Ep.73 - Adulting Pros & Cons - Conversational Humor - An Improv Comedy Hour

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I freaking love our podcast. I'm so hungry right now.
I assumed his name was Darth Virgin.
Come on, you're talking dirty tome right now.
She's like, what do you got in your mouth?
And I got a fruit by the foot, hanging halfway down to my life.
I like to eat my calories, not drink them.

(00:24):
All right, hello, hello, and welcome back to episode 73 of
Conversation of Humor with Pawn and Balrog.
This is Pawn across from me I guess, and I'm Balrog as you
know. Do you know I've been I I
ordered the Diary of Anne Frank.OK, this is how bad I'm
rereading the Diary of Anne Frank.
My World War 2 rabbit hole has been is it been two months?

(00:44):
It's out of control. It's out of control.
I one of the ladies at work Tuesday goes, hey, you can't
keep walking in here with Nazi documentaries on your phone.
You gotta stop. You gotta stop.
But they're selling. I love it.
We should do an episode on that.The best rabbit holes to go
into. But this one I want out of it

(01:06):
'cause I can't do it around anybody 'cause then they think
I'm a Nazi. Lover, right, right, right.
Yeah, they think I'm like, I'm like, no, I can't stop reading
and listening to. You, you're like my great, great
great grandpa Wolf. Wolfgang Crane used to work at
Auschwitz. No, we can't even make jokes
about that. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, World War 2 is a big. It's a big, it's a giant, giant

(01:26):
rabbit hole. And then they it just leads into
other ones and it's just do. You remember when there was that
thing going on the Internet thatwas like, how many minutes of a
day or whatever do guys spend thinking about the fall of Rome?
Yes, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, for me, it's not that.
It's World War 2. It's World War 2I.
Think like the world started at World War 2.
Pre World War 2 is like ancient history.
Yeah, World War. Two, I've also read a lot of

(01:47):
books on World War Two. Yeah, Flags of Our Fathers is
like one of the best books I've ever read.
I am. I'm in.
You know what? I'm not even in the cool part
anymore. I'm in the morbid part.
Whoa, dude, I'm in the like, youknow, there can be some manly
aspects. Like, oh, go ahead, no.
This dude flew this mission or these these soldiers did this.
Were those like a little bit of a cool aspect to it?

(02:09):
I'm in the like, I'm looking at color photos from of the worst
things you can see because as a we've, I think we've mentioned
this before, but your childhood brain cannot understand the
atrocities that happened in World War 2.
My adult brain can't. Handle it.
It is mind blowingly crazy if you revisit World War 2 as an

(02:32):
adult, if you haven't already done that.
But to go down the concentrationcamp rabbit hole, it is one of
the worst, most awful things youcan possibly do.
And I don't think we we, we do it as as teenagers and it's not
really a fact. It's not a fact.
You just don't when you learn itin school.
It's just nothing you learn. I I would have never the 06

(02:53):
million people die. You don't.
You're just like, oh, OK, Those aren't even real people.
Right. Did you ever see the YouTube
thing with the bar graphs of howmany people from each country
died? Maybe years and it's amazing.
Insane. Dude, yeah, it's the.
Eastern front between the Soviets and Germany was insane.
They just. Well, and also for the Soviet
thing, Stalin was already killing 50 million people.

(03:14):
I. Don't know why I'm laughing.
I'm laughing because of what we're talking about right now in
a comedy podcast. Yeah, it's.
The only good part about World War 2 that I can remember
learning about or seeing online is the picture of that one dude
that woke up in like Hitler's bed the morning after he died.
No, I didn't. You never saw the picture they
broke into his wine cellar like the day the war was over.
No. You mean like the eagle's nest?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(03:35):
The dude in the eagle's nest andhe's like, woke up with a
hangover. It looks like you got hit the
face with a frying pan the nightbefore.
They're like the worst hangoversof their life.
There's really cool. Imagine being that dude you
drank Adolf Hitler's wine. Yeah, that's right.
There's really cool carving still.
There's some videos of people exploring Eagle's Nest.
Like you can go do tours now, but there's like World War 2 the
the soldiers would be like, you know, Brian Smith 1945 were

(03:59):
right, like they etched in doorsand stuff all over Hitler's
layer is our American troops names.
Hell yeah, dude. It's pretty sweet.
Ohh, you know that one of the craziest rabbit holes I'm going
down is like you remember Nazi hunters from was it Discovery
Channel or I did not. They were finding these dudes in
in the 80s. Dude I I just read a book called

(04:21):
Beneath the Crimson Sky I think.What's that about?
About an Italian guy, he was a driver for one of the generals
in the Nazi army and a spy. But after the war ended, no one
knew that he was a spy, so he was like persecuted by the
Italians for being he was a sympathizer.
And he couldn't prove he was and.

(04:42):
He couldn't prove that he was a spy the whole time.
I used to have nightmares about that.
That Pinot Lelo, look him up. I used to have nightmares as a
kid when I was like a teenager because I used to always watch
all them cop shows and action movies and I used to have a
nightmare where I would be an undercover cop but I couldn't
prove I was an undercover cop. When was the last time you had
this dream? Oh God, a week and a half ago.

(05:04):
Just now, no, probably 15 or 16,but it's like one of the ones
where you're running and you can't run fast enough.
That used to be my nightmare wasI was a cop, but I couldn't
prove I was a cop. And also probably because I was
like a 15 year old fat kid. Like no dude, you're not a cop
at all. At all.
You don't look like a cop. At all.
Not at all. You got a FUBU shirt on?

(05:27):
You are so much FUBU. Probably today is Thursday, May
the 29th of 2025, and we're going to be talking about
adulting pros and cons. The number one, Topanga should
be going down rabbit holes, that's apparently.
We're already 8 minutes in the podcast and all we talked about
is World War 2. I can say upon confidently that

(05:49):
I sometimes still do not feel like an adult.
No, no, I don't think I I hope Inever fully feel like an adult.
The. Difference in age between my
daughter and me is the same as between me and my dad.
Oh wow. So I always think like when I.
Didn't even think about that. Why would you say that?
Why would you bring that? Up.
The reason I bring it up is because I have these thoughts.
These are like prevailing thoughts of mine frequently that

(06:11):
are like when I was, she's goingto be a senior next year and I
was like when I was going to be a senior, my dad was my age.
I I feel way younger than my dadat that age.
I think that's why I constantly make jokes, because he.
Was still rocking the Nutters and the Mustache Bro at that
time. Yeah.
Those dudes were awesome though.Hell, yeah.
I I think that's why I'm always joking.

(06:33):
Even in serious, like even at work, even in.
I mean, I can be serious for a period of time, but the moment
there is a pause or a lapse and it allows for some comedy, yeah,
I will slip. Double Dutch in.
There I will make sure because Idon't ever want to.
Like, I don't want to leave a room feeling like a grandpa.
Yeah, like we're still having fun here.
What are we doing? Like we're all pretending we're

(06:54):
not adults. How come we can't just joke
about, yeah, what are our parents?
Generation was so much more serious and so much more mature
than we are. Yes, yeah, they died a lot
sooner and they looked a lot worse than we did.
They were. Angry.
You can find us everywhere podcast may be found.
Make sure to click the notification bell.
As you know, we're not recordingevery week.
It's summertime. We're probably not going to even

(07:16):
come close to recording every week because it's summertime.
Yeah, and that will let you knowwhen we do drop a podcast and
make sure to leave us a five star rating.
We actually got 3 new 3 new Spotify subscribers and two
additional 5 stars last week, I told.
I think you should leave us a one star.
Yeah, go ahead and leave us A1. Garbage.
No new countries. No, what's up with that?

