March 31, 2025 • 57 mins
Bruce and Clark explore embarrassing workplace moments and reminisce about social media evolution, from MySpace's customization to Facebook's strategic growth, while discussing cringe-worthy corporate experiences.
• Reflecting on the rise and fall of various social media platforms
• Bruce shares his transformative experience at a Panchakarma wellness retreat
• The hosts catalog workplace embarrassments like camera mishaps on virtual calls
• Stories about notorious office characters including "the chair sniffer" and "lobby pooper"
• Discussion of bathroom etiquette and the unspoken rules of professional spaces
• Tips for meeting scheduling to respect everyone's time and comfort
• The importance of reading a room's "temperature" to avoid awkward situations
Please share your own embarrassing workplace stories anonymously in our Discord using /confess - we'll feature the best ones in upcoming episodes! Join through our link tree in the show notes.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
need to meet my notifications.
It when I like the second.
I typed in said join.
I started getting slackmessages from from work.
That ain't okay that's all that.
Ain't cool, do not disturb mein my domicile of podcastery, do
you?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
not understand the criticality of what I'm in right
now.
We talked about it last episode.
We said you, you type in, slackme, you're fired, fired.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Gone.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Gone.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Don't want to speak to you ever again.
We're not friends anymore.
Don't do it Unfriended.
If this was Facebook, ourrelationship status would be not
friends anymore.
We go right past it'scomplicated into no longer
friends.
If this were Myspace, If this,were my space.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I love that we both went there right after friend
list.
You got bumped.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
You got bumped, you're out um, that just you
know you're.
You're a little young for myspace.
I'm surprised that's what.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
That's what I've been told.
I've been told that too.
But yeah, I was on the MySpacegang when it came up.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
You're not that much younger than me, but like, at
the same time, a lot happened inthose years where you was a
child and I was a young man.
You know, like some things didhappen and I'm surprised you.
Did you have a MySpace?
I did Whoa, yeah, whoa.
How old were you?
(01:30):
That's too young for a MySpace.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I can't remember, I must have.
When did you get one Highschool Early?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
high school, yeah, okay, so you had to have been.
Mine was late elementary, noway well okay myspace was around
for a minute, so that makessense.
Like you probably came in aftermyspace had kind of done its
course, like you know, stillstill a child, still a bambino.
(02:02):
You know, your, your friendsare all in the MySpace, but I
was when I got to college.
I was part of the earlyFacebook people, so it was, I
think I was like one of like thefirst 300 on Facebook Because
my college was one of the earlyones.
Zuck enrolled yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
It's so interesting.
Huh, myspace was awesomebecause you could customize
everything, like you could comeup with your own backgrounds,
put them on the background of it.
You could have your own liketypeface, like.
That's what I actually lovedabout it, because when you went
to Facebook, everything was sovanilla Like it was all kind of
boilerplate.
Yeah, it was all blue, you gotlike a banner image, you got a
face image.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
That it's like you can customize.
You land on someone's myspaceand you're like, whoa, this is
you.
Yeah, well, I remember, likewhen facebook blew up, myspace
then became like oh, this is theplace for music, right, like
myspace is for music and bandsand facebook is for people and
friends.
And then myspace kind of justdied, sadly.
Poor time, much better platform.
Yeah yeah, poor Tom.
Well, tom, I mean was exited avery rich man, so that's true,
(03:07):
like didn't have to ever workagain, just living his best life
.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
He had so many friends you know Everybody was
his friend.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
You had to yeah, and like what a good way to go right
, like he doesn't have to everwork again.
Everyone looks at him withrespect, like, oh, he pioneered
the good social network.
You look at Twitter, you lookat Facebook, you're like I don't
like those people, both on theplatform and on the platform.
It's a wreck.
(03:36):
No one looks at Tom that way.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
He exited at the right time to your point.
He peaced out and that wasprobably the right move.
He probably could have made alot more money, but still the
right move.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I don't know if he could.
I think MySpace was doomed tofail Because the thing Facebook
did that MySpace didn't was ithad the exclusivity, and I think
, in all honesty, that caused itto blow up because everyone
wanted to be on it.
Originally it was only collegesand then you could only get on
(04:11):
via invites.
It just became this, like theydid the whole relationship
status thing and then it waslike very much just because it
was so collegiate and young.
I think myspace had a lot ofpeople, very different age
ranges, but, like there was atime when it, like facebook, was
all high school college, like90 of the user base high school
college.
And what happens when somethingis like the cool, hip thing,
(04:32):
the old people come in and thenlike that was it, it, just it.
It managed to hit the exactright momentum with every
demographic to to grow up andbecome the success that it was,
which is funny because, like Ihave not been on Facebook for
like 10 years now.
Same, you know, like yeah, oh,wow.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I haven't been on Instagram.
Instagram I've been on in likenine years.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, I don't even log into our corporate strategy
account Cause I don't know howuh it's because we lost old.
I've never felt so old.
Well, I have the password, Ihave the login, but every time I
tried to log in it would sayyou're a bot and I'm like, I'm
not a bot, what are you talkingabout?
So I'd use, like, my phonenumber and then that wouldn't
(05:15):
work either and it's just likeI'm done.
I hate meta, I don't like zuck,like whatever.
Whatever.
We're not gonna be on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Just screw it.
Say that you're a boomerwithout saying you're a boomer.
That's how you do it, folks.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Well, here's the thing.
You can call me a boomer allyou want, but if I can't get on
your stupid platform, like, isit a me problem or a you problem
?
It literally thought I was abot every time I tried to log in
.
Like literally thought I was abot every time I tried to log in
.
Like well, I think what itactually is is because those,
those platforms are soinformationally invasive.
I have a whole home ad blockerand it, you know it, garbles my
searches.
(05:53):
It doesn't give personalinformation away, so I think
that was actually preventing mefrom getting in.
And, like you know, zuck's gotto get every drop of blood out
of you when it comes to yourpersonal data.
So I was just tripping up theirsystems and I refused to give
them anything.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
So you're like this seems like suspicious activity
because it has no PII associatedto it at all.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
So because I don't want him on.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, it's a bot.
You can't be on this.
You're a bot.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I think it's exactly what it is and I don't care
enough to actually make it work.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Fair enough.
You know, one day, we'llactually start posting on social
again.
Yeah we will.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
One day, one day.
We'll probably hire someone todo it.
You know, once we really hit itbig with that one episode that
just goes viral, then we'll doit.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Or the baby onesies just start flying off the shelf
Right, and then we turn oncommission for 1% and then boom,
millionaires.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Overnight, overnight, millionaires, overnight.
I love this.
I love this idea.
Good, I would love to be amillionaire, you know what else
I'd love.
What's that?
Welcome to Corporate StrategyPodcast podcast.
It could have been an email I'mBruce and I'm Clark hey, clark.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Hey, how's it going?
Do you want to do a podcast?
No, okay, and you're on mute.
See you next week.
Peace vibe.
Check how you doing one daywe'll actually do that vibration
inquiry vibration for youranalysis I'm doing better.
I was really behind for a longtime thousand emails, hundreds
(07:36):
of teams, messages, slacks allthis sort of nonsense going on
and I was in a dark place for myboy, david Allen, getting
things done.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I'm doing his pose.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I'm doing his pose right now.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
You see me doing the David Allen pose.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I love that.
We both looked at each otherand leaned in the right
direction and we both were insync.
That was incredible.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
We both knew the worst book cover I've ever seen.
But so you're doing.
You're doing, getting thingsdone, I'm doing better I'm doing
, getting things done.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I am not all the way through my email, but through
the slacks and teams messagesand my organizations.
Is is in place, like I have aplan for next week and I feel
much, much better good, couldyou just select all those unread
emails and hit the delete key?
yeah, yeah, there's a timeexpiration.
I feel like for my organizationI feel like every organization
has this where it's like thesego to archive at some point, and
(08:32):
I think like two and a halfweeks is archive.
It's like, if it's not stillcoming up after like two and a
half to even two, probably nolonger relevant and it was taken
care of.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, does that seem like the right time span to you.
Absolutely.
If anything is generous, I saya week.
If the email hasn't beenresponded to in a week, it's
technically no longer relevant.
It is as obsolete as a compactPC in 1999.
You know what?
I'm saying dog, you are aboomer.
With it.
(09:04):
Yeah, you are a boomer, it'sofficial.
Yeah, let me go install XP.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Oh boy XP.
Oh my gosh You're too young forXP.
Xp was garbage.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
XP was garbage.
Xp was the best.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
XP was the best until 7.
Millennium.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Edition, which is what I used, was garbage.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah, that was XPp on crack.
Millennium.
Bad windows server, all badvista trash eight straight jail
underrated.
You think so?
Eight for me, I trash.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Eight got rid of the start bar, but I didn't mind
that as a mac user, and eightwas the first one that could
fast load on an ssd, so it wasactually great for gaming.
If you don't use it for work,eight was great mate it was
great.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
No, but 10.
10 is when they finally fixed.
I think eight was when theywere stuck in that era of are
are we a mobile first or are wea desktop PC first?
And they just had an identitycrisis and it was a nightmare.
I have two operating systems.
I've got this tablet-type thingthat I never use, and then I
have my desktop and that's, thatwas 8.
(10:18):
Yep, and most people couldn'tfigure out how to get to the
start button, which made ittrash.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Just hit the key on your keyboard.
Just hit it, just whack thatkey.
Like comment subscribe, whackthat key.
Can't believe I'm defendingMicrosoft, but like people made
such a deal about the start barand like for reals y'all, do you
not use keyboards?
Do you not alt-tab to selectyour apps?
Have you seen someone who's notin tech use a computer?
(10:52):
Yes, I've seen people who arein tech use computers.
It's maddening.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
It's painful.
You see them using it.
You're like dude hit tab, justhit tab, that's all you got to
do.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I would love to find a data point, and maybe our
listeners could do this for us.
What's worse, computer literacyor actual literacy?
I have a sneaking suspicion.
But yeah, people don'tunderstand technology at all
anymore.
It's going to get worse with AI.
(11:21):
It already has gotten worse.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
People don't understand AI and AI.
They're going to get worse withAI.
It already has gotten worse.
Yeah, People don't.
People don't understand AI, andAI is they're going to use it
for everything.
So therefore, technology isgoing to be like oh, who cares
about that thing?
I just AI everything.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Anyways, how are?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
you before we go down that road.
How are you?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I'm you know pinkies up, I'm, I'm doing, I'm doing.
There's a lot of things goingon.
I don't think we ever talkedabout what I did.
I went on a retreat and wascovered in oil for three hours a
day with intense Thai massage.
It was a good time and part ofthe experience of this
(12:19):
hippy-dippy function was likehaving you know this sort of
mantra you repeat to yourselfand I said you know, I don't
believe any of this nonsense,but I'm going to go along with
it and buy in and so like I'mgoing to be stress-free and like
, in all honesty, I have beenstress-free since the retreat
and like my life is notstress-free at all right now.
It's absolute chaos, but I'mfine, I'm really fine.
Like I don't feel like thingsare affecting me the way they
used to.
So I think it worked kind ofwild, but it did work.
(12:43):
Everything is a nightmare at myjob and everything is falling
apart, but I'm doing great, Ifeel great.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I don't even know where to start with what you
just said to me Good, is thisreal?
I was going to stop you midsentence to be like what are you
talking about?
And then I was like I'm justgoing to let him rip and like
see where this goes.
Did you actually go on aretreat?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
like what you got to tell me more.
Yes, how did you get roped intothis hippy dippy retreat?
My wife and I sarah who was onthe pod we went uh to uh, it was
in.
It was a like a it's called apancha karma uh experience.
So it's, it's an indian sort ofmystic thing that they've, you
know, obviously got a littleplace.
For you know, there's lots ofdifferent pancha karma retreats,
so it's it's like this wholething where there's four.
(13:36):
It's not humors, it's like it'snot tempers, but like there's
parts of the body.
You know, there's your uh,there's your ground, there's
your fire, there's your waterand there's your air.
And if those things get out ofbalance, you know there's your,
there's your ground, there'syour fire, there's your water
and there's your air.
And if those things get out ofbalance, you know that leads to
stress and strain andtribulation.
So, you know, every morning wewould wake up and do yoga for an
hour and then we'd have a verybland breakfast and then I would
(13:59):
go off and have a treatmentdone and the treatment was
called panchakarma and it'sbasically a very just, insane
amount of oil, like literallygallons of oil, like multiple
gallons of oil, uh, poured onyour body and massaged, and then
more is poured and massaged.
