"Wonderful Time" - A Play by Jonathan Marc Sherman | COVEpod 37

Imagine the electric atmosphere of a theater, the stage alive with the raw emotions of young adulthood, as we share Jonathan Marc Sherman's "Wonderful Time," a play that strikes the chords of love, life, and the laughter in between. This episode isn't just a casual listen; it's an invitation to the front row of an intimate, energizing performance starring Stephanie Renee Wall, Hunter Ackerman, Darrin Ingram, Todd Stubbler, Karen Baughn, Sam Mikelic, and COVEpod host Paul Carganilla, as they navigate the trials of rebellious prom nights, candid wedding speeches, and the unpredictable waves of new romance. It's a tapestry of human connection, complete with mature language and the unfiltered zest of life.

[ NO COPYRIGHT OR PROFIT INTENDED. Jonathan Marc Sherman is the Author and sole and exclusive Author of the Play "WONDERFUL TIME" ]

CAST:
Linus Worth - Paul Carganilla
Betsy Flynn - Stephanie Renee Wall
Clyde - Hunter Ackerman
Female Utility - Karen Baughn
Male Utility - Todd Stubbler , Sam Mikelic
Narrator - Darrin Ingram

COVE EPISODE VIDEOS: www.covetube.com
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COVE PATREON: www.patreon/covepodcast
CONTACT: [e-mail]

VOICE-OVER INTRODUCTION: Jonathan Freeman ( 'Jafar' in the "Aladdin" animated films )
SOCIAL MEDIA TEAM: Craig Jackman, Emily Thatcher, Christina Marie Bielen, Dary Mills, Amanda Benjamin
PATREON CURATORS: Jamie Carganilla, Emily Thatcher, The Faeryns, Charity Swanson, Krista Faith King, Kelsey B Gibson, Angelica Bollschweiler, Anna Giannavola, Gina Dobbs, Merrill Mielke, Susan Kuhn, Josefa Snider
INTRO MUSIC: “Papi Beat” [ KICKTRACKS ]
CREDITS MUSIC: “Fat Banana” [ KICKTRACKS ]
HOST, CREATOR, EXECUTIVE PRODUCER, CREATIVE DIRECTOR, EDITOR: Paul Carganilla

[ NO COPYRIGHT OR PROFIT INTENDED. Jonathan Marc Sherman is the Author and sole and exclusive Author of the Play "WONDERFUL TIME" ]

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Carganella
Online Variety EntertainmentPodcast.
Here's your host, PaulCarganella.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hello and welcome to Cove.
This is the online variety showat which we aim to both
entertain and inspire both ourpodcast listeners and YouTube
viewers through a variety ofdifferent art forms, including
music, storytelling, poetry,special guest interviews, travel
blogs and so much more.
Today, I'm going to feature afull-length play reading of a

(00:39):
play called Wonderful Time byplaywright Jonathan Mark Sherman
.
Now, when the COVID pandemiccame down, my friends and I
started a YouTube channel calledthe Vodacity Network and on
that network, we did some improvcomedy, we did live shows, live
music and featured several livereadings of plays, and this is

(01:00):
just one of them.
We actually read this one inApril 2021, three years ago but
I wanted to dust it off becauseit was just so much fun and I
think you will enjoy listeningto it here in the podcast realm.
And, of course, if you want towatch the video, head over to
CoveTubecom.
It's on our CovePod YouTubechannel as well if you want to

(01:24):
see the performances and notjust hear them.
Speaking of performances, Iwant to thank, three years later
, my friends Darren Ingram playsthe narrator.
Todd Stubbler does a utility,several different smaller male
roles.
Karen Bond she read thefemale's utility roles.
My friend Sam Miklitsch read acouple of roles as well.

(01:44):
Hunter Ackerman is one of themain actors in this reading and
I played the lead opposite, myfriend Stephanie Renee Wall,
here in Jonathan Mark Sherman'swonderful time.
I hope you enjoy it.
Now, just a side note.
This is we're performing thiscompletely for free.

(02:04):
We're not making money off ofthis and we have no copyright or
profit intended from streamingthis story.
Jonathan Mark Sherman is theauthor and sole and exclusive
author of this play, but youknow we want to share it with as
many people as possible, so hisword gets out there.

(02:25):
I hope you enjoy Jonathan MarkSherman's wonderful time.
I do need to say before webegin that a lot.
There is some strong languagein here, so we'll go ahead and
say that it is rated R, but ifyou are of mature demeanor and
you can handle a few bad words,that's all it is.

(02:49):
There's a few bad words, butwe're very excited for this.
Can't wait to bring it for you,to you.
So, without any further ado,ladies and gentlemen, here is Mr
Jonathan Mark Sherman'swonderful time.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Scene one a nondescript room.
Linus Worth sits against abland background.
He's sort of good looking,sometimes charming, always lost.
He is interviewed by anoffstage voice Name.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Linus Worth Age 23.
Height 5'8" Weight, 1.75" EyesBrown.

Speaker 4 (03:41):
Hair.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
Black Race.
I'm kind of a mutt and Ishouldn't have to answer that
that's an optimal question.
It's optional, yes, optional.
I didn't know that.
Ask me again.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
Race.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Marathon.

Speaker 4 (04:03):
Occupation.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Film, student Drugs, confusion, alcohol Confusion.
Music Makes the heart grow,fonder.

Speaker 4 (04:19):
That's absence.
Absence makes the heart growfonder.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, the absence of music makes the heart grow
fonder.
In other words, I'm fond ofmusic, I like music.
I have some CDs, compact discs,no certificates of deposit from
my grandparents.

Speaker 4 (04:39):
Sex Confusion, male or female.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
Confusion Life, uh Confusion.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
Scene 2.
Linus' dormitory room.
On the wall by the bed is thefamous Robert de Signo poster,
la Bessaire de L'Hotel Deville,paris 1950.
With a man kissing a woman aspeople walk by, linus sits on
his bed with Robin, hisgirlfriend.
They're in the middle of aconversation.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
That is a bizarre dream.
Was Miss New York a finalist?

Speaker 6 (05:20):
Have you been with anybody else?

Speaker 2 (05:24):
Been with.
What do you mean?

Speaker 6 (05:28):
Have you kissed or fooled around with or slept with
somebody else?
Have you been unfaithful?
Have you cheated on me?
You know been with yeah.
What.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, I have been yeah.

Speaker 6 (05:49):
With who?

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Different people.

Speaker 6 (05:55):
What different people ?
Specifically, all sorts ofdifferent people.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
It sounds like a lot yeah.

Speaker 6 (06:06):
Why.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Well.

Speaker 6 (06:09):
Am I not good enough?

Speaker 2 (06:11):
No, that's not, it at all.

Speaker 6 (06:13):
Are they better in bed?
I hope so.
I really do.
I hope you're not losing me toa bunch of amateurs, losing you.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
Losing me.

Speaker 6 (06:25):
Why, I don't know.
Maybe because you're a cheatingliar and a lying cheat.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
I never lied to you.
You never told me the truth.
You can't walk out on me now.

Speaker 6 (06:35):
I can't.
What about Clyde's wedding?
I'm not going.

Speaker 5 (06:44):
Yeah, hey, clyde, I'm going.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
Linus stands and blocks the door.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
We're just getting ready for the trip.
Get away from the door.
Linus.
Robin's excited to meet you too.

Speaker 6 (06:56):
I'll scream.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah, I know Primal scream thing releases tension.
She's Clyde buddy.
I gotta go.
I'll see you soon, later Robin.
We've been planning this tripfor so long.

Speaker 6 (07:14):
Get away from the door.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
I told everybody at home about you.

Speaker 6 (07:18):
Tell them a little bit more.
Tell them I left you.
You're an unfaithful prick.
Tell them whatever you want totell them.
Just get away from the door,you macho, macho, shithead.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
One macho would be fine.

Speaker 6 (07:31):
Oh, don't try to turn this into a lesson.
You stupid, stupid fuck.
Yes, I needed to say stupidtwice to illustrate the depths
of your stupidity.
One stupid just would not do.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Not stupid.
Okay, Robin.
Okay, you were right.
Those other girls amateurs.
Okay, you want a comparison?
Okay, those girls were Snickersbars.
You're a steak, You're the maincourse.
Just please, can't you waituntil after the wedding to leave

(08:05):
me.

Speaker 6 (08:10):
They're Snickers bars .

Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, what's the matter?

Speaker 6 (08:17):
And I'm a steak.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Prime rib filet mignon what's wrong?

Speaker 6 (08:23):
Snickers bars are sweeter than steak.
Is that what you're saying?
Is that what you mean?
Robin, you think I'm not sweetenough.
Snickers bars are sweeter thansteak.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Snickers bars, give you cavities.

Speaker 6 (08:43):
Snickers bars are satisfying right.
Do those other girls satisfyyou?

Speaker 2 (08:46):
Come on Robin.

Speaker 6 (08:48):
Do they taste better than me?
Huh, do they?

Speaker 2 (08:53):
I can't believe we're talking about food.

Speaker 6 (08:56):
You're sweeter, more satisfying.
They taste better One nightstands Robin.
It adds up Linus Seven onenight stands make a week.
Three hundred sixty-five onenight stands make a year.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
You overestimate me.

