Ep.76 - The Rules we HATED as Kids... - Conversational Humor - An Improv Comedy Hour

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
I freaking love our podcast. I'm so hungry right now.
I assumed his name was Darth Virgin.
Come on, you're talking dirty tome right now.
She's like, what do you got in your mouth?
And I got a fruit by the foot, hanging halfway down to my lap.
I like to eat my. Calories.
Not drink them. All right, hello, hello, and

(00:25):
welcome back to episode 76 of Conversational Humor with Pawn
and Balrog. This is Pawn across from me, I
guess, and I'm Balrog. As you know, today is Tuesday,
July 15th of 2025, and we're going to be talking about the
rules we hated as kids. Pawn, did you write your list
this week? You didn't text me at all.
No, I didn't text you at all. I, I, I spent 18 minutes total

(00:46):
on it and we'll find out if it'sgood or not.
Pawn and I were just offline talking about the next pub crawl
idea slash kicking around. A live show idea.
A live show, which I think wouldbe pretty cool.
For the fall Ponce we were talking, he said Banister would
probably try to commandeer a microphone.

(01:07):
Yeah, 100,000%. Mid show everybody would be
hammered except for us, but we'dprobably be getting drinks, I
said. We'll be getting drinks bought
for us like like he plays the ukulele at the at the old
Shilali. It would be funny with me trying
to read list ideas well like hammer and down fried Pickles.
Just just straight out swallowing.
Pickles, Spears, hole. The idea would be like intros,

(01:29):
appetizers, then two lists so he'd skip sports and puns that
the second list would be all downhill.
Cause oh, it'd be. Horrible.
It'd be Hammer. Yeah, yeah.
So we would do like a draft and a list like maybe vice versa
order, but we would do a a draftstyle show and a list.
I'll show all in one. Could do bar food draft at a
bar. Bar food draft at a bar and I'll

(01:50):
like solid it's I'll order all of.
Those. Things every time.
Pun draft something. He's got to eat it.
I'm going to go with the chickenwings. 12 piece garlic.
Parm, you'll be drafting off a menu alive, so if you're
interested in coming to see us at a live show, reach out to us
because we need to probably fillthe place with like 50-60

(02:12):
people. All right, today we're talking
about the rules we hated as kids.
And, you know, you always hear people say things were better
back in the day. Yes.
Except for these rules, because that no one thinks about the
rules we had to live by and abide by.
You just think about the good times.
Back I thought of someones that I'm actually mad at my mom
about. Well, I was writing them.

(02:33):
I'm like, dude, that was a crap.That's.
So funny you said that because Ithought the same exact thing.
I just didn't want to call Mama Baylog out on the podcast, you
know? Yeah, I'm, I'm pissed.
I'm calling her out. Calling her right out.
People said things I thought I was laughing last week and you
said like you're only allowed tohave one pack of Swiss rolls
after after dinner instead of the whole box.
I got a couple, I got a food oneon there.

(02:54):
I got so it's funny though because people say things are so
much better now and I saw a funny meme that said I just want
to go back to a time when AI metAllen Iverson instead of
artificial intelligence and. I'm funny, I actually got a
great story about AII. Just seen Instagram reel that
was a teacher, elementary schoolteacher for younger kids.

(03:17):
I don't know a grade, maybe first, second, third grade
picture but. Sorry I just took a drink of
myself so I was thinking I. Got 1.
I got pun. I was like you.
Want a seltzer water? He's like, yeah, grab me any
flavour and I grab one and he goes, he goes, this is the worst

(03:39):
taste in saltzer ever. What is this flavour and what'd
you say? Lemon cello?
He goes lemon salao. I got lemon cello.
Anyhow, your AI story I thought.So I've seen, I've finally seen
a cool AI story. This was a teacher teaching
young kids, and she was using AIto show them what they would

(04:02):
look like in their chosen profession at the time.
So a young girl wanted to be a veterinarian.
So it just a eider looked identical.
It's crazy how good AI is. But she's wearing a lab coat and
holding the dog, obviously. But I just thought that was like
the coolest thing to like, hey, you want to be a firefighter?
This is what you would actually,because when you visualize
something, you're far more likely to do it.

(04:22):
I thought it was really cool. You say AI.
If anybody knows how to use AI but do you know how to make
those baby videos? I know how to make babies.
Wow. You've proven to be adequate at
that. Adequate at best.
You know the the videos of like Joe Rogan and Theo Von?
In the movies, yeah. I don't know how to make those.
Those are my favorite. If anybody knows how, I'd like
to turn one of our wheels into one, so if you know how to do

(04:42):
that, hit me up. Yeah, those are very good.
Make sure to click, like click subscribe, leave us a five star
on our podcast. We are still trying to get
famous. I saw something that made us
think we, I we still can't get famous.
Even if you're not sharing, our episodes said hey, have you ever
seen a commercial for Chinese food?
So true. They just have good stuff and

(05:02):
they got famous. Update on update on the
Remember, we talked about the cruise ship.
We have to talk about the baby who fell over.
Save it for appetizers. Pawn.
We have to address this. Let me just quickly say, if you
haven't listened, go back and listen to our episode 75 on the
reasons you can't date our daughters.
Pawn. What?

(05:22):
Would that do? Sometimes your writing is so
brilliant I just have to give you credit dude, your first one
out of the gate after you got done screaming about how you're
going to shoot kids in the face and stuff.
Like you turn it away from what about your daughter and made it
all about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep, I listened to us at the gymand Fun said if you come in if

(05:45):
you're a fat shamer. And I'm like at.
First I was like, dude, what areyou about to say?
Don't be saying shit about your daughter or something like no
they're. Tiny.
Pun's kids are beautiful. And then he's like you said, I'm
on the couch shirtless with Cinema Toast Crunch.
I was crying, dude, so good, that's so good.
And I was sitting at the gym going.
This isn't about Pun's daughter at all.
He's. Faded about.
Yes, that's correct. Yeah, yeah.

(06:07):
I try to do that with every listwhere I like.
Circle it back to myself and youjust seem like a lunatic.
So good, I get into our appetizer section.
Now you have the floor about babies falling off cruise ships.
Update on that. We have to talk about this
because the biggest thing was weall, we everybody, including
social media, kind of shamed thedad.

(06:28):
Just recap very quickly. So 4 year old, I'm hoping that
is right. We'll figure it out if it's not.
But a young child four stories up sitting on a balcony, sitting
on a railing of a balcony and and falls in.
Everybody said the dad set her up there and turned his back.
She fell, he dove and saved her.It was a great story.

(06:50):
Well. Don't tell me there's foul play
involved. Better the dad, the dad, better
news the dad. The dad didn't cause her to fall
over at all. In fact, the dad wasn't even
paying attention. It was the mom who alerted the
so we don't know. We don't know how she got up

(07:11):
there. It doesn't even matter at this
point. But the dad had his back turned
doing something else and the momsaid hey Rick or whatever his
name is, Little Mary just fell over.
He didn't even ask a question, he just dove over.
That's the worst prank ever. Oh, yeah, no, no, she's right
there at the ice cream. She's getting a swirl.

(07:32):
The baby is waving as he's falling into the wall.
Yeah. How come they're not?
How come cruise ships aren't birthday cake shaped?
Here we are. Steph and I went to the Grand
Canyon in 2018 and I'm deadly afraid of heights.
Yeah, I am. Too, There were parts of it that
were like a sheer drop. But listen to me.
There's this other trail we walked down called the Bright

(07:53):
Angel Trail. And it's, you know, the Grand
Canyon's what, like 1500 feet deep or something like that.
But you zigzag back and people were like, aren't you scared of
that trail? But I said, even if you fell,
you would fall into trees that are like 1520 feet below you on
the next level. So how come cruise ships aren't
like that? That was the longest way of me
asking you that question. Oh, here's.
Here's the thing. You're the engineer, OK?