It's hot, it's hot oil and itkind of hurts a little bit, but
then you get used to it and it'slike hurts so good.
(14:20):
Um, the my my therapist,literally got up on the table
and used her knees and walkedacross my back and it was like
the most wonderful feeling I'veever felt, just like the strain
and stress of my life just leftwith the knees digging into my
flesh.
But then more oil, more oil andoil in the nose, oil in the
(14:41):
ears, oil on the forehead.
They do this thing where theyput, and this is the one thing I
hated.
I hated this.
I had to lay on the table andthey would literally pour like a
slow little stream of oil on myforehead to activate my third
eye for 30 minutes and I wantedto scream for the entire time,
that's Chinese water torture.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
That's literally what it is.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Apparently some people love it and it's great.
And I did tell them the secondday.
I'm like I really hated that.
I know it's included in theprice of this thing, but like
can I just sit in the steamerfor longer?
Because like the steamer wasnice sit in a little pod and
have hot air on me.
And then she was like, well,I'm gonna put on a meditation, a
guided meditation, for you, andthat will help calm your monkey
(15:24):
mind.
And I'm like, okay, and it did.
And it was kind of weirdbecause then the guided
meditation made it veryheadspace trippy, so I would do
that and then I'd have the mostbland lunch of my life.
All the food was incrediblyhealthy, which meant it was
disgusting.
No sugar and then in theafternoons we would go to town
and just see like museums andstuff, come back, have another
(15:47):
incredibly bland dinner and thenwe do yoga again and, uh, this
was my day for every day forabout four days.
This was four days.
Yeah, it's great what are wedoing?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
was it local.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
It was around here.
No, it was, it was inGainesville, okay.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
So it was two hours from where I live, northern
Florida.
Yeah, okay, okay.
How did you stumble upon thiswe?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
wanted to do a wellness retreat because
obviously, if you've listened tothe pod at all, you know I'm a
very nervous, stressful personand we thought, like this, this
could help.
My wife found it highly rated,highly reviewed, looked at a
couple different places inFlorida and this one was the top
, so we went there.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Oh, my goodness, all right.
You know I'm not a person whojudges.
I'm just curious how all thisworks.
And if it worked for you, Imean like I would probably be
skeptical, like you were, likegoing into it and be like this
is weird, but I'm all in.
Yeah, I would be all for it.
I'd be like, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
I'm bathing in oil today one one evening the yoga
practice was, I forget it'scalled like sleep yoga, so you
literally just lay on the floorand close your eyes and do like
very specific rhythmic deepbreathing, while the instructor
is like guiding you and the goalis to get into sleep while
you're awake and then do anaffirmation in your mind.
(17:08):
So it's like I'm gonna bestress-free, I'm gonna be
stress-free and uh, it wasreally weird and again
uncomfortable, but I do likeI'll tell you what man I am not.
You go into sleep, do you go?
into sleep while you were awake.
I did, I did, I did do thething.
Um, yeah, it was weird.
There's a lot of weird stuff,but, like you know, went into
(17:29):
all of it.
How?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
long ago.
When did you do this?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
uh uh, early feb early feb.
Yeah, yeah, it was I mean goodfor you.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
It's been all it's been.
You know it's end of march andyou're still stress-free it
worked.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
It truly did.
I I feel stress-free.
I think a lot of it was justlike learning to breathe better.
Yeah, uh, you know theimportance of like understanding
what's in my control, what'sout of my control, you know just
stuff that we all know.
But then doing it in practicereally helps.
And then getting to a goodstate physically of just like
having the, the kind of massagethat I had done to me for three
(18:12):
days straight, like I think thatreally helped too.
So you know, I I highlyrecommend it.
Uh, from a it it helped me getin a better headspace and I feel
better.
But you know, to each their own.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Yeah, you know, it's like those type of things.
I feel like you have to just goall in and it's worth it to try
it, because it gets you out ofyour comfort zone and it brings
your body and mind to placesthat it's probably never been.
I did a week long retreat whenI was in college and it was no
(18:47):
phone, so it was no technologyfor the whole week.
Every day you would fast forlike a good 18 hours.
Oh and so then you would justlike you'd be in your thoughts,
super hungry, and like you would.
Basically we'd have quiet time,we would go off in nature and
we'd just be like by ourselves.
And you're supposed to thinkthrough affirmations, things
like that, and you're supposedto just do that by yourself.
(19:08):
And it's supposed to like trainyour body and your mind to be
more in tune with each other andfor you to kind of like reset
your life.
In a lot of ways it was intense, but it made a huge difference.
Like after the third day you'relike I don't feel so hungry
anymore, I don't really need tothink about all those things
that I normally stress about,and life feels like I'm in the
(19:29):
moment, not just like living init.
It was really interesting.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
That is interesting.
Was it called something?
I don't think there was anactual name.
No, Just some rando came up toyou and was like hey, we're
going to go in the woods byourselves for a week and you're
not going to eat.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
It was with a group of like leaders in my college,
like some of the top performingathletes and academics, and it
was just so we could like Idon't know if they were
investing in us or what, but itwas like so you could kind of
see what your body and mindcould do, were investing in us
or what.
But it was like so you couldkind of see what your body and
mind could do and we would haveall these leadership discussions
and we'd have really coolpeople come in and like talk to
us.
but it was a wild, they weremasks at night I mean they did
(20:07):
and and there was, you know,some blood involved, you know,
just to form those lifelongbonds knew it.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, no, I got you, I got you but no, it's really
cool, I'm gonna hit up when Ineed my next loan absolutely.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Yeah, let me know, let me know, I know a guy, yeah,
I bet you those things arecrazy because, like, if you've
never done that before, it justtakes you completely to a
different place.
You're like my body can do this, I can live like this.
And then you get back to thereal world and it's like this is
weird like I've got a differentperspective.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Hit that McDonald's and you're like ah, you know
what, I'd still take this overthat.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
A Big Mac.
I'm going to go into juststraight food coma after this.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Big Mac extra large fry extra, extra large Coke,
extra Coke in the Coke.
Now you're living.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
You've never lived so good in your life.
Edm music, maybe some vaping inthe middle, just really reset
your life back into gear.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
As you take your tooth bones, your mouth bones
and just sink them into thatjuicy Big Mac and the Mac sauce
rolls down your cheek.
You just hear Inyes sing anonly time in the background.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
It's got disgusting so quickly.
And speaking of disgusting,I've got something to talk about
today.
Do you really?
Now I do, I just had totransition into it.
I thought about it from youagain, but I'm going to let you
have it.
No, you can't.
Well, I mean, you are kind ofnow, but I'm going to go into it
anyway.
We had a debate before webrought Kregers in here.
(21:44):
We said are we going to dosomething serious or are we
going to do something ridiculous?
And I said let's do somethingridiculous.
You agreed let's have some fun.
I want to talk about the mostembarrassing things to do at
(22:05):
work, either that you've done oryou've observed of others, just
to share some fun littlestories.
I see your face.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Do you remember?
Do you remember you weren't onmy team?
Uh, I don't want to ever likebe mean to people that don't
deserve it, so I'm going to tryand do my best here.
Do you remember when we firststarted working with folks at a
different site let's just callit Roseville, minnesota.
(22:31):
That's a code name.
That's a code name.
There would be some people,there's a person who would be on
camera and we'd have the cameraon a projector so you'd see the
big old face projected on thewall and this person would just
(22:53):
dig for gold up in the nose allthe time.
Yeah, and we're just like thisis great.
In the meeting room looking atthe time no.
This is great In the meetingroom looking at the projector,
this person going to town Neverknew I don't think anyone ever
told them that we can see youthey were on camera officially.
(23:16):
They knew they were on camera.
Why they did this, I don't know.
Maybe it was just a habit, butyeah, they were digging.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
That's rough.
That is one of the top mostembarrassing things is on
virtual calls, when someoneturns their camera on and they
don't know their camera is on.
It's like the cringiest thing,because I feel like everybody
just goes silent.
What are they going do like?
What's gonna happen?
And most of the time it'spretty tame, but sometimes you
(23:47):
see some stuff that you cannever unsee.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yeah, and that's why my one of my old bosses.
Uh still a very good friend ofmine.
Uh accidentally turned hiscamera on when he was in the
shower no, yeah, no, fortunately, fortunately.
Fortunately, there it was allabove the belt.
But uh, yeah, didn't?
(24:12):
He joined like a team's meetingand didn't realize like the
camera turned on, uh, as he wastaking the call.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah oh my gosh, that is so bad.
So I've I've done things likeclose to that, like I'll be like
getting ready in the morning.
You know I'll have a call, likewhatever.
I gotta listen into it, andlike my shirt might be off,
doing my hair, whatever.
My phone's just on the counterand I accidentally turn my
camera on and so you can't likesee me.
(24:37):
You're just looking up at theceiling, right, but then you
like lean over.
You know what I'm talking aboutyou lean over your camera and
you're just like, oh, like youget that face, that like, oh
crap, am I doing what I thinkI'm doing?
And you hit it real quick andyou're like, how long was that?
How many people saw like you gointo that panic mode because
you're like, what did they see?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
and you just hope you don't get a call from hr after
that yeah, I, I've neveractually had a camera snafu,
ever, yeah, and I think it'sbecause, like I've always been
when I've been remote, I'vealways been on camera, so I've
always been conscious that thecamera is on and I'm on, as is
the camera.
So it's never happened to me.
But, uh, I would say the mostembarrassing that's ever
(25:20):
happened to me is I've writtenthings in slack chats, not
realizing it was not the slackchat that I thought I was in.
Uh, in all honesty, it was forthe best, like I remember one
time it was like I was callingthis person out and like they're
like why are you being so meanto me?
And it's like you know whatactually you need, you need, you
need to know this.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
So this is actually something that you should be
aware of, oops.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Should have checked the.
Should have checked which DMgroup I was in, but you know you
needed to hear it.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
So that's, that's life, oh man that's tough, yeah,
that's tough, yeah Cause, ohman, that's tough.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, that's tough, yeah Cause then you're just like
.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
I mean, were you remote at the time or was this
like a hybrid situation?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Oh yeah, this was like at my current job, okay.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Nice, yeah, well, you know at least, at least it got
off your chest, I guess, right.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah, you know why not Like embarrassing in the
moment.
Yeah, absolutely Heck yeah.
I don't know if I've ever donethat.
What's the most embarrassingthing you've ever seen?
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I don't think I've ever done that, because I've
always, at least, been goodabout anything I say I know
would be fine and anything Ipost, if that makes sense, like
I've always played it prettysafe when it comes to writing,
I'm not yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Oh yes, I'm bad.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yeah, yeah, oh yes, I'm bad.
Yeah, yeah, for me I'm like Ijust if I'm not gonna say it to
the person and if someone asksme something, then I won't post
it, but if I would say itstraight to their face then I'll
post it anywhere, and so that'show I kind of look at
everything that I say.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
It's like it will always be okay, no matter what
channel this goes into part ofme hopes that, like slack and
teams will get compromised andeverything I've ever written
they'll get read.
And then they well, it's outthere now it's out too bad,
ain't it?
Yeah, um yeah, I I write a lot,I I do a lot of back talk and
(27:14):
part of me, I think I think partof it is because I wish I could
say it to the person directly.
But you know, kindness is whatholds me back.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, yeah.
I think when I think about themost embarrassing things I've
seen, they're all kind ofrelated to what we're talking
about now.
Like the whole camera turn onand you're just like, oh man,
what am I seeing right now?
And you know, everyone'swatching that one camera.
In the meeting with a thousandpeople, everybody's got the
camera up as one person andyou're like this is going to get
juicy, this is going to getjuicy quick.
(27:43):
I've seen some of the worstthings I've seen is for the
communication standpoint.
I've seen a leader who one ofthe people on their team, sent
them an acronym that seemed likethis really motivational thing.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
It was super motivational.
Like you read through it, it'slike A is for you know,
achieving our highest success.
And then they just went throughthis whole entire acronym and
they didn't care to verticallyread what the acronym was.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
What Are you kidding me?
And?
Speaker 2 (28:19):
so they sent it out.
They sent it out to hundreds ofpeople, never reading, if you
just look vertically down thebullet points, what the acronym
actually said.