Speaker 6 (09:10):
No, I don't Not anymore.
I don't, I'm going.
What about the wedding?
Take a Snickers bar.
I don't want to.
I want you to get away from thedoor.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
I don't want you to leave like this.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
Robin tears down half of the Dosenio poster from the
wall.

Speaker 6 (09:29):
What are you doing, getting you away from the door?

Speaker 3 (09:32):
Linus moves away from the door and walks towards the
poster.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
This poster is ruined .

Speaker 6 (09:39):
We're ruined, Linus.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
No, no, but I mean, this is really ruined.

Speaker 6 (09:44):
You wouldn't get away from the door.
I told you, but you wouldn'tmove.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
I don't want you to go, robin.
I'm going, maybe I'll change.

Speaker 6 (10:01):
Maybe Bye.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
Robin walks out, closing the door behind her.
Linus flops down onto the bedin between the two halves of the
poster the man's half whichhangs on the wall by the bed and
the woman's half which hangs onthe floor.
Scene three an editing room.
Linus and Ernie watch images onthe viewing screen of a flatbed

(10:26):
editing machine.
Ernie is a film student likeLinus, and he's editing Linus's
film.
Linus seems edgy, ernie seemsdistant.

Speaker 6 (10:36):
That's it.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
That's all the generic footage we have.

Speaker 5 (10:42):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
We don't have more airplanes taking off.
That's all she wrote.
Well, none of it really liftedmy spirits.
None of it made me soaralongside the plane.
It's all we got, but it's socliched the plane taking off
thing it's going to look likeevery other movie in the world.

Speaker 5 (11:07):
What should we do?
Get some footage of some kidriding on a big wheel.
It's a plane scene, Linus.
The scene takes place on anairplane.
The easiest way to establishthat is to show a plane taking
off.
It's why people use these shotsbecause they're easy.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Easy is for two o'clock in the morning at some
party after you've had eightbeers.
Now is not the time for easy.

Speaker 5 (11:33):
What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
What's?

Speaker 2 (11:38):
wrong Everything.
Do you ever feel like you'reabout to explode?
I mean, like I feel like I'mabout to explode?

Speaker 5 (11:49):
Linus, you're a smart guy living in a confusing
technological maze of fear andpain, you're supposed to feel a
little lost, it's normal.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Not lost.
I'm about to explode.
I literally I mean boom.
I'm 23 years old.
You know, all of a sudden, myoldest friend is getting married
and it's time to grow up.

Speaker 5 (12:17):
Growing up is great.
You can go to bed whenever youwant.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
I got to get my life straight, figure everything out,
get it in order and move alongtoward a happy future.
Right, that would be nice.
How can I do that?
I don't understand anything.
You understand movies?
Fine, yeah, I understand moviessort of, but I don't understand

(12:47):
women, or love or sex, or truthor my friends.

Speaker 5 (12:52):
Or my family, or work or society or technology, then
or now or later, or any of it, Iknow I know you understand
nothing, but don't let thatprevent you from having a wild
skateboard ride through thishuge translucent spider we call
life.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Are you on something?

Speaker 5 (13:16):
Not really.
I mean, I'm just shrooming.
What Shrooming?
You know, I eat some magicmushrooms and I'm tripping my
brains out.
Man, I just gave you some goodadvice and I just don't want you
to deny it.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
You're editing my film while you're tripping.
I got to get out of Californianow.

Speaker 5 (13:41):
You should get some good wedding footage.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
Everybody makes wedding films.
The wedding banquet 16 candles,the wedding dinner Betsy's
wedding.

Speaker 5 (13:54):
Diner the marrying man, godfather, splash Wedding
in blood.
Of course there are lots ofweddings and films.
All tragedies and in death, allcomedies and in marriage, Death
marriage.
What's the difference?

(14:15):
You really are down, man.
Take a volume right before theplane takes off.
Wash it down with some scotch.
Before you know it, you'll wakeup 3,000 miles away, refreshed
and feeling like a newborn baby.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
I don't have volume.
I do, of course you do.
I'm going.
Don't edit anything without me,I'll be fine.
Seriously, I'm leaving you withmy film.
Don't turn it into yellowsubmarine.

Speaker 5 (14:50):
Have a nice trip.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
You are having a nice trip.
I will have a nice flight.

Speaker 5 (14:57):
You get so obsessive and specific when it comes to
words man Relax.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
My best friends getting married.
You're eating magic mushroomsand floating around Jupiter when
you're supposed to be editingmy film.
My girlfriend dumped me and Idon't have a date and my flight
is only a couple of hours away,so this is not the time to relax
, man.

Speaker 5 (15:17):
Why'd Robin dump you Matt?

Speaker 2 (15:19):
I don't know.
Yes, I do.
I do kind of know.
Actually, I was unfaithful.
How'd you get caught?
She had a dream I was kissingall the finalists in the Miss
America pageant.
So she asked me if I'd beenwith anybody else and I said yes
.

Speaker 5 (15:41):
What Rewind?
Play that back again.
She has some sort of dream.
You ask if you've been fuckingaround and you say what?

Speaker 2 (15:53):
She asked and I said yes.

Speaker 5 (15:57):
Yeah, yeah, stupid, stupid, stupid dumb.
What are you?
What are you out of your mind?
I don't say yeah, you say no,just say no.
What were you thinking?

Speaker 2 (16:11):
I was thinking I should tell the truth.

Speaker 5 (16:15):
Why would you want to do that Lie?
Everybody lies.
Robin probably lied.
Who dreams about the MissAmerica contest?
Lie, fuck the truth.
The truth sucks.
That's why you make films.
That's why I take mushrooms.
The truth can suck my dick.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
I gotta go.

Speaker 5 (16:37):
Have a wonderful time .

Speaker 2 (16:40):
What'd you say?

Speaker 5 (16:43):
Have a wonderful time .

Speaker 2 (16:46):
Why wonderful?
Huh?
You always say good.
Whenever I go someplace, yousay have a good time.
Why should I have a wonderfultime this time?
What's different about today?

Speaker 5 (16:58):
Linus man, listen, I'm tripping.
All right, understand that youwant to have a good time.
All right, have that.
Just stop being so harsh.
You're really bumming me out.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
I'm sorry, I'm just really not calm.
I'm tense.

Speaker 5 (17:18):
If you're so tense, go to the wedding.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, I have to go.
I'm the best man.

Speaker 5 (17:28):
Somebody's got to be.
I'm the best man.
No, I'm the best man.
I'm the best man.
No, I'm the best man.
I'll be the best man.
My hero, fuck shit, fuck shit,fuck shit.

(17:48):
Foil again.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
Ernie continues to absently slap himself on the
left cheek, then the right cheek, over and over Scene four.
Linus walks along a path on thecollege campus, lost in thought
, a backpack on his shoulder.
He passes a female student witha video camera.
She calls out to Linus.
Her name is Betsy and she's alovely free spirit, wearing a

(18:13):
baby doll print dress with along string of knotted pearls
around her neck and wiresunglasses with blue frames on
her eyes.

Speaker 7 (18:21):
Linus right.

Speaker 3 (18:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (18:23):
Quick.
What's the most spontaneousthing you've ever done?

Speaker 2 (18:26):
What.

Speaker 7 (18:27):
Right, what's the most spontaneous thing you've
ever done?

Speaker 2 (18:31):
Oh, um, well, this right now.

Speaker 7 (18:38):
Answering this question.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
No, well, you see, I haven't done it yet.
I'm about to do it.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
Linus pulls out two plane tickets.
You see these.

Speaker 7 (18:46):
Looking at the camera .

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Well, these are two round trip tickets to New York
City for the weekend my bestfriend's getting married.
I'm the best man, so you know,obviously one of these tickets
is for me.

Speaker 7 (19:01):
Very spontaneous thing to do New York for the
weekend.
Highly spontaneous, great.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
You know, the spontaneous thing is that this
ticket right here, that's yours.

Speaker 3 (19:11):
Linus hands one of the tickets to Betsy.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
And our flight is in one hour.

Speaker 7 (19:17):
I uh, I'm finding.
Scene five Thank you, yes good.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Linus and Betsy are sitting next to one another on
the airplane.
Linus is sitting in the aisleseat.
Betsy is next to the window.
Betsy has a large purse on hershoulder and a copy of Rook's
Letters to a Young Poet in herhand.

Speaker 7 (19:38):
I was getting so fed up with all the boring things
people were doing.
It seemed like all the poetryhad disappeared from daily life
and nobody just did interestingthings.
Everything was just so plannedand planned and self-indulgent.
So I decided to do a classproject exploring spontaneity
among today's college students.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
At the risk of sounding cliche, what's your
major?

Speaker 7 (20:04):
American Studies.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
At the risk of asking too many questions.

Speaker 7 (20:08):
What's life without risk?

Speaker 2 (20:10):
If you're an American Studies major, why are you
reading Rilke?
He wasn't American.
The last time I checked.

Speaker 7 (20:18):
Sometimes you need to take a break from something to
be able to see it with fresheyes.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
That's what I said to my girlfriend.
She told me to stop trying tojustify cheating.

Speaker 7 (20:28):
Girlfriend.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
Ex-girlfriend.

