August 11, 2025 • 33 mins
We explore physical touch as the final appreciation language and discuss its unique challenges in professional settings.
• Physical touch in the workplace requires careful navigation of boundaries and consent
• Unlike other appreciation languages, touch may function more as an enhancement to other forms of appreciation
• Cultural differences and personal backgrounds significantly influence comfort with workplace physical contact
• Reading body language and respecting non-verbal cues is essential before initiating any physical contact
• Self-awareness about personal hygiene and appropriate forms of touch prevents awkward situations
• Asking permission before physical contact shows respect and creates psychological safety
• Simple alternatives like waves or verbal acknowledgments work well when physical touch isn't appropriate
• Understanding that your relationship with someone doesn't match others' relationships prevents boundary crossing
Join us for our final episode in this series where we'll share afterthoughts and reflections on all five appreciation languages. We'd love your feedback on what you've learned and your own appreciation language – join our Discord through the link in the show notes!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What was that?
That was really weird.
Did you see that?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It froze everything when you brought him into this
chat.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
It was really weird.
And then I typed join and hedidn't join.
That was weird.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
That is weird.
You know what it might be.
The second, he came in and itwas really ominous Huge strike
of lightning, thunderflash,everything Whizbang.
He came in and it was reallyominous Huge strike of lightning
, thunder flash, everything Whizbang.
It's about to pour, I think.
So that usually means myinternet service provider is
about to absolutely crap the bed, so get ready.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Good, I hope it happens right in the middle of
the pod when you're sayingsomething valuable and then I
have fill in because I have.
I have all the clues andunderstanding of languages of
appreciation, yeah well you.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
You're the one who introduced this topic, did the
research, read the book and thenproposed it to your current
workplace.
So you're actually doing allthe work here, you don't?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
really need me.
I take all the credit.
Do none of the work.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Promote meote, me Promote me Please, please, all
right, give me a vibe check.
I feel like we haven't done onein a while.
I got my pinky up.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
All right, I got a vibe check for you.
Welcome back to CorporateStrategy Podcast.
Get up in an email.
I'm Bruce and I'm Clark.
Vibe check, Clark, how youdoing.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Pinkies up.
No, I vibe checked you.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
What about course strategy Podcast?
Get an email.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I'm Bruce, Don't you twist, don't you turn the?
And I'm Clark, I gotta say it.
I can't not say it.
How you doing, clark, don't youtwist?
Turn these tables on me, bruce.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I don't like you mixing things up.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I don't like you forcing me to say Ann Clark
every five seconds.
I don't like you mixing thingsup.
I don't like you forcing me tosay Ann Clark every five seconds
.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I have control over you.
You realize that, right.
All I have to do is say welcomeback to Corporate Strategy
Podcast.
I'm Bruce and I'm Clark.
See, you have no power here.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I can't not say it because you feel so wrong?
Speaker 1 (02:01):
You have no power here.
I own you.
Vibe.
Check how you doing, Clark.
Oh, I'm doing great.
Yeah, I'm happy to be here.
I'm so happy to hear it.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So happy to hear it, you know.
I don't like the way thatyou're talking to me.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, I'm talking to you like Also.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, also, don't touch me.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I'm going to, I'm going to, and you can't stop me.
I know I'm going to do what Iwant to do.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Please don't.
I can tell you something thatphysical touch is not how I feel
appreciated.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Well, we are going to find out if that's true or not.
We're going to find out, aren'twe?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I mean we kind of skipped the vibe check.
But yeah, yeah, doing.
Fine, I'm here, You're there.
What do we do?
It's Friday afternoon.
A storm is about to come.
It's got to be a quickie.
We got so many differentfactors.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
You're fine, right, I'm dead, but let's just move on
.
Let's continue.
It's not worth evaluating mysanity and wellbeing anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I'm looking through the screen at your, the death in
your eyes that you're giving me.
It's not even a smirk, not asmile, just death.
That's all I can see.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I might.
I'm sorry, were you sayingsomething?
I I was looking beyond the veil.
Uh, just I had a flash.
I saw a pale rider on a horse.
Uh, we were walking through theplains of sweden.
There was a windmill.
It's really weird.
Uh, wow, did you give?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
a vibe check already.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'salready all done.
I told everybody you're fine.
I said bruce is fine, his vibecheck is true Toes are good,
he's in the best of moods, hereally loves everything he's
done today and all of it wassuper productive, and he's ready
to kick off the weekend.
That's all.
I think that's what you saidthat whole time.
Be exactly what it said.
(04:06):
Yeah, I agree, I agree, yeah,all right, well, cool.
Well, I guess we hop in.
You know, this is the last ofour appreciation languages, the
last one.
This is it.
I'm sad that it's over.
I know, I mean, we could justkeep making things up and like
one day it will be episode 203and we're on like love.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Language 36 and at that point, who knows?
Yeah, imagine how fun thatwould be.
But yes, this is the last offive.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
This is the last of five and it is, physical Touch,
arguably the most contentiousone.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Why would it be contentious?
I don't understand what couldpossibly go wrong.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
People don't like to be touched.
You know, when you looked at me, the eyes and you said, three
times on the same episode, I'mgonna stroke my fingers through
your hair.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I didn't like my fingers through your hair.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Let's not be weird, I would never stroke I don't like
the verbs you use around me.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
That's what I could tell you yeah, physical, I
choose the best verbs.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, please don't use verbs when you're talking
about physical touch.
It might get a littleaggressive.
But yes, this is the last one.
Physical touch Obviously notvery applicable in a remote
workplace.
We still have another episodeafter this, so nobody gets sad
that this is the lastappreciation language we're
going gonna have like anafterthoughts and a deep dive
into a bunch of different thingsthat came to mind for both of
(05:29):
us as we were going through this.
But physical touch.
So why is it weird in theworkplace, bruce?
Why would physical touch maybebe contentious?
Why would it be iffy?
I think.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
I think it's.
This one, unlike the others, isvery similar to real life,
right, like you don't just gotouching your baggage handler at
the local grocery store whenthey're putting, like, the
peaches into a bag, you don't,like you know, put your hand on
their shoulder and say, hey, bagboy, thanks, like it's weird.
(06:03):
It's weird.
It's's weird in real life, it'sweird in a corporate place.
I think physical touch is one ofthose things where it is a you
know it is.
It is used for intimacy withloved ones, it is used for, uh,
closeness and comfort withfriends and family.
It's something that is not justinvited upon by everyone, even
(06:24):
like high five, right, like whenyou're, when you're at some
kind of big event, festival,whatever, and people like
handing out high five, like eventhat's weird because, like in a
post-pandemic world, I thinkwe're a lot more sensitive to
contact germs, just, you know,any kind of transfer of
(06:44):
potential bacteria.
It wigs people out.
So, like sure, I think.
I think this one interestingbecause it's not so different
from the workplace to irl yeah,yeah, I agree with you.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
It is interesting because it is an appreciation
language as much as it is a lovelanguage, but like very, very
different and I think I can seethat, yeah, like people, people,
this is the lowest one, right,like a lot of people don't
choose this one, but it is oneof the ones that people
sometimes do appreciate and Ithink when you think about the
(07:18):
different things I mean you saidso many it's like it can kind
of get awkward because it's likehigh fives and handshakes
Handshakes are common in thebusiness place.
It's like you see somebody jobwell done, you give them a firm
handshake, you stare them in theeyes.
But I can think of like manytimes where it's gotten weird,
where it's like you kind of goin for a hug and they like stick
out a hand.
Or you go in for a fist bumpand they go in for a handshake
(07:41):
and you're just like I just kindof feel awkward about it.
