July 16, 2024 • 37 mins
Highlighting the Gen X perspective, Blythe Alpern joins me this week with a wealth of experiences and insights. As the host of the Gen X Experience Podcast, her passion lies in creating a space for her generation to connect, commiserate, and reminisce about their midlife challenges.
During the conversation, Blythe shares her journey towards prioritizing self-care in recent years. Faced with the grief of losing both parents and feeling burnt out, she realized the need to nurture her physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. She discusses the valuable lessons she learned about work-life balance and setting boundaries with clients.
Despite the challenges, Blythe has found ways to enhance her well-being and care for herself. Starting the podcast and incorporating small changes like daily walks have made a significant impact. Her wisdom as a Gen Xer, gained from her experiences and her candidness about her self-care journey, will surely enlighten the audience.
About Blythe:
Blythe is a copywriter and the founder of Wordwoman Creative, where she creates strategic, creative websites, blog posts, email/newsletters, and 360° campaigns for beauty and lifestyle brands. When she isn't writing copy, she is working on her podcast, The GenX Experience, a place for GenXers to chat about navigating midlife, mixed with a bit of that 80s nostalgia.
Before she founded her copywriting business, she worked in the agency world for various brands, including Coca-Cola, Ford, Lancome, Don Julio, and more. She also spent five years as a beauty and lifestyle blogger, where she cultivated her passion for indie beauty.
When she's not working on her business or podcast, Blythe enjoys long walks, the occasional hike, spending time with her rescue pup Buster, reading, binging documentaries on cults, and checking out the newest restaurant, rooftop bar, or coffee shop in Atlanta.
Connect with Blythe:
Website: https://www.wordwomancreative.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/blythealpern/
Podcast (Available on Spotify and Apple): https://open.spotify.com/show/4WlZPvc78LWah0V3QbJ4vq
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegenxexperiencepod/
Interested in possibly being a guest on the show? Click the link to get started!
https://forms.gle/V1yGLH9W9Ck2m4TP7
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:00):
Kristen
Kristen Daukas (00:05):
daukas, welcome to Conversations on the rocks,
the podcast where the drink isstrong and the stories are
stronger. I'm your host, Kristendaukas, and this isn't your
average chat fest. Here. Realpeople spill the tea alongside
their favorite drinks, from thehilarious to the heart
wrenching, each episode a wildcard. You'll laugh, you may cry,
but you'll definitely learnsomething new. So grab whatever,
(00:27):
what's your whistle and buckleup. It's time to dive into the
raw, the real and theridiculously human. Let's get
this chat party started. Heyeverybody, it's Kristen daukas,
and you are listening toconversations on the rocks, the
podcast that is as random as thethoughts that rumble through my
head like Tumbleweed in Texas.
I'm super excited. I have BlytheAlpern with me today, and she's
(00:52):
a copywriter, but mostimportantly, she is the host of
the Gen X Experience podcast,which I was on a few weeks ago,
and we're gonna talk about Gen Xstuff. Y'all, so if you're not
Gen X, you can dip out now, oryou can listen and learn to find
out why we are the F around andfind out generation Blythe.
(01:16):
Please introduce yourself,
Unknown (01:21):
hello. Yes, I am Blythe Alpern. I Yes, I'm a copywriter
and a proud Gen Xer. I'mactually turning the Big Five,
oh, next month, and I'm actuallyexcited for it, unlike when I
was turning 30. So, right, yeah,I
Kristen Daukas (01:38):
30 was a mind.
It was a mind you know what? Iwas
Unknown (01:42):
like having a mental breakdown. Basically, my mother
was like, Get over yourself.
Kristen Daukas (01:48):
Girl, I wish I was turning 30.
Unknown (01:52):
Yes, yeah. Sometimes I'm like, can I go back there
and just smack myself and belike, be happy to be 30. And
also, here's a few guys that youshould not date, and a few jobs
you should not take.
Kristen Daukas (02:07):
Dear past Blythe future blight has some good
advice for you. She does talk alittle bit about your podcast.
Unknown (02:16):
So I've been a podcast fan before, like, for deck,
like, at least a decade, I gotinto them very early, and I
never thought about having oneuntil a few years ago. Maybe, I
guess, during the pandemic, weall had lots of ideas. And I was
like, You know what, there's notreally a place for Gen X. Like,
there are some Gen X podcasts,but they're mostly about pop
(02:36):
culture. Or, you know, lookingback at movies and like, I want
a place for us to come on and,you know, commiserate, bitch,
complain, be snarky, and talkabout the things that are
affecting being in midlife, andthen mix that with a little bit
of nostalgia, because it is funto look back at the 80s and the
90s and 70s and just reminisceabout The good old days before
(03:00):
social media, right?
Kristen Daukas (03:02):
All of us, I think, are pretty can definitely
say, and I've told my girlsthis, because everyone knows
I've got three young adultchildren. I am so glad we did
not have all of this when wewere growing up as especially
being latchkey kids. Can youimagine with the crap that we
got into and the oh my god, canyou imagine? Had some I mean,
(03:23):
the worst thing we had wassomebody passing a note in the
eighth grade and then gettingpopped by the teacher and having
to read it out loud. That wasthe worst thing. I just can't
imagine. And one of the thingsthat I have done in the past, I
don't do it so much anymore, iscoaching parents on social
media, because it is just acompletely different growing up
(03:44):
situation when you're dealingwith having the technology and
the social media involved in it.
So that what you just said is agreat segue to what you and I
said that we were going to talkabout, and that is Gen X. And I
took, I'm going to make a mashup of Gen X and the importance
of self care. And what I thinkis fascinating is, and we
(04:05):
touched on this a little bitwhen you and I had our
conversation on your show, isthat it's such a foreign it was
a completely foreign concept toour mothers, who most mostly are
baby boomers. So we didn't growup with a good and I'm not
saying our moms weren't goodrole models, but we didn't grow
up with a good example ofputting our priorities first. So
(04:26):
let's talk a little bit aboutpriorities, self care,
boundaries, all of which I mightadd, we had to teach ourselves.
Unknown (04:38):
Yes, yeah, because it's funny, my mom worked. She
basically ran the show of mydad's office and our family and
everything else. And she wouldalways tell my sister my brother
and you know, you can bewhatever you want and be
independent, but then you knowshe never, she didn't put
herself first ever. It was thefamily. It was my dad's
(04:59):
business. And I remember lookingat that and going, I love my
mom. She's amazing, but I don'twant to become that, where I put
myself last, right? That'seasier said than done. It really
took, yeah, it really took from2015 to 2020, I my parents both
(05:19):
were sick, and they bothsubsequently passed away. And I
looked at myself in the mirrorafter losing my dad, and I was
like, what I don't I don't likewhat I see. I don't like the way
I'm looking. I was exhausted,emotionally, physically. I'm
like, I need to take care ofmyself, because I'm in my 40s,
and if I don't do something now,what am I going to be like in my
(05:41):
50s and 60s and 70s? And it wasa physical thing, and also, like
a mental, emotional, spiritual,everything, I just kind of was
like, I need to do something soI can feel better. And because I
was still grieving, you know,which a grief never goes away,
that, yeah, so I needed anoutlet for also was the
(06:02):
pandemic, like we all were goingcompletely insane, so I just
started making choices to tobetter take care of myself in
small ways and in in biggerways.
Kristen Daukas (06:15):
And people, some people, you know, we were kind
of raised in a sense of selfcare is selfish, is you know, so
you have to put everybody first.
If you are a woman, your spouse,your children, you know, the the
grocery store, person, themailman, your job, everything
came first. And if you try tostand up and say, You know what?
(06:39):
I don't know about you. My momnever took a trip by herself or
with her friends ever. And youjust, you know, if you don't do
that, if you don't do thesethings, you're gonna and it's so
true, you can't pour from anempty cup. You have to pour from
the saucer, and it takes a lot.
And you're right. I think a lotof that my dad passed away when,
(07:04):
thank God in in 2019 not thankGod that he died, but thank God
he passed away before covid hit,because we would have never
survived that. But it was kindof that was a big wake up call,
turning 54 turning 40 wasturning 40 was a I have no more
filter. I'm going to stoppretending, to put a filter in
place. And then turning 50 waskind of like a badass, you know,
(07:26):
I am woman, hear me roar, kindof thing. But it also kind of
coincides with that whole, wow,we're not even midlife anymore.
We're past midlife. And, youknow, it was very shocking
revelation to me that I went, ohshit, it's autumn. It's not
summer anymore. It's autumn.
Winter is coming. I've
Unknown (07:48):
lived half, yeah, I lived half my life. What's the
next part of it gonna look like?
And yeah, and
Kristen Daukas (07:54):
you can find yourself getting bogged down by
that, and can become verydepressing, you know? You can
go, Gosh, at best, you know, Imight have 20. I'm 55 I turned
55 last year, and I'm like, Ihope I've got another 20 in me.