Speaker 7 (20:32):
Cheating.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, possibly ex-cheating, possibly just a
preview of things to come forthe rest of my life.
I am trying to improve.

Speaker 7 (20:42):
That's admirable.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
It's a baby doll dress, isn't it?

Speaker 7 (20:49):
This, yeah, yeah, it's Betsy Johnson.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
I have many weaknesses.
One of my weakest is for babydoll dresses.
Let me correct that.
One of my For girls in babydoll dresses.
Let me correct that for womenin baby doll dresses.

Speaker 7 (21:09):
I'm going to need some more formal dresses then.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
You can borrow one of my sisters for the wedding.
What else are you going to need?

Speaker 7 (21:18):
Shoes.
Everything else is in the bag.
It's toothbrush, skin carevolume.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
Volume.

Speaker 7 (21:29):
Thank God I have some .
Six hour plane trips are not myidea of Papa Valium.
Wash it down with those littlebottles of something.
Wake up when you get there.
You should try it.

Speaker 4 (21:39):
If you look towards the screen in front of your
cabin, you'll see a preview ofour in-fight movie feature.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
Gatorade Tarkington from the Dallas Cowboys is Romeo
, a patriotic cop who's startingto lose hope.
We're losing the strength tothese drug lords and I don't
think there's a damn thing wecan do about it Without my
motorized skateboard.
The owner Dresseldorf from theCalvin Klein commercials is

(22:13):
Juliet, a hooker with a heart ofgold.
Only her heart stopped beatinglast year.

Speaker 6 (22:20):
I don't care who you are, god, you have to send me
back down to Earth.
My kid needs me.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
There's never been an action-adventure love story
quite like this one Romeo andJuliet and Guns.

Speaker 3 (22:38):
Scene 6.
Linus and Betsy sit in the backof a limousine.
Betsy is looking at the smallbar.

Speaker 7 (22:45):
Want something to drink.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
Betsy, I'm going to try something with you.

Speaker 7 (22:57):
I see.

Speaker 2 (22:59):
No, that didn't sound right.
I mean, I'd like to be totallyhonest with you.

Speaker 7 (23:09):
Totally honest.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
I want to tell the truth.

Speaker 7 (23:14):
The truth.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
I never.
I thought I never lied to myex-girlfriend and she thought I
never told the truth.
So you know, I think I shouldmake sure I tell the truth
rather than just being quiet.
I think it's a good idea.

Speaker 7 (23:36):
Go right ahead.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
Let me start with something easy.
I'm riding in a limo with you.
Your name is Betsy.

Speaker 7 (23:50):
My name is Linus.
So far, so good.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
Now things get more complicated.

Speaker 7 (24:01):
Okay, have you ever killed anybody?

Speaker 2 (24:03):
No.

Speaker 7 (24:05):
Just checking.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
I'm nervous around you.

Speaker 6 (24:13):
What did I do?

Speaker 2 (24:14):
It's not something you did, it's just who you are.
I mean, we just flew across thenation together.

Speaker 7 (24:25):
Oh, what do you think we should get married?

Speaker 2 (24:27):
What.

Speaker 7 (24:29):
I was, I was joking.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Betsy, if you have to say I'm joking after a joke,
chances are it wasn't reallyfunny.
We're going to a weddingtomorrow.
Come on, it's not something tojoke about.

Speaker 7 (24:42):
You just seemed so serious all of a sudden.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
I didn't.
I didn't used to be the personI am now.
I was crazy.
It was crazy for a while.

Speaker 7 (24:54):
What do you mean, crazy?

Speaker 2 (24:57):
I was different.
It all came to a boiling pointwhen I had this date with
Destiny.

Speaker 7 (25:05):
What kind of date with Destiny?

Speaker 2 (25:08):
The kind where you take a hooker to the prom.

Speaker 7 (25:11):
Is this for real?

Speaker 2 (25:13):
I'll show you the prom pictures.
I have them at home.

Speaker 7 (25:17):
No, couldn't you have ?
I don't know, asked acheerleader.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
I got really obsessed with going to the prom with a
professional.
It was my rebellious period.
I had long hair, drugs,drinking, but it didn't seem
complete without a prostitutenamed Destiny as a prom date.

Speaker 7 (25:37):
Your name wasn't really Destiny.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
Destiny O'Toole.
Oh my God, she said it was onher birth certificate.
She was actually pretty sweet,but when I was, you know
screwing her.

Speaker 6 (25:49):
You slept with her.

Speaker 2 (25:51):
You buy a car, you drive it.
Oh, there I was.
I had created my own littlescandal.
I was wasted.
I was on top of this woman, myhair was longer than her hair
and I thought of Jennifer.

Speaker 7 (26:12):
Who's Jennifer?

Speaker 2 (26:14):
Jennifer Kretnik.
She was a friend of mine when Iwas a little kid, eight or nine
years old, I used to go over toher apartment to play.
I tell my mom, hey, I'm goingto Jennifer's to play, didn't
know what we'd do, we didn'tplan anything, we just set aside

(26:38):
an afternoon to just have fun.
You know, and we did, we alwaysdid.
We found a way to enjoyourselves.
We didn't need props or poses,it didn't have to be hip or cool
or interesting, we just played.
And I decided right there, ontop of an Irish hooker named

(27:02):
Destiny, I wanted to play again,just play.
I cut my hair the next day.

Speaker 7 (27:13):
I wrote a Huey Lewis fan letter.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
That's not so bad.

Speaker 7 (27:19):
I sent him my underwear.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
That's bad.

Speaker 7 (27:22):
I sent my underwear to every teen idol I could think
of praying.
My parents would get upset youknow, and I like my parents.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
Did they get upset?

Speaker 7 (27:33):
No, no, they just kept buying me more underwear.
I tried, I tried everything.
Anything to get them to payattention.
I tried to get them to payattention to the typical stuff.
Anything to shock the shit outof them.
They kept trying to set me upwith everybody's uh, you know
these twisted parade of a bunchof rich, handsome boys marching,

(27:54):
headed for success, marchingtowards our house with this
parental seal of approval Boringas hell, incredibly predictable
, always doing something toprove that they weren't like
everybody else, that they werereally wacky and different.
I started out with a guitarplayer who bit my breasts.
He bit the.

(28:17):
Are you okay?
No, yeah, that part was great,that was great, but he stole my
second favorite necklace, andthat that wasn't so great.
He did make my parents reallyupset, though, so I guess it was
worth it in some weird twistedway.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
He got the job done.

Speaker 7 (28:36):
Finishing and work weren't really his specialties,
but he was dynamite for ourfirst two and a half weeks.
Those, those were undeniablygreat.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
They always are Sure are, Do you?
Do you think we were meant tomate for life?

Speaker 7 (28:58):
You and me.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
Nope People in general.
The average caveman only lived17 years.
You know, that's true.
It's a true fact.
I'm a scholar in caveman.

Speaker 7 (29:13):
Okay, listen, hold on , imagine, just go with me.
Imagine an eight and a halfyear old caveman having a
midlife crisis Okay Divorcinghis nine year old cavewife and
dating a cave girl half his age.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
Four, just four.

Speaker 7 (29:28):
It's fine.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
I mean till death.
Do us part to a caveman waslike saying till next week.
I don't know what things likemodern dentistry, keeping people
alive until they're a hundredyears old, it's a.
It's a frightening commitmentto make.

Speaker 7 (29:46):
You have given this one a lot of thought.

Speaker 2 (29:48):
I just broke up with my girlfriend.
Actually, she she broke up withme because I couldn't stay
faithful.
Yes, it's been on my mind.
I'm stressed out and I justwant to play.
Spin the bottle.

Speaker 7 (30:03):
Well, it might not be too suspenseful with just the
two of us, but you know we could.
We could ask the chauffeur.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Do you like me at all ?
What do you think I'm cute ornice or funny or I don't know
interesting or anything remotelyattractive?
Or was I just somethingspontaneous?

Speaker 7 (30:26):
I like you.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I'm just.
I'm just trying to be truthful,you know I'm.
I was wondering and you see, Ikind of like you too, I think.
But the but the main, the, themain reason I wanted you to come
I actually really like you cometo think of it and the main

(30:57):
reason I wanted you to come wasabsolute fear and terror.

Speaker 7 (31:06):
You keep saying things like that, you keep
getting tense and afraid, andthen we make some jokes and then
you get tense and afraid again.
Is this, is it just the goinghome?
Is it going home with me?
What is?

Speaker 2 (31:24):
it.
All the things I did back backback when I was crazy before,
before I cut my hair, all of thethings that I did I did with
Clyde.
I did everything with Clyde andhe's getting married and he's
expecting me to come and be hisbest man.
He's expecting to meet thiswonderful young woman I've been

(31:46):
telling him about for years andshe broke up with me this
morning.

Speaker 7 (31:50):
Oh, this morning.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
This morning.

Speaker 7 (31:52):
I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 (31:54):
It's because I didn't tell you.
I didn't tell you, I meanfunctionally.
I guess the relationship hasbeen over for a while, but
officially, 1045 this morning,pacific time.

