Hidden Pain To Confident Joy: A Story Of Healing and Growth

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Some stories change how you look at your own life. Nicole’s does that and more. We sit down with the woman who keeps our financial engine humming and hear the side most people don’t see: surviving childhood sexual abuse, navigating years of silence, and slowly learning to trust herself again. What follows is an honest map of resilience—how she rebuilt self-worth, repaired her relationship with her body, and chose a definition of success that actually fits.

We explore the turning points: the first time she spoke out and wasn’t believed by everyone, the mentor who offered refuge like family, and the moment healing made room for her voice. Nicole shares practical advice for anyone carrying shame or doubt—believe yourself first, find therapy that meets you where you are, and let safe people hold part of the weight. She also tackles body image head-on, contrasting 90s magazine ideals with today’s broader view, and shows how medical weight loss helped her reclaim energy, play soccer with her son, and actually want to be in the pictures. It’s not about perfection; it’s about presence.

Along the way, we talk confidence, gentle aesthetics (yes to laugh lines, maybe softened), gym goals for more endorphins, and the freedom of rewriting life paths outside old timelines. Nicole proves you don’t need marriage, kids, or a certain degree to count—you need a definition of success that feels true. If you’ve been waiting for permission to ask for help, to try a new path, or to show up fully in your own story, consider this your nudge.

If this conversation moved you, share it with someone who needs hope today. Subscribe for more human stories, leave a review to help others find us, and follow along on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook. Your support helps these messages reach the people who need them most.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:14):
Welcome back to Couture Conversations, where we
go beyond the treatments, thetrends, and the transformations
to take a deeper look at thepeople who make Couture what it
is.
Today's episode is a special onebecause we're sitting down with
someone who has lived, learned,struggled, grown, and come out
stronger on the other side.
We're talking with Nicole today.
Nicole is usually behind thescenes, helping guide the

(00:37):
financial heartbeat of Couture,but today we're stepping into
her personal world.
We're talking about her journey,the hives that shaped her, the
challenges that tested her, andthe defining moments that pushed
her towards growth.
She's opening up about thestruggles she's faced, the wins
that she's fought for, and howshe's learned to navigate life
with resilience and grace.
We'll explore where she istoday, what she envisions for

(01:00):
the future, and the wisdom she'sgained along the way.
Wisdom that might just helpanyone who's listening walking
through their own tough seasonas well.
This is a raw, honest, andbeautiful, beautifully human
conversation.
So as we're settling in, let'stalk with Nicole.
Welcome again, Nicole.
Thank you for joining me again.

SPEAKER_01 (01:21):
I love it.

SPEAKER_00 (01:22):
God, good.
So this is your second episodewith me.
How about your first one?

SPEAKER_01 (01:26):
Uh it was easy.

SPEAKER_00 (01:31):
Easier than you thought.

SPEAKER_01 (01:32):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:33):
Everyone comes in so nervous and then they do one and
they're like, okay, this isn'ttoo bad.
All right.
So for those of you who have notmet Nicole yet, um, Nicole, what
is your job title at Couture andkind of how would you describe
yourself today?

SPEAKER_01 (01:51):
Yes, I'm Nicole at Couture and I'm the director of
accounting.
Um, what I am today, I am astrong, independent career
woman.
I'm a mom, I'm a girly girl.
I just, you know, living life tomy fullest right now.

(02:12):
Happy to be in my 40s and livingit up.

SPEAKER_00 (02:17):
Well, you look amazing.
Thank you.
And you genuinely sound so happywhen you say that.
So I love to hear that.

SPEAKER_01 (02:23):
We've come a long way.

SPEAKER_00 (02:25):
I love to hear that.
So when you look back at yourlife so far, what are some key
experiences that have shaped whoyou are today?

SPEAKER_01 (02:34):
Well, we're gonna get deep.
Um so for me, it's been uhchildhood essay, sexual abuse.
And how that has shaped me isthat's how you view it's how

(02:54):
I've viewed myself, how I'velost my innocence, how I've um
how I've overcome, how I've notlet it define me.
Uh but also being able to bethere and share with others and
give them the strength to knowthat that they're not alone.

(03:19):
Um I think my generation there'sa lot more that is happened than
um than we're all willing to totalk about, you know, and it's
it's surprising how many peoplehave been affected um and have
been you know scared to talkabout.

