Why Rest Feels Wrong (And How to Reclaim It)

Why does rest feel so hard? And how can you finally embrace it without guilt? In this episode, we uncover why slowing down feels uncomfortable and share practical tips to help you rewire your nervous system for calm and clarity. With inspiring insights and actionable strategies, you’ll learn how to shift from burnout to balance, honor your core self, and embrace rest as a necessity—not a luxury.

Feel inspired to create realistic goals rooted in intentional growth and progress over perfection. Discover how to replace guilt with peace, and stillness with strength, while reclaiming your time and energy. You deserve a life where rest isn’t earned but integrated into your rhythm.

Join us as we redefine rest, explore mindful resolutions, and build a foundation of happiness and restoration. Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe to stay connected and continue your journey toward intentional living and personal growth. Let’s create a life you love! #selfimprovement #mindfulresolutions #newyearmotivation #achievablegoals #happinessjourney

#embracingrest #autonomicnervoussystem #mentalhealth #sleepmusic #nervoussystemhealing

CHAPTERS:

00:00 - Intro to Rest and Recovery

00:40 - Why Rest Feels Uncomfortable: Understanding Discomfort

07:20 - Rewire Your Thinking: Embracing Rest

09:44 - Core Clarity Reset Workshop: Finding Balance

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Tell me if this sounds familiar.
You finally get a quietmoment to yourself.
No one's calling, no emails to answer.
You sit down, ready to rest, butinstead of feeling calm, you feel
anxious on edge or guilty, likeyou should get up and do something.
So if rest feels uncomfortable,you're just not used to what it

(00:23):
feels like to be still with yourself.

CH Podcast Intro Video 4k (00:27):
Welcome to the Core Happiness Podcast.
I'm your host, Casey Banks, a mindsetand positive psychology coach.
On this podcast, we discuss allthings related to creating happiness
from within, so let's do it.
Welcome back to the show.
So let's explore why slowing down feels sohard sometimes, and how to start rewiring

(00:48):
our nervous system so that peace stopsfeeling so unfamiliar and starts feeling
like home, like our base as it should.
And I wanna start with this deep truth.
Rest isn't about our bodies.
It's about our nervous systems.
And if our nervous systems do not feelsafe, stillness won't feel relaxing.
Instead, it will feel uncomfortable.

(01:10):
It will feel threatening, maybe.
And that's because our brains havelearned through experience that
if we're moving, we're valuable.
If we're productive, we're safe.
If we stop, we're lazy.
Right?
And for many people.
The moment we slow down is whenemotion surface, guilt kicks in.

(01:33):
Um, our thoughts start racingbecause we've been trained to believe
that our worth lies in our doing.
We have to do, we have to provenot just who we are, right?
But the truth is that worthlies in our being and stillness
is where healing begins.
And.

(01:54):
The beautiful part is our body canalways relearn how to feel safe, resting
without the guilt, without the panic.
So if stillness and rest are hard foryou, there are three core reasons as
to why and what we can do about it.
So number one is that your nervous systemis wired for motion and not recovery.

(02:18):
This is more of a societal thing, right?
If you think about it, if you've beenin go, go, go mode for years, working,
caregiving, providing, and you're checkingall the boxes, your nervous system
has adapted to prioritize alertness,overcome, and neuroscience is known as
chronic sympathetic dominance, whichis the fight or flight branch of your

(02:38):
nervous system that stays on all the time.
It's always on, always triggering.
So when you stop moving.
Your system doesn't immediatelysay ugh, and drop into peace.
It says, whoa, wait a minute.
What's wrong?
What are we doing?
Are we okay?
Is everything okay?
So if this is you, then before youask your body to rest, just give

(03:03):
it a signal that it's safe, right?
That could be something is breathing.
We talk about breathing a lot.
A slow inhale for four, exhale for six.
It could be just placing your feet.
On the floor to feel grounded.
Um, for some people holding acup of tea or coffee, that took a
warm mug, and feeling the warmthin your hand can be grounding.

(03:25):
Just anything that is a simple cuethat activate your parasympathetic
nervous system to rest and restore.
'cause com doesn't just come from.
Nothing like I think we think that,oh, if I just do nothing, I'll be calm.
It doesn't work that way,unfortunately, but we have to teach
our system that we're safe now.

(03:47):
Then our bodies will actuallyallow us to feel calm.
Another core reason that rest couldbe hard is that we just were taught we
had to earn it versus just receive it.
And let's be honest, mostof us don't rest, right?

(04:07):
We collapse, right?
We go and go and go and go andgo and go until we break down.
And then maybe we'll giveourselves permission to pause.
And even then the guilt Crips in, right?
We're like, oh gosh, I shouldn'thave taken that vacation from work.
Now I have more work to do.
Or I shouldn't have put my phone onsilent because I missed all these phone
calls and now I feel bad about it.