(07:38):
I did not text upon any countries.
Spoiler alert, we have no new countries even though we're
bullshit. Pun wants to go home already
into goodbyes. Yeah, alright, get into.
Goodbye. See you later.
I got like 19 documentaries I need to wash.
Yeah, on the 3rd Reich. Actually, Oh my God.
Don't. Don't even.
Go. Don't.
What was that awful general's name?

(07:59):
Heinrich Himmler. Heinrich Himmler?
Yeah. I shouldn't know that on the top
of my who are you talking about?Adolf Eichmann?
Heinrich Himmler, what are you talking?
About if you haven't yet, go back and listen to episode 72 on
the things that need to be done perfectly.
I got to say, my favorite part of that whole episode was when
you asked me when's the last time I thought about Alf.

(08:23):
And then you come up with a glance.
You don't know the truth. You're like dude.
I'm watching it currently. Four weeks ago.
Yeah, yeah, Heinrich Hemler, what a pull.
Well, I used to work with a guy that just like.
Dude that the eyes look like a total weasel.
That's the worst part about it is they all were a bunch of.
I mean when you go back and lookand also they were.
All a bunch of. I don't think people realize how

(08:45):
much footage there really is actual real footage of the stuff
they're they all do not look like super specimen soldiers.
Like they sell you this idea that you know that Hitler.
'S yeah, that they're faction. Blonde hair, blue, white, all
look like Ivan Drago. Yeah, you think they all look

(09:05):
like Dolph Lundgren? And really, they look like the
nerd from Road Trip. They look, yes, that's 100%
true. I get into our appetizer section
so I had a week last week we so I sent you pictures of Mike
ankle. Yep.
Dude. I swear, my number one goal
every week of basketball. We talk about this a lot.
I do it to have fun, stay in shape.

(09:27):
I enjoy playing basketball. My number one goal every week is
do not get injured. I remember when you broke your
wrist, I was looking at you and I was like, I feel bad for you,
but pun why are you going so hard?
Dude, just chill. And I, I broke my own rule.
I try. I said I will not jump into
places. There's a lot of legs and I I
tried to block a guy from behindlanding on his leg and just came

(09:47):
down sideways. It hurts so.
Bad. Was it instant?
Instant. You knew?
Yeah. I knew it hurt.
It was like sharp pain. I couldn't put any pressure.
Did you Yelp like a man? I just kind of rolled over onto
my stomach and slapped the ground.
It was like gasping for air. It hurt.
That's a manly way to take it. I tend to Yelp.
All I can say myself, I can say is I had been lying to Steph for

(10:09):
at least half a week now. I tell her I still can't walk,
so she gets me everything. That's right.
Babe, could you give me a popsicle?
Yeah, I'm not going to age very well upon or am I?
Or are you? Because look at this little
ditty. I got her here.
I got me a walking cane here. Oh my God.
I thought I wasn't going to age well until Steph.
We were we were at dinner and she goes, hey, hey, bud, why

(10:30):
don't you go ahead and turn on the lights for dinner.
And I was like, I was like, I got this.
Also for those who can't see, which is everyone but me, he
just reached his cane out and turned the light on.
He just extended. His game, I was like, I'm going
to be so awesome when I'm older.I'm going to be the old man with
the. Cake.
Oh, I'm going day drinking tomorrow.
Nice. In case anybody cares.
Nice. Oh yeah, that's why we're

(10:51):
recording on a Thursday. It's Lauren's birthday.
Happy. Birthday Lauren.
Neither one of us are working her. 1st birthday as a pod
member. As a we are both riding bikes
downtown Wyandotte. We're going to hit bar hop on
bikes during the day and by the time you guys, you losers, get
off work, we're going to be blackout drunk in a Bush

(11:12):
somewhere. You'll never know where we're
at. Well, I'm I have summer hours.
I'm off at 3:00. OK, right, well, I'm hoping to
be puking by then. So I was going to say I am might
be at my cousin of the pods in Woodhaven tomorrow evening so I
could swing through wind out on the way but it sounds.
Like if you rolled up on a bike in wood.
All of a sudden I'm on electric scoop.

(11:37):
Speaking of that, I heard you'regoing on a cruise.
I hate you so much so I'm so bummed that my my son left the
cat out of the bag. But I have this hidden here
because I got some Steph and I got something to mail yesterday.
Oh I love this so much. It was addressed with the

(12:00):
rainbow envelope to Zandy Ball Rag, special delivery to Zandi
Ballrag and on the front there is a rainbow flag boat and it
says all aboard the Semen conquest.
Your trip has been booked. See you soon.
Sexy world famous bottomless mimosas and bottomless men.

(12:23):
And I look at Steph and I'm like, what is this?
So then I read it was to Zandi Ballrag and I'm like, OK, this
has to be somebody from the podcast that sent it.
The only disappointing thing is upon if this wouldn't have been
you, you would be suffocating right now.
Like a banister sent this, you'dbe dying.
I open this thing up and there are just men Speedos all the

(12:44):
way. This is the best 995 I ever
spend my life. Oh my God.
So yeah, I'm booked on the Semenconquest to sail the Atlantic.
Also pros and cons of being an adult pro.
You can spend 995 and book an all inclusive gay cruise for
your friend. And yeah, we did use the QR code

(13:05):
here, and it does say you've officially been pranked.
That's the greatest thing I've ever seen.
So did you send that from your cruise?
No, I sent that. I seen a reel from TikTok from
like TikTok and it was like, youwant to prank your friends?
That's the great. And I was like, yeah, for 995,
you bet your ass out. So, so I'll take pictures of
this and I'll put it onto our Instagram page.
I did that maybe two or three weeks ago and I had forgotten

(13:27):
about it. And then I got an e-mail.
When was it out for delivery? Yesterday, Yesterday.
And then I totally forgot till Iwalked in the house because
that's how busy I've been that like.
So my son was like. Pawn, did you send us something?
A ball rag. I would have never, ever
remembered that I did that untilthe cruise.
You'd have hit me off guard. You'd have died.
Oh my gosh, it looks like a an itinerary for a a full cruise.

(13:51):
Like it? Actually does total it like has
a breakdown, Yeah. Cost breakdown.
Yeah, total fare $1049 which is relatively cheap is it's pretty
cheap for 1049 bucks. I would, I would.
Easily. And that's why you're going.
I would. That's why you're going.
Hey but it looks at me drinks will be free all week.
Dude and 995 is a steal. I would have paid 1995 to send
you that. Yeah, those people could be

(14:12):
making way more money than they're making right now.
Yeah, it's it's a weird world welive in.
For no money you can send the coolest.
Stuff. Isn't that the funny?
What was our episode a couple weeks ago?
The things, oh, the things that don't piss us off when I said
nothing pisses you off when you're drinking.
No, like if you're cocktailing, you'd spend $40 to send that
thing. To me like 100%.
If you and Laura were riding bikes through downtown

(14:32):
Wyandotte. And some dude was like, hey, I
handcrafted an itinerary. 50 bucks. 50 bucks, I bet you damn
it do. It you'd be like all I got are
20s. Will you take 60?
Pun only knows Deutsche March right now.
That's World War 2. Yep, Yep.
Do you know at one? All right, so before.
Here we go. Before World War 2 kicked off,

(14:55):
when Hitler was starting to takepower.
Five hours later, pun. You want to say something funny
for a chance? I'm trying man.
I just keep thinking about Anne and I hope she lives.
I got a funny Aunt Frank story, Mama Balog.
You might want to cover yours. So I got a new Golf bag probably
10 years ago. And I used to have like an old
set of clubs that I like used when I was in high school and

(15:16):
stuff. And so I get the clubs out of
the old bag, put them in the newbag, and I start dumping
everything out. And out of the bottom of the
golf bag comes a Playboy magazine and paperback version
of The Diary of Anne Frank. I was like, what do you say
this? Stuff was I into back in high
school, you know, I could have gone to the house that Anne

(15:41):
Frank was hiding in. It's in Amsterdam.
What was her name? Instead, I went to the red light
district. I only had time for one
sightsee. I get into our ES and OS section
from episode 72, The things thatneed to be done perfectly.
I mentioned a couple things thatI forgot to say.
Why? Particularly why I the things

(16:04):
that need to be done perfectly. I said going off the high dive.
I said you always injure yourself.
I never go off, but dude I was afat kid my whole life.
I never went off. To mention is you really as a
grown man need to be very careful with how your feet are
located above your manhood 'cause if that thing slaps the
water, that's. Right if it just.