(03:40):
And you know, I think the theculture in the world today, you
know, is that we're able to talkabout it more and be a lot more
open um and heal together andlift others up and be strong
women that can be there forother women.
Um you know, so for me, it wasbig because you know, I was

(04:06):
young and you know, workingthrough it alone.
Um but I feel like even thoughit kind of stinks, it's really
made me a stronger person, astronger woman, a stronger uh in
knowing what I want, uh beingable to overcome and achieve and

(04:29):
be proud of myself for that.
Um and I am proud of that, youknow, and there there is no
shame uh anymore, you know, butthat that comes with work, you
know.
So uh that I think a lot of alot of who I am, what I've done,

(04:49):
um, how I respond to things, itall you know, it all comes back
to that and um you know myability to be resilient and
overcome.
And uh so yeah, that's whatthat's what I'm proud of.

SPEAKER_00 (05:04):
So obviously, as much or as least uh detail or
information as you want, but howlong after your experience was
it before you actually spokeabout it?

SPEAKER_01 (05:19):
It was it was several years, you know, several
years.
And the the mixture of peoplewho, you know, either wanted to
say, you know, I wasn'ttruthful, um, but then there was
the people who believed in me.
Um me believing in myself.

(05:40):
And but also, you know, but thatwas just you know, this the the
iceberg, but then it wassomething we just didn't talk
about.
Um now for me as I've you knowgotten older and you know can
make a voice for myself, um youknow, I want to share because I
know there are people out therethat are facing that those same

(06:01):
inner struggles and you know areafraid.
And if we can't be um a voice tohelp those, um you know, because
I think there's many many ladiesuh and men that you know they
keep it internal and it justthey're not able to overcome.
And um you just wanna you wannabe able to help those people.

SPEAKER_00 (06:26):
What was it that made you finally feel like you
could say something?

SPEAKER_01 (06:31):
Um I I would say it's it was my own um my own
healing is what you know allowsme to talk about it.
Uh yes, and and it's it's hardin in some occasions, like you
know, even now talking about itand being able to, you know,
articulate it.
Um but it's it's it's wanting tobe able to make sure that other

(06:59):
people don't have to go throughwhat I had to.

SPEAKER_00 (07:02):
What advice would you give someone who's maybe
struggling with that and eitherhasn't said anything or have
people who necessarily, yeah,don't believe them or push it to
the side.
What's what's some advice thatthat you found helpful and that
you think would be helpful tosomeone else?

SPEAKER_01 (07:22):
Believe in yourself, you know, you have to be uh your
own advocate.
And you know, I know it's easiersaid than done to say don't
listen to what other people haveto say, but you know, no, it's
not your fault.
You know, it's nothing to beashamed of.
And you didn't do it, you didn'tcause it.

(07:43):
Um you you can and will get tothe other side of it and be able
to do what feels right for you.
You don't have to be an advocateor feel, you know, or speak
about it or whatever, but youknow, you can still be stronger
and better in spite of um butbelieve in yourself is what you

(08:05):
gotta do and you know gettherapy if you need it.

SPEAKER_00 (08:09):
Do you feel how how much of an effect did that have
on you?
Um, I know you kind of mentionedit, but your self-esteem or how
you felt about yourself as aperson and ultimately was there
what what what did you use tohelp change that feeling?

SPEAKER_01 (08:27):
Yeah, there was um I was very self-conscious, uh,
very I would feel um I don'twant to say shame about my body,
but a very conservative andmodest, you know.
I'm not I wasn't I wouldn't bethe kind of person that was, you
know, um wearing clothing thatwas revealing.

(08:51):
I was, you know, uh you know,but I was I was reserved.
Um so it affected me in myself-image, my body image, um,
my relationships, uh trusting ofpeople, um just even trusting of

(09:13):
adults, trusting of uh lawenforcement.
Uh you know, just there was alot of um I but I also have like
uh an independent streak.
So, you know, I'm like, okay, Ican I can handle this, I can um,

(09:36):
I can I can do I don't needother people.
Uh so you know there was I wasdetermined, I was uh and I think
those were some of thecharacteristics that allowed me
to to move on and overcome andand do better for myself.
You know, I wanted I wanted tosucceed uh no matter no matter

(10:00):
what.
And and that was what drove meis is the desire to to be the
best person that I could be.
Um but yeah, a lot of a lot oflike my mannerisms and stuff was
a result of of the thatexperience, but it's it's

(10:22):
evolved over time, you know,with relationships, um
parenthood, um, and just youknow, my own personal growth and
healing over time.
You know, it's it's not it's notinstant, it's always evolving.

SPEAKER_00 (10:37):
Were there any people or mentors that you had
that kind of helped you throughthat process?

SPEAKER_01 (10:43):
Yeah.
Um, I had a uh caregiver,babysitter, you know, uh
something like that.
Not a grandmother, but agrandmother-like figure that had
been in my life um since I was alittle child.
And you know, she was alwayssomeone who was a refuge.

