November 18, 2024 • 50 mins
Hello & Welcome!
Cheers to another episode of Cornbread & Beans!
It's your favorite Food & Comedy Podcast. Come join the hosts, Darius Kennedy, a Windy City native and comedian, and Rio Riojas a comedian/actor and Michigander! Together they have created a great new and fun podcast. If you are a foodie and/or if you like comedy, well then this is just what you need to check out!
This episode was a riot from the second the mics were hot. We have the incomparable guest Austin Riojas, our co-host's Rio's little brother. If it's one thing we have, it's stories and we got to hear just a few of Austins. The ultimate dude's dude with an unwavering spirit of adventure. We loved catching up with him and getting him on the show. You are going to love this episode. We would like to thank all of our Entree 3000's for believing and supporting the show.
So sit back, crank up the volume and enjoy another episode of Cornbread & Beans.
We are looking for businesses who would like to advertise with us! You can reach out to the podcast email for a great opportunity in marketing for great rates!
Email us: cornbreadbeanspodcast@gmail.com
Twitter: @CornbreadxBeans
Find Darius at
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Instagram: hahadariuskennedy
Twitter: hahadariusk
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@drdecide on all social media
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah .
Speaker 2 (00:08):
It's cornbread and beans.
Yeah, I'm busting out the flow.
Please, please, we leave.
We got another episode.
Every single time we'rebringing it slow.
Then we pack it up, bring it upand bring it to you.
Oh, no, what you gonna do,you're gonna download this
episode for you and your crew,play it, laugh it, love it, no
matter what, just make sure youtell the public.
(00:29):
Yeah, austin over here about toget it right quick.
Oh, oh.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Hit that shit.
Yeah, here we cornbread andbeans.
Yeah yeah, Brother, Ed.
Darius chillin' oh yeah, dudeBrother and Darius chilling, oh
yeah, Sipping some beer, fittingsome spits, Sipping some shit,
gonna have a fucking fit.
I hope you download thisepisode, Show it to you and your
little ass hoes you know thatgirl go download it.
(00:59):
Say please, please, please,please, let me show you what I'm
gonna do to you, Cause thisepisode so fucking cool.
Yeah, she laughing so hard shecame out her butthole and she
said I didn't know that waspossible, but I did it.
So, yeah, and I'm going to doit again, Because Darian said
(01:20):
pick it, pick it, pick it, pickit, pick it, pick it, pick it.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah, beatbox bitch it, pick it, pick it, pick it,
pick it.
Yeah, beat box bitch, get inyour face, not your sex box
bitch.
Yeah, I don't have sex, smallpenis.
What you do, I do, I mean this.
You don't rhyme on time.
Yeah, I like lemons, not limes.
Nope, when I rhyme, I'm on time, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
It's a rhyme.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
And that's how we wrap the motherfucking show.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Cornbread and beans.
Cornbread and beans.
Wicked, wicked, wicked, wickedyeah.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Beans, cornbread this is where it's at Motherfucker
Little doody butts.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Been doodling my pants since I was 10 Bitch.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
From Olympic Broyo Please try that cheeseburger.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Yeah, it's perfect, so good.
So they have one in Six Flagsout there in San Antonio, a
double bacon cheeseburger.
Yeah, oh fuck dude, so good andlike.
They're like you can tell likethey're the frozen patties yeah,
but they're like those frozenpatties that are like the
fucking seasoned ones andthey're like fat.
Yeah, fat out of it.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Let me mark this Cornbread and beans new episode.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Frozen hamburger patties.
Piss me the fuck off, do theyit I for?
For if it's me, if it's a, ifit's a family thing yeah, I
almost made frozen patties today, but here's the thing though
it's a quantity thing withfrozen patties you never go
frozen patties first, you gohomemade.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I got five kids.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yeah, I know, but that's what I'm saying, but
that's a different scenario,though you are under different
circumstances.
So you're getting good qualityfrozen patties, though You're
not just getting bricks, right.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, and then, we're Also when I was.
If it's just, though, you'renot just getting bricks right,
you will, yeah, and then we'llalso also like if it's just like
a quick day at the park.
You know what I'm saying?
Like it really don't matter.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
You know like we kind of just need to throw something
in their bellies earlier today,austin was uh telling us to put
an egg in the hamburger, youknow, as a binder.
Yeah, you had and I didn't, Ijust hand slapped those patties,
slapped them on the grill anduh, and they came out good you
know that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
I still got a little bit of heartburn yeah from the
barbecue yeah um I do my shit.
Yeah, it depends though.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Well, so austin's like yeah, I'll grab the boxes,
but if he is gonna make thepatties, you're gonna do it.
You Do it right.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Oh yeah, I mean, if you're going to Austin's, also a
chef.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
He didn't go through the awkward, didn't know how to
barbecue phase like I did.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
No, I did, I did.
I did yeah, no, no, likebarbecue, right.
So I had my kids when, when wewere 17, and we moved to San
Antonio and we're living in thisapartment by ourselves on the
south side of San Antonio withour twins and we live next to
this fucking dude named Marioand he was my neighbor, bro,
(04:34):
this fucking, he was anelectrician but he would like
bring pallets or no, which I'mlooking for we had another light
.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Oh, I can't find it, but uh, that's alright, I just
thought we had it Ready to turnon.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Yeah, I forgot about it.
I don't even know what to say.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
What's that?
So you live next door To thisgrill master.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Oh well, he was like this Really cool Mexican dude
man and uh, he would bring homePallets and shit and make
fucking picnic tables out ofthem and everything okay and,
like you know, he'd barbecue forus and shit, right.
So, like the first time he'sbarbecuing for us, we're sitting
there and he's got you know legquarters and he's like, hey,
when you grab the leg quarter,make sure you grab it, don't
grab it by the bone, because thechicken gonna fall off the bone
(05:16):
.
I said, man, shut the fuck, youknow what I'm saying.
Like shut the fuck up, man.
I've been eating barbecue mywhole fucking life.
Ain't nobody ever made nochicken fall off the fucking
bone.
So I grabbed it by the fuckingleg to go put it on my plate and
, sure as shit, the fuckingwhole chicken fall off the
fucking bone.
So at 17 years old, I gotblessed by the grace of God to
live next to this dude whoshowed me how to use a barrel
(05:38):
pit, showed me the way yeah, heshowed me the ways of the
barbecue.
And he was like hey, boy, I'mgonna take you here under my
wing now.
I'm from texas and, uh, you'regonna know how to cook some meat
let's go that's meats in myhands, baby.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
I love it yeah, by the way, um, welcome to a brand
new episode of corn bread andbeans.
Um, my name is rio riojas.
I'm a local actor, comedian,podcaster.
I do the show about food andcomedy with my best friend,
darius kennedy.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
That's that's me right here.
My name is darius kennedy.
I am a chicago born and bredcomedian.
I am a trained actor, but Idon't get work because I don't
try.
But uh, we do podcasts, yeah,man.
Yeah, we're not acting, though.
This is real life yeah, this isreal.
(06:27):
No, we're podcasters shout outpiv in theater.
Shout out chicago actor studio,uh, my training grounds.
And also, uh, shout out, uh,second city.
Yeah, ifa program.
I was in, um, but anyway, uh,today is a very special yeah,
yeah, we have a very specialguest.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
We have a very special guest.
Let me introduce you to mybrother, austin Riojas.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
What's up, man?
What's up?
My name's Austin motherfuckingRiojas.
We're happy man, aspiringcomedian.
I'm aspiring because I'm hopingthat my brother makes it, and
if he makes it, bam, I made itbitches.
I'm a funny motherfuckerbrother makes it, and if he
makes it, bam, I made it bitches.
Yeah, you know I'm a funnymotherfucker.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
All you got to do is just show up.
Yeah, just show up.
This is the easiest job.
Just show up all the time andthen eventually, like you'll get
it yeah you'll find something.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
You'll find something that's showing up.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I'm like, yeah, then you make more money Boom.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, I remember you from five years ago.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Glad you still at it, gotta be better.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, jokes on you motherfucker.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I've been planning this for seven years.
We got you for an hour.
All right, you're headlining.
Yeah, that's what I thought,bitch, I'm back.
Hell, yeah, yeah, but, yeah,yeah.
But we're all hanging out, mybrother's hanging out.
I was like dude, you got tojump on the podcast.
I introduced him to Darius atour show.
We did comedy at the Creek.
(07:51):
Shout out, jason Pierpoint.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Yeah, jason, love you bro.
That was so much fucking funSee.
Mark Bonto first time.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, shout out Mark Bonto.
I love that guy.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
The car alarm ended up going out in the parking lot.
He'll fucking get you.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah, we had a great time.
It was a lot of fun too.
I'm happy that you were there.
You've been hanging out with usand we've been eating good too.
We've had ceviche, we hadbarbecue.
We've made barbecue like threedifferent times since you've
been here.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Yeah, it's been nice.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
You've cooked and then I've cooked and then you
cooked, although, shout out,before the show at Comedy at the
Creek, austin threw down and Imade a reel of opening the grill
and it's been taking off.
It's been doing all right, it'sbeen doing all right.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Bro, feel free to come over.
I got a smoker.
Oh yeah, I throw it out anytimeGas grill and my favorite is my
charcoal that I've had eversince I was a teenager Nice.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Nice.
All right, let's take a break.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
The grill that I had, the Weber that I had ever since
I was a teenager, was handeddown to me from my dad.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Dang.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
And I learned how to first grill ribs.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
And then also grill fucking turkeys.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Oh, nice, nice Turkeys, whole turkeys.
Shout out Weber.
I see that you got the bigWeber in the back right now.
That big kettle I was justtelling Austin, I want a
full-size one.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Yeah.
If they'd like to sponsor acook-off, I'd definitely yeah,
weber.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
We know you're fucking listening the fuck, so I
miss a free grill.
We love you.
I grew up on your grills, youhear that he grew up on the
hand-me-down Weber grill thatfucking smoked like a champ.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
My dad gave me a Weber grill when I was in my
teenage years and I still haveit to this day.
Thank you, Weber.
What are we talking about?
What the fuck?
Are we talking about?
Black Weber grill?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I use Weber.
Two days in a row I've beendialing in my little portable
Weber tailgate.
And season's coming, you don'twant to bring a Weber grill out
to the tailgate and the nextthing you know you're burning
every fucking thing.
You're a little weird, yeah,the tailgate, and the next thing
you know you're burning everyfucking thing, or you can't get
weird.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yeah, everybody's gonna be mad.
Yeah, and they are not gonnawant to eat your shit?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
no, and then you were .
I'm already wearing michigangear, you know at michigan state
, so it's like around theseparts yeah, yeah, around these
negative woods.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
You know they don't like your kind around here so,
austin, what is your favoritething?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
to grill or to barbecue?
Oh man, given a choice man.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
I'm trying to smoke a brisket, bro.
Every time, ooh yeah, what do?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
you smoke your brisket in or on.
What is your preferred choiceof wood or coal?
Yeah briquettes, bricquettes.
Uh, what are you doing?
Pound size, so I can get like agood hour.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Uh, like, count on your dedication to your brisket.
Oh man, all right.
Well, I mean like, if we'regonna go all the way in, yeah,
put your paper marinate.
You know what I'm saying.
Like I like to do, like thecoke and jack marinade, you know
, put it inside wait like jack,like Jack Daniels.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah yeah, whoa Put a whiskey in it Nice.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Kind of let it sit and brine overnight.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Get all nice and tender up.
