's I.
Feel like not? Necessarily small, but when you
go to Denver, it's just like being in Florida.

(29:45):
Like people in Denver are out biking and hiking and walking,
skiing, yeah, skiing. They're like their lives aren't
run by just sports. Like that's not a.
Major We're kind of losers. Yeah, the choice is a small
market and we also like to sit in our recliners.
Yeah, I don't think Detroit's a.Small market hiking, we wouldn't
be good. It's like me.
It's like a little schmidium. It's big when we're good and

(30:06):
it's tiny when we're bad. But yeah, the NBA draft lottery,
dude, the Dallas Mavericks, I have it here. 1.8% chance to win
the draft lottery. I mean, to be fair, it's not
like it's impossible. Obviously it's a 1.8%.
Chance. It's not impossible.
But it is why? Don't you tell me who got the
number two pick there pun. It was was it?
It was the. Spurs.
Spurs. Yeah of course it was the Spurs

(30:27):
cuz now they have enough draft capital to trade.
For who had? Giannis.
Who had the worst look? Yeah.
It's disgusting dude. Who had the worst?
Wasn't the Wizards have the worst record in the NBA?
Yeah, so. Listen to the small market teams
that got completely. Hot rear-ended, Yeah.
Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards and Charlotte Hornets all got
completely jobbed. Yeah, every year the.

(30:48):
Hornets, New Orleans Pelicans The MBA did not want Cooper Flag
going to Washington to rot for 10 years.
I seen a video that a guy said, you know what?
I'm not. I don't wanna discuss what just
happened and how we were clearlyduped by the NBA.
Which market? All I wanna say is Cooper flag

(31:09):
go back to Duke for one more year and stick it to the NBAI.
I put on here, I was like, hey, you know that it takes a
generational white kid to get the Utah Jazz to finally tank
for the number one pick and theydidn't even get.
It they didn't get it, he would have done great.
He'd had nine wives. A guy would have been Mormon in
no time. No disrespect to the Mormon.
And you know what? People.
People. Are they Mormon or are they Joe?

(31:32):
Are they LDS now? Right.
I don't know what that means like.
Church of that day. Saints.
What's his name? Joe?
Joe, correct us on if it's OK tosay Mormon or if it's LDS.
The last thing I would say on that is that everybody has
conspiracy theories in all kindsof sports.
You know, like the player who was the player in the NFL the
other year that said, I think itwas Arian, Foster said.

(31:53):
Oh, the NFL is rigged. It's all on a.
It's all on a script. Yep.
So it's always got a world conspiracy case.
And you can't do anything about it in the NFL, right?
Game to game, you can't do anything about it.
Games have been thrown in sports.
Tim Donaghy's in jail for basketball.
He's out now. He's doing like documentaries
and books. No, he's not.
He's been. Out for a while, he's doing all

(32:13):
kinds of podcasts and stuff. Surprised he didn't get shanked
in there. No, no.
But what I'm trying to say is like game, that can happen game
to game. I wonder how you can prove to
the fans at the NFL draft or theNBA draft lottery is not fixed.
Well, I'll tell you what you do is you don't say there's a
random accountant in a in a roomhidden that nobody can see.
He's the only one who knows. How about this?
You just take the ping pong balls, show them to the camera,

(32:35):
dump them into the machine. I mean, we still thought, you
know, that was the what was the conspiracy with the Ewing thing
was the frozen ball wasn't it wasn't dated to borrow.
It was like you could feel whichone it was.
There was, I think it was frozenballot.
The ball, the machine should suck him up now.
I was joking. My buddies and I said listen,
how many grandmas talk about conspiracy theories at bingo
when they say G47? Oh yeah, none.

(32:56):
Alan won again, of course, because.
They're pulling the balls out right in front of these old
grands. They.
Stole my meatloaf meat recipe seven years ago.
But nobody putting ketchup on meatloaf before meat.
Dude, I love ketchup. I do.
I love meatloaf too. My God, my hey talk.
About Mama Bailog. Her meatloaf recipe is killing.
Mama Bailog, what do I got to doto get a pan?

(33:17):
Of that mom needs a pan. Let me get just just give me one
of the little pans that you put the banana bread in.
Mama Bailog, don't do it. He won't return your.
Tupper, no, you're not getting it back.
No, no, that's staying at the Korean household.
We got a sponsor this week, Pun.What do we got?
I'm going to read for him here real quick.
OK, I sent you a picture. I sent weird you got a there's a
Mercedes sitting in your driveway and I'm driving a Ford

(33:40):
Escape. I sent you and Lauren a picture
from last week. Last Saturday we went to the
social district in Saint Clair Shores.
You and Lauren got to come one time.
They block off the street food trucks.
You can walk around the streets with booze in your hand and they
have live music and it's great. And my buddy owns a store there.
They own Party Adventure. I think we've read from before.
Oh, we have and they put a. Sticker on their door.
They put our sticker on their door with a little bubble above
it that says check out this podcast.