(08:17):
You're asking a truck driver whya boat doesn't.
I don't know, Andy. I just called this lemon cello.
I don't know how to pronounce words.
Let alone Desire saying is why do they have sheer drops on
cruise ships man seems insane tome.
I don't know something about thebuoyancy.
Why don't they? That could be true.
Why don't they? My brother-in-law is a naval

(08:38):
architect. He knows what you idiot you.
Guys are dummy hideous engineer ever.
They should just have something that funnels toddlers into that
big swirly slide that just boom pops them out the other end.
Wow, shoots them right out into the kiddie.
Pool we see who or shoots them right onto the ocean.
I thought you meant let's find out who the most heroic parents
are. We're going to find out, kids,
because your dad thinks he's tough.

(08:58):
Let's see if he can save. Little Ethan just got shot 80
feet across the Atlantic. All right, so I got out here,
bro. Go ahead.
I'm going to interrupt you one more time.
Bring it home. Cruises or not, cruise vacation
booked for the for the wedding in the Dominican Republic told.
You to wait. Man, got a pretty good deal.
Well, I didn't. I didn't pull the trigger on

(09:19):
flights only because they're, they're, you know, they price
them so high so far. You booked the resort.
You booked the resort, of course.
Yeah, booked the resort, not theflights.
That also shows your age becauseyou guys are still going to
weddings. Steph and I are in the divorce
area with our our friendships. Going to a divorce party in
Honolulu. Next weekend, counseling a
buddy. Next weekend at a bar with some
Budweiser, some Bud Heavies. Also, you know, what's funny is

(09:42):
typically when, when I think of vacations, I only envision the
cost in time in terms of family only meaning, meaning like I'm
always like, well, we need to prepare.
We need several months of, of, of budgeting and being and
preparing for this because it's a big trip taking a lot of

(10:03):
people. But as I was looking at these
all inclusive resorts, I was like, it is so affordable for
you and your wife to sneak away for a Thursday through Sunday or
a Thursday through Monday. There's no doubt about it.
I, it's, it's, it's you as you're sitting there listening,
especially if you have kids, you, you probably look at
vacations a little different. But if you just go on Expedia or

(10:26):
whatever site you use and just look at a Thursday through
Sunday or a Thursday through Monday, you can go to an all
inclusive 4:00-ish star resort. The only problem is is that I've
looked at stuff like that but you have to either lay over
which means you're traveling like all day two of the days
yes, or spend up for that directflight which.

(10:47):
Is expensive, but yeah it is. I don't know why I just always
assume I never. My brain has never been like,
Hey, let's take a four day weekend and do something like an
all inclusive. I just never I'm always like,
Hey, let's sneak away here. That's you're thinking, what's
something a couple hours? How many day weekend did you
say? Just like a Thursday through
Sunday or a Thursday through Monday, I.

(11:09):
Think a Thursday through Monday would be the minimum you get
away with? Yeah, I give you Friday,
Saturday, Sunday, full days. There I think, well if you can
get in at 1:00 because you can'tcheck in till 3:00 anyways, you
get in at 1:00 Thursday. I've already peed in the pool
three times. By 1:00 I'm I'm I'm getting a
flight. I'm getting there at 1:00
Thursday. Then you got Thursday, Friday,

(11:29):
Saturday, half the day. Sunday you come home and you
just man up. Monday you don't burn no
vacation. Day to Monday, you said, Or
Friday to Monday? Thursday to Monday, you gotta do
Thursday to Monday. Let's check it out, Pun.
I mean, let's listen, it's reasonable.
I'm down. Hey all inclusive resorts are
what life is all you. Think when you think a long

(11:50):
weekend, you think Vegas or you think like we're going to
Buffalo, NY. What do you need there?
You don't think an all inclusivefor a quick getaway, but there
are now the resort we're stayingat.
It's not it's not financially smart.
You might as well you go for theweek and not for the.

(12:11):
New pub crawl idea, Caribbean all inclusive.
We're hitting each of the buffets.
Hell yeah. I I bet you honestly, just
because people love vacation so much, we could probably get 10
couples to get so mad at. Because if I was, if I listen to
a show, even if whether I knew the people or not and they were

(12:33):
like, hey, we're doing a Caribbean vacation hangout.
I'd be like, what dates? What dates?
Because I got time. So just quickly happy belated
4th of July I saw from the Tinder blog.
I just said that 'cause I have acouple 4th of July stories for
you. From the Tinder blog.
Well, I saw this meme from the account Tinder blog, said my

(12:55):
Speaking of the 4th, it said my unemployed neighbor with an
unlimited firework budget would like to wish everybody a happy
10th of July. Isn't that so true?
Sometimes I see people laying off fireworks and I'm like how
does this? Guy, how do you afford that?
They're lighting off like thousands.
I'm not exaggerating. If you've ever purchased
fireworks, it's thousands of. Dollars, but that is some people

(13:15):
are very passionate about it andthey just save all your all year
man you just tuck away they. Probably buy them on the 5th of
July for the following. For the following yeah they
spend 5 grand this year so and you throw on a $10,000 show next
year. So Stefan, I had Chad and Trisha
over and their kids. Had a nice invited.
And was not invited. I think you were at your
building a deck. I was.
Yeah, we were at our pool, the community pool.

(13:37):
So the style for kids nowadays, what I'm wearing flip flops
right now, Bong flip flops, style for kids, socks and
cracks. Yes, kids are walking around the
pool wearing socks and sandals and there was one kid who had
flipped the sandals off went to grab something just walking
around socks dude at a pool. There was nothing.

(13:57):
It was like 100° and this kids wearing socks up to almost his
knees like what's happening right now.
You know how you have like fashions that you never change?
You do some things now that no matter what comes in style,
you're. Going to wear.
I will never wear socks at a pool and I also saw a dude with
the bathing suit. You know, for the rest of my
days I'll be wearing mid thigh bathing suit, correct?
Yep. It was like probably 15 years
ago where we were wearing bathing suits like below.

(14:19):
Below our knee like and one shorts do you remember and 1
short I saw like so far down. Five year old guy walking around
with him and I'm like, that doesnot look refreshing or relaxing
at all. You're fighting with your
bathing suit at a. Pool that's a style you can look
back and reflect. Although I was never an overly
baggy, but I was definitely kneeor like I was I wore bigger

(14:41):
shorts too like I was definitelypart of the bag, but not how
some people, some people wore them like dude, you couldn't
even see their ankle. You're like dude, man.
Speaking of, oh, we didn't, we didn't even mention this, but.
Oh, Speaking of something we didn't mention.
Yes, kids being ungrateful. I I, I do 'cause they little way

(15:04):
they treat those socks, they're very oh.
Yeah. But I took everybody to the
Tigers game. Sunday rules we had.
When we were kids, no walking around.
In socks outside. Oh my God, if my mom would have
caught me walking around in my socks outside.
Death. So you went to the Tigers game?
So my I'm laying on the couch. My daughter says, hey, Luke and
I are thinking about going to the Tigers game.

(15:24):
You guys want to go? So I was like, you know what?
Yeah, why not? So of course now she offers.
I got to buy her to her and her boyfriend's tickets too.
You know, you got to buy everybody's ticket.
So I look, I end up spending a couple of bucks and then I, I
feed everybody parking. You're a couple of $100 invested
in the state. And by the 5th inning they were

(15:48):
asking was everybody ready to go?
It was two to two, bottom of thesixth and they want to go.
I'm 507 dollars invested and it's the damn best team in the
MLB. It's tied up.
Bottom of the sixth and you wantto go cuz you're hot.
I wanted to be on the couch. I bought you a $19.00. 80 That's

(16:10):
so funny because you were texting with Banister and me
that day and you were like, oh, we've already left the park.
And I looked at the score and I was like.
It was 8. You what?
It was 8 to 2. When you left.
So what it was was everybody wascomplaining and then an inning
or two went by, they scored 3-4 and then they scored.
It was like 7 to 2, bottom of the eighth, and I was like,
well, let's go to the. It was out of reach.