I'm a mesquite guy all the way.
Yeah, mesquite wood All the way.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Straight mesquite, you don't mix.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
No, no, charcoal briquettes no no, if you're
going to smoke it, you're goingto smoke it low and you're going
to smoke it long.
You know what I'm saying so youcook that motherfucker out at
200 for, you know, 12 to 16hours, depending on the size.
But I mean, I guess I don'treally weigh the size, but like
it's usually a $7 to $80 brisket, yeah yeah, so pretty big
(11:39):
brisket and do you have like atime, like per pound?
Nah time, like per pound, orjust like you, just you just
kind of feel it, yeah, man, wellyou know it's just cooking and
you kind of just you see thatbark coming, you know what I
mean.
And every once in a while youcut a piece off and see what you
kind of look like and yeah,taste her you know, because it's
beef, you know, so you can eatit whenever you know what I mean
.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
So yeah, but you just want to yeah yeah, but you wait
.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Once you get it right , it has that little smoke ring
all the way around.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Yeah, you get that pink surprise Like hey, surprise
, surprise that tannin bark onit, you know, tastes a little
like candy.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Come on.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Surprise, surprise, that's my favorite part of
barbecue and smoking.
I did three different types ofrubs on pork shoulder and my
tear smoker with mesquite andhickory uh wood nice yeah, we
(12:35):
got, we got some of that.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
You gave us some.
Yeah, dude, 10 hours fire.
Um, he gave us a bunch of rawpork show.
Oh, actually, no, I'll tell you.
Yeah, so you were smoking with,uh, mesquite and hickory yeah,
so I used that.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
It was.
It's a.
It is a.
A fucking permanent smoke.
Smell like yeah, after youfucking heat it up in a
microwave or you read like Ifroze some.
Yeah, I did like a jama.
Yeah, it was like a fuckingspicy.
All I needed was like supersweet barbecue sauce or super
(13:09):
sweet you know sauce to comparethat with, and it was just great
.
I did that.
I ate that shit on tacos todaywith some fucking yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
A fucking pico that I made from my garden and then
one fucking spring onion, or youknow one green onion that I got
from fucking La Estrella.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Let's go, let's go.
Yeah, he gave me a bunch ofpork shoulder that he didn't
smoke and we chunked it up andturned it into gardenitas.
But he gave us some of thepulled pork.
We put it on a loaded bakedpotato.
We put it on some other mealstoo.
But yeah, dude, you did a greatjob.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Dude, I love cooking Me too.
It's a beautiful thing whenpeople eat your food and you're
just sitting at that table andnobody's talking.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
If I'm in the mood to throw down.
I love to know if I, if I'm inthe mood to like throw down,
I'll.
I love to cook, but if I'm notin the mood, I'll throw down and
I'll still taste like I'llthrow down, you know so you're
cooking either way?
No, no, my, I'm not gonna lie.
My wife, she does a bang up job.
She's always planning out meals, she's always uh instagram
posts that I've seen about yourcooking.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Are they?
Uh, it's not even his shit.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
No, that's me, that's me.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
That's me.
You notice, I don't post everyday.
I don't post every day.
You're right If I posted everyday.
You're a teacher.
Yeah, if I posted every day,about eight out of ten of those
everyday posts would be Veronica.
But when I post my food andthen I was on like a three-day
(14:49):
cooking, cooking spree I'd cooklike three days in a row.
I'll get some new canola oiland I'll have to break that
bitch in.
You know I'm talking aboutbreak that canola, although,
dude, sad story.
Uh, I have a cast iron wafflemaker.
Haven't made waffles inprobably over a year and I just
could not get it down.
I couldn't get the temp right,I couldn't get the timing right.
(15:10):
It was everyone, it was quick,dude man.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
It was so hot and the batter is thin bro.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
It was tough it had a big crank.
It was a tough break because Ido a good job with waffles.
Those are one of my pride andjoy, like breakfast foods, Kelly
makes them.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
She has a little mini waffle maker she makes it.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yeah, she never cleans it up.
You know, it's like her staple,she's like made them.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
It just vlogs off Into the fucking abyss of the
liver, girl.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Yeah no, you got to clean while you cook, Otherwise
abyss of the liver girl.
Yeah no, you, you gotta, yougotta, you gotta clean while you
cook, otherwise your spouse isjust gonna get mad at you.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah, I mean, then you also have no surface area to
do shit that you need to do,bro yeah, yeah, yeah you know,
like when you need to chop someshit up, you gotta do dishes.
That's just lame.
Yeah, when you're on your likecooking fucking you know.
I mean you're fucking all rightmaster chef in it yeah, dude,
you're in your brain.
You're like I am the best chefand you know, I mean yeah nobody
(16:09):
can chef like this no, noeverything's under salted what
is the sea salt?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
no, it's no salt like matt damon and fucking uh uh.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
What is that I was going to say?
A beautiful minded shit.
Good Will Hunting.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Matt Damon and shit.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
You like apples.
What's the square root?
How you like them, apples Boom.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
My boy just schooled you.
My boy's smarter than you, dude, I have that fucking movie on
VHS, bro.
I recorded that over some movieI stole from Blockbuster.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Let's go, let's go.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
I was a big fan of that movie.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
I was thinking about Blockbuster Shout out to one of
my co-workers, ben Affleck.
I met him, bummed a cigaretteoff of him.
He's all right.
He's all right.
He's a really cool dude,although, I'll tell you this,
his, uh, his handshake a littleweak.
Yeah, ben affleck that's becausehe got a weak handshake that's
because he was going throughthat divorce and he just had
(17:20):
nothing yeah, he was trying toplay bruce wayne and like give
some random mexican on set whokept calling him ben affleck ben
affleck, ben affleck, he's likedude, I'm trying to be bruce
wayne.
Ben affleck, I fucking love you,man, fucking love you.
Ben affleck, you ever been on?
Tell him, steve dave, how comeyou haven't done kevin smith's
(17:42):
podcast?
Know, just ask.
Yeah, he was cool, he was cool.
He's like get away from thecrafty, take it easy, take it
easy.
You know, I have a one linerole.
We're the same, me and you.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
We're the same big time in us over here.
Commercials fucking you knowmovie you know fucking.
Commercials, fucking this guy.
Another commercial.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
She was amazing though.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, wearing Chiefs gear.
Weird yeah, it was weird.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I had to sign an NDA but they had me in the
Louisville Cardinals, so I waslike you know, go, what's his
name?
The quarterback Lamar Jackson.
Go, Lamar Jackson, you know,he's the only Louisville
Cardinal I could think of out ofthe top of my head.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Rio's just crying.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
He's like slow-mo, he's like there you go yeah, the
director's like Rio, hey,you're happy, you're in a good
hotel room and you're doing alot of good research, all right,
so you're happy, yeah.
And every time it's like theyeah, I just kept crying.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
That's what they didn't really understand, you
know they cast him for this roleand they were like you know
it's such a minor role, you knowAnybody can do it, it's easy.
But like yo, you were literallyasking this man To betray
everything.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Not only his state, no, no, no.
But like his, colleges, His.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
He's not even rooting for his quarterback, you know.
And to do it with anenthusiastic face, Like
commercial I know he's signed toNDA, but when it comes out
commercial for real, like lookat your boy, it's going to get a
lot of play, you hurt him.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah, a lot of airplay in the South.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Yeah, man, that's a lot of my games you're playing,
man, you know what I'm saying.
So, like shout out to the manit's all right though he's, why
would you do him like that?
Give him more work.
He has children.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
And bills to pay.
You made him suck a dick.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
He was a whore for you.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
This guy was sucking.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
This guy was jiggling balls.
I sucked dick from the back.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
He was over there sucking dicks and finger popping
assholes, fucking all day, noteven for his own people.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
He's a good guy.
Look at what you made him do.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
You guys turned me into a dirty slut.
Why?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
It wasn't even a union gig.
You get down for the union, butfor Randall's.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Randall's.
That's why they only gothandies.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
They told me it was union.
They lied to you.
Yeah, union, this dick.
I was like dang.
I was like I am in this dick,dang it.
They're all together, all right, all right, all right.
Enough about getting fucked bythe industry All right, I don't
like.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
It Makes me feel bad.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Where the fuck are we ?
Catch up, weekly catch up, butnever on a hot dog, never on a
hot dog.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Look at me.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
I put ketchup on a hot dog.
Yeah, Wait what.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
What do you mean?
If I'm going to gobble a glizzy, that motherfucker going to
have it.
No, listen, we are a couple ofglizzy goblins, all right.
What is happening?
We're some glizzy goblinanimals, but ketchup for when we
(20:49):
get there.
Austin's jumping the gun alittle bit right now.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
He can have the floor when that.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Lo siento my brother.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
We just want to know.
What have you been doing?
Yeah, why are you puttingketchup on hot dogs when you're
traveling all over the country?
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Well, this past week we've been pretty mellow.
We've been in Michigan hangingout with Rio.
Yeah, mellow and out.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
The week before was and I loved it Been so happy.
Oh my gosh, my brother's hereGet to look at him with my
eyeballs.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Dude it's been fun.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Dude, I've heard I can brothers I'm here, yeah,
yeah, and I just for real, justfuck yeah that's fucking right,
dude.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
I'm sorry about that audience at least once.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Episode one of us will drop our mic.
All right, we do, we'reprofessionals, all right we're
sorry about it.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
We're sorry about it um, but the week before our well
, actually the two weeks before,whether, yeah, the past month
we purchased a bus.
Um, before that I was on thepct.
I was hiking the Pacific CrestTrail.
I did the desert section.
I hiked for about 40 days andaround 600 miles.
It was a fun time.
I actually got hella flighted.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
I'm not gay, but I just want to suck your dick.
It's pretty small, it's easy.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
How many miles did you do?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
I can't even bring two laundry baskets up, two
flights of stairs.
This motherfucker's in thedesert walking around, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Funny story, man, right, like my first day, right?
I go out there and I think likeI'm like, yeah, you know I'm
going to be hiking, it's goingto be beautiful, I'm going to
take my laptop and I'm going tofinish my novel you know what
I'm saying and write all thetime.
So I take my fucking laptop, Itake my iPad.
I have charges for all thatshit.
I have like 15 extra pounds,right?
So my fucking, my pack is like80 pounds.
Mind you, like most people'spacks are like 40, 50, 50 loaded
(22:41):
, Fuck Right, and I'm likehiking all this shit and
wondering why I'm dying dude.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
You're not even in the army and you're doing all
this.
This guy's like fuck the RB,David Goggins, whatever.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I got some epic pictures, epic mushrooms.
There was one point where thewind was blowing 70 miles an
hour and I was going through theHatchipi and there's a wind
farm and you're up 7,000 feetand there's a cliff face and the
wind was blowing so hard.
I just took my pack off andflew with the Eagles and shit.
(23:14):
I just kind of like laid,leaned over the edge, like I'm
like kind of like a, like a 45over and that's crazy.
The wind carried me and shit,and it was just fucking badass
dude, like just a lot ofbeautiful things and then, yeah,
that's crazy yeah, then we wentbought a bus because, like I,
had two heart attacks umprior.
So like life, you know.
So we bought a bus and we'rerenovating it to a tiny home and
(23:36):
kind of just touring the US.
We went to Oklahoma, did somecliff jumping in Oklahoma,
stopped out there in Missouri,we did the Lake of the Ozarks in
Missouri.