(34:01):
I was like how free you guys arethe best?
Man, you're the best. So if you guys are having a
birthday party for your kids or any event they do balloon
deliveries, you can look them upon www.partyadventureusa.com.
Maybe I'll be using them for my daughter's graduation.
Hell yeah, you better, dude if you don't.
And hey, hey, pawn, tell them the podcast sent you.

(34:22):
Yeah. Hey, yeah, I was listening to.
It would make me happy that he would feel pressured to drive
his balloons from Saint Clair Shores.
To wind up, yeah, he's like, dude, I made $18.00 for a full.
Day of work pun. I enjoy the podcast.
It ain't happening dude. I'm not doing it all.
Right. It's list time, baby.
Let's do it. And this week's list is the

(34:44):
things that need to be done perfectly.
And I don't do a lot of things perfectly, but I I thought of
this memory. I always like to have a little
blurb at the beginning. You do tailgates perfectly.
Some things I am. You're really good.
You're really good at that, yeah.
And I thought about when I realized I'm not a
perfectionist. So I realized at a young age, my
brother and I would go around we, I wanted to rent video

(35:05):
games. So we'd like, hey, can we shovel
your snow for 10 bucks? And we got it, someone to accept
the job. And they were on a corner lot.
Oh, you screwed yourself. And I'm like.
It's like a $40 shovel. Yeah, I'm like 9 years old,
Yeah. It took you.
I just wanted to Mario three. Yeah, yeah.
It took us. You know what I did?
I just left my brother there. I was like, you know what?

(35:27):
I don't even want any of this money.
This is above my page. I'll play whatever video game
you rent. Yeah, I just left my brother
there and he did a wonderful joband I knew from that moment on I
was not going to be that. Perfectionist we talked my first
one is we talked a lot about this and that is I won't say
fighting when you're having a disagreement with the wife.
You have to try you have to be I'm fellows.

(35:51):
I'm not telling you to I'm not telling you to cower down and
then let her win every single time and and and bend the knee
always. But I am telling you if you are
right on something, you need to perfectly lay it in there.
You have you have to treat them with white gloves.
You gotta. Stay on that subject if you try
to tangent away and add on to it.

(36:13):
She's gonna catch you. Men in men argue vastly
different than men and women. Like if, all right, if if Andy
and I are having a disagreement and argument, eventually Andy
will go, hey, how stupid are you?
There's no way Poland could everbeat Germany in World War 2, no
matter what they tried to do. Warsaw wasn't getting done.

(36:35):
But when you're dealing with with with your spouse, your
significant other, you have to tread very lightly.
Yeah, you may win the battle, but at what cost?
OK, you might lose the. War there's always.
There's always a cost. There's always a cost, yes, And
even if you have the most bulletproof argument, like I
said, stay in the lane. Stay in the lane.
Stick with what's bulletproof, don't try to get too greedy.

(36:58):
No, no, just stick with. Prove your point.
There are times where, like, I realize that I'm right and she
knows that I'm right and she's not gonna come off of that.
And you just got to slide out stuff.
Just just slide out. Just ease out of the just you
know what? OK, babe.
All right. Stuff sometimes will like
vaporize me with like a one liner that I don't see coming.

(37:18):
Like I'm like, I'm gonna get herthis time, right?
I'm like, listen, stuff, the recycling bin is overflowing.
So like, I just don't understandwhy you put things on top of
things that are already overflowing.
She just comes back unexpected, takes a different tact with me
and goes, you know what, you should have taken it out sooner.
And I was like, Oh yeah, yeah. And just destroys which.

(37:39):
OK. So that's a great point because
they also do not have to abide by these rules of engagement.
They can nuke you, yes, And you're just like at any time.
You can be like and all guys know it.
You can be winning a, we're not gonna call him argument.
You can be winning a debate, a debate.
And you're like, I'm doing greathere.
But in the back of your mind, you're like, she could come out
and just destroy me at any moment now.

(38:00):
Yes, with something that I just simply did not.
See, so I think that you have toknow your lady and you have to
perfectly navigate. It'll be like these
disagreements. It's like crossing the street in
England. You gotta look both ways, look
both ways. The cars drive on the wrong side
of the street and could just take you down.
Yeah, you also have to decide before you get into a little
tiff or argument like, is this worth it?