Or you go in for a full hug andthey go for a side hug and
you're just like this got weirdso quickly.
And when I was thinking aboutit more, I was like you know
this might be not my first, notmy second, but it could be up
(08:01):
there at like my thirdappreciation language which is
interesting as I was thinkingthrough it.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
So you know this about me, but our listeners
probably do not, because they'venever met me in real life.
But one thing I love to do withpeople I'm comfortable with and
people I'm just relativelyfamiliar with is set them up for
the old fist bump and, asthey're coming in, grab the fist
I just love doing it.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I do do that, he does this, he does it all the time I
do it.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I do it all the time and I love the trip that sends
people.
It never produces a not laugh,never.
It's just a funny thing to do.
It's a fun thing to do.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
It's just like doing the thing where they go to give
you like a high five.
You give them the thumb and thepalm out of a turkey.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Or you thumb and the palm out of a turkey or you give
them like squid, you know where, you go underneath their snail
and you just like slideunderneath their fist bump.
It's just funny.
It gets.
It is fun.
Whenever I'm at like corporateevents or, you know, conferences
, if I'm familiarly comfortablewith someone, I always do it and
it always produces a laugh.
They love it.
They love it.
It's a fun thing to do.
I don't know what it has to dowith appreciation, but that's my
thing.
That's the thing that I do.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Well, I think um like if you think back to
traditional pre our generation,like the handshake, firm
handshake, a stare in the eyes,a good shake and said Bruce, I
don't like that you keep sayingin the eye.
Yeah, look you right in theeyes, bruce.
Job on that project.
I'm really impressed I go.
That used to go a long way butobviously the hearty handshake,
(09:30):
yeah, hearty handshake was suchlike a an act of appreciation
back then, but it's kind offaded out over time due to, like
everything you said, the wayyour generation thinks about and
does things different, and alsobecause of covet especially.
It's like you don't really wantto touch people anymore.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
But I'm going back to you.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Know this I like to grab the shoulders you do, you
love to like, just you know, todouble hand on the shoulders.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I don't do hands to hands, you know I, even though I
like to do the the old, the oldcapture claw, they got hand on
hand.
That's how germs get past.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
But, you know, good old hands on shoulders, like
half hug, yeah, that's safe,that's safe zone.
So, when you think about this,like who and why does this go
into appreciation, I think, whenyou think about people's
backgrounds, I think a lot ofpeople are, you know, their
personal love might be physicaltouch and so like they might
just feel loved that way, peoplethat are close around them,
like they're just moretouchy-feely.
There's a lot of people youknow who are like that.
(10:26):
Also, when you think aboutathletes, people who are
formerly in athletics, it's verycommon to, like you know, hug
each other after a big moment,to like have a dog pile when a
big things happens, like it'svery normal to sometimes even
get a good old pat on the buttas you're running out there.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
I knew you were going to go there.
I was waiting for it.
The most HR safe of all of theoptions.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Don't do those in the workplace, but I had to say it
because it's true.
But I think people who areathletes like this is pretty
common Not to say they like it,but that's kind of how you get
close to people and it's funny,as I think about athletics.
There's this football coachthat I like a lot and he always
says this he's like the bodycraves physical contact.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Why does he say that?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Mainly because he's playing the football and they
get very aggressive and he justlikes the aggressiveness of
sports and I absolutely love it.
But I think there's somethingtrue to that.
I think there's something humannature that, like creates
physical touch.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I mean, if you, if you boil down the human
experience into like its baseform, right, touch is a huge
part of it.
Right, cause you cannot createmore humans without touch.
So it is like a base biologicalexperience.
And you think about, you knowhow do you feed children.
You know you think aboutrearing and raising children.
(11:47):
There's lots of touch in thebiological human experience, so
why wouldn't that extend to thesocial experience?
The handshake is weird becauseyou know two of the most
dirtiest parts of our bodycoming together as, as a form of
sort of mutual touch.
(12:08):
But what does it get us this?
This is the thing I don't, whatI truly don't understand.
Like, yeah, there's a comfortto it, but how is it
appreciation?
How am I appreciating you withthe hearty handshake?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I think it is something to what you just said.
I think it's innate in us, likeit's part of the human nature,
it's one of the five senses.
Like I think it's innate in usto do that because it feels
natural.
And I think, when people, whenyou do these things, when you
have that moment to like, let'ssay, you guys just celebrated a
huge launch, everything's supersuccessful, the team's jumping
(12:44):
up and cheering and you giveeach other a spontaneous high
five, some people appreciatethat they're like I feel like
I'm part of the team, I feellike I'm sharing this win with
others, and the physical touchkind of adds to that.
So it's something that somepeople feel like encourages the
moment.
Or when someone come over andgives him a handshake or a pat
(13:05):
on the back or, you know, a grabon the shoulder and be like,
hey, I just want to let you knowI appreciate you.
That adds an extra thing on topof maybe a words of affirmation
, an act of service or somethinglike that.
And that is when people kind oftake it that one step further.
But it can get weird and Ithink, as someone who I, as I
was reflecting on this, I waslike I think this is something I
(13:27):
do a lot and I didn't evenreally think about it where I'll
shake my team's hands all thetime.
I'll come up to them and belike, hey, great to see you
today, like something small likethat.
Or even going for a hug withsome people I've been working
with for a while, because we'vebuilt that personal connection
and I think you know even fistbumps connected with people, and
(13:51):
so I think for this one it'slike really important that you
recognize other people aren'tlike that necessarily, and you
need to very much respectboundaries before you go in and
do that.
So, going back to what we talkedabout earlier, it's like you've
got to observe, you've got tosee if they feel more
introverted, if when you guysare getting close together in a
huddle or something, they stay alittle bit further back, like
respect their space andsomething that, as I was like
(14:14):
thinking through this, I'm likehow do you ask somebody if
you're in like an excitingmoment and you don't know?
And I think an easy way to sayit would be like for me I'd be
like hey, I grew up playingsports.
It was common for us to, youknow, give high fives, hugs.
I know not everyone appreciatesthat, so let me know, because I
value our relationship and Ithink that's something you can
super simply say to me, like areyou okay if I give you a high
(14:35):
five once in a while, or is thatawkward for you?
And if you make it not awkwardand you ask before you do, I
think it makes it okay andacceptable where they're like
you know what?
I'm not a hugger.
I'd prefer if we just didn'ttouch, because I don't like
germs and I'm like okay, that'scool, no worries.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I like that approach.
I like that approach.
I think it's a very.
It probably feels weird tothink about saying it, but it's
one of those things where ifsomeone said that to me, right
and like I don't even think youneed to hey, I played sports
thing.
Because, like, I didn't playsports but I'm I give handshakes
, hugs, fist bumps, the works,right it's.
It's something that if someonesays, hey, would you mind if I?
(15:18):
You know like I'm, I'm big onon physical contact, just as as
my.
It's part of who I am, mypersonality, my, my expression
of language and appreciationwould be okay If I gave you a
handshake or a hug.
I'm like, absolutely bring itat, like it.
It.
There's a, there's a level ofrespect and comfort that I think
comes from someone doing thatto you, because they're
basically saying like, hey, Icare about how you think and how
(15:40):
you feel.
So it might seem awkward forthe person saying it, but truly
it's not.
It's quite the opposite.
You're creating a boundary andshowing that you respect that
person so much that you want toget their approval before doing
anything like nothing morerespectful than that.
So, personally, I love that.
I think that is the way to doit.
(16:00):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah, I think that's and it's everything you just
said.
It's like you're showingrespect to them by doing that,
so it's not weird or awkward, orfor yourself, it's like I
personally want you to feelrespected and I don't want to
cross that line.
