Couples Therapy In Seven Words

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/s5dehbrTc84.

Why are couples surprised when they first experience conflict with each other. And how can they manage it without freaking out? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins, works with couples to help them get past problem patterns and turn toward each other.

Dr. Higgins’s website is https://drjessicahiggins.com/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our pod...

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/qcNpMScyLWE.

I’ve worked with couples for whom how to load the dishwasher has been the topic that has brought them close to divorce. What’s going on? Our guest in this episode, Talia Bombola, applies insights from psychodynamic therapy to help couples and individuals figure out what’s going on, and save themselves from a lot of misery in the process.

Talia’s websites are  https:...

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/oSYU5GCa0YM.

Our guest in this episode, Kristan Swan, has been a landscape designer and business coach. We talk about how her work helping entrepreneurs has often overlapped with the kind of relational work that Bruce does with couples.

Kristan’s book Spaghetti on the Wall is designed to help people learn more about themselves and thereby make better decisions. She has also deve...

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/NFNHWEpG2nM.

In my book Betrayal and Forgiveness, I define forgiveness as an “inside job.” Among other things, that means that you can forgive people who have committed acts of pure evil—because forgiving just means you can think about what happened without being consumed by anger or panic. Forgiveness is about healing yourself. To paraphrase Anne Lamott, forgiveness gets the ra...

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/inmBJ6AlwNU.

Judy and I had the great honor and delight of interviewing the doyenne of Jewish cooking, Joan Nathan. Our interview took place on a cruise along the Main River in Germany, where we were on a tour of Jewish historical sites along the Main and Rhine. Joan was on the tour, and we all had the magnificent experience of a bistro meal with her, using her own recipes.

We’l...

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/B7buGaYYF98.

Couples in which one or both have a diagnosis of ADHD can encounter some particular challenges. Our guest in this episode, Lisa Rabinowitz, specialized in working with ADHD or otherwise neurodiverse couples. She tells us about how she helps them find their way to more satisfying relationships.

Lisa’s website is https://counselorforcouples.com/.

The assessment tool t...

Welcome to Short Take #5. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.

Today’s topic: Betrayal and Forgiveness

This short take is about…well, betrayal and forgiveness. What is betrayal? And does forgiveness mean you’ll restore your relationship?

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Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and ...

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/OtUSEC7Fk58.

Why are so many Millennials deciding not to have children? How does therapy culture affect how young people view the prospect of becoming parents?

Judy and I talk about a New York Times article by Michal Leibowitz that discusses this. She organized her article according to stanzas in Philip Larkin’s poem “This Be The Verse,” which famously concludes, “Get out as ear...

Welcome to Short Take #4. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.

Today’s topic: The “Oh Shit” Moment

This isn’t about the “Oh shit!” you might say when you’ve hit your thumb with a hammer. This is about—well, you’ll need to hear it to appreciate why I call it the “Oh shit” moment. It’s often a turning point in working with a couple.

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...

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/FBplUljRg6w.

What is Post Betrayal Syndrome? Our guest in this episode is Dr. Debi Silber, who is the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute.

She describes three discoveries about betrayal from her Ph.D. research, and then talks about five stages along the way from betrayal to transformation.

Dr. Silber’s website is https://thepbtinstitute.com/.

Do you have ideas ...

Welcome to Short Take #3. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.

Today’s topic: Stability vs. Intimacy—Can We Have Both?

Why are both stability and intimacy necessary for a relationship to thrive? Why do they require different—even conflicting—skills?

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Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past ep...

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/ftqRVeBptqs.

What is Radical Moderation? And how can that idea help heal the hyper-polarization that characterizes not only politics but family relationships these days? Our guest in this episode, Professor Lauren Hall, tells us about her work and how she came to it. As Judy mentions early in the interview, I (Bruce) have called myself a radical moderate for decades. (“What do w...

See the video of this episode here.

Our guest in this episode, Dr. Bonnie Comfort, was married for 33 years to a man she deeply loved and who deeply loved her. And they remained married until his death from cancer. A beautiful story with a sad ending—but, as is always true, not the whole story. Bonnie tells us about the struggles she and her husband went through, particularly around issues of sexual compatibility. Those struggles t...

Welcome to Short Take #2. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.

Today’s topic: Rethinking ADHD

Is ADHD a disease, or even a disorder?  Or is it a description of one end of a spectrum? Why does the distinction matter? I talk about a recent New York Times article in which long-time ADHD researchers describe how they are re-examining their assumptions. Then I tell one ...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/emily-jamea/.

If you’re having trouble with sex in your relationship, you might want to consult a sex therapist, and our guest today, Dr. Emily Jamea, is precisely that. But what if it’s not about problems—what if what you want is to get past “good-enough” sex to levels you’ve only dreamed about? Well, Emily is all about that as well. Her recent book, Anatomy of Desire, ...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/charity-sinclair/.

As our guest in this episode, Charity Sinclair, puts it, “I’ve been on a lot of shit dates. No, really—literally shit dates.” Dates, she means, in which the guy was carrying around a stool sample. Or was carrying around dog shit.

And, she says, she’d take a shit date over a toxic date any time. In our conversation, Charity tells us about calling off he...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/matt-digeronimo/.

We live in polarized times. It’s hard to have conversations across the great divide—as soon as we detect signs that someone we’re talking to is on the other side, we tend to shut down our ability to hear and think about what they’re saying.

Our guest in this episode, Matt DiGeronimo, is a Navy veteran who realized when he took off the uniform that he wa...

Welcome to Short Takes! In this series Bruce and Judy talk about some of their (well, mostly Bruce’s) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.

Today’s topic:

The Dread Disease, “Hardening of the Categories”

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Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show.

Visit Dr. Ch...

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/rabbi-shlomo-slatkin/.

Can a couple who have fallen out of love regain their passion for each other? What is Imago Relationship Therapy, and how can it help? Our guest in this episode, Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, is the founder of the Marriage Restoration Project, which offers intensive retreats, group workshops, and online courses.

Rabbi Slatkin’s website is https://www.thema...