33. The Power of Words as we Grieve

Are you struggling to find meaning and support during tough times? 

In this heartfelt episode of 'Courageous Retirement,' host Vona Johnson discusses the profound impact of words and the importance of acknowledging our emotions. Sharing personal stories from her father's recent passing, Vona emphasizes the necessity of community and the power of expressing genuine feelings. 

Explore how encouragement and spiritual faith can transform grief into a journey of purpose and fulfillment. 

Watch for future episodes for more insightful discussions on life's inevitable transitions and upcoming events focused on raising and mentoring children so they have a lifelong trust in God.

00:00 The Power of Words
00:33 Coping with Loss: A Personal Story
01:22 It's Okay to Not Be Okay
03:15 The Importance of Community and Support
06:11 Upcoming Episodes and Future Plans
07:32 Final Thoughts and Gratitude

Quotes from Vona:
 "And then one day I just realized that I needed to listen to my own words and that  it was okay to not be okay."

"And I feel like that's what that service (the funeral) did for me. It put my heart back together and it's just so full and so much lighter."

"... freely share those encouraging words because you have no idea the impact that they will make."

Watch the celebration and learn about the power of words: https://www.hdezwebcast.com/video/71288

Check out my books @ https://www.amazon.com/s?k=vona+johnson

I'd love to hear from you! Send me a text message!

Thank you for stopping by today! Remember to Engage Your Faith and Live Your More as you reap the benefits of Courageous Retirement!

To watch the video, check out my YouTube Channel!

Learn more about the show, author Vona Johnson, and more at vonajohnson.com!

Schedule a free 15 minute Your Path to More call with Vona.

Join ClubMore @ clubmore.live

Episode Transcript

(00:05):
We don't always realize theimpact our words have today.
I wanna talk about that and helpyou realize that our words
really do matter.

Speaker (00:13):
Do you fear?
What lies beyond retirement?
What if it's a gateway to a lifefilled with purpose, meaning,
and adventure rather than anend?
Discover peace and fulfillmentas you boldly enter this new
chapter in CourageousRetirement, a Christian podcast.
I'm your host, author, and coachVNA Johnson.
Let's get started.
Since our last episode, myfather passed away and we went

(00:38):
through all the process ofplanning and preparing for his
funeral, and then we had acelebration of life yesterday
I'll be honest.
Um, it wasn't easy.
It never is.
We think we're ready.
You know, he was at the endstage of his dementia journey,
and it was time, it was time forhim to go.
I thought I was ready.
I was praying even for the Lordto just take him.

(01:01):
And then when he went, it just,you know, it was just harder
than I thought it would be.
I was grateful that I got tospend time with him the last
day.
I got to pray with him.
I got to, you know, readscripture over him with my
pastor and, and that was reallya blessing, but.
Uh, grief is real.

(01:22):
And one of the things that Ilearned as I was going through
the process with him those lastdays and then even after he was
gone, is I learned that, andthis is something I told him
many times, because he was sucha gentleman, he never wanted to
admit that there was anythingwrong.
He didn't wanna say that he wasin pain and I started saying to

(01:42):
him, dad, it's, it's okay to notbe okay.
And at one point I realized thatI was doing the same thing.
People would say, how you doing?
And I'd say, oh, I'm okay.
Uh, you know, I'm, I'm doingfine.
You know, put the positive spinon it.
And then one day I just realizedthat I needed to listen to my

(02:04):
own words and that it was okayto not be okay.
So as the days.
Got closer.
I started saying, you know,this, this has been tough.
It's been a difficult day.
Today especially was, was adifficult day or whatever the
real answer was.
And even, you know, when it cametime and people, all kinds of

(02:28):
people were offering, what canwe do?
How can I help?
And.
For the most part, uh, we gotall the help we needed.
We, we kept things reallysimple, but there were a couple
of times when I just said, youknow, if you could do this, that
would be really great.
And people stepped up and didthat, and I'm so grateful for

(02:49):
that.
And so I'm here to encourage youone to be okay with not being
okay and share that.
You don't have to share it withthe world.
You don't have to post to theworld how sad you are.
But there are certain peoplethat you need to let in.
You need to be able to talkabout that and share about that.
So I just wanted to share that.
Um, and secondly, I wanted toshare how the words that we

