January 1, 2025 • 21 mins
This week on Couple Goals, we open up about the emotional highs and lows of our IVF journey while embracing the chaos of life in Mexico! 🌍💉
Here’s what you’ll hear:
- Our thoughts and feelings after going public with our IVF struggles.
- The emotional and physical challenges of IVF—plus some surprising humor!
- A Reddit story about a partner’s questionable stance on infertility sparks a deep conversation.
- Adjusting to life on the road, tacos, and juggling 30k runs with boat days in Puerto Vallarta.
It’s a mix of raw honesty, laughs, and real talk about the ups and downs of relationships, family planning, and adventure. Tune in now for a heartfelt and entertaining episode!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So. My stars welcome back bien Moi
bien Moi bien. We're going to do this whole
episode in Spanish, so get your Google Translate on if you're
tuning in from Australia. And you can't understand what on
earth we're saying. Kidding.
I have no idea how to speak Spanish.
No, we are doing our best, but we are clearly tourists and.
(00:21):
Every time I keep going to answer in French, My Mercy
people on the street, do you want, do you want so many
massage, massage on my No Mercy.And that's all as far as they
get. But anyway, we're back.
So we're in Porto. Vallata Puerto Vallata or PV for
short. PV yeah, PV for the locals if
you're in Mexico, but we're herefor the next week.
Yeah. No, we're here till Saturday,
(00:43):
then we're going north or South.So we're gonna say Lita?
Yeah, I don't know where. It is also it's it's close by.
It's like a 45 minute drive fromhere and it's a smaller town
again. And it'd be awesome fun.
Yeah. So we're having a great time.
We've been in Mexico for two days.
No, we got in yesterday. We got in yesterday so.
How was Jet? Lag one full day.
(01:04):
What was that trip like here now?
'Cause I just was laying down onmy bed, on my phone and now all
my eyes are starting to feel heavy.
It was a bit of a wild trip. We went the long route because
when we were going to Australia we stopped in Hawaii and.
We had return flights. A little bit cheaper, but this
time we had to use a return flight, so it was here to
(01:25):
Auckland, which is 4 hours Auckland to Hawaii, which is 8
hours. Hawaii, Yeah.
It's 9 1/2, isn't it? Or something like that.
It was long. Long enough and then from Hawaii
to LA we slept for like 4 hours.Which is 5 1/2.
That was a long flight that felt, really.
Long yeah. And then to PV it was another
(01:46):
three so a very long flight. But now that we're here it's
very exciting, it's very fun andthe food's amazing it's great
whether it's nice and warm. The rest of the you know, the
sorry, the United States is coldat the moment, so being here and
escaping all of that is great. Juicy.
(02:09):
Yeah. No, it's good.
And the food is very good. Yeah.
Lots of tacos. The breakfast burrito.
I swear, the breakfast burrito this morning was your general
breakfast burrito without all the heaviness to it.
And instead of having a tortillawrap, it was definitely a crepe.
It was French inspired for sure.Did you like it?
I loved it. I thought it was one of the
(02:29):
greatest combos I've ever had. Yeah.
It was pretty good. I've been really enjoying the
street tacos, which has been probably the best food we've
had. We've been to a couple of the
restaurants now and and we went to the street tacos when we
first landed and the street tacos Trump.
And they're about 1/4 of the price, so that's what I really
(02:50):
love about it. Yeah, it's just like, delicious.
Wild. But darling, you obviously
announced this week, even thoughwe did an episode on it.
Yeah, about the IVF and all of that, Yeah.
How are you feeling after that in the aftermath?
Wow. It was like just a tsunami of
support. I don't know if tsunami is the
right word. It was just like a wave of.
(03:11):
Tsunami is just a bigger wave. But something more.
Impactful wave. So much support and love and
I've actually found it really helpful speaking to other people
who have gone through IVF or aredoing IVF, I think.
Which is a lot of people. A lot of people DM D me because
a lot of people are going through the struggle privately,
(03:31):
which is totally acceptable and up to them.
But it was nice of them to reachout and say hey, like we're
going through it. We haven't told our family yet
and I feel terrible. So I guess like a lot of those
same emotions that I went through and it's really nice to,
yeah, get that support from other people.
And I'm also offer a little bit advice to other people about our
experience. So how do you feel?
(03:53):
I feel good I can talk to peoplebecause I've also had plenty of
blokes reach out who've gone through it and who've had
children or share their experience and I'm like, I just
feel good being able to talk about it.
I didn't lie, but even though wespoke to each other about it, I
didn't like bottling it up because I felt like every
conversation, when people would ask how you're doing this sort
of lying. Yeah, I agree.
(04:14):
Like keeping in the background talk.