(38:23):
Because you know that you could lose at any moment unexpectedly.
I I. Think about 26 times a day I go.
This one ain't worth it. Nope, not even.
Watermelon not worth it. I was at work and this guy that
worked for me was like just small talking and luncheon one
time he's like So what do you and your wife fight about?
Which is a weird question. Just come right out with.
Yeah, it's very weird. But I was like, nothing, yeah,

(38:44):
he's like you and your wife don't fight about anything.
And I was like, I think if we fought about a bunch of stuff
all the time, I wouldn't want tobe married necessarily.
Cause like, arguing is awful. Yes, Steph and I will snap each
other here and there, but we we simply do not argue about stuff.
I that was some of my reservations with Lauren.
I was like, you know, I don't seem like I annoy her.

(39:05):
She's not. I just, we just don't annoy each
other. We do not pick bicker and like,
I don't know, fighting is not normal.
Yeah. It's not something you should
do. All right, so first one on my
list, pawn. The reason that I think my uncle
sent this to me and it's so correct.
Mine are all over the map. Some of them are thinking
outside the box is what you haveto do perfectly is you eat

(39:29):
healthy. Do you like eggs?
I love eggs. Hard boiling eggs.
You know when you overcook them and you can't get the shell?
You're like banging on concrete.Oh my God, and you just ripped
the egg into shreds. So Steph Steph Steph hard boiled
Easter eggs for Easter this yearand I'm trying to eat when I'm
just tearing it to shreds in thesink and all I got is a yolk in

(39:49):
my. Hand, yeah, you got.
And I'm like, dude, did you overcook these eggs?
She was like, yeah, while you were golfing?
I was like, all right, all right, OK.
And a stick in the food topic pond.
How about cooking a steak? Yeah, like, you have to cook a
steak perfectly. So much so that I very rarely
buy steaks because I'm worried I'm just going to screw it up.
As high as your grill will go. 5minutes each side that's.

(40:12):
It and you just time it. That's a super high. 5 minutes.
No matter what the cut of meat. No matter what the well now
let's not overcomplicate it. 5 minutes each side high as a
roasting guy. And that cooks it to what
medium? Yeah, medium is about where it's
at. Occasionally it might trend the

(40:32):
medium rare depending on how thick it is, which is fun go.
Higher than medium. People who like dark steaks just
can't, can't help. Yeah, I need, I need a little
bit of pink. I do not want my steak.
Some listen, there are some people who are way more manly
than me. I don't want my steak mooing.
I don't want each bite like I'm gnawing on flesh.

(40:53):
That's disgusting. I need pink in my.
Yes, you had the it's. Media.
Is horrifying. Rare is awful to me.
Medium is perfection. It was a guy I worked with at
the Olive Garden. He was a cook there.
Tony Llama. The guy was hilarious.
His name's Tony Llamas. His name's Tony Llama.
He should be. Hilarious.
He used to tie a bag around his belt, under his, under his apron
and just put two meatballs in it.

(41:14):
And every time you want, every time he wanted something he
wasn't going to give you, he just lifted up his lifted up the
apron. But he would eat his, he would
make himself steaks like every shift.
Maybe not every shift. And I'm telling you, it was like
high grill, 5 seconds per side, just enough to make the skin
brown. But the middle is like eating
flesh. I got a hot take here.

(41:35):
I think that that starts off that is a pissing competition
that men do who can eat the rarest because, all right, there
is a certain point of rareness or raw that it loses its flavor
to me and it tastes like pure flesh.
Yeah, it does not become an enjoyable.

(41:56):
Taste eating the neck out of a wild animal.
Yes, it's like, OK, I get it, you're a caveman, bro.
You drink right? I know you you drink lager but.
Yeah, all right. Yeah.
You drink Bush like you know I. Get it?
Yeah, I think it's a pissing competition.
Sushi houses are like that too. You ever go to sushi with
someone that they're like, oh man, you get those roll?
Do you eat sushi? I do and I eat.
I eat the basic. I eat.

(42:18):
Yeah, the Sam. I like the Philly roll.
You're a California rolls. I eat.
What else are? Yeah.
Yeah, I eat the the dragon roll,the crunch roll, the crunch
roll, the fantastic go there with someone who's doing exactly
what you said with the steaks. I'm like, yeah, but have you
tried the sashimi? And I'm like.
No. Why would I?
Yeah, no. Just putting a lump of raw fish
in your mouth. It's disgusting.
Lauren is a bit of a sushi snob.Is she really?

