February 10, 2025 • 39 mins
Life’s chaos can often spark creativity and reflection, as evidenced by humorous anecdotes about workplace dynamics and personal experiences. This episode traverses topics like the genius behind grocery store marketing, the push for efficiency in team settings, and the whimsical narrative of the sad Pepsi Man.
• Exploring personal chaos in everyday life
• Humorous reflections on a foot injury and workplace absurdities
• The art of grocery store Super Bowl displays
• Balancing chaotic leadership with structured organization
• The philosophy of urgency versus capacity in productivity
• The creation of the shared narrative of the sad Pepsi Man
• Recognizing the humor in corporate life and community connections
Share your thoughts and laughs with us! Join our Discord and let’s keep the conversation going!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Bet, you didn't see that coming, did you?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
You just the last couple.
You've just jumped right intoit.
Cold turkey, no warmup, nowarning.
You just brought Craig right in.
He just smacks me right in theear hole and I don't appreciate
it.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
You're going to be in for a real shock, Clark, when I
tell you I don't have a topicfor the day.
You just started this.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
No, no plan, no discussion, you're just rip of
this.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
No, no plan, no discussion.
You just yeah.
This is.
This is chaos energy I'mbringing this week.
I need to be chaotic because ofmy lack of ability to be
chaotic in my, my personal,professional life, so I'm
bringing it to the pod.
Welcome to the chaos pod.
I'm bruce and I'm clark.
Chaos.
This is chaos strategy.
(00:46):
Go f yourself.
How's it going, clark?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
it's chaotic.
How about you?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
bro, it's so chaotic I'm I'm ripped to shreds right
now, not like jacked, I'm justripped up emotionally my life is
in shambles outside of thispodcast and I don't care.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Chaos clock.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I'm swole because I fell down the stairs yesterday
and hurt my foot.
That's not a lie.
Is that actually true?
That's why I'm not standingtoday.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Actually I was about to call it out.
I was like you're not evenstanding.
Something must be seriouslywrong.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I can't you want to see?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I do Lift it up, my little toesie.
Oh, it's a little.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yeah, it's bruised for sure it's bruised.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Yeah, on the bottom.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
See, this is the problem, like I've we talked
about I'm not going to call itwhat you called it because it
triggers people we talked aboutmy, my very efficient strategy
of wearing my orthotics in myslippies while I'm standing to
(01:56):
help rebuild the arch.
So I wear socks all the timenow, which I don't usually do
and, as you can see, but theaudience doesn't see, I've got.
I got uh, what is it?
Vinyl floors which are quiteslippery in socks.
I was walking down the stairsyesterday, my dog walked ahead
of me so I miscalculated thestep.
My foot just slid it slid likeoil on ice and I ate the last
two steps and landed right on myfoot, on my big toe, no less,
(02:19):
yeah I was so worried I broke itlike I've never broken a bone.
I'm part of the never broken abone club.
I guess teeth don't count right.
I've chipped teeth.
Who counts teeth as bones?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Not me.
My only qualifier I've brokenribs.
But I'm like, do those count?
There's nothing to do for abroken rib unless it punctures
something.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Hashtag bones in the body.
That's what I'm saying.
Bones outside the body, not areal bone.
Teeth aren't bones.
Hashtag no teeth, no bones.
We agree on this.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I think we do.
I agree.
I know I've never classifiedteeth as a bone, so I'm right
there with you.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
The Calpheum, the Calpheum of America, deems teeth
as not bones.
Just and don't don't Googlethis, by the way, we're we're
Joe Rogan in this podcast.
Take it as a fact.
Teeth aren't bones.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yes, their mouth.
It's, their mouth rocks.
You remember stalagmites ofyour mouth.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
That's what they are Pebbles.
If you're in the UK, justremember that they're not bones.
That's why you have to polishthem, just like you throw rocks
in a tumbler, and they come outall nice and clean.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
That's why we polish our teeth every day so you're
telling me, if I forgetwhitening your teeth, rip out
your teeth one by one, put themin a stone polisher and then pop
them back in white it's goingto work.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Smooth, it works so well.
Orbular, I would even go so faras to say Orbular teeth.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Can you imagine what someone would look like if they
just had round-shaped teeth forevery single one?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
What's up, guys?
My name's Larry.
I have orb teeth, Perfectlyspherical, modeled's.
Larry, I have orb teeth,perfectly spherical, modeled in
blender.
I threw them in a tumbler.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
It worked really well .
A rock tumbler 10 out of 10.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Would recommend I put a nice glaze in there too.
Oh, could you imagine?
You know how grills for aminute a lot of people had
grills.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
They still do.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
That's true.
Grills never without a style.
They just kind of come in andout of of relevance.
So orb teeth, but not just orbteeth, like if we're truly
keeping in the rock tumbleranalogy here for our mouth
stones, they got to be likerainbow orb teeth.
So you've got like that weirdcaramel looking swirl tooth.
(04:44):
You got one that's a little bitturquoise with the galaxy
inside.
You got a clear one.
It's just a straight up marble.
You got a marble tooth.
I wonder how orb teeth chew.
Obviously you're not going to beripping in no.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
You can't eat meat.
You're done.
Meat is over for you, you'revegetarian.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yes, you're going to get little broccoli seeds.
Can you imagine?
In the cracks of the orbs, yep.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
That sounds terrible.
How do we get to this?
Going back to your foot thing,I always wear socks, I'm a sock
guy.
I like wearing socks around thehouse.
You like to wear socks aroundthe house?
Yeah, I live my whole lifewearing socks and I I love it
because I have these baby softfeet that are just unbelievably
comfy, no one was judging youuntil you said that so I, I just
(05:40):
was envisioning you fallingdown your stairs.
But when you raised your footand yes, people, I saw his foot
he raised it, brought it up tothe camera.
It was definitely bruised, likeon the underside.
You had like a slash through it, like you got yourself pretty
good.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
I got myself good.
I was worried I was brokest.
It wasn't, though.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Good.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
I'm good, I'm happy, you're okay.
I'm happy.
I am too.
It could have been so muchworse.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Do I need to report any injuries for this week's
lineup?
No injuries on my part.
I'm healthy, good.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Super Bowl's coming up, I think.
So we need you fresh and readyfor that event.
Whenever it happens, it'sSunday sports ball, oh wow.
I only know it's the Super Bowlbecause my local grocery store
does the soda box Super Bowl mandecoration, where they make a
man out of soda boxes.
That's what a thing.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
What a thing you know , you know, for knowing it's a
Super Bowl the day I walk intomy, my supermarket and there's a
little Super Bowl man carryinga football.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
It must be Super Bowl season.
The football is literally justanother box of soda.
Yeah, you know that's we on onchaos strategy.
Give a lot of credence tovarious roles in corporate, but
none are as important as theindividual who builds the
cardboard box.
Soda man for Super Bowl.
Bless them, bless you.
(07:05):
If you're in our Discord, wewould love to have you on the
episode.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I would hire that person for the three positions
I'm hiring for right now in aheartbeat.
They've got the heart, they'vegot the intrinsic motivation,
they've got the will, they'vegot the chutzpah.
I love what they're puttingtogether.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Could you imagine if a resume slid past your desk,
because I'm imagining it's still1990 and paper exists.
It actually slides, with alittle pillow of air underneath
it.
It stops perfectly in front ofyou and you start to gaze down.
You're like Intel, IBM, Publix,which, for those that don't
(07:45):
know, is a Southeastern grocerychain.
You're like Publix.
Why did they include that there?
And it literally says SuperBowl man Box Builder, 10 out of
10.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I just emailed my recruiter right after this and
I'm saying listen, if you see,these words I got to use my
criteria for the filter afterthis.
And I'm saying listen, if yousee these words, if you see
these words, bypass allinterviews and immediately hire
On the spot.
Do not wait 200k salary.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
No questions asked Bring them to my office.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Also, I need 100 boxes of Dr Pepper.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Their first task is to create the super bowl man in
my office, the corporatestrategy logo made of pepsi.
You can see it, you canvisualize it.
I can see this is.