I'd like to have another 25 inme, but you don't know. And so
if you're continue to, you know,go around and do all the things
for everybody else, but you whatkind of existence is that it's
(08:16):
at
Unknown (08:16):
the end of the day, you know? I it's like, I think when
people always say, you know,work isn't everything. Of
course, it's not. And I wish ourculture was better, that because
people on their deathbeds, theirregrets are never, oh, you know,
I really wish I would haveworked more. No, it's I wish I
would have gone here. I wish Iwould have spent time with more
time my family. I wish I wouldhave done this and that. And,
you know, losing my parents.
They were in their 70s, and, youknow they were, they had just
(08:40):
retired, and they didn't get todo, not that they didn't do
things, but they were like, wewant to do this, and then you
get to do any of it. That's
Kristen Daukas (08:47):
so true, because when my stepdad died, he died,
he passed when he was 60, and hewas at type A we talked about
it. He was at the office atseven, came home at five, walked
in the yard until it got dark.
My mom had to have a meet andthree on the table by 6pm and
when my oldest daughter wasborn, it was like, when I when
this happens, then this happens.
(09:09):
And that generation was so trueto this. Like, when I say
$50,000 then I'm gonna do thiswhen I retire, then I'm gonna do
this. And so many of them, it'sjust I didn't the same as you I
don't want to be that way, likewe're not promised tomorrow.
Unknown (09:25):
No, we're not. And you know women, you know well
especially, think like, you knowwomen. Of course, we were always
taught you can do anything, butyou got to put yourself last.
And then our parents also hadthat philosophy of like, you
know, first in, last out. Atwork, I remember my dad telling
me that, and when I was talkingabout because in advertising,
you kind of move around. That'show you would right be promoted,
(09:48):
right? And my parents just foundthat completely crazy. Granted,
my parents never worked in thecorporate field. My dad was an
orthodontist. My mother was adental hygienist, so they didn't
understand the corporate world.
But. But they would just saythings or, like, suck it up, or
life's that's how life is.
That's how things are. And Iremember being in my 20s and my
(10:08):
30s, and like, feeling like Iwas drowning and no lifeline,
and there was not, like, myparents didn't get it, you know,
friends kind of got it, but wewere all in the same spot. So it
took a long time to get to thepoint where I was like, This is
not how I want to live the restof my life. And I'm not perfect,
perfect at it. I'm always a workin progress. But who
Kristen Daukas (10:32):
is? Try every day. You know who is, and you're
self employed as well, aren'tyou? Yes, yes. So we both are.
And you know, can you greatexample, my middle flew in from
Pittsburgh last Monday, and so Iwas able to spend time with her
Monday and Tuesday, then we tookoff to Ohio on Wednesday, and,
you know, for the holiday. Butyou know, our parents would have
(10:54):
never had the ability that youand I do to say, You know what,
I'm going to get out of town.
And the cool thing is, as longas I've got an internet
connection and my laptop I canwork from wherever. Is it ideal?
No, I still kind of like myroutine and being in my groove
and in my little home office.
But our parents would have neverbeen able to do that. They got
two weeks of vacation a year.
And however, 12 federalholidays, however many federal
(11:16):
holidays there were, and thatwas it. Yeah.
Unknown (11:20):
And since my, you know, parents owned the business,
like, if my dad wasn't working,that doesn't mean that, you
know, more patients were comingin. And, you know, we used to
want to go, like, like, Dad, whycan't we go skiing? And he's
like, Well, if I break a leg,then there's no money. You know,
of course, he was doom andgloom, or he wouldn't like
skimming, because if I, yeah, ifI break something, and I'm like,
we'll just wheel you up to thechairs. You can still treat
(11:43):
patients, but, you know, it waslike a different pressure. But
yeah, now we can connect fromanywhere. It does make it
sometimes harder to go. No, no,I'm gonna disconnect. I'm gonna
take the vacation, because
Kristen Daukas (11:55):
I'm doing that in September for two weeks.
We're going to Greece. And it'slike, I've already told I'm
like, I'm not taking mycomputer. I am going to start
filling those, you know, twoweeks of work now so that it's
because we do we need tocompletely, you know, we're that
generation that is both analogand digital. So, you know, it's
very easy for us to rememberwhat it was like to shut the
(12:19):
laptop or turn it off, orwhatever, or not even have it.
You know. Do you remember thedays how nice it was when you
left work for vacation andyou're like, bye, Susie, I'll
see you in a week and a half,and that was it. Yep, there was
no checking your phone. Therewas no calling in, there was no
voicemail, there was nothing.
Was my
Unknown (12:38):
five Exactly. And I remember we all started getting
cell phones, and my job wouldwant. Job would want my cell
phone, and I'm like, No, you canhave my home phone number, but
I'm not giving you my cell phonebecause I don't want to be that
connected. And I even try. Ilearned this as being a
freelancer is I turn the emailnotifications off of my phone
because I was getting clients.
Sometimes they were in adifferent times than like a
client in Australia, but I wouldget clients emailing me at
(13:01):
night, and I would see it, andthen I'd be like, my mind when
and I'm like, no, no, I don'twant to see it. And I that's
been that way for years. I willgo in and check it, and
sometimes I'll schedule anemail. Otherwise, I'm like, You
know what? That can wait tilltomorrow, because I need to have
my time and I need to turn offwork mode.
Kristen Daukas (13:18):
And I have, since this new I've been back in
business for myself for the pastfour years. And there, when I
first had my agency back in 2008before I went and then there was
a company in between. I didthat, it was always constant,
like, Oh, I've got to respondright now I'm in social media
and digital marketing. Can Itell you, in the 15 years that
(13:40):
I've been doing this, how manyemergencies I have had? One?
Yeah, and it's just it doesn't.
And I was like, No. And I had aclient text me last week on the
fourth I was like, Really,boundaries, boundaries. And, you
know, I like that. We havegotten better. And again, I
think it's an age thing. Um,yes, as far as setting those
(14:03):
boundaries and saying, No, itcan wait. It can wait. And you
have
Unknown (14:10):
and the thing is, you know, you I think it's good to
start in one place, like maybeset them in work, but you also
have to set them in yourpersonal life with people that
you're friends with, or you'redating or what. But you also
have to set them for yourself.
Of like, this is what I will do.
This is what I will not do.
These are the times that I will,you know, be good to myself. I
will, like, do the self care.
This is the time, you know,like, I will take a rest, and
(14:30):
that's okay, because, you know,like, I love that. I sometimes
will take naps. And it's funny,because when we were kids, were
like, oh, nap time. Come on ourbedtime. And now I'm like, Oh,
please, please. Right now, timein my day,
Kristen Daukas (14:43):
I wish I could nap. I can't nap. It takes me
too long to get this to slowdown, to to be able to so I've
always found if and my familyand or the girls know, like, if
I'm taking a nap, I'm sick, I'msick. Um, but yeah, you're
right, and you. Watching TV. IfI want to binge watch an entire
(15:03):
series, I'm gonna do it. I don'tconsider it lazy. I'll call it
conserving energy. I amconserving my energy.
Unknown (15:12):
Yes, we don't have to do, you know, appointment TV,
like, I mean, I do miss thatwhere it was. You know, you
knew, as a collective, likenation or whatever, we were all
watching this show or thisepisode, because if you didn't
see it, you missed it, maybe youcould see it in the reruns. So I
missed that a little bit, but wedo, you know there are shows
you've been watched, bingewatched, that everyone's talking
about, and you can text yourfriends and be like, did you see
(15:33):
this episode? Did you see thatepisode? And yeah, it is. It is
kind of a form of relaxation andself care. And you know, I love
to watch cult documentaries. Mysister and I are both into the I
am fascinated, fascinated bycults. And, yeah, I don't care.
It's my guilty pleasure.
Kristen Daukas (15:51):
We gotta have your guilty pleasure. Yeah,
that's all right. Summer for meis Big Brother. It's the most
cheesy, campiest thing, butthat's like our summer guilty
pleasure, and it starts nextWednesday, and I can't wait. And
it's so funny I've gotten we nowhave a pool. You know how you
have a football betting pool? Wedo it for Big Brother. And now
(16:12):
it used to just be me, Steve andCassie, the youngest, and now
she's pulled, like three of herfriends in
Unknown (16:20):
that's great. Did you because big brother started
right in England, I think, Ithink so across the pond. I
wonder the difference betweenhow things are here versus so
Kristen Daukas (16:32):
it's interesting. You say that
because there's another show,um, traitor, the traitor, and it
started in Australia, and so nowthey have like Australia,
England, America, and there'sone other version, and it's very
interesting, because we'vewatched them all now. It's
interesting to see thedifference between how the
(16:54):
Americans do it and and not justlike the show itself, but the
people that are contestants.
It's really kind of fascinating,because it is. It's definitely
very different. And we also havethe Olympics starting up. So
let's talk about some fun stuffwith Jenna, speaking of TV, what
was your okay? First of all, didyou watch soaps after school?
Unknown (17:17):
I did when, when I was in college, most more and a
little bit when I was younger.