(16:24):
You're going down 12 feet. It's staying at the surface, or
that's at least what it feels like.
That was the number one reason why I'm done.
I thought you were going somewhere with like, 'cause you
didn't want to step on it. You know what I mean?
You know what I'm saying? Slapping the ground.
The other one I didn't mention why well, was surgery.
I said I could never be a surgeon because you ever see

(16:46):
those stories of like, yeah, this guy went in for an
appendectomy, came out with, yeah, they do the wrong thing.
Yep. Gotta do, gotta be perfect.
That'd be perfect. The nurses have to have your
charts perfectly. I failed to mention I'm pretty
OCD about these making sandwiches, salads, oh mixture
I. Agree.

(17:06):
Ratios have to be. Perfect.
And then, you know, there's nothing worse.
Like if the lettuce is gonna stick out of the side of the
bread, it has to be like I'm both sides.
It can't just be like a sloppy side of lettuce.
Have you? Ever watched someone who is
clearly not trained and maybe hungover at Subway making your
sandwich? Just throwing things on there
like a recluse. There are.

(17:27):
My brain is so messed up that that is part of my social media.
I don't. Even know if I use that word
correctly. It's like recluse recluse.
My social media has that rage bait.
Like my videos will be like dudes cutting pizza wrong.
Did you ever see you ever watch that where they like cut in the
worst shapes ever? I told you the story of the guy.

(17:48):
When I worked at Pizza Hut, the guy and the girl would come
every week, sit on. He was an old dude, she was a
young girl. Sugar Daddy.
Yeah, like 21 to 6. Taking her to Pizza Hut, she was
a classic girl. Yeah, every single week they.
'D sit on the same side of the booth.
I was like, you guys serious sitting on the same side of the
booth every week and they would,they would not want their pizza
cut. And one night we were super
busy. I'm sure I told the story
before. We were super busy.

(18:10):
Someone cut their pizza up. I took it to the table.
I'm like, listen, they were my regulars.
I was like, I'm so sorry someonecut your pizza.
He just looked at me and goes, how much do we owe for the
drinks? Got up and left because their
pizza was cut wrong. I was.
What did they do with the pizza?They listen, ma'am.
Do you need a safe word? Just say butterscotch brownies.
I I don't know if I know this story.
That actually is pretty scary. That makes me think he may be a

(18:31):
serial killer. Yes, actually we should probably
go check. Out.
Yeah. I wonder how she's doing.
Mixed drinks, you need to make them perfectly because you can
if if you're pouring mixed drinks heavy, it can be an early
night. I had where did Lauren and I
just go? We were somewhere and I had a
old fashioned and the bartender came.
It's also was a place where I probably shouldn't have ordered
an old fashioned, you know, likeyou, you know the bar.

(18:53):
Yeah. And she walked up like real
proud of herself, like shaking her head and and I take a drink
and I went, it was 100% liquor. There was nothing else.
And she went, how was it? And I'm like it, it smelled
good. It smelled good.
It was not good. Listen, Andy, on single gin and
tonics, Stephanie have a great time.
Me at a wedding on double G's and T's, I'm a bit of a problem.

(19:17):
Yeah, and I can tell you I'm at the.
We're at the age now where with mixed drinks or any drink, just
go smaller. Like I was in the Tigers game
and there was there was some brown liquor being passed around
and I was like some. Fantasy.
I always in those situations volunteer to pour myself because
I made myself a tiny shot and poured regulars for the rest of
people because I was like I don't be needing to do multiples

(19:40):
of the like. Especially if it's whiskey.
M ratios or Scott who's makers we just had a little neat,
little neat. It didn't go out of control.
How about I put on here surpriseparties you have to do perfectly
have. You.
Ever thrown a surprise party forsomeone?
They are stressful. Stressful leading up to it.
I do stuff a 30th and a 31st. Wasn't that either?

(20:04):
Hey, she goes after, she's not really a big into the surprise
stuff, so she's like, that's probably enough surprise party.
Yeah, let's start 30th. And I was like, I'm gonna throw
her 31st. Now 30th was at my house.
We walked down into the lower level.
It was a quad. And all of a sudden you hear my
niece going, When do we say surprise?
And stuff goes. There's someone in the house I
go, there's actually like 50. People.
Yeah, there's a bunch of people.Yeah, there's a party.

(20:26):
Pizza at the second one I threw for her was at the Athenian
Suites at Greektown. And I had everybody, I had
everybody outside the hotel room.
So I just like was far away fromthe door and I was like, knock
on the door. I'll be I'll be somewhere where
she has to answer it. And everyone was in the hallway
and screamed surprise. And then they came in.
We had a hotel. Was she mortified?
Yeah, because on the bed still clipping that out.

(20:49):
Well you can clip this out too. You know what's funny is we had
our first kid free night in a while 2 nights ago.
And Pon's still walking with a limp.
Paul here, can Ioffer you this cane?
Also, Oh my God. And that's why you have to edit

(21:18):
this podcast perfectly. Yep, can't leave that one in
there. That's going to be great when I
edit and bleep that stuff out and then say that's why I have
to edit it perfectly. Don't worry, I will not, not,
nobody will know how to talk. About it good good you just
leave up to it says where we hadour first kid free night and
then. All right, get into our sports

(21:42):
section pun I got a few fun facts about Major League
Baseball that I read and some NBA stuff.
So let's start with NBAI just want to quickly talk about.
I know, a joke. Oh yeah, dad joke.
Why was Michael Jordan called MJ?
Why? That's his initials, dude.
Let's see. I follow a page called Dad Jokes

(22:04):
and that was out there today andI don't know why I laughed so
hard at that. The MVP voting, so Shay Giljis.
Alexander. Alexander won his first MVP, but
it is an interesting debate between him and Joker, is it
not? It is.
It is. Yeah, Cuz I, I, I, I don't hate.
I I did hate it for a while for 3/4 and 7/8 of the season.

(22:27):
I was like, this is bullshit. That SJ was going to win.
He was going to win and I knew he was going to win cuz they
didn't want Joker to win anotherone in a row.
And but I I tell you what, dude,he's fantastic.
You just said the reason I have a problem with these awards and
just would you stop flipping that coin on?
Damn it. Just got yelled at, but I don't

(22:48):
like that whole like the writersvote for it and then there is
the you get tired of the same person in a row.
Yes, like it doesn't. That's not what the award is.
It's not. Are you sick of Joker being the
MVP? That's not what it should be.
I can't. They should have 5 already.
He should probably have 5 already.
Yep cuz Joel. I don't know, it's so hard.

(23:09):
There's always two people at thetop that you can name either
one. And I'm you know what I'm fine
with? I mean SGA taking OKC to the
finals this year is insane. I lost all respect for MVP award
when Steve Nash won back-to-back.
There is in a league that had Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O'Neal,
LeBron James and Tim Duncan. He robbed and.