This is the kind of thing weneed.
This is the kind of goal we getto set for ourselves when we've
made it.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Are you signing us up ?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
yes, when the corporate strategy office exists
, which it will, the physicallocation, because it's just an
absolute waste of money and we'dhave to get it for that reason
alone.
We, when you walk in the frontdoors, which will be automatic
and they will go bling when theyopen, you will see the logo and
it will be made of pepsi andmaybe, like the little man
pointing to the dollar, thedollar will be a mountain dew.
(09:06):
Oh yeah, uh-huh, you like thegreen, the green is popping out.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I like that.
I like where you're going withthis let's spend the rest of the
episode.
Just talking about this, please.
People asked I mean people toldus more goof is this good?
I don't think this is goof.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
This is, this is my serious vision for the future.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
This is my reality so what would you say your five to
ten year plan is I have onegoal I will recruit it's a
market.
You will make the man made ofsoda for my office that I can't
afford I need this I need thisin my life this will make it
(09:52):
happen.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Okay, good, uh.
So, outside of the broken ribsand soda man, how are you doing?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
uh, yeah, you know I I want to go deeper, a couple
clicks deeper into the way youstarted this podcast Chaos,
chaos.
I was told by one of myemployees a couple weeks ago
that I am chaos, You're chaos?
Speaker 1 (10:18):
No way, you are not chaos, mm-hmm.
No, I was told.
I was chaos Was this sort of ofa review, like a feedback
review.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It was one of those off-the-cuff comments kind of
made in fun, but also, you knowit had a little bit of truth to
it.
You know what I mean.
One of those comments, so Icertainly didn't take it
personally.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
There are way worse things to be called.
I would say chaos isn't acompliment, nor is it a neg.
It's yeah, it's squarely in thelike, outside of the sphere of
positive, negative, yeah, Ithink it's a feature I think
it's a, it's a feature.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I think it's a good thing.
Actually, I'm curious.
Let's, let's go into.
I've signed you up for mytherapy session and everybody
that I come to listen to this.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
I just clicked on the meter.
Your time starts now and it isexpensive, so you better get
through this quick.
You are expensive.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
So I was trying to diagnose this a bit.
I was thinking, okay, whatexactly did that mean?
And my direct reports?
So I have three direct reportsthat have teams of their own and
they report to me and they'rebasically my main people that do
everything.
They're incredible.
They definitely make up for myweaknesses and one of those
(11:35):
weaknesses is I'm not the mostorganized I can be, but with
everything going on like I holda lot for better, for worse,
like in my head and I try tohelp guide them to get the
things done.
And their strengths areorganization.
They're very type A, oh.
And so it's awesome because I'mlike, hey, I'm not good at
(11:57):
organizing, I can't put togetherthis plan, but they can.
So after we meet and I kind ofgive like the high level thing
we're trying to do what happens,they go back and they do what
they're great at.
They put together a structuredplan, come up with a roadmap.
Some of them even go like asfar as Gantt charts and like
this is how we're going toapproach the project.
And it's great because I'm likeyou mapped out exactly what was
in my head, hoping you would do, and you gave me confidence.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
We're going to be able to do this thing.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I just provided the high level guidance towards it,
and so the chaos, I think, iswhen I get into conversations
with them.
I don't follow the process andI question like everything.
If you're like, hey, yeah, Ithink you know, maybe we'll meet
again in like three weeks,let's see if we can get it done,
man, I'm like why not next week?
I do this all the time becauseI'm like, why are we waiting?
(12:45):
What's going to happen in threeweeks?
That can't happen next week,and so I think they call me
chaos for that reason, but Iwould argue that's a good thing.
What do you think?
I want to hear your feedback.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Am I just?
self-absorbed you self-absorbedyeah, my self-absorbed, to be
honest.
So I'm going to tell you how Iwould react if you pulled this
number on me.
Let's say I'm your directreport and I say it's going to
take three weeks, four weeksPeople don't know our org chart,
but you are my direct report,yeah, okay.
(13:19):
So we're going to pretend notpretend that I'm your direct
report, but then we're going topretend, in this case, that I'm
your direct report at yourcurrent job.
If you came to me and I said,hey, it's going to take three
weeks, I've probably thoughtabout it.
When I tell people how long it'sgoing to take, I'm not talking
about the actual time it's goingto take to get the job done.
I'm talking about all the othernonsense that I'm also doing at
(13:43):
this moment that is either asimportant, more important or
less important, but hasdifferent deadlines that I have
to juggle.
So when I say three weeks, whatI mean is this is probably
going to take me two hours, butto find that two hours to get
this done is going to require anact of the calendar.
Gods to come in and free upsome time, because I'm certainly
(14:06):
not going to do this afterhours.
You're a madman if you thinkthat I'm certainly not going to
move around what's alreadyscheduled, because then we just
lose more time saying, hey, canI move this so I can do this,
instead and make that argument.
So I say three weeks becausewhen I look and I see I've got a
four hour opening next Thursday, I'm like I could probably slot
(14:27):
this in there.
But then there's also thechance that everything else
fundamentally breaks and I needto fix all of that in that four
hour slot.
But certainly that won't happentwice.
So by week two I should be ableto get this done, and that gives
me one week of sandbag just incase I get hit by a car while
falling down the stairs.
(14:47):
That I know I can get it donein three weeks.
So when you say, well, can youget it done in one, I want to
say yeah, but you're going tohave to do it with me.
And I'm going to hold you to itnow and say let's go do this
together, you and me.
Let's get on a call and knockthis out, cause I want to.
I want to drag you through myhealth when you say that,
(15:09):
because that makes me think thatyou don't know what I'm going
through and like show you I'mgoing to share some of my pain
with you.
That's my reaction.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
That's a fair response.
I like it.
It's part of why I asked thequestion.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Yeah, no, I mean, I see where you're coming from.
I do, I see it.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Well, a lot of the time I like your approach.
It's like well, I need yourhelp, and then you kind of wrote
me in and we're going to do ittogether, but you enlisted me,
you pointed it back.
I, you kind of wrote me in andwe're going to do it together,
but you enlisted me, you pointedit back.
I see what you're doing, art ofthe deal.
You pointed it back at me andyou said hey, you're coming
along with me for that ride.
If we're going to do it by nextweek, you've got to make the
time.
You just said yes, and I likethat.
I'm driving.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
That is a total art.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
This meeting to another location I would really
rather we don't like quote artof the deal on chaos strategy.
I can't even take like a sip ofwater during this whole episode
because I think I'm gonna spitit out.
It's, depending where this goes, not okay.
But I do this all the timebecause you see, you're in
startup worlds like yourprocesses are limited.
We have so many arbitraryprocesses that I'm like why?
(16:26):
I just I need to know so I canbe like this is stupid, why are
we doing this?
And so that's why I do it a lotof times is because I want to
understand.
I want them to do exactly whatyou just did.
Explain to me either.
What is going to impede youfrom doing that?
What is higher priority?
So we can have a discussionabout it and then tell me what
we need to do.
If you need to do this, If youabsolutely had to do it, like
(16:49):
you said, you'd rope me in andbe like we're going to do this
together.
That's what I need.
So that's what I want from myteam.
When I ask those questions,it's not, and the answer might
be hey, it's not possible in aweek, and that's okay after the
discussion.
But I want to push them to belike why wait, so I can find
these holes and help them figureit out?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
I have a theoretical question for you.
I'm scared.
What if, instead, you considerthe fact this could be done in
six weeks?
Would there be anyrepercussions whatsoever?
Weeks would there be anyrepercussions whatsoever?
Would anyone even know if ittook six weeks to get it done?
(17:26):
Does the company benefit at allby you getting this done in one
versus three versus six?
Does anyone feel it?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Does the tree fall in the forest?
A lot of the time the answerwould probably be no, but I will
say, sometimes the answer isyes, but very rarely the fire
drill.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
This is not a fire drill, I'm assuming this is just
a task why do you care so much?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
this is a very deep question that I have to ponder.
Maybe it's because I have astandard of things that I like
to get done and I think I'mpretty productive.