About it, but it's just like hard telling people.
Well, you you definitely don't want to.
I got sick of having to tell people individually one of like
one after the other after the other and I think that's harder
than just doing the posts and like letting everyone know.
Do you walk around now thinking like especially in Brisbane, are
(04:37):
you like walking around going? I wonder if they know now well.
Strategically, I did it just before we left.
Oh, really? Yeah.
Because I just didn't want to goto the gym.
And like, that's our community of people that we see every day.
Yeah. And I don't know, I just.
So you're a daily gym goer just dropping out?
Yep, yeah. I just didn't want to be
(05:00):
emotional at the gym, you know? I just don't want to, really.
Yeah. I felt like when I posted it, it
was another emotional day, like reading all the comments and,
like, expressing getting all of it out.
And now I feel better about it. And I feel when I go back, I'll
be ready to actually talk to people in person about it.
Yeah. Do you agree?
(05:21):
But yeah, because when I first announced it, I did go to the
gym, but at a different, like, in the afternoon when it wasn't,
it was quiet. And I was like worried that
people like. Well, I went in with you.
I went in with you, remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So everyone's probably like, didanyone say is what he does?
Nah, no one said anything. Yeah, that I can remember.
Nah, no one did. Well, it's been a massive week.
(05:42):
Obviously emotionally from that point of view, but also then the
flight, I guess the flight and get into Mexico.
I'm feeling personally jet lagged lagged.
I can't wait to It's 4/24 as we're recording this, which
means in 90 minutes I can go to bed.
Like, without being like an old dude.
All right, I'll push it. Get some dinner first.
(06:02):
Yeah, obviously, and then we're gonna kick it because we got a
big day tomorrow. I got to run 30K in the morning
and then we've got a boat day. Yeah, So I do want a good sleep.
Yeah, we'll. Have an early one.
I'm feeling pretty tired too. Well, let's let's answer some of
the questions. So helping us get to know each
other more this week we're gonnakeep the theme around the IVF
(06:23):
because last week was, now that we're talking about it with
people, I think we can probably answer questions that we've been
asked or are preparing to answeron here now and we can ask each
other. So get your phone out, darling,
because you have the questions. And you can go first because it
does say age before beauty. I mean ladies before men.
(06:47):
How has this IVF journey changedthe way you see our
relationship? Oh, that's a great question.
I feel like I just love you more.
I think I love you more every day because it's like what we're
going through anyway. Like it's just part of life.
I don't really think it's I, I do worry about how you take it.
(07:10):
Like I don't. And I think, as I was saying
last week, I worry I, I don't worry.
So I don't like that there's, there's not a solution for us.
Like in terms of IVF is obviously a solution, but
there's nothing that I could, you said it last week, like work
harder to do. Yeah, can definitely shag more,
but that doesn't. No, that doesn't seem to be
solving the. Problem.
Yeah. So I feel like when things are
(07:32):
out of my control, I absolutely don't like that.
But in terms of how it's impacted our relationship, I
think it's made us change the way I I think hopefully it's
made it. I think we're stronger, stronger
for sure. I mean, you go through something
as heartbreaking and emotionallychallenging like this, and it
can either make or break a couple.
And I think it's definitely madeus stronger so far.
(07:54):
Yeah, and I don't think either of us are blaming.
Like, I know some people blame people.
I don't feel like we're blamed. It's not like personal.
It's just like a hurdle to overcome.
Yeah, exactly. OK.
Lucky to ask Amy. Here we go.
What has been the hardest part of IVF for you emotionally?
(08:17):
So many things where to begin, Ithink like actually getting to
the decision of Yep, we're goingto do IVF was a bit of a shock
for me personally. And a lot of that was to do with
just timing and like our schedules.
So because we don't have anything quote UN quote wrong.
(08:37):
The doctor did say that, you know, it probably could happen
if we kept trying, but maybe it won't, you know.
And so she was like just with, you know, I said, well, I'm only
in Australia for another, you know, that six month.
Period. Six weeks or so, Yeah.
I think we did extend it becauseof this whole IVF thing as well,
(08:59):
but. Yeah, cats out of the bag.
We were meant to go back in November 4th on November 14, but
that's why we extended. Yeah, So I extended the trip and
the doctor was like, you know, you're in the here for a short
time. Why don't we just go in
aggressively? You can try all these other
methods that are less effective,or you can just go and try IVF
and just do the most effective method right off the bat, which
(09:21):
is also the most expensive. But we made the decision that we
were going to do that because wedon't have the luxury of time,
you know, also like I'm 34 and if we kept trying, which we'd
already been trying for two years.
So I'm just like done with that method.
The old fashioned method isn't quite doing it for us.