Speaker 7 (32:06):
Are you all right?
Do I seem like I'm all right?
No, actually I'm sort of allright.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
But the prospect of facing my past alone would have
made me not all right.
So I asked you to come with me,and here you are and here I am.
I'm not going to be yourhusband.
I'm not going to be yourhusband.
I'm not going to be yourhusband.
I'm not going to be yourhusband.

Speaker 7 (32:34):
And here I am.

Speaker 3 (32:36):
Scene seven Linus' childhood bedroom with a teddy
bear on the bed.
Linus and Betsy walk in.

Speaker 7 (32:44):
Where is everybody?

Speaker 2 (32:46):
Well, my sister's a little party queen and my dad
travels a lot ever since my momdied, I think he's in Japan now
no, is he doing in Japan?
I'm not at liberty to say.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
Linus takes a photograph from the bookshelf
and hands it to Betsy.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
This is my prom picture.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
Linus walks to the closet and takes out a tuxedo.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
This is my tux.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
Linus reaches into the jacket pocket and pulls out
a business card and this isDestiny's card.

Speaker 7 (33:18):
Oh, that's all Just just Destiny.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
It's her name and her phone number 337-8469.
T-e-s-t-i-n-y.

Speaker 7 (33:31):
How convenient.
I told you I wasn't making itup.
Oh, my God, you sure weren't.
Oh, she's very pretty.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
I paid double for this, you stupid.
I figured you know how manyproms does the guy have?
Mm-hmm, um, you can sleep inhere.
I'll sleep in my, in my dad'sroom.
Okay, I'll get some dressesfrom Sally's closet so you can

(34:02):
pick something out for tomorrow.

Speaker 7 (34:04):
Um, can I?
Can I take a t-shirt orsomething to like sleep in?

Speaker 2 (34:09):
What's mine is yours, you may regret that Okay.

Speaker 3 (34:16):
Linus walks out of the room.
Betsy takes a t-shirt and boxher shorts from the closet, goes
into the bathroom and shuts thedoor.
After a few moments, Linuswalks in and hangs five dresses
on some hooks that hang on thewall.
The bathroom door opens andBetsy walks out wearing the
t-shirt and box her shorts.
She just washed her face.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
That shirt Never looked like that when I wore it.

Speaker 7 (34:41):
Wow, a couple of silicone injections.
You'd be a new woman, Linus.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
I brought five for you to look at.

Speaker 7 (34:48):
Ooh, rainbow colors like assorted fruit lifesavers
that's what.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
I was going for.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
Betsy takes letters from a young poet from her purse
.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
You gonna read.

Speaker 7 (35:02):
I always read in bed.
Puts me to sleep.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
I could read it to you if you wanted.

Speaker 7 (35:14):
Sure, that would be nice.

Speaker 3 (35:18):
Betsy flips on the lamp by the bed, turns off the
main room light and gets intobed.
Linus walks over and sits onthe edge of the bed.
Betsy picks up the teddy bear.

Speaker 7 (35:28):
Does this bear have a name?

Speaker 2 (35:31):
He more the bear.
He's great for ventingaggression.

Speaker 3 (35:35):
Linus throws the teddy bear across the room and
hits the wall.
I've missed that bear.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
It's horrible.
It's a stuffed animal.

Speaker 3 (35:44):
Linus opens the book.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
Now let's see here Letters to a young poet.
Letter number three Grow up andstop rhyming.
It doesn't say that I'm readingbetween the lines.
You do your way, I'll do mine.

Speaker 7 (36:07):
Can you just read it?

Speaker 3 (36:12):
Let's see now.
Linus reads Betsy a bit of thethird letter as lights fade.
Scene eight a banquet hallwhere Clyde's wedding is taking
place.
Linus picks up a glass of waterfrom the table.
He taps a spoon against theglass a few times.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
I'm Told, its customary for the best man to
make a toast.
So Clyde was my first friend.
We got baby pictures together.

(36:51):
We grew up together.
I Remember when we were ten,clyde and I, we were bored.
We were bored one day and wedecided to go check out the the
temple of danger at the Met.
So there we are.
I'm about to throw a penny intothe water surrounding the

(37:11):
temple to make my wish.
Clyde hands me a skateboard tohold and says and Says he wants
to wade through the water.
He starts taking off hissneakers and socks and I'm

(37:35):
standing next to him sayingClyde, you're crazy, you're
gonna get in trouble.
I'm, I'm staying right here,right.
But he wouldn't listen.
He said he had a Big wish tomake, too big for just a penny.

(37:59):
He had to really use himself,really use his whole self for
this one.
So, sure enough, when the coastis clear and no guards are in
the room, yeah, clyde walkedthrough the wishing pool and got
out the other side.
Uh-huh, and the next day he henot only Not only got his first

(38:28):
kiss, but he got his second kissas well.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, thereby beating me tofemale lips by approximately two
years.
And now I'm not.
Here we are 13 years later andClyde's getting married.
I'm supposed to make a best mana Toast, because I'm the best

(38:57):
man and all I can say is youmust be crazy.
You may, you may get in trouble.
You may be crazy and at leastfor the moment I'm staying right
where I am.
But you, clyde, you, you knowyou.
You have a beautiful bride,jolie.

(39:20):
May all your wishes come true.
That's it, I'm done.
Everybody can go back to whatthey were doing.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
See, nine Linus and Clyde are sitting at a table
talking passionately to oneanother with the way too old
friends who haven't seen eachother and a way too long can do
after they warm up.
Clyde is a wealthy youngbeatnik with a goatee and a gold
card.
He's wearing tails andsunglasses.

Speaker 8 (40:00):
Racism.
It's big issue.
It's tough to comprehend.
It's lots of different angles.
I mean, it's massive.
See, I take little steps,refuse to do my laundry, eat
Reese's peat and butter cupsinstead, what you see, this is
this is exactly what I'm tellingyou.
You, you overlook this kind ofstuff when you do your laundry.

(40:22):
You're supposed to separate thecolors from the whites, right?
Well, there's no way I'm gonnasupport something like that.
So instead I find comfort in aReese's peanut butter cup.
You get your chocolate in mypeanut butter.
No, no, no.
You got your peanut butter onmy chocolate.
The first.
Granted, it's a ratherfrightening concept, but you

(40:46):
taste it and you realizecombining different elements and
tastes, you know it isn't sucha bad idea.
You just have your maid do yourlaundry.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
You just have your maid do your laundry, that's
beside the point the point is.

Speaker 8 (41:00):
The point is that there are important messages in
unexpected places and it's ourduty to search for them.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
I Do that with good and plenty.
I Always get them as a sort ofmodel for my life, my desire for
a balanced life, a life of goodand plenty.

Speaker 8 (41:19):
Too much candy.
It's just not good for you.
It's in fruit instead.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
Good and plenty moral , yet still an abundance of
riches.

Speaker 8 (41:28):
Riches or women?

Speaker 2 (41:30):
Yes, both either yes.

Speaker 8 (41:34):
I don't know man, I've modeled my life after
Applejack, you know, the kid onthe cereal box, just an
upside-down happy kind of guy.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
But what about the reality before the reality
behind the fantasy?
Applejack falls on his head.
If people need fantasy, I don'tknow.
I don't know.
You buy a piece of bazookachewing gum.
You read the comic.
There's bazooka Joe with hispatch on his eye.
Nobody ever says hey, bazookaJoe, remember that one time the

(42:03):
Spike went through your eye andyou bled profusely?
Wasn't that funny?
I?

Speaker 3 (42:08):
Need a drink.
Well, I'd finish this the drinkon the table in front of him.
I.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
Need another drink you're drinking a lot.

Speaker 8 (42:16):
You want a drink?
I.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
Don't drink anymore, Clyde.

Speaker 8 (42:21):
Oh, right, right, I'm sorry, I knew that.
I'm sorry, I just I'm, I'm usedto you, just I know.
Well, I do want another drink.
Come get one with me.
You can get a, surely temple orsomething.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
You are the groom.

Speaker 3 (42:39):
Linus and Clyde get up.
Clyde spots two half finisheddrinks and stops.

Speaker 8 (42:45):
Now is the glass half full or half empty?
See, here's the trick.
You find one each.
You mix them together.

Speaker 3 (42:53):
Clyde pours the drink in one of the glasses into the
other glass and stirs it withhis finger.

Speaker 8 (42:59):
Good stiff drink.

Speaker 3 (43:01):
Clyde drinks his concoction and walks off.
Linus follows him.
Scene 10 the men's bathroom.
Linus and Clyde walk in.
Clyde is drinking a vodkacranberry.
Linus is drinking a surelytemple.

Speaker 8 (43:14):
I like her.
Linus Is I really do.
I Mean, I think she's a goodperson.
We laugh.
I think she's smart.
I Like the way she looks whenshe wakes up.
We have really good sex.
You know, we laugh sometimesand sometimes we don't laugh and
I don't know.

(43:35):
Man, I guess you know, I guessI, I guess I love her.
Valentine's Day doesn't bug meanymore.
You know what I'm saying.
Plus, it's a great reason tothrow a party and wake up into
adulthood really fast.
Right, it's just like.
It's like a microwave coming ofage, but I really do love her.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
I really do love catfish, but I don't want to eat
it three meals a day for therest of my life.
I'm a Gemini, I can't choosejust one thing, and I shouldn't
have to Four basic food groups.
So why just one woman?
Tell me that.