(11:03):
Um I could always stay at herhome.
Um she treated me like agrandchild.
Um, you know, she always, youknow, was you know, faith-based.
So, you know, um always in thethe church and laying that
foundation and just, you know,if I needed it, she was there.
Um and all the way through, youknow, adulthood until she she

(11:27):
did pass away.
But um she was she was alwaysyou know, someone that I if I if
I needed it and and she believedin me and and was always
supporting me, you know, throughall my my endeavors, whether it
was schooling, career,relationships, parenthood, uh so

(11:51):
I mean I f I was fortunate, youknow, that I did have that
support system.
So, you know, it doesn't evenhave to be, you know, if another
person is is going throughsomething simil similar, then
you know, you don't have to havea family member.
It can be a family member, butyou know, if it's a friend or or
another adult that's in yourlife that can be supportive of

(12:13):
you, that's you know, hang on tothem.

SPEAKER_00 (12:17):
So when you look at your life uh from back then to
where you are now, what wouldyou say the biggest difference
is?

SPEAKER_01 (12:25):
Uh my biggest is difference is my confidence and
you know, just getting past allof those those uh self-image
issues that you know I thinkwomen go through.
And gosh, even even just growingup in the 90s, you know, that
itself everything was, you know,the magazines and um the models

(12:49):
and uh just that whole thatwhole culture is was I think
similar but different to today.
I mean, today it's just in yourface uh with every social media,
you know, but but there's a lotmore boss body positivity these
days.
So that you know, we can love orit wasn't always about being the

(13:12):
thinnest, the blondest, orwhatever, you know, it's we're
accepting of all.
Um, and that's that's what'sgreat about today.
And I can go out there and beconfident and confident in my
skin and love who I am, and eveneven with you know, the positive
things that you know I've donehere at Kutor.

(13:34):
Uh, but you know, even evenbeyond then, I I love how we are
today.

SPEAKER_00 (13:39):
What's something that you've learned about
yourself through all these upsand downs?

SPEAKER_01 (13:44):
Um that I am strong and that I am resilient and that
I can do it, you know.
Uh not so much the whole womenwe can have it all, but you
know, I can I can go forwhatever I want.
Um you know, the opportunity isthere so that I can go pursue

(14:05):
what I want to pursue.
Um and and it doesn't have tofollow a specific path.
You know, I think my generationit was ingrained that you, you
know, you get married, you havekids, you do this young, maybe
you go to to work, maybe youdon't.

(14:27):
But you know, that's you know,this this path that you're
supposed to take.
And uh, you know, now I've youknow I've learned that you know
I don't have to follow thatpath.
Or even even the path of, youknow, you go to college, you get
a job, you then, you know, um,you know, you don't have to.
You can you can it's collegesand everything, you can do um

(14:51):
other uh paths, whether it'strade schools or you know,
social media or things likethat.
Um you don't have to havechildren.
Uh you don't have to have, youknow, you don't have to be
married.
You can still be a successfulwoman without all of those
things.

(15:12):
It's you know, how do you defineyour own success?
Um, it doesn't matter what otherpeople say.

SPEAKER_00 (15:18):
And I've known you for what just over three years
now.
We were just talking about thisbefore we started.
And I've seen yourtransformation, and not even
just, you know, physically incertain ways either, but I can
tell when I I don't get to seeyou very often in person, which
I hate, but um, when I do seeyou in person or when I do, you

(15:39):
know, see you on social media, Ican tell just how genuinely
happy you are right now, and Ilove that.
I can see the happiness justradiates the positivity, and you
really do embody that.
And I can tell it's verygenuine, and I love that for
you.
I I love seeing that, and I'veI've loved watching that that

(16:02):
transformation from you.

SPEAKER_01 (16:03):
Yeah, we've had uh a glow-up the past year and a
half.
So uh thank you, Kator.
Uh, we since we uh launched ourum weight loss memberships, I've
been able to um get in on thatthat gravy boat.