(03:12):
express to people really matter.
Pastor gave a beautiful sermonat Dad's celebration.
And the title of the service wasThe Power of Words, and he
really hit home.
Um, my dad's wonderful abilityto make people, especially young
people, feel really good aboutthemselves because he was

(03:35):
encouraging and supportive ofthem.
And I have people all weektelling me how blessed they
were, that, you know, 40 yearsago he was encouraging them and
they still remember that.
So I just want to encourage youto be that person for.
Other children, other adults,other people.
I'd forgotten how hard griefhits and how emotionally

(03:58):
draining it is and how exhaustedwe are and you know, even.
You know, even as we're goingthrough it.
As an introvert, I know that Iget really drained around
crowds.
So purposefully I was kind ofholding close to those times
when I might be able to just beby myself and charge my battery
before I needed them.
And I encourage you to do thatas well.

(04:19):
Um, but I was surprised at howuplifting.
Being at the celebration was andbeing with other people who
loved my dad, and loved me andmy family and just to be
together and encourage andsupport, you know, I know people
who say, I'm not gonna have afuneral that seems to be a trend
these days.
Don't have a funeral just, andI'm going to, I'm gonna

(04:41):
challenge you to really thinkabout whether that's the right
way to go or not.
Because we need each other, weneed community and that.
Community and that servicecompletely changed everything.
I feel like it shifted me fromhaving a broken, empty heart
that just everything had leakedout to coming in and it's, it

(05:04):
reminded me of the pot wherethey talk about, in some
cultures where, you know, thegold filled the, the broken.
Shards and puts'em backtogether.
And I feel like that's what thatservice did for me.
It, it put my heart backtogether and it's just so full
and so, um, I just, just so muchlighter.
I told my kids today, I feellike I woke up from a fog.

(05:27):
And so I just encourage you asyou give people condolences,
share the stories that youremember about their loved one.
Um, I have so many visions ofwhat dad might be doing in
heaven this week.
You know, he is telling jokeswith Jesus and he's cheering
kids on from the, uh, rodeoarena, and he's singing his

(05:48):
auctioneer song and he's havinga beer with his wife and he's,
reading the Bible with his mamaand so many beautiful images
that people painted for me.
So I just, I wanna remind youit's okay to not be okay and to
freely share those encouragingwords because you have no idea

(06:08):
the impact that they will make.
I will be talking more about dadand the lessons that I learned
from his life in the weeks tocome.
In fact, in two weeks we'regonna have an episode where I
did an interview with a chaplainwhere we talk about the
Christian perspective ofdementia and how we can embrace

(06:31):
that eventuality in lifedifferently than the world does.
So I hope you'll come back forthat.
I also want to kind of alonglines with that, um, later in
September, I'm going to besharing, I'm gonna start a bible
study on the book that's calledRaising Kids to Follow Christ.

(06:52):
It's intended for parents, butit's also intended for
grandparents and teachers andanyone.
Who knows a child, anyone wholoves a child, who, anyone who's
around children in their life,that pretty much means everyone,
right?
Anyway, I'm gonna be doing aface-to-face study here in the
community if you're in andaround PIerre but I'm also gonna
try and find a way to work in anonline component, and then I'm

(07:16):
also going to have a thread inmy ClubMore.
If you're familiar with that,sign up for my newsletter, go to
my website.
Um, if you see somewhere whereyou can join club more, do that
because I think we can have somereally amazing conversations
about how we can encourage andinspire young people and each
other to trust God.

(07:38):
So I just invite you to, to joinme for those things that are
coming up.
I wanted to keep this shorttoday, but I also think it's
important to, um, step up and,and be.
Be real when, when life happensto us.
So, um, I just thank you.
If you were one of those thatsent a text, who shared a story,

(08:02):
who came to the services postedon Facebook?
I haven't responded.
Uh, maybe I will someday.
I don't know.
But anyway, um, I just, I justthank you for.
For the support.
I thank you for being here, andI just, um, thank you for, for
listening to CourageousRetirement and I hope that it

(08:23):
inspires you to answer God'scall to more whatever that is in
your life.
So again, thank you for stoppingby.
Go be blessed and always, alwayslive your more.