(42:41):
She judges me because she's like, oh, you get the Philly
roll. I'm like, hey, listen.
I don't go down to the Philly roll pun.
I'm a little bit better. You're better.
Net, yeah. Yeah, nothing new.
I go sort of in the middle. But the sashimi, I'll eat it,
but it just to me it's less flavorful.
What's what? What is the This one makes me
feel like I'm not a basic bitch and it's still a basic bitch.

(43:04):
The Alaska role, it's like the most like you can get them at
Kroger. Yeah, you know.
Like what's the one with cream cheese in it?
Yeah, the one. Yes, yes, I'll take that
cucumber. You know why?
Because I don't want to impress you with my palate.
I just want to eat good food andI like those things.
I don't care if you eat a raw steak or, you know, the coolest

(43:25):
shit at a sushi sushi restaurant.
I I still eat hot and ready. What?
Hell yeah. What?
What? How old were you when you
started eating sushi? In my late 20s.
Yeah, yeah, same. So my my first date was
Stephanie. Also your snakes moving dude,
get that thing in order. Things awesome, slashy.

(43:46):
That's 'cause I got to feed him while he's hungry.
Oh, perfect. And it's springtime.
Oh, perfect. So he's looking for.
He's hungry. Oh God.
He's like, anybody out here wanta mate?
What were you saying? Steph and I first date she I was
like, we can go wherever you want.
She's like, let's go to a sushi house.
Ronin Sushi in Royal Oak and I and I'd never had sushi before.
So you're. Like, oh.
Sure. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sounds good. So I just let her order for me.
And I was like, Laura, no matterwhat, pretend you just you

(44:09):
shovel this. No, I'm OK with acting like a
man in that scenario. Of course, if she ordered you a
a raw steak, you're like, I loveit.
Fantastic. Yes, All right.
What else you got? All right, so because I'm a
truck driver, I feel like I haveto anything that is attached to
a truck, whether it's a boat, a camper, a trailer, I have.

(44:29):
To where this one's going. I have to back it in perfect
every time, no mistakes because the the eyes are on me.
Like that's unprofessional. You drive big stuff, huh?
But you can't do a little trailer.
Yeah, you drive those big trucks, but your your lawn has a
tire track down. The side.
So if I'm like hauling a boat ora camper and whatever it is that

(44:49):
I'm hauling, it must be done with two perfection and there is
no margin for error. That's a really good one.
You know I couldn't back a trailer and if I tried.
Well, you can. I could drive something back
backwards. I might be able to figure out if
I had like unlimited time, yeah,But if I was like in a line of
people waiting for me to dock toload.
I still occasionally get nervous.

(45:11):
The the trick is though, in, in bigger things like whether it's
tankers or whatever kind of semi, the bigger it is, the more
margin of of error you have. It takes longer to turn those
small tiny trails. A boat turns instantly.
Just you could breathe on the steering wheel and it'll veer
off. Those I've seen some people
messing those up, the boat launches.
My buddy Steve O owns his own company, landscaping company.

(45:33):
And he I borrowed his trailer when we moved from our first
house to the second house. And I was like, I can't, Steve,
I cannot back this thing in the driveway.
And he's like, I'll move. He's, you know, then you get,
then you get assaulted. Yeah.
But that is a cool feeling, I'm not going to lie, when people
can't back things into like really tight or difficult spots.
Let Papa do this. Excuse me, Daddy.

(45:54):
Excuse. Me here, young lady.
Yes, yes. All right.
So for my next one, I think I'm through the food categories,
sort of, I guess. How about trapeze?
Trapeze if you're a trap, If you're a trapeze in the circus.
Pun Listen, you're off by an inch.

(46:16):
Oh my God, death. Oh my God, that caught me off
the I thought a trapeze while you were saying trapeze.
My brain instantly went to an like them slipping right just.
Trapeze you have to do perfectlyand I'll stick with a couple
kind of in the same type of category.
All right, let's go. Jumping off high dives at our

(46:38):
age. Oh, God.
Have you done this recently? No, there's one.
There's one in our pool, and my son wants to go off it all the
time. And I'm a low dive type of a
guy. Yeah, every once in a while I'm
like, you know what? I'm gonna be the adventurous.
Father that's also the same amount of pressure as backing in
a trailer while people are watching on the high dive.
That's pressure packed. It doesn't look high until
you're standing up there. Yeah.
And then I'm telling you, if youhit the water at our age a

(47:00):
little bit incorrectly from up there, you're injured for like a
week. Yeah, and you're like, why can't
I move my right hip? I what you got?
All right, so I don't do this often, but I think you have to.
Making a bed needs to be done to.
I don't do it often, but if I were to make a bed right now,
you'd swear I spent 30 years in the Marine Corps.