And that went out to hundredsof people and I remember walking
into the office.
It just said like.
I think it said like f someoneno it did no, yeah, it got sent
(28:43):
out.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I know how do you not see that?
Like part of me thinks thatlike there's some malicious.
You know someone behind thescenes who worked on that was
like let's see if they actuallyread you know, absolutely yeah,
so that got sent out to a lot ofpeople.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
I remember people coming in that day and like,
immediately turn around and belike did you see that?
You know?
I'm like what are you talkingabout?
Like, oh, you'll know, you'llknow when you see it, because
it's out there and that wasprobably the most like for me,
the cringiest thing that's everhappened, because I'm like, oh
my god, that's a leader thatjust sent that.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
That is bad yeah, I'm , I'm betting they didn't write
it.
They had one of theirdisgruntled admins put it
together and, uh, literally they.
You know this is just desserts.
That that reminds me of.
Do you remember the email wegot from the um, the fired
support employee that wrote hismanifesto?
Oh, yeah, yeah, the three pagelong like, yeah, yeah, big corp
(29:37):
is evil and you know they don'tlike this, this race of people.
I'm like, oh my gosh, this isthis, is really going for it.
Huh, like, just put it all inthere, put it all out there with
the final that was embarrassingand, uh, the funny thing was
like it recalled the email, butit was too late.
Everyone already saved a copylocally and they're like please
(29:58):
destroy any copies of this emailand remove it.
It's like who's going to dothis, like who's actually going
to listen to what you have tosay right now.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
You know what's even worse?
I actually haven't seen it in along time.
I don't know if it still existsIn Outlook.
When you can recall emails, youknow what I'm talking about.
Like you'll send it and they'llsay like bruce bangers has
recalled this email, and it'slike everybody already got the
original email yeah, I stillhave a point why did?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
you would recall, means nothing I don't understand
the recall feature.
It's never worked for me like Iassume it's supposed to remove
it from your inbox but it neverhas, so like why?
Speaker 2 (30:38):
why yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Weird.
I agree it is weird, but yeah,those are.
Those are probably the mostcringy things that I've seen,
Cause you just know you're like,Ooh, this is rough.
I also think simpler stuff.
We're all humans, but open inthe office can be embarrassing
no.
If it's loud, if Can beembarrassing no.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
If it's loud, if you're blowing something up, be
proud.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Okay, be proud.
I just gave you a sound whenyou're blasting Brown.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Make a sound, you know Like, don't be ashamed of
yourself.
That's your body doing yourthing.
Blast that ass.
You know what I'm saying, youknow I don't like that at all.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
You know what just came to mind when you said that
Something you told me a longtime ago and I'm going to say it
here because I thought it washilarious.
We were talking about do you goto the bathroom when you're
working or do you do that athome?
Is that like stealing companytime and you're like?
Boss makes a dollar, I make adime and that's why I poop on
(31:36):
company time, classic that'solder than you or I put together
.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Tell you that right now, that was so good and it's
true.
I love that, it's true, I would.
I like, I would definitely, uh,wake up some mornings because
you and I and our friends usedto carpool together.
Maybe, like I can hold thistill I get to the office.
For sure, absolutely nothing tobe embarrassed of.
I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what'sembarrassing is the time this
company's taken from my life.
So I mean, I ain't gonna wasteit at home, I'll do it all right
(32:08):
other simple bodily functionsyou're about to present.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
You take a sip of water, it goes down the wrong
pipe and you just start coughingoh my gosh.
Yeah, that one's soembarrassing because you know
you're like oh, I'm in themiddle of this slide like there
is no other choice but for me tosit here right now and cough
and drink water and say, ohsorry.
And then you gotta wait andeveryone's watching you and
you're in the front of the roomand you're like this is tough.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
This is a tough look yes, that one is embarrassing, I
would say that one forgettingthat you had a video playing or
something on your laptop and itplays through the speakers, even
if it's an Oculus.
It's just like I don't wantpeople thinking I'm watching
videos, even though everyonedoes it.
Like you know, it's like Yep,the Raid Shadow Legends ad just
(32:53):
started Great.
Now everyone knows I play RaidShadow Legends Fantastic.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Our sponsor today play Raid Shadow Legends
fantastic, our sponsor today isRaid.
Shadow Legends.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Raid Shadow Legends oh, the worst game on the phone.
Um not muting yourself that'srough.
I've heard people like yellingat their spouses yeah, I have
too.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
That's just embarrassing.
Yeah, uh, huh, yeah, I have too.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Yeah that's just embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Yeah, you're sitting there like this is not okay yeah
, that one, that one borders HR.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
You know what do I do ?
It's embarrassing for us butnot for them.
It's just we've talked aboutthis a lot in the discord is, uh
, antiquated speech people usingphrases and terms that are no
longer it's not politicallycorrect, it's just not nice,
right like inconsiderate speech.
(33:52):
And you get it a lot from uppermanagement and leadership and
they think it's totally okay.
And I'm just sitting there likeman, if you're under 50 you're
gonna find this offensive likeholy cow.
That that one's reallyembarrassing.
And then they, they don't feelembarrassed at all because
they're all rich and old andwhite it's almost like worse.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
It's like embarrassing for for us, because
you're like that's my boss, sothat's someone on my team like I
don't know to address this.
And then it's more like cringyfor everybody else.
You're like, oh my gosh, thisis happening right now.
What about?
Oh, another one Getting liketoo drunk at a company party or
outing?
(34:32):
That's tough.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
That's a fireable offense, absolutely.
People get fired from saleskickoffs and just work from
drinking too much, making a foolof yourself.
I've never seen that happen,though, personally, really.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I had someone come up to me and like they wanted to
be part of my team, but theydrank a little too much that
night and they were talking tome and they were so confident
and I'm like you're slurring,you're wobbling back and forth,
you're not making coherentsentences and I'm just like
nodding, I'm like yep, I'm likethis is tough, this is a tough.
(35:10):
Look, I am definitely notbringing you onto my team.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
I think I'm lucky.
I have never actuallyexperienced like the drunken
stupor of the, the drunksalesperson before, and like my
people the people I work withdrink a lot, but like they're
able to keep it, you know, likekeep it under wraps, hold their
own.
I think I'm lucky in thatregard Cause I I remember
hearing about some of the saleskickoffs at the big corp we used
(35:37):
to work at, uh.
Hearing about some of the saleskickoffs at the big corp we
used to work at uh.
People got lit and they wouldcommit acts of debauchery and
like crash rented sports carsinto fountains, like yeah, and
they didn't get fired for iteither that's insane insane.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
That's why.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
We know one of the people who did that too.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Oh really, we got to talk later.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
I don't know how they got away with it, but they kept
their job.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Speaking of crashing or some sort of like vehicle
accident, we had a.
We had a contractor come in andthey rented a car.
So they flew in, rent a car,came to the office.
We have those spike things inour parking lot.
We're like, because you have tobadge into the parking security
strips, yeah, and so we havethose security strips.
Yeah, they straight up droveover the ones that were up and
(36:39):
had four flats.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
That's an honest mistake Like that one.
They're a contractor, theydon't know Like.
I don't feel so like.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
I mean, there's a stop sign a huge red strip Like
it says do not enter.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Like what are you doing?
Okay, the more detail you'regiving here, the worse it gets.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
It wasn't like a small.
Oh, I'm actually backed over it.
It's like no, you just straightup ignored everything, probably
not paying attention.
It went right through it.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Four flights well, that's rough yeah, that is rough
and expensive.
Uh, hopefully they got thatrental insurance.
Yeah, I'm trying to think Ifeel like I feel like we're
missing a big one that both ofus like lived through, like
there's been some, there's beensome really embarrassing things
that, like our leadership hasdone and I just can't, I can't
muster the memory of it.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Yeah, what about a simple one like spilling
something on yourself and havingto go back to the office from
lunch?
And your pants are justdrenched and you're like yeah,
like this sucks I've seen peoplego home before.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
They're just like I I have to go home you know I'm
not living with this I spiltchowder all over my outfit today
.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
I'm just going home like yeah, I paid a white shirt.
I just dumped my coffee on andnow I have a brown shirt.
I don don't want to be here.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Wardrobe snafus.
That's something we reallydon't have to worry about
anymore, which is nice.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, I mean, you still go toan office, but as someone who's
fully remote, I have my workshirt on and gym shorts, so I'm
living the dream.
Don't have to worry, I alwaysknow how I look because I see
myself on cam.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
But in live in the dream, don't have to worry.
I always know how I lookbecause I see myself on cam.
But uh, in the olden days,wardrobe could betray people.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Oh yeah you would see like a button undone or a fly
down.
Yeah, yeah, those are tough.
What do you do like?
I mean similar, similar is likeat a restaurant.
They got the big old piece oflettuce stuck between their
teeth hanging down.
They look like a freakingvampire rabbit, you know what do
you do?
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I tell.
I tell the person yeah, I atthe fly thing, because I'm a
dude, I will come and be likehey, flies under, like just
really quick, and then like I'llwalk on dude.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Yes, dude, dude, it's okay, but like what do you?
Do if it's like you know,somebody don't know that.
Well, big old piece of spinachjust dangling, just dangling
yeah or just a booger in thenose boogie yeah, sticking out a
booger in the nose boogers justhanging out of there and you're
like, oh, I want to tell you.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
So bad if I'm not gonna do it yeah the problem
with all those is like, ifyou're in a room with people
like, you can't do it discreetly.
So it's like you, just got tolive with it.
That's tough.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Speaking of being in a room with people, something I
don't miss about office cultureat all is the smells, and this
can go many different ways.
Right, like you've got the Ijust doused myself in some
exotic perfume that's going tocause poor Bruce to have an
allergy attack.
You've got the I work in techand I don't believe in deodorant
(39:46):
and I smell of homelessness.
And then you've got the evenweirder like what is that smell?
Like it's around this person,but I don't know what it is or
someone.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
You burn popcorn in the break room or you eat fish.
You eat fish and you're justlike god damn, who did it?
Speaker 1 (40:12):
who did it and why would you?
I remember they like they toldus not to do popcorn for a while
.
Do you remember that, likethere was a sign up in the break
room like do not cook popcornin the microwave.
Yep, I remember that You'velost privileges, which is just
embarrassing in itself, as likea company full of working
functional adults, like we don'tknow how to cook popcorn.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Yep, yeah, it's so true.
It's so true.
I remember one embarrassingthing I've done.
I was in a meeting room and Ialways I mean I'm drinking out
my water bottle.
This whole entire meeting Idrank a lot of water and I
straight up just knocked mywater bottle over on my keyboard
in the middle of the meeting.
Nice, that was nice.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
Yeah, that was a good one.
Did it pry the keyboard?
Speaker 2 (40:53):
No, it was actually, so I quickly flipped it upside
down, side down your papertowels, it was fine oh nice, I
mean that goes from embarrassingto cool real quick so that's
what I did.
I'm like actually capable.
Yeah, I feel like I just didn'tcare, like I don't know if I
just lost that for for where Iwork, but it was like a super
quick thing and it would havebeen embarrassing, but I was
like paper towel dealt with.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
An hour later everybody was asking me hey, is
your laptop again like it's fineyour reaction dictates the
level of embarrassment andthat's probably why, like the
owgs that just say the weirdracist, sexist stuff, like they
get away with it because, liketheir reaction, I don't care
what I just said.
Like you spill water, you'relike that.
I got this no big deal.
I, I did it intentionally.
Sometimes I spill water tocheck my own reaction times on
(41:35):
things like okay, now you'vetaken it from embarrassing and
turned it into some kind ofweird mastery skill like oh yeah
, you know, I like to burnpopcorn.
It's great for your olfactorysenses.
Actually, it really opens thesinuses.
That's why I do it.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Like, oh well, I guess I'm the idiot then a quick
self-deprecation or a jokediffuses the whole situation
like if you you start choking onwater.
You're like I apparently forgothow to drink water today, Like
everybody's like.
Oh, that's kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
It does deflate the situation real quick.
Okay, I do remember one.
Have we talked about the chairsniffer on this podcast before?
I don't think we have.
It's a classic.
Certain listeners who I'veworked with may remember uh, how
could you forget?
We did have an individual, uh,on the sales team that I was on,
(42:28):
who would go and sniff no, no.
After certain individuals wouldget up and walk away, he would
go and sniff the chairs to seeif he could smell the body scent
(42:50):
of these human beings that heclearly desired in a
non-plotonic way.