That was pretty cool.
We did Six Flags in Chicago andstayed in Kenosha for a night
and then booked it to the UP,chilled in the UP for a little
bit, came down, did NorthernMichigan and now we're just kind
(23:57):
of here.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
I feel like we should keep a segment on the podcast
called Austin's Weekly Ketchupwhat's going on with Austin when
he at what's going?
Speaker 3 (24:09):
on.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
He's still putting ketchup on glizzies.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
I'm still putting ketchup on glizzies.
I still put ketchup on glizzies, man, I mean, you can do that,
if you do that.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
I mean, you really cemented your place in life so
you can put whatever you want onyour glizzy yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
I had a bear encounter, I had an online
encounter out there.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
All right, oh yeah, you guys didn't swap bear
encounters.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
I got hella flighted yeah.
So I yeah like got sick on thetrail.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
And got super dehydrated.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
I had like a liter and a half of water left when I
got hella flighted out but mybody wouldn't ingest any water
and I was just like duking outthe back door and fucking
sweating it out.
It was already almost 100degrees, dookie breezing.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I had like fucking a gut Explosive diarrhea.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
I think my water got contaminated, and then I drank
it.
With just straight runs.
I tried booking it off themountain and I called 911.
And I was like, hey, I got twoand a half miles to get to this
dirt road and I'm going to getthere.
But when I get there two and ahalf miles to get to this dirt
road and I'm going to get there,but when I get there, like I'm
going to need to get off thisfucking mountain or I'm going to
fucking die and they were likeall right, and I lost reception
(25:18):
and like coming around the bed,literally I was on the phone
with the sheriff and I comearound the bed and you just hear
this fucking, and like there'sa fucking mom, like fucking
coming up this way, cubby, stuckin the bramble, like fucking
sniping at me, and I was likefucking I fell and I was like
fuck you motherfuckers, you knowwhat I'm saying.
I was like you gotta get bigand shit, yeah, and I'm loud and
(25:41):
shit.
And like the cubby scampered upand the mama went down and shit
, and I fucking booked itforward and god, I went two and
a half miles like 17 and a halfminutes, bro.
Like fucking booked it off thatmountain and then just sat there
and waited for the helicopterand it came and picked me up.
They did uh, three, three bags,almost three bags of iv and I
pissed fucking t so like I wasoh, I've been there before.
Yeah, like yeah super you aredone, so yeah that's crazy like
(26:04):
yeah, it was.
It was nothing, but it was uh.
I called my brother immediatelylike after I got out the
hospital.
I was like, hey, bro, yeah.
You just had a helicopterflight, man Sue.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
No, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
I was like, and he was like, dude, now go back on
the trail.
And I was like, yeah, I think Imight just go back up to the
pass and just stay at the passand stuff.
He's like no, bro, just go home.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
I think I'm tough when I bring two garbage cans
out at the same time.
This motherfucker is fightingoff hordes of bears on a
mountain, while being dehydratedand nowhere to be found or
friends or help in sight.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
So glad that you're all right, though, bro, so glad
that you made it and you're hereLike it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Anything I've ever done, ain't shit, I ain't shit.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Nah, man, you know everybody.
Oh no, all right, all right,all right, all right, all right,
shit, all and shit.
Oh man, there you go.
Oh no, all right, all right,all right, All right, all right,
all right.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
All right though, man .
Yeah, so we've been cooking,we've been hanging, we went and
played golf the other day, yeah,we went and played golf
yesterday.
We're probably going to go outand play again next week, of
course.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Honestly here.
Yeah, uh, I can't really say itenough.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I mean, it's just good, my brother has been
amazing.
And then meeting derrick, yeahyeah.
Then youtube just hitting itoff too.
That shit was so sick.
That's just pretty destined um,but no dude, like it's just
like when I meet all yourfriends and they automatically,
like when deon came here, likeyou were, like dude I was like
oh, I'm relieved he's finallyhere now, like just have fun.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah, you know I mean like, but like same shit, bro.
Um, I think we come from thesame meaning with just enjoying
life, enjoying people yeah whichis, uh, the camaraderie that we
share, which is awesome dude,it's so sick man fucking some.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
It's some body coat.
Yeah, uh, but let's get intothe fucking Munch Madness.
We've been chatting, we've beentalking, but it's time, it's
time.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
We haven't looked at it yet.
I've been following this sinceday one, you guys.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
It's your turn.
It's your turn, and I havecalled Rio every fucking time.
You guys have made a verycontroversy one, and my biggest
one is Maxwell's.
Before we even flipped thatover, we had to pull it.
Nobody knew it.
I want to let you guys know itwas a dud man.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
They didn't get the respect because, nobody knew it.
You can't watch it fail overand over, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
And it took a lot too before we did.
We didn't want to change it.
Yeah, because he's from Chicagoand I love fucking Maxwell's
you know.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Well, it's a steeple.
I guess more than anything it'snostalgic to go get those
fucking soggy fries and orangesoda and greasy dog Dude.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
It's just like so many times I've been in the city
with people from where I grewup at, or I get relatives that
come up from fucking Atlanta andshit Like my cousin Leslie
freaks out over fucking Maxwell.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Hey, let's go get some Polish's and shit.
Yeah, dude.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
And it's just you know.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
You got to go to the right one, or else you might get
shot or fucking robbed.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Well, the one on Independence is pretty safe.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Yeah, it depends man.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
What time?
Before 10 pm.
Yes, well, let's flip this badboy.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Let's flip this bad boy.
So the way we do it is we goover your final four.
This is the north, this is theeast, south and west.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
And we're going to talk about who you have
representing each division andhow you got to that point.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
Yeah, yeah, I love how you guys just piled the
fucking hood fucking fast foodsin one coast Like Rally's,
carl's Jr, white Castle andPopeye's, you know like you
don't find Rally's or WhiteCastle anywhere other than well,
(29:58):
white Castle definitely notoutside the hood and Rally's not
outside some country bumpkinsor some fucking Mexican
motherfuckers working the fields.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
There's a White Castle in Brighton.
Yep White as fuck Prove ask askask uh, robert uh, where's
brighton?
Speaker 3 (30:21):
at where's brighton?
At um by detroit yeah yeahmetro detroit right, right,
right, right uh but it is white.
It's pretty white, right I'mtrying to think of it bright but
I haven't been there.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
We got to go, all right.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
All right, All right.
So right out the gate, you'reonly the second person ever to
have Chick-fil-A win in theNorth.
Well, yeah, man.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Like Arby's garbage, mcdonald's fuck the garbage.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
You got Taco Bell being a first to exit.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Well, all right, taco bell's only good when you're
drunk and you don't have to chewold reliable so it has a spot
it does have a spot, but notagainst like, like literally.
I'll take chick-fil-a, sober ordrunk.
I'll take taco bell when I'mdrunken, or stupor stone and
don't want to chew you don'thave a hankering for, uh,
chicken quesadilla, though.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
No, I don't like their case or crunch wrap
supreme.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
I don't like the contract.
What I did like is their doubledeckers and they took it off
the menus.
But you can make it.
Yeah, you do make it, but thennow people don't even know what
you're talking about.
You can explain it and it likekills a buzz, you know so so you
got taco bell going out quick.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Chick-fil-a's going over arby's yeah, arby's over
mcdonald's.
Is that tough for you to choose, or no, not?
Speaker 3 (31:31):
at all?
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Were any of these actually tough, or were they
snap decisions Snap?
Speaker 1 (31:34):
decisions.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
What's your?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
favorite thing at Arby's.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
My favorite thing at Arby's is just their double melt
with cheese and horsey sauce.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
It's you know.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
I'm a beef and cheddar guy.
Fucking Kaiser roll fuckinghorsey sauce and fucking Arby's
sauce.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Don't get me wrong.
I mean it horsey sauce andfucking Arby's sauce.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Don't get me wrong.
It's good.
It's a certain flavor to it.
Arby's is great, just forsandwiches, their sides.
They try too hard, bro, thefucking jalapeno cheddar bites
or whatever, with their fuckingsweet and sour, whatever sauce
is stupid as shit.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
It's never.
It's just always a hollow shell, because they always deep fry
them too long yeah exactly, youknow, and also, you got to
remember, I'm coming out ofHouston, so like we had so many
good food options, you know,yeah, of course, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Spoiled.
Yeah, Just like me.
I'm from Chicago, yeah, likeyou know like, yeah Now.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Now in the east East you got Portillo's winning it up
.
That's not tough.
Long John Silver Was who it hadto beat out to represent.
We've recently discovered Whitepeople don't trust Long John
Silver Did you know that?
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Did you know that?
I did not know that I'll pass.
They don't like the hushpuppies.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Even like the trash, we've had white trash, we've had
like well educated and didn'tmatter.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
The entire spectrum.
White folks are like don't youdare go to fuck you.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
Have y'all had Fat Steve on the show yet I would be
excited to see him.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Oh, you know what we haven't?
Speaker 3 (33:07):
He's probably, he's probably fucking fought somebody
for a gift certificate for somehush puppies and lemon wedges,
I'll fuck you up very nice aboutit, though I'll get you nice
guys are always the one yougotta watch out for man punches
(33:28):
you in the nuts.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
He's just like, yeah, I'll have, I'll have as long as
you hear as you come to, I'llhave, I can breathe.
I got beat up by a dude in theparking lot of fucking.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Excuse me.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, I hate that place man.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
I've been waiting for that fucking burp to come up.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
I almost want to beat you on your back, like you,
little toddler.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Is that milk too hot, baby boy?
Funny thing is there is a videoof Pat Steve Like throwing
somebody on the ground Out inthe parking lot of an open mic
in Detroit Dude.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
I never got physical, other than one time At an open
mic in chicago, and it was atmutiny, and mutiny was a punk
based club like club and then weturned it into an open mic spot
.
My buddies used to run it andeverybody would leave from power
hour yeah and then they wouldwalk over to mutiny and
(34:32):
everybody be be fucking hammereddude.
And this one dude saidsomething to me and I punched
him in the stomach.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
One stage.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
And I felt bad about it.
I was like and then he was likeyou know what I mean?
I was like that's not good.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
That's not good, I didn't even aim for the face.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
He did something fucked up to me or said
something fucked up to me.
That's why I punched him likeinstinctively.
I was like dude, I don'tdisrespect you like that, you
just right in the gut.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
I wish I was there.
I would have followed up With apunch to the face.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
I don't want to be around people If somebody
bothers me and y'all around,let's just do the next one.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
So, speaking of making somebody poop in the
stomach, right, my first big.
So you remember the Tough manshit, right, the Tough man
contest back in Bay City.
It kind of went big, but it waslike black and yellow and
people from the fight or peoplefrom the crowd could come in
together and fight the Tough manof the contest I don't know
(35:35):
nothing yeah, our door ran yeahour door.
So I went to one when I was likea toddler man, maybe like like
10 or 11 years old, and my dad'snot toddler?
Well yeah, but like I was yeah,you know what I'm saying you
know, like you's a big boy Imade big boy poopies, but you
know I'm 10, I'm a big boy so mydad rolls me out my stroller
(35:56):
right, so like we're at thisfight right, and like this dude
comes up and like he's like Iasked the crowd who's gonna fuck
?
you know, fight me, blah, blah,blah.
This big motherfucker's likecome on, kick your ass right.
I'm like big fat motherfucker.