(16:31):
But think about what you just said quickly for the tigers.
That's why families can't go to lions.
Game no you're. Still spending that on parking.
You're probably saying more to park.
Yep, same for food and booze, but now the tickets are like $85
each instead of 15. I bought six of them.
I I scoured and I found the nosebleediest of Nosebleed seats

(16:51):
for 40 a pop and then to parkingis 40 bucks and then taking them
to the concession stands was 100bucks.
Then a round of ices because it was 90 something.
It was hot. It was really hot.
Then everybody wanted ices. That's another 75 bucks.
Then you want a shirt you want like it's it's just 500 bucks.
We grew up without a ton of money rules we had when we were

(17:14):
kids. My dad would take us to the
Tigers game and we could each get one thing.
One thing, yes. What was your go to I?
Wanted. That's why I brought it up.
I want to. Know talking food item.
Any food, drink, anything. I my go to was this is going to
sound horrible. I was a plain hot dog guy, but I
wanted to. I wanted to have AI wanted.

(17:37):
Was a middle-aged man long before long before he was a
middle-aged man. I wanted to have a hot dog at
the ballpark and if if it wasn'ta hot dog, it was the bag of
peanuts. Mine was definitely since you
asked the. Hey, would you line up?
I would get the. The the tub of chocolate ice
cream with the wooden spoon. Oh, I forgot about that.
Man, I like live for. That didn't they come in

(17:58):
miniature hats for a while too? The ice cream I think came in
the little baby D hat The. Wood spoon so good.
Nostalgic. Yep, Pun was 8 years old.
He can't be putting ketchup on ahot dog.
I actually got it pal. I got a plain hot dog again
Sunday. I get into our ES and OS

(18:20):
section. I'll make this very quick pun
from episode 75. The reason you can't date our
daughters. I mentioned that they can't be
wearing a tether. I mentioned it very, very
quickly and we glazed over it because it was on my list.
Stephanie and I were at the at apool.
I think it was at the Flamingo pool in Vegas once.
No way somebody had a. Tether and some dude had a

(18:41):
tether on. Can you even get that thing wet?
I think that he was just sittingpoolside and his group was in
the pool and I was. Like he must have lived it or
maybe he had a work comp. How do you get permission, I
don't know to go to the full I look at?
Stuff And I remembered this whenwe started writing the list and
I looked at her and said, how doyou ask a girl out when you're

(19:01):
when you're like, what if they just started dating?
Huge. Your nose got to be huge.
Damn they. Say about guys with big feet,
huh? Big mismatched socks.
Also, the last thing I have on here is that kids nowadays, you
kind of like glossed over it 'cause you said you can't drive
on a motorbike or a moped to pick her up.
Yes, unless you live in Key West.

(19:22):
Right, exactly. What's with kids not having
driver's licenses? Yeah, that's a weird.
Yeah, I don't know. Kids are just kids.
Wait till. 1819. To get but they have they have
access to Uber. That's the again, that's some.
Creepy middle-aged guy that eatsplaying hotdogs driving around.
I blame the parents. I blame the parents.
I just, I will too, just becausemy daughter got hers the day she

(19:43):
turned 16. We have talked about this
before. I do not want to be a hovering
parent at this age. I've been an active, involved
parent my whole life. My kids are older now.
I want to reap some benefits from that.
I want to be like. I'm more of a supervisor right
now. OK, I don't want to give rides

(20:03):
to my 18 year old daughter. There's no way.
I just, I'm not getting up at 8:00 because you got to work on
Sunday and you make 950 an hour.Find your own ride.
Both of your girls have their license?
Yes, and they had it at 16. Yes, both at 16 ish, give or
take a couple. Of and your son's gonna be
learning in like a year. My son I actually almost bought.

(20:26):
14 3/4 you can. Yes, I when I bought the I
bought Lauren, the Jeep Cherokee.
I almost bought a new pickup truck with the idea of like when
I pay this thing off I could just pass it down.
Steph and I were talking the other day about what we're gonna
give our son to drive and we're like, I was like, damn, dude,
that's in two. Years.
I didn't think about that with my daughters at all.
By the way, if we're talking my favorite, I was like, man, he'd

(20:49):
look good in a nice dad. Your.
Daughters just wanted something with some metal.
I just want something safe. Get him a Subaru because they're
chaotic. Although Brianna drives very
safe. You how many girls be hitting on
if they're driving a Subaru? Yeah, it's true.
That's true with kayaks up top. No, leave it.
Last thing I got out of here, the last thing for ease and

(21:10):
nose, I just had to make a public service announcement.
Do you remember what I bought todo the weed?
My sidewalk cracks. Weed Flamethrower.
A freaking flamethrower was badass.
It worked. It worked slowly.
Our phones listened to us. I saw a article on Facebook.
This actually happened in Michigan.
Salem Township home lost their entire house.

(21:32):
Because some dead gutting weeds with flamethrower.
This is why you can't have a couple cocktails.
You can't have soda pops. All I'm saying is public service
announcement from the Conversational Humor LLC Don't
go that hard with your flamethrowers.
The funniest part of all this islike he you know when he burnt
the house down, he probably for the past several weeks have been

(21:55):
trying to get the kids to watch him right This time, no ones
paying attention. He's got his headphones in and
he's probably just ohh yeah it caught a Bush.
Now they live in a Motel 8 till insurance built them and
they'll. Try to justify it to his life.
Yeah, I'm sorry, my dude. Sorry, we haven't had a weed.

(22:17):
We haven't had a weed around thehouse.
And monk you. Didn't mind it when the house
look perfect now. Now it looks like haunted.
I'm joking. I knew a dad was going to burn
his house. Now I we got going back to the
ballpark thing. Do you remember the group text
with Bannister and yourself and and and me in it?
I. Think you were the only one that
might have been slightly buzzed.I spread.

(22:38):
Well, you never know about Bannister.
So much misinformation at Comerica Park.
I like personally. All right, I have to.
So Bannister. Bannister texted and said.
Hey, listening to the pod, I read this as he's saying this in
the current tense. He's typing this in the past
tense, the cruise ship story. So he's telling a story about

(23:02):
one time he was on a cruise ship.
Mind you, I'm reading this in the present tense, saying like,
hey, we had to stop. We turned very hard.
We had to go rescue some down fisherman whose boats capsized.
I'm reading this at the ballparkat the urinal with Jackson in
the urinal next to me. I'm reading my watch, my hand is

(23:23):
on the wall. This is a true story.
My hand is on the wall. I'm reading my watch while I'm
taking a leak. I look over at Jackson and I
start to tell him this story. The guy 2 stalls down, it's like
not being rude but he's like invested now because he's like
capsized ship fisherman down. He's invested.
We wash our hands. I'm still reading Bannister's

(23:44):
text message. We walk out.
So I have now told this random dude that I don't know, he's
invested. I know he walked back to his
section and told everybody, there's a, there's a down,
there's fishermen dying everywhere.
Royal Caribbean stopped in a saving.
It's like listen, I don't know if you guys know this but a
Royal Caribbean 5 minutes ago did a hairpin.

(24:06):
A hairpin turn save 3 fishermen so I spread around.
I'm sure it made it to cable news by now.
Royal Caribbean saves 3 fishermen and, and that guy,
he's probably like, dude, you know, he went back to his seat
and he's like on CNN, he's on Fox, he's on NBC.
He cannot find the story anywhere.
This is source at the bottom. This is Buzz middle-aged man at
Comerica Park urinal. Get into our sports section.

(24:32):
I'm going to make this quick. Did you see Alex Caruso shirt?
I forgot to mention this last time at the victory parade for
the OKC Thunder he had a T-shirtAlex Greer had AT shirt made
with the Mount Rushmore and his face was on all four spots.
The greatest flex ever. I I meant to bring that up.
Wait, did we, were we here? Did we record when OK C won

(24:56):
last? We.
Recorded after OK. CI wanted to bring up how cool
they interacted with their fans after the game after like no, at
the parade they were like dancing in high, like they were
in the crowd, not being pretentious like.
Tom Brady almost threw the trophy into the bottom of the
Atlantic Ocean. Bro, can we talk about Tom Brady

(25:16):
here for a minute? Somebody's got this guy's on a
generational run. Dude, I we got to stop.
I thought for sure you'd be like, you know what pisses me?
You got to stop him. The rich get richer. 7 Super
Bowls. Sydney Sween.
Sofia Vergara. Oh, Sofia Vergara.
That's right. I mean, come on Tom, but your
damn problem he got. Bored of Cindy Sweeney in like a
week. He was like, what did 20 year

(25:37):
olds talk about? I'm going.
To go find. Out.
Imagine you're the wife, Giselle, and you're like, hey,
you got to stop playing footballor I'm going to divorce you and
he ends up winning the Super Bowl.
But go, I'm going to use my words carefully.
He goes and finds a younger supermodel who looks slightly
similar to you, throws her out the window, Goes to Sydney

(26:01):
Sweeney, throws her out the window, goes to Sofia Vergara,
tosses her out the window. I.
Thought when she because didn't she like date that like wasn't
it like her trainer she. Cheated on him with her jujitsu
coach. So I thought when that happened,
I was like, we're about to see the biggest jealousy.
Who can you bang feud in the history of it all with them.