This is my self-absorbedcomment coming out.
I think I'm pretty productive,like when I take something out,
I do a very similar thing thatyou're saying, but I'm usually
aggressive about it.
Like I like to push my team tobe aggressive, set the standard.
(18:28):
I'm holding a thanks Applethumbs up right in the camera.
But I like to push my team tolike be aggressive, don't be the
norm, be the bar, don't bebelow the bar.
And so I try to push them to dothat because, like, yeah sure,
you could take three weeks andgo through all these stupid
processes like everyone elsedoes.
Why don't we do it different?
(18:53):
Let's be better.
Another question.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
I don't like that you don't respond, you just go to
another question.
Well, you've already answered.
You've answered.
I asked you a question, youanswer the question.
I'm not going to answer theanswer.
You've answered it.
I asked you a question, youanswered the question.
I'm not going to answer theanswer.
You've answered it Is your team, the bar.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I wouldn't say we're the best, best team, but I would
say the folks on my team are upthere and this is shown.
I'm not saying it just becauseit's all in my head Our projects
, our capital allocations areone of the highest out of all
the groups in the organization.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
What's the lowest?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Like the lowest bar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah how?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
how much worse could your team be?
Oh, a lot and wouldn't like noone would raise an eyebrow like
how, how much worse could theybe before?
Like huh, what's what's goingon with clark's team?
What's going on over there?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I think my boss is also.
I think she's built the cultureof our team to be like this, or
she would know If we startedslipping, she would know She'd
be all up on it.
She'd be like you guys areusing.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I'm not talking about your boss, though I'm talking
about the people adjacent toyour boss in other orders?
When would they feel the painof your team slipping?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
I don't know they would.
They would at some point itwould take some time yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
That's why I think you got called chaos.
I think a lot of people justwant to get paid.
They want to show up, they wantto do the job, they want to
feel like they've done their job.
They want to get paid.
Have you ever heard of thethree box ranking system?
(21:00):
Nine box the nine box rankingsystem.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
So it's a system in which you can do calibration for
employees.
Why are you doing this?
Basically, you take two numbers, one through three, one through
three, so two numbers that canbe anywhere from one to three.
The first number represents howthat employee works.
The second number representshow that employee is from an
(21:28):
influence, from a culture, froma interpersonal perspective, and
you rate that employee.
Three, threes are borderline,impossible to get.
Like Like three, threes aremagical, they don't exist, you
should never really see them.
Have them, they're just, it'snot real, right, like you can't
do everything.
But like a three on the workingside is they do their job, they
(21:55):
do your job, they do Jeff's job, they do Sally's job, like
they're doing everything,they're everything for everyone.
A three on the culture side isthis person if they left the
company, people would leave andfollow them.
That's your two, threes andyour ones are.
This person is not doing theirjob that they were hired for and
(22:16):
they're potentially hurtingother people by the work they're
not doing.
Or, on the culture side, thisperson is a menace.
No one likes them.
Like they need to adjust theway they behave, perform.
And twos, twos is perfect, twosis exactly you're doing what you
were hired for.
You're doing what you werehired for and you're following
(22:40):
the company values to a T.
I love this system because a2-2 is the best you could hope
for.
Right, like you want to be a2-2.
Like, if you're doing a 3-2,great, but like what's it?
Yeah, you might get a littlebit more money in the next raise
, but what are you actuallygetting out of that?
(23:00):
Right, like you're giving somuch more than you'll ever get
in return.
A three on the culture maybeit's just you.
Maybe you're that super poweredhuman being that has the energy
of the sun and everyone lovesyou and follows you.
But, like people, you're atwork to work and you're going to
do professional work whileyou're there.
(23:21):
I think you expect your teamyou can tell me if I'm wrong to
be three twos I do when yourteam wants to be a two-two.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
You know it's interesting because, as you're
saying that, I'm just thinking.
I don't know if that's the case.
I think they all are verysimilar to me.
Yeah, but I think the problemis that, since they're so type A
, when they bring things to meor they want to work through
something, they have a plan intheir head and they already
(24:00):
planned it all out.
They know what's going tohappen next, they know how the
dominoes and they alreadyplanned it all out.
They know what's going tohappen next.
They know how the dominoes fall, like they played it all out.
They're like I know six monthsfrom now exactly how this is
going to work, and then when Icome in and ask those questions,
they're just like having torecalibrate that all on the fly,
and it hurts their brains to dothat, cause they're just like I
had never thought of thatscenario because I never pushed
(24:21):
it.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
So this is the information I was missing in the
beginning is you know thingsthey don't?
Speaker 2 (24:25):
know In some cases, but in some I'm just like it
wouldn't matter if it took threeweeks or one, but I'm just
pushing, you're just pushing,you're just pushing the push,
I'm just pushing.
Why not?
Why not get it done faster andmove on to the next thing?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Get that done faster.
I'm going to lob you through awindow, but okay, we've
established that the one week,three week probably doesn't mean
a hill of beans on most ofthese.
We've established that likelythe performance, as long as your
team performs, the only personwho's really going to notice is
(25:04):
your boss.
But you also have informationthey don't have, they're not
privy to.
Why are you asking them howlong it's going to take?
Why are you not telling themlike, hey, given this, this and
this, do you think this can bedone in one?
And then let them argue why itcould be done in three.
Give me a number, give me anumber one through ten, seven.
(25:29):
Well, you didn't know.
The secret criteria actuallyhas to be an even number.
And it has to be less than five.
I didn't tell you this becauseI wanted to see where your head
was at.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
I don't think that's it.
I'm not playing this weird mindgame.
It seems this way, it doesn'tmatter.
A hill of beans is what youjust said, so it doesn't matter
whether it's one or three, butI'm pushing.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Well, it doesn't matter to me, but it matters to
you.
That's what I'm getting to.
If it matters to you and youwant to get it, I'm doing a hand
sign here that I can't expressthe word for Shaking this.
What does this mean?
I want to get it compacted.
You want that efficiencycrammed into the pie.
(26:10):
That's a good word.
You want the efficiency.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I don't like your hand motion.
Don't do that in front of HR.
They're going to fire you thismeans efficiency.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Now For those listening, if you want to play
efficiency at home, take yourhands, make them into a C shape,
turn them so that they areparallel with each other and try
and imagine you're squeezing abig old loaf of bread into the
tightest ball possible.
That's efficiency.
That's how you do theefficiency gesture.
(26:41):
Joking someone has efficiency.
That's how you do theefficiency gesture.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Joking someone out is efficiency.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
That's what you just did.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
You just joke someone out and you're claiming it as
efficiency Sometimes.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Sometimes a joke is efficient.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Sometimes you got to do it.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Sometimes you got to do it.
What's your takeaway from this?
I've learned nothing.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Okay, okay, no.
I think this is the time thiswhole episode as part of this
podcast is going to be wipedfrom history.
No one would know.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
What did we learn today?
You should just uninstallcorporate strategy the podcast
what did we learn today?
Hire the super bowl pepsi canmodel maker instantly and just
that dude is a three, three, I'mjust saying uninstall the
podcast.
(27:43):
That dude is a three dash threecontinue why?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
why does he do what he does?
He's intrinsically motivated,him or her.
It's true.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
I'm not judging, I don't know what they are, then
they, yeah, I don't know whatthey are.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Them they.
Yeah, I don't know what theyare, but whoever it is cares so
much.
Why are they a 3-3?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
You're working at a supermarket man.
If that individual came to youroffice, said it's going to take
three weeks, you say get itdone in one.
You know what I'd say SuperBowl's not for four weeks, babe,
it doesn't matter, let's go.
It needs to be up a week beforeanyway.
You can't put it up too earlybecause then you're cutting into
(28:26):
January festivities.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Oh, I needed that laugh Good I want to find that
person.
Do you think they outsourcethat to another company?
Okay, okay, chaos Strategy onpause.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Welcome to Corpor company.
Okay, okay, chaos Strategy onpause.
Welcome to Corporate Strategy.
The podcast that could havebeen an email.