Speaker 8 (44:22):
Because women aren't food.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
We evidently don't know the same people.
I walk around campus at school,you know, and it's really hot,
the temperature is high, thegirls don't wear a lot and they
look delicious.
You talk to them at a party ora class or a cafeteria and you
know they just they sound tasty.

Speaker 8 (44:51):
They sound tasty.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
It's like a buffet of women.
There's just so many of them.

Speaker 8 (45:02):
There are a lot of extraordinary women in this
world, I know.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
I had this twisted dream the other night.
Three menage trois, a menagetrois of menage trois, a
triangle right, two women oneach point, me smack dab in the
middle.
Diana Ross and Farrah Fawcettwere over there.
Audrey Hepburn and Vivian Leewere over here.
Marsha Brady and Rosalyn Carterwere over there.
Wait did you just say RosalynCarter?

(45:32):
Hotest first lady untilMichelle Obama?

Speaker 4 (45:37):
Yes, six older women and me.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
It was, it just was.
I love older women, except howdo you pick them up, right?
What do you say?
Remember Watergate?
I don't.

Speaker 3 (45:52):
Clyde finishes the drink he was holding and pulls a
pack of rolling papers and asmall bag of marijuana from one
of his pockets.
He starts rolling a joint.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
You know, from an evolutionary standpoint it makes
more sense.
It makes sense for men to fuckaround.

Speaker 8 (46:09):
Biologically.
I mean Wait, where the fuck didthat come from?

Speaker 2 (46:15):
It's just stuff that's been on my mind.

Speaker 8 (46:19):
Just because something's been on your mind
doesn't mean you can use Darwinto justify your sex life.
All right.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
I'm serious.
Minogamy just makes more sensefor women.
For women, the focus is quality, for men, quantity.

Speaker 8 (46:34):
I can't believe you are really using Darwin to
justify your sex life.
Linus, linus, I'm shocked, I'mserious.
I'm aware of that.
Listen, you can justify yourpoint of view and I can justify
mine.
I've got somebody who I know,somebody who I really care about

(46:57):
.
I know stories about ourchildhood.
Why would I want to go throughall the getting to know somebody
, stuff again?

Speaker 2 (47:05):
Because that's the best part, that can be the best
part.
I just I love the mystery, theexcitement of getting to know
somebody new, exploring theirbody for the first time, getting
used to the way their skintastes, not knowing who they are

(47:26):
, just knowing you want to betogether.

Speaker 8 (47:30):
Sounds very less tango in Paris, if you ask me.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Exactly.
Yes, I love that movie.
No names Everything outsidethis room is bullshit.
Yes, exactly, that is what Ilove.
That's what I love.

Speaker 8 (47:43):
May I remind you what happens at the end of last
tango in Paris, linus?
Well, after the sodomy with thebutter, the lady kills the guy,
he gets killed at the end.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
Clyde turns and speaks directly to the audience.

Speaker 8 (48:00):
By the way sorry if I spoiled it for you there is a
scene with sodomy and butter,and you should have seen it by
now.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
Scene 11, the banquet hall.
Betsy is sitting alone at atable.
Peter, an attractive guy thesame age as Linus and Clyde,
sits down next to her.
People are starting to talk.

Speaker 7 (48:27):
What about?

Speaker 3 (48:28):
You sitting here all alone.
They say you're in love withyourself.
Say it ain't so.

Speaker 7 (48:37):
Well, if you don't love yourself, how can you begin
to love anybody or anythingelse?

Speaker 3 (48:43):
Touche, I don't think I've ever seen you before.

Speaker 7 (48:48):
I know I've never seen you before.

Speaker 3 (48:50):
Are you a friend of the bride?

Speaker 7 (48:52):
No, no, I'm a friend of the groom.

Speaker 3 (48:55):
I'm a friend of the groom, but you're not with me
Makes me think you must be witha different friend of the groom.

Speaker 7 (49:03):
Sherlock Holmes move out of the way.

Speaker 3 (49:06):
Who's your friend?

Speaker 7 (49:07):
Linus Worth.
Oh God.

Speaker 3 (49:12):
You must be Robin.
All of us heard about you forso long.
You know, I grew up with Linus.

Speaker 7 (49:20):
Excuse me, my name is Betsy.
I'm not Robin.
I'm Betsy.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
Oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 7 (49:26):
Nice to meet you.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
My name's Peter.

Speaker 7 (49:30):
Nice to meet you, Peter.

Speaker 3 (49:31):
Nice to meet you.
Betsy, I just thought you knowthat Linus will be coming with
Robin.

Speaker 7 (49:38):
Oh, they broke up yesterday.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
Oh, that's too bad.
Well, good old Linus, sort of aSuperman that way, faster than
a speeding bullet, gets rightback on the proverbial horse and
all.

Speaker 7 (49:52):
I don't mean to burst your bubble or whatever, but
Linus and I haven't even so muchas kissed one another.

Speaker 3 (50:00):
Oh, I see Just friends.

Speaker 7 (50:03):
We just met, actually yesterday.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
We didn't, he didn't, he didn't buy any chance hire
you.

Speaker 7 (50:15):
Are you asking if I'm a whore?

Speaker 3 (50:17):
I just it's just that at our prom.

Speaker 7 (50:21):
No, it's okay, I'm not.
I'm not a professional.
I go to school with Linus.
We hang out with differentpeople, but I saw this film we
made.

Speaker 3 (50:28):
How are his films?
All of us back here are alwaystrying to make him send
something along a videotape orsomething, but what's his stuff
like?
What's it about?

Speaker 7 (50:41):
Well, the one I saw.
They were showing a bunch ofstudent films and Linus showed
his this short film called FirstKiss.
It starts off one afternoon,late late in the afternoon, on
this empty beach, and this boydrives up in a big truck with a
friend.
Okay, and they start takingthings from the back of the
truck an enormous brass bed andbeautiful bedding.

(51:02):
And then there are.
They use these two poles withsome canvas stretch between them
.
They secure the poles in thewater, so there's a small movie
screen a little ways off off theshore and it keeps getting a
little darker bit by bit.
Okay, then the friend gets intothe truck and drives off While
the boy put some film into theprojector and make sure nobody
comes along to ruin anything andadjust everything, just so.

(51:24):
And then finally the truckcomes back and the door opens
and out walks this girl who seesthe boy and the bed and the
moon and the makeshift movietheater, and she smiles.
So they, they get on the bedand the movie starts.

(51:49):
It's Willy Wonka and they kissfor the first time and they just
keep kissing as if none of itwas planned.
All of it just happened.
This, this one moment, thatjust just was.

Speaker 3 (52:17):
It reminds me of this film I saw when I was in Paris
in my junior year, scene 12.
The men's bathroom.
Linus and Clyde are standing infront of the bathroom mirror.

Speaker 2 (52:32):
Clyde is smoking a joint and she asked me if I had
been unfaithful, and he told herthe truth.
I'm so confused.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
You want to hit.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
No, I just want to be not confused.

Speaker 8 (52:53):
You sure you don't want to hit?

Speaker 2 (52:57):
Why do you so smoke that stuff?
You know, I want to hear.
I want to hear what you have tosay.

Speaker 8 (53:09):
I mean Sherlock Holmes said to escape on we, I
say to alleviate boredom, Sameidea.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
Clyde, if you have to alleviate boredom at your own
wedding, you might be in someserious trouble.

Speaker 8 (53:26):
It calms me down, all right.
I mean, who knows if this iseven real?
Any of this is real, I don'tknow.
Maybe we're not in control ofour own lives anyway.
Maybe we're elaborate puppets.
Maybe maybe this mirror is acamera.
Maybe maybe there's an audienceof people and it's some kind of

(53:47):
crazy psychedelic zoom meetingbeing broadcast on something
like YouTube that we haven'teven heard of yet.
Maybe there's just thisaudience of beings out there
watching us, just watching whatwe do.
So what if I get married ordon't get married, you know, in
the long run, we're born, wefuck and we die, you're baked,

(54:17):
I'm married and I'm drunk and Iwant to go on my honeymoon and
bone down.
That's it.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
We've been away from your party for so long.
Your wife has probably run offwith the DJ.

Speaker 8 (54:37):
Hug me why.

Speaker 3 (54:41):
Because I love you.
You fuck.
Now come here, hug me Linus,hugs Clyde.

Speaker 8 (54:48):
I love you man.

Speaker 3 (54:52):
Same here.
Buddy Clyde breaks from the hug.

Speaker 8 (54:58):
All right, I got a honeymoon to get on with.

Speaker 3 (55:02):
Clyde stubs out the joint on one of the sinks.
He takes out some vising inbinocca and puts some vising in
his eyes and sprays the binoccain his mouth.

Speaker 8 (55:12):
Over and.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
Oh, um out.

Speaker 3 (55:20):
They exit the bathroom, scene 13, the banquet
hall.
Betsy and Peter are sitting ata table.
Linus walks over.

Speaker 2 (55:33):
Hey Peter.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
Hey, Linus Betsy here was just telling me about the
stuff you're doing out on theWest Coast.
Sounds great.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
Actually, no, it doesn't sound great because all
I've made are silent films sofar.
But when I make one that doessound great, you'll be the first
to know.