My, like I said, my both myparents worked, and we did have
someone watching us. My brotherwas four years younger, and the
woman that would like kind of wecalled her aunt Frida. She was
the loveliest woman. She watchedsoap. So we will sometimes watch
those. My mother didn't reallylike it, but,
Kristen Daukas (17:38):
you know, Aunt Frida wanted to see them. So
guess what kids were watching?
Did we're watching soaps? Yeah,I was a big Guiding Light
person. That was my thing. I wasguiding light when everybody was
General Hospital with the Lukeand Alan Michael.
Unknown (17:51):
I loved,
Kristen Daukas (17:54):
yeah, that was, and then, of course, you know,
you had your going back to whatyou were talking about with when
we were, you know, the TV Guidedays, you know, Friday night. It
was, what it was, what was theshow on before Dallas?
Unknown (18:08):
Was it Falcon Crest or No?
Kristen Daukas (18:10):
Was it Dallas and then fantasy? No, no, no.
I'm thinking Saturday, Saturdaynight, Love Boat, then Fantasy
Island, Fantasy
Unknown (18:17):
Island, yes. And when we're little, I remember it was
The Muppet Show that yes, wason, I think on Saturday night,
yeah,
Kristen Daukas (18:22):
but and then on, you know, during the mornings,
were your parents early risersin the weekends.
Unknown (18:29):
My mother was my dad, not so much. He liked to kind of
sleep in, but my mom, she wouldget up early ever I'm like,
Don't you know how to sleep in?
I just, I craves. I am a verybad sleeper, but I love to sleep
in. But yeah, they were up myand my sister and brother would
get up early to watch cartoons.
And I was like, cartoons are forbabies. My sister's 16 months
(18:49):
younger than me, and my brother,like I said, is four years but I
was just like, they're babies.
And I just wanted to, you know,have my, I think I just wanted
to have my own time alone. Andyeah, and
Kristen Daukas (18:59):
with three of you in the house, I can totally
understand that. Yeah, becauseSaturdays, I was an only child.
I grew up an only child. So thatwas, you know, get up and before
my mom married my stepdad when?
But she did that when I was,like, seven years old. So there
weren't, you know, she slept in.
And I definitely was the, go getyourself some cereal, sit in
front of the and, you know,those days, it's, it's, it's
(19:21):
innocent, you know, I thinkthat's the thing that, that
we're missing is, you know, youdidn't hear 24/7 of all the
horrible things going on in ourworld. You know, it's just so
true.
Unknown (19:36):
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Kristen Daukas (20:06):
So what are some of the ways that you you
intentionally practice selfcare? For you,
Unknown (20:11):
one of my favorite things to do, even though now
it's like so so hot, I lovegoing outside and going for a
walk. I live by this trail inAtlanta called the Beltline. It
used to be a railroad track, andthey turned into a walking path.
And I, which I started doingduring the pandemic, just to get
outside, I would go take my dogand go for a walk. And I still
(20:32):
love doing that one it's it'sfun for people watching. There's
some very interesting characterson the BeltLine, and some very
annoying people as well, whotake the whole sidewalk. But I
love being outside. I love goinghiking. I don't do that as much
as I can. I have a thing forrooftop bars, and I find that a
self care, because I lovesitting outside with a amazing
cocktail and just looking out atthe view, spending time with my
(20:56):
dog, my nieces and nephew. Ilove that I get to watch them
grow up and hopefully still staythe cool aunt my my nephew.
Sometimes it's like, oh, socringe, but I do it on purpose.
It's, of course, that's our job.
Of course it is we you know,it's, he's in junior high, and I
remember junior high, and I'mlike, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna
try to speak the lingo. I don'tunderstand a lot of their their
(21:19):
slang, but I will pick up onwords, and then I'll say it.
He's like, Oh, so cringe. I'mlike, mission accomplished.
Kristen Daukas (21:27):
Funny thing is, they don't realize that we're
doing it intentionally. No,
Unknown (21:32):
they will later. I'm sure later he'll be like, you
know, yeah, yeah, writing in myjournal. I love music. My dog
hates my singing, I don't I wasthe other night. I was, I'll do
like, the Doom scroll, but I'lllisten to, like, they'll have
80s music, come on, and I'llstart singing along. And he was
like, pieing me. Like, please,no way. Yeah. He was like,
cuddling. And he's like, everytime he just put his like, Mom,
(21:55):
you're killing me. I'm like, Idon't think my voice is that
bad.
Kristen Daukas (22:00):
And then, like, listen, I brought you home. I
rescued you. Have this wonderfullife because of me. Maybe he was
trying
Unknown (22:08):
to stay with you, maybe, maybe, but, yeah, I mean,
do it? I, which would be fine.
I, yeah, instead of just beinggiving me the look like, you
know, maybe just my voice ishurts his ears because of the
level, whatever it is. But whatelse is sleep? Sleep is
definitely self care for me,because I'm so bad at it that
when I get a good night's sleep,or even just being lazy, like a
(22:30):
lazy Sunday,
Kristen Daukas (22:34):
it's not lazy, it's energy preservation, true,
Unknown (22:39):
yes, but like not getting out of my pajamas all
day, and unless, like,obviously, to take the dog out,
but just reading, listening topodcasts, listening to auto
book, audio books, binging, whatjust or doing absolutely nothing
is like the best self
Kristen Daukas (22:54):
care. Yeah, the man travels largely during the
week, so on the rare occasionthat he leaves on like a Sunday.
It is my heaven. And I when Iknow this, I plan in advance so
I don't leave the house andthen, and he typically takes
really, really early flights soI can sleep in as long as the
(23:15):
dogs will let me, which latelyhas not been a very good thing.
And but then I know I can justget up. I don't have to get
dressed. I can just putts. And Iputts. That's my thing. That's
what I love to do. Like, whereyou kind of squirrel your way
through the house and you don'tnecessarily have a to do list.
It's like, you go, you start onone project, and then you turn
(23:35):
around, you go, Oh, I can dothat. Oh, look, I need to
straighten up the whatever. Andbefore you know it, you have all
these little micro things. And Iknow it sounds really weird, but
those are my favorite days thatjust kind of random, that go
with the flow, and there's noagenda. If you want to stop and
have a mimosa on a Sunday, youcan, if you want to eat cookie
(23:56):
dough, you can, and you can dothis every day, but obviously,
you know, Monday through Friday,most of us do have some kind of
professional obligations that wehave to so it's just not the
same. Just nice to have that daywhere you're just doing a whole
lot of nothing,
Unknown (24:11):
Yep, yeah. And added bonus,
Kristen Daukas (24:13):
if it's bad weather, because then you're
like,
Unknown (24:15):
yes, a rainy Sunday. I love a rainy Sunday. Yes, it's
the best. Yeah, this
Kristen Daukas (24:23):
is God's way of telling me, stay home, exactly,
Unknown (24:27):
cozy up. Watch something ridiculous, you know.
And doesn't have to beeducational. It can be silly.
And then, you know, just cuddleup with your pets if you have
them, yep, and yeah. And justenjoy the time. Because, you
know life is life is short, andsometimes you just need to stop
and pause and realize that theact of not doing something is
(24:51):
doing something absolutelyyourself,
Kristen Daukas (24:53):
well. And I think too, you know, going back
to our parents, you know thatwhole, you know, in first, you
know, early in. And laid outtype attitude, and you need to
stick around. You need to staywith that company and get your
gold watch. Is that we realizethat if we were working in a
traditional corporate job, youknow, we want to quit, we give
(25:14):
them the common courtesy of atwo week notice, right? But if
they want to get rid of us, Imean, boom, you're done. You're
done tomorrow, you're donetoday. And here's your we need
your all of your stuff, and theywon't think twice about it. And
to think that, I think it's avery interesting moment when you
finally realize that everyone isreplaceable. Because definitely
(25:35):
feeling that you'reirreplaceable is a youth thing,
and definitely into your 20s.
And then I don't know if ittakes that first time getting
fired or laid off or whatever,that you go and you just like,
I'm not. I'm not. And that'sanother cool thing about our
generation, is we weredefinitely the generation that
said there is no companyloyalty, and that was really
hard for our parents to get andit sounds like that exactly with
(25:56):
your with your folks, and it wasthe same with my mom and
stepdad, you know, it was like,you've got to stay and, you
know, you can't be bouncingaround. And I'm like, sometimes
Unknown (26:06):
you're forced to do that. And, you know, funny
enough, like, my dad was the onethat suggested I go into
advertising. When I was younger,I wanted to be a marine
biologist and work with belugawhales. But then, because I had
childhood asthma, I found out Icouldn't dive anymore, because
it was, like, a very serioushealth risk. And so he was
really good, you're created,yeah, spree, you know, I didn't
want to, like, go diving andthen have an air bubble. I'm
(26:27):
like, Yeah, I want to be able tohave a life. And he my dad's
like, you're a creative. Youlike to write. So what about
advertising? Thanks so much,dad, because it was a, it's a
very hard career that isn'tstable. And I were the first
agency I was at, of course,started my career at the time
the.com bubble burst. So ofcourse, you know, advertising
goes and I went to lunch andcame back. And in the time I was
(26:50):
gone, there was a mass layoff atmy agency, so I came back to see
my friends crying. And, youknow, after the agency had told
us, no, everything's fine,because all around, I was living
in Chicago, all around agencieswere laying people off, like,
we're fine, no, and I later gotlaid off in a subsequent layoff.