(26:23):
Like he kept his hair in through.
He kept it. Listen fellas, if anything bad
ever happens in your marriage, just refer to Tom Brady in the
class in elegance. He handed that with he didn't
badmouth her. He didn't bash her.
He just agreed with her and said, you know what, Giselle,
you're right, I'll sign the papers.

(26:44):
And he just showed up with the younger Giselle and then he won
a super. Bowl, let me just quickly get to
the Caitlin Clark thing that I confused you on last week
because I said let me tell you about Caitlin Clark.
And then I immediately switched to MMA.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want to say it annoys me
that somehow Pun was so far ahead of the rest of the world

(27:05):
on Caitlin Clark on this podcast.
And Page Becker's as well. It annoys me that you didn't get
notoriety for it or the podcast didn't get notoriety for it.
Like we must have been the firstpeople with like transcribed
episodes dropping, you know? Wow, it's my fault.
I was clipping it out. I kept.
You were clipping it out this whole time.

(27:31):
This guy is a real piece of shit.
We could have been famous already because the reason I put
it on here is because I heard someone say Jason Whitlock said
he thinks Caitlin Clark is the biggest story in sports right
now. Who do you hate more than
anybody right now? Angel Reese because of Caitlin,
yes. And but you know what though, do

(27:52):
you? Know who got so famous recently?
Because they defended Caitlin Clark in a game.
What's her teammate? Sophia Cunningham.
Yeah, she body checks some girl that followed Caitlin Clark, and
I wrote it down. Pun.
I think it's Sophie, not Sophie.Sophie.
Sophie Cunningham. Sophie Cunningham played the
Rick Mahorn role and her TikTok went up to over 1,000,000.

(28:13):
She was trending it she already she what'd she have like 100,000
She had a concern. Overnight, she went from 307
followers 307,000 to 865,000 from following one girl in
basketball and her jerseys sold out for two months of future.
Orders. Overnight.
Imagine. Who buys it WBH?

(28:33):
Imagine if you let me geek out on all the other girls I wanted
to geek out on. Georgia Amor Page backers,
Sabrina Ianescu. There's a shit ton of them.
You just don't watch. And her sponsorship?
Sophie cutting out a sponsorshipwent from being worth $10,000
per to over $30,000 per. Nice.

(28:56):
It's not a ton ton of money. Well, every sponsorship, but
what I'm saying. Is a single post for $30,000 is
not a lot of money? Imagine your it went up 3 1/2
times. Imagine your salary going up 3
1/2 times. That's what happened to her
overnight. I'd be living.
I'd be your neighbor in Gross Point Woods.
You'd have that what? Was the fish restaurant here
Long John Silvers? No, I do.

(29:18):
Pun still lives pretty modestly,but he's owns a couple Long John
Silver's. But Sophie Cunningham did say,
by the way, we're going to, we are going to be able to meet
Caitlin Clark soon. Why?
On Detroit when they play against the Detroit Hybrid
Electric vehicles, baby. Sophie Cunningham caught a lot
of Flack for that. You know about that, right?

(29:39):
Yeah, that's what I was going tosay.
Detroit. Sophie Cunningham said who?
Who? I don't know how many people are
going to be excited going to Detroit or Cleveland.
So, Sophie Cunningham, I love you for sticking up for Caitlin
Leclark, but fuck off. I mean, in her, in her defense,
you got to think of it especially like if you've
travelled and played a lot of basketball, your destination

(30:01):
cities are never going to be Cleveland, Detroit or Montana.
You're just not. You're not thinking of of States
and cities that are, that are boring in Detroit from the
outside. If you're not familiar with the
revitalization that's happening in downtown, you probably think
Detroit's a crap hole. It's the best.
It's the best, but there's no way Sophie Cunningham would know
that. She got to give her a little

(30:21):
slack on that. Do you know why Detroit's the
This is a rabbit hole we can't get into.
Detroit's the perfect hybrid between a crap hole.
And. I was gonna say a Vegas and a
nice city like, call it like a Charlotte North.
Carolina, it's like me as a person.
It's like. I'm a little trashy.
I'm a little class. Exactly.
It's affordable and you can get why.

(30:43):
You know, many times we would have been arrested in Charlotte
if we acted the way we acted downtown Detroit, like all of
them. Can you get crazy?
Have you ever been to a partied in Charlotte?
I did once. Everyone, everybody was wearing
summer dresses. They all had Bobcats.
Shirts, they were wearing the sparry shoes.
I was like, I was like, well, I don't fit in here.
They're sophisticated. By the way, you didn't like you

(31:05):
didn't like my idea for the teamname.
I actually wrote the we should. Name it electric vehicles.
W Wall, Detroit Pistons. I work for a oil company.
So I said we could name them theDetroit Hybrid Electric
Powertrain Vehicles. All right, it's list time, baby.
Oh, list time. Hey mom, remember when you told

(31:26):
me it was illegal to turn the light on in the car when it was
night time? Do you remember when you said
I'd go to prison for that? Were you lied?
Because it's not illegal at all.In fact, it's encouraged.
All the same thing. That's why we got lights, so you
can see when it's dark. You fib to me mom, and you owe

(31:47):
me a damn. Apologies.
So dumb rule. That is so good, we used to beg
my dad to turn them on the back of our Astro man.
Dude, he said. We go to jail.
Oh my God. I think it was also because of
glare. Yeah yeah for sure.
I'm pretty sure they said you could get pulled over by the
police for having the interior lights on while driving.

(32:09):
I. My whole life I thought it was a
felony. The 80s were a reckless time.
You're telling me that's going to get us put into jail?
We. Didn't even have seat belt.
They let us ride in the back of station wagons with no.
Seat belt trucks. Say we're smoking cigs with the
windows up and we can't turn thelight on.
Fun. There were ashtrays in the back
of the backseat. Seats.
There were those 4. Yes.

(32:29):
The kids are smoking or you're like you, we should go on a
double date. You guys want a cigarette back
there? Anybody want a dart?
Hey Dad, I dropped my water. Can I turn the light on?
Oh God, no, no, that's. Against the you could die.
That's that's so funny, dude. Peppers, they had those ashtrays
with like the WAVY aluminum bars.
Yeah, so you can like hold the cigarette like a like a bowling

(32:52):
alley. That's so funny.
Dude chief in Marlboro Lights and I can't turn the light.
All right, so for my first one Iwent to the obvious one that
popped in my head immediately, and it's the waiting an hour
after you eat to swim. I.

(33:12):
What? Was that?
I think there is some validity to like 10 minutes, isn't it?
Isn't there some validity to a small amount of time?
Wait. My mom, my mom, it was 30
minutes. You had to wait 30.
Minutes. My mom and dad made us wait.
Not probably not 30 minutes, butthey made us probably wait 10.
Why? Probably because someone's kid
named Timmy got motion sick and vomited in the pool one day.

(33:35):
Yeah, that was the worst. Everybody had to get out.
Dude, there's nothing worse thanlike a hot day.
You're with your friends, you'rehaving fun, you get out to eat a
plain hot dog, and then you can't get back in the pool.
Mid Sprint down the beach, your mom's like stop right there.
You're holding a red Fago can and a bag of Doritos.
Yeah. The having to wait to get in the

(33:56):
pool and the other one, I have them kind of in the same
category is. So between that and Adult Swim,
you went to pools. I know I didn't do it either
when I was little. I forgot about Adult Swim.
We grew up in the hood. You had to get out of the pool
when the adults there was like a10 minute window it.
Was like 10 or 15 minutes per hour.
So yeah, it was adults only. Every quarter of an hour, all

(34:18):
the kids had to like, just sit there.
Why didn't we plan our mealtimesfor that mom?
Exactly. So our parents would hit us with
that. I think that the the goal was to
not have us in the pool as often.
Yeah. And the kids would just sit at
the edge of the pool, sweating into the concrete.
Oh my. Staring at the parents, just
waiting. There's still something
nostalgic and beautiful about a public pool.