So in order to do that, I'masking for that permission, like
we talked about in otherepisodes, and I think that's a
really easy way to do it.
And, to your point, the moreyou're talking about this, the
(16:24):
more it does feel like thatinnate human nature to do
something like this.
Like think about you know, ifsomeone is going through a tough
loss or you know they had to gothrough something really hard.
You know if someone is goingthrough a tough loss or you know
they had to go throughsomething really hard, it's
natural to like extend an arm,put it on their back, so that
you show care and empathy, and Ithink that's really human.
Like I think it's really humanto do that.
And I think that's when, evenwhen you accept award, like
(16:46):
usually you're called up to thestage or whatever.
Maybe you hate that part, butusually whoever is giving you
award like shakes your hand,says some nice things about you,
and I think that's because itis innately human to connect
that way, like it's fine,whatever you said, some words,
but to actually like, touch andfeel the warmth and know that
you're like physically connectedin that moment.
(17:07):
It's like something uniquelyhuman that, I think, shows that
appreciation, or takesappreciation to that next step,
that makes us feel like we'reconnected.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I agree.
I honestly I still strugglewith the appreciation side of
things because for me, thisdoesn't feel like appreciation
as much as it feels like justgeneral human behavior.
Right, like I'm not linking thebecause I don't.
When I, when I meet up with myteam in person, I will give him
(17:37):
a fist bump, give him a hug,whatever, and it's not cause I
appreciate them, it's just, youknow, it's that, it is that
greeting, right, it's that, justthe way we are.
I don't know if I feel moreappreciated, you know, like
that's.
That's what I'm finding the,the, the.
The disconnect in all of thisis it just doesn't feel like
appreciation.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
It feels like comfort , feels like relationships yeah,
you know, maybe one way tothink about it, a hypothetical
for you give it to me if you'vebeen working for someone or with
someone for a while, like Likeyou built this personal
relationship, like you go in,you give them a hug in a group.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
It's so good to see you again.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Versus someone who might be new and not really know
you but still respects you,like you at some length, getting
to know them better, getting toknow their level of work, and
then the next time like you'rearound you give them a hug too,
because you guys have gotten,gotten that level, or you
understand what each other doesor the level of work that each
other does and you're likerespecting each other.
I think a lot of people wouldbe like, yeah, like I was kind
(18:43):
of longing for that hug and I'mhappy bruce went in for it this
time because we built thatrelationship but to your point
is that appreciation, or is thatjust?
Speaker 1 (18:51):
human.
It's just familiarity andcomfort.
Right, that's just human nature.
I just can't think of ascenario where a a hand I mean
like yeah, the the going up onstage winning an award, getting
a handshake but is that theappreciation, or is it the award
itself?
That is the appreciation?
Right, you know, like it feelslike it's a.
It's a, it's an add-on, it's adownloadable content for the
(19:16):
main game, but it's not the gameitself, it's a pack-on, a
microtransaction, if you will.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
You have to pay 99 cents to get this handshake from
Netlify.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
The Hug DLC yes.
It's not included with the basegame.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
The more we're talking about it, it's like this
is one thing that and maybethis is another vector on it
that included with the base game.
Like the more we're talkingabout, it's like this is one
thing, that and maybe this isanother vector on it that like
elevates the appreciation ofother, correct, yes, if the
person is okay with that.
Like it kind of brings humannature into making words of
affirmation more impactful.
Or if someone is doingsomething and you like go and
(19:54):
help them and afterwards youlike high five for a job well
done.
Like it really kind of justelevates almost your personal
human relationship in thatmoment of doing an act of
service or whatever theappreciation language is which
is interesting to think aboutyeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
It is a bonus.
I do want to, or like, tangiblegifts.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Like if I were to give you a gift you'd be like oh
man, that was so thoughtful,clark.
And like then you go in for ahug.
It almost is like a, it'salmost like an additive to the
other appreciation language, toyour point rather than
appreciation itself.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
It's not the main dish.
I do think it's worth taking abrief aside and talking about
the importance of self-awarenesswith physical touch.
Yeah, what do I mean by that?
One good personal hygiene,right?
Yes, like, don't be reaching infor the handshake if you got
(20:51):
one on your hand.
If you just come out of thebathroom and you know your, your
hands have been freshly, youknow they have been freshly
washed, but they're still wet.
If you go over that hand, it'sgonna be weird because you'll be
like why, why is bruce's handwet?
Right same can be said forsmells.
This is important.
Yep, when you are close, youcan be smelled both breath and
(21:13):
body odor.
Make sure you are showering.
Make sure you are close, youcan be smelled both breath and
body odor.
Make sure you are showering.
Make sure you are deodorized,make sure you brushed your teeth
.
There's nothing worse thangoing in for a handshake or a
fist bump or whatever and you'reholding back the gag sensation
because that human being isdisgusting.
So please, please, please, beconsiderate of your personal
(21:35):
hygiene and your just you, whoyou are, before you just start
doing this.
Right, like?
It is definitely something thatI think self awareness is key
on.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Yeah, absolutely.
I actually I love that Because,yeah, it can get really bad if
you do something like that andreally awkward really quick.
And I think the other side ofthat is like awareness as well,
like you've got to read bodylanguage.
If you're in a group of peopleand you're seeing each other for
the first time and someone'sstanding like with their arms
(22:06):
crossed, they probably don'twant you to come over and give
them a big old bear hug and likepick them up and like shake
them like a, like a jolly oldSanta Claus probably don't want
that, right?
so read the room a little bit.
Read their body language, seehow they're.
If, even if you're in a momentof celebration, everyone's
giving high fives, if someone'snot interacting with that and
(22:27):
getting engaged and stickingtheir hand up too, don't go over
to them.
Be like Bruce give me a highfive and like get up all in
their face, because that wouldbe the most awkward thing ever
You've got.
To read their body language.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
It is important to understand your relationship
with someone is not someoneelse's relationship with someone
.
Let's say you see twoco-workers come and give each
other a hug.
That doesn't suddenly mean, oh,hugging is on the table.
For me.
It means no, they have apre-existing relationship and
they're comfortable with thatyou.
They have a pre-existingrelationship and they're
comfortable with that.
You are not them.
You have to assess and doexactly what Clark suggested
earlier and ask the questionbefore going in for the physical
(22:59):
contact.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah, I have an awkward one for you, and
actually we talked about thiswhen we were talking about, like
, sexism in the workplace andepisode way back when this might
get very but the handshakething is sometimes awkward.
I hope it's not just me.
So I'm curious for you.
Like, sometimes you'll go andmeet groups and there will be a
(23:21):
mixed demographic of people.
You'll kind of give handshakesto people and then some people
won't like extend a hand orthey'll feel kind of excluded
and exclusively.
I've had this happen with, likewomen coworkers, where it's
like I shake the guy's hand andlike that's very normal, but
then like the woman won't putout her hand or like I'll kind
of skip over them, which feelsso awkward and like I'm not
(23:42):
doing it intentionally and I tryto make a point to shake
everyone's hand if I'm going toshake one.
So I'm not excluding anybody.
But that's one of those weirdthings that I don't know how you
deal with in the sense of likeif you're meeting a group and
someone doesn't want physicaltouch, how do you still
acknowledge them if you'reshaking hands?
Speaker 1 (23:59):
I I have almost exclusively given up on the
handshake.
Like I mentioned earlier, I dolike the fist bump and that's
that's usually my go-to witheverybody Doesn't, doesn't
matter, uh, gender, anything.