(16:23):
Um and gravy train, whatever.
Train boat, we'll take it,whatever gets us there.
Uh you know, and start takingthose those weekly weight loss
shots and you know, letting itwork for me and helping my
lifestyle.
So, you know, prior to that, Ihad been, you know, 70 pounds

(16:45):
heavier.
I lost 70 pounds.
Um, but I felt like I couldn'tmove.
I didn't love taking pictures.
Um, you know, my son was, youknow, is young and you know,
he'd want to do activities andit, you know, I didn't have the
energy for it.
And, you know, now I can I canmove, I can bend, I can, you

(17:08):
know, play with him, um, I cango play soccer with him.
We can go to the theme parks.
Um, you know, I can I can fit ina roller coaster and feel
comfortable about it, you know.
I can I want to take pictureswith him because I look good,
you know, so I'm not always theperson behind the camera
anymore.
And, you know, it's aboutgetting in on those experiences

(17:31):
and experiencing it with him sothat we have the memories and
you know, but then on top ofthat, you know, if I'm happy,
then I can bring my best self tohim and our family.
So um that that's what you knowthat transformation has helped

(17:52):
do for me is to just change notjust my physical body and allow
me to do other things, but youknow, my attitude and and and my
outlook on life and um and whereI'm going.
And that translates intospreading that love to him.

SPEAKER_00 (18:10):
So when you look at yourself from where you were a
few years ago to who you arenow, what would you say your
biggest difference is?

SPEAKER_01 (18:17):
That smile.
You know, I'm like, look at whenthe dimples start popping, you
know, and that's um showing alittle more teeth, you know, all
of those things, letting lettingmy crow's lines out.
But then let's let's let's hitthem up with a little Botox too.

SPEAKER_00 (18:38):
I know I'm always like, there's nothing wrong with
like a little crow showing itshows you smile, or like
people's like my laugh lines.
I'm like, that you're smilingand laughing, and I love that.
We don't need to make them allgo away.
Maybe soften them a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 (18:51):
Softening is asked for.

SPEAKER_00 (18:53):
But I liked each other.
We've got some emotion going on.
We like the smiles and laughter.
Yes, it takes more more musclesto take more muscles to frown
than they smile.

SPEAKER_01 (19:06):
Yeah, just don't do it, yeah.
Don't frown.

SPEAKER_00 (19:09):
Yeah, don't do it.
How would you describe thiscurrent season of your life?

SPEAKER_01 (19:14):
It's it's um the positive upward trajectory.
It's it's it's great, theglow-up.
Um, you know, just not just thephysical transformation, but
just the attitude and andlooking forward to, you know,
what the next year brings, youknow, as as we come into the new
year and just being excited for,you know, like ah, 2026, finally

(19:37):
gonna be my year.
I've been saying that for everyyear, every every year.
I'm like, it's gonna be my year.
And then something happens.
Like, I can truly believe itnow.

SPEAKER_00 (19:46):
2026 is gonna be good.

SPEAKER_01 (19:47):
It is.

SPEAKER_00 (19:49):
What brings you pure joy right now?

SPEAKER_01 (19:52):
Uh, my kiddo, of course.
You know, seeing him grow up,it's I think the best part of ch
of children is being able tolive the world through their
eyes, you know, and be a childagain.
And, you know, watch you know,take them to do the things that
I enjoyed as a kid and andseeing him enjoy it.

(20:14):
And you know, you know, rollercoasters and um all the holiday
experiences we have around hereand Santa and uh yeah just you
know you can tell it's aChristmas season.

SPEAKER_00 (20:29):
We love the Christmas season around here.

SPEAKER_01 (20:32):
So you know just being a kid again is yeah that's
where I'm at.

SPEAKER_00 (20:37):
I like it.

SPEAKER_01 (20:38):
So all the positive changes that you've made all the
changes that you've had is thereanything that you're currently
still working on yeah just Imean it it's a continuous you
know yeah continuing um so eventhough I did you know the the
weight loss shots now I'm reallyfocusing on uh the working out

(21:01):
the gym aspect um we know all ofthe endorphins that come with
that so um seeing how that'sgonna further transform and
boost my energy and boost mymood and um so you know I'm I'm
excited to get back in the gymyou know so that that's where I

(21:24):
continue to work.
Nicole the gym girly you know Iused to ever since I became an
adult and moved out here to callfor college yeah I've always had
a gym membership always what youknow a variety of gyms you know
whatever was running theirlatest cell um so I I've always

(21:45):
been doing it and then I Istopped when I had uh my son
just because I didn't have thetime between work and taking
care of him to and to not youknow not having a whole lot of
like support there.
So I just stopped and you knowthat led to a lot of the the
weight challenges but it's goodto get back into the gym.

(22:05):
Good I wish that should be mygoal for 2026 too I started out
real strong when I started themy weight loss too started out
real strong in the gym and I'vebeen slack in a while so yeah
you get you get to the gym I'llget there too it's not easy I
mean really not you know likeduring COVID I was like ah I can

(22:28):
do this right I signed up forone of those gym memberships
that were close to my house andso that's been what five years
now I have not stepped foot inthat gym since since I I mean
they've never seen my face I'mlike I really need to get in
there and cancel that one I'veI've gotten a different

(22:50):
membership since but you knowI'm like why am I still paying
for that I always joke about howmuch I just donate to the gym
it's that's what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_00 (22:58):
It's my monthly donation here you go because
I've not used any of yourequipment one day get back in
there and that's what keepsdriving like I'm gonna start
again I can't cancel it I'mgonna go I've already paid my
initiation fee.