(47:21):
I'm I. You can do it right.
I need beds to be perfect. I'm learning how to do it.
I'm lucky I don't know because Ihad a mom who would beat me if I
did. She would just.
Put up Mama Crane, but. Lauren luckily every morning she
is like die hard with and she's good at it.
Every morning she makes the bed.Steph makes the bed like it's

(47:42):
art. I feel like I live in a hotel
when she makes. It that's how Lauren is.
I'm like, should I sleep? They do weird.
It's crazy. It's it's crazy.
Should I sleep in the guest bedroom tonight because I don't
want to mess this up? Yeah.
And you see that bed right there?
Yep, that's how I make. That's how you make it.
That's how. That's how my son makes his bed.
You can't see any of the mattress it's made.
Yep. Yeah, I don't I don't like I
said, I'm I'm blessed enough to not have to make the bed very

(48:04):
often because you do you go fullon OC.
But when I do I don't I if if there is one ripple, if there is
one misplaced anything, I'm. Kind of like that actually.
It's not on my list but with ironing I iron shirts for like
long sleeve shirts for work or for weddings.
Yeah. You want that crease to be
perfect. Oh.
Dude, it has to be perfect down the arms.

(48:25):
I'm perfect on the when I iron the shoulders and then a wrinkle
creates or. There's yeah, order that.
Spills onto it. Yeah, dude, I am like obsessed.
What about vac? What about the strips in your
carpet? When you vacuum, you know the
what are they called? Not the streaks, but I guess
they are streaks. Streaks, yeah.
I want them to be precise. When I was watching my son

(48:45):
vacuum once and he was just going every which way I was just
like I gotta. I'm gonna lose my body.
I can't watch them. This was one of my lists since
we're talking about it, but stripes in the grass?
Oh yeah, perfect. If they're if they're veered I
will recut the grass at an angleand make them look.
I cut the grass at an. Angle do you I?

(49:06):
I like to switch only because your tires will eventually
leave, like if you if you stripeit the same way every week.
I feel like it. It's not good for the grass.
You'll appreciate this one as a truck driver.
And my sister, my younger sister, will appreciate this one
from when we were driving to Maryland.
So we're driving to Maryland together and we get into Western
Pennsylvania, like the Appalachian territory and you're

(49:28):
in those high up roads and the roads are a little bit tight.
There's always construction through there.
And I said you got to be, you got to drive perfectly when
you're in between construction and another car.
The fake construction wall or the cement construction walls
that they put like on the lane markers and an 18 wheel semi
right next to you on the right. And I was just sitting there

(49:48):
screaming like driving by him. And I'm like, it's like a two
game parlay. He's got to play his game
correctly. I got to play my game correctly.
That's how we lose that is So whenever I'm in the car with the
kids or Lauren, they always freak out when we're we're in a
tight space next to a semi and Igo, listen, we were there's two
of us in this. If I do my job wrong or he does
his job wrong, we're getting hurt.

(50:10):
But I'm going to put faith and I'm doing my job.
You got to put faith in the other person scared.
And you got to do it perfectly. I'm very used to it, not 'cause
I'm usually the semi. I don't.
So are semis very cognizant of when people are passing them in
tight areas? Or oh, they're very they notice
every. Unless you have, you'd have some
straight up morons just like anyother.
Because some people are like, don't like to drive next to

(50:32):
semis at all. I'm not.
Necessarily, that guy knows where you are.
But when the roads are, you knowwhat I'm talking about when they
put those construction walls like almost in your lane and I'm
like this, I don't not have enough room through this area.
You do. You gotta do it.
Perfectly. You gotta do it perfectly.
Yep. Oh, you're dead.
You're not just crashing, you'refalling down the Appalachian
Mountain. My next one would be dead

(50:52):
lifting I think. I got something.
Similar, I think risk versus themargin for injury is very, very
high. It it you almost have your form
all it needs to be like anybody who deadlifts almost universally
does the same exact form. It has to be done perfect.

(51:13):
It has to be done perfect. It's the one exercise that I
don't do at the gym that I wish I did.
Yeah, because I've injured myself so many times doing it.
I'll be doing it for like monthsin a row and I'm like, oh, I
finally am strong enough and I got my form down and then boom,
you lift wrong. One time.
One time dude I fell onto the straight bar with both knees,
smashed it because my back was like it felt like someone shot

(51:34):
me in the back. Like.
I like, really hurt myself one time.
I have a gym one too, I said. Picking up dumbbells off the
rack at our age. Yeah, if I'm picking up and
twisting at the same time. I feel like that was that
anyway, I can't. Really.
Move for a week. Dude, I was just doing shrugs
this morning with the Smith machine.
Yeah, over here. And I just, I, I realized like I

(51:57):
my form is even correct when popping it off the Smith machine
to lift it up. Yeah, any kind of weight.
I feel like you almost need to be perfect.
You have, because you're gonna get hurt bad.
Posture is so important. Actually, it's funny because we
did the gym guy do's and don'ts.Yeah, long, long time ago.
And I, I'm never tempted to talkto girls at the gym because I'm
married and because you feel like a scumbag.