Gets in the ring, he's sittingthere and he puts on the boxing
(36:18):
gloves and comes out there andthat dude comes down and just
hits him right in the gut andyou just hear.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
He poopied himself.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
So funny story.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
His white shorts turned brown.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
He hit the brown note .
Speaker 2 (36:39):
It was hilarious.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Coffee tits, I shit myself, so he didn't feel alone.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Shitting yourself is cool.
Rub shit butts.
Have a shit contest.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Alright, we're going to move on to the south, alright
.
Alright, no, you're good.
That was a good story.
All right, we're going to moveon to the South, all right.
All right, sorry, no, you'regood, that was a good story.
You got Wendy's.
You got Wendy's winning theSouth division.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
I hate you.
Right now.
He goes sorry After going indepth about poop and butts.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, no, it's all right.
And then he says, sorry, henames it poop in butts.
No, it's alright.
And then he says, sorry, henames it Fucking liars.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
No, it was a good story.
I liked it.
It was a lot of poop.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
It's cool talking about poop, bro.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
We don't shy away from poop contact.
Don't worry, we're alright.
Moving on to the next segment.
I apologize.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Taking up so much time.
No, no, no, You're not bro,You're fucking perfect.
You're perfect.
It's the perfect fuckingepisode.
Alright.
We just want to know why do youhave Subway and Wendy's and why
do you have Wendy's beatingSubway to be the champ?
You're not down with a $12footlong anymore.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
No, I don't like a $12.
Well, I do like a $12 footlongChicken Bacon Ranch.
I don't like the $12.
Well, I do like the $12footlong Chicken bacon ranch.
I'll pay that.
You'll pay $12 for a chickenbacon ranch.
Yeah, bro, all day Over afucking Little Caesars.
Yeah, dude, little Caesars.
Turn into cardboard, alright.
So if you're going to ask me topay $7 for cardboard and hard,
burn, but it's a fast food pizza.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
It's the only fast food pizza, dude, if you're
gonna.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Cardboard and hard bread.
Like cardboard and hard bread.
He's so right, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna pay the $12,.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
You know I survived off of Little Caesar's Pizza
when I was a bachelor.
Like every move, bro.
It changed dude, and then, likeit would stay in your gut for
like three days, bro, Like justsit there.
Yeah, bro, I don't know if theychanged the recipe, but back
then, dude, yeah, I would havevoted for what Austin voted for
(38:40):
too.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Okay, so you got Wendy's taking the South over
Subway.
Even though Wendy's tried tokill me.
Yeah, Wendy's tried to killDarius.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
Well, you know, I'll fuck Wendy's and just put Subway
up there.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
No, Finally in the West you got White Castle taking
over Rally's.
That's surprising for me,because me and you, we have
Rally's pretty near and dear toour heart.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Yeah, when I found out Rally's was also called
Checkers, I said they ain'tconsistent, you know, and it
broke my heart.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Damn White Castle, is White Castle everywhere.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Austin, please, I'm begging you.
What's up, big dog, I grew upoff of Checkers.
Yeah, and I understand thebrand merge.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
And then I moved here and guess what's down the
street Rally.
I still go there.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
Well, let me ask you a question Does Checkers got
Kool-Aid?
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Yeah, I've never had Kool-Aid At either one of them.
I've never tried Rally's got.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Kool-Aid at either one of them.
I've never tried it Really.
They've had Kool-Aid untilCheckers came.
Checkers got Kool-Aid too.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
They have to.
Speaker 3 (39:50):
Houston has Checkers and we went to Checkers and I
wanted to get me a big fatBradley Burger and the fries
with a great Kool-Aid and Icouldn't.
Well, they probably didn't havegrape, no, they didn't have
Kool-Aid period.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Does your Houston checkers have?
Dang, I was upset highly Doesyour Houston checkers have?
What the Dude?
You just tossed me Sweet tea.
Speaker 3 (40:13):
Yeah, everybody's got sweet tea.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
In the South?
Right yeah, but they don't havethat up here.
Dude, we can't get sweet tea atrallies?
Well, no, but they don't havethat up here dude, we can't get
sweet tea at rallies?
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Well no, but you can get like Kool-Aid at rallies.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Try it.
We'll go tomorrow and see youcan't get Kool-Aid at rallies
anymore.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
It's a sound thing, bro.
See, now you can't, becauseCheckers bought them.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
That's what happened.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Dang I'm charged.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Okay, I'm charged about this.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
We've got to invest.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
So for the longest time you can pull up at this
Rally's right here in LansingBefore they did the bag of fries
, you get a big old fries and alarge grape Kool-Aid.
I used to walk down thatSaginaw all the time and I'd get
it all the time Really Sitoutside and I'd just get
Kool-Aid out.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
All right.
Well, let's get to thechampionship.
In the championship round, yougot White Castle versus
Portillo's, and for the winner,who do you?
Speaker 3 (41:07):
got White Castle.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Man.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
White Castle.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Over Portillo's.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
And just recently Hold up we go why?
Well, just recently, like, Ifed all my five of my kids and
myself after a full day oftyphoon typhoon, you know, the
whole water park and Six Flagsand all kinds of shit for $70.
And we ate fat with leftovers.
(41:35):
Yeah, and it was fresh.
Did you get two Crave cases?
No, we got they running aspecial with 10 cheese sliders
for $8.
So we got 40 sliders and 36chicken rings.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Dang.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
And a bag, a bunch of fries.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Bro.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
We had like a feast.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
You gotta go Crave Case bro.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
It's cheaper.
Well, no, right now that deal'scheaper.
The Crave Cases was like $30for like $32.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
And they're $10 for $8.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
Just a dollar.
Well, no, three times eight is$24.
So like $8 difference.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was like no, that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
It matters when you got 78 kids.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
We making them bucks Dude what a great bracket,
though.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
What a great bracket.
I get it.
Yeah, great reasoning.
Yeah, great reasoning.
Everything that you chose.
Even if you said it was a snapdecision, you had a reason
behind it and, honestly, that'swhat we want.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
We want to hear what your favorite is and then tell
you why it should have beenPortillo's.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Portillo's is such a niche though, if you're not
within like Metro Chicago.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
That's you and your wife.
That is like Kids.
Fast food to kids is fast food.
It don't matter if it's afucking dude in a red and yellow
suit or if it's a dude with aburger hat, it's fast food.
They're excited about it, don'tmatter.
The quality of fast food onlydwindles down when you fucking
(43:18):
become an adult.
And then you're looking for thefact that.
I'm spending money on this shit.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
And I want to enjoy it, but you all need to enjoy it
and save money at the same.
It needs to be economical andtasty at the same time.
Yeah, I understand the whitecat.
I fucks with it.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
Yeah, yeah, we all like the Portillo my wife loves
fucking White Castle.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
I fucks with it.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
My wife loves fucking White Castle.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
If I'm going to wait 10 to 15 minutes for a meal, I'd
rather go in and wait the 20 to30.
Or sit down.
So at that point it's no longerfashion.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
I'll wait 35 minutes in the McDonald's drive-thru for
one McChicken.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
But I get it, I get it bro.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Yeah, I get it.
I get it Shout out to my wifefor being patient with me.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah, to be able to provide I mean, I know this
sounds so funny or goofy, but beable to provide your kids and
your family with White Castlelike at your leisure, yeah, and
you all have a big family.
It's pretty fucking dope manLike nobody can be like.
Yeah, I fucking ate 80 fuckingburgers and now I still got some
(44:31):
left over.
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Who else?
You know what I'm saying.
Yeah, I feel like Oprah when Icome in there.
You know what I'm saying.
You get a burger, you get aburger, you get a burger, you
get a burger, you get a burger.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
You want a chicken wings, you get a burger.
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Let's go.
We never had the choice as kids.
We never had the choice.
We got to eat whatever the fuckwas given to us yeah, yeah.
And, dude, my mom despised.
I was telling my fiance thisshit because I don't understand
being a parent, right, I don'tunderstand being a parent in
this.
Uh uh.
This aspect is snacks, dude.
(45:07):
I grew up in a household wheremy mom grocery shopped and then
we had dinner and then, if youwere hungry, you made yourself a
sandwich.
Maybe you ate a couple of chipsto tie you over.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Until when your mom was done with making dinner.
Yeah, and like the wholefucking snack thing I do, we, we
did not have snacks.
Yeah, me and my brother werefucking star for four hours If
my mom was making meatloaf.
Yeah, and smell it and hate it.
It's good for you.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
And then you clean your plate afterwards, bro, your
plate is clean.
Yeah, but like yeah, man, so Iwent on a tangent a little bit.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
No, it's fucking beautiful.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
It makes sense when you have a family your family is
a lot larger than most but thefact that you can be like yo
we're gonna eat White Castle,we're gonna enjoy it.
We're gonna eat a lot of thisshit, you're gonna get tired of
it and we're gonna have some forprobably late night tonight.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Dude, my family is like so big.
Whenever we go out to eat likewe just like, as long as we're
out under 100, that's a nice daylike and like that's lunch, or
do you know?
What I'm saying like as long aslike as long as we did, like we
went out and it's under 100bucks, we're like oh, hell, yeah
, that's good, dude.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
You know like like seven people eating you know, in
today's market no, dude, I hearyeah, for real frequent buffets
, or do y'all look for straightup deals at restaurants?
Speaker 3 (46:38):
um, I mean, it really depends, I think.
I think I like restaurants more, but yeah, I was gonna say you
just go.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
If it happens to be, then that's just like a happy
coincidence.
But they're not.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
I don't think yeah, we're like mom and pops dude.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Yeah, because you get treated better, your plate
sizes are bigger and shit youknow you go to.
I haven't been a golden harvestyet.
I want to go there badly.
It's alright, but it's a localspot and they use what they have
.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
And then they spit it out and that's it and.
I get that there's a certainquality about it and it's super
cool.
So, like traveling the country,we've seen a lot of like.
Literally it'll look like ahouse, but the house will have
just a sign and just like cafeyou know I'm saying and like
(47:27):
between these hours in this,yeah, yeah, you know, and so
like we're kind of man, yeahyeah, no, that, and that's
badass too.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Like that you're, you're going out there, you're
getting, you're getting theseexperiences and you're, yeah,
you're seeing, like becausethere's, there's culture, you
know, between these coasts, youknow, from California to, and
people aren't even aware of it.
You know they go spend a weekin Europe and think they're
worldly, but like you haven'tbeen down to St Louis.
(47:56):
You haven't been to St Louis.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
Yeah, exactly All of the ecosystems within itself.
So we have rainforests, we havedeserts, yeah forests we have.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
You know what I'm saying, so it has it all here
dry lands highlands deltas.
We got a fucking delta here.
Yeah, lansing, I bet you, ifyou ask anybody that lives in
delta township what a delta is,bro, they're gonna be like I
don't know dude.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Fuck yeah though, man .
Uh, let's get a quick read fromour sponsors.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
Uh, we want to thank aag apex automotive group fleet
focused works on general publicrepairs yes no, uh, wheel
assessments or alignments,suspension, oil changes, quick
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Let them know you're in Bell Street.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Sorry, 517-356-4305.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
That's right.
Let them know you're in Entree3000 and that Rio and Darius
sent you.
And then we also have Casa DelRey, Casa Del Rue Dude I say it
wrong every time.
Casa Del Rue Guess who'scutting that?
Speaker 3 (49:15):
That's getting snipped.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
On center.
And what is that Cesar Chavez,across the street from?
What is that?
The Dairy Freeze, or whatever.