SPEAKER_01 (23:11):
So for any listeners going through their own
struggles what advice do youhave for them you know you will
see the other side you knowthere is a light at the end of
the tunnel um might be a longtunnel but don't give up believe
in yourself and you know seekhelp um don't be afraid to ask

(23:34):
for help that that has been hardfor me because you just that
independent nature is you knowuh my mom always jokes she's
like Nicole when you were a kidyou used to stomp your little
foot and say I can do it myselfwhether it was dressing you know
putting my clothes on orwhatever the case may be she's
like she always tells me aboutstomping my little foot and

(23:58):
breaking breaking uh away fromthat that stubbornness and and
independence and say you knowwhat I can't ask for help and
it's okay and sometimes you needto what do you hope people walk
away with after hearing yourstory that they can do it you
know they they can overcometheirs you know and then from

(24:22):
the outside looking in peoplecan look in and see or they can
be on the outside and say ohshe's she's got it all or
whatever.
But you never know you know whatother people are going through
you know be kind to one anotherand feel free to share and
relate you know and I thinksometimes these days you know

(24:42):
we're not connecting with peopleanymore.
Um so you know go and and talkwith your friends make friends
don't be afraid to to connectdon't be afraid to share I hope
you know my story can show thateven when things seem really

(25:03):
really crappy like it's it'sokay you can get to the other
side and I mean it's I've I'vestruggled in in relationships
and and even in careers and umit's it's not all been roses so
we've all I mean I've you knowhit the depression I've hit the
the weight struggles the bodyissues um all the emotions um

(25:28):
even even thinking that I wasn'tgonna be able to be a mom you
know that that was that was mythirties my twenties you know
thinking that I I wasn't gonnabe able to be a mom and that had
you know had been my dream mygoal when I set up you know my
life is that I was gonna be ableyou know to to be home in the
evening for my family and uh andand then I got I got to

(25:54):
experience that so you knowthere's you just never know
where your your life is gonna gojust don't give up I hope I hope
people know that they can do itand and just keep going one foot
in front of the other one day ata time all right well we've
gotten emotional and deep and Ilove it but we're gonna end on
some fun.

SPEAKER_00 (26:14):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (26:15):
All right so some rapid fire questions oh boy
another another round yourfavorite guilty pleasure snack
oh my latest one has been bananapeanut butter and Greek yogurt
so lots of protein lots of sugarthat I'm not supposed to be

(26:36):
having sounds delicious I'mgonna have to try that yes great
combo if you could teleportanywhere right now where would
you go?
So my next bucket list vacationspot is like a mountain cabin
with a hot tub with a view sothat's where I like it.

SPEAKER_00 (26:57):
What movie can you quote start to finish?
Hmm Harry Potter I love thewhole series and the books and
yeah what house are you I'm aRavenclaw I I could see that
what's the last thing yougoogled so I've been googling

(27:20):
like different holidayexperiences so there's a local
like light show that I want todo so um and those times you
know what what the rates are andstuff what's your current binge
watching show um well everysummer I always binge watch big
brother three nights a week umeven follow the twitters and the

(27:43):
in the in the pages you know sobig brother is my my guilty
pleasure and sometimes they runa winter special so if you had
to live on one food forever whatwould it be uh tacos or burrito
bowls love it they've goteverything like you know you got

(28:03):
your starch your protein salsaeven throw queso on there and
guacamole I like it well Nicolethank you very much for joining
me today thank you for beingopen and sharing your journey
and you know hopefully it canreach as many people as possible
and even if it helps one personI think that's amazing and I

(28:26):
admire you and I've lovedwatching you grow and I loved
seeing your changes and the trueI know I've said this already in
here but the genuine happinessthat I can see you know on your
face every time I get to see youand you spread your positivity
to everyone else and it'samazing.
So thank you for being you andfor being who you are and thank

(28:49):
thank you for joining me today.

SPEAKER_01 (28:51):
Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 (28:53):
Please if this message resonates with you or
with anyone that you know pleaseshare this episode with any
family, friends.
Don't forget to like andsubscribe you can follow us on
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We're on YouTube, Instagram,TikTok, Facebook, all the things
you can also find us um all ofour information at
KatorMedspa.com so thank youvery much for joining another

(29:15):
episode of Kutor Conversationsand uh we'll see you next time.