(52:18):
The one person I feel like talking to is like if there's
young guys there or there's thisold guy and they're doing bad
form. I know, I always think that.
It like kills me to not say it. There's this this guy, this old
man that works out at my gym andhe doesn't lift a ton on the on
the flat bench, but he lifts hishead off the bench and like is
moving it around while he's pushing.
I'm like dude, you're going to hurt your your neck and spine so
badly. I my brain battles between like,

(52:40):
hey, you should help that guy. And then it goes, oh, that guy's
going to think you're a know it all and tell you to.
Piss off. Exactly.
So I just, you know what I do? I just don't say anything to
anybody. I know, but if he's looking
around like if there if there's some signs I I will go up to
him. But no, I keep them.
We've been living here for coming up on two years.
Like I guess we're at like 20 months right now.

(53:02):
I'm finally in the what's up Mangang at the gym I go to.
I'm finally the one of the guys that people recognize.
They're like, hey, what's up, man?
Nice. I'm like, hey, what is up man?
What is up, brother? What is happening?
What's your next things you got to do perfectly and I could
never have gone to this field pond is you know what you got to
do perfectly is surgery. Oh my God.

(53:23):
Like imagine being a surgeon. I was watching someone, they
said they they practice with those instruments doing what's
it called, origami with the paper fold.
And this guy's like making origami things with like
utensils. And I'm like, Nope, wasn't my
calling. There's no way.
You know, when I used to live onmy own and return, I haven't
returned bottles in a long time.I just recycle them.

(53:44):
It's disgusting. As soon as my hands got nasty at
that bottle of return, somethingon my face would itch.
That'd be me in. Surgery, always.
That'd be me in surgery. As soon as I'm clean I'd be like
scalpel and can you scratch my nose?
Lauren last night, going off that Lauren, I fell asleep on
the couch. We were watching something and I
dozed off and she yelped and I went what the hell?

(54:04):
And she's like a spider just crawled out of our onto my arm.
And as soon as she said that every like I thought I had 1000
spiders on me. I was like, I feel it.
It's on me. Oh my God.
So now I have to spray. Of course, because there's

(54:25):
there's you do not want to kill all.
We already talked about this. I think we don't want to kill
the spiders are great to have inyour.
House I love spiders, but. As long as you don't see them.
That would mind after you for the rest of the night.
Yeah, I got up this morning and usually I'll like, get some
water and I'll sit down on the couch for a minute and just
like, wake up. And I didn't even want to sit on
the couch this morning. I was like, I ain't sprayed yet.

(54:47):
There's that flock of spiders somewhere.
Now that you live with a female,you ever catch like a you're
getting ready in the morning or putting on clothes at night to
go into bed and you feel something on your face and you
think it's a bug? Oh, it's her hair.
Yeah, but it's one of her hairs that's like dangling and
tickling you on the face or neckand you.
And from then on, even though you I figure out that it's a

(55:09):
hair, I'm still like, you're still itchy, but there's
something on me. There's something on me right
now. I'm like scared of no bugs, but
when they sneak up on you. So that's.
A different story. Yeah, I'm not scared of bugs
either. Except when you're if you're
sleeping and you wake up and something's crawling, right?
Not, not cool. You got anymore?
Oh, this, this is how you know, I'm oh, you're going to have to
clip, clip that out. I I put the one thing I think

(55:33):
you have to do perfectly is the height of your ankle.
Sock verse ankle showing versus shoe versus shoe.
Absolutely. It's a pain.
Because you might, you're like, you want a no show look, but if
they look long enough, they can still see the socks.
So you don't, so you don't look like a scumbag and like, is this

(55:58):
guy sockless? And then you're like, Oh no,
he's got socks. He's or you have to make them
both the same. Those they have to be the same.
How many times I've gone to the gym and I realized one of my 2
no shows is too high? You're.
You're like, I take my shoe backoff and I fix it.
Everybody here thinks I'm a scumbag.
I'm a. Sly, that one is so good.
Yeah. Oh my God.