(09:43):
So I was like, let's just do it.But it was a bit of a shock when
she sort of said, OK, we're going to do I think you should
do IVF. I was like, like taking that in
was a big one. And then having to like, knowing
that I had to explain that to everybody was a hard one when
they didn't even know we were trying.
Yeah, I think one of the things I observe for you is like, you
(10:05):
like the element of surprise, sonot being able to have that
surprise because now everyone knows, even though I think it
will still be a surprise, it's just that people know we're
trying. Yeah, I always just wanted to
have that, I don't know, exciting, cute Instagram moment
as well. Like first of all, foremost like
surprising the family, but then also to like share with all of
(10:27):
you guys. And I always imagined it to be
so different. But it still will be great.
It will be, but I think it'll bedifferent to how I originally
wanted it. Well, life doesn't get a plan.
I think you'll still you'll still make it cool.
He never does. Especially for me, for some
reason, yeah. Anything like anything.
Because you're a resilient motherfucker.
If you imagine life a certain way, just like, don't because.
(10:50):
Don't listen to me today. Don't.
That's not a good message. Everyone's like, I hear my
friends talking about birth plans and like, oh, what's your
plan? And for me, I think what's the
point of having a birth plan? It's not going to go that way.
I think for people, it's just Peace of Mind.
I think that's why we always have relative plans for Peace of
Mind. But you're on to the next
(11:11):
question, OK? How do you think going through
IVF has made? Oh, we already asked that.
I'm going to the next question. If you could turn any part of
the IVIVF process into a comedy sketch, what would it be about?
Probably what I said last week. No, I, I've.
(11:35):
Got one can. I answer it.
Yeah, Amy can answer I I'm reading.
Your questions. What are you doing, bro?
All right, I'm answering this question because I have an
answer. Yeah.
And it would be that we'd go through this IBF process, pay
all this money, all this heartache, and then we fall
pregnant here in Mexico. Wait, so we're trying in Mexico?
(11:58):
Well, it's really delayed, so itprobably would happen.
I'm making a comedy sketch so and then turns out it's
quadruplets. I don't know it's it's octuplets
and I become the next Octomom. Well, let's hope that is just a
comedy sketch. That would be freaking wild.
That would be insanely wild. All right, well, Amy, if you
(12:19):
could now ask me one again. We'll start here.
Number two there. I.
Can't read? What's one piece of advice you'd
give someone just starting IVF? Support your wife.
That's all I've got to say. I think talk about it with you
(12:39):
don't have to put it on social media, but I said this last
week, I always find talking about things helps massively.
Otherwise you like bottle it up and then your head over thinks
things and then I, you know, getfrustrated or resentful and then
that can and. You also have to like come up
with so many lies, like why you have to go to, why you have to
leave, especially when we're under one roof in the Shepherd
(13:01):
household. There's no secrets.
So it's like, why? What appointment are you going
to? How long will you be?
And Amy's leaving Mexico early as well.
Yeah, absolutely. But Mexico early for an
appointment. So yeah, there's just no hiding
it. Yeah, none at all.
My turn. You've already answered that
one. What's something unexpected
you've learned about me during this process?
(13:23):
I like this question. So we unexpected, yeah, you were
able to come in cup. I didn't think I was that
accurate. Like that's pretty wild.
Like if you look at a cup that'sthat's like shooting A3 pointer.
My God, it's like the funniest part.
(13:46):
I guess there's not a lot of humour in IBF, but that's one
thing you can laugh about. Yeah, my expense.
I had to go through that. That was brutal.
I'm kidding. All right, if you could design
the perfect relaxation day for us during this process, what
would it look like? Oh, it would be waking up in
(14:08):
like a staycation somewhere, going for a nice like swim,
let's say it's coastal, going for a swim at the beach, having
a lovely brunch and then having a day spa.
Like the two hour massage, not just a 30 minute, 2 hour couples
(14:29):
massage. And maybe they go on to, like,
scrub your body and, you know, wipe you down with hot towels.
That's what else like Puerto Vallada, you don't want to get a
massage. There's a few interesting
massage parlours about. They're literally like, it feels
like you're in Thailand where I'm worried I would not be able
(14:49):
to relax here getting a massage because I'd be waiting for
little surprise, little surprise.
And I don't particularly want a little surprise.
So I'm gonna ask two in a row because you did as well.
Because I like this next one. What's something?
Hold on. Hold on, hold on.
Oh, damn it. I was reading your question.
I thought it was a good one. How has our support system,
(15:14):
friends, family played a role inthis journey?
I think now that they're allowedto support us, they've been
incredible. I think, yeah, I'm.