(34:39):
Oh dude, there's just. Something great.
My sister, sister of the pod, lives in Virginia.
It's so hot down there. All the neighborhoods have
pools. Yeah, yeah, it's so hot down
there. All the neighborhoods have pools
and no one uses them. They're like empty people just
stay inside in August. But it's so good.
They they were religious about Adult swimming my whole life.
I forgot about adult. Swim.
I was like adult swimming when Iwas a kid.

(35:00):
And then we were there and the and the lifeguard blew the
whistle. Oh yeah.
Who's breaking the? Rules.
What little fat shit is that in the pool?
Get out, fat boy. Adults only blew the whistle.
Go eat a Twinkie. I was like, what's the whistle
for? My sister goes, it's Adult Swim.
All the kids got to get out and I was like, this is the lap of
luxury here. We had the pool.
I was like, now it made sense. My next Well, since you know,

(35:23):
you know I'm always going to go food.
You want to know which rule pissed me off more than
anything? What, you got the fact that I
couldn't just house an extra large pepperoni, bacon and
garlic parm crust pizza anytime I want it?
You mean to tell me I got to have a plain salami sandwich
with some carrots? This is the stupidest rule.
Ever mom? I thought you when you were

(35:43):
younger bro. You didn't eat no carrot.
I wouldn't eat carrots. Nothing like that.
I was sneaking Swiss rolls, baby.
How old were you when you were able to eat a whole pizza?
Oh shit. Three No.
He was still wearing a cloth. Diapers.
I don't know. I bet you somewhere in the late

(36:03):
teens I don't. Think I ever have?
Eaten a whole one, a whole 1 I don't I.
Can eat a lot of pizza. I can eat a lot of pizza too.
I don't know that I've ever in one city so.
When we were at Wayne State my freshman year.
No one had money. So there was a Little Caesar's
at Wayne State and they had hot and ready's for 5 bucks.
It's a large pizza, whatever it is. 8 pieces.

(36:24):
Yeah, I don't. Know and on Wednesdays, they had
wild Wednesdays in the student center.
So you got your pizza for $2.50 for a college kid who has no
money. Not only didn't we have money,
we were also in debt. Yeah, everybody, the whole
campus. He put them in freezer bags.
So I was with Sean and Steve were my like best friends my
freshman year at college. And we'd go in there and I'd be
like, who wants to split a hot and ready buck 25 each bro?

(36:46):
And they both looked at me and they were like, cool being a
bitch. We're eating our own.
Pizza in our house, you. Guys eat a whole pizza, dude, so
I never had anybody to split a pizza with.
You know what you guys should have done though?
You should have bought several hot and readies and just put
them in freezer bags and froze the pizza.
That's brilliant. And popped them out.
Those are things you only know as an adult, as a college kid.
You know a pack a pack of freezer bags cost you'd never

(37:09):
ever spending 8 bucks on freezerbags.
Which ones are just a quart size?
You know what pisses me off? What I went, we went out to eat
yesterday we took my brother-in-law out for his
birthday dinner. They have Monday night is half
off pizzas upon. I got pepperoni and yellow
pepper. Oh, good.
Delicious. That's a great combo.
Delicious. Yeah, you toss a little
mushroom. They brought me out this pizza.
It's the rectangle square pieces, you know.

(37:30):
Yep, each piece of pizza had twopepperonis in the middle of each
piece, stacked on top of each other.
Oh no. I was like what is this?
We don't do any spacing around here.
We don't do spacing and you're you're counting pepperonis
counting them. I I like the pizza places that
just. Oh yeah, just sprinkle me just.
Throw them everywhere. I want the toppings fairy to

(37:53):
just sprinkle it everywhere it was.
You know what I did on the way home from that dinner?
Stopped at Kroger and got a bag of pepperonis.
Did you you put them in the air?I can put them in the air fryer,
dude. That's how you that's how you
know you're amazing. So my next one would be I'm
going to stick on the food for aminute.
We never ever could stop for fast food unless it was an

(38:16):
occasion like I do. You know how much I would beg
for like a Taco Bell or Hey, mom, let's go to McDonald's.
Hey, mom, never. We got McDonald's at home.
That was the No, we don't. Mom, you don't make your burgers
like them at all. Your French fries taste nothing
like McDonald's French fries. You're using real potatoes.

(38:38):
I don't know what McDonald's uses, but it ain't real potatoes
and it tastes better. We also never got.
Fat no. We got it.
Very, very rarely we drive to the wine dot McDonald's.
Oh yeah, still there. Because the one by us was a
little bit you never knew what you were getting out of the
window of that place. Enough said.
You did have a play escape though.
With a swirly slide bro and one of those grimace prisons or.

(39:03):
Oh yeah, because he was the Hamburglar or.
Maybe it was the Hamburglar. Prison Hamburglar.
But back then like burgers were $0.25 or $0.40 ham.
Straight hamburgers were like 30cents.
What do you mean you didn't haveMcDonald's money?
We ate in bulk, dude. We when we went out to eat, we
got pizza. Oh yeah, we would always go to

(39:25):
Vito's. My if we, if, when and if my mom
did go fast food, she would buy a bag of hamburgers or Taco Bell
when they had the like you get the 20 soft tacos and she just
distribute 2 soft tacos to everybody and you get 2 you get
2 You get like I mean, but she conscious.
OK, Mom. Well, every time I talk to Pawn,
he's got another sibling I was unaware of.

(39:46):
Yeah, yeah, she was feeding. A lot.
My mom adopted a lot of kids. She was a wonderful, she is a
wonderful human. Mama Crane.
Ours was similar to. I'll just piggyback that one and
your pizza. One of my mom controlled our
sweets intake. I used to think it was because
we didn't have any money for thestuff.
But my mom, it probably was a little bit of that, but it was
more my mom was very conscious of how much sugar we were

(40:09):
eating. Yes, when it was like night
time, we would get dessert. We'd always get snack, snack or
dessert before bed. And I'd be like, and my mom
would be like, everybody gets 2 fudge striped cookies.
I'd be like, but I really want, I want three.
I want like 13 fudge. Striped cookies Mom 2 Just.
Just wet in the palate. Hey, if Darlene listens our old

(40:30):
babysitter, I would like to formally apologize because every
time she babysat I would eat them all and blame it on her.
That's why I was a fat little shit.
My mom regulated sugar too, except she had to go to bed.
Okay. My mom would also buy she would
go shopping like once a month just because she bought in bulk.

(40:51):
Actually, I didn't realize we'd be.
Dragging around 2 grocery carts.Yeah, my mom went shopping in
bulk too. That's because your mom had a
lot of kids. My mom had four kids.
She didn't want to be dragging little kids to the grocery store
once a. Week, Yeah.
And she would get like one to two boxes of sweet cereal.
So we would fight over that sweet cereal like it was life.
You could whoever got left with the corn flakes.

(41:13):
Now I love corn. Flakes we just put sugar on.
Oh. You put sugar on it, we all.
Skirt the rules? Yep.
You just sprinkle sugar on. It I would always be like, oh,
we, you know, we never got sweetcereal because we grew up with
no money. But you ever seen the price of
Cheerios? Man, those are not cheap.
She did it because she was controlling our sugar.
That's correct you we would haveshe was at.
Feuds in the kitchen over who got the last bowl of sweet
cereal. It's a weird for the month you

(41:34):
get older and you recognize likeyour mom is right about
everything. I know my mom's.
Shaking. Except you know what my mom
wasn't right about? You know which rule?
That wasn't really a rule, but it was like subconsciously a
rule. If you, you couldn't run in and
out of the house once you left the house in the morning, you

(41:54):
you kind of had to stay out. Because if I kept running in and
out of my house, I would get, I would get in trouble.
I would get chores. My mom be like, oh, you can't
make a decision in or out. Go sweep the steps.
And now I'm grounded and I'm sweeping.
I've been outside. It's 97°.