(23:29):
Steve Nash won back-to-back. Or did he rob Kobe?
Or. Shaq, he robbed Kobe.
Kobe. I think Kobe and Shaq.
Steve Nash has more MVPS than Shaq.
That's crazy. That's.
The stupidest thing I've ever said out.
Loud, but he was white and he skateboards, so that was cool.
That was like always the appeal to Steve Nash.
Steve Nash always annoyed me. I never liked his game.

(23:50):
Sure, he was a great basketball player, but.
I said to somebody else, I said he never made it to the finals.
I never was like, hey, let me craft A-Team and put Steve Nash
on it. I think it should be if you
draft like fantasy football style, if you're drafting A-Team
for that one year doesn't. So the age is indifferent for
future that one year. Who are you taking first?

(24:11):
Yeah. Or like who's the most valuable
to their team? You could actually make the
argument for a joker with that criteria. 100%.
Because if you take him off Denver, they're not good.
At all. Aaron Gordon's not leading them.
OK, C is load their rosters loaded.
Yeah, they they are. But top tier talent is him.
He is. He is the showpiece.
I'm not saying SGSGI got some stats that I wrote down here A.

(24:33):
Lot he flops a bit. Also isn't that becoming a thing
where it's like no matter what team you watch or who you root
for, in every round, in every match up there was a complaint
about certain players drawing fouls and flopping and getting
weak ass calls? It's just the league.
It is the league. It's horrible.
The NBA allows it to be that way.

(24:54):
Yep. So shame on them.
I I wrote this down like at the halfway point of the season.
Shay Gillis, How do you say his?Name Gildrus Shay Shay Giljus
Alexander. Now I'm overthinking it so.
SGA halfway through the season. I don't know when I wrote this
down but points leaders total points on the year SGA had 1957

(25:16):
so that was probably like the 2/3 way of the mark because you
usually get close to 3000. I think Jordan's the most ever
at like 3050 or something like that.
So SGA at one point in the season at 1957 points. 2nd place
was Anthony Edwards, so pay attention to the numbers. 1646
SGA through 3/4. If he didn't play the fourth

(25:38):
quarter of any of his games would have had more.
He would have had nine more points than Anthony Edwards.
That's insane pun. That's insane.
That means your team's so good you're not even playing the
fourth quarters. Let me read one more thing about
Joker. So Joker, the reason for him is
I think the reason SJ wins it isbecause they OKC Thunder won 18
more games than Denver. Yeah.
And yes. And you know, despite them

(25:59):
having a fully loaded roster, there's still that stigma of
them being OKC and you just don't think they're going to be
good. But Denver Joker's the first non
point guard to average a triple double in the season.
It's insane. He what he does is insane.
And he hates his job. Upon He is top three in the
league this year in points, rebounds, assists and steals.
Craziness. I mean, I think you have to give

(26:22):
a shit. Dude, that's the MVP and he
hates being there. He doesn't want to be there.
In Denver. He no in the NBA, that's the
running joke in circle. I think we've talked about this
before. We're like if you watch his at
any MVP awards there morning or when they won the championship,
like any of the things that are glorifying him, he looks

(26:43):
miserable. He just wants to go home.
So they're like the funniest onewas he had a 60 point double
overtime victory and they said Joker's worst day, 'cause he had
to work extra hours at work. It was that.
Those are my favorite memes of like Joker and so true.
Yeah, he's the best player in the.
Dad bot God. He certainly is.

(27:05):
Listen to this last stat I have on him from this year.
By the way, SGA averaged 33 points, 6 1/2 assists and five
rebounds and 1.7 steals. Not a slouch.
Not a bad. Joker earlier this season had a
triple double pawn with 31 points, 21 rebounds, 22 assists.
Dude, that's stupid. That's insane.
That has to be 80% of it gets even better.

(27:27):
At one minute and 36 seconds into the third quarter, he was
at 1310 and 10. For the rest of the game he had
1811 and 12. So he got two triple double S in
one game in 1/2 of each game. Dude, that's unspeakable.
He's ridiculous and he doesn't like if you watched him.
To the untrained eye, if your wife who doesn't watch

(27:50):
basketball, watch the Denver game, she would never go.
That's the best basketball player in the world.
She just wouldn't know. I don't know if we have time.
I wanted to ask you LeBron Jamesquestion.
Do you want to answer LeBron James question or no?
Sure. One thing I will always be
interested in and and I know that it's ignore the fact that
LeBron James is a giant for a second if you can.
I can. I would have been so intrigued

(28:11):
10 years ago if he had tried or 15 years ago tried to go into
the NFL as a tight end. Oh, I think he would have been
Uber successful. I think he would have been so I.
Think he might have been one of the greatest Titans ever?
I do too. And why wouldn't he have tried
that? We talked a couple episodes ago,
who's the greatest athletes ever?
Immediately everyone says Bo Jackson and Deion Sanders
because they were dual athletes,dual sport athletes.

(28:34):
If LeBron James goes in there and dominates with Dave Manning
or Tom Brady, that would have been must see TV every week.
I don't think people realize with a man who's as big as he
is, as fast as he is, as strong as he is and as athletic to
have, he is a modern day gladiator.
People don't understand the level of human beings.

(29:00):
LeBron James could go into football without a question and
maybe have a Hall of Fame NFL tight end career.
Starting today, so. Like for the next years, a freak
of nature that I'm not sure people really understand.
People joke about him being a wuss because he takes flops in
NBA and this and that but. Extremely disciplined.
Extremely strong. Well, I am.

(29:20):
People always say just because you play in the NBA doesn't mean
you're good at football. He was like a top recruit for
football coming out of high school as.
Well, and when you're when you're as athletic as he is, I
have no, there's just there is something to overall
athleticism. If you are that elite with hand
eye coordination, with sprinting, with quickness, with

(29:41):
strength there. I promise you there's just if he
would have chose to go into polevaulting, he would be an Olympic
athlete. If he would have went into
swimming, although I, I don't know, Aerodynamic explained.
Come and do it right. Michael Phelps got something
there, there I. Promise you folks, there is
nothing on earth that has anything to do with physical

(30:03):
ability that LeBron James could not do if he put his mind to it.
He I will always be disappointedthat he didn't try and the
reason I brought up because there always was the rumors.
Yeah, he's 6 foot nine, £250. 6 foot 9. 252 Nobody in the NBA
can guard. I mean, he's stronger than
everybody. He's fast as a gazelle.
There's no defensive back in theleague that can guard 69250 that

(30:26):
can jump and dunk a basketball on a 13 foot rim.
All your favorite NFL players, he makes them look like other
than offensive lineman, he makeslook like babies.
Yeah, in most offensive lineman.Think about Jimmy.
Makes dominated. Baby Lebron's got like 5 inches
on it. It would have been so
entertaining. I would bet my life if we were
in an alternate universe, if yousaid, hey, in this universe he's

(30:48):
going to strictly care about football, I would bet my life
he'd be in the NFL Hall of Fame.He'd be the best tight end to
ever. Play.
No question. No question.
Wow. What if he got a hangnail in
season 2? My God.
All right, it's list time, baby.Let's do it.
And this week's list is the adulting pros and cons and pun.

(31:10):
As I'd like to start off with mylittle blurbs, I actually found
I thought for some reason a couple sayings went into my
head. You know how like you're always
like, I'm never going to talk like my parents talked.
And then you end up saying like their little parents sayings.
Whoever thought of this saying is an absolute genius.
Hey, do as I say, not as I do, correct?

