“What do you need to feel good, and what does that look like in action?”
— Allison Villa
Today’s topic is something that comes up a lot in both individual and couples therapy. It’s an issue that affects all types of relationships, from romantic to familial to professional. And it’s one that a lot of people struggle with, and even feel guilty about.
Today, I want to talk about boundaries and resentment.
People set physical and emotional limits regarding how they want other people to behave around them in order to keep themselves feeling safe and respected. Boundaries are incredibly personal — and each person in a couple may have very different boundaries around certain topics or actions!
Resentment shows up when we feel that others have crossed our boundaries — whether or not we’ve been clear about setting them. Sometimes, we don’t even discover that we need a boundary until we start feeling uncomfortable or frustrated in a relationship.
This week, I am giving you all the tools you need to identify where the lines should be drawn in your life, and to set and communicate clear, reasonable boundaries.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
- Real-life examples of the differing ways that people can set boundaries in their relationships
- 3 simple action items to help you set necessary boundaries in your own life
- That boundaries don’t have to be static — don’t be afraid to shift them as needed!
“When you don’t set boundaries, it often gets internalized as resentment.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
00:28 Introduction
01:27 Boundaries
02:49 Resentment
03:56 Cycling example
06:42 The process
07:20 Bedtime example
08:00 Work example
09:20 Set boundaries early
10:02 Get clear on your boundaries
11:18 Set the boundary
13:45 Boundaries aren’t static
14:45 Recap
Links:
Work With Me: https://www.allisonvilla.com
Follow Me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.