I just don't know how we would ever do it without them, really,
now that they're here on the journey.
Good. And I just think also, like all
(15:36):
about fans and followers have been amazing.
And yeah, that's something that's really helped me through.
Love it, love it. I got one more because I want
to. I'm on a roll with questions.
What's the weirdest or funniest thing you've googled during this
IVF journey? And I assume that means like
around IVF, not just random shit.
(15:57):
Oh I don't know, there's so manythings I'm always Googling about
IVF. Just trying to think off the top
of my head. Weirdest things googled a lot
about like terminology because they tell you and you like I've
actually I learned it in biologyclass, but you like what's a
(16:20):
blastocyst and like what days you have to get scans and
there's so much to learn. OK, but the funniest thing I
don't know but. Nothing.
Amy just was resorting. She just was Google for a
moment. What?
Have you googled? I haven't googled anything.
Oh my God, all I do is IVF research.
Yeah, but you, you are you like we'll get into bed and then
(16:40):
you'll sort of give me a bit of a rundown occasionally.
Yeah. I don't know, there's not much a
bloat. Like, once again, I can learn
for support and I read all the stuff when we went into the
meetings and everything like that.
But I was just yeah, yeah, I didthe injections, but I I read
about the things that I was needed to do.
But other things I'm not just like curious about it to be
honest, where I was like more Googling how to come in a cup
(17:03):
and things like that did. You Google?
No, I just wrote. That's enough.
Let's move on to your Reddit story.
I've got it up for you. I think we should definitely
move on, OK. So this Reddit story is also
related to IVF seeing as we're on the topic.
It says my fiance states he would divorce me if we couldn't
(17:23):
have children and I don't know what to think.
My boyfriend and I recently got engaged.
We've had our ups and downs, butfor the most part we are on the
same page with what we want in our life.
Both of us hold successful careers and we also want to be
present, dedicated parents. We are in complete agreement
that we want at least two biological children.
(17:43):
Neither of us are open to sperm,egg donors, surrogacy, and
adoption. IVF is fine.
Just a word of warning to this person, life never goes the way
you want it, OK? We've had several discussions
where my partner states that if we try to have children, it
doesn't happen in timely manner.One to two years he would
(18:03):
divorce me and find a younger woman who could fulfill his
dreams of being a father. Naturally, this makes me sick to
my stomach. I acknowledge that fatherhood is
important to him and I would absolutely do anything in my
power to ensure our chances are as good as they can be.
But if fate sees fit to not giveus children despite our best
effort, I would. It would feel horrible to be
discarded. I feel like I'm about to marry
(18:25):
someone who values me just for my uterus and what that part of
my anatomy can provide him. This is the point I was going to
make. She said if we discovered
somehow that my part my partner was infertile, I would not leave
him. I believe in the in sickness and
in health. I chose to be with him because I
(18:45):
value our relationship. And she goes on and on.
But thoughts? Well, first thoughts is I'm with
her through thickness and I think like you get it.
I even if we have kids, I still think you'd put the relationship
(19:05):
first, as much as that sounds selfish.
Like I think I married you for you, not just to have kids.
I kid that that would be the cherry on top.
So regardless of which way it goes, it's like, I still love
you and I still have fun with that.
Like, yeah. And there's so much that life
has to offer other than having kids.
You know, there's travel. There's more travel.
(19:29):
No, like I would just, well, that's spend all our money on us
and like live. In a mansion, yeah, you would
you would figure that out, like,and some people don't want
children. That's fine.
So I just think if you put all the onus on your wife without
taking any responsibility, you're an.
Absolutely. You're already stressing her
out. You're a really bad.
For fertility, so I if you're saying that like.
(19:50):
There's probably. A heap of other issues as well.
Yeah, straight up, that's a big.Also, yeah, what what makes him
think that his sperm's so perfect?
Because it's a lot of people think that it's mostly women
that are the infertile, but it'sactually 5050.
Flip that. That's like, yeah, that's heads
or tails right there. It's heads or tails.
Yeah, infertility. It is 5050 so so.
(20:11):
Check yourself before you rec. Yourself come in a cup and check
your own sperm, okay? Because and if you can hit the
cup, you might be, that's also a5050% chance too.
All right, ladies and gentlemen,Well, that was a good story this
week and thank you guys. If you have more questions,
remember message us on Instagram, join Amy and Patreon.
(20:32):
You can check all of that out there.
So if you listen to last week's episode, I've been talking about
a song that I wrote about infertility.
I've been trying to post it but for some reason I don't know if
the internet's not good. Or Internet sucks here, I can't
even send an iMessage. So I'm sorry, I'm trying to get
it to you. Hopefully at our next hotel, the
internet's a bit better, and I will.