Yeah, they were fired for that,but they were caught.
I can't imagine being caughtLike you're bending over nose
deep in the chair, mid-sniff,like you look up and someone
(43:12):
just what face do you make?
Like what face do you make inthat moment when you're?
Seeing someone pop in chair.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
You know you slowly back away and hope they did not
see you.
That is how you react to thatsituation.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
If I walk into a room and that's happening, I'm
slowly walking out yeah, I mean,if I see it, I have to address
it and be like what are youdoing?
You call him out.
It was down there, uh drop apencil looking for a contact, oh
man my mind went to thatactually of like how you pull
(43:52):
that off.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
I was like just every single time, just so you drop
the pen and you're just reachingfor it, give it a quick whiff
on your way down.
You know you can hide that.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
That's your thing, you can hide that I think if
you're face deep in a chair,breathing, breathing, breathing
deep, the spice, the spicemelange, I don't think there's
no recovery.
You can say whatever you want,but I know, we know, everyone
knows, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'stough.
(44:26):
Yeah, it's tough.
Yeah, that's embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Yeah, don't be a chair sniffer.
If you've took anything awayfrom today, don't sniff chairs
call to action for this pod.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
so, on our discord, we've done this thing called is
it me or is it corporate, andyou can do a forward slash
confess, to do an anonymousconfession in that channel.
For for for the next month, Iwant to suspend Is it me or is
it corporate?
And please share the mostembarrassing stories in that
channel.
Just do forward slash, confess,type in your story.
(44:59):
It will completely anonymizewhat you type.
We will not know who you are oror what this is, and it's
probably for the best that wekeep it that way.
Please send us yourembarrassing stories so we can
read them on this pod, becausenow, now that I'm thinking about
the chair sniffer like I'm surefolks have some really
disgusting good ones that Iwould live for some really rich
(45:20):
ones we would.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
We're gonna die.
I'm gonna die laughing everyday that I see one of those.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
It's gonna be the best thing in the world yeah,
what's crazy is I lived throughChair Sniffer and Lobby Pooper
in a year time frame.
Two of the most impactful,weird moments of my corporate
life happened in that tinywindow.
I've talked about Lobby Pooperbefore I think multiple times,
so no need to bring that oneback up.
(45:45):
But you know, it was good atBig Corp.
Things were good.
People felt really comfortable.
That's all I gotta say.
But you know, it was good atBig Corp.
Things were good.
Things were good at Big CorpThings were good.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
People felt really comfortable.
That's all I got to say.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
They sure did.
They sure did you know youbrought the bathroom.
I would say like the onlyembarrassing thing I can think
about the bathroom is like whenyou've failed the art of going
to the bathroom masterfully,Like I do remember.
Like like there was oneindividual who would just like
run into the bathroom like itmight as well have been
(46:14):
screaming and like slam the doorheavy, breathing, just like bro
, this is not like some kind ofolympic sport.
Like let's be professionalabout this, you know.
Like don't pro tip if there'smultiple stalls in the bathroom.
It doesn't matter what bathroomyou're in.
There's multiple stalls.
Always pick the one in the end,unless it is not available, and
(46:38):
then you space.
You do the gaps, give space toyour neighbors, don't pick the
one right next to them, please.
That's embarrassing even theydon't even know who you are, but
they're embarrassed for youbecause you have no etiquette
yeah, I agree and listen.
Some people have medicalconditions but like if you're
sprinting you need to go to adoctor and like get that, yes
(46:58):
you know, uh, the only logic Ican think of is, like, maybe
they're, they're trying to, uh,they've mastered the art of like
the league of legends gameplaybreak, where it's like, oh, I
really gotta go.
But if I hold it long enoughthen, you know, once I'm between
rounds of my, my legal legendsgame, I can run to the toilet,
do my business in like fiveseconds and then run back uh,
(47:20):
which you know, just all kindsof questions about sanitariness
and and all that aside, like,yeah, that's the thing thing
people do.
Maybe they're at mid-meetings.
I gotta do the mid-meeting 26seconds.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
I gotta sprint.
Imagine this is your picture inmy mind.
If you get out of a meeting,it's like we done, we done.
It starts sprinting down thehall the scream is what does it?
Speaker 1 (47:55):
you know you got to get to your next one.
You got to get to it.
So it's like the italian job ofpooping at the work.
I've got 30 seconds.
I've got 30 seconds to doeverything I need to do before I
ask you to my next meeting, andI crap my pants.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
I'm not going to crap my pants if I don't do this
right now.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
I mean, you know, respect, I'm not embarrassed for
you, I'm proud of you for beingable to master your life in
this way, you know?
Just pro tip.
One more pro tip.
Well, one more pro tip, please.
If you see, if you're theperson who's scheduling meetings
and you see that everyoneyou're inviting to your meeting
has a meeting beforehand, givethem a little courtesy, five
(48:41):
minute.
Really, this meeting starts at105 today because I saw everyone
had a meeting beforehand andyou know what they will thank
you.
Not only will they thank you,they'll be like I, like that
Clark guy.
You know he's a stand-up humanbeing.
I didn't go through mydehydration spiral today because
he gave me five minutes to getsome water.
(49:01):
Just a pro tip, you'll lookgood.
You'll look really good to bothupper management and the ICs.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (49:08):
Everyone needs that five minutes.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
Another pro tip, because another embarrassing
thing is when someone gets tooangry or too flustered in a
meeting.
Don't read the temperature ofthe room.
Don't go above the temperature.
If you're the only one goingabove the temperature, it's
awkward for everybody andeveryone's just like.
That's embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Who sets the temperature?
Speaker 2 (49:33):
I think you do it collectively okay, because
sometimes it's some meetings.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Yeah, some meetings need to be intense.
Like sometimes it needs to be alittle bit more like accusatory
in your face, dropping nameswhat did you do?
Why did you mess this up?
But, like, I think it's, it'snot what you're saying, it's how
you're saying it, like ifyou're just screaming and
repeating yourself like abuffoon, not a good book but
(50:00):
like if it's intentional, ifit's meaning agree, use that
temperature in the room and,yeah, just be, just be cool,
just be cool.
Right.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Be cool.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
Be cool.
That's all it is.
Cover yourself in oil.
It's so easy, anyone can do it.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Drip, drip.
I just can't believe you didthat Soaked in oil Did you
shower, while in this had to.
Afterwards.
Speaker 1 (50:31):
Yeah, like they give you a robe, because on the way
back to your room it's like youare covered in oil.
Just, you are like a chickenwing about to go under the
batter, you know?
Yeah, mm-hmm, put me in asteamer, I'm gonna be real tasty
, I'm a tasty little nugget,please, no, well, it's fun,
(50:58):
that's good, good topic.
Yeah, I I really again.
Please send us your stories,please, we need them I need it.
There's never been a bettertime.
Yeah, Need it.
Need it.
How do they join the DiscordClark?
Speaker 2 (51:13):
Well, okay, let me walk you through it.
Okay, all right.
Sure, you're listening to thispodcast.
Somehow we're in your ear hole,you're connected digitally to
something or you've got Elon'schip in your brain.
One of the two Scroll down.
Or use your brain to scrolldown, or, you know, use your
brain to tell it to.
(51:34):
You know, scroll the page alittle bit.
There's something called a linktree, a link tree, and you
click on the link tree and inthe link tree there's a whole
bunch of links and one of themis discord, and you literally
just click the button and youjoin the discord.
It's completely anonymous, somaybe that's a barrier to entry.
You don't have to.
You don't have to out yourself.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
I haven't even out of myself.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
People don't know who I am.
A few people do.
Not a lot of people no clue whoI am, so you can be completely
anonymous.
You can lurk.
We have a lot of people doingthat and that's cool.
Come Enjoy.
Have fun Read about lobbypoopers and chair sniffers.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Get in there.
A lot of good peeps in theretoo, there are.
What else is there Clark?
Speaker 2 (52:15):
There's a whole bunch of stuff.
You can support us by babyonesie.
There's a whole entire store weget nothing from.
You can buy mugs, you can buygear.
You can buy all that stuff andyou can also just you know buy
us so you can contribute to our,our little infographic, but you
don't have up.
By the way, I'm kind of ashamedof you.
You're supposed to have themeter of how much money we've
raised to Pepsi man, and rightnow it's still a zero.
Speaker 1 (52:38):
So let me pull that up right now, real quick.
Let me just oh okay.
Okay, so we've gotten quite afew donations at a whopping zero
right now, but they keep comingin, their nations keep coming.
So maybe by next week, thistime we'll be at zero.
Just you know, you think so.
Stay tuned, stay tuned.
Speaker 2 (52:57):
I think we'll reach the stars there.
I think maybe under commit overdeliver, maybe we'll go
negative, maybe we'll give awaymoney.
Speaker 1 (53:04):
I mean, that is what happens every week on Corporate
Strategy.
The happens every week onCorporate Strategy.
Speaker 2 (53:10):
The podcast is coming in an email.
We're going in the negativetowards it.
I mean, maybe people just don'twant Pepsi man.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
I mean, it's true, pepsi didn't want, pepsi man Do
you see Pepsi man around anymore.
He's gone.
He is in wherever the mascotsgo when they decide.
This ain't putting money theway we thought it would.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
He's out there somewhere in the world RIP.
Speaker 1 (53:36):
Like little Pepsi man has got his little empty Pepsi
can jingling for change insideof the road, shaking it.
We'll work for Pepsi.
Speaker 2 (53:46):
Poor Pepsi man.
We'll bring him back to life.
We'll bring him back what elseyou can?
Uh, you rate our podcast pleasewe love these things yeah, we
need a rating.
Share it with all the people whohave embarrassing stories to
share.
That would be great, because Iwant more stories.
So, please, now's never, neverbeen a better time to say hey,
(54:07):
there's this magical place thatyou can go and you can just say
anonymously anything you'rereally embarrassed about.
Please go do it.
Listen to this episode and godo it and contribute back to the
world some positivity.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
If, if if, if, if, if , if you have someone you work
with that you just think sucks,send them.
Find an episode, because we'vedone over 150 of these things.
Now Find an episode that's likehey, this might address your
issue.
Just say, hey, charlie, I'venever told you this, but like
howdy, howdy, charlie, I can'tstand you, but I think if you
(54:44):
listen to this episode, I'd beable to tolerate you a little
bit more and then share thatepisode with them.
Speaker 2 (54:49):
Just you know yeah, just be like you, kind of suck,
but this podcast will make youbetter.
Speaker 1 (54:55):
It should help, and if it doesn't, then my
assessment was right.
Yeah, say it just like that.
So they're like oh, what Like?
Speaker 2 (55:04):
I need to change yeah .
Yeah, or or actually I've got agreat one.
Say, hey, I just told the mostembarrassing story about you.
Oh my gosh, and be like you,better join, because I'm not,
you're not going to see itanywhere else.
Speaker 1 (55:20):
But all these people know this about you now, yikes,
yikes yikes, I forgot we weren'tsupposed to use personal
details and dropped your name inthere.
Maybe you show up and like denythe whole thing.
Yeah, put your link in there.
Maybe you show up and like denythe whole thing.
Yeah, I put your LinkedIn inthere.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
I hope you don't mind , just wanted to make sure I
added context to the story.
You better get in there andlike, defend yourself.
This is a great plan.
This is a good plan.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
So that's your call to action is share the story and
then send it to the person whoyou shared it with, because, god
help him.
We're going to read it aloud.
Absolutely, I think that's it.
I think that's it All right.
Well, you know, until next time, stop sniffing chairs.
Speaker 2 (56:02):
I'm Bruce.
Speaker 1 (56:05):
And I'm Clark and you're on mute.
We'll see you next week.
Goodbye, If you did something.
I did not hear it.
Speaker 2 (56:17):
I didn't hear it.
This sounds impressive.
I did a really loud sniffBecause it just felt so right.
I don't hear yours either.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
Discord mutes the sniff.
That's sad, that is really sadOkay.
Speaker 2 (56:32):
Hey, for everybody who's still listening, we both
sniffed in the microphone areally long drawn out one just
to set the mood.
Speaker 1 (56:37):
I saw Clark bend over and dig in with his nose like a
hog sniffing a truffle is thistwo episodes in a row?
Speaker 2 (56:47):
a truffle hog has come up and Pepsi man has come
up.