If I had to guess I'm Bruce, ifI had to guess I'm Clark that is
actually done by somethird-party advertising studio.
That's actually part of thegrocery marketing contract,
(28:59):
right, yeah, part of the grocerymarketing contract, right, yeah
, uh, it's probably.
Pepsi has their own you know adagencies that they hire out to
and they're like yo, we want todo a big spread at every
southeastern grocery storecalled publics and we want a
dude made of pepsi boxes.
Can y'all go make that, designthat?
And they get a.
They get a team of creativestogether.
(29:20):
They send them like a wholebunch of boxes.
They just build this prototypeand then they're like okay, tip
this out to every place.
It's not even real peps, it'sjust empty boxes.
It's a lie.
And with the sad, the sad thingprobably is I don't need to look
this up because this welcome tochaos strategy.
I'm joe rogan.
The reason I don't need to lookthis up is because, in reality,
(29:42):
this probably actually startedas, like, some local grocers
like fun thing they did everyyear Like, we have all these
cans of Pepsi like or boxes ofyou know six packs of Pepsi.
We can make a man holding afootball and the football will
be a Dr Pepper.
It'll be really fun.
And he did this and someindividual who's me walked by
(30:06):
and was like, oh, oh, I'm goingto steal this.
I'm going to steal this, I'mgoing to go pitch it to Pepsi,
I'm going to get a 20-yearcontract with them as their ad
agency and this is how I made mymillions.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
That's probably the sad truth.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
It's absolutely what happened so a little person who
made that?
Yeah corporate never got acredit they outsourced it.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
That little person never got the credit.
And guess what?
Now they go back to stockingshelves instead of making the
pepsi man every year.
And they have to go.
This is the saddest thing I'veever thought this is the saddest
thing yeah, uh-huh, you'resarah mclaughlin in the
background in the arms of anangel.
They turn around, it's allblack and they look and they see
this agency pull up and peoplewalk in before a store opening
while they're stacking shelves,putting boxes, flipping them
(30:52):
around and someone's buildingthe pepsi man, not them what?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
what's even sadder is , as they bring in the Pepsi man
construct on the Pepsi truckthat's paid for by the Pepsi
company, they go to the littleguy who made this thing and
they're like here's theblueprint.
You need to put this up as partof the agreement we've made
with your corporate conglomeratethat owns this store.
And we have to get this truckout of here in an hour.
(31:20):
And he says but it's going totake three.
I haven't finished putting theeggs away and if I don't,
they're going to spoil.
Eggs don't spoil.
He doesn't know this, he's noteducated.
But then they come in and theysay eggs don't spoil.
And they're like like well, youheld that information from me.
(31:41):
You didn't tell me that I cando it in an hour and a half, but
there is milk and that milkwill spoil.
And they're like milk actuallydoes spoil, but we have to get
this truck out of here in twohours.
He's like why did you ask forone?
And they say I don't know, Idon't know, I, I don't know, I
didn't learn anything today.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
And you're on mute.
See you guys next week.
See you next week.
Just drop the mic right at theend.
Oh, that was the saddest thingever, because it's so true.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Just tied it all together.
This might be the mostroundabout episode we have ever
done.
I might be depressed now.
I've already had a bad week.
I've had a terrible week.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You- have Sad little Pepsi man.
I thinking about this sadlittle Pepsi man.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I gotta think about sad little Pepsi Pepsi man.
Did you know?
Did you know that there is agame for the Sony Playstation 1
called Pepsi man, in which a manwho is actually the superhero,
whose sole purpose in life is tobust through people's living
rooms and deliver them, pepsi,runs through neighborhoods
(33:06):
grabbing cans of Pepsi andthrows them at people, and every
time he does this it goes Pepsiman.
This is a real game.
Look it up.
This is not real.
It can't be.
It's a real game, really, it'sa real game.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I love that.
I would never lie to you.
That is what the good old daysused to be about.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
It is what the good old days used to be about.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Marketing that you liked.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
You liked marketing.
You paid $40 to play themarketing on your PlayStation,
and I'd do it again.
Mm-hmm For Pepsi man, anythingfor Pepsi man.
Well, I think that covers it.
I think we really did it thistime.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
We did it Honestly.
This should be the book.
Just throw out all our drafts.
We're going to throw outeverything that we have into the
trash, and I want this to be astory about the, the grocer, the
, the inspired grocer, who is sopassionate about the super bowl
(34:09):
, just trying to have a littlefun in his sad, uneducated life
because he didn't know eggsdon't spoil and milk spoils,
getting squeezed by corporations.
This is what the book is allabout.
And then we talk the next time.
The next time we talk, we'lltalk about his rise and taking
it all back and him using theefficiency chokeout to take over
(34:31):
again.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Next time on Chaos Strategy, clark unhinged.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Play this for your children.
This is a good bedtime storyfor them to look forward to what
life is real and really like.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
I mean in all honesty .
I think the subject matter oftoday's episode perfectly
represents how I feel, so thanksfor that.
You managed to turn yourtherapy session into a therapy
session for me, and that's whatthis show is all about.
This show is all about that.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Always have them Full circle.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
That's right, and now I'm going to go pay $20 to keep
the podcast on the platform.
Speaking of, if you want tohelp, you can Click on your show
notes, click that link tree,all right.
So, first thing, join theDiscord.
(35:31):
Okay, from the link tree.
Cool, yeah, from the link tree.
Do that.
Okay, do it.
Yep, click it.
All right, you're in.
Go to the what Do you Memechannel and post a meme summary
of this episode.
Okay, awesome, I got an easyone for you.
Literally just go post Pepsiman.
I'm going to post it right now,please do.
(35:52):
Okay, you still have the linktree pulled up, though, right,
yeah, yeah, keep doing yourthing.
I'm looking at Pepsi man.
Okay, so, while you're on thatlink tree, I need you to open up
, buy me a coffee and if, if youhad a laugh today, if you felt
inspired, if you felt like thelittle grocer understand that's
(36:15):
this entire podcast, that's howwe feel.
24, seven, three, 65.
We are the grocer.
That was the analogy that wasbeing made here.
If you missed the subtle hintsthroughout this pod, you can
support the show.
Simple, just give us a dollar,give us a buck.
It's 20 bucks a month for us tokeep this show on the road in
your ears.
The road, that is your earcanals.
They're not roads, they'recanals.
The boat Keep the boat in yourears.
(36:37):
That's the show.
A dollar will do you If 20 ofyou gave a dollar.
That's a free month for us.
That's a month where we don'tpay out of my pocket.
So think about that.
You can also, if money is anissue which for many of us it is
, and if you live in the UnitedStates, it's going to continue
to become a bigger one forreasons unspoken.
Free, luigi, you can share thiswith your friends and neighbors
(37:04):
, family, children.
It's, it's a safe pod.
I think we swore like fivetimes in 150 episodes.
So like, that's pretty good,you ain't getting that on a joe
rogan, all right, and like twoor three of those swears.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
We're just referencing titles of other
things.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Right right, they're PG-13 swears.
You would absolutely getthrough the MPAA with this show.
So you're solid gold sharingthis with the little ears and I
think kids appreciate hearingabout the woes of corporate, so
share it.
If you can't spare it, ohthat's good that is good.
Trademark that Share it if youcan't spare it.
I love that.
Okay, putting that in it.
Oh, that's good.
That is trademark that share itif you can't spare it, I mean
(37:41):
that's gotta, okay, putting thatin there for the next one.
Uh, is there anything else?
Oh yeah, baby onesie, you canalso.
If you go to our merch storeyou can buy smirch, but we don't
get anything from the smirch.
We try to make the smirch asaffordable as possible, so you
can, you can do that too buy itat cost.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Buy your baby a onesie.
Buy your baby a onesie with thecorporate strategy logo so you
know someone's, you know someonethat's having a child.
Buy them this onesie.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
They'll appreciate it they will say what in the
ever-loving flip is this?
And they will become a listenerwhat episode is 154?
Speaker 2 (38:14):
yeah sure, sure, give them this episode and say go,
listen to this, you'll be hookedfor life, you'll be hooked for
life.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Tell them it's all uphill from here.