Post I think we have Starlink atthe next one so oh good, Elon
(20:52):
Musk is reliable so that would be great.
Yeah, so I'll be posting it there 1st to Patreon.
So if you guys are listening andyou want to join, it's at Amy
Shepherd Pie patreon.com slash. Like the shepherd pie.
Cool. Alright, as always.
So. My stars welcome back bien Moi
bien Moi bien. We're going to do this whole
episode in Spanish, so get your Google Translate on if you're
tuning in from Australia. And you can't understand what on
earth we're saying. Kidding.
I have no idea how to speak Spanish.
No, we are doing our best, but we are clearly tourists and.
(00:21):
Every time I keep going to answer in French, My Mercy
people on the street, do you want, do you want so many
massage, massage on my No Mercy.And that's all as far as they
get. But anyway, we're back.
So we're in Porto. Vallata Puerto Vallata or PV for
short. PV yeah, PV for the locals if
you're in Mexico, but we're herefor the next week.
Yeah. No, we're here till Saturday,
(00:43):
then we're going north or South.So we're gonna say Lita?
Yeah, I don't know where. It is also it's it's close by.
It's like a 45 minute drive fromhere and it's a smaller town
again. And it'd be awesome fun.
Yeah. So we're having a great time.
We've been in Mexico for two days.
No, we got in yesterday. We got in yesterday so.
How was Jet? Lag one full day.
(01:04):
What was that trip like here now?
'Cause I just was laying down onmy bed, on my phone and now all
my eyes are starting to feel heavy.
It was a bit of a wild trip. We went the long route because
when we were going to Australia we stopped in Hawaii and.
We had return flights. A little bit cheaper, but this
time we had to use a return flight, so it was here to
(01:25):
Auckland, which is 4 hours Auckland to Hawaii, which is 8
hours. Hawaii, Yeah.
It's 9 1/2, isn't it? Or something like that.
It was long. Long enough and then from Hawaii
to LA we slept for like 4 hours.Which is 5 1/2.
That was a long flight that felt, really.
Long yeah. And then to PV it was another
(01:46):
three so a very long flight. But now that we're here it's
very exciting, it's very fun andthe food's amazing it's great
whether it's nice and warm. The rest of the you know, the
sorry, the United States is coldat the moment, so being here and
escaping all of that is great. Juicy.
(02:09):
Yeah. No, it's good.
And the food is very good. Yeah.
Lots of tacos. The breakfast burrito.
I swear, the breakfast burrito this morning was your general
breakfast burrito without all the heaviness to it.
And instead of having a tortillawrap, it was definitely a crepe.
It was French inspired for sure.Did you like it?
I loved it. I thought it was one of the
(02:29):
greatest combos I've ever had. Yeah.
It was pretty good. I've been really enjoying the
street tacos, which has been probably the best food we've
had. We've been to a couple of the
restaurants now and and we went to the street tacos when we
first landed and the street tacos Trump.
And they're about 1/4 of the price, so that's what I really
(02:50):
love about it. Yeah, it's just like, delicious.
Wild. But darling, you obviously
announced this week, even thoughwe did an episode on it.
Yeah, about the IVF and all of that, Yeah.
How are you feeling after that in the aftermath?
Wow. It was like just a tsunami of
support. I don't know if tsunami is the
right word. It was just like a wave of.
(03:11):
Tsunami is just a bigger wave. But something more.
Impactful wave. So much support and love and
I've actually found it really helpful speaking to other people
who have gone through IVF or aredoing IVF, I think.
Which is a lot of people. A lot of people DM D me because
a lot of people are going through the struggle privately,
(03:31):
which is totally acceptable and up to them.
But it was nice of them to reachout and say hey, like we're
going through it. We haven't told our family yet
and I feel terrible. So I guess like a lot of those
same emotions that I went through and it's really nice to,
yeah, get that support from other people.
And I'm also offer a little bit advice to other people about our
experience. So how do you feel?
(03:53):
I feel good I can talk to peoplebecause I've also had plenty of
blokes reach out who've gone through it and who've had
children or share their experience and I'm like, I just
feel good being able to talk about it.
I didn't lie, but even though wespoke to each other about it, I
didn't like bottling it up because I felt like every
conversation, when people would ask how you're doing this sort
of lying. Yeah, I agree.
(04:14):
Like keeping in the background talk.
About it, but it's just like hard telling people.
Well, you you definitely don't want to.
I got sick of having to tell people individually one of like
one after the other after the other and I think that's harder
than just doing the posts and like letting everyone know.
Do you walk around now thinking like especially in Brisbane, are
(04:37):
you like walking around going? I wonder if they know now well.