(42:16):
I just need water. Mom, can I please just give me a
glass of water, please? Let me in such a good one.
You couldn't run in and out. When you're out, you're out.
She was like, it looks like you're holding a bit of water
weight actually. Sorry, that's a second fat joke
I've made. Mom, what do you got dates in

(42:36):
the house? Why can't I come in?
That is such a good one. That was in 90s Things I don't.
Yeah, you can't. Maybe because they're
conditioning. Yes.
They didn't want to let the air out, maybe.
We didn't. I think that our door was just
always slamming it back and forth.
I don't know why that bothered all parents in the 90s.
Going in and out was like, not a.
Thing, yeah, we didn't have AC growing up.
But you know what though? My dad finished the basement, I

(42:58):
was on the couch. Also I can remember fans being
reversed in the window, like blowing the hot air out.
So. So maybe we had AC, we just
didn't use it. Should.
Because nobody was paying those my mom had.
Her parents wouldn't pay for shit.
Your mom had one window unit in her bedroom.
Yeah, that's right. She's called.
It's a. It's a.
It's a polar vortex. So you're you're sleeping in an
adopted kids sandwich. I just could.

(43:24):
That's such a bad joke. Fun sleep between a bunch of
strangers sweating through the sheets.
Whatever your name is, get off of me.
Yeah, so bad. God bless people who doubt
people. Yeah, I just, I never understood
how any time I would run in and out, I would just end up
grounded or doing homework or doing chores.
How about the maybe the Topanga the list bedtimes?

(43:47):
Did you have bedtimes when you were little?
Yeah. I remember like going year to
year in grade school, pawn everybody increasing by 30
minutes. Yeah, it was like the best when
you could stay up late. And my parents were geniuses.
They used to let us watch this convicted woman abuser.
What was his? Name Bill Cosby.
Show Cosby. Show at our house was like, must

(44:09):
see television. And my mom and dad were so smart
because we were so dumb. We didn't realize that they
didn't care if we went to bed at8:00 or 8:30 at a certain age.
And they'd always be like, OK, you can stay up and watch a show
if you go get your pajamas on and brush your teeth and
quietly. Yeah.
So they, like, had it down to a science.
But bedtimes. And my brother was my brother's
three years older than me. My sister's two years older than

(44:29):
me and they would graduate to later bedtimes before me.
It was torture. It was like, I think, you know,
you always like don't get along with siblings in your middling
ages, Yes. And then your your best friends
when you're older. Yes.
I think it was the bedtime that started the animosity.
You know what's funny is you always imagine when you're going
to bed and your siblings are staying up.

(44:50):
You think like a dude. They're ordering pizza.
They're like talking about things I don't know about.
They're they're my mom's tellingall the family.
Secrets. Yeah, dirty jokes are
downstairs. They're cracking.
They're they? Living the life.
Mom's letting her have a Budweiser You you think like,
but really they're just sitting there quietly trying not to piss
Mom. They all get fudge Stripe cookie
number three. Yeah, I'm up here in my bed.

(45:10):
Like, dude, they're having so much fun down there and.
When it was my bedtime, my brother would just look at me
like this and give me that little grin as I'm walking up
the stairs. I was.
Like see you later. I hate his loser.
One time my son, he had a bedtime when he was younger.
I might have said this story before, and he's like, that's
not fair. Or I said, go get your pajamas
on and you can stay up a little bit later.
He's like, that's not fair. You don't wear pajamas.

(45:31):
And I was like, oh, Dad's alwayswearing his pajamas.
I get undressed to go to bed pal.
Or whatever boxer briefs I'm wearing that day.
That's Pajam Jams piggybacking off of not being able to run in
and out of the house. Then explain to me why I had to
be home when the streetlights were on, because that was my

(45:52):
time. Every single time the
streetlights came on. I'm playing Home Run Derby with
my friends with the tennis ball.I'm cranking home runs out and I
got to run home. Hey, hang on boys, let's finish
the game in a minute. I got to run home and beg if I
can stay out an extra 10 minutes.
Let's just say yes, you'd run. You'd run back, shatter the
shatter the home run record. I hit 80 dangers.

(46:14):
Guys play Home Run Derby with a tennis ball and A and a plastic
bat. No, no, no, no, no metal bat.
I'm hitting it 9840. Two guys a little bit hitting a
a golf ball with that's the crazy thing about the
streetlights. Thing is, remember, you can I
can even like close my eyes and hear the buzz of the street
lights coming on and you're like, yes.
And you're like, fuck. Yeah, the there was a there was

(46:35):
a smell and a sound. Yeah.
To the night. You're like, Oh my God, I could
like. You could like smell dusk when
it came. Is dusk at night time?
Yes. Yeah, Dawns.
Dawns of the day. Dusk to dawn.
Dusk. Yeah.
George Clooney. Yeah, you can.
So. Yeah.
But we grew up, you know? A little bit of a rougher area.
Rougher area. We grew up in the hood in Rouge,
and The funny thing is they werelike, you're home on the

(46:57):
streetlight trying. Although my parents were good
about letting us put a fasci tagon the block.
Yeah, we had to be on our block.Correct.
So being home. We were three cities over at
2:00 in the afternoon exactly. They didn't know where.
The hell you were now. Now as an adult you understand
why, but being home when the streetlights came on just meant
if you have a valid enough reason and enough friends to be
in front of the house or near the house, you can stay out a
little bit longer. I'll never I'll never forget the

(47:20):
first time my mom and dad let mestay out.
Oh, you were the man. That was like staying up late.
You were the older brother that night.
Dude flashlight. Whoever invented flashlight tag
is a genius too. You felt like it was an
adventure and there was a littlebit of risk you might get
kidnapped and died. Maybe Michael Myers was in the
shadows. All right, my next one I got.
Is it my turn of yours? Street lights your turn.

(47:42):
My next one is did you guys havefamily rules for who sat shotgun
in the car? Usually it just defaulted to
whoever was oldest. Always.
So there's two different types of households.
One household says whoever is the oldest gets shotgun.
And then there was a share. And then there was complete
anarchy and potential fights like our household whoever

(48:03):
yelled shotgun the loudest. So you had a true like that's a
real system. We had true system of I think my
mom. What's the word I'm looking for?
Like a true where the best will rise.
Oh the what's it called? Harbaugh.
I always used it for the full ball tape.
Somebody out there listening to the cars losing their shit.

(48:25):
My mom is probably brilliant because she there was a rule you
weren't allowed to say shotgun until like for school in the
morning. We went to Catholic school.
It was like a 1520 minute drive.You had to be outside to say the
word shotgun. Oh, so my mom was a genius.
I'm. A Bay log head.
I know all the smartest rules. She was just sitting there
filing her nails while we were. Scrambling like hell to get out

(48:49):
of. The house on time so that we
could yell the word shotgun on the front.
Porch and she's just like, look at this.
And that person got a shotgun. Every time these idiots are
dressed and teeth are brushing. Really, she'd be like, my
brother and my older sister would be in the car.
I'd be in the car and she'd be like, where the hell is Susie?
I had her taped up and locked inthe closet so she couldn't, she
couldn't yell. Shotgun dude.
I'm going to piggyback off taping up Susie and say you

(49:15):
didn't say you want to know a rule.
Piss me off. You weren't allowed to hit
siblings, but you weren't aroundwhen she just said what she just
said. She needs to get punched in the
mouth. Mom, you got to let me hit her.
You got to let me tackle her onetime.
Whoever was violent was the one that got in trouble, yeah.
They never. Care about the.
Stories and my older sister would like egg you on and like,

(49:37):
just dare you like, oh, what areyou?
What are you going to do? You're going to hit me and then
as soon as you like push her or shove her mom and get my ass
kicked. Dude, but we got our revenge.
Somehow. We got our revenge.
Like I remember we'd like all get bundled up to go out for
snow, play in the snow. And oh, you dunk them.
I was just looking at one of my.Sisters whitewash them as soon

(49:58):
as Oh yeah, Oh yeah as. Soon as you got one toe on the
front porch, it was just a snowball.
The face, dude. Where's Mom at now?
Your Mama not here to save you no more.
I can't. Hear your voice, because it
doesn't carry over all the snow.Yeah, so not hitting your
siblings pissed me off. Yeah, how about this one?
How about chores? I mean, it wasn't a rule, but we

(50:20):
had rules on. We had two rules for chores that
we had to. Do Saturday morning.
Saturday. So that was not just our house,
no. Saturday morning.
We had we had to do dishes afterdinner every night, which was
torture because in the summertime.
I would. Play upon I would play into
anorexia like I would take no breaks.
We would You didn't eat or drink.
My dad would come 14 hours, thisis just how it was in our

(50:43):
neighborhood and be like Andrew Susan dinner time and we'd run
in for dinner. I would eat at the speed of
light just to get another 5 minutes before dishes and dishes
were like torture to me. It seemed like an hour and a
half. It seemed like an hour and a
half and now I do dishes in like7.
Minutes. A full sink of dishes takes in
like 13 seconds. We.