I, I exclusively do fist bumpand most people go along with it
on the off chant like I don'tknow, I don't know how I can
read it pretty well, right, solike, if I'm, if I'm doing a
(24:21):
fist bump, I know they're gonnafist bump me back, yeah.
But usually I kind of read theintroduction beforehand.
Like you know, I'll do a waveand excited, hey, how's it going
.
And if I see them putting outhand, it's like okay, this, I'm
gonna put out mine for the fistbump because I don't want to
shake your hand, uh, for reasonsmentioned earlier, they're
(24:42):
dirty.
So like I, you know I havemastered that and it is, it is
non-exclusive for anybody and itseems to work great.
I've never really found myselfin that situation where it's
like oh, excuse me, oh sorry, ohI don't know what to do.
I've kind of got to read on itand that might be my fortune or
(25:07):
my ability, but sticking withfist bump I've got no issue.
Seems like most people wouldjust want to go along with it
for the most part.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, absolutely, and I think to your point.
It's like, even if you're doingthe fist bump thing or if
you're doing the handshake thing, if, like someone's a little
bit standoffish, it's like, hey,it's so good to see you, it
don't extend something.
But still acknowledge is, likeyou know, I work with a lot of
different demographics,particularly in.
Asia.
Like there is a way to meetsomeone in a business setting
(25:40):
and you've got to be respectfulof that of like the handshake,
sometimes even two handshakes,the taking of the business card,
the reading of the businesscard in front of the person and
then like acknowledging them asthe individual, and so there's
like a a respectful way to meetpeople in certain situations too
.
So I think, as you're meetingpeople or going through this
situation, just keep in mindpeople will yeah, like
(26:04):
culturally could be different,um, human nature could be
different, and they might bemore introverted rather than
extroverted.
And like you just have to bemindful of those things as
you're going through theseinteractions, so you don't
create awkward and potentiallyvery uh weird situations between
you and a group of people.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Completely agree.
Uh, and the culture thing ishuge too.
I've not run into the businesscard one, thank God, because I
don't have business card.
I mean, I do, but I don't bringthem with me.
I just chuck those things rightinto the waste bin, where they
belong.
And uh, you know just, it'sweird, right, like you have to,
you have to play every situationby ear unless you're already
(26:43):
familiar and comfortable.
I think it's especially it'syou have to be on your best
observation when you're in newenvironments, with new people,
and just if.
If you're not good at readingsocial cues, it's okay.
It is always better to play itsafe than it is to play it risky
, right?
Uh, you know just.
(27:03):
Hey, how's it going?
Yeah, little wave, I literallyjust did a wave for those who
can't see me, which is all ofyou, but uh, that works little
wave.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
That's what I was thinking.
The second you did it.
It's like all you got to do islike oh hey, john, nice to meet
you.
Like even if it's not you knowany touch anything.
Like you can just like givethem a little wave, nod your
head, like whatever it is, andlike also acknowledge them by
name, and I think that gets allthe weirdness out of it, where
you don't need to start likemaking out a hug versus a
handshake.
Like don't make it weird.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Little wave is the best way to avoid any of this
confusion whatsoever.
It's universal, yeah, unlessit's not, like you know, in some
country that's in like MiddleEastern Europe, where the wave
actually means go F yourself.
Don't do that in that onespecific scenario, but for the
(27:55):
rest of the world, you're good,you're good 100% agree.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Well, I think we covered it and to your point.
I think it's to me and maybeour listeners feel different.
But it is hard to see this as aprimary appreciation language
in the workplace and even justan appreciation language in
general.
It's almost like it's justadditive, to add the human
element to something that isappreciation to people who are
(28:23):
willing to accept it.
It helps you connect one levelfurther because we're connecting
as humans.
I think that's where you and Iare both kind of landing, and
I'm right there with you.
You kind of talked me into it,but I could totally see it as
like a words of affirmation isgreat, but then a handshake
after or something like thatmakes this more human connection
between us and it makes it alittle more heightened than it
would be otherwise.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
It's especially useful as a threatening device
when you have a podcast host andyou want to verb your fingers
through their noun.
You know, whatever you can usethat as an aggression.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I think if you have to like report something to HR,
the best way to report it is tosay they said they were going to
do a verb to my noun.
That's all you have to say, andthe red flags start popping and
you're going straight to jail.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Straight to jail.
It's like how dare you, howdare you verb my noun?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
It sounds so much worse than actually saying any
physical words that's good.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Good, Be sure to use that.
That's a corporate strategy.
Recommends a Bruce bangers ifyou will.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Oh, that's incredible .
Well, I think we did it.
Well, this is the lastappreciation language.
This feels like more like anadd on or a curve, just like
compensation for CAC.
But we do have one more episodeand this episode is really
going to be kind of theafterthought.
So the retrospective on themany five episodes that we've
done so far, and I have so manylike thoughts and just like
(29:54):
random questions that I want todiscuss with you and also just
see what our listeners think.
So I'm excited to break thatdown in the next episode.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
We would love your participation in this.
So, please, if you've beenlistening, well, if you've been
listening, you've made it thisfar.
But please join the Discord.
If you haven't already, you cango in the show notes, click the
link tree, join the Discord,jump in there, go to the
corporate strategy section ofthe Discord corporate fam and
leave us some feedback.
(30:21):
What do you think about thisseries Like?
What works for you, whatdoesn't?
What is your language ofappreciation?
We want to hear your feedbackand we'll talk through it on the
pod.
So we would love your input onthis for the last episode.
Please, please, please, do thatfor us.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
And if you've told anyone that you'd verb their
nouns and you don't want to outyourself, just put it in the
confessions topic and we'll tellyou.
It's true as a corporate yeah,forward slash.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Confess in the is it me or is it?
Corporate channel is a greatway for you to tell us all of
the weird physical touch storiesyou've got that you are too
ashamed to share with your realname is completely anonymized.
And I mean completely, becauseeven us, the moderators, don't
know.
We get a little little.
Hey, anonymous person hassubmitted X and we do the rest.
(31:06):
We just approve them allbecause they're all juicy and
worth sharing.
So put that in there.
And hey, maybe you have a funnyjoke or meme based on something
you've heard in this episode.
Go to the what Do you Memechannel.
Create a meme of what we'vetalked about today and we will
read it aloud with Clark's mouthparts on the next episode.
So please do that.
(31:27):
Join the discord, join the fam.
It's a good place, it's a funplace.
It's a great place.
We love it here.
It's a safe place.
It's not.
That's the one thing it isn't.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
If you've listened to the show for long enough, you
know that's not true.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
After we're through the Appreciation Series.
I think we've got a couple ofguest pods lined up.
We do so stick around for that,but outside of that, just keep
doing what we always ask you todo Share the pod, review the pod
, love the pod and, if you feelso inclined, help me pay for the
pod.
This podcast was sponsored byme.
(32:03):
Yeah, just him alone.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
I am not contributing financially to this at all.
So if you want to help Bruceand get him out of the financial
hole he's in and the creditcard debt.
Yeah, buy him a coffee.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
I'm in so much debt because of corporate strategy.
Hi I got to take out anotherloan.
The interest is gaining.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
The interest is loan the interest if you consider
you're skiing fast, if youconsider also that time is the
most valuable resource and youspent so much time talking with
me on this podcast.
That's something you'll neverbe able to repay, no matter how
I don't want to think about thatright now do you want to maybe
(32:44):
quit the pod?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Do you want to make episode 169 the true last
episode?
I'll undo all of this.
We'll go back to 169 and I'lldo that.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Unpublish, unpublish each one.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
And then we're going back to 169.
That's it In the dust Gone.
Make me think about my ownmortality.
How dare you.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
This podcast gets deep.