I love that place too, theDairy Freeze is right in the
corner.
Say hi to Richard.
He's the owner.
Messiah is his son.
(49:37):
They will take care of you.
Man, Mention cornbread andBeans and you should get a 10 or
15% discount.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
Yep 10 or 15%.
We want to thank all the Entree3000s for hanging out.
We want to thank Austin forcoming and hanging out.
Dude Salud man.
What a great episode.
Dude, big deal man.
Yeah, we had a lot of fun, itwas so easy.
Make sure you like and rate theshow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah .
Speaker 2 (00:08):
It's cornbread and beans.
Yeah, I'm busting out the flow.
Please, please, we leave.
We got another episode.
Every single time we'rebringing it slow.
Then we pack it up, bring it upand bring it to you.
Oh, no, what you gonna do,you're gonna download this
episode for you and your crew,play it, laugh it, love it, no
matter what, just make sure youtell the public.
(00:29):
Yeah, austin over here about toget it right quick.
Oh, oh.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Hit that shit.
Yeah, here we cornbread andbeans.
Yeah yeah, Brother, Ed.
Darius chillin' oh yeah, dudeBrother and Darius chilling, oh
yeah, Sipping some beer, fittingsome spits, Sipping some shit,
gonna have a fucking fit.
I hope you download thisepisode, Show it to you and your
little ass hoes you know thatgirl go download it.
(00:59):
Say please, please, please,please, let me show you what I'm
gonna do to you, Cause thisepisode so fucking cool.
Yeah, she laughing so hard shecame out her butthole and she
said I didn't know that waspossible, but I did it.
So, yeah, and I'm going to doit again, Because Darian said
(01:20):
pick it, pick it, pick it, pickit, pick it, pick it, pick it.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah, beatbox bitch it, pick it, pick it, pick it,
pick it.
Yeah, beat box bitch, get inyour face, not your sex box
bitch.
Yeah, I don't have sex, smallpenis.
What you do, I do, I mean this.
You don't rhyme on time.
Yeah, I like lemons, not limes.
Nope, when I rhyme, I'm on time, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
It's a rhyme.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
And that's how we wrap the motherfucking show.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Cornbread and beans.
Cornbread and beans.
Wicked, wicked, wicked, wickedyeah.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Beans, cornbread this is where it's at Motherfucker
Little doody butts.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Been doodling my pants since I was 10 Bitch.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
From Olympic Broyo Please try that cheeseburger.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Yeah, it's perfect, so good.
So they have one in Six Flagsout there in San Antonio, a
double bacon cheeseburger.
Yeah, oh fuck dude, so good andlike.
They're like you can tell likethey're the frozen patties yeah,
but they're like those frozenpatties that are like the
fucking seasoned ones andthey're like fat.
Yeah, fat out of it.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Let me mark this Cornbread and beans new episode.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Frozen hamburger patties.
Piss me the fuck off, do theyit I for?
For if it's me, if it's a, ifit's a family thing yeah, I
almost made frozen patties today, but here's the thing though
it's a quantity thing withfrozen patties you never go
frozen patties first, you gohomemade.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I got five kids.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Yeah, I know, but that's what I'm saying, but
that's a different scenario,though you are under different
circumstances.
So you're getting good qualityfrozen patties, though You're
not just getting bricks, right.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, and then, we're Also when I was.
If it's just, though, you'renot just getting bricks right,
you will, yeah, and then we'llalso also like if it's just like
a quick day at the park.
You know what I'm saying?
Like it really don't matter.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
You know like we kind of just need to throw something
in their bellies earlier today,austin was uh telling us to put
an egg in the hamburger, youknow, as a binder.
Yeah, you had and I didn't, Ijust hand slapped those patties,
slapped them on the grill anduh, and they came out good you
know that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
I still got a little bit of heartburn yeah from the
barbecue yeah um I do my shit.
Yeah, it depends though.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Well, so austin's like yeah, I'll grab the boxes,
but if he is gonna make thepatties, you're gonna do it.
You Do it right.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Oh yeah, I mean, if you're going to Austin's, also a
chef.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
He didn't go through the awkward, didn't know how to
barbecue phase like I did.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
No, I did, I did.
I did yeah, no, no, likebarbecue, right.
So I had my kids when, when wewere 17, and we moved to San
Antonio and we're living in thisapartment by ourselves on the
south side of San Antonio withour twins and we live next to
this fucking dude named Marioand he was my neighbor, bro,
(04:34):
this fucking, he was anelectrician but he would like
bring pallets or no, which I'mlooking for we had another light
.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Oh, I can't find it, but uh, that's alright, I just
thought we had it Ready to turnon.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Yeah, I forgot about it.
I don't even know what to say.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
What's that?
So you live next door To thisgrill master.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Oh well, he was like this Really cool Mexican dude
man and uh, he would bring homePallets and shit and make
fucking picnic tables out ofthem and everything okay and,
like you know, he'd barbecue forus and shit, right.
So, like the first time he'sbarbecuing for us, we're sitting
there and he's got you know legquarters and he's like, hey,
when you grab the leg quarter,make sure you grab it, don't
grab it by the bone, because thechicken gonna fall off the bone
(05:16):
.
I said, man, shut the fuck, youknow what I'm saying.
Like shut the fuck up, man.
I've been eating barbecue mywhole fucking life.
Ain't nobody ever made nochicken fall off the fucking
bone.
So I grabbed it by the fuckingleg to go put it on my plate and
, sure as shit, the fuckingwhole chicken fall off the
fucking bone.
So at 17 years old, I gotblessed by the grace of God to
live next to this dude whoshowed me how to use a barrel
(05:38):
pit, showed me the way yeah, heshowed me the ways of the
barbecue.
And he was like hey, boy, I'mgonna take you here under my
wing now.
I'm from texas and, uh, you'regonna know how to cook some meat
let's go that's meats in myhands, baby.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
I love it yeah, by the way, um, welcome to a brand
new episode of corn bread andbeans.
Um, my name is rio riojas.
I'm a local actor, comedian,podcaster.
I do the show about food andcomedy with my best friend,
darius kennedy.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
That's that's me right here.
My name is darius kennedy.
I am a chicago born and bredcomedian.
I am a trained actor, but Idon't get work because I don't
try.
But uh, we do podcasts, yeah,man.
Yeah, we're not acting, though.
This is real life yeah, this isreal.
(06:27):
No, we're podcasters shout outpiv in theater.
Shout out chicago actor studio,uh, my training grounds.
And also, uh, shout out, uh,second city.
Yeah, ifa program.
I was in, um, but anyway, uh,today is a very special yeah,
yeah, we have a very specialguest.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
We have a very special guest.
Let me introduce you to mybrother, austin Riojas.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
What's up, man?
What's up?
My name's Austin motherfuckingRiojas.
We're happy man, aspiringcomedian.
I'm aspiring because I'm hopingthat my brother makes it, and
if he makes it, bam, I made itbitches.
I'm a funny motherfuckerbrother makes it, and if he
makes it, bam, I made it bitches.
Yeah, you know I'm a funnymotherfucker.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
All you got to do is just show up.
Yeah, just show up.
This is the easiest job.
Just show up all the time andthen eventually, like you'll get
it yeah you'll find something.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
You'll find something that's showing up.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I'm like, yeah, then you make more money Boom.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, I remember you from five years ago.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Glad you still at it, gotta be better.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, jokes on you motherfucker.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I've been planning this for seven years.
We got you for an hour.
All right, you're headlining.
Yeah, that's what I thought,bitch, I'm back.
Hell, yeah, yeah, but, yeah,yeah.
But we're all hanging out, mybrother's hanging out.
I was like dude, you got tojump on the podcast.
I introduced him to Darius atour show.
We did comedy at the Creek.
(07:51):
Shout out, jason Pierpoint.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Yeah, jason, love you bro.
That was so much fucking funSee.
Mark Bonto first time.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, shout out Mark Bonto.
I love that guy.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
The car alarm ended up going out in the parking lot.
He'll fucking get you.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah, we had a great time.
It was a lot of fun too.
I'm happy that you were there.
You've been hanging out with usand we've been eating good too.
We've had ceviche, we hadbarbecue.
We've made barbecue like threedifferent times since you've
been here.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Yeah, it's been nice.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
You've cooked and then I've cooked and then you
cooked, although, shout out,before the show at Comedy at the
Creek, austin threw down and Imade a reel of opening the grill
and it's been taking off.
It's been doing all right, it'sbeen doing all right.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Bro, feel free to come over.
I got a smoker.
Oh yeah, I throw it out anytimeGas grill and my favorite is my
charcoal that I've had eversince I was a teenager Nice.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Nice.
All right, let's take a break.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
The grill that I had, the Weber that I had ever since
I was a teenager, was handeddown to me from my dad.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Dang.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
And I learned how to first grill ribs.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
And then also grill fucking turkeys.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Oh, nice, nice Turkeys, whole turkeys.
Shout out Weber.
I see that you got the bigWeber in the back right now.
That big kettle I was justtelling Austin, I want a
full-size one.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Yeah.
If they'd like to sponsor acook-off, I'd definitely yeah,
weber.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
We know you're fucking listening the fuck, so I
miss a free grill.
We love you.
I grew up on your grills, youhear that he grew up on the
hand-me-down Weber grill thatfucking smoked like a champ.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
My dad gave me a Weber grill when I was in my
teenage years and I still haveit to this day.
Thank you, Weber.
What are we talking about?
What the fuck?
Are we talking about?
Black Weber grill?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I use Weber.
Two days in a row I've beendialing in my little portable
Weber tailgate.
And season's coming, you don'twant to bring a Weber grill out
to the tailgate and the nextthing you know you're burning
every fucking thing.
You're a little weird, yeah,the tailgate, and the next thing
you know you're burning everyfucking thing, or you can't get
weird.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yeah, everybody's gonna be mad.
Yeah, and they are not gonnawant to eat your shit?
Speaker 2 (10:09):
no, and then you were .
I'm already wearing michigangear, you know at michigan state
, so it's like around theseparts yeah, yeah, around these
negative woods.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
You know they don't like your kind around here so,
austin, what is your favoritething?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
to grill or to barbecue?
Oh man, given a choice man.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
I'm trying to smoke a brisket, bro.
Every time, ooh yeah, what do?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
you smoke your brisket in or on.
What is your preferred choiceof wood or coal?
Yeah briquettes, bricquettes.
Uh, what are you doing?
Pound size, so I can get like agood hour.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Uh, like, count on your dedication to your brisket.
Oh man, all right.
Well, I mean like, if we'regonna go all the way in, yeah,
put your paper marinate.
You know what I'm saying.
Like I like to do, like thecoke and jack marinade, you know
, put it inside wait like jack,like Jack Daniels.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah yeah, whoa Put a whiskey in it Nice.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Kind of let it sit and brine overnight.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Get all nice and tender up.
I'm a mesquite guy all the way.
Yeah, mesquite wood All the way.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Straight mesquite, you don't mix.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
No, no, charcoal briquettes no no, if you're
going to smoke it, you're goingto smoke it low and you're going
to smoke it long.
You know what I'm saying so youcook that motherfucker out at
200 for, you know, 12 to 16hours, depending on the size.
But I mean, I guess I don'treally weigh the size, but like
it's usually a $7 to $80 brisket, yeah yeah, so pretty big
(11:39):
brisket and do you have like atime, like per pound?