(51:04):
Would drag it out, the torture of it all.
I would purposely spill water onmy brother.
But Saturday morning chores, Yeah, were music playing torture
for us. My mom separated it.
Someone cleaned both bathrooms. My youngest sister got off all
this because she's four years younger than me, so there's a
seven-year gap between she and my older brother.
The youngest. She was always too young.
She only had to empty the silverware.

(51:25):
Out of the dishwasher, Susie, wehate you for that.
Yeah. We still hate you for that.
My mom would make us do 2 bathrooms, living room and
dining room where you had a dustand vacuum.
We had a clean house, dude. Yeah, or the kitchen.
We're I'm talking damn mop on the floor every Saturday
morning. We had AI had a friend that
would come next door and he had pawn.
He had all the toys. His name was Ian, Late Ian, God

(51:46):
bless him. Didn't have any any chores.
He had all the Transformers, allthe GI Joes, all the action
figures we want to play with andI, he would come over on
Saturday. So I was like.
Please let me let me do the chores.
Tomorrow, I mean, I would still play with him, but I had to do
the chores first, yeah. My chores were sweeping down the
steps. Aforementioned.

(52:08):
And then washing walls. So the walls leading downstairs
had to be done every single Saturday for 'cause if there was
a smudge or a handprint or a cobweb, God forbid there was
any. We had a clean house too, almost
obsessively clean. We're like, hey, mom, I'm nine.

(52:30):
I can't get the ceiling. I can't I can't get the ceiling
man I. Haven't invented Swiffers.
Yet you got a ladder, boy. You gotta stand on that can from
kick the can. My next one would be now this
was more like preteen teenage years when we got when we got
cable, which was my stepdad was was I thank the Lord for him,

(52:53):
except there was a code on the good channels.
We that existed back then, you couldn't.
Want like if I wanted to watch MTVI, had to like, hey, what's
the code if I wanted to watch Cinemax, you know I was trying
to watch play good nothing. Also known as.
Skin Max But no, there was always cuz like I would watch
the TV Guide channel and I'd be like, oh, Under Siege 2's

(53:15):
playing on Cinemax and I couldn't get the code because my
mom would be like, oh, now if you ask for the code, now you
got to do some chores. Oh yeah, you can have the code
as soon as you freaking reach underneath my bed and just I
want, I want all the cobwebs underneath my bed in the closet.
Yeah, dude, we didn't have cablegrowing up, but I was just going

(53:35):
to drop a Silk Stockings reference on Russo's on USA
channel Any. Silk Stocking.
Yeah, we didn't have cable growing up, but we certainly had
TV rules about it's. I was thinking about it when we
made these lists. I was like, wow, we had screen
time back then. Also Yep.
Which was insane because we would like Nintendo it or watch

(53:56):
movies all day and they'd be like get outside in the
summertime. Yes, and then that that all the
screen time changed. I realized when my mom allowed
me, I first of all, I was the coolest kid on earth.
I had my own Blockbuster card atlike 12 and I would go and rent
and like I would talk to the dudes and be like, hey man, I
know I'm not supposed to rent this Chuck Norris movie, but

(54:17):
like please, please. I know I'm not allowed through
those saloon. They would they would let me
rent as long as it was I I've never tried with like a nudie
movie or or something, but. That's the saloon doors.
Reference yeah, but as long as it was an action movie and they
thought it was like legit, like not little man used to watch
this, they would let me run. It that's why the greatest movie

(54:38):
ever made was under siege. Under siege?
Was a little bit of both. Oh, when she pops out of the
cake. We talked about.
They don't know. The blockbuster guys didn't know
this was in there exactly. How about what are you holding
in your hand right now? Phone.
So it made me think back to phone rules.
We had strict phone rules. Oh yeah.

(54:59):
'Cause we were sharing one landline.
Yep. Which is like, feels like so
long ago. And I had a cell phone for so
long. I was like, Oh my God, we did
have phone rules. And if you were on it, it would
go beep beep beep beep beep beepbeep.
But like, there were three teenagers in the house when my
look before my little sister started talking on the phone.
So like, I would just call Russoand we'd talk about God knows

(55:20):
what, we're in 6th grade. But after 30 minutes, it was my
sister's turn or my brother's turn, and we had to like take
turns using the phone. Did your parents ever spy on you
on the phone? Oh yeah.
Actually, I don't know. My parents did.
My siblings, we would do that toeach other.
No pun intended, but I don't know when it clicked.
Like at some point I went, oh, that noise is done picking the
other phone up exactly. Oh, they're listening where?

(55:43):
Were your phones? How many phones did?
You have. We had one in the kitchen.
Same. And then we had, oh, I remember
when I thought my mom was rich. Now we're still poor.
We're still living in like a cordless phone in the living
room. We had a cordless phone in the
living room. And I thought Mama made it out
of my own. Shoot, son, we're moving up.
There, dude, it came with an answering machine.

(56:05):
We were, I was exploring the space of the house with that
cordless phone. Yeah, we we had a phone in the
kitchen on a cord. One kitchen in my mom.
And Dad's room? Yep, and then one in the
laundry. Room.
How long was your cord on the one in the kitchen?
It grew by about 6 inches per year.
Per year, yeah. Because we'd be stretching that,
yeah. Eventually you could be like 6

(56:27):
doors down still on the kitchen.Did your?
Women did so much laundry that they needed a phone in the
laundry room. You had a phone in the laundry.
Room in the laundry room. This is some.
Big sexism. Bang.
Long time, some Mondi. What was I going to say?
I remember, I cannot remember which came first, but I do
remember both cordless phones, one having like a plasticish

(56:52):
antenna and the other having a aPeriscope, A telescope, a down.
Yeah. It was like, I remember like
thinking that opening the door if somebody came over and like,
pulling that antenna out, you were like, excuse me, James.
James Bond, Jerry Maguire over here.
Jerry Maguire. My last one would be how did

(57:15):
your parents? So this is a complete opposite
of my household. I wasn't really allowed to stay
at other people's houses and my mom didn't.
Specific friends could stay overbut there were no outsiders.
There were no random friends staying at my house now best
friends, best friends. But my house I think of like

(57:37):
there's not a time post actuallyeven during school, like leaving
practice, somebody wants to comehome with Jackson or the girls
always have one of their girlfriends over.
Like my house is like always a friend zone and people always
stay the night. And if Jackson wants to stay the
night, I mean, there are times where his friends will stay two

(57:57):
or three nights and then Jacksonwill go for two or.
Three nights. I think you socialize with their
parents more than our parents did back then.
My mom and dad, I mean they knewwe had, I joke about where we
grew up. I had like cousins everywhere
growing up, friends like families that knew each other.
And so like those were all on the approved list.
And those anybody? Outside the list and it's like,

(58:19):
but I was also kind of a worse dude.
I I was the kid that cried at sleepovers and.
Went I did too I up until about 12:00.
Oh yeah. I would like wanted to go home.
Oh yeah, I remember like I would.
So my answer where I would stay the night was I stayed the night
at Russo's house like every weekend for like 5 straight
years. And like I remember when I first
started, I was like tucking thatlower lip.