(31:32):
Or they were just like some rambling drunk that couldn't
formulate a sentence. Try to say imagine being a
degenerate piece of shit parent and your kids are like you're a
degenerate. Do as I say.
Not that's exactly how that cameabout. 100% our parents, we talk
about this all the time. Our parents never knew where we

(31:53):
were. They didn't know what we were
doing. Like parents in the 80s and the
90s were like near. Free.
Yeah, you. Weren't really a parent.
Yeah, that was. Quite easy, yeah.
Yeah. You didn't have to follow us on
Life 360. No, no, I did things.
I'm not sure if you did it the same way where I also I kind of

(32:13):
half assed this list but. Pun's kid graduated from high
school yesterday. Yeah, give him a break.
I've been a little sidetracked, but I also used.
I did things with like pros and cons of it.
Same. I used, you know.
Same every everything, because everything that we do as adults
has a pro and a con with it. A. 100% like I'll start off with
even all right, money is something.

(32:35):
I think money is is probably thebiggest pro verse con no doubt,
because something is dumb as like even just sending you the
the gay cruise thing. It's hilarious, right?
Semen Conquest. Having adult money is is awesome
to do whatever you want. You want to travel, you want to
do this, you want. But on the flip side is every

(32:58):
person in your family's want andneeds relies on you and on your
bank account. So it's like when you open that
bank up and you're like, wow, the hell is like a really cool
number, except you're supportingeveryone.
It's so hard. No one eats without.
You it's something that you don't think about when you're a

(33:20):
adult that just got out of college.
Yeah. Or just got into a career.
Yep. Or just started making good
money. Yeah, enough to like, just,
like, screw things up. Do you remember your first adult
paycheck when you were like, dude this is awesome you had no
responsibilities. Listen, I I remember almost
every evolution from like getting $150 on a paycheck to

(33:43):
getting 500 to getting 1000 to every evolution.
I remember each of them being like whoa dude I got 307
dollars. Now puns like I got 5000 and
it's just not enough. It's.
Just not enough. Oh God, Oh my God.
Venmo request baby. Oh, it's all day.

(34:03):
So money is is a beautiful thingwhen it's in your favor.
But you know, on the flip side, you have a lot of
responsibilities. Money comes up in mind all the
time, so I'll just jump to one that has money involved.
It's bills. Like do you remember being?
That's why I said when you firstgot a good job, you're probably
still living with your mom. Yep.

(34:24):
I was an engineer living with mymom and dad.
I got my first paycheck and I was like.
Oh my God. Oh.
My God, because I had mom. Dead.
You're done. Working, You don't.
From this day on, you're done. I got you.
So. Through that 1300 bucks.
But for me, it was like when youhave no bills, life is good.

(34:45):
Yes. So you're making money, you got
no bills, but the con is, is that the bills are coming.
That's I it's one of the biggestlessons I tell my kids is like,
it's not how it doesn't. There are people who make 5,
six, $800,000 a year who are paycheck to paycheck.
It does not matter how much you make, it matters how much you
spend. How much you spend and how much

(35:06):
you and how good are you with a budget?
And how good are you with the budget?
Yes. A budget.
Actually, my daughter uses the Budget app.
I'm so proud of her. I I used to hate bills.
Now I'm to the point where like I take a sense of pride in
having auto pay and like knowingeverything is taken care of no
problem and there's no problem. Knowing that you're not living,

(35:27):
check to check. Yes, but one could I still go
ahead? One catastrophe can change that
for anyone. I always remind like listen, if
a a tornado comes through and rips the roof of your house off,
if your car randomly explodes, maybe it.
I don't. I don't know what everyone's
financial situation is, but there is a catastrophe that can

(35:48):
put even the most secure feelingpeople right back.
Into this so I started off with this one which is number six so
under #6 BI have. I have 4 total things, he has
80. CI said what you just said.
Unexpected cost. So brutal cause shit breaks.
Yep I'm an adult. We have everything on autopay

(36:09):
also it's like out of sight out of mind.
Yep, but you know what happens when your car breaks down or you
got to put new tires? Or the thing you had happened
just with your. Oh yeah, the my dog came in
bleeding to death and we had to take it to an emergency vet
$1200 later you're like, Yep. And.
Adulting sucks. What's crazy is we are now so
much of adults that like right before we left for vacation, the

(36:33):
same thing happened with Lauren's dog.
And I think the bill was 1516. Seventeen, $100.
She's a bigger dog. It didn't even factor into me to
tell anybody about it. Like, hey, you won't believe I
just spent 2000 bucks on a it just a lot.
It just came. But it just that that is a
definitely a con of being an adult, random, unexpected, like,

(36:53):
oh, hey, by the way, this is going to cost you a gazillion
dollars. Right, but a probe being an
adult is when you get to a spot where it didn't ruin your.
Cruise No, it didn't. Ruin you weren't like.
No, I'm very blessed in that. So that.
Didn't tell your 18 year old daughter she was allowed to
order mojito? Hey, she couldn't.
Afford it. Here's the thing, guys.
We're going, but like, we're going to eat now at home and
then we'll eat again when we getback.
Yeah, this is. We're going into the Hunger

(37:13):
Game, Yeah, we're going to the arena.
We're not eating for 10 days. The other thing I have under
bills in general is do you remember when you were young
what I wanted to say about unexpected shit breaking?
I said shit breaks is for adults.
You expect that to happen though, Like right now, Steph
and I know that at some point we're gonna need tires Some
point we're gonna need this. I'm.
Actually, right there with you too.

(37:33):
So when you're a kid, ignorance is bliss.
Oh. Yeah, and you don't know about
the unexpected things. You don't even think about it.
Ignorance is bliss. I am having these talks with my
oldest daughter is so mature andso wise in Cameron, who just
graduated is so like by the seatof her pants where I'm like you

(37:54):
really just like we'll figure itout.
Both be roommates, figure them middle each other out.
It's it's crazy. Yeah.
You don't think when, all right,when you're just beginning your
money voyage and you start making some money, you're like,
oh, everything's paid. I have 600 bucks left.
This is I could, dude, I could go buy like, what do I want to

(38:15):
buy? I paid all of my bills for the
month and I have 600 bucks. I bought a house when I was 23
years old and like I didn't understand what goes into
closing a house. Like how you have to pay closing
costs, Closing costs front load the taxes and the insurance
front load your escrow pay back.It's like 20,000 bucks to close.

(38:37):
Yeah, pay back everything that they paid, Pay the percentages
to the real estate agents. I didn't have enough money.
Yeah, I, like got there and I was like, holy crap, that the
rest that they needed like cleaned me out because I was a
young guy. I'm telling you, dude, Sean,
Chad and I live together on likelawn chairs for a week.
So like, I got a check I could afford a Bhutan.
Like, we had nothing dude, but we still partied pretty hard.

(38:59):
You had a house. You had a pass.
It was a fun toy. Also, I'm still convinced that's
very true that guys don't if I mean, we've we've also talked
about we've talked about everything, but I if it wasn't
for my daughters and for Lauren,I, I would be so fine with just
ATV and a lawn chair. I don't need nothing.
Oh, yeah, I don't need nothing. You, you boys were living.

(39:20):
We it was the best days of our lives, it was.
The best day of your life. The other thing about Bill or
money in general is I think thisis a con of adulting.
When you first become an adult or get your first job, do you
remember having like no idea about taxes?
They were like, oh I'm sorry, how much of my check are you
guys taking? I still now, yeah, look at taxes
and I go, it's unthinkable. It's ungodly.