But it was like a real I waslike, Oh my gosh, this is, this
(27:11):
is scary. So, yeah, we and wewent through the recession. We
went through like, you know,with 911 like, we've been
through things. People forgetthat every generation goes
through things, but we've
Kristen Daukas (27:21):
been through a lot of things. We've been
through a lot of things, and thea number of things that we have
been through is really kind ofthe reason why we are such a
tough nut generation. It's like,Let me have it.
Unknown (27:36):
What next it exactly.
Kristen Daukas (27:39):
And I was good.
There was a question I was goingto ask you talking about, I'll
think about brain fart, but,yeah, I mean, that's the reason
we are the fafo, as they like tosay, the up around and find out
generation. It's like, youcannot hurt me anymore. We were
lash key kids. We had the wholeHave you seen me? You know, the
(28:00):
milk carton, things we had, the11 o'clock announcement that
came across a TV parents, do youknow where your children are?
It's like, Well, God, I hope youdo. Yeah. I mean, the recession
we had, you know, the war we Imean it, there's so many things.
It's like, No wonder we're alljust twisted individuals. I
mean, yeah,
Unknown (28:22):
and we watched the space shuttle blow up live, and
our parents were like, you know,we have discussions about, how
do you feel about that? No, Imean, because I remember going
those, you know, yes, kids werewatching, but the kids of those
astronauts, especially theteacher, watched their parents
explode. And I was just like,and we're thinking, no
(28:43):
discussion, nothing, you know,we're just Yeah, and we would
watch the news at night. Veryinteresting. The teachers
Kristen Daukas (28:48):
that will the AV card in just turned it off.
Fine, yeah, okay, pull out yourbooks and turn to chapter four
Unknown (28:57):
and keep going. We're like, what? Yeah. And we would
watch the news at night, right?
And our we see all the badthings happening. I don't
remember my parents ever goingso what do you think? And how
are you feeling? No, it's like,I don't It's nice that you have
feelings about whatever it is,whether it's the world or your
own life, but you keep doing godo the dishes, go to your
homework, go to bed, you'll befine.
Kristen Daukas (29:17):
Get a good night's sleep, you'll be fine.
Yeah? Just minor flesh wound,yeah. And then, you know, think
about it, but yet we havingthen, like our young adult
years, be in the 90s, that was apretty cool time, right? Pretty
cool time. And then we gotgobsmacked with freaking 911
(29:37):
Yes, and you're just like, and Itruly think that if any of us
had any innocence and grandioseideas, that the world was a
wonderful place that was thatcame crashing down. Then I was
so distinctly because we wereliving in Pennsylvania, and I
was terrified because I waslike, how did this happen in
(29:59):
America? Like I was just so, andI really think at least for me,
if where that, I won't call itbitter point. But by that point,
I was, was like, 33 was like, ittruly the end of innocence, you
know, whatever. And you know, Ihad small children. My youngest
(30:19):
wasn't even born. My middle hadjust been born six months
before, and you're just like, Ohmy God. And so, like, we
definitely know life has neverbeen the same, you know, since
we grew up. But it definitely
Unknown (30:35):
whatever is before that. I mean, yes, the World
Trade Center had been bombed, Ithink, in the in the 90s and
then, but before that, the onlytime America was under attack
was Pearl harbors, and that wasso far removed. And then, yeah,
911 like it, yeah, it. It wassuch a it was so horrible,
because we're watching it inlive, you know, live time
(30:55):
happening. And then our countryreally has changed. And I was
just, we went to New York. Itwas my niece and nephews, first
time in New York. So of course,because I lived there, I had to
go, right? And we went to the911 Memorial. And it's the first
time that I've been to somethingwhere that's, you know,
historical, where I'm, like, Ilived through this. This has a,
did you cry? Different impact?
No, I didn't. But it was, it wasvery everyone. It was only time
(31:19):
to somewhere. I was like, veryquiet, but also I'm like, this
is a grave site. I'm walking ona grave site. And I actually
happened to, I moved to New Yorkright after 911 and my, a friend
of mine, we went and worked atthe respite centers for the Red
Cross. So I was down there twiceand saw the change in the the
work, you know, the emergencyworkers, from like, optimistic
(31:42):
to totally defeated. And Iremember the smell, number
everything, but, yeah, it's, itwas like that. I know, you know,
for kids to see that that wereyounger has to have an impact.
But as an adult, I think we hada better understanding of, like,
okay, America, isn't we can beattacked like and what's gonna
happen? And it wasn't, it wasn'ta good point. And even now
(32:03):
today, I'm like, What is goingon with, you know, not to get
political,
Kristen Daukas (32:08):
but that kind of goes back to, you know, I'm just
gonna call it what it is, the BSthat we were fed as kids growing
up. This is the greatest countryin the world. You can do
anything you want to do. You canbe anything you can if you work
hard, you can have all thethings that you want. And the
reason why I asked if you criedis because I'm a pretty tough
knot, like, I'm very not a lotof emotion, and that going down
(32:32):
that escalator, yeah, I just, Ijust remember, I was almost
hypervent, not like crying, butI was just like, in tears, and I
was just like, I had to take alot of deep breaths.
Unknown (32:45):
Yeah, I mean, I felt myself, but I was with I mean,
my niece and nephew are almost13 and almost 11. I didn't want
to, like, cry in front of them,because my my nephew has studied
it. My niece was asking a lot ofquestions, but, yeah, I could
feel myself. I'm like, and I'mlike, I I'm glad I saw it. I
never want to go
Kristen Daukas (33:04):
there again.
Yeah, no, I agree. It's, yeah,it's hard. It's, it's very I
almost think that has to be ourequivalent of our parents. If
your your dad served the timethat I took my dad, who was a
vet, who was a Vietnam vet, tothe wall, it has to be a very
similar reaction that you getout of that we're hammering in
on 33 minutes. So let's do somepop culture real quick, and then
(33:29):
we're gonna sign off. So back tothe 80s favorite, favorite band,
Unknown (33:38):
Duran. Duran, and
Kristen Daukas (33:39):
who were you gonna marry Simon labonne? I
wanted the lead singer, Roger. Iwas the drummer. I was the
drummer.
Unknown (33:46):
And then I would say Depeche Mode became my second
favorite, where my sister andbrother would call them
depressed mode, right? Theystill do, but I don't care. I
love them. Anyways, yeah, forme,
Kristen Daukas (33:55):
it was the police and, yeah, it's so funny
just listening to all of thesebands. And so are you aware
there's a thing called the 80scruise?
Unknown (34:07):
Yes, yes, really, yeah.
Kristen Daukas (34:10):
I really want to go, but you have to, like, you
know, get your reservations,like, a year in advance. And I
just, every year I look at allthe different bands and artists
that are going to be on. I'mlike, Oh, that would be so much
fun. That'd be, that'd be a,that would be a party boat,
definitely.
Unknown (34:29):
Gen X note, we know how to party,
Kristen Daukas (34:31):
yeah, yeah. And, you know, I was just, um, with,
I think it was my middle and Iwas having this conversation. We
were doing the whole, gosh, werewe at a bar? We were, oh yes, it
was a going away party for oneof my friends, and the topic of
(34:51):
fireball. Fireball came out, andI've been standing there with
another Gen X, and we're like,Yeah, but when we were partying,
our had goal. Gold flakes in it.
24 karat gold. Yes,
Unknown (35:02):
gold schlugger slogger.
Yes. That was the old because I,like, I wouldn't do a mine
eraser. And some of the I was,like, the rumble minutes, or I'm
like, But gold saga, I thought Iwas so sophisticated because of
the gold. And that stuff tasteddisgusting. It was like cough
medicine. But, you know, it hadgold in it. So
Kristen Daukas (35:19):
look how cool I am. So anytime any of the kids
are doing like, Fireball, I'mlike, you rookies, ours had gold
in it,
Unknown (35:28):
are the kids that are like, I'm gonna try Everclear.
And I'm like, Are you insane? Wedidn't drink it straight, yeah.
And then they're like, spittingit out. And it's like, we put it
in things because we weren'tthat dumb. Her, we were dumb,
and then we learned better.
Hurricane
Kristen Daukas (35:44):
parties. Hello, Hurricane punch, put it in the
Unknown (35:50):
bathtub. Things
Kristen Daukas (35:51):
that we did.
It's like, Would you ever nowsay, Hey, give me a cup of that
juice out of the bathtub.