Nah time, like per pound, orjust like you, just you just
kind of feel it, yeah, man, wellyou know it's just cooking and
you kind of just you see thatbark coming, you know what I
mean.
And every once in a while youcut a piece off and see what you
kind of look like and yeah,taste her you know, because it's
beef, you know, so you can eatit whenever you know what I mean
.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
So yeah, but you just want to yeah yeah, but you wait
.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Once you get it right , it has that little smoke ring
all the way around.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Yeah, you get that pink surprise Like hey, surprise
, surprise that tannin bark onit, you know, tastes a little
like candy.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Come on.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Surprise, surprise, that's my favorite part of
barbecue and smoking.
I did three different types ofrubs on pork shoulder and my
tear smoker with mesquite andhickory uh wood nice yeah, we
(12:35):
got, we got some of that.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
You gave us some.
Yeah, dude, 10 hours fire.
Um, he gave us a bunch of rawpork show.
Oh, actually, no, I'll tell you.
Yeah, so you were smoking with,uh, mesquite and hickory yeah,
so I used that.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
It was.
It's a.
It is a.
A fucking permanent smoke.
Smell like yeah, after youfucking heat it up in a
microwave or you read like Ifroze some.
Yeah, I did like a jama.
Yeah, it was like a fuckingspicy.
All I needed was like supersweet barbecue sauce or super
(13:09):
sweet you know sauce to comparethat with, and it was just great
.
I did that.
I ate that shit on tacos todaywith some fucking yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
A fucking pico that I made from my garden and then
one fucking spring onion, or youknow one green onion that I got
from fucking La Estrella.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Let's go, let's go.
Yeah, he gave me a bunch ofpork shoulder that he didn't
smoke and we chunked it up andturned it into gardenitas.
But he gave us some of thepulled pork.
We put it on a loaded bakedpotato.
We put it on some other mealstoo.
But yeah, dude, you did a greatjob.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Dude, I love cooking Me too.
It's a beautiful thing whenpeople eat your food and you're
just sitting at that table andnobody's talking.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
If I'm in the mood to throw down.
I love to know if I, if I'm inthe mood to like throw down,
I'll.
I love to cook, but if I'm notin the mood, I'll throw down and
I'll still taste like I'llthrow down, you know so you're
cooking either way?
No, no, my, I'm not gonna lie.
My wife, she does a bang up job.
She's always planning out meals, she's always uh instagram
posts that I've seen about yourcooking.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Are they?
Uh, it's not even his shit.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
No, that's me, that's me.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
That's me.
You notice, I don't post everyday.
I don't post every day.
You're right If I posted everyday.
You're a teacher.
Yeah, if I posted every day,about eight out of ten of those
everyday posts would be Veronica.
But when I post my food andthen I was on like a three-day
(14:49):
cooking, cooking spree I'd cooklike three days in a row.
I'll get some new canola oiland I'll have to break that
bitch in.
You know I'm talking aboutbreak that canola, although,
dude, sad story.
Uh, I have a cast iron wafflemaker.
Haven't made waffles inprobably over a year and I just
could not get it down.
I couldn't get the temp right,I couldn't get the timing right.
(15:10):
It was everyone, it was quick,dude man.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
It was so hot and the batter is thin bro.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
It was tough it had a big crank.
It was a tough break because Ido a good job with waffles.
Those are one of my pride andjoy, like breakfast foods, Kelly
makes them.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
She has a little mini waffle maker she makes it.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yeah, she never cleans it up.
You know, it's like her staple,she's like made them.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
It just vlogs off Into the fucking abyss of the
liver, girl.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Yeah no, you got to clean while you cook, Otherwise
abyss of the liver girl.
Yeah no, you, you gotta, yougotta, you gotta clean while you
cook, otherwise your spouse isjust gonna get mad at you.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah, I mean, then you also have no surface area to
do shit that you need to do,bro yeah, yeah, yeah you know,
like when you need to chop someshit up, you gotta do dishes.
That's just lame.
Yeah, when you're on your likecooking fucking you know.
I mean you're fucking all rightmaster chef in it yeah, dude,
you're in your brain.
You're like I am the best chefand you know, I mean yeah nobody
(16:09):
can chef like this no, noeverything's under salted what
is the sea salt?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
no, it's no salt like matt damon and fucking uh uh.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
What is that I was going to say?
A beautiful minded shit.
Good Will Hunting.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Matt Damon and shit.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
You like apples.
What's the square root?
How you like them, apples Boom.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
My boy just schooled you.
My boy's smarter than you, dude, I have that fucking movie on
VHS, bro.
I recorded that over some movieI stole from Blockbuster.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Let's go, let's go.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
I was a big fan of that movie.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
I was thinking about Blockbuster Shout out to one of
my co-workers, ben Affleck.
I met him, bummed a cigaretteoff of him.
He's all right.
He's all right.
He's a really cool dude,although, I'll tell you this,
his, uh, his handshake a littleweak.
Yeah, ben affleck that's becausehe got a weak handshake that's
because he was going throughthat divorce and he just had
(17:20):
nothing yeah, he was trying toplay bruce wayne and like give
some random mexican on set whokept calling him ben affleck ben
affleck, ben affleck, he's likedude, I'm trying to be bruce
wayne.
Ben affleck, I fucking love you,man, fucking love you.
Ben affleck, you ever been on?
Tell him, steve dave, how comeyou haven't done kevin smith's
(17:42):
podcast?
Know, just ask.
Yeah, he was cool, he was cool.
He's like get away from thecrafty, take it easy, take it
easy.
You know, I have a one linerole.
We're the same, me and you.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
We're the same big time in us over here.
Commercials fucking you knowmovie you know fucking.
Commercials, fucking this guy.
Another commercial.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
She was amazing though.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, wearing Chiefs gear.
Weird yeah, it was weird.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I had to sign an NDA but they had me in the
Louisville Cardinals, so I waslike you know, go, what's his
name?
The quarterback Lamar Jackson.
Go, Lamar Jackson, you know,he's the only Louisville
Cardinal I could think of out ofthe top of my head.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Rio's just crying.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
He's like slow-mo, he's like there you go yeah, the
director's like Rio, hey,you're happy, you're in a good
hotel room and you're doing alot of good research, all right,
so you're happy, yeah.
And every time it's like theyeah, I just kept crying.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
That's what they didn't really understand, you
know they cast him for this roleand they were like you know
it's such a minor role, you knowAnybody can do it, it's easy.
But like yo, you were literallyasking this man To betray
everything.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Not only his state, no, no, no.
But like his, colleges, His.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
He's not even rooting for his quarterback, you know.
And to do it with anenthusiastic face, Like
commercial I know he's signed toNDA, but when it comes out
commercial for real, like lookat your boy, it's going to get a
lot of play, you hurt him.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Yeah, a lot of airplay in the South.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Yeah, man, that's a lot of my games you're playing,
man, you know what I'm saying.
So, like shout out to the manit's all right though he's, why
would you do him like that?
Give him more work.
He has children.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
And bills to pay.
You made him suck a dick.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
He was a whore for you.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
This guy was sucking.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
This guy was jiggling balls.
I sucked dick from the back.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
He was over there sucking dicks and finger popping
assholes, fucking all day, noteven for his own people.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
He's a good guy.
Look at what you made him do.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
You guys turned me into a dirty slut.
Why?
Speaker 1 (19:52):
It wasn't even a union gig.
You get down for the union, butfor Randall's.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Randall's.
That's why they only gothandies.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
They told me it was union.
They lied to you.
Yeah, union, this dick.
I was like dang.
I was like I am in this dick,dang it.
They're all together, all right, all right, all right.
Enough about getting fucked bythe industry All right, I don't
like.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
It Makes me feel bad.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Where the fuck are we ?
Catch up, weekly catch up, butnever on a hot dog, never on a
hot dog.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Look at me.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
I put ketchup on a hot dog.
Yeah, Wait what.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
What do you mean?
If I'm going to gobble a glizzy, that motherfucker going to
have it.
No, listen, we are a couple ofglizzy goblins, all right.
What is happening?
We're some glizzy goblinanimals, but ketchup for when we
(20:49):
get there.
Austin's jumping the gun alittle bit right now.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
He can have the floor when that.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Lo siento my brother.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
We just want to know.
What have you been doing?
Yeah, why are you puttingketchup on hot dogs when you're
traveling all over the country?
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Well, this past week we've been pretty mellow.
We've been in Michigan hangingout with Rio.
Yeah, mellow and out.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
The week before was and I loved it Been so happy.
Oh my gosh, my brother's hereGet to look at him with my
eyeballs.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Dude it's been fun.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Dude, I've heard I can brothers I'm here, yeah,
yeah, and I just for real, justfuck yeah that's fucking right,
dude.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
I'm sorry about that audience at least once.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Episode one of us will drop our mic.
All right, we do, we'reprofessionals, all right we're
sorry about it.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
We're sorry about it um, but the week before our well
, actually the two weeks before,whether, yeah, the past month
we purchased a bus.
Um, before that I was on thepct.
I was hiking the Pacific CrestTrail.
I did the desert section.
I hiked for about 40 days andaround 600 miles.
It was a fun time.
I actually got hella flighted.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
I'm not gay, but I just want to suck your dick.
It's pretty small, it's easy.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
How many miles did you do?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
I can't even bring two laundry baskets up, two
flights of stairs.
This motherfucker's in thedesert walking around, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Funny story, man, right, like my first day, right?
I go out there and I think likeI'm like, yeah, you know I'm
going to be hiking, it's goingto be beautiful, I'm going to
take my laptop and I'm going tofinish my novel you know what
I'm saying and write all thetime.
So I take my fucking laptop, Itake my iPad.
I have charges for all thatshit.
I have like 15 extra pounds,right?
So my fucking, my pack is like80 pounds.
Mind you, like most people'spacks are like 40, 50, 50 loaded
(22:41):
, Fuck Right, and I'm likehiking all this shit and
wondering why I'm dying dude.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
You're not even in the army and you're doing all
this.
This guy's like fuck the RB,David Goggins, whatever.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I got some epic pictures, epic mushrooms.
There was one point where thewind was blowing 70 miles an
hour and I was going through theHatchipi and there's a wind
farm and you're up 7,000 feetand there's a cliff face and the
wind was blowing so hard.
I just took my pack off andflew with the Eagles and shit.
(23:14):
I just kind of like laid,leaned over the edge, like I'm
like kind of like a, like a 45over and that's crazy.
The wind carried me and shit,and it was just fucking badass
dude, like just a lot ofbeautiful things and then, yeah,
that's crazy yeah, then we wentbought a bus because, like I,
had two heart attacks umprior.
So like life, you know.
So we bought a bus and we'rerenovating it to a tiny home and
(23:36):
kind of just touring the US.
We went to Oklahoma, did somecliff jumping in Oklahoma,
stopped out there in Missouri,we did the Lake of the Ozarks in
Missouri.
That was pretty cool.
We did Six Flags in Chicago andstayed in Kenosha for a night
and then booked it to the UP,chilled in the UP for a little
bit, came down, did NorthernMichigan and now we're just kind
(23:57):
of here.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
I feel like we should keep a segment on the podcast
called Austin's Weekly Ketchupwhat's going on with Austin when
he at what's going?
Speaker 3 (24:09):
on.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
He's still putting ketchup on glizzies.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
I'm still putting ketchup on glizzies.