People don't realize it, itsure do.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
It sure do, Well I know, it's Friday, I'm in a
state of existential panic.
You've got more meetings.
Let's not belabor the point.
This is another episode ofCorporate Strategy the podcast
giving an email.
I'm Bruce and I'm Clark.
See, every time, every time.
(33:32):
I can't resist.
Every time.
It's a method of control.
You know what else is undercontrol.
You, the listener, you're onmute, you can't say anything.
I control all of you.
We'll see you next week.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Looking forward to it , Cameron.
What was that?
That was really weird.
Did you see that?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It froze everything when you brought him into this
chat.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
It was really weird.
And then I typed join and hedidn't join.
That was weird.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
That is weird.
You know what it might be.
The second, he came in and itwas really ominous Huge strike
of lightning, thunderflash,everything Whizbang.
He came in and it was reallyominous Huge strike of lightning
, thunder flash, everything Whizbang.
It's about to pour, I think.
So that usually means myinternet service provider is
about to absolutely crap the bed, so get ready.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Good, I hope it happens right in the middle of
the pod when you're sayingsomething valuable and then I
have fill in because I have.
I have all the clues andunderstanding of languages of
appreciation, yeah well you.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
You're the one who introduced this topic, did the
research, read the book and thenproposed it to your current
workplace.
So you're actually doing allthe work here, you don't?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
really need me.
I take all the credit.
Do none of the work.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Promote meote, me Promote me Please, please, all
right, give me a vibe check.
I feel like we haven't done onein a while.
I got my pinky up.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
All right, I got a vibe check for you.
Welcome back to CorporateStrategy Podcast.
Get up in an email.
I'm Bruce and I'm Clark.
Vibe check, Clark, how youdoing.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Pinkies up.
No, I vibe checked you.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
What about course strategy Podcast?
Get an email.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I'm Bruce, Don't you twist, don't you turn the?
And I'm Clark, I gotta say it.
I can't not say it.
How you doing, clark, don't youtwist?
Turn these tables on me, bruce.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I don't like you mixing things up.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I don't like you forcing me to say Ann Clark
every five seconds.
I don't like you mixing thingsup.
I don't like you forcing me tosay Ann Clark every five seconds
.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I have control over you.
You realize that, right.
All I have to do is say welcomeback to Corporate Strategy
Podcast.
I'm Bruce and I'm Clark.
See, you have no power here.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I can't not say it because you feel so wrong?
Speaker 1 (02:01):
You have no power here.
I own you.
Vibe.
Check how you doing, Clark.
Oh, I'm doing great.
Yeah, I'm happy to be here.
I'm so happy to hear it.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So happy to hear it, you know.
I don't like the way thatyou're talking to me.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, I'm talking to you like Also.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, also, don't touch me.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I'm going to, I'm going to, and you can't stop me.
I know I'm going to do what Iwant to do.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Please don't.
I can tell you something thatphysical touch is not how I feel
appreciated.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Well, we are going to find out if that's true or not.
We're going to find out, aren'twe?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I mean we kind of skipped the vibe check.
But yeah, yeah, doing.
Fine, I'm here, You're there.
What do we do?
It's Friday afternoon.
A storm is about to come.
It's got to be a quickie.
We got so many differentfactors.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
You're fine, right, I'm dead, but let's just move on
.
Let's continue.
It's not worth evaluating mysanity and wellbeing anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I'm looking through the screen at your, the death in
your eyes that you're giving me.
It's not even a smirk, not asmile, just death.
That's all I can see.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I might.
I'm sorry, were you sayingsomething?
I I was looking beyond the veil.
Uh, just I had a flash.
I saw a pale rider on a horse.
Uh, we were walking through theplains of sweden.
There was a windmill.
It's really weird.
Uh, wow, did you give?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
a vibe check already.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'salready all done.
I told everybody you're fine.
I said bruce is fine, his vibecheck is true Toes are good,
he's in the best of moods, hereally loves everything he's
done today and all of it wassuper productive, and he's ready
to kick off the weekend.
That's all.
I think that's what you saidthat whole time.
Be exactly what it said.
(04:06):
Yeah, I agree, I agree, yeah,all right, well, cool.
Well, I guess we hop in.
You know, this is the last ofour appreciation languages, the
last one.
This is it.
I'm sad that it's over.
I know, I mean, we could justkeep making things up and like
one day it will be episode 203and we're on like love.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Language 36 and at that point, who knows?
Yeah, imagine how fun thatwould be.
But yes, this is the last offive.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
This is the last of five and it is, physical Touch,
arguably the most contentiousone.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Why would it be contentious?
I don't understand what couldpossibly go wrong.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
People don't like to be touched.
You know, when you looked at me, the eyes and you said, three
times on the same episode, I'mgonna stroke my fingers through
your hair.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I didn't like my fingers through your hair.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Let's not be weird, I would never stroke I don't like
the verbs you use around me.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
That's what I could tell you yeah, physical, I
choose the best verbs.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, please don't use verbs when you're talking
about physical touch.
It might get a littleaggressive.
But yes, this is the last one.
Physical touch Obviously notvery applicable in a remote
workplace.
We still have another episodeafter this, so nobody gets sad
that this is the lastappreciation language we're
going gonna have like anafterthoughts and a deep dive
into a bunch of different thingsthat came to mind for both of
(05:29):
us as we were going through this.
But physical touch.
So why is it weird in theworkplace, bruce?
Why would physical touch maybebe contentious?
Why would it be iffy?
I think.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
I think it's.
This one, unlike the others, isvery similar to real life,
right, like you don't just gotouching your baggage handler at
the local grocery store whenthey're putting, like, the
peaches into a bag, you don't,like you know, put your hand on
their shoulder and say, hey, bagboy, thanks, like it's weird.
(06:03):
It's weird.
It's's weird in real life, it'sweird in a corporate place.
I think physical touch is one ofthose things where it is a you
know it is.
It is used for intimacy withloved ones, it is used for, uh,
closeness and comfort withfriends and family.
It's something that is not justinvited upon by everyone, even
(06:24):
like high five, right, like whenyou're, when you're at some
kind of big event, festival,whatever, and people like
handing out high five, like eventhat's weird because, like in a
post-pandemic world, I thinkwe're a lot more sensitive to
contact germs, just, you know,any kind of transfer of
(06:44):
potential bacteria.
It wigs people out.
So, like sure, I think.
I think this one interestingbecause it's not so different
from the workplace to irl yeah,yeah, I agree with you.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
It is interesting because it is an appreciation
language as much as it is a lovelanguage, but like very, very
different and I think I can seethat, yeah, like people, people,
this is the lowest one, right,like a lot of people don't
choose this one, but it is oneof the ones that people
sometimes do appreciate and Ithink when you think about the
(07:18):
different things I mean you saidso many it's like it can kind
of get awkward because it's likehigh fives and handshakes
Handshakes are common in thebusiness place.
It's like you see somebody jobwell done, you give them a firm
handshake, you stare them in theeyes.
But I can think of like manytimes where it's gotten weird,
where it's like you kind of goin for a hug and they like stick
out a hand.
Or you go in for a fist bumpand they go in for a handshake
(07:41):
and you're just like I just kindof feel awkward about it.
Or you go in for a full hug andthey go for a side hug and
you're just like this got weirdso quickly.
And when I was thinking aboutit more, I was like you know
this might be not my first, notmy second, but it could be up
(08:01):
there at like my thirdappreciation language which is
interesting as I was thinkingthrough it.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
So you know this about me, but our listeners
probably do not, because they'venever met me in real life.