Unknown (35:59):
Nope. Also, because I know if I had one cup of that,
I'd probably feel real bad then,or, who knows, at this point in
my life, like one drink can putme in bed for a day. Four
drinks, I'm fine. I don't youknow. You never know. So not
that I want four drinks, butit's like, it's just never
Kristen Daukas (36:14):
know what you're guessing. Go, oh, okay, bye.
This was fun. This is a lot offun. So I'm gonna sign off, and
then you and I can continuetowards the end. And so
everybody, thank you so much.
Thank you Blythe for joining usand taking a couple of trips
down memory lane, almost in thequite a few decades. Did we
touch on tonight? So everybody,thanks for listening, and until
(36:37):
the next time we meet, may yourdrinks be strong and your will
be stronger. See ya. As thesaying goes, you don't have to
go home, but you can stay here,and that's a wrap for this
week's episode. A big thanks tomy guests for sharing their
story and to you for listening.
Don't forget to share the showwith your friends and spread the
(36:59):
words and if you'd like to be aguest on the show, the link is
in the show notes till nexttime. Cheers you.
Kristen
Kristen Daukas (00:05):
daukas, welcome to Conversations on the rocks,
the podcast where the drink isstrong and the stories are
stronger. I'm your host, Kristendaukas, and this isn't your
average chat fest. Here. Realpeople spill the tea alongside
their favorite drinks, from thehilarious to the heart
wrenching, each episode a wildcard. You'll laugh, you may cry,
but you'll definitely learnsomething new. So grab whatever,
(00:27):
what's your whistle and buckleup. It's time to dive into the
raw, the real and theridiculously human. Let's get
this chat party started. Heyeverybody, it's Kristen daukas,
and you are listening toconversations on the rocks, the
podcast that is as random as thethoughts that rumble through my
head like Tumbleweed in Texas.
I'm super excited. I have BlytheAlpern with me today, and she's
(00:52):
a copywriter, but mostimportantly, she is the host of
the Gen X Experience podcast,which I was on a few weeks ago,
and we're gonna talk about Gen Xstuff. Y'all, so if you're not
Gen X, you can dip out now, oryou can listen and learn to find
out why we are the F around andfind out generation Blythe.
(01:16):
Please introduce yourself,
Unknown (01:21):
hello. Yes, I am Blythe Alpern. I Yes, I'm a copywriter
and a proud Gen Xer. I'mactually turning the Big Five,
oh, next month, and I'm actuallyexcited for it, unlike when I
was turning 30. So, right, yeah,I
Kristen Daukas (01:38):
30 was a mind.
It was a mind you know what? Iwas
Unknown (01:42):
like having a mental breakdown. Basically, my mother
was like, Get over yourself.
Kristen Daukas (01:48):
Girl, I wish I was turning 30.
Unknown (01:52):
Yes, yeah. Sometimes I'm like, can I go back there
and just smack myself and belike, be happy to be 30. And
also, here's a few guys that youshould not date, and a few jobs
you should not take.
Kristen Daukas (02:07):
Dear past Blythe future blight has some good
advice for you. She does talk alittle bit about your podcast.
Unknown (02:16):
So I've been a podcast fan before, like, for deck,
like, at least a decade, I gotinto them very early, and I
never thought about having oneuntil a few years ago. Maybe, I
guess, during the pandemic, weall had lots of ideas. And I was
like, You know what, there's notreally a place for Gen X. Like,
there are some Gen X podcasts,but they're mostly about pop
(02:36):
culture. Or, you know, lookingback at movies and like, I want
a place for us to come on and,you know, commiserate, bitch,
complain, be snarky, and talkabout the things that are
affecting being in midlife, andthen mix that with a little bit
of nostalgia, because it is funto look back at the 80s and the
90s and 70s and just reminisceabout The good old days before
(03:00):
social media, right?
Kristen Daukas (03:02):
All of us, I think, are pretty can definitely
say, and I've told my girlsthis, because everyone knows
I've got three young adultchildren. I am so glad we did
not have all of this when wewere growing up as especially
being latchkey kids. Can youimagine with the crap that we
got into and the oh my god, canyou imagine? Had some I mean,
(03:23):
the worst thing we had wassomebody passing a note in the
eighth grade and then gettingpopped by the teacher and having
to read it out loud. That wasthe worst thing. I just can't
imagine. And one of the thingsthat I have done in the past, I
don't do it so much anymore, iscoaching parents on social
media, because it is just acompletely different growing up
(03:44):
situation when you're dealingwith having the technology and
the social media involved in it.
So that what you just said is agreat segue to what you and I
said that we were going to talkabout, and that is Gen X. And I
took, I'm going to make a mashup of Gen X and the importance
of self care. And what I thinkis fascinating is, and we
(04:05):
touched on this a little bitwhen you and I had our
conversation on your show, isthat it's such a foreign it was
a completely foreign concept toour mothers, who most mostly are
baby boomers. So we didn't growup with a good and I'm not
saying our moms weren't goodrole models, but we didn't grow
up with a good example ofputting our priorities first. So
(04:26):
let's talk a little bit aboutpriorities, self care,
boundaries, all of which I mightadd, we had to teach ourselves.
Unknown (04:38):
Yes, yeah, because it's funny, my mom worked. She
basically ran the show of mydad's office and our family and
everything else. And she wouldalways tell my sister my brother
and you know, you can bewhatever you want and be
independent, but then you knowshe never, she didn't put
herself first ever. It was thefamily. It was my dad's
(04:59):
business. And I remember lookingat that and going, I love my
mom. She's amazing, but I don'twant to become that, where I put
myself last, right? That'seasier said than done. It really
took, yeah, it really took from2015 to 2020, I my parents both
(05:19):
were sick, and they bothsubsequently passed away. And I
looked at myself in the mirrorafter losing my dad, and I was
like, what I don't I don't likewhat I see. I don't like the way
I'm looking. I was exhausted,emotionally, physically. I'm
like, I need to take care ofmyself, because I'm in my 40s,
and if I don't do something now,what am I going to be like in my
(05:41):
50s and 60s and 70s? And it wasa physical thing, and also, like
a mental, emotional, spiritual,everything, I just kind of was
like, I need to do something soI can feel better. And because I
was still grieving, you know,which a grief never goes away,
that, yeah, so I needed anoutlet for also was the
(06:02):
pandemic, like we all were goingcompletely insane, so I just
started making choices to tobetter take care of myself in
small ways and in in biggerways.
Kristen Daukas (06:15):
And people, some people, you know, we were kind
of raised in a sense of selfcare is selfish, is you know, so
you have to put everybody first.
If you are a woman, your spouse,your children, you know, the the
grocery store, person, themailman, your job, everything
came first. And if you try tostand up and say, You know what?
(06:39):
I don't know about you. My momnever took a trip by herself or
with her friends ever. And youjust, you know, if you don't do
that, if you don't do thesethings, you're gonna and it's so
true, you can't pour from anempty cup. You have to pour from
the saucer, and it takes a lot.
And you're right. I think a lotof that my dad passed away when,
(07:04):
thank God in in 2019 not thankGod that he died, but thank God
he passed away before covid hit,because we would have never
survived that. But it was kindof that was a big wake up call,
turning 54 turning 40 wasturning 40 was a I have no more
filter. I'm going to stoppretending, to put a filter in
place. And then turning 50 waskind of like a badass, you know,
(07:26):
I am woman, hear me roar, kindof thing. But it also kind of
coincides with that whole, wow,we're not even midlife anymore.
We're past midlife. And, youknow, it was very shocking
revelation to me that I went, ohshit, it's autumn. It's not
summer anymore. It's autumn.
Winter is coming. I've
Unknown (07:48):
lived half, yeah, I lived half my life. What's the
next part of it gonna look like?
And yeah, and
Kristen Daukas (07:54):
you can find yourself getting bogged down by
that, and can become verydepressing, you know? You can
go, Gosh, at best, you know, Imight have 20. I'm 55 I turned
55 last year, and I'm like, Ihope I've got another 20 in me.
I'd like to have another 25 inme, but you don't know. And so
if you're continue to, you know,go around and do all the things
for everybody else, but you whatkind of existence is that it's
(08:16):
at
Unknown (08:16):
the end of the day, you know? I it's like, I think when
people always say, you know,work isn't everything. Of
course, it's not. And I wish ourculture was better, that because
people on their deathbeds, theirregrets are never, oh, you know,
I really wish I would haveworked more. No, it's I wish I
would have gone here. I wish Iwould have spent time with more
time my family. I wish I wouldhave done this and that. And,
you know, losing my parents.
They were in their 70s, and, youknow they were, they had just
(08:40):
retired, and they didn't get todo, not that they didn't do
things, but they were like, wewant to do this, and then you
get to do any of it. That's
Kristen Daukas (08:47):
so true, because when my stepdad died, he died,
he passed when he was 60, and hewas at type A we talked about
it. He was at the office atseven, came home at five, walked
in the yard until it got dark.
My mom had to have a meet andthree on the table by 6pm and
when my oldest daughter wasborn, it was like, when I when
this happens, then this happens.