How?
Speaker 1 (56:55):
is this happening?
You're right, I don't know.
My mind is on truffle hogs.
Speaker 2 (57:00):
I want a truffle hog.
Speaker 1 (57:02):
Name him.
Speaker 2 (57:02):
Bert, have him hang out.
Bert the truffle sniffing hogBert, the truffle hog.
He also sniffs chairs.
That's a side gig.
need to meet my notifications.
It when I like the second.
I typed in said join.
I started getting slackmessages from from work.
That ain't okay that's all that.
Ain't cool, do not disturb mein my domicile of podcastery, do
you?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
not understand the criticality of what I'm in right
now.
We talked about it last episode.
We said you, you type in, slackme, you're fired, fired.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Gone.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Gone.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Don't want to speak to you ever again.
We're not friends anymore.
Don't do it Unfriended.
If this was Facebook, ourrelationship status would be not
friends anymore.
We go right past it'scomplicated into no longer
friends.
If this were Myspace, If this,were my space.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I love that we both went there right after friend
list.
You got bumped.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
You got bumped, you're out um, that just you
know you're.
You're a little young for myspace.
I'm surprised that's what.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
That's what I've been told.
I've been told that too.
But yeah, I was on the MySpacegang when it came up.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
You're not that much younger than me, but like, at
the same time, a lot happened inthose years where you was a
child and I was a young man.
You know, like some things didhappen and I'm surprised you.
Did you have a MySpace?
I did Whoa, yeah, whoa.
How old were you?
(01:30):
That's too young for a MySpace.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I can't remember, I must have.
When did you get one Highschool Early?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
high school, yeah, okay, so you had to have been.
Mine was late elementary, noway well okay myspace was around
for a minute, so that makessense.
Like you probably came in aftermyspace had kind of done its
course, like you know, stillstill a child, still a bambino.
(02:02):
You know, your, your friendsare all in the MySpace, but I
was when I got to college.
I was part of the earlyFacebook people, so it was, I
think I was like one of like thefirst 300 on Facebook Because
my college was one of the earlyones.
Zuck enrolled yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
It's so interesting.
Huh, myspace was awesomebecause you could customize
everything, like you could comeup with your own backgrounds,
put them on the background of it.
You could have your own liketypeface, like.
That's what I actually lovedabout it, because when you went
to Facebook, everything was sovanilla Like it was all kind of
boilerplate.
Yeah, it was all blue, you gotlike a banner image, you got a
face image.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
That it's like you can customize.
You land on someone's myspaceand you're like, whoa, this is
you.
Yeah, well, I remember, likewhen facebook blew up, myspace
then became like oh, this is theplace for music, right, like
myspace is for music and bandsand facebook is for people and
friends.
And then myspace kind of justdied, sadly.
Poor time, much better platform.
Yeah yeah, poor Tom.
Well, tom, I mean was exited avery rich man, so that's true,
(03:07):
like didn't have to ever workagain, just living his best life
.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
He had so many friends you know Everybody was
his friend.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
You had to yeah, and like what a good way to go right
, like he doesn't have to everwork again.
Everyone looks at him withrespect, like, oh, he pioneered
the good social network.
You look at Twitter, you lookat Facebook, you're like I don't
like those people, both on theplatform and on the platform.
It's a wreck.
(03:36):
No one looks at Tom that way.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
He exited at the right time to your point.
He peaced out and that wasprobably the right move.
He probably could have made alot more money, but still the
right move.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I don't know if he could.
I think MySpace was doomed tofail Because the thing Facebook
did that MySpace didn't was ithad the exclusivity, and I think
, in all honesty, that caused itto blow up because everyone
wanted to be on it.
Originally it was only collegesand then you could only get on
(04:11):
via invites.
It just became this, like theydid the whole relationship
status thing and then it waslike very much just because it
was so collegiate and young.
I think myspace had a lot ofpeople, very different age
ranges, but, like there was atime when it, like facebook, was
all high school college, like90 of the user base high school
college.
And what happens when somethingis like the cool, hip thing,
(04:32):
the old people come in and thenlike that was it, it, just it.
It managed to hit the exactright momentum with every
demographic to to grow up andbecome the success that it was,
which is funny because, like Ihave not been on Facebook for
like 10 years now.
Same, you know, like yeah, oh,wow.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I haven't been on Instagram.
Instagram I've been on in likenine years.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, I don't even log into our corporate strategy
account Cause I don't know howuh it's because we lost old.
I've never felt so old.
Well, I have the password, Ihave the login, but every time I
tried to log in it would sayyou're a bot and I'm like, I'm
not a bot, what are you talkingabout?
So I'd use, like, my phonenumber and then that wouldn't
(05:15):
work either and it's just likeI'm done.
I hate meta, I don't like zuck,like whatever.
Whatever.
We're not gonna be on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Just screw it.
Say that you're a boomerwithout saying you're a boomer.
That's how you do it, folks.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Well, here's the thing.
You can call me a boomer allyou want, but if I can't get on
your stupid platform, like, isit a me problem or a you problem
?
It literally thought I was abot every time I tried to log in
.
Like literally thought I was abot every time I tried to log in
.
Like well, I think what itactually is is because those,
those platforms are soinformationally invasive.
I have a whole home ad blockerand it, you know it, garbles my
searches.
(05:53):
It doesn't give personalinformation away, so I think
that was actually preventing mefrom getting in.
And, like you know, zuck's gotto get every drop of blood out
of you when it comes to yourpersonal data.
So I was just tripping up theirsystems and I refused to give
them anything.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
So you're like this seems like suspicious activity
because it has no PII associatedto it at all.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
So because I don't want him on.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, it's a bot.
You can't be on this.
You're a bot.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I think it's exactly what it is and I don't care
enough to actually make it work.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Fair enough.
You know, one day, we'llactually start posting on social
again.
Yeah we will.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
One day, one day.
We'll probably hire someone todo it.
You know, once we really hit itbig with that one episode that
just goes viral, then we'll doit.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Or the baby onesies just start flying off the shelf
Right, and then we turn oncommission for 1% and then boom,
millionaires.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Overnight, overnight, millionaires, overnight.
I love this.
I love this idea.
Good, I would love to be amillionaire, you know what else
I'd love.
What's that?
Welcome to Corporate StrategyPodcast podcast.
It could have been an email I'mBruce and I'm Clark hey, clark.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Hey, how's it going?
Do you want to do a podcast?
No, okay, and you're on mute.
See you next week.
Peace vibe.
Check how you doing one daywe'll actually do that vibration
inquiry vibration for youranalysis I'm doing better.
I was really behind for a longtime thousand emails, hundreds
(07:36):
of teams, messages, slacks allthis sort of nonsense going on
and I was in a dark place for myboy, david Allen, getting
things done.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I'm doing his pose.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I'm doing his pose right now.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
You see me doing the David Allen pose.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I love that.
We both looked at each otherand leaned in the right
direction and we both were insync.
That was incredible.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
We both knew the worst book cover I've ever seen.
But so you're doing.
You're doing, getting thingsdone, I'm doing better I'm doing
, getting things done.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I am not all the way through my email, but through
the slacks and teams messagesand my organizations.
Is is in place, like I have aplan for next week and I feel
much, much better good, couldyou just select all those unread
emails and hit the delete key?
yeah, yeah, there's a timeexpiration.
I feel like for my organizationI feel like every organization
has this where it's like thesego to archive at some point, and
(08:32):
I think like two and a halfweeks is archive.
It's like, if it's not stillcoming up after like two and a
half to even two, probably nolonger relevant and it was taken
care of.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, does that seem like the right time span to you.
Absolutely.
If anything is generous, I saya week.
If the email hasn't beenresponded to in a week, it's
technically no longer relevant.
It is as obsolete as a compactPC in 1999.
You know what?
I'm saying dog, you are aboomer.
With it.
(09:04):
Yeah, you are a boomer, it'sofficial.
Yeah, let me go install XP.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Oh boy XP.
Oh my gosh You're too young forXP.
Xp was garbage.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
XP was garbage.
Xp was the best.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
XP was the best until 7.
Millennium.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Edition, which is what I used, was garbage.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah, that was XPp on crack.
Millennium.
Bad windows server, all badvista trash eight straight jail
underrated.
You think so?
Eight for me, I trash.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Eight got rid of the start bar, but I didn't mind
that as a mac user, and eightwas the first one that could
fast load on an ssd, so it wasactually great for gaming.
If you don't use it for work,eight was great mate it was
great.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
No, but 10.
10 is when they finally fixed.
I think eight was when theywere stuck in that era of are
are we a mobile first or are wea desktop PC first?
And they just had an identitycrisis and it was a nightmare.
I have two operating systems.
I've got this tablet-type thingthat I never use, and then I
have my desktop and that's, thatwas 8.
(10:18):
Yep, and most people couldn'tfigure out how to get to the
start button, which made ittrash.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Just hit the key on your keyboard.
Just hit it, just whack thatkey.
Like comment subscribe, whackthat key.
Can't believe I'm defendingMicrosoft, but like people made
such a deal about the start barand like for reals y'all, do you
not use keyboards?
Do you not alt-tab to selectyour apps?
Have you seen someone who's notin tech use a computer?
(10:52):
Yes, I've seen people who arein tech use computers.
It's maddening.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
It's painful.
You see them using it.
You're like dude hit tab, justhit tab, that's all you got to
do.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I would love to find a data point, and maybe our
listeners could do this for us.
What's worse, computer literacyor actual literacy?
I have a sneaking suspicion.
But yeah, people don'tunderstand technology at all
anymore.
It's going to get worse with AI.
(11:21):
It already has gotten worse.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
People don't understand AI and AI.
They're going to get worse withAI.
It already has gotten worse.
Yeah, People don't.
People don't understand AI, andAI is they're going to use it
for everything.
So therefore, technology isgoing to be like oh, who cares
about that thing?
I just AI everything.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Anyways, how are?
Speaker 2 (11:35):
you before we go down that road.
How are you?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I'm you know pinkies up, I'm, I'm doing, I'm doing.
There's a lot of things goingon.
I don't think we ever talkedabout what I did.
I went on a retreat and wascovered in oil for three hours a
day with intense Thai massage.
It was a good time and part ofthe experience of this
(12:19):
hippy-dippy function was likehaving you know this sort of
mantra you repeat to yourselfand I said you know, I don't
believe any of this nonsense,but I'm going to go along with
it and buy in and so like I'mgoing to be stress-free and like
, in all honesty, I have beenstress-free since the retreat
and like my life is notstress-free at all right now.
It's absolute chaos, but I'mfine, I'm really fine.
Like I don't feel like thingsare affecting me the way they
used to.
So I think it worked kind ofwild, but it did work.
(12:43):
Everything is a nightmare at myjob and everything is falling
apart, but I'm doing great, Ifeel great.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I don't even know where to start with what you
just said to me Good, is thisreal?
I was going to stop you midsentence to be like what are you
talking about?
And then I was like I'm justgoing to let him rip and like
see where this goes.
Did you actually go on aretreat?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
like what you got to tell me more.
Yes, how did you get roped intothis hippy dippy retreat?
My wife and I sarah who was onthe pod we went uh to uh, it was
in.
It was a like a it's called apancha karma uh experience.
So it's, it's an indian sort ofmystic thing that they've, you
know, obviously got a littleplace.
For you know, there's lots ofdifferent pancha karma retreats,
so it's it's like this wholething where there's four.
(13:36):
It's not humors, it's like it'snot tempers, but like there's
parts of the body.
You know, there's your uh,there's your ground, there's
your fire, there's your waterand there's your air.
And if those things get out ofbalance, you know there's your,
there's your ground, there'syour fire, there's your water
and there's your air.
And if those things get out ofbalance, you know that leads to
stress and strain andtribulation.
So, you know, every morning wewould wake up and do yoga for an
hour and then we'd have a verybland breakfast and then I would
(13:59):
go off and have a treatmentdone and the treatment was
called panchakarma and it'sbasically a very just, insane
amount of oil, like literallygallons of oil, like multiple
gallons of oil, uh, poured onyour body and massaged, and then
more is poured and massaged.
It's hot, it's hot oil and itkind of hurts a little bit, but
then you get used to it and it'slike hurts so good.
(14:20):
Um, the my my therapist,literally got up on the table
and used her knees and walkedacross my back and it was like
the most wonderful feeling I'veever felt, just like the strain
and stress of my life just leftwith the knees digging into my
flesh.