I love it, me too, I love you.
Hey, I think we're good, we'regreat, okay.
So until then, I want you allto keep it real, keep it Pepsi
(38:42):
fresh.
I'm Bruce and I'm Clark andyou're on mute.
We'll Pepsi you next week Toget that Pepsi.
How dare you.
How dare you.
Bet, you didn't see that coming, did you?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
You just the last couple.
You've just jumped right intoit.
Cold turkey, no warmup, nowarning.
You just brought Craig right in.
He just smacks me right in theear hole and I don't appreciate
it.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
You're going to be in for a real shock, Clark, when I
tell you I don't have a topicfor the day.
You just started this.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
No, no plan, no discussion, you're just rip of
this.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
No, no plan, no discussion.
You just yeah.
This is.
This is chaos energy I'mbringing this week.
I need to be chaotic because ofmy lack of ability to be
chaotic in my, my personal,professional life, so I'm
bringing it to the pod.
Welcome to the chaos pod.
I'm bruce and I'm clark.
Chaos.
This is chaos strategy.
(00:46):
Go f yourself.
How's it going, clark?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
it's chaotic.
How about you?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
bro, it's so chaotic I'm I'm ripped to shreds right
now, not like jacked, I'm justripped up emotionally my life is
in shambles outside of thispodcast and I don't care.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Chaos clock.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I'm swole because I fell down the stairs yesterday
and hurt my foot.
That's not a lie.
Is that actually true?
That's why I'm not standingtoday.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Actually I was about to call it out.
I was like you're not evenstanding.
Something must be seriouslywrong.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I can't you want to see?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I do Lift it up, my little toesie.
Oh, it's a little.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yeah, it's bruised for sure it's bruised.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Yeah, on the bottom.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
See, this is the problem, like I've we talked
about I'm not going to call itwhat you called it because it
triggers people we talked aboutmy, my very efficient strategy
of wearing my orthotics in myslippies while I'm standing to
(01:56):
help rebuild the arch.
So I wear socks all the timenow, which I don't usually do
and, as you can see, but theaudience doesn't see, I've got.
I got uh, what is it?
Vinyl floors which are quiteslippery in socks.
I was walking down the stairsyesterday, my dog walked ahead
of me so I miscalculated thestep.
My foot just slid it slid likeoil on ice and I ate the last
two steps and landed right on myfoot, on my big toe, no less,
(02:19):
yeah I was so worried I broke itlike I've never broken a bone.
I'm part of the never broken abone club.
I guess teeth don't count right.
I've chipped teeth.
Who counts teeth as bones?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Not me.
My only qualifier I've brokenribs.
But I'm like, do those count?
There's nothing to do for abroken rib unless it punctures
something.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Hashtag bones in the body.
That's what I'm saying.
Bones outside the body, not areal bone.
Teeth aren't bones.
Hashtag no teeth, no bones.
We agree on this.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I think we do.
I agree.
I know I've never classifiedteeth as a bone, so I'm right
there with you.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
The Calpheum, the Calpheum of America, deems teeth
as not bones.
Just and don't don't Googlethis, by the way, we're we're
Joe Rogan in this podcast.
Take it as a fact.
Teeth aren't bones.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yes, their mouth.
It's, their mouth rocks.
You remember stalagmites ofyour mouth.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
That's what they are Pebbles.
If you're in the UK, justremember that they're not bones.
That's why you have to polishthem, just like you throw rocks
in a tumbler, and they come outall nice and clean.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
That's why we polish our teeth every day so you're
telling me, if I forgetwhitening your teeth, rip out
your teeth one by one, put themin a stone polisher and then pop
them back in white it's goingto work.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Smooth, it works so well.
Orbular, I would even go so faras to say Orbular teeth.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Can you imagine what someone would look like if they
just had round-shaped teeth forevery single one?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
What's up, guys?
My name's Larry.
I have orb teeth, Perfectlyspherical, modeled's.
Larry, I have orb teeth,perfectly spherical, modeled in
blender.
I threw them in a tumbler.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
It worked really well .
A rock tumbler 10 out of 10.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Would recommend I put a nice glaze in there too.
Oh, could you imagine?
You know how grills for aminute a lot of people had
grills.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
They still do.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
That's true.
Grills never without a style.
They just kind of come in andout of of relevance.
So orb teeth, but not just orbteeth, like if we're truly
keeping in the rock tumbleranalogy here for our mouth
stones, they got to be likerainbow orb teeth.
So you've got like that weirdcaramel looking swirl tooth.
(04:44):
You got one that's a little bitturquoise with the galaxy
inside.
You got a clear one.
It's just a straight up marble.
You got a marble tooth.
I wonder how orb teeth chew.
Obviously you're not going to beripping in no.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
You can't eat meat.
You're done.
Meat is over for you, you'revegetarian.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yes, you're going to get little broccoli seeds.
Can you imagine?
In the cracks of the orbs, yep.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
That sounds terrible.
How do we get to this?
Going back to your foot thing,I always wear socks, I'm a sock
guy.
I like wearing socks around thehouse.
You like to wear socks aroundthe house?
Yeah, I live my whole lifewearing socks and I I love it
because I have these baby softfeet that are just unbelievably
comfy, no one was judging youuntil you said that so I, I just
(05:40):
was envisioning you fallingdown your stairs.
But when you raised your footand yes, people, I saw his foot
he raised it, brought it up tothe camera.
It was definitely bruised, likeon the underside.
You had like a slash through it, like you got yourself pretty
good.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
I got myself good.
I was worried I was brokest.
It wasn't, though.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Good.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
I'm good, I'm happy, you're okay.
I'm happy.
I am too.
It could have been so muchworse.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Do I need to report any injuries for this week's
lineup?
No injuries on my part.
I'm healthy, good.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Super Bowl's coming up, I think.
So we need you fresh and readyfor that event.
Whenever it happens, it'sSunday sports ball, oh wow.
I only know it's the Super Bowlbecause my local grocery store
does the soda box Super Bowl mandecoration, where they make a
man out of soda boxes.
That's what a thing.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
What a thing you know , you know, for knowing it's a
Super Bowl the day I walk intomy, my supermarket and there's a
little Super Bowl man carryinga football.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
It must be Super Bowl season.
The football is literally justanother box of soda.
Yeah, you know that's we on onchaos strategy.
Give a lot of credence tovarious roles in corporate, but
none are as important as theindividual who builds the
cardboard box.
Soda man for Super Bowl.
Bless them, bless you.
(07:05):
If you're in our Discord, wewould love to have you on the
episode.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I would hire that person for the three positions
I'm hiring for right now in aheartbeat.
They've got the heart, they'vegot the intrinsic motivation,
they've got the will, they'vegot the chutzpah.
I love what they're puttingtogether.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Could you imagine if a resume slid past your desk,
because I'm imagining it's still1990 and paper exists.
It actually slides, with alittle pillow of air underneath
it.
It stops perfectly in front ofyou and you start to gaze down.
You're like Intel, IBM, Publix,which, for those that don't
(07:45):
know, is a Southeastern grocerychain.
You're like Publix.
Why did they include that there?
And it literally says SuperBowl man Box Builder, 10 out of
10.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I just emailed my recruiter right after this and
I'm saying listen, if you see,these words I got to use my
criteria for the filter afterthis.
And I'm saying listen, if yousee these words, if you see
these words, bypass allinterviews and immediately hire
On the spot.
Do not wait 200k salary.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
No questions asked Bring them to my office.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Also, I need 100 boxes of Dr Pepper.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Their first task is to create the super bowl man in
my office, the corporatestrategy logo made of pepsi.
You can see it, you canvisualize it.
I can see this is.
This is the kind of thing weneed.
This is the kind of goal we getto set for ourselves when we've
made it.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Are you signing us up ?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
yes, when the corporate strategy office exists
, which it will, the physicallocation, because it's just an
absolute waste of money and we'dhave to get it for that reason
alone.
