Episode #24 - From Shame to Healing: A New Approach to Pornography Recovery with Clay Olsen

In this deeply compassionate and hopeful conversation, Curtis Morley interviews Clay Olsen, co-founder of Fight the New Drug, about the realities of pornography consumption, its neurological and societal impacts, and—most importantly—the path to genuine recovery.

Clay shares the origin story of his work, including early research, cultural shifts fueled by technology, and the growth of shame-free education about porn’s consequences. Together, Curtis and Clay explore the difference between shame and guilt, how shame perpetuates addiction, and why guilt acts as a healthy compass back to one’s values.

The episode emphasizes that pornography struggles are common, human, and solvable. They discuss recovery vs. sobriety, the importance of vulnerability, and the power of community support. Clay shares inspiring stories from group meetings, school assemblies, and messages from individuals who believed they were broken—until they found hope, support, and peace. The conversation concludes with an invitation for listeners to step into the light, reject shame, and begin the journey toward a life grounded in connection, purpose, and real peace.

Key Themes & Takeaways

Shame vs. Guilt — Opposites, Not Synonyms

• Shame = “I am bad” → leads to secrecy, isolation, addiction continuation. 
• Guilt = “I did something misaligned with my values” → motivates course correction.

Pornography Struggles Are Universal, Not Isolating

• The vast majority of men and many women have viewed pornography. It’s not an anomaly or moral failure.
  

Hope Is the Foundation of Recovery

• People who overcome porn share one trait: they believe recovery is possible. Losing hope undermines the process.
  

Sobriety ≠ Recovery

• Sobriety = time without acting out
• Recovery = inner healing, depth, uncovering and resolving root issues
• Time (sobriety) becomes a byproduct of recovery—not the objective.
  

Vulnerability Breaks the Addiction Cycle

• Bringing struggles into the light is almost always met with compassion, not rejection.
• Silence, secrecy, and judgment are the “ingredients” that perpetuate addiction.
  

Cultural Shifts in Pornography

• Porn is more accessible and socially accepted than ever.
• Yet science clearly shows negative individual, relational, and societal impacts.
  

The Power of Community

• Support groups are filled with “generals”—men who exude strength and light. Clay describes their courage with awe.
  

Peace Is Real and Attainable

• The “valley of peace” is not a myth; countless people have reached it. 

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