But then more oil, more oil andoil in the nose, oil in the
(14:41):
ears, oil on the forehead.
They do this thing where theyput, and this is the one thing I
hated.
I hated this.
I had to lay on the table andthey would literally pour like a
slow little stream of oil on myforehead to activate my third
eye for 30 minutes and I wantedto scream for the entire time,
that's Chinese water torture.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
That's literally what it is.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Apparently some people love it and it's great.
And I did tell them the secondday.
I'm like I really hated that.
I know it's included in theprice of this thing, but like
can I just sit in the steamerfor longer?
Because like the steamer wasnice sit in a little pod and
have hot air on me.
And then she was like, well,I'm gonna put on a meditation, a
guided meditation, for you, andthat will help calm your monkey
(15:24):
mind.
And I'm like, okay, and it did.
And it was kind of weirdbecause then the guided
meditation made it veryheadspace trippy, so I would do
that and then I'd have the mostbland lunch of my life.
All the food was incrediblyhealthy, which meant it was
disgusting.
No sugar and then in theafternoons we would go to town
and just see like museums andstuff, come back, have another
(15:47):
incredibly bland dinner and thenwe do yoga again and, uh, this
was my day for every day forabout four days.
This was four days.
Yeah, it's great what are wedoing?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
was it local.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
It was around here.
No, it was, it was inGainesville, okay.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
So it was two hours from where I live, northern
Florida.
Yeah, okay, okay.
How did you stumble upon thiswe?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
wanted to do a wellness retreat because
obviously, if you've listened tothe pod at all, you know I'm a
very nervous, stressful personand we thought, like this, this
could help.
My wife found it highly rated,highly reviewed, looked at a
couple different places inFlorida and this one was the top
, so we went there.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Oh, my goodness, all right.
You know I'm not a person whojudges.
I'm just curious how all thisworks.
And if it worked for you, Imean like I would probably be
skeptical, like you were, likegoing into it and be like this
is weird, but I'm all in.
Yeah, I would be all for it.
I'd be like, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
I'm bathing in oil today one one evening the yoga
practice was, I forget it'scalled like sleep yoga, so you
literally just lay on the floorand close your eyes and do like
very specific rhythmic deepbreathing, while the instructor
is like guiding you and the goalis to get into sleep while
you're awake and then do anaffirmation in your mind.
(17:08):
So it's like I'm gonna bestress-free, I'm gonna be
stress-free and uh, it wasreally weird and again
uncomfortable, but I do likeI'll tell you what man I am not.
You go into sleep, do you go?
into sleep while you were awake.
I did, I did, I did do thething.
Um, yeah, it was weird.
There's a lot of weird stuff,but, like you know, went into
(17:29):
all of it.
How?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
long ago.
When did you do this?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
uh uh, early feb early feb.
Yeah, yeah, it was I mean goodfor you.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
It's been all it's been.
You know it's end of march andyou're still stress-free it
worked.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
It truly did.
I I feel stress-free.
I think a lot of it was justlike learning to breathe better.
Yeah, uh, you know theimportance of like understanding
what's in my control, what'sout of my control, you know just
stuff that we all know.
But then doing it in practicereally helps.
And then getting to a goodstate physically of just like
having the, the kind of massagethat I had done to me for three
(18:12):
days straight, like I think thatreally helped too.
So you know, I I highlyrecommend it.
Uh, from a it it helped me getin a better headspace and I feel
better.
But you know, to each their own.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Yeah, you know, it's like those type of things.
I feel like you have to just goall in and it's worth it to try
it, because it gets you out ofyour comfort zone and it brings
your body and mind to placesthat it's probably never been.
I did a week long retreat whenI was in college and it was no
(18:47):
phone, so it was no technologyfor the whole week.
Every day you would fast forlike a good 18 hours.
Oh and so then you would justlike you'd be in your thoughts,
super hungry, and like you would.
Basically we'd have quiet time,we would go off in nature and
we'd just be like by ourselves.
And you're supposed to thinkthrough affirmations, things
like that, and you're supposedto just do that by yourself.
(19:08):
And it's supposed to like trainyour body and your mind to be
more in tune with each other andfor you to kind of like reset
your life.
In a lot of ways it was intense, but it made a huge difference.
Like after the third day you'relike I don't feel so hungry
anymore, I don't really need tothink about all those things
that I normally stress about,and life feels like I'm in the
(19:29):
moment, not just like living init.
It was really interesting.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
That is interesting.
Was it called something?
I don't think there was anactual name.
No, Just some rando came up toyou and was like hey, we're
going to go in the woods byourselves for a week and you're
not going to eat.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
It was with a group of like leaders in my college,
like some of the top performingathletes and academics, and it
was just so we could like Idon't know if they were
investing in us or what, but itwas like so you could kind of
see what your body and mindcould do, were investing in us
or what.
But it was like so you couldkind of see what your body and
mind could do and we would haveall these leadership discussions
and we'd have really coolpeople come in and like talk to
us.
but it was a wild, they weremasks at night I mean they did
(20:07):
and and there was, you know,some blood involved, you know,
just to form those lifelongbonds knew it.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, no, I got you, I got you but no, it's really
cool, I'm gonna hit up when Ineed my next loan absolutely.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Yeah, let me know, let me know, I know a guy, yeah,
I bet you those things arecrazy because, like, if you've
never done that before, it justtakes you completely to a
different place.
You're like my body can do this, I can live like this.
And then you get back to thereal world and it's like this is
weird like I've got a differentperspective.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Hit that McDonald's and you're like ah, you know
what, I'd still take this overthat.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
A Big Mac.
I'm going to go into juststraight food coma after this.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Big Mac extra large fry extra, extra large Coke,
extra Coke in the Coke.
Now you're living.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
You've never lived so good in your life.
Edm music, maybe some vaping inthe middle, just really reset
your life back into gear.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
As you take your tooth bones, your mouth bones
and just sink them into thatjuicy Big Mac and the Mac sauce
rolls down your cheek.
You just hear Inyes sing anonly time in the background.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
It's got disgusting so quickly.
And speaking of disgusting,I've got something to talk about
today.
Do you really?
Now I do, I just had totransition into it.
I thought about it from youagain, but I'm going to let you
have it.
No, you can't.
Well, I mean, you are kind ofnow, but I'm going to go into it
anyway.
We had a debate before webrought Kregers in here.
(21:44):
We said are we going to dosomething serious or are we
going to do something ridiculous?
And I said let's do somethingridiculous.
You agreed let's have some fun.
I want to talk about the mostembarrassing things to do at
(22:05):
work, either that you've done oryou've observed of others, just
to share some fun littlestories.
I see your face.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Do you remember?
Do you remember you weren't onmy team?
Uh, I don't want to ever likebe mean to people that don't
deserve it, so I'm going to tryand do my best here.
Do you remember when we firststarted working with folks at a
different site let's just callit Roseville, minnesota.
(22:31):
That's a code name.
That's a code name.
There would be some people,there's a person who would be on
camera and we'd have the cameraon a projector so you'd see the
big old face projected on thewall and this person would just
(22:53):
dig for gold up in the nose allthe time.
Yeah, and we're just like thisis great.
In the meeting room looking atthe time no.
This is great In the meetingroom looking at the projector,
this person going to town Neverknew I don't think anyone ever
told them that we can see youthey were on camera officially.
(23:16):
They knew they were on camera.
Why they did this, I don't know.
Maybe it was just a habit, butyeah, they were digging.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
That's rough.
That is one of the top mostembarrassing things is on
virtual calls, when someoneturns their camera on and they
don't know their camera is on.
It's like the cringiest thing,because I feel like everybody
just goes silent.
What are they going do like?
What's gonna happen?
And most of the time it'spretty tame, but sometimes you
(23:47):
see some stuff that you cannever unsee.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yeah, and that's why my one of my old bosses.
Uh still a very good friend ofmine.
Uh accidentally turned hiscamera on when he was in the
shower no, yeah, no, fortunately, fortunately.
Fortunately, there it was allabove the belt.
But uh, yeah, didn't?
(24:12):
He joined like a team's meetingand didn't realize like the
camera turned on, uh, as he wastaking the call.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah oh my gosh, that is so bad.
So I've I've done things likeclose to that, like I'll be like
getting ready in the morning.
You know I'll have a call, likewhatever.
I gotta listen into it, andlike my shirt might be off,
doing my hair, whatever.
My phone's just on the counterand I accidentally turn my
camera on and so you can't likesee me.
(24:37):
You're just looking up at theceiling, right, but then you
like lean over.
You know what I'm talking aboutyou lean over your camera and
you're just like, oh, like youget that face, that like, oh
crap, am I doing what I thinkI'm doing?
And you hit it real quick andyou're like, how long was that?
How many people saw like you gointo that panic mode because
you're like, what did they see?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
and you just hope you don't get a call from hr after
that yeah, I, I've neveractually had a camera snafu,
ever, yeah, and I think it'sbecause, like I've always been
when I've been remote, I'vealways been on camera, so I've
always been conscious that thecamera is on and I'm on, as is
the camera.
So it's never happened to me.
But, uh, I would say the mostembarrassing that's ever
(25:20):
happened to me is I've writtenthings in slack chats, not
realizing it was not the slackchat that I thought I was in.
Uh, in all honesty, it was forthe best, like I remember one
time it was like I was callingthis person out and like they're
like why are you being so meanto me?
And it's like you know whatactually you need, you need, you
need to know this.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
So this is actually something that you should be
aware of, oops.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Should have checked the.
Should have checked which DMgroup I was in, but you know you
needed to hear it.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
So that's, that's life, oh man that's tough, yeah,
that's tough, yeah Cause, ohman, that's tough.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, that's tough, yeah Cause then you're just like
.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
I mean, were you remote at the time or was this
like a hybrid situation?
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Oh yeah, this was like at my current job, okay.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Nice, yeah, well, you know at least, at least it got
off your chest, I guess, right.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah, you know why not Like embarrassing in the
moment.
Yeah, absolutely Heck yeah.
I don't know if I've ever donethat.
What's the most embarrassingthing you've ever seen?
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I don't think I've ever done that, because I've
always, at least, been goodabout anything I say I know
would be fine and anything Ipost, if that makes sense, like
I've always played it prettysafe when it comes to writing,
I'm not yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Oh yes, I'm bad.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yeah, yeah, oh yes, I'm bad.
Yeah, yeah, for me I'm like Ijust if I'm not gonna say it to
the person and if someone asksme something, then I won't post
it, but if I would say itstraight to their face then I'll
post it anywhere, and so that'show I kind of look at
everything that I say.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
It's like it will always be okay, no matter what
channel this goes into part ofme hopes that, like slack and
teams will get compromised andeverything I've ever written
they'll get read.
And then they well, it's outthere now it's out too bad,
ain't it?
Yeah, um yeah, I I write a lot,I I do a lot of back talk and
(27:14):
part of me, I think I think partof it is because I wish I could
say it to the person directly.
But you know, kindness is whatholds me back.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, yeah.
I think when I think about themost embarrassing things I've
seen, they're all kind ofrelated to what we're talking
about now.
Like the whole camera turn onand you're just like, oh man,
what am I seeing right now?
And you know, everyone'swatching that one camera.
In the meeting with a thousandpeople, everybody's got the
camera up as one person andyou're like this is going to get
juicy, this is going to getjuicy quick.
(27:43):
I've seen some of the worstthings I've seen is for the
communication standpoint.
I've seen a leader who one ofthe people on their team, sent
them an acronym that seemed likethis really motivational thing.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
It was super motivational.
Like you read through it, it'slike A is for you know,
achieving our highest success.
And then they just went throughthis whole entire acronym and
they didn't care to verticallyread what the acronym was.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
What Are you kidding me?
And?
Speaker 2 (28:19):
so they sent it out.
They sent it out to hundreds ofpeople, never reading, if you
just look vertically down thebullet points, what the acronym
actually said.
And that went out to hundredsof people and I remember walking
into the office.
It just said like.
I think it said like f someoneno it did no, yeah, it got sent
(28:43):
out.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I know how do you not see that?
Like part of me thinks thatlike there's some malicious.
You know someone behind thescenes who worked on that was
like let's see if they actuallyread you know, absolutely yeah,
so that got sent out to a lot ofpeople.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
I remember people coming in that day and like,
immediately turn around and belike did you see that?