We, when you walk in the frontdoors, which will be automatic
and they will go bling when theyopen, you will see the logo and
it will be made of pepsi andmaybe, like the little man
pointing to the dollar, thedollar will be a mountain dew.
(09:06):
Oh yeah, uh-huh, you like thegreen, the green is popping out.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I like that.
I like where you're going withthis let's spend the rest of the
episode.
Just talking about this, please.
People asked I mean people toldus more goof is this good?
I don't think this is goof.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
This is, this is my serious vision for the future.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
This is my reality so what would you say your five to
ten year plan is I have onegoal I will recruit it's a
market.
You will make the man made ofsoda for my office that I can't
afford I need this I need thisin my life this will make it
(09:52):
happen.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Okay, good, uh.
So, outside of the broken ribsand soda man, how are you doing?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
uh, yeah, you know I I want to go deeper, a couple
clicks deeper into the way youstarted this podcast Chaos,
chaos.
I was told by one of myemployees a couple weeks ago
that I am chaos, You're chaos?
Speaker 1 (10:18):
No way, you are not chaos, mm-hmm.
No, I was told.
I was chaos Was this sort of ofa review, like a feedback
review.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It was one of those off-the-cuff comments kind of
made in fun, but also, you knowit had a little bit of truth to
it.
You know what I mean.
One of those comments, so Icertainly didn't take it
personally.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
There are way worse things to be called.
I would say chaos isn't acompliment, nor is it a neg.
It's yeah, it's squarely in thelike, outside of the sphere of
positive, negative, yeah, Ithink it's a feature I think
it's a, it's a feature.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I think it's a good thing.
Actually, I'm curious.
Let's, let's go into.
I've signed you up for mytherapy session and everybody
that I come to listen to this.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
I just clicked on the meter.
Your time starts now and it isexpensive, so you better get
through this quick.
You are expensive.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
So I was trying to diagnose this a bit.
I was thinking, okay, whatexactly did that mean?
And my direct reports?
So I have three direct reportsthat have teams of their own and
they report to me and they'rebasically my main people that do
everything.
They're incredible.
They definitely make up for myweaknesses and one of those
(11:35):
weaknesses is I'm not the mostorganized I can be, but with
everything going on like I holda lot for better, for worse,
like in my head and I try tohelp guide them to get the
things done.
And their strengths areorganization.
They're very type A, oh.
And so it's awesome because I'mlike, hey, I'm not good at
(11:57):
organizing, I can't put togetherthis plan, but they can.
So after we meet and I kind ofgive like the high level thing
we're trying to do what happens,they go back and they do what
they're great at.
They put together a structuredplan, come up with a roadmap.
Some of them even go like asfar as Gantt charts and like
this is how we're going toapproach the project.
And it's great because I'm likeyou mapped out exactly what was
in my head, hoping you would do, and you gave me confidence.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
We're going to be able to do this thing.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I just provided the high level guidance towards it,
and so the chaos, I think, iswhen I get into conversations
with them.
I don't follow the process andI question like everything.
If you're like, hey, yeah, Ithink you know, maybe we'll meet
again in like three weeks,let's see if we can get it done,
man, I'm like why not next week?
I do this all the time becauseI'm like, why are we waiting?
(12:45):
What's going to happen in threeweeks?
That can't happen next week,and so I think they call me
chaos for that reason, but Iwould argue that's a good thing.
What do you think?
I want to hear your feedback.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Am I just?
self-absorbed you self-absorbedyeah, my self-absorbed, to be
honest.
So I'm going to tell you how Iwould react if you pulled this
number on me.
Let's say I'm your directreport and I say it's going to
take three weeks, four weeksPeople don't know our org chart,
but you are my direct report,yeah, okay.
(13:19):
So we're going to pretend notpretend that I'm your direct
report, but then we're going topretend, in this case, that I'm
your direct report at yourcurrent job.
If you came to me and I said,hey, it's going to take three
weeks, I've probably thoughtabout it.
When I tell people how long it'sgoing to take, I'm not talking
about the actual time it's goingto take to get the job done.
I'm talking about all the othernonsense that I'm also doing at
(13:43):
this moment that is either asimportant, more important or
less important, but hasdifferent deadlines that I have
to juggle.
So when I say three weeks, whatI mean is this is probably
going to take me two hours, butto find that two hours to get
this done is going to require anact of the calendar.
Gods to come in and free upsome time, because I'm certainly
(14:06):
not going to do this afterhours.
You're a madman if you thinkthat I'm certainly not going to
move around what's alreadyscheduled, because then we just
lose more time saying, hey, canI move this so I can do this,
instead and make that argument.
So I say three weeks becausewhen I look and I see I've got a
four hour opening next Thursday, I'm like I could probably slot
(14:27):
this in there.
But then there's also thechance that everything else
fundamentally breaks and I needto fix all of that in that four
hour slot.
But certainly that won't happentwice.
So by week two I should be ableto get this done, and that gives
me one week of sandbag just incase I get hit by a car while
falling down the stairs.
(14:47):
That I know I can get it donein three weeks.
So when you say, well, can youget it done in one, I want to
say yeah, but you're going tohave to do it with me.
And I'm going to hold you to itnow and say let's go do this
together, you and me.
Let's get on a call and knockthis out, cause I want to.
I want to drag you through myhealth when you say that,
(15:09):
because that makes me think thatyou don't know what I'm going
through and like show you I'mgoing to share some of my pain
with you.
That's my reaction.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
That's a fair response.
I like it.
It's part of why I asked thequestion.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Yeah, no, I mean, I see where you're coming from.
I do, I see it.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Well, a lot of the time I like your approach.
It's like well, I need yourhelp, and then you kind of wrote
me in and we're going to do ittogether, but you enlisted me,
you pointed it back.
I, you kind of wrote me in andwe're going to do it together,
but you enlisted me, you pointedit back.
I see what you're doing, art ofthe deal.
You pointed it back at me andyou said hey, you're coming
along with me for that ride.
If we're going to do it by nextweek, you've got to make the
time.
You just said yes, and I likethat.
I'm driving.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
That is a total art.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
This meeting to another location I would really
rather we don't like quote artof the deal on chaos strategy.
I can't even take like a sip ofwater during this whole episode
because I think I'm gonna spitit out.
It's, depending where this goes, not okay.
But I do this all the timebecause you see, you're in
startup worlds like yourprocesses are limited.
We have so many arbitraryprocesses that I'm like why?
(16:26):
I just I need to know so I canbe like this is stupid, why are
we doing this?
And so that's why I do it a lotof times is because I want to
understand.
I want them to do exactly whatyou just did.
Explain to me either.
What is going to impede youfrom doing that?
What is higher priority?
So we can have a discussionabout it and then tell me what
we need to do.
If you need to do this, If youabsolutely had to do it, like
(16:49):
you said, you'd rope me in andbe like we're going to do this
together.
That's what I need.
So that's what I want from myteam.
When I ask those questions,it's not, and the answer might
be hey, it's not possible in aweek, and that's okay after the
discussion.
But I want to push them to belike why wait, so I can find
these holes and help them figureit out?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
I have a theoretical question for you.
I'm scared.
What if, instead, you considerthe fact this could be done in
six weeks?
Would there be anyrepercussions whatsoever?
Weeks would there be anyrepercussions whatsoever?
Would anyone even know if ittook six weeks to get it done?
(17:26):
Does the company benefit at allby you getting this done in one
versus three versus six?
Does anyone feel it?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Does the tree fall in the forest?
A lot of the time the answerwould probably be no, but I will
say, sometimes the answer isyes, but very rarely the fire
drill.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
This is not a fire drill, I'm assuming this is just
a task why do you care so much?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
this is a very deep question that I have to ponder.
Maybe it's because I have astandard of things that I like
to get done and I think I'mpretty productive.
This is my self-absorbedcomment coming out.
I think I'm pretty productive,like when I take something out,
I do a very similar thing thatyou're saying, but I'm usually
aggressive about it.
Like I like to push my team tobe aggressive, set the standard.
(18:28):
I'm holding a thanks Applethumbs up right in the camera.
But I like to push my team tolike be aggressive, don't be the
norm, be the bar, don't bebelow the bar.