Speaker 3 (55:54):
Same old Linus, always kidding.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
Yeah, you obnoxious, boring piece of shit.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
Excuse me.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
Oh you know, same old Linus, always kidding.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
Right, well, betsy, it's been a pleasure.
Excuse me, peter walks away.
Linus sits in his chair, ahem.

Speaker 7 (56:27):
Linus, that wasn't very nice.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
There's a lot to unpack there.
He's been a prick since we wereseven.

Speaker 7 (56:44):
Well, at least he's consistent.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
Did he have anything interesting to say?

Speaker 7 (56:50):
Well, he talked to me , which is more than I can say
for you.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
I'm talking to you now.

Speaker 7 (56:59):
Where have you been the past 45 minutes?

Speaker 2 (57:01):
I was with Clyde, we were talking.

Speaker 7 (57:04):
I was about to call the police and report you as
kidnapped.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
What if I said I was sorry?

Speaker 7 (57:13):
Well, it depends on if it's an apology or a
description Both Well, I'd saythat actions speak louder than
words.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
You shouldn't have to say actions, speak louder than
words.
You should act.
You should speak louder thanwords.
Okay, alright, what if I showyou the best time of your life
tonight?
Spontaneity at its finest.

(57:50):
You will paint the town red.

Speaker 7 (57:55):
I'd say red is my favorite color.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
Linus pulls the cherry out of his Shirley Temple
and hands it to Betsy.

Speaker 7 (58:02):
Here, oh, thank you.

Speaker 3 (58:05):
Betsy eats the cherry holding the stem.

Speaker 7 (58:09):
You're wondering if I can knot this stem with my
tongue, aren't you?

Speaker 2 (58:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (58:16):
Keep wondering.

Speaker 3 (58:18):
Betsy toss the cherry stem away.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
What'd you and Peter talk about?

Speaker 7 (58:22):
Oh, and we just kissed a lot.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
Oh, really.

Speaker 7 (58:29):
No, no, we talked about you mostly.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
What did he say?

Speaker 7 (58:37):
I said more than he did.
I told him about first kiss.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
My film first kiss.
Yeah, you saw that yeah.

Speaker 7 (58:49):
Last year.

Speaker 2 (58:51):
What'd you think?

Speaker 7 (58:53):
I don't think I'd be here with you if I hated it.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
So things are not as spontaneous as they seem.

Speaker 7 (59:09):
Maybe not Maybe so.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
I have a confession to make.
I sort of knew you too.

Speaker 7 (59:18):
How.
I saw you at a party once, Iremember it very well.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
I looked across the room and I spotted some pearls
which you don't see every daythese days.
So I looked up to see who waswearing them.
And there you are and you weretalking to somebody just smiling
and laughing, and I forgotabout the pearls.

Speaker 3 (59:48):
I was just like.
I'm going to take a picture ofyou.
I'm going to take a picture ofyou, let's go.
Linus takes Betsy by the handand starts to walk out.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Betsy doesn't quite know what to make of Linus's
abruptness.
What's the rush?

Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
I don't like goodbyes , and also I don't want to miss
the temple of Dendur.
What they walk out, no, beforethe temple of Dendur, it was to
be called the person fuel tankof god or the spirit that made
themισomple, but is profound andbeautiful in its own eye.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
They temper disciples in Japan and owned a sister
crowd and stroked the hands ofcoconuts in国 no-transcript weeks
later.

Speaker 3 (01:00:35):
Then they headed to Gegie's frogs堅城, which they said
was safe in எh생玉冔道.
Parent can tie up this 还是 takeour license and paint together
in אנ.

Speaker 7 (01:00:49):
All those different wishes in there.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
I love wishes.
The only reason I own a digitalclock is when it's 11-11, you
get to make a wish.
You do that Ever since I was akid Same with me the only two
things you can trust in thisworld 11-11 and the wishing pool

(01:01:16):
at the temple of Jendur.
Nothing else works.

Speaker 7 (01:01:20):
What makes you so short?

Speaker 2 (01:01:21):
God told me.

Speaker 7 (01:01:23):
Oh, oh, oh.
God tells you things, does he?

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
We were getting drunk once at a bar and he confided
in me oh God, drinks he used to.
Oh, he's an AA now, or is itAAA?

Speaker 7 (01:01:37):
Oh, that's actually cars Right.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
Yeah, he doesn't kiss his Jeep brakes, but AA really
keeps him alive.

Speaker 7 (01:01:46):
My name's God.
I'm an alcoholic.

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:01:53):
So all that God is dead, stuff was wrong.
That's good, that is good toknow.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
He was so upset by the whole thing.
He wasn't dead, he was just ahangover.
He just needed a nap.
You're not tired, are you?

Speaker 4 (01:02:03):
No wide awake.

Speaker 7 (01:02:12):
I slept like a baby last night.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
We have a whole, a full night ahead of us.

Speaker 7 (01:02:17):
Oh, what's it full of .

Speaker 2 (01:02:19):
Spontaneity.
That's all I claim to know.

Speaker 7 (01:02:23):
There's no plan, just go along for the ride.

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
Yep, okay.
Well, we didn't miss the templeof Jendur.
I had to see it for old time'ssake.
I've seen it, you've seen it.
Well, let's go Okay.

Speaker 7 (01:02:34):
Are we going to be leaving every place in a hurry?

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
this evening Is that there's no plan.

Speaker 7 (01:02:39):
That's not true.
Spontaneity is a plan.

Speaker 2 (01:02:42):
Well, aren't we in college?

Speaker 7 (01:02:44):
Well, what's that supposed to mean?

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
I'll analyze sentences back in California.
There's no time for that sortof thing right now.
Okay, we've got a town to paint.

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
Blindness starts to walk out.
Betsy glances at the pennies inthe water.

Speaker 7 (01:02:58):
I wonder if my wish will come true.
What?

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
do you wish for?

Speaker 7 (01:03:01):
I don't even try it.

Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
They walk out Scene 15.
Linus and Betsy are standing onthe Empire State Building's
observation deck looking outover Manhattan and beyond
through the clear night air, atthe lights and the birds flying
around.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
Last time I was here, I got a nose bleed.

Speaker 7 (01:03:28):
Ugh, no wonder.

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
I was doing a lot of things.
I was doing a lot of cocainewith Clyde.
The view looks so differentwhen you're paranoid.

Speaker 7 (01:03:42):
You can see everything.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Give me something to throw at the birds.

Speaker 7 (01:03:51):
If you dropped a penny from up here and hit
somebody on the head, you thinkyou would really drill a hole
and kill them.

Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
The bad news is, yes, it would kill them.
The good news is, it'd be anepic wish.

Speaker 7 (01:04:06):
No, no, no.
I thought 1111 and the Templeof Dender were the only surefire
wishes.

Speaker 2 (01:04:10):
Yes, but it also works when you kill somebody
with a penny.

Speaker 5 (01:04:14):
Cool, Cool cool, cool .

Speaker 7 (01:04:17):
You and your wishes.
You made one too, yes, but Ididn't make a speech about God
being an alcoholic.

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
He's an alcoholic, he's a workaholic and I mean it
took him six days to create thefucking earth.

Speaker 7 (01:04:37):
Okay, he made some mistakes he was drunk.

Speaker 2 (01:04:39):
Oh my God, you are you are here.

Speaker 7 (01:04:43):
we are on the top of the Empire State Building on a
Saturday night and you'rewearing a tuxedo, trying to tell
me that God is an alcoholic.
I think I find that funny.

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
Could you come here.
A second Come here.

Speaker 3 (01:05:34):
Betsy moves closer to Linus.

Speaker 2 (01:05:38):
Closer.

Speaker 3 (01:05:40):
Betsy moves closer.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
Closer.

Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
Betsy moves closer.
She's very close to Linus now.

Speaker 2 (01:05:52):
Would you ask me to come closer to you and then kiss
?

Speaker 7 (01:05:58):
Closer.

Speaker 3 (01:06:00):
Linus moves closer to Betsy and she kisses him A
tender first kiss.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
Thank you.
I hate making the first move,but I'm also impatient, so I
Betsy kisses Linus for a longwhile.
No matter how many times I dothat, I always feel like I'm 12.

(01:06:32):
Let's kiss for hours.
Let's kiss until our lips hurt.

Speaker 3 (01:06:42):
They kiss for as long as it takes to make an average
theater audience slightlyuncomfortable.
In 2016, Linus and Betsy aresitting at a table inside a
24-hour greasy spoon diner,glowing in their formal wear,
looking totally out of place,yet also looking exactly right.

Speaker 2 (01:07:02):
Do you like kissing me?

Speaker 7 (01:07:04):
What kind of a question is that?

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
I just wanted to make sure it was okay.

Speaker 7 (01:07:10):
How do you think it was?

Speaker 2 (01:07:11):
I thought it was great.

Speaker 7 (01:07:13):
So what's the problem ?

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
I just want to know if you think I was great.

Speaker 7 (01:07:16):
What do you think?

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
I think I was exceptional.

Speaker 7 (01:07:20):
All men think they're exceptional kissers, you know,
I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:07:23):
But very few have a trophy to prove it.

Speaker 7 (01:07:26):
You don't have a kissing trophy Sure I do I do?