But one thing I love to do withpeople I'm comfortable with and
people I'm just relativelyfamiliar with is set them up for
the old fist bump and, asthey're coming in, grab the fist
I just love doing it.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I do do that, he does this, he does it all the time I
do it.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I do it all the time and I love the trip that sends
people.
It never produces a not laugh,never.
It's just a funny thing to do.
It's a fun thing to do.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
It's just like doing the thing where they go to give
you like a high five.
You give them the thumb and thepalm out of a turkey.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Or you thumb and the palm out of a turkey or you give
them like squid, you know where, you go underneath their snail
and you just like slideunderneath their fist bump.
It's just funny.
It gets.
It is fun.
Whenever I'm at like corporateevents or, you know, conferences
, if I'm familiarly comfortablewith someone, I always do it and
it always produces a laugh.
They love it.
They love it.
It's a fun thing to do.
I don't know what it has to dowith appreciation, but that's my
thing.
That's the thing that I do.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Well, I think um like if you think back to
traditional pre our generation,like the handshake, firm
handshake, a stare in the eyes,a good shake and said Bruce, I
don't like that you keep sayingin the eye.
Yeah, look you right in theeyes, bruce.
Job on that project.
I'm really impressed I go.
That used to go a long way butobviously the hearty handshake,
(09:30):
yeah, hearty handshake was suchlike a an act of appreciation
back then, but it's kind offaded out over time due to, like
everything you said, the wayyour generation thinks about and
does things different, and alsobecause of covet especially.
It's like you don't really wantto touch people anymore.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
But I'm going back to you.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Know this I like to grab the shoulders you do, you
love to like, just you know, todouble hand on the shoulders.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I don't do hands to hands, you know I, even though I
like to do the the old, the oldcapture claw, they got hand on
hand.
That's how germs get past.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
But, you know, good old hands on shoulders, like
half hug, yeah, that's safe,that's safe zone.
So, when you think about this,like who and why does this go
into appreciation, I think, whenyou think about people's
backgrounds, I think a lot ofpeople are, you know, their
personal love might be physicaltouch and so like they might
just feel loved that way, peoplethat are close around them,
like they're just moretouchy-feely.
There's a lot of people youknow who are like that.
(10:26):
Also, when you think aboutathletes, people who are
formerly in athletics, it's verycommon to, like you know, hug
each other after a big moment,to like have a dog pile when a
big things happens, like it'svery normal to sometimes even
get a good old pat on the buttas you're running out there.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
I knew you were going to go there.
I was waiting for it.
The most HR safe of all of theoptions.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Don't do those in the workplace, but I had to say it
because it's true.
But I think people who areathletes like this is pretty
common Not to say they like it,but that's kind of how you get
close to people and it's funny,as I think about athletics.
There's this football coachthat I like a lot and he always
says this he's like the bodycraves physical contact.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Why does he say that?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Mainly because he's playing the football and they
get very aggressive and he justlikes the aggressiveness of
sports and I absolutely love it.
But I think there's somethingtrue to that.
I think there's something humannature that, like creates
physical touch.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I mean, if you, if you boil down the human
experience into like its baseform, right, touch is a huge
part of it.
Right, cause you cannot createmore humans without touch.
So it is like a base biologicalexperience.
And you think about, you knowhow do you feed children.
You know you think aboutrearing and raising children.
(11:47):
There's lots of touch in thebiological human experience, so
why wouldn't that extend to thesocial experience?
The handshake is weird becauseyou know two of the most
dirtiest parts of our bodycoming together as, as a form of
sort of mutual touch.
(12:08):
But what does it get us this?
This is the thing I don't, whatI truly don't understand.
Like, yeah, there's a comfortto it, but how is it
appreciation?
How am I appreciating you withthe hearty handshake?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I think it is something to what you just said.
I think it's innate in us, likeit's part of the human nature,
it's one of the five senses.
Like I think it's innate in usto do that because it feels
natural.
And I think, when people, whenyou do these things, when you
have that moment to like, let'ssay, you guys just celebrated a
huge launch, everything's supersuccessful, the team's jumping
(12:44):
up and cheering and you giveeach other a spontaneous high
five, some people appreciatethat they're like I feel like
I'm part of the team, I feellike I'm sharing this win with
others, and the physical touchkind of adds to that.
So it's something that somepeople feel like encourages the
moment.
Or when someone come over andgives him a handshake or a pat
(13:05):
on the back or, you know, a grabon the shoulder and be like,
hey, I just want to let you knowI appreciate you.
That adds an extra thing on topof maybe a words of affirmation
, an act of service or somethinglike that.
And that is when people kind oftake it that one step further.
But it can get weird and Ithink, as someone who I, as I
was reflecting on this, I waslike I think this is something I
(13:27):
do a lot and I didn't evenreally think about it where I'll
shake my team's hands all thetime.
I'll come up to them and belike, hey, great to see you
today, like something small likethat.
Or even going for a hug withsome people I've been working
with for a while, because we'vebuilt that personal connection
and I think you know even fistbumps connected with people, and
(13:51):
so I think for this one it'slike really important that you
recognize other people aren'tlike that necessarily, and you
need to very much respectboundaries before you go in and
do that.
So, going back to what we talkedabout earlier, it's like you've
got to observe, you've got tosee if they feel more
introverted, if when you guysare getting close together in a
huddle or something, they stay alittle bit further back, like
respect their space andsomething that, as I was like
(14:14):
thinking through this, I'm likehow do you ask somebody if
you're in like an excitingmoment and you don't know?
And I think an easy way to sayit would be like for me I'd be
like hey, I grew up playingsports.
It was common for us to, youknow, give high fives, hugs.
I know not everyone appreciatesthat, so let me know, because I
value our relationship and Ithink that's something you can
super simply say to me, like areyou okay if I give you a high
(14:35):
five once in a while, or is thatawkward for you?
And if you make it not awkwardand you ask before you do, I
think it makes it okay andacceptable where they're like
you know what?
I'm not a hugger.
I'd prefer if we just didn'ttouch, because I don't like
germs and I'm like okay, that'scool, no worries.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I like that approach.
I like that approach.
I think it's a very.
It probably feels weird tothink about saying it, but it's
one of those things where ifsomeone said that to me, right
and like I don't even think youneed to hey, I played sports
thing.
Because, like, I didn't playsports but I'm I give handshakes
, hugs, fist bumps, the works,right it's.
It's something that if someonesays, hey, would you mind if I?
(15:18):
You know like I'm, I'm big onon physical contact, just as as
my.
It's part of who I am, mypersonality, my, my expression
of language and appreciationwould be okay If I gave you a
handshake or a hug.
I'm like, absolutely bring itat, like it.
It.
There's a, there's a level ofrespect and comfort that I think
comes from someone doing thatto you, because they're
basically saying like, hey, Icare about how you think and how
(15:40):
you feel.
So it might seem awkward forthe person saying it, but truly
it's not.
It's quite the opposite.
You're creating a boundary andshowing that you respect that
person so much that you want toget their approval before doing
anything like nothing morerespectful than that.
So, personally, I love that.
I think that is the way to doit.
(16:00):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah, I think that's and it's everything you just
said.
It's like you're showingrespect to them by doing that,
so it's not weird or awkward, orfor yourself, it's like I
personally want you to feelrespected and I don't want to
cross that line.
So in order to do that, I'masking for that permission, like
we talked about in otherepisodes, and I think that's a
really easy way to do it.
And, to your point, the moreyou're talking about this, the
(16:24):
more it does feel like thatinnate human nature to do
something like this.
Like think about you know, ifsomeone is going through a tough
loss or you know they had to gothrough something really hard.
You know if someone is goingthrough a tough loss or you know
they had to go throughsomething really hard, it's
natural to like extend an arm,put it on their back, so that
you show care and empathy, and Ithink that's really human.