(58:42):
All right, you can. Do this.
Tucking that lower. Lip, you would always wake up at
like 1:00 in the morning. You're at somebody else's house.
You're like, dude, this is a death chamber.
I'm I got to get home. This is where serial killers
live. My mom's never going to know.
I'm dead silent. Yeah, it was quiet.
Russo had those hardwood floors.We had carpet.
He had the hardwood. It would creak when you walked
around. I was like, something ain't
right, man. Yeah, something ain't right.

(59:03):
That's exactly goodbye. Something ain't right about this
house. Oh man, Russo wouldn't even give
me a pillow. He made me sleep on a Macho Man
wrestling buddy. Yeah, we.
We weren't very considerate, yeah.
Dude that was a total stay in the night places.
That's very funny though about the approve list because there
was a for sure approval. Although I guess there is an
approve list now because like occasionally Jackson will bring

(59:26):
home a shady character. We're like a teammate of his
where I'm like, I don't know, I'm not feeling this guy here.
You have to get this guy. Can't say that I didn't.
Have a ton of friends growing upthough, like I had like like I
said, a lot of cousins on my block.
I had a couple houses on my block that had close friends.
One guy crawled in the next block and then Russo.
I didn't. I wasn't super social in grade

(59:46):
school. That's why I love Russo so much.
Yeah. I was like, you got my back, I
got your back. That's all we need bro.
Listen, I always tell Jackson itis.
If you have one true friend that's so much better than 50,
absolutely one real friend you could take on the world.
My last one I got on the list isthis is like torture to me.

(01:00:06):
Pun. When we finally got a Nintendo
Wii, got it and you had to take turns.
Oh my God, I remember Mario. I remember the first day we ever
got our Nintendo, my dad was struggling to set it up because
it was like, yeah, now it's likeyou, I can, I can set up
anything. It's like.
Even then, we were so stupid. It was only two.

(01:00:29):
It was only there was three things to plug in.
Yeah. One of them.
We couldn't figure it out. Yeah, yeah.
It was spun on the backyard. What's that one called?
And it it took, I remember it took my dad like a couple.
We were like bouncing off the walls to play Mario and he
couldn't figure it out, and thenfinally he got it.
Now you could. And I played and I died.
And my dad was like Susie's turn.

(01:00:49):
I was like, there's bull. I just figured out how to jump.
And luckily, thank you, Susie. She was the one that would use
the controller, and while she jumped, she'd move the
controller. Yes, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, fell on the 1st hole so she had to give the.
Control. She had to give it up.
Yeah, Susie didn't make it very long.
Watching my having to share is Idon't know if this is if it's
just all boys, but having to share the Nintendo with my

(01:01:10):
sisters was. But you know what else I
realized? Like when we got, I can't
remember if we got a Nintendo ora Super Nintendo first.
Like I don't remember which one was which, but we didn't I it
was like a once a week. It was like a rare thing.
We play it every day. Oh, you got to play every day,
I. Think it was limited on the
hours but then once I got into like middle school.

(01:01:31):
Yes, I lived in a prison. No, it was very rare.
We play. But I quickly learned that if my
sister died, it was my turn again, so I would just wiggle
their controller out-of-the-box.She's holding the dunk hunt gun,
she's playing Mario Brothers. Like, no, just keep shooting
Susie, you'll get him. Just keep shooting, all right?

(01:01:54):
Get into our goodbye section. I think we might have got a
country, but I'm not sure, so I'll just mention it real quick.
I don't know Czechoslovakia, I don't know how good you are at
is Czechoslovakia. Still a country.
It's not. I was.
Like I think that used to be communist, now it's the Czech
Republic, right? Or Prague.
Prague's a city. Dude.
Americans are so bad at geography.

(01:02:15):
I can't even pronounce sparklingwater.
How are you? How are you rolling your Rs
pawn? We got, I think we hadn't had
this before, but. Puerto Rico.
Puerto Rico. Closing Thoughts.
This made me think of you. I just put a couple things out
here that made me think of you. Andy Banks tweeted Andy Banks
tweeted This is so good. Imagine you get murdered and

(01:02:37):
some girl skips your episode of forensic fouls because it's
boring. I was like, that's the best
tweet I've ever read dude. Oh my God, you're.
Brutally murdered and she's likeyou.
Boring. Crazy.
I actually do that on episodes when I'm watching like Netflix.
It'll be like, I am a killer. And I'm like, no, no double

(01:02:58):
homicide. No, no, I know you're.
Oh, triple OK. Yeah.
Chainsaw. Man, I know your life was
tragically ended at a young age,but this is really.
Actually, Lauren and I fell asleep on the couch yesterday
watching We Started the Idaho 4 Murders on Netflix because he
just took the plea deal. I'm still on the poop cruise on
Netflix, but anyhow. The poop cruise.
I'm kidding. Steph and I are watching Ted

(01:03:20):
Lasso for the first time ever. Which is.
How far are you as? Billed.
We're just through Season 1. It's so good, spectacular, it's
so. Good.
Anyhow, you're watching the Idaho murders.
Yeah, I I dozed off and woke up at 11.
O'clock in the bowl series. That's neither here nor there.
None of your. Business.
That's basically the summary of all of the podcasts so far.
Punk out on the couch, started amurder documentary.
Fell asleep, ate sweet cereal. That's the world fat.

(01:03:46):
And the last thing I had on herewas something about being kids.
And I think, I think you might have mentioned this, but it's
another tweet from at Tyler J Roni.
He said this wasn't a rule, but it was forced upon us.
He said. Can we stop messing around and
just frost the entire pop tart already?
I dude. It's 2025 and we have
technology. Why do we frost 83% of the pop

(01:04:07):
tart? Yeah, the guys.
I popped those off. I don't eat the unfrosted part.
Are you, what do you think? I'm a Neanderthal adult as a
grown up, I don't even want the crust on my PB and JS.
But I eat them because I don't want I I don't want to be that
guy who cuts them off because I think you got to have a little
bit to do that, but you got to cut that.

(01:04:28):
Clip of that out. But yeah, no, I don't eat the
unfrosted part. What do you think I?
Eat your pizza crust. Yes, yeah, so do I, I'm not.
I'm not a weird texture crust guy, but I am an anti.
Why don't you frost the whole pop tart?
Why are we dilly dallying around'cause this pot the and it
doesn't even have any of the thefake Jelly jam strawberry

(01:04:51):
preservatives. Yeah, it's like this is an edge
piece that's unfrosted. Also has no strawberries.
Do you know I rarely get flavored crust and if I do, I
usually go with the Cajun. Oh yeah, Cajun is the way to go.
Because I don't like garlic parm.
I don't like having the garlic parm because it makes my hands a
mad. Lick em all.
What are you? What's the problem?

(01:05:12):
You don't got a tongue? What?
What are you talking about? Pun was just disgusting and I
don't like dirty. All right, buddy, Damn it.
All right. Bud, they don't give you moist

(01:05:33):
cow let's around here. Oh my God, it's so funny.
What are we doing next week? Pun We talked about it
beforehand as I said in last weeks episode, I kept having a
clip out every week, Punt saying.
Let's do it. Let's do a draft.
So we talked about drafts beforehand and what are we
doing? Which one do you wanna do?
What were the options? It was bar food, it was grocery

(01:05:54):
aisles, and it was brunch. Let's do bar foods.
All right, next week. I thought you were doing the bar
foods at the live show. You don't second guess me.
Let's do the breakfast foods draft.
Breakfast, food, brunch, brunch.No, we could do brunch right?
So next? Or did we do a breakfast draft
already? We did cereals draft.
Let's do a straight. Let's go breakfast.
So cereals don't count? We're talking brunch.

(01:06:16):
You can go cereal, but it's an all-encompassing one word cereal
only. I got.
I like it. I like it.
All right, so next week we're doing the brunch food or
breakfast foods draft. Make sure to like our podcast.
Make sure to five star our podcast that please share the
podcast very very important. If you know anybody in the
Czechoslovakia, share. Get them out of there.

(01:06:36):
Get. Them out there, you're not
supposed to be there no more all.
Right, pun, that's all. I got what you got.
That's it for me, Dog Boo.

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Ep.76 - The Rules we HATED as Kids...

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep.76 - The Rules we HATED as Kids...