(09:09):
And that generation was so trueto this. Like, when I say
$50,000 then I'm gonna do thiswhen I retire, then I'm gonna do
this. And so many of them, it'sjust I didn't the same as you I
don't want to be that way, likewe're not promised tomorrow.
Unknown (09:25):
No, we're not. And you know women, you know well
especially, think like, you knowwomen. Of course, we were always
taught you can do anything, butyou got to put yourself last.
And then our parents also hadthat philosophy of like, you
know, first in, last out. Atwork, I remember my dad telling
me that, and when I was talkingabout because in advertising,
you kind of move around. That'show you would right be promoted,
(09:48):
right? And my parents just foundthat completely crazy. Granted,
my parents never worked in thecorporate field. My dad was an
orthodontist. My mother was adental hygienist, so they didn't
understand the corporate world.
But. But they would just saythings or, like, suck it up, or
life's that's how life is.
That's how things are. And Iremember being in my 20s and my
(10:08):
30s, and like, feeling like Iwas drowning and no lifeline,
and there was not, like, myparents didn't get it, you know,
friends kind of got it, but wewere all in the same spot. So it
took a long time to get to thepoint where I was like, This is
not how I want to live the restof my life. And I'm not perfect,
perfect at it. I'm always a workin progress. But who
Kristen Daukas (10:32):
is? Try every day. You know who is, and you're
self employed as well, aren'tyou? Yes, yes. So we both are.
And you know, can you greatexample, my middle flew in from
Pittsburgh last Monday, and so Iwas able to spend time with her
Monday and Tuesday, then we tookoff to Ohio on Wednesday, and,
you know, for the holiday. Butyou know, our parents would have
(10:54):
never had the ability that youand I do to say, You know what,
I'm going to get out of town.
And the cool thing is, as longas I've got an internet
connection and my laptop I canwork from wherever. Is it ideal?
No, I still kind of like myroutine and being in my groove
and in my little home office.
But our parents would have neverbeen able to do that. They got
two weeks of vacation a year.
And however, 12 federalholidays, however many federal
(11:16):
holidays there were, and thatwas it. Yeah.
Unknown (11:20):
And since my, you know, parents owned the business,
like, if my dad wasn't working,that doesn't mean that, you
know, more patients were comingin. And, you know, we used to
want to go, like, like, Dad, whycan't we go skiing? And he's
like, Well, if I break a leg,then there's no money. You know,
of course, he was doom andgloom, or he wouldn't like
skimming, because if I, yeah, ifI break something, and I'm like,
we'll just wheel you up to thechairs. You can still treat
(11:43):
patients, but, you know, it waslike a different pressure. But
yeah, now we can connect fromanywhere. It does make it
sometimes harder to go. No, no,I'm gonna disconnect. I'm gonna
take the vacation, because
Kristen Daukas (11:55):
I'm doing that in September for two weeks.
We're going to Greece. And it'slike, I've already told I'm
like, I'm not taking mycomputer. I am going to start
filling those, you know, twoweeks of work now so that it's
because we do we need tocompletely, you know, we're that
generation that is both analogand digital. So, you know, it's
very easy for us to rememberwhat it was like to shut the
(12:19):
laptop or turn it off, orwhatever, or not even have it.
You know. Do you remember thedays how nice it was when you
left work for vacation andyou're like, bye, Susie, I'll
see you in a week and a half,and that was it. Yep, there was
no checking your phone. Therewas no calling in, there was no
voicemail, there was nothing.
Was my
Unknown (12:38):
five Exactly. And I remember we all started getting
cell phones, and my job wouldwant. Job would want my cell
phone, and I'm like, No, you canhave my home phone number, but
I'm not giving you my cell phonebecause I don't want to be that
connected. And I even try. Ilearned this as being a
freelancer is I turn the emailnotifications off of my phone
because I was getting clients.
Sometimes they were in adifferent times than like a
client in Australia, but I wouldget clients emailing me at
(13:01):
night, and I would see it, andthen I'd be like, my mind when
and I'm like, no, no, I don'twant to see it. And I that's
been that way for years. I willgo in and check it, and
sometimes I'll schedule anemail. Otherwise, I'm like, You
know what? That can wait tilltomorrow, because I need to have
my time and I need to turn offwork mode.
Kristen Daukas (13:18):
And I have, since this new I've been back in
business for myself for the pastfour years. And there, when I
first had my agency back in 2008before I went and then there was
a company in between. I didthat, it was always constant,
like, Oh, I've got to respondright now I'm in social media
and digital marketing. Can Itell you, in the 15 years that
(13:40):
I've been doing this, how manyemergencies I have had? One?
Yeah, and it's just it doesn't.
And I was like, No. And I had aclient text me last week on the
fourth I was like, Really,boundaries, boundaries. And, you
know, I like that. We havegotten better. And again, I
think it's an age thing. Um,yes, as far as setting those
(14:03):
boundaries and saying, No, itcan wait. It can wait. And you
have
Unknown (14:10):
and the thing is, you know, you I think it's good to
start in one place, like maybeset them in work, but you also
have to set them in yourpersonal life with people that
you're friends with, or you'redating or what. But you also
have to set them for yourself.
Of like, this is what I will do.
This is what I will not do.
These are the times that I will,you know, be good to myself. I
will, like, do the self care.
This is the time, you know,like, I will take a rest, and
(14:30):
that's okay, because, you know,like, I love that. I sometimes
will take naps. And it's funny,because when we were kids, were
like, oh, nap time. Come on ourbedtime. And now I'm like, Oh,
please, please. Right now, timein my day,
Kristen Daukas (14:43):
I wish I could nap. I can't nap. It takes me
too long to get this to slowdown, to to be able to so I've
always found if and my familyand or the girls know, like, if
I'm taking a nap, I'm sick, I'msick. Um, but yeah, you're
right, and you. Watching TV. IfI want to binge watch an entire
(15:03):
series, I'm gonna do it. I don'tconsider it lazy. I'll call it
conserving energy. I amconserving my energy.
Unknown (15:12):
Yes, we don't have to do, you know, appointment TV,
like, I mean, I do miss thatwhere it was. You know, you
knew, as a collective, likenation or whatever, we were all
watching this show or thisepisode, because if you didn't
see it, you missed it, maybe youcould see it in the reruns. So I
missed that a little bit, but wedo, you know there are shows
you've been watched, bingewatched, that everyone's talking
about, and you can text yourfriends and be like, did you see
(15:33):
this episode? Did you see thatepisode? And yeah, it is. It is
kind of a form of relaxation andself care. And you know, I love
to watch cult documentaries. Mysister and I are both into the I
am fascinated, fascinated bycults. And, yeah, I don't care.
It's my guilty pleasure.
Kristen Daukas (15:51):
We gotta have your guilty pleasure. Yeah,
that's all right. Summer for meis Big Brother. It's the most
cheesy, campiest thing, butthat's like our summer guilty
pleasure, and it starts nextWednesday, and I can't wait. And
it's so funny I've gotten we nowhave a pool. You know how you
have a football betting pool? Wedo it for Big Brother. And now
(16:12):
it used to just be me, Steve andCassie, the youngest, and now
she's pulled, like three of herfriends in
Unknown (16:20):
that's great. Did you because big brother started
right in England, I think, Ithink so across the pond. I
wonder the difference betweenhow things are here versus so
Kristen Daukas (16:32):
it's interesting. You say that
because there's another show,um, traitor, the traitor, and it
started in Australia, and so nowthey have like Australia,
England, America, and there'sone other version, and it's very
interesting, because we'vewatched them all now. It's
interesting to see thedifference between how the
(16:54):
Americans do it and and not justlike the show itself, but the
people that are contestants.
It's really kind of fascinating,because it is. It's definitely
very different. And we also havethe Olympics starting up. So
let's talk about some fun stuffwith Jenna, speaking of TV, what
was your okay? First of all, didyou watch soaps after school?
Unknown (17:17):
I did when, when I was in college, most more and a
little bit when I was younger.
My, like I said, my both myparents worked, and we did have
someone watching us. My brotherwas four years younger, and the
woman that would like kind of wecalled her aunt Frida. She was
the loveliest woman. She watchedsoap. So we will sometimes watch
those. My mother didn't reallylike it, but,
Kristen Daukas (17:38):
you know, Aunt Frida wanted to see them. So
guess what kids were watching?
Did we're watching soaps? Yeah,I was a big Guiding Light
person. That was my thing. I wasguiding light when everybody was
General Hospital with the Lukeand Alan Michael.
Unknown (17:51):
I loved,
Kristen Daukas (17:54):
yeah, that was, and then, of course, you know,
you had your going back to whatyou were talking about with when
we were, you know, the TV Guidedays, you know, Friday night. It
was, what it was, what was theshow on before Dallas?
Unknown (18:08):
Was it Falcon Crest or No?
Kristen Daukas (18:10):
Was it Dallas and then fantasy? No, no, no.