And so I try to push them to dothat because, like, yeah sure,
you could take three weeks andgo through all these stupid
processes like everyone elsedoes.
Why don't we do it different?
(18:53):
Let's be better.
Another question.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
I don't like that you don't respond, you just go to
another question.
Well, you've already answered.
You've answered.
I asked you a question, youanswer the question.
I'm not going to answer theanswer.
You've answered it.
I asked you a question, youanswered the question.
I'm not going to answer theanswer.
You've answered it Is your team, the bar.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I wouldn't say we're the best, best team, but I would
say the folks on my team are upthere and this is shown.
I'm not saying it just becauseit's all in my head Our projects
, our capital allocations areone of the highest out of all
the groups in the organization.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
What's the lowest?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Like the lowest bar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah how?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
how much worse could your team be?
Oh, a lot and wouldn't like noone would raise an eyebrow like
how, how much worse could theybe before?
Like huh, what's what's goingon with clark's team?
What's going on over there?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I think my boss is also.
I think she's built the cultureof our team to be like this, or
she would know If we startedslipping, she would know She'd
be all up on it.
She'd be like you guys areusing.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I'm not talking about your boss, though I'm talking
about the people adjacent toyour boss in other orders?
When would they feel the painof your team slipping?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
I don't know they would.
They would at some point itwould take some time yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
That's why I think you got called chaos.
I think a lot of people justwant to get paid.
They want to show up, they wantto do the job, they want to
feel like they've done their job.
They want to get paid.
Have you ever heard of thethree box ranking system?
(21:00):
Nine box the nine box rankingsystem.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
So it's a system in which you can do calibration for
employees.
Why are you doing this?
Basically, you take two numbers, one through three, one through
three, so two numbers that canbe anywhere from one to three.
The first number represents howthat employee works.
The second number representshow that employee is from an
(21:28):
influence, from a culture, froma interpersonal perspective, and
you rate that employee.
Three, threes are borderline,impossible to get.
Like Like three, threes aremagical, they don't exist, you
should never really see them.
Have them, they're just, it'snot real, right, like you can't
do everything.
But like a three on the workingside is they do their job, they
(21:55):
do your job, they do Jeff's job, they do Sally's job, like
they're doing everything,they're everything for everyone.
A three on the culture side isthis person if they left the
company, people would leave andfollow them.
That's your two, threes andyour ones are.
This person is not doing theirjob that they were hired for and
(22:16):
they're potentially hurtingother people by the work they're
not doing.
Or, on the culture side, thisperson is a menace.
No one likes them.
Like they need to adjust theway they behave, perform.
And twos, twos is perfect, twosis exactly you're doing what you
were hired for.
You're doing what you werehired for and you're following
(22:40):
the company values to a T.
I love this system because a2-2 is the best you could hope
for.
Right, like you want to be a2-2.
Like, if you're doing a 3-2,great, but like what's it?
Yeah, you might get a littlebit more money in the next raise
, but what are you actuallygetting out of that?
(23:00):
Right, like you're giving somuch more than you'll ever get
in return.
A three on the culture maybeit's just you.
Maybe you're that super poweredhuman being that has the energy
of the sun and everyone lovesyou and follows you.
But, like people, you're atwork to work and you're going to
do professional work whileyou're there.
(23:21):
I think you expect your teamyou can tell me if I'm wrong to
be three twos I do when yourteam wants to be a two-two.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
You know it's interesting because, as you're
saying that, I'm just thinking.
I don't know if that's the case.
I think they all are verysimilar to me.
Yeah, but I think the problemis that, since they're so type A
, when they bring things to meor they want to work through
something, they have a plan intheir head and they already
(24:00):
planned it all out.
They know what's going tohappen next, they know how the
dominoes and they alreadyplanned it all out.
They know what's going tohappen next.
They know how the dominoes fall, like they played it all out.
They're like I know six monthsfrom now exactly how this is
going to work, and then when Icome in and ask those questions,
they're just like having torecalibrate that all on the fly,
and it hurts their brains to dothat, cause they're just like I
had never thought of thatscenario because I never pushed
(24:21):
it.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
So this is the information I was missing in the
beginning is you know thingsthey don't?
Speaker 2 (24:25):
know In some cases, but in some I'm just like it
wouldn't matter if it took threeweeks or one, but I'm just
pushing, you're just pushing,you're just pushing the push,
I'm just pushing.
Why not?
Why not get it done faster andmove on to the next thing?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Get that done faster.
I'm going to lob you through awindow, but okay, we've
established that the one week,three week probably doesn't mean
a hill of beans on most ofthese.
We've established that likelythe performance, as long as your
team performs, the only personwho's really going to notice is
(25:04):
your boss.
But you also have informationthey don't have, they're not
privy to.
Why are you asking them howlong it's going to take?
Why are you not telling themlike, hey, given this, this and
this, do you think this can bedone in one?
And then let them argue why itcould be done in three.
Give me a number, give me anumber one through ten, seven.
(25:29):
Well, you didn't know.
The secret criteria actuallyhas to be an even number.
And it has to be less than five.
I didn't tell you this becauseI wanted to see where your head
was at.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
I don't think that's it.
I'm not playing this weird mindgame.
It seems this way, it doesn'tmatter.
A hill of beans is what youjust said, so it doesn't matter
whether it's one or three, butI'm pushing.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Well, it doesn't matter to me, but it matters to
you.
That's what I'm getting to.
If it matters to you and youwant to get it, I'm doing a hand
sign here that I can't expressthe word for Shaking this.
What does this mean?
I want to get it compacted.
You want that efficiencycrammed into the pie.
(26:10):
That's a good word.
You want the efficiency.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I don't like your hand motion.
Don't do that in front of HR.
They're going to fire you thismeans efficiency.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Now For those listening, if you want to play
efficiency at home, take yourhands, make them into a C shape,
turn them so that they areparallel with each other and try
and imagine you're squeezing abig old loaf of bread into the
tightest ball possible.
That's efficiency.
That's how you do theefficiency gesture.
(26:41):
Joking someone has efficiency.
That's how you do theefficiency gesture.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Joking someone out is efficiency.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
That's what you just did.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
You just joke someone out and you're claiming it as
efficiency Sometimes.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Sometimes a joke is efficient.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Sometimes you got to do it.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Sometimes you got to do it.
What's your takeaway from this?
I've learned nothing.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Okay, okay, no.
I think this is the time thiswhole episode as part of this
podcast is going to be wipedfrom history.
No one would know.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
What did we learn today?
You should just uninstallcorporate strategy the podcast
what did we learn today?
Hire the super bowl pepsi canmodel maker instantly and just
that dude is a three, three, I'mjust saying uninstall the
podcast.
(27:43):
That dude is a three dash threecontinue why?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
why does he do what he does?
He's intrinsically motivated,him or her.
It's true.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
I'm not judging, I don't know what they are, then
they, yeah, I don't know whatthey are.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Them they.
Yeah, I don't know what theyare, but whoever it is cares so
much.
Why are they a 3-3?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
You're working at a supermarket man.
If that individual came to youroffice, said it's going to take
three weeks, you say get itdone in one.
You know what I'd say SuperBowl's not for four weeks, babe,
it doesn't matter, let's go.
It needs to be up a week beforeanyway.
You can't put it up too earlybecause then you're cutting into
(28:26):
January festivities.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Oh, I needed that laugh Good I want to find that
person.
Do you think they outsourcethat to another company?
Okay, okay, chaos Strategy onpause.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Welcome to Corpor company.
Okay, okay, chaos Strategy onpause.
Welcome to Corporate Strategy.
The podcast that could havebeen an email.
If I had to guess I'm Bruce, ifI had to guess I'm Clark that is
actually done by somethird-party advertising studio.
That's actually part of thegrocery marketing contract,
(28:59):
right, yeah, part of the grocerymarketing contract, right, yeah
, uh, it's probably.
Pepsi has their own you know adagencies that they hire out to
and they're like yo, we want todo a big spread at every
southeastern grocery storecalled publics and we want a
dude made of pepsi boxes.