Strategically, I did it just before we left.
Oh, really? Yeah.
Because I just didn't want to goto the gym.
And like, that's our community of people that we see every day.
Yeah. And I don't know, I just.
So you're a daily gym goer just dropping out?
Yep, yeah. I just didn't want to be
(05:00):
emotional at the gym, you know? I just don't want to, really.
Yeah. I felt like when I posted it, it
was another emotional day, like reading all the comments and,
like, expressing getting all of it out.
And now I feel better about it. And I feel when I go back, I'll
be ready to actually talk to people in person about it.
Yeah. Do you agree?
(05:21):
But yeah, because when I first announced it, I did go to the
gym, but at a different, like, in the afternoon when it wasn't,
it was quiet. And I was like worried that
people like. Well, I went in with you.
I went in with you, remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So everyone's probably like, didanyone say is what he does?
Nah, no one said anything. Yeah, that I can remember.
Nah, no one did. Well, it's been a massive week.
(05:42):
Obviously emotionally from that point of view, but also then the
flight, I guess the flight and get into Mexico.
I'm feeling personally jet lagged lagged.
I can't wait to It's 4/24 as we're recording this, which
means in 90 minutes I can go to bed.
Like, without being like an old dude.
All right, I'll push it. Get some dinner first.
(06:02):
Yeah, obviously, and then we're gonna kick it because we got a
big day tomorrow. I got to run 30K in the morning
and then we've got a boat day. Yeah, So I do want a good sleep.
Yeah, we'll. Have an early one.
I'm feeling pretty tired too. Well, let's let's answer some of
the questions. So helping us get to know each
other more this week we're gonnakeep the theme around the IVF
(06:23):
because last week was, now that we're talking about it with
people, I think we can probably answer questions that we've been
asked or are preparing to answeron here now and we can ask each
other. So get your phone out, darling,
because you have the questions. And you can go first because it
does say age before beauty. I mean ladies before men.
(06:47):
How has this IVF journey changedthe way you see our
relationship? Oh, that's a great question.
I feel like I just love you more.
I think I love you more every day because it's like what we're
going through anyway. Like it's just part of life.
I don't really think it's I, I do worry about how you take it.
(07:10):
Like I don't. And I think, as I was saying
last week, I worry I, I don't worry.
So I don't like that there's, there's not a solution for us.
Like in terms of IVF is obviously a solution, but
there's nothing that I could, you said it last week, like work
harder to do. Yeah, can definitely shag more,
but that doesn't. No, that doesn't seem to be
solving the. Problem.
Yeah. So I feel like when things are
(07:32):
out of my control, I absolutely don't like that.
But in terms of how it's impacted our relationship, I
think it's made us change the way I I think hopefully it's
made it. I think we're stronger, stronger
for sure. I mean, you go through something
as heartbreaking and emotionallychallenging like this, and it
can either make or break a couple.
And I think it's definitely madeus stronger so far.
(07:54):
Yeah, and I don't think either of us are blaming.
Like, I know some people blame people.
I don't feel like we're blamed. It's not like personal.
It's just like a hurdle to overcome.
Yeah, exactly. OK.
Lucky to ask Amy. Here we go.
What has been the hardest part of IVF for you emotionally?
(08:17):
So many things where to begin, Ithink like actually getting to
the decision of Yep, we're goingto do IVF was a bit of a shock
for me personally. And a lot of that was to do with
just timing and like our schedules.
So because we don't have anything quote UN quote wrong.
(08:37):
The doctor did say that, you know, it probably could happen
if we kept trying, but maybe it won't, you know.
And so she was like just with, you know, I said, well, I'm only
in Australia for another, you know, that six month.
Period. Six weeks or so, Yeah.
I think we did extend it becauseof this whole IVF thing as well,
(08:59):
but. Yeah, cats out of the bag.
We were meant to go back in November 4th on November 14, but
that's why we extended. Yeah, So I extended the trip and
the doctor was like, you know, you're in the here for a short
time. Why don't we just go in
aggressively? You can try all these other
methods that are less effective,or you can just go and try IVF
and just do the most effective method right off the bat, which
(09:21):
is also the most expensive. But we made the decision that we
were going to do that because wedon't have the luxury of time,
you know, also like I'm 34 and if we kept trying, which we'd
already been trying for two years.
So I'm just like done with that method.
The old fashioned method isn't quite doing it for us.
(09:43):
So I was like, let's just do it.But it was a bit of a shock when
she sort of said, OK, we're going to do I think you should
do IVF. I was like, like taking that in
was a big one. And then having to like, knowing
that I had to explain that to everybody was a hard one when
they didn't even know we were trying.