You know?
I'm like what are you talkingabout?
Like, oh, you'll know, you'llknow when you see it, because
it's out there and that wasprobably the most like for me,
the cringiest thing that's everhappened, because I'm like, oh
my god, that's a leader thatjust sent that.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
That is bad yeah, I'm , I'm betting they didn't write
it.
They had one of theirdisgruntled admins put it
together and, uh, literally they.
You know this is just desserts.
That that reminds me of.
Do you remember the email wegot from the um, the fired
support employee that wrote hismanifesto?
Oh, yeah, yeah, the three pagelong like, yeah, yeah, big corp
(29:37):
is evil and you know they don'tlike this, this race of people.
I'm like, oh my gosh, this isthis, is really going for it.
Huh, like, just put it all inthere, put it all out there with
the final that was embarrassingand, uh, the funny thing was
like it recalled the email, butit was too late.
Everyone already saved a copylocally and they're like please
(29:58):
destroy any copies of this emailand remove it.
It's like who's going to dothis, like who's actually going
to listen to what you have tosay right now.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
You know what's even worse?
I actually haven't seen it in along time.
I don't know if it still existsIn Outlook.
When you can recall emails, youknow what I'm talking about.
Like you'll send it and they'llsay like bruce bangers has
recalled this email, and it'slike everybody already got the
original email yeah, I stillhave a point why did?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
you would recall, means nothing I don't understand
the recall feature.
It's never worked for me like Iassume it's supposed to remove
it from your inbox but it neverhas, so like why?
Speaker 2 (30:38):
why yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Weird.
I agree it is weird, but yeah,those are.
Those are probably the mostcringy things that I've seen,
Cause you just know you're like,Ooh, this is rough.
I also think simpler stuff.
We're all humans, but open inthe office can be embarrassing
no.
If it's loud, if Can beembarrassing no.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
If it's loud, if you're blowing something up, be
proud.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Okay, be proud.
I just gave you a sound whenyou're blasting Brown.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Make a sound, you know Like, don't be ashamed of
yourself.
That's your body doing yourthing.
Blast that ass.
You know what I'm saying, youknow I don't like that at all.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
You know what just came to mind when you said that
Something you told me a longtime ago and I'm going to say it
here because I thought it washilarious.
We were talking about do you goto the bathroom when you're
working or do you do that athome?
Is that like stealing companytime and you're like?
Boss makes a dollar, I make adime and that's why I poop on
(31:36):
company time, classic that'solder than you or I put together
.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Tell you that right now, that was so good and it's
true.
I love that, it's true, I would.
I like, I would definitely, uh,wake up some mornings because
you and I and our friends usedto carpool together.
Maybe, like I can hold thistill I get to the office.
For sure, absolutely nothing tobe embarrassed of.
I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what'sembarrassing is the time this
company's taken from my life.
So I mean, I ain't gonna wasteit at home, I'll do it all right
(32:08):
other simple bodily functionsyou're about to present.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
You take a sip of water, it goes down the wrong
pipe and you just start coughingoh my gosh.
Yeah, that one's soembarrassing because you know
you're like oh, I'm in themiddle of this slide like there
is no other choice but for me tosit here right now and cough
and drink water and say, ohsorry.
And then you gotta wait andeveryone's watching you and
you're in the front of the roomand you're like this is tough.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
This is a tough look yes, that one is embarrassing, I
would say that one forgettingthat you had a video playing or
something on your laptop and itplays through the speakers, even
if it's an Oculus.
It's just like I don't wantpeople thinking I'm watching
videos, even though everyonedoes it.
Like you know, it's like Yep,the Raid Shadow Legends ad just
(32:53):
started Great.
Now everyone knows I play RaidShadow Legends Fantastic.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Our sponsor today play Raid Shadow Legends
fantastic, our sponsor today isRaid.
Shadow Legends.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Raid Shadow Legends oh, the worst game on the phone.
Um not muting yourself that'srough.
I've heard people like yellingat their spouses yeah, I have
too.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
That's just embarrassing.
Yeah, uh, huh, yeah, I have too.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Yeah that's just embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Yeah, you're sitting there like this is not okay yeah
, that one, that one borders HR.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
You know what do I do ?
It's embarrassing for us butnot for them.
It's just we've talked aboutthis a lot in the discord is, uh
, antiquated speech people usingphrases and terms that are no
longer it's not politicallycorrect, it's just not nice,
right like inconsiderate speech.
(33:52):
And you get it a lot from uppermanagement and leadership and
they think it's totally okay.
And I'm just sitting there likeman, if you're under 50 you're
gonna find this offensive likeholy cow.
That that one's reallyembarrassing.
And then they, they don't feelembarrassed at all because
they're all rich and old andwhite it's almost like worse.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
It's like embarrassing for for us, because
you're like that's my boss, sothat's someone on my team like I
don't know to address this.
And then it's more like cringyfor everybody else.
You're like, oh my gosh, thisis happening right now.
What about?
Oh, another one Getting liketoo drunk at a company party or
outing?
(34:32):
That's tough.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
That's a fireable offense, absolutely.
People get fired from saleskickoffs and just work from
drinking too much, making a foolof yourself.
I've never seen that happen,though, personally, really.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I had someone come up to me and like they wanted to
be part of my team, but theydrank a little too much that
night and they were talking tome and they were so confident
and I'm like you're slurring,you're wobbling back and forth,
you're not making coherentsentences and I'm just like
nodding, I'm like yep, I'm likethis is tough, this is a tough.
(35:10):
Look, I am definitely notbringing you onto my team.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
I think I'm lucky.
I have never actuallyexperienced like the drunken
stupor of the, the drunksalesperson before, and like my
people the people I work withdrink a lot, but like they're
able to keep it, you know, likekeep it under wraps, hold their
own.
I think I'm lucky in thatregard Cause I I remember
hearing about some of the saleskickoffs at the big corp we used
(35:37):
to work at, uh.
Hearing about some of the saleskickoffs at the big corp we
used to work at uh.
People got lit and they wouldcommit acts of debauchery and
like crash rented sports carsinto fountains, like yeah, and
they didn't get fired for iteither that's insane insane.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
That's why.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
We know one of the people who did that too.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Oh really, we got to talk later.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
I don't know how they got away with it, but they kept
their job.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Speaking of crashing or some sort of like vehicle
accident, we had a.
We had a contractor come in andthey rented a car.
So they flew in, rent a car,came to the office.
We have those spike things inour parking lot.
We're like, because you have tobadge into the parking security
strips, yeah, and so we havethose security strips.
Yeah, they straight up droveover the ones that were up and
(36:39):
had four flats.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
That's an honest mistake Like that one.
They're a contractor, theydon't know Like.
I don't feel so like.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
I mean, there's a stop sign a huge red strip Like
it says do not enter.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Like what are you doing?
Okay, the more detail you'regiving here, the worse it gets.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
It wasn't like a small.
Oh, I'm actually backed over it.
It's like no, you just straightup ignored everything, probably
not paying attention.
It went right through it.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Four flights well, that's rough yeah, that is rough
and expensive.
Uh, hopefully they got thatrental insurance.
Yeah, I'm trying to think Ifeel like I feel like we're
missing a big one that both ofus like lived through, like
there's been some, there's beensome really embarrassing things
that, like our leadership hasdone and I just can't, I can't
muster the memory of it.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Yeah, what about a simple one like spilling
something on yourself and havingto go back to the office from
lunch?
And your pants are justdrenched and you're like yeah,
like this sucks I've seen peoplego home before.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
They're just like I I have to go home you know I'm
not living with this I spiltchowder all over my outfit today
.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
I'm just going home like yeah, I paid a white shirt.
I just dumped my coffee on andnow I have a brown shirt.
I don don't want to be here.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
Wardrobe snafus.
That's something we reallydon't have to worry about
anymore, which is nice.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, I mean, you still go toan office, but as someone who's
fully remote, I have my workshirt on and gym shorts, so I'm
living the dream.
Don't have to worry, I alwaysknow how I look because I see
myself on cam.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
But in live in the dream, don't have to worry.
I always know how I lookbecause I see myself on cam.
But uh, in the olden days,wardrobe could betray people.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Oh yeah you would see like a button undone or a fly
down.
Yeah, yeah, those are tough.
What do you do like?
I mean similar, similar is likeat a restaurant.
They got the big old piece oflettuce stuck between their
teeth hanging down.
They look like a freakingvampire rabbit, you know what do
you do?
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I tell.
I tell the person yeah, I atthe fly thing, because I'm a
dude, I will come and be likehey, flies under, like just
really quick, and then like I'llwalk on dude.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Yes, dude, dude, it's okay, but like what do you?
Do if it's like you know,somebody don't know that.
Well, big old piece of spinachjust dangling, just dangling
yeah or just a booger in thenose boogie yeah, sticking out a
booger in the nose boogers justhanging out of there and you're
like, oh, I want to tell you.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
So bad if I'm not gonna do it yeah the problem
with all those is like, ifyou're in a room with people
like, you can't do it discreetly.
So it's like you, just got tolive with it.
That's tough.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Speaking of being in a room with people, something I
don't miss about office cultureat all is the smells, and this
can go many different ways.
Right, like you've got the Ijust doused myself in some
exotic perfume that's going tocause poor Bruce to have an
allergy attack.
You've got the I work in techand I don't believe in deodorant
(39:46):
and I smell of homelessness.
And then you've got the evenweirder like what is that smell?
Like it's around this person,but I don't know what it is or
someone.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
You burn popcorn in the break room or you eat fish.
You eat fish and you're justlike god damn, who did it?
Speaker 1 (40:12):
who did it and why would you?
I remember they like they toldus not to do popcorn for a while
.
Do you remember that, likethere was a sign up in the break
room like do not cook popcornin the microwave.
Yep, I remember that You'velost privileges, which is just
embarrassing in itself, as likea company full of working
functional adults, like we don'tknow how to cook popcorn.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Yep, yeah, it's so true.
It's so true.
I remember one embarrassingthing I've done.
I was in a meeting room and Ialways I mean I'm drinking out
my water bottle.
This whole entire meeting Idrank a lot of water and I
straight up just knocked mywater bottle over on my keyboard
in the middle of the meeting.
Nice, that was nice.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
Yeah, that was a good one.
Did it pry the keyboard?
Speaker 2 (40:53):
No, it was actually, so I quickly flipped it upside
down, side down your papertowels, it was fine oh nice, I
mean that goes from embarrassingto cool real quick so that's
what I did.
I'm like actually capable.
Yeah, I feel like I just didn'tcare, like I don't know if I
just lost that for for where Iwork, but it was like a super
quick thing and it would havebeen embarrassing, but I was
like paper towel dealt with.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
An hour later everybody was asking me hey, is
your laptop again like it's fineyour reaction dictates the
level of embarrassment andthat's probably why, like the
owgs that just say the weirdracist, sexist stuff, like they
get away with it because, liketheir reaction, I don't care
what I just said.
Like you spill water, you'relike that.
I got this no big deal.
I, I did it intentionally.
Sometimes I spill water tocheck my own reaction times on
(41:35):
things like okay, now you'vetaken it from embarrassing and
turned it into some kind ofweird mastery skill like oh yeah
, you know, I like to burnpopcorn.
It's great for your olfactorysenses.
Actually, it really opens thesinuses.
That's why I do it.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Like, oh well, I guess I'm the idiot then a quick
self-deprecation or a jokediffuses the whole situation
like if you you start choking onwater.
You're like I apparently forgothow to drink water today, Like
everybody's like.
Oh, that's kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
It does deflate the situation real quick.
Okay, I do remember one.
Have we talked about the chairsniffer on this podcast before?
I don't think we have.
It's a classic.
Certain listeners who I'veworked with may remember uh, how
could you forget?
We did have an individual, uh,on the sales team that I was on,
(42:28):
who would go and sniff no, no.
After certain individuals wouldget up and walk away, he would
go and sniff the chairs to seeif he could smell the body scent
(42:50):
of these human beings that heclearly desired in a
non-plotonic way.
Yeah, they were fired for that,but they were caught.
I can't imagine being caughtLike you're bending over nose
deep in the chair, mid-sniff,like you look up and someone
(43:12):
just what face do you make?
Like what face do you make inthat moment when you're?
Seeing someone pop in chair.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
You know you slowly back away and hope they did not
see you.
