Couples Therapy In Seven Words
Be Kind, Don‘t Panic, and Have Faith. Psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer and educator Judy Alexander talk about relationships, interview fascinating guests, and answer your questions.
Episodes
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/NFNHWEpG2nM.
In my book Betrayal and Forgiveness, I define forgiveness as an “inside job.” Among other things, that means that you can forgive people who have committed acts of pure evil—because forgiving just means you can think about what happened without being consumed by anger or panic. Forgiveness is about healing yourself. To paraphrase Anne Lamott, forgiveness gets the ra...
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/inmBJ6AlwNU.
Judy and I had the great honor and delight of interviewing the doyenne of Jewish cooking, Joan Nathan. Our interview took place on a cruise along the Main River in Germany, where we were on a tour of Jewish historical sites along the Main and Rhine. Joan was on the tour, and we all had the magnificent experience of a bistro meal with her, using her own recipes.
We’l...
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/B7buGaYYF98.
Couples in which one or both have a diagnosis of ADHD can encounter some particular challenges. Our guest in this episode, Lisa Rabinowitz, specialized in working with ADHD or otherwise neurodiverse couples. She tells us about how she helps them find their way to more satisfying relationships.
Lisa’s website is https://counselorforcouples.com/.
Welcome to Short Take #5. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.
Today’s topic: Betrayal and Forgiveness
This short take is about…well, betrayal and forgiveness. What is betrayal? And does forgiveness mean you’ll restore your relationship?
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Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and ...
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/OtUSEC7Fk58.
Why are so many Millennials deciding not to have children? How does therapy culture affect how young people view the prospect of becoming parents?
Judy and I talk about a New York Times article by Michal Leibowitz that discusses this. She organized her article according to stanzas in Philip Larkin’s poem “This Be The Verse,” which famously concludes, “Get out as ear...
Welcome to Short Take #4. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.
Today’s topic: The “Oh Shit” Moment
This isn’t about the “Oh shit!” you might say when you’ve hit your thumb with a hammer. This is about—well, you’ll need to hear it to appreciate why I call it the “Oh shit” moment. It’s often a turning point in working with a couple.
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For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/FBplUljRg6w.
What is Post Betrayal Syndrome? Our guest in this episode is Dr. Debi Silber, who is the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute.
She describes three discoveries about betrayal from her Ph.D. research, and then talks about five stages along the way from betrayal to transformation.
Dr. Silber’s website is https://thepbtinstitute.com/.
Welcome to Short Take #3. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.
Today’s topic: Stability vs. Intimacy—Can We Have Both?
Why are both stability and intimacy necessary for a relationship to thrive? Why do they require different—even conflicting—skills?
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Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past ep...
For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/ftqRVeBptqs.
What is Radical Moderation? And how can that idea help heal the hyper-polarization that characterizes not only politics but family relationships these days? Our guest in this episode, Professor Lauren Hall, tells us about her work and how she came to it. As Judy mentions early in the interview, I (Bruce) have called myself a radical moderate for decades. (“What do w...
See the video of this episode here.
Our guest in this episode, Dr. Bonnie Comfort, was married for 33 years to a man she deeply loved and who deeply loved her. And they remained married until his death from cancer. A beautiful story with a sad ending—but, as is always true, not the whole story. Bonnie tells us about the struggles she and her husband went through, particularly around issues of sexual compatibility. Those struggles t...
Welcome to Short Take #2. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.
Today’s topic: Rethinking ADHD
Is ADHD a disease, or even a disorder? Or is it a description of one end of a spectrum? Why does the distinction matter? I talk about a recent New York Times article in which long-time ADHD researchers describe how they are re-examining their assumptions. Then I tell one ...
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/emily-jamea/.
If you’re having trouble with sex in your relationship, you might want to consult a sex therapist, and our guest today, Dr. Emily Jamea, is precisely that. But what if it’s not about problems—what if what you want is to get past “good-enough” sex to levels you’ve only dreamed about? Well, Emily is all about that as well. Her recent book, Anatomy of Desire, ...
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/charity-sinclair/.
As our guest in this episode, Charity Sinclair, puts it, “I’ve been on a lot of shit dates. No, really—literally shit dates.” Dates, she means, in which the guy was carrying around a stool sample. Or was carrying around dog shit.
And, she says, she’d take a shit date over a toxic date any time. In our conversation, Charity tells us about calling off he...
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/matt-digeronimo/.
We live in polarized times. It’s hard to have conversations across the great divide—as soon as we detect signs that someone we’re talking to is on the other side, we tend to shut down our ability to hear and think about what they’re saying.
Our guest in this episode, Matt DiGeronimo, is a Navy veteran who realized when he took off the uniform that he wa...
Welcome to Short Takes! In this series Bruce and Judy talk about some of their (well, mostly Bruce’s) favorite topics in bite-size morsels.
Today’s topic:
The Dread Disease, “Hardening of the Categories”
Please subscribe and review us!
Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show.
Visit Dr. Ch...
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/rabbi-shlomo-slatkin/.
Can a couple who have fallen out of love regain their passion for each other? What is Imago Relationship Therapy, and how can it help? Our guest in this episode, Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, is the founder of the Marriage Restoration Project, which offers intensive retreats, group workshops, and online courses.
Rabbi Slatkin’s website is https://www.thema...
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/found-out-my-father-had-been-cheating/.
What would you do if you found out at your father’s funeral that he had been having affairs? Your father, whom you had loved, honored, and trusted? Recently I’ve talked with several people in similar situations. Judy and I talk about how they might work on healing from that kind of betrayal.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/craig-mattson/.
Do you ever find yourself drowning in digital stimulation and demand? How does digital overwhelm in work life relate to life as a couple? Our guest in this episode is Craig Mattson, a professor of communication who has studied the disconnection and intensity many workers feel in their work lives. And as a person of faith, Craig has invoked teachings from ...
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/leah-spasova/.
Our guest in this episode, Leah Spasova, is the CEO of LifeSexperts, which offers coaching and training to individuals, couples, and organizations about healthy relationships. We talk with her about her multi-layered approach to helping couples with sex and relationship issues.
Leah’s website is https://www.lifesexperts.com/.
For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/wilk-wilkinson/.
We’ve had many wonderful guests, and like parents with their children, I don’t want to compare them. But I do think this is one of our most important episodes.
Our guest, Wilk Wilkinson, is a Christian conservative who has taken on the mission of helping this country heal from what he terms toxic polarity. Through his own “Derate the Hate” podcast, as we...
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