Like I think it's really humanto do that.
And I think that's when, evenwhen you accept award, like
(16:46):
usually you're called up to thestage or whatever.
Maybe you hate that part, butusually whoever is giving you
award like shakes your hand,says some nice things about you,
and I think that's because itis innately human to connect
that way, like it's fine,whatever you said, some words,
but to actually like, touch andfeel the warmth and know that
you're like physically connectedin that moment.
(17:07):
It's like something uniquelyhuman that, I think, shows that
appreciation, or takesappreciation to that next step,
that makes us feel like we'reconnected.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I agree.
I honestly I still strugglewith the appreciation side of
things because for me, thisdoesn't feel like appreciation
as much as it feels like justgeneral human behavior.
Right, like I'm not linking thebecause I don't.
When I, when I meet up with myteam in person, I will give him
(17:37):
a fist bump, give him a hug,whatever, and it's not cause I
appreciate them, it's just, youknow, it's that, it is that
greeting, right, it's that, justthe way we are.
I don't know if I feel moreappreciated, you know, like
that's.
That's what I'm finding the,the, the.
The disconnect in all of thisis it just doesn't feel like
appreciation.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
It feels like comfort , feels like relationships yeah,
you know, maybe one way tothink about it, a hypothetical
for you give it to me if you'vebeen working for someone or with
someone for a while, like Likeyou built this personal
relationship, like you go in,you give them a hug in a group.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
It's so good to see you again.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Versus someone who might be new and not really know
you but still respects you,like you at some length, getting
to know them better, getting toknow their level of work, and
then the next time like you'rearound you give them a hug too,
because you guys have gotten,gotten that level, or you
understand what each other doesor the level of work that each
other does and you're likerespecting each other.
I think a lot of people wouldbe like, yeah, like I was kind
(18:43):
of longing for that hug and I'mhappy bruce went in for it this
time because we built thatrelationship but to your point
is that appreciation, or is thatjust?
Speaker 1 (18:51):
human.
It's just familiarity andcomfort.
Right, that's just human nature.
I just can't think of ascenario where a a hand I mean
like yeah, the the going up onstage winning an award, getting
a handshake but is that theappreciation, or is it the award
itself?
That is the appreciation?
Right, you know, like it feelslike it's a.
It's a, it's an add-on, it's adownloadable content for the
(19:16):
main game, but it's not the gameitself, it's a pack-on, a
microtransaction, if you will.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
You have to pay 99 cents to get this handshake from
Netlify.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
The Hug DLC yes.
It's not included with the basegame.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
The more we're talking about it, it's like this
is one thing that and maybethis is another vector on it
that included with the base game.
Like the more we're talkingabout, it's like this is one
thing, that and maybe this isanother vector on it that like
elevates the appreciation ofother, correct, yes, if the
person is okay with that.
Like it kind of brings humannature into making words of
affirmation more impactful.
Or if someone is doingsomething and you like go and
(19:54):
help them and afterwards youlike high five for a job well
done.
Like it really kind of justelevates almost your personal
human relationship in thatmoment of doing an act of
service or whatever theappreciation language is which
is interesting to think aboutyeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
It is a bonus.
I do want to, or like, tangiblegifts.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Like if I were to give you a gift you'd be like oh
man, that was so thoughtful,clark.
And like then you go in for ahug.
It almost is like a, it'salmost like an additive to the
other appreciation language, toyour point rather than
appreciation itself.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
It's not the main dish.
I do think it's worth taking abrief aside and talking about
the importance of self-awarenesswith physical touch.
Yeah, what do I mean by that?
One good personal hygiene,right?
Yes, like, don't be reaching infor the handshake if you got
(20:51):
one on your hand.
If you just come out of thebathroom and you know your, your
hands have been freshly, youknow they have been freshly
washed, but they're still wet.
If you go over that hand, it'sgonna be weird because you'll be
like why, why is bruce's handwet?
Right same can be said forsmells.
This is important.
Yep, when you are close, youcan be smelled both breath and
(21:13):
body odor.
Make sure you are showering.
Make sure you are close, youcan be smelled both breath and
body odor.
Make sure you are showering.
Make sure you are deodorized,make sure you brushed your teeth
.
There's nothing worse thangoing in for a handshake or a
fist bump or whatever and you'reholding back the gag sensation
because that human being isdisgusting.
So please, please, please, beconsiderate of your personal
(21:35):
hygiene and your just you, whoyou are, before you just start
doing this.
Right, like?
It is definitely something thatI think self awareness is key
on.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Yeah, absolutely.
I actually I love that Because,yeah, it can get really bad if
you do something like that andreally awkward really quick.
And I think the other side ofthat is like awareness as well,
like you've got to read bodylanguage.
If you're in a group of peopleand you're seeing each other for
the first time and someone'sstanding like with their arms
(22:06):
crossed, they probably don'twant you to come over and give
them a big old bear hug and likepick them up and like shake
them like a, like a jolly oldSanta Claus probably don't want
that, right?
so read the room a little bit.
Read their body language, seehow they're.
If, even if you're in a momentof celebration, everyone's
giving high fives, if someone'snot interacting with that and
(22:27):
getting engaged and stickingtheir hand up too, don't go over
to them.
Be like Bruce give me a highfive and like get up all in
their face, because that wouldbe the most awkward thing ever
You've got.
To read their body language.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
It is important to understand your relationship
with someone is not someoneelse's relationship with someone
.
Let's say you see twoco-workers come and give each
other a hug.
That doesn't suddenly mean, oh,hugging is on the table.
For me.
It means no, they have apre-existing relationship and
they're comfortable with thatyou.
They have a pre-existingrelationship and they're
comfortable with that.
You are not them.
You have to assess and doexactly what Clark suggested
earlier and ask the questionbefore going in for the physical
(22:59):
contact.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah, I have an awkward one for you, and
actually we talked about thiswhen we were talking about, like
, sexism in the workplace andepisode way back when this might
get very but the handshakething is sometimes awkward.
I hope it's not just me.
So I'm curious for you.
Like, sometimes you'll go andmeet groups and there will be a
(23:21):
mixed demographic of people.
You'll kind of give handshakesto people and then some people
won't like extend a hand orthey'll feel kind of excluded
and exclusively.
I've had this happen with, likewomen coworkers, where it's
like I shake the guy's hand andlike that's very normal, but
then like the woman won't putout her hand or like I'll kind
of skip over them, which feelsso awkward and like I'm not
(23:42):
doing it intentionally and I tryto make a point to shake
everyone's hand if I'm going toshake one.
So I'm not excluding anybody.
But that's one of those weirdthings that I don't know how you
deal with in the sense of likeif you're meeting a group and
someone doesn't want physicaltouch, how do you still
acknowledge them if you'reshaking hands?
Speaker 1 (23:59):
I I have almost exclusively given up on the
handshake.
Like I mentioned earlier, I dolike the fist bump and that's
that's usually my go-to witheverybody Doesn't, doesn't
matter, uh, gender, anything.
I, I exclusively do fist bumpand most people go along with it
on the off chant like I don'tknow, I don't know how I can
read it pretty well, right, solike, if I'm, if I'm doing a
(24:21):
fist bump, I know they're gonnafist bump me back, yeah.
But usually I kind of read theintroduction beforehand.
Like you know, I'll do a waveand excited, hey, how's it going
.
And if I see them putting outhand, it's like okay, this, I'm
gonna put out mine for the fistbump because I don't want to
shake your hand, uh, for reasonsmentioned earlier, they're
(24:42):
dirty.