Speaker 2 (01:07:30):
It's a little one, it's not much.
If you've got a trophy thenwhat do you need me for?
You're prettier than my trophy.
You kiss better too.
Your skin smells sweeter.
Your hair wraps around myfingers.
I mean, my trophy doesn't evenhave hair.

Speaker 7 (01:07:50):
Well, I mean, you could buy a trophy wig.

Speaker 3 (01:07:53):
A waitress comes over , Pat and pencil in hand.

Speaker 4 (01:07:57):
Hi, welcome to Lennings.
What can I get for you tonight,please?

Speaker 2 (01:08:02):
Ready to order.

Speaker 7 (01:08:03):
Yes, I will have, please, a grilled cheese with
tomato and a fruit salad.

Speaker 4 (01:08:10):
What kind of cheese?

Speaker 7 (01:08:13):
Cheddar.

Speaker 4 (01:08:15):
What kind of bread?

Speaker 7 (01:08:16):
A whole wheat, please .

Speaker 4 (01:08:19):
Anything to drink with that?

Speaker 7 (01:08:21):
New Coke, please.

Speaker 4 (01:08:23):
Excuse me.

Speaker 7 (01:08:25):
New Coke.

Speaker 4 (01:08:26):
We only have Coke.

Speaker 7 (01:08:28):
Oh, which kind Coke.
You don't know if it's classicor new.

Speaker 4 (01:08:35):
Just Coke Okay.

Speaker 7 (01:08:39):
I'll have a lemonade, thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
Okay, and you Seven up.

Speaker 4 (01:08:47):
Sure Sprite okay.

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
Yeah, sprite's okay, okay, but I'd like a seven up.

Speaker 4 (01:08:57):
We don't have seven up Is the sprite that we have
okay.

Speaker 2 (01:09:04):
Does it have a taste of lime in Look?

Speaker 4 (01:09:07):
it's Sprite, it's just Sprite.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
Awesome, just Sprite, then Thank you.
And cheeseburger, medium rarewith feta cheese.

Speaker 7 (01:09:23):
Oh, blindness, what Do you know how bad that is for
you?

Speaker 2 (01:09:28):
It tastes good.

Speaker 7 (01:09:29):
Okay, but sure it tastes good.
But are you aware what you'reputting in your body?

Speaker 2 (01:09:33):
You washed down a volume with booze, thousands of
feet in the air, and you'retelling me what I should and
shouldn't put in my body.

Speaker 7 (01:09:40):
The heart attack unit .
My father's hospital has neverhad a vegetarian come through
its doors.

Speaker 2 (01:09:49):
When I get back to California I'll hire a
vegetarian to come through hisdoors.
But right now I'll have a fetacheeseburger.

Speaker 7 (01:09:56):
No, I won't kiss you.

Speaker 2 (01:10:01):
I'll have a grilled cheese on white bread with feta
and tomatoes, a fruit salad anda Sprite.
How does that sound.

Speaker 4 (01:10:11):
Are you finished?

Speaker 1 (01:10:13):
I think so.

Speaker 4 (01:10:15):
In that case, it sounds great.

Speaker 3 (01:10:17):
The waiter takes the menus and walks away.

Speaker 7 (01:10:21):
Here pressure, she hates us but you know what your
heart attack will.
Thank me.

Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
Taste Spudzel.
Hold a grudge forever.

Speaker 3 (01:10:31):
Betsy leans over and kisses Linus.

Speaker 2 (01:10:36):
My taste buds will like you to know that they
officially forgive you.
You taste sweet.

Speaker 7 (01:10:47):
Oh, dessert from the wedding, it was creme brulee.
You were talking it quiet.

Speaker 2 (01:10:53):
I'm glad you came out this weekend.

Speaker 7 (01:10:56):
You're a pretty great kisser.
I just thought I should justtell you.

Speaker 2 (01:11:05):
Thanks to Detango.

Speaker 7 (01:11:07):
What does Detango have to do with kissing?

Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
I don't know.
All I know is I got my wish.

Speaker 3 (01:11:18):
Scene 17.
Betsy is sitting on Linus' bed.
Linus is searching through abox of tapes.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
What was I thinking listening to this stuff?
I hate every tape I ever boughtChicago 16, Chicago 17, Chicago
18.

Speaker 7 (01:11:37):
Just put on the radio .

Speaker 3 (01:11:39):
Linus flips on the radio in search of a station.
A song like Don't Cry Out Loudis playing.
Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
Suppress your emotions, that's a good message.

Speaker 3 (01:11:56):
Linus turns the dial.
Take good care of yourself asplaying something overly
possessive.

Speaker 2 (01:12:05):
A cheery song about slavery.
It is not about slavery itmight have more been the theme
song to Roots.

Speaker 3 (01:12:14):
Linus turns the dial.
A Gregorian chant is playing.
Linus sits on the bed.

Speaker 7 (01:12:21):
Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa .
What are you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:12:25):
I'm about to kiss you .

Speaker 7 (01:12:27):
You're not going to leave that out, are you?

Speaker 2 (01:12:29):
You don't find Gregorian chants romantic.

Speaker 4 (01:12:32):
Hmm, hmm, hmm.

Speaker 3 (01:12:34):
Linus turns the dial, a song about always loving
somebody and everlasting love.
Love forever is playing, hmm.

Speaker 2 (01:12:43):
This.
This should be illegal.
There should be a law againstthese kinds of songs.

Speaker 7 (01:12:52):
I like this song no come on.

Speaker 2 (01:12:56):
You can't tell me you really fall for this.
There should be somebody whotracks down songwriters who
write songs about everlastinglove forever and they're not
still in love with the person.
If the songwriter is not stillin love with the person who
inspired the song ten yearslater, they should have to give
back their royalties.

Speaker 7 (01:13:17):
Okay, they're singing about what they feel.

Speaker 2 (01:13:20):
Most of them are lying.

Speaker 7 (01:13:23):
The songs might not be factual, but they're
emotionally true.
They're capturing the feelingof being in love.

Speaker 2 (01:13:33):
So they should sing.
I think I'll always love you.
I hope I always do.

Speaker 3 (01:13:40):
I know the statistics indicate otherwise, but Linus
turns, the dial Song likeWonderful Tonight is playing.

Speaker 2 (01:13:49):
Now this this is the song.
You see, he's being positivebut he's being realistic.
You know, tomorrow, who knows?
But tonight, tonight, you look.

Speaker 7 (01:14:07):
If you keep talking, it will soon be tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (01:14:13):
Linus takes Betsy in his arms and kisses her with
great passion.

Speaker 2 (01:14:27):
Do you remember when Classic Rock was just rock?
Yeah, yeah, I do.

Speaker 3 (01:14:43):
Betsy kisses Linus.

Speaker 7 (01:14:45):
I loved having you read to me last night.

Speaker 2 (01:14:50):
I have a few talents Kissing, directing films,
reading to girls named Betsy atbedtime.

Speaker 7 (01:15:00):
My father reads to my mother to help her go to sleep,
and she told me that's why shefell in love with him.

Speaker 2 (01:15:10):
Are your folks still together?

Speaker 1 (01:15:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:15:16):
Are they happy?

Speaker 7 (01:15:19):
Yeah, yeah, they are, I think.
I think they're probably thehappiest married couple I've
ever seen.

Speaker 2 (01:15:30):
Why?
I mean, what do you think theydo?

Speaker 7 (01:15:39):
They're kind to each other, they're polite with each
other.
They still like each other.
You know it's pretty weirdactually.

Speaker 2 (01:15:55):
Does your father still read to your mother?

Speaker 7 (01:15:59):
Every night she falls asleep with her head on his
chest.

Speaker 1 (01:16:20):
What's wrong?
Nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:16:26):
I just can't sleep.
Why not?
I'm not really I don't fallasleep when I'm in bed with
somebody else.
It's difficult, I need.

Speaker 7 (01:16:39):
I love Lucy Bets, so you do want me to go to sleep in
the living room, or something.

Speaker 2 (01:16:45):
No, no, no, no.
I want to sleep.
I want, I don't.
I don't know what I want, Ijust know.
It's just that I know Robinused to fall asleep exactly like

(01:17:08):
you Head in the same place,same exact thing.
I'm sorry, it's not your fault,it's just I shouldn't I woke
you up.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 7 (01:17:22):
No, no, it's okay, it's okay, I'm up now.
What's actually wrong?

Speaker 2 (01:17:26):
It's just that when Robin and I first fell in love,
you know what?
It was a big deal.
I mean, she was really it, myfirst love.
Big stuff, earth-shaking stuff.
I could never fall asleep withher in my bed.

(01:17:49):
So, you know, I just lay awakeall night staring at this
beautiful creature in my arms,wondering what I did to deserve
such luck.
I would always be a zombie thenext day.
I had to take naps all the time.

(01:18:12):
I felt like I was five yearsold again.

Speaker 1 (01:18:14):
But it didn't matter.

Speaker 2 (01:18:16):
It was worth it just to watch my princess fall in
love, to watch her sleep everynight.
And then one day it wasn'tworth it.