I still put ketchup on glizzies, man, I mean, you can do that,
if you do that.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
I mean, you really cemented your place in life so
you can put whatever you want onyour glizzy yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
I had a bear encounter, I had an online
encounter out there.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
All right, oh yeah, you guys didn't swap bear
encounters.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
I got hella flighted yeah.
So I yeah like got sick on thetrail.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
And got super dehydrated.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
I had like a liter and a half of water left when I
got hella flighted out but mybody wouldn't ingest any water
and I was just like duking outthe back door and fucking
sweating it out.
It was already almost 100degrees, dookie breezing.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I had like fucking a gut Explosive diarrhea.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
I think my water got contaminated, and then I drank
it.
With just straight runs.
I tried booking it off themountain and I called 911.
And I was like, hey, I got twoand a half miles to get to this
dirt road and I'm going to getthere.
But when I get there two and ahalf miles to get to this dirt
road and I'm going to get there,but when I get there, like I'm
going to need to get off thisfucking mountain or I'm going to
fucking die and they were likeall right, and I lost reception
(25:18):
and like coming around the bed,literally I was on the phone
with the sheriff and I comearound the bed and you just hear
this fucking, and like there'sa fucking mom, like fucking
coming up this way, cubby, stuckin the bramble, like fucking
sniping at me, and I was likefucking I fell and I was like
fuck you motherfuckers, you knowwhat I'm saying.
I was like you gotta get bigand shit, yeah, and I'm loud and
(25:41):
shit.
And like the cubby scampered upand the mama went down and shit
, and I fucking booked itforward and god, I went two and
a half miles like 17 and a halfminutes, bro.
Like fucking booked it off thatmountain and then just sat there
and waited for the helicopterand it came and picked me up.
They did uh, three, three bags,almost three bags of iv and I
pissed fucking t so like I wasoh, I've been there before.
Yeah, like yeah super you aredone, so yeah that's crazy like
(26:04):
yeah, it was.
It was nothing, but it was uh.
I called my brother immediatelylike after I got out the
hospital.
I was like, hey, bro, yeah.
You just had a helicopterflight, man Sue.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
No, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
I was like, and he was like, dude, now go back on
the trail.
And I was like, yeah, I think Imight just go back up to the
pass and just stay at the passand stuff.
He's like no, bro, just go home.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
I think I'm tough when I bring two garbage cans
out at the same time.
This motherfucker is fightingoff hordes of bears on a
mountain, while being dehydratedand nowhere to be found or
friends or help in sight.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
So glad that you're all right, though, bro, so glad
that you made it and you're hereLike it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Anything I've ever done, ain't shit, I ain't shit.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Nah, man, you know everybody.
Oh no, all right, all right,all right, all right, all right,
shit, all and shit.
Oh man, there you go.
Oh no, all right, all right,all right, All right, all right,
all right.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
All right though, man .
Yeah, so we've been cooking,we've been hanging, we went and
played golf the other day, yeah,we went and played golf
yesterday.
We're probably going to go outand play again next week, of
course.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Honestly here.
Yeah, uh, I can't really say itenough.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I mean, it's just good, my brother has been
amazing.
And then meeting derrick, yeahyeah.
Then youtube just hitting itoff too.
That shit was so sick.
That's just pretty destined um,but no dude, like it's just
like when I meet all yourfriends and they automatically,
like when deon came here, likeyou were, like dude I was like
oh, I'm relieved he's finallyhere now, like just have fun.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah, you know I mean like, but like same shit, bro.
Um, I think we come from thesame meaning with just enjoying
life, enjoying people yeah whichis, uh, the camaraderie that we
share, which is awesome dude,it's so sick man fucking some.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
It's some body coat.
Yeah, uh, but let's get intothe fucking Munch Madness.
We've been chatting, we've beentalking, but it's time, it's
time.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
We haven't looked at it yet.
I've been following this sinceday one, you guys.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
It's your turn.
It's your turn, and I havecalled Rio every fucking time.
You guys have made a verycontroversy one, and my biggest
one is Maxwell's.
Before we even flipped thatover, we had to pull it.
Nobody knew it.
I want to let you guys know itwas a dud man.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
They didn't get the respect because, nobody knew it.
You can't watch it fail overand over, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
And it took a lot too before we did.
We didn't want to change it.
Yeah, because he's from Chicagoand I love fucking Maxwell's
you know.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Well, it's a steeple.
I guess more than anything it'snostalgic to go get those
fucking soggy fries and orangesoda and greasy dog Dude.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
It's just like so many times I've been in the city
with people from where I grewup at, or I get relatives that
come up from fucking Atlanta andshit Like my cousin Leslie
freaks out over fucking Maxwell.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Hey, let's go get some Polish's and shit.
Yeah, dude.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
And it's just you know.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
You got to go to the right one, or else you might get
shot or fucking robbed.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Well, the one on Independence is pretty safe.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Yeah, it depends man.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
What time?
Before 10 pm.
Yes, well, let's flip this badboy.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Let's flip this bad boy.
So the way we do it is we goover your final four.
This is the north, this is theeast, south and west.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
And we're going to talk about who you have
representing each division andhow you got to that point.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
Yeah, yeah, I love how you guys just piled the
fucking hood fucking fast foodsin one coast Like Rally's,
carl's Jr, white Castle andPopeye's, you know like you
don't find Rally's or WhiteCastle anywhere other than well,
(29:58):
white Castle definitely notoutside the hood and Rally's not
outside some country bumpkinsor some fucking Mexican
motherfuckers working the fields.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
There's a White Castle in Brighton.
Yep White as fuck Prove ask askask uh, robert uh, where's
brighton?
Speaker 3 (30:21):
at where's brighton?
At um by detroit yeah yeahmetro detroit right, right,
right, right uh but it is white.
It's pretty white, right I'mtrying to think of it bright but
I haven't been there.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
We got to go, all right.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
All right, All right.
So right out the gate, you'reonly the second person ever to
have Chick-fil-A win in theNorth.
Well, yeah, man.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Like Arby's garbage, mcdonald's fuck the garbage.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
You got Taco Bell being a first to exit.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Well, all right, taco bell's only good when you're
drunk and you don't have to chewold reliable so it has a spot
it does have a spot, but notagainst like, like literally.
I'll take chick-fil-a, sober ordrunk.
I'll take taco bell when I'mdrunken, or stupor stone and
don't want to chew you don'thave a hankering for, uh,
chicken quesadilla, though.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
No, I don't like their case or crunch wrap
supreme.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
I don't like the contract.
What I did like is their doubledeckers and they took it off
the menus.
But you can make it.
Yeah, you do make it, but thennow people don't even know what
you're talking about.
You can explain it and it likekills a buzz, you know so so you
got taco bell going out quick.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Chick-fil-a's going over arby's yeah, arby's over
mcdonald's.
Is that tough for you to choose, or no, not?
Speaker 3 (31:31):
at all?
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Were any of these actually tough, or were they
snap decisions Snap?
Speaker 1 (31:34):
decisions.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
What's your?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
favorite thing at Arby's.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
My favorite thing at Arby's is just their double melt
with cheese and horsey sauce.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
It's you know.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
I'm a beef and cheddar guy.
Fucking Kaiser roll fuckinghorsey sauce and fucking Arby's
sauce.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Don't get me wrong.
I mean it horsey sauce andfucking Arby's sauce.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Don't get me wrong.
It's good.
It's a certain flavor to it.
Arby's is great, just forsandwiches, their sides.
They try too hard, bro, thefucking jalapeno cheddar bites
or whatever, with their fuckingsweet and sour, whatever sauce
is stupid as shit.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
It's never.
It's just always a hollow shell, because they always deep fry
them too long yeah exactly, youknow, and also, you got to
remember, I'm coming out ofHouston, so like we had so many
good food options, you know,yeah, of course, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Spoiled.
Yeah, Just like me.
I'm from Chicago, yeah, likeyou know like, yeah Now.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Now in the east East you got Portillo's winning it up
.
That's not tough.
Long John Silver Was who it hadto beat out to represent.
We've recently discovered Whitepeople don't trust Long John
Silver Did you know that?
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Did you know that?
I did not know that I'll pass.
They don't like the hushpuppies.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Even like the trash, we've had white trash, we've had
like well educated and didn'tmatter.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
The entire spectrum.
White folks are like don't youdare go to fuck you.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
Have y'all had Fat Steve on the show yet I would be
excited to see him.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Oh, you know what we haven't?
Speaker 3 (33:07):
He's probably, he's probably fucking fought somebody
for a gift certificate for somehush puppies and lemon wedges,
I'll fuck you up very nice aboutit, though I'll get you nice
guys are always the one yougotta watch out for man punches
(33:28):
you in the nuts.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
He's just like, yeah, I'll have, I'll have as long as
you hear as you come to, I'llhave, I can breathe.
I got beat up by a dude in theparking lot of fucking.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Excuse me.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, I hate that place man.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
I've been waiting for that fucking burp to come up.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
I almost want to beat you on your back, like you,
little toddler.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Is that milk too hot, baby boy?
Funny thing is there is a videoof Pat Steve Like throwing
somebody on the ground Out inthe parking lot of an open mic
in Detroit Dude.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
I never got physical, other than one time At an open
mic in chicago, and it was atmutiny, and mutiny was a punk
based club like club and then weturned it into an open mic spot
.
My buddies used to run it andeverybody would leave from power
hour yeah and then they wouldwalk over to mutiny and
(34:32):
everybody be be fucking hammereddude.
And this one dude saidsomething to me and I punched
him in the stomach.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
One stage.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
And I felt bad about it.
I was like and then he was likeyou know what I mean?
I was like that's not good.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
That's not good, I didn't even aim for the face.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
He did something fucked up to me or said
something fucked up to me.
That's why I punched him likeinstinctively.
I was like dude, I don'tdisrespect you like that, you
just right in the gut.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
I wish I was there.
I would have followed up With apunch to the face.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
I don't want to be around people If somebody
bothers me and y'all around,let's just do the next one.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
So, speaking of making somebody poop in the
stomach, right, my first big.
So you remember the Tough manshit, right, the Tough man
contest back in Bay City.
It kind of went big, but it waslike black and yellow and
people from the fight or peoplefrom the crowd could come in
together and fight the Tough manof the contest I don't know
(35:35):
nothing yeah, our door ran yeahour door.
So I went to one when I was likea toddler man, maybe like like
10 or 11 years old, and my dad'snot toddler?
Well yeah, but like I was yeah,you know what I'm saying you
know, like you's a big boy Imade big boy poopies, but you
know I'm 10, I'm a big boy so mydad rolls me out my stroller
(35:56):
right, so like we're at thisfight right, and like this dude
comes up and like he's like Iasked the crowd who's gonna fuck
?
you know, fight me, blah, blah,blah.
This big motherfucker's likecome on, kick your ass right.
I'm like big fat motherfucker.
Gets in the ring, he's sittingthere and he puts on the boxing
(36:18):
gloves and comes out there andthat dude comes down and just
hits him right in the gut andyou just hear.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
He poopied himself.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
So funny story.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
His white shorts turned brown.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
He hit the brown note .
Speaker 2 (36:39):
It was hilarious.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Coffee tits, I shit myself, so he didn't feel alone.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Shitting yourself is cool.
Rub shit butts.
Have a shit contest.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Alright, we're going to move on to the south, alright
.
Alright, no, you're good.
That was a good story.
All right, we're going to moveon to the South, all right.
All right, sorry, no, you'regood, that was a good story.
You got Wendy's.