I'm thinking Saturday, Saturdaynight, Love Boat, then Fantasy
Island, Fantasy
Unknown (18:17):
Island, yes. And when we're little, I remember it was
The Muppet Show that yes, wason, I think on Saturday night,
yeah,
Kristen Daukas (18:22):
but and then on, you know, during the mornings,
were your parents early risersin the weekends.
Unknown (18:29):
My mother was my dad, not so much. He liked to kind of
sleep in, but my mom, she wouldget up early ever I'm like,
Don't you know how to sleep in?
I just, I craves. I am a verybad sleeper, but I love to sleep
in. But yeah, they were up myand my sister and brother would
get up early to watch cartoons.
And I was like, cartoons are forbabies. My sister's 16 months
(18:49):
younger than me, and my brother,like I said, is four years but I
was just like, they're babies.
And I just wanted to, you know,have my, I think I just wanted
to have my own time alone. Andyeah, and
Kristen Daukas (18:59):
with three of you in the house, I can totally
understand that. Yeah, becauseSaturdays, I was an only child.
I grew up an only child. So thatwas, you know, get up and before
my mom married my stepdad when?
But she did that when I was,like, seven years old. So there
weren't, you know, she slept in.
And I definitely was the, go getyourself some cereal, sit in
front of the and, you know,those days, it's, it's, it's
(19:21):
innocent, you know, I thinkthat's the thing that, that
we're missing is, you know, youdidn't hear 24/7 of all the
horrible things going on in ourworld. You know, it's just so
true.
Unknown (19:36):
Hear what actual AI generated voices are saying
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(19:58):
if AI generated voice. Is aresaying that about the Wheelers
dog podcast. Shouldn't you be alistener too?
Kristen Daukas (20:06):
So what are some of the ways that you you
intentionally practice selfcare? For you,
Unknown (20:11):
one of my favorite things to do, even though now
it's like so so hot, I lovegoing outside and going for a
walk. I live by this trail inAtlanta called the Beltline. It
used to be a railroad track, andthey turned into a walking path.
And I, which I started doingduring the pandemic, just to get
outside, I would go take my dogand go for a walk. And I still
(20:32):
love doing that one it's it'sfun for people watching. There's
some very interesting characterson the BeltLine, and some very
annoying people as well, whotake the whole sidewalk. But I
love being outside. I love goinghiking. I don't do that as much
as I can. I have a thing forrooftop bars, and I find that a
self care, because I lovesitting outside with a amazing
cocktail and just looking out atthe view, spending time with my
(20:56):
dog, my nieces and nephew. Ilove that I get to watch them
grow up and hopefully still staythe cool aunt my my nephew.
Sometimes it's like, oh, socringe, but I do it on purpose.
It's, of course, that's our job.
Of course it is we you know,it's, he's in junior high, and I
remember junior high, and I'mlike, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna
try to speak the lingo. I don'tunderstand a lot of their their
(21:19):
slang, but I will pick up onwords, and then I'll say it.
He's like, Oh, so cringe. I'mlike, mission accomplished.
Kristen Daukas (21:27):
Funny thing is, they don't realize that we're
doing it intentionally. No,
Unknown (21:32):
they will later. I'm sure later he'll be like, you
know, yeah, yeah, writing in myjournal. I love music. My dog
hates my singing, I don't I wasthe other night. I was, I'll do
like, the Doom scroll, but I'lllisten to, like, they'll have
80s music, come on, and I'llstart singing along. And he was
like, pieing me. Like, please,no way. Yeah. He was like,
cuddling. And he's like, everytime he just put his like, Mom,
(21:55):
you're killing me. I'm like, Idon't think my voice is that
bad.
Kristen Daukas (22:00):
And then, like, listen, I brought you home. I
rescued you. Have this wonderfullife because of me. Maybe he was
trying
Unknown (22:08):
to stay with you, maybe, maybe, but, yeah, I mean,
do it? I, which would be fine.
I, yeah, instead of just beinggiving me the look like, you
know, maybe just my voice ishurts his ears because of the
level, whatever it is. But whatelse is sleep? Sleep is
definitely self care for me,because I'm so bad at it that
when I get a good night's sleep,or even just being lazy, like a
(22:30):
lazy Sunday,
Kristen Daukas (22:34):
it's not lazy, it's energy preservation, true,
Unknown (22:39):
yes, but like not getting out of my pajamas all
day, and unless, like,obviously, to take the dog out,
but just reading, listening topodcasts, listening to auto
book, audio books, binging, whatjust or doing absolutely nothing
is like the best self
Kristen Daukas (22:54):
care. Yeah, the man travels largely during the
week, so on the rare occasionthat he leaves on like a Sunday.
It is my heaven. And I when Iknow this, I plan in advance so
I don't leave the house andthen, and he typically takes
really, really early flights soI can sleep in as long as the
(23:15):
dogs will let me, which latelyhas not been a very good thing.
And but then I know I can justget up. I don't have to get
dressed. I can just putts. And Iputts. That's my thing. That's
what I love to do. Like, whereyou kind of squirrel your way
through the house and you don'tnecessarily have a to do list.
It's like, you go, you start onone project, and then you turn
(23:35):
around, you go, Oh, I can dothat. Oh, look, I need to
straighten up the whatever. Andbefore you know it, you have all
these little micro things. And Iknow it sounds really weird, but
those are my favorite days thatjust kind of random, that go
with the flow, and there's noagenda. If you want to stop and
have a mimosa on a Sunday, youcan, if you want to eat cookie
(23:56):
dough, you can, and you can dothis every day, but obviously,
you know, Monday through Friday,most of us do have some kind of
professional obligations that wehave to so it's just not the
same. Just nice to have that daywhere you're just doing a whole
lot of nothing,
Unknown (24:11):
Yep, yeah. And added bonus,
Kristen Daukas (24:13):
if it's bad weather, because then you're
like,
Unknown (24:15):
yes, a rainy Sunday. I love a rainy Sunday. Yes, it's
the best. Yeah, this
Kristen Daukas (24:23):
is God's way of telling me, stay home, exactly,
Unknown (24:27):
cozy up. Watch something ridiculous, you know.
And doesn't have to beeducational. It can be silly.
And then, you know, just cuddleup with your pets if you have
them, yep, and yeah. And justenjoy the time. Because, you
know life is life is short, andsometimes you just need to stop
and pause and realize that theact of not doing something is
(24:51):
doing something absolutelyyourself,
Kristen Daukas (24:53):
well. And I think too, you know, going back
to our parents, you know thatwhole, you know, in first, you
know, early in. And laid outtype attitude, and you need to
stick around. You need to staywith that company and get your
gold watch. Is that we realizethat if we were working in a
traditional corporate job, youknow, we want to quit, we give
(25:14):
them the common courtesy of atwo week notice, right? But if
they want to get rid of us, Imean, boom, you're done. You're
done tomorrow, you're donetoday. And here's your we need
your all of your stuff, and theywon't think twice about it. And
to think that, I think it's avery interesting moment when you
finally realize that everyone isreplaceable. Because definitely
(25:35):
feeling that you'reirreplaceable is a youth thing,
and definitely into your 20s.
And then I don't know if ittakes that first time getting
fired or laid off or whatever,that you go and you just like,
I'm not. I'm not. And that'sanother cool thing about our
generation, is we weredefinitely the generation that
said there is no companyloyalty, and that was really
hard for our parents to get andit sounds like that exactly with
(25:56):
your with your folks, and it wasthe same with my mom and
stepdad, you know, it was like,you've got to stay and, you
know, you can't be bouncingaround. And I'm like, sometimes
Unknown (26:06):
you're forced to do that. And, you know, funny
enough, like, my dad was the onethat suggested I go into
advertising. When I was younger,I wanted to be a marine
biologist and work with belugawhales. But then, because I had
childhood asthma, I found out Icouldn't dive anymore, because
it was, like, a very serioushealth risk. And so he was
really good, you're created,yeah, spree, you know, I didn't
want to, like, go diving andthen have an air bubble. I'm
(26:27):
like, Yeah, I want to be able tohave a life. And he my dad's
like, you're a creative. Youlike to write. So what about
advertising? Thanks so much,dad, because it was a, it's a
very hard career that isn'tstable. And I were the first
agency I was at, of course,started my career at the time
the.com bubble burst. So ofcourse, you know, advertising
goes and I went to lunch andcame back. And in the time I was
(26:50):
gone, there was a mass layoff atmy agency, so I came back to see
my friends crying. And, youknow, after the agency had told
us, no, everything's fine,because all around, I was living
in Chicago, all around agencieswere laying people off, like,
we're fine, no, and I later gotlaid off in a subsequent layoff.
But it was like a real I waslike, Oh my gosh, this is, this
(27:11):
is scary. So, yeah, we and wewent through the recession. We
went through like, you know,with 911 like, we've been
through things. People forgetthat every generation goes
through things, but we've
Kristen Daukas (27:21):
been through a lot of things. We've been
through a lot of things, and thea number of things that we have
been through is really kind ofthe reason why we are such a
tough nut generation. It's like,Let me have it.
Unknown (27:36):
What next it exactly.