So like I, you know I havemastered that and it is, it is
non-exclusive for anybody and itseems to work great.
I've never really found myselfin that situation where it's
like oh, excuse me, oh sorry, ohI don't know what to do.
I've kind of got to read on itand that might be my fortune or
(25:07):
my ability, but sticking withfist bump I've got no issue.
Seems like most people wouldjust want to go along with it
for the most part.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, absolutely, and I think to your point.
It's like, even if you're doingthe fist bump thing or if
you're doing the handshake thing, if, like someone's a little
bit standoffish, it's like, hey,it's so good to see you, it
don't extend something.
But still acknowledge is, likeyou know, I work with a lot of
different demographics,particularly in.
Asia.
Like there is a way to meetsomeone in a business setting
(25:40):
and you've got to be respectfulof that of like the handshake,
sometimes even two handshakes,the taking of the business card,
the reading of the businesscard in front of the person and
then like acknowledging them asthe individual, and so there's
like a a respectful way to meetpeople in certain situations too
.
So I think, as you're meetingpeople or going through this
situation, just keep in mindpeople will yeah, like
(26:04):
culturally could be different,um, human nature could be
different, and they might bemore introverted rather than
extroverted.
And like you just have to bemindful of those things as
you're going through theseinteractions, so you don't
create awkward and potentiallyvery uh weird situations between
you and a group of people.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Completely agree.
Uh, and the culture thing ishuge too.
I've not run into the businesscard one, thank God, because I
don't have business card.
I mean, I do, but I don't bringthem with me.
I just chuck those things rightinto the waste bin, where they
belong.
And uh, you know just, it'sweird, right, like you have to,
you have to play every situationby ear unless you're already
(26:43):
familiar and comfortable.
I think it's especially it'syou have to be on your best
observation when you're in newenvironments, with new people,
and just if.
If you're not good at readingsocial cues, it's okay.
It is always better to play itsafe than it is to play it risky
, right?
Uh, you know just.
(27:03):
Hey, how's it going?
Yeah, little wave, I literallyjust did a wave for those who
can't see me, which is all ofyou, but uh, that works little
wave.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
That's what I was thinking.
The second you did it.
It's like all you got to do islike oh hey, john, nice to meet
you.
Like even if it's not you knowany touch anything.
Like you can just like givethem a little wave, nod your
head, like whatever it is, andlike also acknowledge them by
name, and I think that gets allthe weirdness out of it, where
you don't need to start likemaking out a hug versus a
handshake.
Like don't make it weird.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Little wave is the best way to avoid any of this
confusion whatsoever.
It's universal, yeah, unlessit's not, like you know, in some
country that's in like MiddleEastern Europe, where the wave
actually means go F yourself.
Don't do that in that onespecific scenario, but for the
(27:55):
rest of the world, you're good,you're good 100% agree.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Well, I think we covered it and to your point.
I think it's to me and maybeour listeners feel different.
But it is hard to see this as aprimary appreciation language
in the workplace and even justan appreciation language in
general.
It's almost like it's justadditive, to add the human
element to something that isappreciation to people who are
(28:23):
willing to accept it.
It helps you connect one levelfurther because we're connecting
as humans.
I think that's where you and Iare both kind of landing, and
I'm right there with you.
You kind of talked me into it,but I could totally see it as
like a words of affirmation isgreat, but then a handshake
after or something like thatmakes this more human connection
between us and it makes it alittle more heightened than it
would be otherwise.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
It's especially useful as a threatening device
when you have a podcast host andyou want to verb your fingers
through their noun.
You know, whatever you can usethat as an aggression.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I think if you have to like report something to HR,
the best way to report it is tosay they said they were going to
do a verb to my noun.
That's all you have to say, andthe red flags start popping and
you're going straight to jail.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Straight to jail.
It's like how dare you, howdare you verb my noun?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
It sounds so much worse than actually saying any
physical words that's good.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Good, Be sure to use that.
That's a corporate strategy.
Recommends a Bruce bangers ifyou will.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Oh, that's incredible .
Well, I think we did it.
Well, this is the lastappreciation language.
This feels like more like anadd on or a curve, just like
compensation for CAC.
But we do have one more episodeand this episode is really
going to be kind of theafterthought.
So the retrospective on themany five episodes that we've
done so far, and I have so manylike thoughts and just like
(29:54):
random questions that I want todiscuss with you and also just
see what our listeners think.
So I'm excited to break thatdown in the next episode.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
We would love your participation in this.
So, please, if you've beenlistening, well, if you've been
listening, you've made it thisfar.
But please join the Discord.
If you haven't already, you cango in the show notes, click the
link tree, join the Discord,jump in there, go to the
corporate strategy section ofthe Discord corporate fam and
leave us some feedback.
(30:21):
What do you think about thisseries Like?
What works for you, whatdoesn't?
What is your language ofappreciation?
We want to hear your feedbackand we'll talk through it on the
pod.
So we would love your input onthis for the last episode.
Please, please, please, do thatfor us.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
And if you've told anyone that you'd verb their
nouns and you don't want to outyourself, just put it in the
confessions topic and we'll tellyou.
It's true as a corporate yeah,forward slash.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Confess in the is it me or is it?
Corporate channel is a greatway for you to tell us all of
the weird physical touch storiesyou've got that you are too
ashamed to share with your realname is completely anonymized.
And I mean completely, becauseeven us, the moderators, don't
know.
We get a little little.
Hey, anonymous person hassubmitted X and we do the rest.
(31:06):
We just approve them allbecause they're all juicy and
worth sharing.
So put that in there.
And hey, maybe you have a funnyjoke or meme based on something
you've heard in this episode.
Go to the what Do you Memechannel.
Create a meme of what we'vetalked about today and we will
read it aloud with Clark's mouthparts on the next episode.
So please do that.
(31:27):
Join the discord, join the fam.
It's a good place, it's a funplace.
It's a great place.
We love it here.
It's a safe place.
It's not.
That's the one thing it isn't.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
If you've listened to the show for long enough, you
know that's not true.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
After we're through the Appreciation Series.
I think we've got a couple ofguest pods lined up.
We do so stick around for that,but outside of that, just keep
doing what we always ask you todo Share the pod, review the pod
, love the pod and, if you feelso inclined, help me pay for the
pod.
This podcast was sponsored byme.
(32:03):
Yeah, just him alone.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
I am not contributing financially to this at all.
So if you want to help Bruceand get him out of the financial
hole he's in and the creditcard debt.
Yeah, buy him a coffee.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
I'm in so much debt because of corporate strategy.
Hi I got to take out anotherloan.
The interest is gaining.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
The interest is loan the interest if you consider
you're skiing fast, if youconsider also that time is the
most valuable resource and youspent so much time talking with
me on this podcast.
That's something you'll neverbe able to repay, no matter how
I don't want to think about thatright now do you want to maybe
(32:44):
quit the pod?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Do you want to make episode 169 the true last
episode?
I'll undo all of this.
We'll go back to 169 and I'lldo that.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Unpublish, unpublish each one.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
And then we're going back to 169.
That's it In the dust Gone.
Make me think about my ownmortality.
How dare you.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
This podcast gets deep.
People don't realize it, itsure do.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
It sure do, Well I know, it's Friday, I'm in a
state of existential panic.
You've got more meetings.
Let's not belabor the point.
This is another episode ofCorporate Strategy the podcast
giving an email.
I'm Bruce and I'm Clark.
See, every time, every time.
(33:32):
I can't resist.
Every time.
It's a method of control.
You know what else is undercontrol.
You, the listener, you're onmute, you can't say anything.
I control all of you.
We'll see you next week.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Looking forward to it , Cameron.
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