(39:42):
It's like direct deposit. I don't even think about it.
Back in dude my first job I was working at Wendy's at like 15
making $3.75 an hour. They were like hey give me $1.50
out of every hour. I was literally working for
nothing. I know it's it's yeah.
You'd never think about taxes when you're a kid.
I mean, there's all those memes online where like parents are

(40:03):
teaching their kids about taxes with like, food or something.
They're like, here's your plate at.
Dinner you get 3 Cheetos and then your mom gets one.
Cheap plate and you're like, OK now you just paid your taxes,
Alright, what else you got? I think the next obvious one for
me would be drinking. I love the fact that as an
adult, I could I can crack a beer at 7:00 AM if I want.

(40:24):
Anytime you want. There's a downside to that is
the next morning, 6 Motrin, 4 Gatorades, a $64 DoorDash order.
Hot. Sweatpants don't talk to me
because you had 4G and TS. Yeah, as an adult, as an adult,
but you remember as a young. Person.

(40:45):
Oh my God. I mean I was a high functioning
alcoholic. Can you going to work with a
hangover isn't even something that.
Ever would I'm using a sick day.Yeah, there's I'm.
Telling you right now I'm using a vacation.
There's no way I'm drinking heavily on a weeknight.
No. Back when I was an intern.
Oh my God. I mean, we would be howling at
the moon every Wednesday night at my apartment.

(41:05):
Dude you don't start work till 8:00 what are you talking?
About I was an intern. I would go into the employee
restroom in the back in the R&D section, sit on one of those big
buckets of cleaner in the cornerand just fall asleep against the
wall in the bathroom. I would be suffering through my
work. Day.
Yep, it wasn't even. I haven't worked with a hangover
in a decade. Think about your time.
Your concept of time as a young professional or 20 year old is

(41:29):
like you. You don't start work till 8:00
tomorrow morning. Dude.
You could party till midnight, drive home and still get 6-7
hours of sleep. Even if you ate something, you
could be in bed by 2:00. That's six hours.
Yeah, you're like, dude, that's all the sleep I could ever.
That's all I need. Now I'm like, hey listen, I'm
not drinking Wednesday, dude. I got some shit to do Saturday

(41:51):
morning. Dude, when we're, when you're in
your college years and your young adult years, that's how
Thirsty Thursdays become a thing.
You're like, listen, I can muscle through one.
Thirsty on Thursday since I was 32 years old.
Like if we do. Thirsty Thursdays and I muscle
through Friday, have a relatively quiet Friday.
I'm back in the saddle on Saturday.
Yep, I mean, this is not how adults think anymore.

(42:11):
No, we would you would also compound interest your drinking
where you're like, dude, I couldgo hard Monday, Tuesday and
exactly what you just said, likeif I have a cocktail Thursday
and I don't drink any of Friday,I'm for sure fine by like
Saturday night. Absolutely you could like.
Compound the drinker's math. Yes, drinker's calendar.

(42:32):
Yeah, and now it's, you know, Lauren, we were, where were we
just at? We were just at a barbecue and I
bought a couple 4 packs of high noons and she had a couple.
I had 4 packs. Yeah.
Will they come in 4-8 or I don'tknow what the multi is, but I'm
guessing going to be 12 going off the just use just do the
algorithm. Just doing the algorithm.

(42:54):
And she had a couple and she woke up the next morning and
she's like, I cannot believe I have a headache.
From high noon off of. 3 high noons.
Oh my God, those, There's no chance those would give me a
headache. You know it gives me headaches
or Ipas. Who tricks Ipas?
Still, it's You're an animal. You are an animal.
I'm talking to you, cousin Jake.You are an animal.

(43:15):
I'm telling you, man, IP, the hoppy Ipas give me a raging
headache. No, thank you.
It's unbearable. And brown liquor, like I won't
touch any of that stuff. Yeah, no.
If I can't have a headache the next day, every once in a while
I get into the bourbon a little bit.
And no matter, no matter what time I go to sleep, I'm waking
up early. So if I drink brown liquor, I'm
still getting up at 6:00 AM and I'm miserable.

(43:38):
Yeah. Do you remember also Adulting
pro was that we joked a few weeks ago about how we went to
Windsor and I would be like, youknow how I knew what time it was
to come home from Windsor at because I would run out of my
$20 that I exchanged for $30? Yep.
I remember having a paycheck andbeing able to afford like a bar
tab. Finally.
Oh my and my. Friends used to joke and they'd
call me Uncle Ballrog because I'd pick up some bar tabs here

(43:58):
and there because it was like, yeah.
This is awesome. Oh my God, what do you want?
Mozzarella sticks. Get them.
And then you think back, get a whole decade and you're like,
wow, if I still have that $12,000 I spent, yeah, I my #2
to, to get away from the boozingis how about one of the pros of
being an adult, being a dad, therecliner and the remote

(44:19):
controller combo, baby, There ain't no way if we're all
watching TV together. I don't care if you call me a, a
chauvinist or whatever. You want to call me a male toxic
trait. I got the recliner and I got the
remote in my. Hand there is, there's.
No way. That is such a pro that Lauren
is. This is how I knew that we were

(44:41):
going to get along just fine after a long day of work.
And I do have some long day sometimes.
She never, ever makes me feel guilty about throwing sweats on,
plopping down, popping whatever it is I'm going to put on.
She's like, hey, what are we doing for dinner?
She will figure something out and like that is the biggest pro
of having a long day of work andnot having to feel guilty for

(45:03):
coming home and sitting down. Dude it is such a good feeling.
Pro of adulting and having the remote controller like the power
I used. To.
Oh yeah. I I moved out to my apartment
when I was 21 and then bought a house at 23.
I didn't hate, I love my parents.
The reason I moved out, I neededthe remote control.
Oh God, I have a little control.I couldn't be sitting in the
remote control room anymore. Not watching Maylock again.

(45:27):
With my dad flipping through murder, She Wrote.
Yeah, Hill Street Blues. But you know, the con of that is
you got to pay. The cons are all money.
The cons. Are I just worked a 10 hour day.
I took a kid to football practice.
I filled her car up with gas. No, yeah, the con is to watch
what I'm watching. I got to pay for Wi-Fi and I got

(45:47):
to pay for the streaming. Service you got to pay for the
couch and the roof and the pay for.
Everything all right? What you got?
I would say the next would be this is taking me back to
teenage years as curfews. The pro of being an adult is you
have zero I can the right now. If I wanted to, I could sit here

(46:07):
and crack a beer with you. I can go home at 2:00 in the
morning if I want and there's not a you got a.
Woman, in your life, you have somebody.
To answer to now, but there is there is no time limit that I
have. No one's going to whip my ass if
I'm not home. I've always lived as an adult
like. That the downside to that.
Quickly, do you know that peoplewho are like that, people love

(46:30):
to be around them you're the funguy.
Yeah, you're the peer pressurer.Yep.
Listen, we don't got any rules. We.
Don't. What are we doing?
Listen, Chad, we don't got to behome.
You notice it is. What time is it now?
It's 7:00 and I'm not rushing you.
Yeah, I ain't got to be to work tomorrow, baby.
I think that's going to work tomorrow.
What you want to do? Bud's going to get home and do
the old Martin Lawrence. Trick.
There's a good drink right there.

(46:53):
Downside to the curfews is now I'm such an old man, I like to
be in bed by 9:30. Dude, what are we talking?
I'm not. I don't want to finish the
Evening News lag. I want to be asleep.
I'm telling you, lack of sleep. Before Chuck Gaydick finishes
this segment. Gaydika's Porch or whatever.