You got Wendy's winning theSouth division.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
I hate you.
Right now.
He goes sorry After going indepth about poop and butts.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, no, it's all right.
And then he says, sorry, henames it poop in butts.
No, it's alright.
And then he says, sorry, henames it Fucking liars.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
No, it was a good story.
I liked it.
It was a lot of poop.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
It's cool talking about poop, bro.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
We don't shy away from poop contact.
Don't worry, we're alright.
Moving on to the next segment.
I apologize.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Taking up so much time.
No, no, no, You're not bro,You're fucking perfect.
You're perfect.
It's the perfect fuckingepisode.
Alright.
We just want to know why do youhave Subway and Wendy's and why
do you have Wendy's beatingSubway to be the champ?
You're not down with a $12footlong anymore.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
No, I don't like a $12.
Well, I do like a $12 footlongChicken Bacon Ranch.
I don't like the $12.
Well, I do like the $12footlong Chicken bacon ranch.
I'll pay that.
You'll pay $12 for a chickenbacon ranch.
Yeah, bro, all day Over afucking Little Caesars.
Yeah, dude, little Caesars.
Turn into cardboard, alright.
So if you're going to ask me topay $7 for cardboard and hard,
burn, but it's a fast food pizza.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
It's the only fast food pizza, dude, if you're
gonna.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Cardboard and hard bread.
Like cardboard and hard bread.
He's so right, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna pay the $12,.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
You know I survived off of Little Caesar's Pizza
when I was a bachelor.
Like every move, bro.
It changed dude, and then, likeit would stay in your gut for
like three days, bro, Like justsit there.
Yeah, bro, I don't know if theychanged the recipe, but back
then, dude, yeah, I would havevoted for what Austin voted for
(38:40):
too.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Okay, so you got Wendy's taking the South over
Subway.
Even though Wendy's tried tokill me.
Yeah, Wendy's tried to killDarius.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
Well, you know, I'll fuck Wendy's and just put Subway
up there.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
No, Finally in the West you got White Castle taking
over Rally's.
That's surprising for me,because me and you, we have
Rally's pretty near and dear toour heart.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Yeah, when I found out Rally's was also called
Checkers, I said they ain'tconsistent, you know, and it
broke my heart.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Damn White Castle, is White Castle everywhere.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Austin, please, I'm begging you.
What's up, big dog, I grew upoff of Checkers.
Yeah, and I understand thebrand merge.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
And then I moved here and guess what's down the
street Rally.
I still go there.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
Well, let me ask you a question Does Checkers got
Kool-Aid?
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Yeah, I've never had Kool-Aid At either one of them.
I've never tried Rally's got.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Kool-Aid at either one of them.
I've never tried it Really.
They've had Kool-Aid untilCheckers came.
Checkers got Kool-Aid too.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
They have to.
Speaker 3 (39:50):
Houston has Checkers and we went to Checkers and I
wanted to get me a big fatBradley Burger and the fries
with a great Kool-Aid and Icouldn't.
Well, they probably didn't havegrape, no, they didn't have
Kool-Aid period.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Does your Houston checkers have?
Dang, I was upset highly Doesyour Houston checkers have?
What the Dude?
You just tossed me Sweet tea.
Speaker 3 (40:13):
Yeah, everybody's got sweet tea.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
In the South?
Right yeah, but they don't havethat up here.
Dude, we can't get sweet tea atrallies?
Well, no, but they don't havethat up here dude, we can't get
sweet tea at rallies?
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Well no, but you can get like Kool-Aid at rallies.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Try it.
We'll go tomorrow and see youcan't get Kool-Aid at rallies
anymore.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
It's a sound thing, bro.
See, now you can't, becauseCheckers bought them.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
That's what happened.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Dang I'm charged.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Okay, I'm charged about this.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
We've got to invest.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
So for the longest time you can pull up at this
Rally's right here in LansingBefore they did the bag of fries
, you get a big old fries and alarge grape Kool-Aid.
I used to walk down thatSaginaw all the time and I'd get
it all the time Really Sitoutside and I'd just get
Kool-Aid out.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
All right.
Well, let's get to thechampionship.
In the championship round, yougot White Castle versus
Portillo's, and for the winner,who do you?
Speaker 3 (41:07):
got White Castle.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Man.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
White Castle.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Over Portillo's.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
And just recently Hold up we go why?
Well, just recently, like, Ifed all my five of my kids and
myself after a full day oftyphoon typhoon, you know, the
whole water park and Six Flagsand all kinds of shit for $70.
And we ate fat with leftovers.
(41:35):
Yeah, and it was fresh.
Did you get two Crave cases?
No, we got they running aspecial with 10 cheese sliders
for $8.
So we got 40 sliders and 36chicken rings.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Dang.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
And a bag, a bunch of fries.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Bro.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
We had like a feast.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
You gotta go Crave Case bro.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
It's cheaper.
Well, no, right now that deal'scheaper.
The Crave Cases was like $30for like $32.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
And they're $10 for $8.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
Just a dollar.
Well, no, three times eight is$24.
So like $8 difference.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was like no, that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
It matters when you got 78 kids.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
We making them bucks Dude what a great bracket,
though.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
What a great bracket.
I get it.
Yeah, great reasoning.
Yeah, great reasoning.
Everything that you chose.
Even if you said it was a snapdecision, you had a reason
behind it and, honestly, that'swhat we want.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
We want to hear what your favorite is and then tell
you why it should have beenPortillo's.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Portillo's is such a niche though, if you're not
within like Metro Chicago.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
That's you and your wife.
That is like Kids.
Fast food to kids is fast food.
It don't matter if it's afucking dude in a red and yellow
suit or if it's a dude with aburger hat, it's fast food.
They're excited about it, don'tmatter.
The quality of fast food onlydwindles down when you fucking
(43:18):
become an adult.
And then you're looking for thefact that.
I'm spending money on this shit.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
And I want to enjoy it, but you all need to enjoy it
and save money at the same.
It needs to be economical andtasty at the same time.
Yeah, I understand the whitecat.
I fucks with it.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
Yeah, yeah, we all like the Portillo my wife loves
fucking White Castle.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
I fucks with it.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
My wife loves fucking White Castle.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
If I'm going to wait 10 to 15 minutes for a meal, I'd
rather go in and wait the 20 to30.
Or sit down.
So at that point it's no longerfashion.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
I'll wait 35 minutes in the McDonald's drive-thru for
one McChicken.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
But I get it, I get it bro.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Yeah, I get it.
I get it Shout out to my wifefor being patient with me.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah, to be able to provide I mean, I know this
sounds so funny or goofy, but beable to provide your kids and
your family with White Castlelike at your leisure, yeah, and
you all have a big family.
It's pretty fucking dope manLike nobody can be like.
Yeah, I fucking ate 80 fuckingburgers and now I still got some
(44:31):
left over.
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Who else?
You know what I'm saying.
Yeah, I feel like Oprah when Icome in there.
You know what I'm saying.
You get a burger, you get aburger, you get a burger, you
get a burger, you get a burger.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
You want a chicken wings, you get a burger.
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Let's go.
We never had the choice as kids.
We never had the choice.
We got to eat whatever the fuckwas given to us yeah, yeah.
And, dude, my mom despised.
I was telling my fiance thisshit because I don't understand
being a parent, right, I don'tunderstand being a parent in
this.
Uh uh.
This aspect is snacks, dude.
(45:07):
I grew up in a household wheremy mom grocery shopped and then
we had dinner and then, if youwere hungry, you made yourself a
sandwich.
Maybe you ate a couple of chipsto tie you over.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Until when your mom was done with making dinner.
Yeah, and like the wholefucking snack thing I do, we, we
did not have snacks.
Yeah, me and my brother werefucking star for four hours If
my mom was making meatloaf.
Yeah, and smell it and hate it.
It's good for you.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
And then you clean your plate afterwards, bro, your
plate is clean.
Yeah, but like yeah, man, so Iwent on a tangent a little bit.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
No, it's fucking beautiful.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
It makes sense when you have a family your family is
a lot larger than most but thefact that you can be like yo
we're gonna eat White Castle,we're gonna enjoy it.
We're gonna eat a lot of thisshit, you're gonna get tired of
it and we're gonna have some forprobably late night tonight.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Dude, my family is like so big.
Whenever we go out to eat likewe just like, as long as we're
out under 100, that's a nice daylike and like that's lunch, or
do you know?
What I'm saying like as long aslike as long as we did, like we
went out and it's under 100bucks, we're like oh, hell, yeah
, that's good, dude.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
You know like like seven people eating you know, in
today's market no, dude, I hearyeah, for real frequent buffets
, or do y'all look for straightup deals at restaurants?
Speaker 3 (46:38):
um, I mean, it really depends, I think.
I think I like restaurants more, but yeah, I was gonna say you
just go.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
If it happens to be, then that's just like a happy
coincidence.
But they're not.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
I don't think yeah, we're like mom and pops dude.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Yeah, because you get treated better, your plate
sizes are bigger and shit youknow you go to.
I haven't been a golden harvestyet.
I want to go there badly.
It's alright, but it's a localspot and they use what they have
.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
And then they spit it out and that's it and.
I get that there's a certainquality about it and it's super
cool.
So, like traveling the country,we've seen a lot of like.
Literally it'll look like ahouse, but the house will have
just a sign and just like cafeyou know I'm saying and like
(47:27):
between these hours in this,yeah, yeah, you know, and so
like we're kind of man, yeahyeah, no, that, and that's
badass too.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Like that you're, you're going out there, you're
getting, you're getting theseexperiences and you're, yeah,
you're seeing, like becausethere's, there's culture, you
know, between these coasts, youknow, from California to, and
people aren't even aware of it.
You know they go spend a weekin Europe and think they're
worldly, but like you haven'tbeen down to St Louis.
(47:56):
You haven't been to St Louis.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
Yeah, exactly All of the ecosystems within itself.
So we have rainforests, we havedeserts, yeah forests we have.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
You know what I'm saying, so it has it all here
dry lands highlands deltas.
We got a fucking delta here.
Yeah, lansing, I bet you, ifyou ask anybody that lives in
delta township what a delta is,bro, they're gonna be like I
don't know dude.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Fuck yeah though, man .
Uh, let's get a quick read fromour sponsors.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
Uh, we want to thank aag apex automotive group fleet
focused works on general publicrepairs yes no, uh, wheel
assessments or alignments,suspension, oil changes, quick
shit, one-day turnaround, theygot your back.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
Let them know you're in Bell Street.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Sorry, 517-356-4305.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
That's right.
Let them know you're in Entree3000 and that Rio and Darius
sent you.
And then we also have Casa DelRey, Casa Del Rue Dude I say it
wrong every time.
Casa Del Rue Guess who'scutting that?
Speaker 3 (49:15):
That's getting snipped.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
On center.
And what is that Cesar Chavez,across the street from?
What is that?
The Dairy Freeze, or whatever.
I love that place too, theDairy Freeze is right in the
corner.
Say hi to Richard.
He's the owner.
Messiah is his son.
(49:37):
They will take care of you.
Man, Mention cornbread andBeans and you should get a 10 or
15% discount.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
Yep 10 or 15%.
We want to thank all the Entree3000s for hanging out.
We want to thank Austin forcoming and hanging out.
Dude Salud man.
What a great episode.
Dude, big deal man.
Yeah, we had a lot of fun, itwas so easy.
Make sure you like and rate theshow.
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