Yeah, I think one of the things I observe for you is like, you
(10:05):
like the element of surprise, sonot being able to have that
surprise because now everyone knows, even though I think it
will still be a surprise, it's just that people know we're
trying. Yeah, I always just wanted to
have that, I don't know, exciting, cute Instagram moment
as well. Like first of all, foremost like
surprising the family, but then also to like share with all of
(10:27):
you guys. And I always imagined it to be
so different. But it still will be great.
It will be, but I think it'll bedifferent to how I originally
wanted it. Well, life doesn't get a plan.
I think you'll still you'll still make it cool.
He never does. Especially for me, for some
reason, yeah. Anything like anything.
Because you're a resilient motherfucker.
If you imagine life a certain way, just like, don't because.
(10:50):
Don't listen to me today. Don't.
That's not a good message. Everyone's like, I hear my
friends talking about birth plans and like, oh, what's your
plan? And for me, I think what's the
point of having a birth plan? It's not going to go that way.
I think for people, it's just Peace of Mind.
I think that's why we always have relative plans for Peace of
Mind. But you're on to the next
(11:11):
question, OK? How do you think going through
IVF has made? Oh, we already asked that.
I'm going to the next question. If you could turn any part of
the IVIVF process into a comedy sketch, what would it be about?
Probably what I said last week. No, I, I've.
(11:35):
Got one can. I answer it.
Yeah, Amy can answer I I'm reading.
Your questions. What are you doing, bro?
All right, I'm answering this question because I have an
answer. Yeah.
And it would be that we'd go through this IBF process, pay
all this money, all this heartache, and then we fall
pregnant here in Mexico. Wait, so we're trying in Mexico?
(11:58):
Well, it's really delayed, so itprobably would happen.
I'm making a comedy sketch so and then turns out it's
quadruplets. I don't know it's it's octuplets
and I become the next Octomom. Well, let's hope that is just a
comedy sketch. That would be freaking wild.
That would be insanely wild. All right, well, Amy, if you
(12:19):
could now ask me one again. We'll start here.
Number two there. I.
Can't read? What's one piece of advice you'd
give someone just starting IVF? Support your wife.
That's all I've got to say. I think talk about it with you
(12:39):
don't have to put it on social media, but I said this last
week, I always find talking about things helps massively.
Otherwise you like bottle it up and then your head over thinks
things and then I, you know, getfrustrated or resentful and then
that can and. You also have to like come up
with so many lies, like why you have to go to, why you have to
leave, especially when we're under one roof in the Shepherd
(13:01):
household. There's no secrets.
So it's like, why? What appointment are you going
to? How long will you be?
And Amy's leaving Mexico early as well.
Yeah, absolutely. But Mexico early for an
appointment. So yeah, there's just no hiding
it. Yeah, none at all.
My turn. You've already answered that
one. What's something unexpected
you've learned about me during this process?
(13:23):
I like this question. So we unexpected, yeah, you were
able to come in cup. I didn't think I was that
accurate. Like that's pretty wild.
Like if you look at a cup that'sthat's like shooting A3 pointer.
My God, it's like the funniest part.
(13:46):
I guess there's not a lot of humour in IBF, but that's one
thing you can laugh about. Yeah, my expense.
I had to go through that. That was brutal.
I'm kidding. All right, if you could design
the perfect relaxation day for us during this process, what
would it look like? Oh, it would be waking up in
(14:08):
like a staycation somewhere, going for a nice like swim,
let's say it's coastal, going for a swim at the beach, having
a lovely brunch and then having a day spa.
Like the two hour massage, not just a 30 minute, 2 hour couples
(14:29):
massage. And maybe they go on to, like,
scrub your body and, you know, wipe you down with hot towels.
That's what else like Puerto Vallada, you don't want to get a
massage. There's a few interesting
massage parlours about. They're literally like, it feels
like you're in Thailand where I'm worried I would not be able
(14:49):
to relax here getting a massage because I'd be waiting for
little surprise, little surprise.
And I don't particularly want a little surprise.
So I'm gonna ask two in a row because you did as well.
Because I like this next one. What's something?
Hold on. Hold on, hold on.
Oh, damn it. I was reading your question.
I thought it was a good one. How has our support system,
(15:14):
friends, family played a role inthis journey?
I think now that they're allowedto support us, they've been
incredible. I think, yeah, I'm.
I just don't know how we would ever do it without them, really,
now that they're here on the journey.
Good. And I just think also, like all
(15:36):
about fans and followers have been amazing.
And yeah, that's something that's really helped me through.
Love it, love it. I got one more because I want
to. I'm on a roll with questions.
What's the weirdest or funniest thing you've googled during this
IVF journey? And I assume that means like
around IVF, not just random shit.