Can y'all go make that, designthat?
And they get a.
They get a team of creativestogether.
(29:20):
They send them like a wholebunch of boxes.
They just build this prototypeand then they're like okay, tip
this out to every place.
It's not even real peps, it'sjust empty boxes.
It's a lie.
And with the sad, the sad thingprobably is I don't need to look
this up because this welcome tochaos strategy.
I'm joe rogan.
The reason I don't need to lookthis up is because, in reality,
(29:42):
this probably actually startedas, like, some local grocers
like fun thing they did everyyear Like, we have all these
cans of Pepsi like or boxes ofyou know six packs of Pepsi.
We can make a man holding afootball and the football will
be a Dr Pepper.
It'll be really fun.
And he did this and someindividual who's me walked by
(30:06):
and was like, oh, oh, I'm goingto steal this.
I'm going to steal this, I'mgoing to go pitch it to Pepsi,
I'm going to get a 20-yearcontract with them as their ad
agency and this is how I made mymillions.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
That's probably the sad truth.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
It's absolutely what happened so a little person who
made that?
Yeah corporate never got acredit they outsourced it.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
That little person never got the credit.
And guess what?
Now they go back to stockingshelves instead of making the
pepsi man every year.
And they have to go.
This is the saddest thing I'veever thought this is the saddest
thing yeah, uh-huh, you'resarah mclaughlin in the
background in the arms of anangel.
They turn around, it's allblack and they look and they see
this agency pull up and peoplewalk in before a store opening
while they're stacking shelves,putting boxes, flipping them
(30:52):
around and someone's buildingthe pepsi man, not them what?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
what's even sadder is , as they bring in the Pepsi man
construct on the Pepsi truckthat's paid for by the Pepsi
company, they go to the littleguy who made this thing and
they're like here's theblueprint.
You need to put this up as partof the agreement we've made
with your corporate conglomeratethat owns this store.
And we have to get this truckout of here in an hour.
(31:20):
And he says but it's going totake three.
I haven't finished putting theeggs away and if I don't,
they're going to spoil.
Eggs don't spoil.
He doesn't know this, he's noteducated.
But then they come in and theysay eggs don't spoil.
And they're like like well, youheld that information from me.
(31:41):
You didn't tell me that I cando it in an hour and a half, but
there is milk and that milkwill spoil.
And they're like milk actuallydoes spoil, but we have to get
this truck out of here in twohours.
He's like why did you ask forone?
And they say I don't know, Idon't know, I, I don't know, I
didn't learn anything today.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
And you're on mute.
See you guys next week.
See you next week.
Just drop the mic right at theend.
Oh, that was the saddest thingever, because it's so true.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Just tied it all together.
This might be the mostroundabout episode we have ever
done.
I might be depressed now.
I've already had a bad week.
I've had a terrible week.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You- have Sad little Pepsi man.
I thinking about this sadlittle Pepsi man.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I gotta think about sad little Pepsi Pepsi man.
Did you know?
Did you know that there is agame for the Sony Playstation 1
called Pepsi man, in which a manwho is actually the superhero,
whose sole purpose in life is tobust through people's living
rooms and deliver them, pepsi,runs through neighborhoods
(33:06):
grabbing cans of Pepsi andthrows them at people, and every
time he does this it goes Pepsiman.
This is a real game.
Look it up.
This is not real.
It can't be.
It's a real game, really, it'sa real game.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I love that.
I would never lie to you.
That is what the good old daysused to be about.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
It is what the good old days used to be about.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Marketing that you liked.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
You liked marketing.
You paid $40 to play themarketing on your PlayStation,
and I'd do it again.
Mm-hmm For Pepsi man, anythingfor Pepsi man.
Well, I think that covers it.
I think we really did it thistime.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
We did it Honestly.
This should be the book.
Just throw out all our drafts.
We're going to throw outeverything that we have into the
trash, and I want this to be astory about the, the grocer, the
, the inspired grocer, who is sopassionate about the super bowl
(34:09):
, just trying to have a littlefun in his sad, uneducated life
because he didn't know eggsdon't spoil and milk spoils,
getting squeezed by corporations.
This is what the book is allabout.
And then we talk the next time.
The next time we talk, we'lltalk about his rise and taking
it all back and him using theefficiency chokeout to take over
(34:31):
again.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Next time on Chaos Strategy, clark unhinged.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Play this for your children.
This is a good bedtime storyfor them to look forward to what
life is real and really like.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
I mean in all honesty .
I think the subject matter oftoday's episode perfectly
represents how I feel, so thanksfor that.
You managed to turn yourtherapy session into a therapy
session for me, and that's whatthis show is all about.
This show is all about that.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Always have them Full circle.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
That's right, and now I'm going to go pay $20 to keep
the podcast on the platform.
Speaking of, if you want tohelp, you can Click on your show
notes, click that link tree,all right.
So, first thing, join theDiscord.
(35:31):
Okay, from the link tree.
Cool, yeah, from the link tree.
Do that.
Okay, do it.
Yep, click it.
All right, you're in.
Go to the what Do you Memechannel and post a meme summary
of this episode.
Okay, awesome, I got an easyone for you.
Literally just go post Pepsiman.
I'm going to post it right now,please do.
(35:52):
Okay, you still have the linktree pulled up, though, right,
yeah, yeah, keep doing yourthing.
I'm looking at Pepsi man.
Okay, so, while you're on thatlink tree, I need you to open up
, buy me a coffee and if, if youhad a laugh today, if you felt
inspired, if you felt like thelittle grocer understand that's
(36:15):
this entire podcast, that's howwe feel.
24, seven, three, 65.
We are the grocer.
That was the analogy that wasbeing made here.
If you missed the subtle hintsthroughout this pod, you can
support the show.
Simple, just give us a dollar,give us a buck.
It's 20 bucks a month for us tokeep this show on the road in
your ears.
The road, that is your earcanals.
They're not roads, they'recanals.
The boat Keep the boat in yourears.
(36:37):
That's the show.
A dollar will do you If 20 ofyou gave a dollar.
That's a free month for us.
That's a month where we don'tpay out of my pocket.
So think about that.
You can also, if money is anissue which for many of us it is
, and if you live in the UnitedStates, it's going to continue
to become a bigger one forreasons unspoken.
Free, luigi, you can share thiswith your friends and neighbors
(37:04):
, family, children.
It's, it's a safe pod.
I think we swore like fivetimes in 150 episodes.
So like, that's pretty good,you ain't getting that on a joe
rogan, all right, and like twoor three of those swears.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
We're just referencing titles of other
things.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Right right, they're PG-13 swears.
You would absolutely getthrough the MPAA with this show.
So you're solid gold sharingthis with the little ears and I
think kids appreciate hearingabout the woes of corporate, so
share it.
If you can't spare it, ohthat's good that is good.
Trademark that Share it if youcan't spare it.
I love that.
Okay, putting that in it.
Oh, that's good.
That is trademark that share itif you can't spare it, I mean
(37:41):
that's gotta, okay, putting thatin there for the next one.
Uh, is there anything else?
Oh yeah, baby onesie, you canalso.
If you go to our merch storeyou can buy smirch, but we don't
get anything from the smirch.
We try to make the smirch asaffordable as possible, so you
can, you can do that too buy itat cost.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Buy your baby a onesie.
Buy your baby a onesie with thecorporate strategy logo so you
know someone's, you know someonethat's having a child.
Buy them this onesie.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
They'll appreciate it they will say what in the
ever-loving flip is this?
And they will become a listenerwhat episode is 154?
Speaker 2 (38:14):
yeah sure, sure, give them this episode and say go,
listen to this, you'll be hookedfor life, you'll be hooked for
life.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Tell them it's all uphill from here.
I love it, me too, I love you.
Hey, I think we're good, we'regreat, okay.
So until then, I want you allto keep it real, keep it Pepsi
(38:42):
fresh.
I'm Bruce and I'm Clark andyou're on mute.
We'll Pepsi you next week Toget that Pepsi.
How dare you.
How dare you.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.