(56:19):
How about? You should.
You can edit that to the first one, right?
Right. That was a good one.
How about cheerleading when you're the guy?
Ohh yeah, yeah, you. Ever seen those competitions
with? Hands keep your head up too
long. You gotta put your eyes down.
You don't want to be a creep. I was thinking I don't want
catch your put your head down stop staring.

(56:42):
Well also. Just the fact you're throwing
human. Bodies.
Oh yeah, that's like you have tobe.
So In Sync and choreographed, those girls are.
Dead. It's not that you're a hormone.
It's not that you're an age boy.You're 19, flipping little
cheerleaders in the air. Holding them in their delicate
region? How about driving a boat in the

(57:04):
Everglades? You ever done the Everglades?
No, I've not those fan boats, no.
Yeah, I got onto one of those for a tour and I was like,
excuse me, my seat belt doesn't seem to be here.
And they're like, there's no seat belt.
There's no I'm like, but there'salligators.
Yeah, if you fall, you die. Yeah, so you got to drive that
boat really carefully. Did you see that video?
There's a recent bungee jumping thing and her freaking cord

(57:26):
snap. She lives her cord snaps.
Except there's it's an alligator.
In fact, you, you had me, dude, bungee jump over the Nile River.
Yeah, just in case. Final Destination.
What? Yeah, that's insane, dude.
There's no that's something you'd have to do perfectly.
There's no. Would you ever bungee jump?
No, I would skydive far. Would you?

(57:48):
I don't think I would do either.I would not.
But now at this ripe old age where I've broken my wrist
playing basketball, I don't knowif I should skydive.
I don't know if I should bungee jump.
But yeah, no, I would skydive for sure.
Well, when you skydive pun, I hope that it's a cute guy that's
got you strapped in in front of him.
My breathing on your neck, you'dbe like.
No, what? I'm comfortable enough, it

(58:11):
wouldn't bother me at all. I'd probably hold his moves
just. His moves.
My daughter said she wanted to when she turned 18, which would
be in August. So maybe you would go with her
wrong daughter. That'll be in October.
Wrong daughter, Daddy, somethingout of the year.
Remember your kids birthday? Yeah, last one I you got any
more? No.
Last one I got on my list and this is you know, we got to be

(58:34):
delicate with this one pun checking out a girl in.
Public. Nope.
Do not do it. Don't do it.
So if you're alone and you're checking out a girl in public,
you got to make sure that you don't look like a creeper,
right? Guys all have their ways that
they do it at the gym. You look in a mirror here, you
look in a mirror there, with angles.
Yes, for all you single fellows who are still checking out

(58:54):
ladies. That's right, not us, not us.
There. There is an art to it where it's
you subtle perfectly. Don't be a.
The line, the line between like them not noticing versus oh,
that's that's kind of I'm flattered that that guy checked
me out for a second. I think I kind of checked me out
to total creeper like should be out of.

(59:16):
Very thin. Very thin.
You know why? Because you want.
You want to. If I were single, if if you're
checking a gal out, it should make her think was he checking
me out or was he just looking myway?
It should be a very fine line then.
She starts looking over to see if.
She's working. Next thing you know, you got
babies. You're married now you're paying

(59:37):
alimony. And on top of checking a girl in
public, even though you just said it, you just qualified it
many times, especially when yourspouse is around, because now
you got to make sure that two women don't see you.
Doing it, Yeah. I mean, do not listen to Andy if
you're you should not be checking other gals out when
you're and if you ever wear sunglasses, That's right.

(01:00:01):
Get into our goodbye section. We did get a country pond.
Guests. Bolivia.
No, no no. Starts with an N.
Nigeria, Nicaragua. I think we actually have
Nigeria. Do we?
I think I made a blow dart joke about an insensitive blow dart
joke. Norway, Norway is correct.
We have a listener in Oslo, Norway and I thought pun's not

(01:00:24):
going to know any jokes about Norway.
Any quick puns about Norway? I I wish you'd have text me
this. So I looked up a couple.
If you'd have just, if you'd have just simply said find
something funny on Norway. That's right.
And then you hit me with this atthe end because it would have
slipped my mind. There you go.
So just a couple of facts about Norway.

(01:00:45):
They are. I was like, what's Norway famous
for? Things like the Northern Lights,
mounts, forest, lakes and fajards.
I found that in Norway, when you're speaking Norwegian, don't
they speak? Is it Norwegian?
Is it dodge? God, Americans are so stupid
with geography. Is it Norwegian?
What are they speaking Mexican? Mexican.