(47:15):
I'm telling you lack of sleep. The fact that we used to go to
work hungover and on no sleep isunimaginable because just a lack
of sleep is tough. If someone has poker on a
Thursday and I have 3 beers, nothing crazy, and I get home
into bed at 12:30 at night, I'm still dragging ass the next day,
Yeah. And you don't have a super early
alarm either, do you? No, no, I wake up at, I mean,

(47:37):
well, Stephanie probably disagree with does I wake up
around 7:00 every day. Yeah, I mean.
Leaning more towards 8 but. I say it is the older you get,
you don't. The booze factor is unimaginable
cause lack of sleep is so tough to deal with.
It's very tough and it's noticeable even like my mood
from like I'm not working tomorrow.

(47:57):
I'm gonna even just subconsciously, I know I don't
have to be up at 3/30, 4:00 in the morning.
I am so much more pleasant and not tired like that.
Waking up that early changes my like I it changes who I am.
Absolutely. After I eat dinner, I lay on the
couch and I'm like like I'm not doing anything cool.
I gotta be up in like 6 hours, 5hours that.

(48:19):
I don't mean to sound negative Nelly about your your job, but
that life. 'S it is the downside.
Really. Where is Anya?
It is the downside and yeah, it's brutal.
It's rough. You might want to do some swing
shifts and swishing afternoons everyone.
But you know, the the counter tothat is I don't miss anything.
Yeah, I can still be a fully involved parent.

(48:40):
That's. Actually a great point because
you're not missing anything at 9/30 10:00 at night.
No, no, I'm, I'm I can do 10 hours at work and be off by
3:30. Right.
You do all the kids activities and then.
Yeah. So it's like.
They're watching some crappy show on Netflix like.
I'm not missing there are times.Girls are watching the Outer
Banks. You're sleeping.
You're sawing logs on the couch.90% of the time they don't want

(49:01):
to be around, but there are times where it's like I'm going
to bed and they're like laughingin the kitchen.
I'm like. The only tough thing for you I
think for that lifestyle is, is that you have such a swing from
your weekend social life or whatyou would try to make a weekend
social life to your work life. Like someone that wants to hang
out on a Friday for you is difficult, even a Saturday.

(49:23):
Like if you go out with Lauren at a pub crawl 9 innings, 9 bars
perhaps and you're out till eventhough we're not.
But say you like go crazy and you're out till 2-3 in the
morning, you're going to be feeling that because of your
work schedule till like Tuesday,Wednesday.
Well, even like meeting for dinner, if somebody says hey,
let's meet at 8:00, it's like ifI've been up since 3:00 in the

(49:44):
morning, well, I'm already tiredgoing into this dinner.
It's so funny he's at 8:00 because at the beginning of the
show I had AI, had AI, saw a tweet from at Steve Cam that
says me at 20. Nothing good happens after 3:00
AM 25. Nothing good happens after 2:00
AM Me at 30. Nothing happened.
Nothing good happens after midnight.
Me at 40. What kind of cycle makes a

(50:06):
dinner reservation for 8:00 PM? It's crazy.
Yeah, that's me, unfortunately. But the cool thing is you snap
right out of it. The moment that that clears up
right when you're going on vacation, you're not dressed, it
instantly goes away. How much sleep do you need
though 'cause I need I feel likeI need.
Like compared to Stephanie for example, she needs 6, I need 8.

(50:28):
I need 66 I'm I'm not complaining 6 1/2 I feel like
I'm highly functioning 7 or 8. I'm like I'm high fiving people
in the morning. What up, brother?
Yeah. Six 6 1/2 hours seems to be my
sweet spot, though it's realistic.
Steph gets up before me and stays up later than me.

(50:50):
She's an absolute machine. I don't know how she does it.
I love you, babe. I.
Love you babe. Get a slap on the ass later for
that. What's your next?
One, my next one, piggyback in my last one off of the teenage
years, is a pro and a con of adulting, is that I got to see
my daughter at prom last week. I went and saw her and her

(51:12):
friends taking pictures in RoyalOak.
Yeah, she looks stunning in her prom dress.
I took pictures with her, loved every second of it.
I kind of know is that I flashedback to what we did in our after
prom parties. Oh.
My God. And I was like, oh boy, I hope
she she's so responsible that she's not a partier.
Thank God. Man, a kind of being an adult is

(51:32):
worrying about your damn kids after hours.
Yesterday I text 'cause. We were reckless.
I text Cam yesterday and said hey, don't forget my ticket to
get into the graduation 'cause she had mine with her and she
sent me back a picture of pink Whitney shooters but a Google.
Stock image Oh my God and. She was like, you don't forget

(51:54):
those. She wanted me to bring shooters
to her graduation and I'm like, when did you ever think never is
that going to ever happen in your?
Entire life we this generation, we talked about they don't party
like we did. But like again, my daughter is
not and she's like all about tennis and doesn't want to
involve herself in the party life.
So I have it easy, but I have toprom parties pawn.

(52:16):
There's a reason why in 1999, I was drinking St.
I's in the parking lot before prom and eating goldfish out of
the glass tank inside of becausewe were we were carefree when we
were 18 years old. Yeah.
Well, also that's a girl guy thing.
Hotel parties. We had kids.
Brian Gorbowski puking off the balcony over at the Red Roof.
Do why? What made us think to get a

(52:36):
single? Like we were so broke and so
cheap we didn't even get double bedrooms.
We had 64. People at the hotel, if you
don't know what the holiday orb is, Google image that it ain't
safe. That's an area specific.
That's actually in a white Stripe song.

(52:58):
That's really funny. Yeah, those parties, man, I'm
glad I don't have to worry aboutthat.
Yeah, my next adulting pro wouldbe being invited to freaking
cool stuff. We have our sister's wedding.
Like, you can go anywhere in theworld you want at the drop of a
dime just by simply. We could, Andy and I could sit
here and talk and something could come up about Vegas and we

(53:21):
could be like, you just want to go to Vegas next weekend and we
could go. And we can do whatever we.
Want. Yeah, the kind of that goes.
Back to the. Finance goes we want money and
then also like dude, you got to plan that.
You got to book it, you got to reserve it.
You got to take time off work. You got to make sure the dog is
taken care of. You got to make sure you got to

(53:43):
pull your suitcases out. There's like actual work.
You don't just get in the car and go on let.
Me make let me give you an example right now.
Not even family vacations, because I got that on my list
too. But let me just give you an
example. Say we just cracked a beer right
now. We started hooting and
hollering. Things got a little out of
control and I was like, dude, let's just let's just drive to
Chicago right now. We're adults.
We could do it. Also, we used to do that in we.

(54:04):
Is that a New Year's Eve? That's what I mean.
We're 21. We can do that right now.
We're adults. But when Lauren and Steph name
show up on our cell phones, like, hey, where are you guys?
Could you e-mail me? And Baller all got a little out
of hand, Lauren. And we're right now we're at The
Cheesecake Factory, the bottom of the Hancock.
Yes, it is. It is a beautiful thing to where

(54:28):
her sister's wedding is in PuntaCana at a resort, A beautiful
resort. And just without even
hesitating, we can be like, boom, yeah, we're in.
We're we're going. We're in.
And the man, the, the world is big too.
You guys could go to Europe, youcan go to.
Anywhere. Hey, I'm a truck driver.
Quick planning out there. Don't put these things in
Lawrence you. Can get.