(15:57):
Oh I don't know, there's so manythings I'm always Googling about
IVF. Just trying to think off the top
of my head. Weirdest things googled a lot
about like terminology because they tell you and you like I've
actually I learned it in biologyclass, but you like what's a
(16:20):
blastocyst and like what days you have to get scans and
there's so much to learn. OK, but the funniest thing I
don't know but. Nothing.
Amy just was resorting. She just was Google for a
moment. What?
Have you googled? I haven't googled anything.
Oh my God, all I do is IVF research.
Yeah, but you, you are you like we'll get into bed and then
(16:40):
you'll sort of give me a bit of a rundown occasionally.
Yeah. I don't know, there's not much a
bloat. Like, once again, I can learn
for support and I read all the stuff when we went into the
meetings and everything like that.
But I was just yeah, yeah, I didthe injections, but I I read
about the things that I was needed to do.
But other things I'm not just like curious about it to be
honest, where I was like more Googling how to come in a cup
(17:03):
and things like that did. You Google?
No, I just wrote. That's enough.
Let's move on to your Reddit story.
I've got it up for you. I think we should definitely
move on, OK. So this Reddit story is also
related to IVF seeing as we're on the topic.
It says my fiance states he would divorce me if we couldn't
(17:23):
have children and I don't know what to think.
My boyfriend and I recently got engaged.
We've had our ups and downs, butfor the most part we are on the
same page with what we want in our life.
Both of us hold successful careers and we also want to be
present, dedicated parents. We are in complete agreement
that we want at least two biological children.
(17:43):
Neither of us are open to sperm,egg donors, surrogacy, and
adoption. IVF is fine.
Just a word of warning to this person, life never goes the way
you want it, OK? We've had several discussions
where my partner states that if we try to have children, it
doesn't happen in timely manner.One to two years he would
(18:03):
divorce me and find a younger woman who could fulfill his
dreams of being a father. Naturally, this makes me sick to
my stomach. I acknowledge that fatherhood is
important to him and I would absolutely do anything in my
power to ensure our chances are as good as they can be.
But if fate sees fit to not giveus children despite our best
effort, I would. It would feel horrible to be
discarded. I feel like I'm about to marry
(18:25):
someone who values me just for my uterus and what that part of
my anatomy can provide him. This is the point I was going to
make. She said if we discovered
somehow that my part my partner was infertile, I would not leave
him. I believe in the in sickness and
in health. I chose to be with him because I
(18:45):
value our relationship. And she goes on and on.
But thoughts? Well, first thoughts is I'm with
her through thickness and I think like you get it.
I even if we have kids, I still think you'd put the relationship
(19:05):
first, as much as that sounds selfish.
Like I think I married you for you, not just to have kids.
I kid that that would be the cherry on top.
So regardless of which way it goes, it's like, I still love
you and I still have fun with that.
Like, yeah. And there's so much that life
has to offer other than having kids.
You know, there's travel. There's more travel.
(19:29):
No, like I would just, well, that's spend all our money on us
and like live. In a mansion, yeah, you would
you would figure that out, like,and some people don't want
children. That's fine.
So I just think if you put all the onus on your wife without
taking any responsibility, you're an.
Absolutely. You're already stressing her
out. You're a really bad.
For fertility, so I if you're saying that like.
(19:50):
There's probably. A heap of other issues as well.
Yeah, straight up, that's a big.Also, yeah, what what makes him
think that his sperm's so perfect?
Because it's a lot of people think that it's mostly women
that are the infertile, but it'sactually 5050.
Flip that. That's like, yeah, that's heads
or tails right there. It's heads or tails.
Yeah, infertility. It is 5050 so so.
(20:11):
Check yourself before you rec. Yourself come in a cup and check
your own sperm, okay? Because and if you can hit the
cup, you might be, that's also a5050% chance too.
All right, ladies and gentlemen,Well, that was a good story this
week and thank you guys. If you have more questions,
remember message us on Instagram, join Amy and Patreon.
(20:32):
You can check all of that out there.
So if you listen to last week's episode, I've been talking about
a song that I wrote about infertility.
I've been trying to post it but for some reason I don't know if
the internet's not good. Or Internet sucks here, I can't
even send an iMessage. So I'm sorry, I'm trying to get
it to you. Hopefully at our next hotel, the
internet's a bit better, and I will.
Post I think we have Starlink atthe next one so oh good, Elon
(20:52):
Musk is reliable so that would be great.
Yeah, so I'll be posting it there 1st to Patreon.
So if you guys are listening andyou want to join, it's at Amy
Shepherd Pie patreon.com slash. Like the shepherd pie.
Cool. Alright, as always.
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