(01:01:07):
I thought that was a cruise line.
Right, so they often have an F and AJ next to each other.
So they're famous for their fajords, which, hey, if you're
the listener in. Northern are those suspenders.
The leader is the wrong country bro.
And fun fact, the sun does not set in the summertime in Norway.
Really. Isn't Norway beautiful?

(01:01:28):
I think so. They have fajords everywhere.
I could go there 'cause I got a couple of eye masks from Amazon
so I could sleep. If the sun never could you even
imagine living somewhere or being somewhere the sun never
went down? Yeah.
It'd be awesome. It would be awesome.
Imagine going to Vegas and the sun doesn't go down.
Listen, here's the thing. I can fall asleep despite any
conditions on earth so the sun being out wouldn't wouldn't make

(01:01:50):
a dent in my sleeping and also you'd just be happy and vibrant
all the time. Yeah, I'm actually also you get
to an age eventually where like if someone were to say pun, lay
down sideways in your truck and go to sleep, you could sleep
instantly. I thought the the kids in Lauren
like it's a constant running joke where they like take bats.
As soon as I hit the couch and they go, the countdown has

(01:02:12):
begun. It's at the countdown.
Put out World War 2IN color and pun is out.
I can. I can fall asleep, I'm telling
you within. In fact, yesterday we got home
after the track meet. We went out to eat, had a couple
cocktails, lay on the couch. Lauren was like unwinding and

(01:02:33):
talking to me like a normal couple does, and I knew halfway
through her first sentence. That you were not.
I was gonna make it and I openedmy eyes and she was watching
Sons and her and. You're like, how long have been
out? She doesn't even answer your
question. She just paused the episode so
you can see she's at the 25 minute.
Model also I fall asleep so frequently at night because I

(01:02:57):
get up so early and I think she understands that.
But we fall asleep so frequentlythat she now watches.
Like we started Sons of Anarchy over and she's on season 3.
I haven't watched one since episode 1 of season 1.
Episode 3 of Season 1. Do you want me to say something
about Vegas or should we just give it a send off?
Vegas. So, you know, our phones listen

(01:03:18):
to us and I'm on all these Las Vegas pages and feeds.
You know, there's this guy namedVegas Matt that I'm like
obsessively following him and all these other guys that make
these huge bets. Like they'll be like, this is a
$5000 hand of blackjack and theyjust filmed.
You say Vegas, Matt. Vegas, Matt.
I feel like I know him, yeah. You would know him if I showed
you who he is. So Vegas is all over my feeds

(01:03:39):
and I've seen the fun. The coolest degenerate gambling
things I could ever even think of recently.
Tell me which one's your favorite out of these three that
I saw. OK, I saw a meme that said
imagine if gambling hotlines were offering a prize for the
100th caller. Oh my God, that's how.
That's so good, how about this one?
Today I saw rims on a car that were a roulette wheel.

(01:04:01):
So imagine you and your boy are going to the bar.
You. Stop at a red light.
Open the door to see who wins. Oh my God.
It's 00. Nobody wins.
I'd like in the hotline over theroulette though.
The last one I saw was it was, Ithink it was somewhere in
France. They had the panels on the
baggage claim at the airport were roulette numbers so that
when your suitcase falls. Onto it, do you understand the

(01:04:24):
amount of money would be lost? Dude like you that's your send
off for your guys trip on Vegas.It's like the roulette wheel
luggage. So good, dude.
I wouldn't even. I'd gamble on my own luggage and
then I'd be like a bookie out front for everybody else's.
Luggage. Yeah, I'd be like, all right,
who's got 8? Who's got 8I upon?
What are we doing next week? I jotted down a bunch of ideas

(01:04:46):
here, and as usual, I'll read them to you and clip them all
out except for the one you want.Why are we such slobs?
The Sears Robot catalog, 1991. That's a Christmas episode.
We're gonna do a draft special on that one.
Taking GI Joe at the 101. I upon.
We gotta get out here, but what are we doing next?
Week, I'm gonna say adulting pros and cons.
Adulting pros and cons for next week.

(01:05:07):
By the way, I meant to say shoutout earlier to Jackie for in the
last podcast I said we need to get our Spotify five stars over
into triple digits. I misspoke and said double
digits. We need to get into triple
digits. She she rallied your family dude
on your thread and now we're at one O 2.
So thank you, Jackie. That's all I got.
Remember, Thank you Jackie getting us to one O 2, but don't

(01:05:28):
stop the five stars, hey? How about this?
Don't stop believing. Stuff Hey, Seth, hey, we only
have 59 ratings on Apple podcasts, so guys, you only need
41 more. So remember to like subscribe to
the podcast. All right, Pun, that's all.
I got what you got.