(04:29):
But what if.
We didn't have to justify it becauseright now I feel like we have been taught
that rest has to be justified, right?
We think if I haven't finishedeverything, I don't deserve to rest.
If I'm resting, I'm lazy.
Other people don't getbreaks, why do I get a break?

(04:50):
Right?
That's how we think, but.
That is so detrimental andresearch even backs this up.
Like research shows us that humansdon't function best on constant output.
We just don't in fact, studieson cognitive load and decision
fatigue show that even the smallestrest breaks can improve focus,

(05:12):
clarity, emotional regulation.
So if this is you and you have thismindset of rest having to be earned,
then it's important to reframe it, andit could just be, start with something
as small as like acknowledging thatpreventing rest now means crashing

(05:34):
later, Reframe it, turn it on its head.
You're not less valuablewhen you're not producing.
Let your worth exist in who youare and being still, and the
restoration that comes from it, right?
Understand that rest isn'tsomething you have to earn.
It's part of how you staywell and how you stay healthy.

(05:56):
And then the third core reason that restcould be hard is that stillness brings
up emotions that we often try to avoid.
And this is a deeper one thatmost people don't talk about.
When we finally slow down, oldemotions can bubble up, right?
We can feel grief, sadness,resentment, loneliness.

(06:19):
Maybe it's even joy that we justhaven't allowed ourselves to feel,
and that discomfort that we feel isour nervous system finally saying,
okay, am I trusting you enoughbut to feel this, to process this?
So the solution isn'tto avoid rest, right?
It's to build the capacity for stillness.

(06:41):
What does that mean?
How do we do that?
It's literally threeminutes, no distractions.
Just let your feelings arise, whateverthey may be, acknowledge them,
feel them, and then just repeat toyourself, I can feel this and I'm okay.
I'm okay.
That's how emotional regulation is built.

(07:01):
It's not through suppressing emotion.
It's increasing your tolerance ofholding to it, to processing it, and
then over time our body starts tolearn that stillness is in danger.
It's.
Restorative, it's restoration.
So the main takeaway from today's episodeis to rewire how you think about rest.

(07:25):
So it no longer feels lazy or, oreven something you have to earn.
Right?
Rest is not a reward for exhaustion.
It should be your baseline.
Rest also is not aluxury, it's a necessity.
It's your body's way of regaining balance.

(07:45):
It is where clarity comes,it's where creativity is born.
So if you've spent years or decadesdoing more, being more, giving
more, proving more, what if.
Your life didn't depend on how much youcould hold or how much you could do.
What if life depended onhow well you recovered?

(08:10):
How well you restored, Because ifyou are allowing yourself the ability
to restore, the ability to have theclarity, the ability to have the
creativity, that's what matters.
So the real shift becomes that restisn't what you do when everything's done.
It's what allows you to faceyour life with clarity, energy,

(08:32):
emotional presence, and your body'snot asking you to rest forever.
It's just asking you to build a lifewhere rest is part of the rhythm
instead of the emergency break.
So.
I'm gonna leave you with thisexercise that I hope you try it.
Just block five minutesof your day, five minutes.

(08:52):
You can set a timer, use your phone,and then sit, stand, or lie, doesn't
matter, but just be no phone, no music,no multitasking, no distractions.
Let whatever feelings come, come and justsimply notice them and just name them.
I feel anxious.
I feel fidgety.

(09:12):
I feel bored.
I feel.
Like, I wanna move, whatever itis, name it, and then breathe.
Right.
Inhale for four.
Exhale for six.
Always exhale longer than you.
Inhale and then repeateither silently or out loud.
I am safe.
I'm allowed to pause.

(09:33):
I am safe.
I am allowed to pause andrepeat it as often as you need.
Your nervous system will.
Thank you.
If this message hit you somewheredeep, then the next step is for you.
It is a five day core clarity recentworkshop, and it's a guided experience
to get you out of survival mode.

(09:54):
Stop feeling guilty for slowing down,how to rebuild your rhythm based on
your values and not your obligations.
Feel clear, grounded, and back intouch with you and your core self.
In it, you'll receive daily self-regulatedpractices, guided mindset shifts, rooted
in science and soul journaling prompts tohelp you reclaim peace as your home base.

(10:18):
And this isn't about doing more.
This is about doing what matters from aplace that honors your nervous system,
your truth, your time, the real you.
And right now, it'savailable for a limited time.
So if your body's begging forpeace, this is your invitation.
Click the link below and join us.

(10:39):
And lastly, subscribe, like,comment, I want to see you more.
I want you to show up here.
This is your space.
This is your return to yourself,your clarity, and your calm.
I thank you for joining me today.
If you enjoyed this podcast, pleasefeel free to rate it or leave a review.
If you have any thoughts or questions,I would love to hear from you.

(11:01):
You can email podcast core happiness.com.
For show notes and additional resources.
You can visit www.corehappiness.com.
as always, please remember, neverlet anyone diminish your light.
Until next time, sending you my love.