That is how you react to thatsituation.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
If I walk into a room and that's happening, I'm
slowly walking out yeah, I mean,if I see it, I have to address
it and be like what are youdoing?
You call him out.
It was down there, uh drop apencil looking for a contact, oh
man my mind went to thatactually of like how you pull
(43:52):
that off.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
I was like just every single time, just so you drop
the pen and you're just reachingfor it, give it a quick whiff
on your way down.
You know you can hide that.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
That's your thing, you can hide that I think if
you're face deep in a chair,breathing, breathing, breathing
deep, the spice, the spicemelange, I don't think there's
no recovery.
You can say whatever you want,but I know, we know, everyone
knows, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'stough.
(44:26):
Yeah, it's tough.
Yeah, that's embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Yeah, don't be a chair sniffer.
If you've took anything awayfrom today, don't sniff chairs
call to action for this pod.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
so, on our discord, we've done this thing called is
it me or is it corporate, andyou can do a forward slash
confess, to do an anonymousconfession in that channel.
For for for the next month, Iwant to suspend Is it me or is
it corporate?
And please share the mostembarrassing stories in that
channel.
Just do forward slash, confess,type in your story.
(44:59):
It will completely anonymizewhat you type.
We will not know who you are oror what this is, and it's
probably for the best that wekeep it that way.
Please send us yourembarrassing stories so we can
read them on this pod, becausenow, now that I'm thinking about
the chair sniffer like I'm surefolks have some really
disgusting good ones that Iwould live for some really rich
(45:20):
ones we would.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
We're gonna die.
I'm gonna die laughing everyday that I see one of those.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
It's gonna be the best thing in the world yeah,
what's crazy is I lived throughChair Sniffer and Lobby Pooper
in a year time frame.
Two of the most impactful,weird moments of my corporate
life happened in that tinywindow.
I've talked about Lobby Pooperbefore I think multiple times,
so no need to bring that oneback up.
(45:45):
But you know, it was good atBig Corp.
Things were good.
People felt really comfortable.
That's all I gotta say.
But you know, it was good atBig Corp.
Things were good.
Things were good at Big CorpThings were good.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
People felt really comfortable.
That's all I got to say.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
They sure did.
They sure did you know youbrought the bathroom.
I would say like the onlyembarrassing thing I can think
about the bathroom is like whenyou've failed the art of going
to the bathroom masterfully,Like I do remember.
Like like there was oneindividual who would just like
run into the bathroom like itmight as well have been
(46:14):
screaming and like slam the doorheavy, breathing, just like bro
, this is not like some kind ofolympic sport.
Like let's be professionalabout this, you know.
Like don't pro tip if there'smultiple stalls in the bathroom.
It doesn't matter what bathroomyou're in.
There's multiple stalls.
Always pick the one in the end,unless it is not available, and
(46:38):
then you space.
You do the gaps, give space toyour neighbors, don't pick the
one right next to them, please.
That's embarrassing even theydon't even know who you are, but
they're embarrassed for youbecause you have no etiquette
yeah, I agree and listen.
Some people have medicalconditions but like if you're
sprinting you need to go to adoctor and like get that, yes
(46:58):
you know, uh, the only logic Ican think of is, like, maybe
they're, they're trying to, uh,they've mastered the art of like
the league of legends gameplaybreak, where it's like, oh, I
really gotta go.
But if I hold it long enoughthen, you know, once I'm between
rounds of my, my legal legendsgame, I can run to the toilet,
do my business in like fiveseconds and then run back uh,
(47:20):
which you know, just all kindsof questions about sanitariness
and and all that aside, like,yeah, that's the thing thing
people do.
Maybe they're at mid-meetings.
I gotta do the mid-meeting 26seconds.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
I gotta sprint.
Imagine this is your picture inmy mind.
If you get out of a meeting,it's like we done, we done.
It starts sprinting down thehall the scream is what does it?
Speaker 1 (47:55):
you know you got to get to your next one.
You got to get to it.
So it's like the italian job ofpooping at the work.
I've got 30 seconds.
I've got 30 seconds to doeverything I need to do before I
ask you to my next meeting, andI crap my pants.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
I'm not going to crap my pants if I don't do this
right now.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
I mean, you know, respect, I'm not embarrassed for
you, I'm proud of you for beingable to master your life in
this way, you know?
Just pro tip.
One more pro tip.
Well, one more pro tip, please.
If you see, if you're theperson who's scheduling meetings
and you see that everyoneyou're inviting to your meeting
has a meeting beforehand, givethem a little courtesy, five
(48:41):
minute.
Really, this meeting starts at105 today because I saw everyone
had a meeting beforehand andyou know what they will thank
you.
Not only will they thank you,they'll be like I, like that
Clark guy.
You know he's a stand-up humanbeing.
I didn't go through mydehydration spiral today because
he gave me five minutes to getsome water.
(49:01):
Just a pro tip, you'll lookgood.
You'll look really good to bothupper management and the ICs.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (49:08):
Everyone needs that five minutes.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
Another pro tip, because another embarrassing
thing is when someone gets tooangry or too flustered in a
meeting.
Don't read the temperature ofthe room.
Don't go above the temperature.
If you're the only one goingabove the temperature, it's
awkward for everybody andeveryone's just like.
That's embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Who sets the temperature?
Speaker 2 (49:33):
I think you do it collectively okay, because
sometimes it's some meetings.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Yeah, some meetings need to be intense.
Like sometimes it needs to be alittle bit more like accusatory
in your face, dropping nameswhat did you do?
Why did you mess this up?
But, like, I think it's, it'snot what you're saying, it's how
you're saying it, like ifyou're just screaming and
repeating yourself like abuffoon, not a good book but
(50:00):
like if it's intentional, ifit's meaning agree, use that
temperature in the room and,yeah, just be, just be cool,
just be cool.
Right.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Be cool.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
Be cool.
That's all it is.
Cover yourself in oil.
It's so easy, anyone can do it.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Drip, drip.
I just can't believe you didthat Soaked in oil Did you
shower, while in this had to.
Afterwards.
Speaker 1 (50:31):
Yeah, like they give you a robe, because on the way
back to your room it's like youare covered in oil.
Just, you are like a chickenwing about to go under the
batter, you know?
Yeah, mm-hmm, put me in asteamer, I'm gonna be real tasty
, I'm a tasty little nugget,please, no, well, it's fun,
(50:58):
that's good, good topic.
Yeah, I I really again.
Please send us your stories,please, we need them I need it.
There's never been a bettertime.
Yeah, Need it.
Need it.
How do they join the DiscordClark?
Speaker 2 (51:13):
Well, okay, let me walk you through it.
Okay, all right.
Sure, you're listening to thispodcast.
Somehow we're in your ear hole,you're connected digitally to
something or you've got Elon'schip in your brain.
One of the two Scroll down.
Or use your brain to scrolldown, or, you know, use your
brain to tell it to.
(51:34):
You know, scroll the page alittle bit.
There's something called a linktree, a link tree, and you
click on the link tree and inthe link tree there's a whole
bunch of links and one of themis discord, and you literally
just click the button and youjoin the discord.
It's completely anonymous, somaybe that's a barrier to entry.
You don't have to.
You don't have to out yourself.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
I haven't even out of myself.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
People don't know who I am.
A few people do.
Not a lot of people no clue whoI am, so you can be completely
anonymous.
You can lurk.
We have a lot of people doingthat and that's cool.
Come Enjoy.
Have fun Read about lobbypoopers and chair sniffers.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Get in there.
A lot of good peeps in theretoo, there are.
What else is there Clark?
Speaker 2 (52:15):
There's a whole bunch of stuff.
You can support us by babyonesie.
There's a whole entire store weget nothing from.
You can buy mugs, you can buygear.
You can buy all that stuff andyou can also just you know buy
us so you can contribute to our,our little infographic, but you
don't have up.
By the way, I'm kind of ashamedof you.
You're supposed to have themeter of how much money we've
raised to Pepsi man, and rightnow it's still a zero.
Speaker 1 (52:38):
So let me pull that up right now, real quick.
Let me just oh okay.
Okay, so we've gotten quite afew donations at a whopping zero
right now, but they keep comingin, their nations keep coming.
So maybe by next week, thistime we'll be at zero.
Just you know, you think so.
Stay tuned, stay tuned.
Speaker 2 (52:57):
I think we'll reach the stars there.
I think maybe under commit overdeliver, maybe we'll go
negative, maybe we'll give awaymoney.
Speaker 1 (53:04):
I mean, that is what happens every week on Corporate
Strategy.
The happens every week onCorporate Strategy.
Speaker 2 (53:10):
The podcast is coming in an email.
We're going in the negativetowards it.
I mean, maybe people just don'twant Pepsi man.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
I mean, it's true, pepsi didn't want, pepsi man Do
you see Pepsi man around anymore.
He's gone.
He is in wherever the mascotsgo when they decide.
This ain't putting money theway we thought it would.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
He's out there somewhere in the world RIP.
Speaker 1 (53:36):
Like little Pepsi man has got his little empty Pepsi
can jingling for change insideof the road, shaking it.
We'll work for Pepsi.
Speaker 2 (53:46):
Poor Pepsi man.
We'll bring him back to life.
We'll bring him back what elseyou can?
Uh, you rate our podcast pleasewe love these things yeah, we
need a rating.
Share it with all the people whohave embarrassing stories to
share.
That would be great, because Iwant more stories.
So, please, now's never, neverbeen a better time to say hey,
(54:07):
there's this magical place thatyou can go and you can just say
anonymously anything you'rereally embarrassed about.
Please go do it.
Listen to this episode and godo it and contribute back to the
world some positivity.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
If, if if, if, if, if , if you have someone you work
with that you just think sucks,send them.
Find an episode, because we'vedone over 150 of these things.
Now Find an episode that's likehey, this might address your
issue.
Just say, hey, charlie, I'venever told you this, but like
howdy, howdy, charlie, I can'tstand you, but I think if you
(54:44):
listen to this episode, I'd beable to tolerate you a little
bit more and then share thatepisode with them.
Speaker 2 (54:49):
Just you know yeah, just be like you, kind of suck,
but this podcast will make youbetter.
Speaker 1 (54:55):
It should help, and if it doesn't, then my
assessment was right.
Yeah, say it just like that.
So they're like oh, what Like?
Speaker 2 (55:04):
I need to change yeah .
Yeah, or or actually I've got agreat one.
Say, hey, I just told the mostembarrassing story about you.
Oh my gosh, and be like you,better join, because I'm not,
you're not going to see itanywhere else.
Speaker 1 (55:20):
But all these people know this about you now, yikes,
yikes yikes, I forgot we weren'tsupposed to use personal
details and dropped your name inthere.
Maybe you show up and like denythe whole thing.
Yeah, put your link in there.
Maybe you show up and like denythe whole thing.
Yeah, I put your LinkedIn inthere.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
I hope you don't mind , just wanted to make sure I
added context to the story.
You better get in there andlike, defend yourself.
This is a great plan.
This is a good plan.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
So that's your call to action is share the story and
then send it to the person whoyou shared it with, because, god
help him.
We're going to read it aloud.
Absolutely, I think that's it.
I think that's it All right.
Well, you know, until next time, stop sniffing chairs.
Speaker 2 (56:02):
I'm Bruce.
Speaker 1 (56:05):
And I'm Clark and you're on mute.
We'll see you next week.
Goodbye, If you did something.
I did not hear it.
Speaker 2 (56:17):
I didn't hear it.
This sounds impressive.
I did a really loud sniffBecause it just felt so right.
I don't hear yours either.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
Discord mutes the sniff.
That's sad, that is really sadOkay.
Speaker 2 (56:32):
Hey, for everybody who's still listening, we both
sniffed in the microphone areally long drawn out one just
to set the mood.
Speaker 1 (56:37):
I saw Clark bend over and dig in with his nose like a
hog sniffing a truffle is thistwo episodes in a row?
Speaker 2 (56:47):
a truffle hog has come up and Pepsi man has come
up.
How?
Speaker 1 (56:55):
is this happening?
You're right, I don't know.
My mind is on truffle hogs.
Speaker 2 (57:00):
I want a truffle hog.
Speaker 1 (57:02):
Name him.
Speaker 2 (57:02):
Bert, have him hang out.
Bert the truffle sniffing hogBert, the truffle hog.
He also sniffs chairs.
That's a side gig.
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