(54:48):
You can get over to Anne. Franks House OK so you're going
to laugh at me, but I've alreadymentioned to Lauren how bad I
want to go to Poland how bad I want to I want to go do I want
to go of Poland as a country I heard is there's like 0 crime
now beautiful church it's a beautiful place, beautiful

(55:09):
people every they're welcoming it's exciting it's nothing like
1939 well. I would hope not.
But I do I would love. Some tough polls too.
You know how many times people tried to make that that them
extinct didn't work? True, I would love to do a 2 or
a three-week. I feel like you could do some

(55:29):
real damage in two or three. That's a terrible pun to make.
You can do some real damage in two or three weeks.
Oh my God, Yeah, yeah, it's likeblitzkrieg, but oh.
My yes I think A2 week European Tour would be awesome.
All I'm saying is we can get tickets to go to Amsterdam with
our ladies, visit Anne Frank in a day, the Tulip fields, and

(55:51):
then go to the red light district.
Wait a minute, now a year. Easy.
Flight, the cranes and the ball rags would be a fantastic.
Can I interest you in a gay cruise?
We're going to stay at a little bit less nicer hotel than the
ballroom. By the way, I want.
I know this guy lives in next toCecil Fielder.

(56:12):
You never vacation with stuff inme.
We're staying in hostels. We go cheating.
It's just a shit. A shower to shave, man.
Yeah, we're going sightseeing. I agree.
So to piggyback your vacation one or you can go wherever you
want. The pro of being the way I wrote
it was the pro of being an adult.
Our vacations, Yes. The con is trips.
Trips. Yeah, 100%.

(56:33):
Vacation versus trip are very different.
Very, very different. Being able to go to if Steph and
I are just like let's do three nights in Vegas.
Awesome time. Like you said, you got to line
some stuff up. Yep, Gigi's taking our son for
the weekend. Trips take.
Some work trips are memorable and awesome, but they take.
Work. Yes, they take a lot.
Of PS You ain't getting on a trip bro.

(56:54):
No, especially not with my my. You're sharing a camper with six
kids my for my next 1. I actually should have said this
when you were talking about yourwork schedule.
Waking up early. I just put one of the cons of
being an adult pro of being an adult.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday, con, Monday, dude Monday.
That transition, like I was saying, from being up late at

(57:16):
night, shifting your sleep schedule when we were in like
our party days and we were staying up till 2-3 in the
morning on Fridays and Saturdays, I could never get to
sleep on Sundays to work on Mondays.
It was like misery being an adult on Monday mornings.
When I got this job, I was like,I'm not going to know what to do
when I get off at a normal time on Friday and have Friday night,

(57:38):
Saturday and Sunday off. And for the first couple of
years it was like bliss. And now I'm so accustomed to it.
Sundays, I'm like Mondays here. I need Fridays off too.
Last thing I got to say is I sawthis meme on the dad jokes
account. Said when I was a kid bedtime
was 9:00 PM and I couldn't wait to be grown up so I could go to

(58:00):
bed anytime I wanted. Turns out it's 9:00 PM.
It's 9:00 PM. Yep.
Yeah, there was a method to our parents madness.
Get into our goodbye section. Did you see Norm from Cheers
died? Yes, I did, in his sleep at 72.
76 or 77 I think, Oh, I have it right here. 1948 to 2025.

(58:21):
I'm not doing that math. 76 or 77.
The funny thing about him is that he is like known for Cheers
and the Super fans, Bill Schwarzsky's Bears, Double SI
love those actors that were justlike he was just norm.
He wasn't all these things. Yeah.
And all of us, when we were young man, at one point I didn't
even watch Cheers, but I was like, I could see myself being
Norm. 100%. Just that's my stool.

(58:44):
If I didn't have kids, I would be Norm.
Closing thoughts I sat on here. What is with kids nowadays?
We had a pizza night here a couple weekends ago and Steph
likes to always buy the dessertsthat the kids will love, so she
buys Strawberry Shortcake ice cream bars.
Oh. Those are the best.
And ice cream sandwiches. Oh, the soft ones, if we.

(59:06):
Do ice cream bar draft. We just said maybe 2 topangas.
Two topangas, no doubt. These kids, I don't know what's
wrong with kids nowadays. There were like two kids come up
to me. They were like I'm all done with
mine and it's 1/2 an Ice Cream Sandwich.
Perfect. Thank you, kid.
Beat it. Get out of my face.
Now get. The hell out of it.
Tell your dad you finished it. Get away.
Cannot believe that kids nowadays do not finish an ice

(59:28):
cream. Sandwich.
Yeah, they're they're not. You know why?
Because we're a little smarter now and we realize saying you
cannot get up from this table until you finish your entire
plate is not a good idea to do to children anymore.
It like formed a lot of obesity in children.
You're not getting up. My mom was avid.

(59:49):
I'm like, no, you finish your plate, so are mine.
You do not get up until now. Granted, I feel like plates were
also a lot smaller back then. They didn't play.
We're the poorest. We're the poorest.
You're not getting 72 freaking Turkey legs.
I mean, sounds like pun used to Daydream about 72.
But think about it like, why didwe tell Ari?

(01:00:11):
Why did our parents tell us we cannot be done until?
What if we were just Hey mom, what if I'm done when I'm full?
That is crazy. I mean.
It's like, I feel like that's pretty healthy.
That's pretty normal. We were the same way.
I think that was the 80s. That was the 80s.
They also smoked cigarettes in the house with us.
By the way, Chad and Tricia during that pizza night brought
over AII texted them later. I said, hey, you guys brought a

(01:00:35):
tub full of mini chocolate chip cookies.
The little ones. Oh no.
And I left. Them here.
Yeah, they want to. They want to sabotage your life.
You want to know how to get uninvited from pizza night?
Leave a tub of mini chocolate chip cookies just.
Guess what I just did last night?
I ate a tub of freaking cookies.Guess what I am this morning.
Yeah, tub of mini chocolate chipcookies.

(01:00:56):
Also how does pizza night work? Do you does everybody bring
random pizzas or just with the person hosting rotate orders?
And the and the host orders at all.
That's the best way to bring sides and mini tubs of chocolate
chip cookies. Baby, I tell you what staff was
fiddling with I heard, so I heara plastic lid getting fiddled
with the other day like she couldn't get this thing open
out. Middle one's such a funny word
about that. I go, hey, you fiddling with

(01:01:16):
them cookies? I was like, hey Steph, don't you
go gaining any weight on. Me.
Don't you get big on me? Tuts she looks at me and she
goes. I'm trying to open a pack of
carrots and I was like, I was like, oh, well, if you're not
doing anything useful, can you bring me the tub of chocolate
chip cookies? You know what Steph told me the
other day? I go, I go, how are you not
struggling with this tub of minichocolate chip cookies like I
am? She goes, chocolate chip cookies

(01:01:38):
aren't my thing. I was like what kind of cookies
are yours? What are you like in life?
All right, Paul, we got to get out of here, but what do you
want to do next time? Let's do something funny.
Funnier than adulting? Pros and cons?
Let's do. Let's do a draft.
We haven't done too many. We haven't done them in a while.

(01:02:00):
Let's draft. What do?
You What do you want to draft? Now you're doing two adults.
What's 2? Adults.
Sorry, Pun was on. Pun was on.
His wheels were turning. Free ball.
The wheels were. I was going to say I just say
free. Ball, you were spitballing bro.
For the record, he is not free ball.
In Studio 2 I have I have underwear.

(01:02:22):
It was spitballing. Yeah, dude, I was free balling.
Freestyling or spitballing were the combination of words that
you use there. Yes, exactly.
If you could be reincarnated as an animal, what are you coming
back as? No, we actually could do that.
I'm picking an out. All right, we talked off air and

(01:02:44):
we decided we're going to do theplaces we want to visit the
least. All right, pawn, remember to
like and subscribe to our podcast 5 Star share it with
your friends. Pawn.
That's all I got what you got. Also note to all the listeners,
make sure you wear underwear anddon't free buy it.

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Ep.73 - Adulting Pros & Cons

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