Kristen Daukas (27:39):
And I was good.
There was a question I was goingto ask you talking about, I'll
think about brain fart, but,yeah, I mean, that's the reason
we are the fafo, as they like tosay, the up around and find out
generation. It's like, youcannot hurt me anymore. We were
lash key kids. We had the wholeHave you seen me? You know, the
(28:00):
milk carton, things we had, the11 o'clock announcement that
came across a TV parents, do youknow where your children are?
It's like, Well, God, I hope youdo. Yeah. I mean, the recession
we had, you know, the war we Imean it, there's so many things.
It's like, No wonder we're alljust twisted individuals. I
mean, yeah,
Unknown (28:22):
and we watched the space shuttle blow up live, and
our parents were like, you know,we have discussions about, how
do you feel about that? No, Imean, because I remember going
those, you know, yes, kids werewatching, but the kids of those
astronauts, especially theteacher, watched their parents
explode. And I was just like,and we're thinking, no
(28:43):
discussion, nothing, you know,we're just Yeah, and we would
watch the news at night. Veryinteresting. The teachers
Kristen Daukas (28:48):
that will the AV card in just turned it off.
Fine, yeah, okay, pull out yourbooks and turn to chapter four
Unknown (28:57):
and keep going. We're like, what? Yeah. And we would
watch the news at night, right?
And our we see all the badthings happening. I don't
remember my parents ever goingso what do you think? And how
are you feeling? No, it's like,I don't It's nice that you have
feelings about whatever it is,whether it's the world or your
own life, but you keep doing godo the dishes, go to your
homework, go to bed, you'll befine.
Kristen Daukas (29:17):
Get a good night's sleep, you'll be fine.
Yeah? Just minor flesh wound,yeah. And then, you know, think
about it, but yet we havingthen, like our young adult
years, be in the 90s, that was apretty cool time, right? Pretty
cool time. And then we gotgobsmacked with freaking 911
(29:37):
Yes, and you're just like, and Itruly think that if any of us
had any innocence and grandioseideas, that the world was a
wonderful place that was thatcame crashing down. Then I was
so distinctly because we wereliving in Pennsylvania, and I
was terrified because I waslike, how did this happen in
(29:59):
America? Like I was just so, andI really think at least for me,
if where that, I won't call itbitter point. But by that point,
I was, was like, 33 was like, ittruly the end of innocence, you
know, whatever. And you know, Ihad small children. My youngest
(30:19):
wasn't even born. My middle hadjust been born six months
before, and you're just like, Ohmy God. And so, like, we
definitely know life has neverbeen the same, you know, since
we grew up. But it definitely
Unknown (30:35):
whatever is before that. I mean, yes, the World
Trade Center had been bombed, Ithink, in the in the 90s and
then, but before that, the onlytime America was under attack
was Pearl harbors, and that wasso far removed. And then, yeah,
911 like it, yeah, it. It wassuch a it was so horrible,
because we're watching it inlive, you know, live time
(30:55):
happening. And then our countryreally has changed. And I was
just, we went to New York. Itwas my niece and nephews, first
time in New York. So of course,because I lived there, I had to
go, right? And we went to the911 Memorial. And it's the first
time that I've been to somethingwhere that's, you know,
historical, where I'm, like, Ilived through this. This has a,
did you cry? Different impact?
No, I didn't. But it was, it wasvery everyone. It was only time
(31:19):
to somewhere. I was like, veryquiet, but also I'm like, this
is a grave site. I'm walking ona grave site. And I actually
happened to, I moved to New Yorkright after 911 and my, a friend
of mine, we went and worked atthe respite centers for the Red
Cross. So I was down there twiceand saw the change in the the
work, you know, the emergencyworkers, from like, optimistic
(31:42):
to totally defeated. And Iremember the smell, number
everything, but, yeah, it's, itwas like that. I know, you know,
for kids to see that that wereyounger has to have an impact.
But as an adult, I think we hada better understanding of, like,
okay, America, isn't we can beattacked like and what's gonna
happen? And it wasn't, it wasn'ta good point. And even now
(32:03):
today, I'm like, What is goingon with, you know, not to get
political,
Kristen Daukas (32:08):
but that kind of goes back to, you know, I'm just
gonna call it what it is, the BSthat we were fed as kids growing
up. This is the greatest countryin the world. You can do
anything you want to do. You canbe anything you can if you work
hard, you can have all thethings that you want. And the
reason why I asked if you criedis because I'm a pretty tough
knot, like, I'm very not a lotof emotion, and that going down
(32:32):
that escalator, yeah, I just, Ijust remember, I was almost
hypervent, not like crying, butI was just like, in tears, and I
was just like, I had to take alot of deep breaths.
Unknown (32:45):
Yeah, I mean, I felt myself, but I was with I mean,
my niece and nephew are almost13 and almost 11. I didn't want
to, like, cry in front of them,because my my nephew has studied
it. My niece was asking a lot ofquestions, but, yeah, I could
feel myself. I'm like, and I'mlike, I I'm glad I saw it. I
never want to go
Kristen Daukas (33:04):
there again.
Yeah, no, I agree. It's, yeah,it's hard. It's, it's very I
almost think that has to be ourequivalent of our parents. If
your your dad served the timethat I took my dad, who was a
vet, who was a Vietnam vet, tothe wall, it has to be a very
similar reaction that you getout of that we're hammering in
on 33 minutes. So let's do somepop culture real quick, and then
(33:29):
we're gonna sign off. So back tothe 80s favorite, favorite band,
Unknown (33:38):
Duran. Duran, and
Kristen Daukas (33:39):
who were you gonna marry Simon labonne? I
wanted the lead singer, Roger. Iwas the drummer. I was the
drummer.
Unknown (33:46):
And then I would say Depeche Mode became my second
favorite, where my sister andbrother would call them
depressed mode, right? Theystill do, but I don't care. I
love them. Anyways, yeah, forme,
Kristen Daukas (33:55):
it was the police and, yeah, it's so funny
just listening to all of thesebands. And so are you aware
there's a thing called the 80scruise?
Unknown (34:07):
Yes, yes, really, yeah.
Kristen Daukas (34:10):
I really want to go, but you have to, like, you
know, get your reservations,like, a year in advance. And I
just, every year I look at allthe different bands and artists
that are going to be on. I'mlike, Oh, that would be so much
fun. That'd be, that'd be a,that would be a party boat,
definitely.
Unknown (34:29):
Gen X note, we know how to party,
Kristen Daukas (34:31):
yeah, yeah. And, you know, I was just, um, with,
I think it was my middle and Iwas having this conversation. We
were doing the whole, gosh, werewe at a bar? We were, oh yes, it
was a going away party for oneof my friends, and the topic of
(34:51):
fireball. Fireball came out, andI've been standing there with
another Gen X, and we're like,Yeah, but when we were partying,
our had goal. Gold flakes in it.
24 karat gold. Yes,
Unknown (35:02):
gold schlugger slogger.
Yes. That was the old because I,like, I wouldn't do a mine
eraser. And some of the I was,like, the rumble minutes, or I'm
like, But gold saga, I thought Iwas so sophisticated because of
the gold. And that stuff tasteddisgusting. It was like cough
medicine. But, you know, it hadgold in it. So
Kristen Daukas (35:19):
look how cool I am. So anytime any of the kids
are doing like, Fireball, I'mlike, you rookies, ours had gold
in it,
Unknown (35:28):
are the kids that are like, I'm gonna try Everclear.
And I'm like, Are you insane? Wedidn't drink it straight, yeah.
And then they're like, spittingit out. And it's like, we put it
in things because we weren'tthat dumb. Her, we were dumb,
and then we learned better.
Hurricane
Kristen Daukas (35:44):
parties. Hello, Hurricane punch, put it in the
Unknown (35:50):
bathtub. Things
Kristen Daukas (35:51):
that we did.
It's like, Would you ever nowsay, Hey, give me a cup of that
juice out of the bathtub.
Unknown (35:59):
Nope. Also, because I know if I had one cup of that,
I'd probably feel real bad then,or, who knows, at this point in
my life, like one drink can putme in bed for a day. Four
drinks, I'm fine. I don't youknow. You never know. So not
that I want four drinks, butit's like, it's just never
Kristen Daukas (36:14):
know what you're guessing. Go, oh, okay, bye.
This was fun. This is a lot offun. So I'm gonna sign off, and
then you and I can continuetowards the end. And so
everybody, thank you so much.
Thank you Blythe for joining usand taking a couple of trips
down memory lane, almost in thequite a few decades. Did we
touch on tonight? So everybody,thanks for listening, and until
(36:37):
the next time we meet, may yourdrinks be strong and your will
be stronger. See ya. As thesaying goes, you don't have to
go home, but you can stay here,and that's a wrap for this
week's episode. A big thanks tomy guests for sharing their
story and to you for listening.
Don't forget to share the showwith your friends and spread the
(36:59):
words and if you'd like to be aguest on the show, the link is
in the show notes till nexttime. Cheers you.
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