(01:18:36):
I'd leave at night, go back tomy dorm room, get a full night's
sleep, the romance, the thrill,the excitement.
It had dulled a little and allthat was left were these two
people me over here sleeping inone bed, her over there sleeping

(01:18:57):
in another.
And for the first time there'sjust this space in between
separating us.
No matter how hard I tried, shewas just too far away.

Speaker 7 (01:19:11):
You really miss her.

Speaker 2 (01:19:14):
Yeah, yeah, she was my first love.
You know, like I said, yeah, Imiss her God.

Speaker 7 (01:19:27):
What.

Speaker 2 (01:19:32):
You know, I kiss Robin, I sleep with Robin.
I grow distant from Robin.
I kiss somebody else, I sleepwith them.
I never want to see them again.
And then here I am, kissing you, sleeping with you, sleeping
near you, got it?
Yeah, and you know, is it justgoing to follow the same pattern

(01:19:55):
?
Am I just some romantic flyingDutchman?
How do I know?
You don't?

Speaker 7 (01:20:05):
You don't know.
You shouldn't know anythingYou're not supposed to.
You know, love isn't facts, itisn't knowledge.
You know, if it was, it wouldbe known and people would say
well, you know, I've fallen inknowledge, right, I mean, and it
would be boring and we'd allfind something else to do.

Speaker 2 (01:20:30):
Do you think it's easier for fortune tellers to
fall in love since they knowit's going to happen?

Speaker 7 (01:20:36):
I don't believe in fortune tellers.

Speaker 2 (01:20:39):
I wish I did.

Speaker 7 (01:20:40):
Oh, you um, you can't wish.

Speaker 3 (01:20:43):
Why not it's?

Speaker 7 (01:20:43):
not 11-11.

Speaker 3 (01:20:45):
Betsy points to the alarm clock Don't do it.
Scene 19.
Airplane Linus and Betsy aresitting next to one another.

Speaker 2 (01:20:58):
Now hold on a second.
Let me get this straight Loveisn't knowledge, but it's an
airplane.

Speaker 7 (01:21:04):
Sort of.

Speaker 2 (01:21:06):
First, pat Benatar says it's a battlefield.
Now you say it's an airplane,love's an airplane.

Speaker 7 (01:21:13):
All I'm saying is it might be Okay, listen, you made
a decision by getting on thisplane, right, you wanted to get
someplace and you might have hadmore freedom, in a way, you
know, if you had stayed on theground, but you might not end up
getting where you wanted to go.

Speaker 2 (01:21:30):
What if I wanted to get on the plane but decided
halfway through the trip that Iwanted to be on the ground?

Speaker 7 (01:21:36):
Well, you know, there are parachutes, risky
parachutes.
But if you didn't want to getoff, if you were enjoying the
ride, you could just stay on andmaybe you could become the
pilot.

Speaker 2 (01:21:49):
And you could become a stewardess.

Speaker 7 (01:21:51):
Or I could become a pilot and you could become a
steward.

Speaker 2 (01:21:56):
No, I'd want to be a stewardess because I want to
wear that skirt.

Speaker 7 (01:22:05):
You should say I'm joking sometimes, Like after
that one.
You could have said I'm jokingafter that one.

Speaker 1 (01:22:13):
So, let me go straight.

Speaker 2 (01:22:15):
Bear with me for a moment.
The plane ride that's likemarriage, or at least some sort
of commitment.
The ground no.
Plane ride that's like littlejourneys, total freedom, not a
lot of distance covered.
Pilots stand for a lifetimemonogamy.
Did I get all that right?

Speaker 7 (01:22:38):
Yeah, you are very clever.
Sorry, you got a little babysilver star there you go Baby
gold star.
Well, that's, I'm sorry, pal,you got a gold star.
When you get the moral behindthe symbols, it'll work a little
harder.
You know what am I saying?
Big picture time, come on.

Speaker 2 (01:22:56):
Something about airplanes.

Speaker 7 (01:22:58):
Make a choice, just make a choice.
Okay, who knows which, whocares?
Catch a later flight, get offthe airplane at the airport, go
straight back to where you camefrom.
But you got to know what youwant, you know.
Don't act like you're flyingwhen you're really walking, or
walking when you're reallyflying, or walking and flying at

(01:23:19):
the same time.

Speaker 2 (01:23:22):
But I'm a Gemini.

Speaker 7 (01:23:23):
Well, I'm a Pisces Linus, that doesn't mean I'm a
fish Geez.

Speaker 2 (01:23:29):
Did you take some sort of course in all this?

Speaker 7 (01:23:32):
No, no, I just think about it Like all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:23:41):
I didn't realize how important airplanes were in your
life.

Speaker 7 (01:23:44):
No, not just airplanes.
You can turn almost anythinginto a metaphor for love.

Speaker 2 (01:23:50):
The airplane.
Food could be a metaphor forlove.

Speaker 7 (01:23:52):
No, no, absolutely not.

Speaker 4 (01:23:54):
If you look towards the screen in the front of your
cabin, we'll now be showing apreview of our in-flight movie
feature.

Speaker 1 (01:24:01):
Gatorade Tarkington from the Fadalis Cowboys is
Romeo, A patriotic cop who'sstarting to lose hope.

Speaker 2 (01:24:13):
This is one of my films.

Speaker 7 (01:24:14):
Actually, I'm very proud of it, you could never,
never make a movie like that.

Speaker 2 (01:24:19):
Why not?
I thought it was my, my choiceto make whatever.
I made it.

Speaker 7 (01:24:23):
No, it's just not.
That is not you.

Speaker 2 (01:24:26):
Well, what's me then?
Well, I only saw first kiss butyou saw one short film and yet
you're already ready to defineme in my work.
I swear everybody's a critic.
Let's hear it.
What's me, what's me?

Speaker 7 (01:24:40):
Well, okay, you seem to be all about going to these
ridiculous lengths tomanufacture romance.
How's that?
I mean, I get it.
There's a man and he wants tosweep this woman off her feet,
but it's almost the wholeprocess that turns him on,
rather than the woman herself.
You know, she could almost bean object, as long as, as long

(01:25:03):
as he could still play the game,complete the chase.
It's romantic, it's reallyromantic, but there's room for
growth.

Speaker 2 (01:25:15):
Right.

Speaker 7 (01:25:19):
What's wrong?

Speaker 2 (01:25:20):
Nothing, nothing.

Speaker 7 (01:25:22):
You sure?

Speaker 2 (01:25:24):
No, yeah, it's just I've been.
I was thinking about this newfilm I've been putting together.

Speaker 7 (01:25:31):
Oh, you didn't.
You didn't tell me you wereworking on a new film.

Speaker 2 (01:25:35):
Yeah, well, that's, I'm a film student, so it's
usually what I'm doing.

Speaker 7 (01:25:45):
What's it about?

Speaker 2 (01:25:48):
It's about this guy.
He's writing a love letter tohis girlfriend on her birthday.
She's 3000 miles away, on theother side of the country.
He decides to write a letter, alove letter, in longhand,
because it's more romantic thanand typing.
Obviously his pencil breaks he.

(01:26:10):
He tries five pencils, they allbreak.
So he writes the letter in hisown.
He writes the letter in his ownblood.
He goes to send it to FederalExpress, but he gets to the
office four minutes late andit's closed.
Of course.
Very suspicious, superstiscious guy, great believer in

(01:26:34):
fate.
He takes the broken pencils andthe closed FedEx office as
signs and he just realizes hehas to see her.
He has to bring her the letterby hand.
So he books a flight but theplane runs out of fuel.
He has to make a splash landing.
Luckily, like he survives.

(01:26:55):
He can't find his wallet.
He tries to call his girlfriendbut her answer in machine picks
up and she's just not answering.

Speaker 7 (01:27:07):
Wow, where?

Speaker 2 (01:27:09):
OK, where is she, she's not there, she's not
picking up.
So he breathes.
It takes a deep breath and hestarts to walk, walks to her
door, sits on her porch waiting.
Finally she arrives home, theyembrace, he gives her the letter

(01:27:33):
and she is Moved.
The guy just wants to put theday's troubles behind him All
the.
He just wants to settle in fora romantic evening with his love
.
They try to put on someromantic music, but her stereo
is broken.
So, even though the stovedoesn't work and they don't have

(01:27:56):
lighters to light any matches,they managed to light a candle
with the help of two twigs and amagnifying glass.
Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 7 (01:28:03):
No, how Hold on?
How is there sunlight duringthe evening?
The sun lamp is involvedsomehow.

Speaker 2 (01:28:09):
Ok, anyway, the girlfriend is like this tan
obsessed daughter of GeorgeHamilton, whatever they have,
yeah.
So the point is forget theproblems, forget the hassles,
because they're these two,they're finally together and
they're in love, and they setthe candles on the bedside table
and they go about their naughtybusiness.
Fortunately, they go abouttheir business with a little too

(01:28:30):
much zest, a little vicar zest,and they knock the bedside
table over, so the candle dropson the floor, they set the rug
on fire and then there's thisneat effect that makes the film
burn up, and after, after that,there's the long, the closing
credits, so it's called BurningDesire.

(01:28:56):
You don't think I'm toopredictable to you?
No, I, I think you're adorable.
But you're totally right aboutmy films, like I said there,
there's room for growth.

Speaker 7 (01:29:18):
But when you're ready to grow, you will.
But I'm only talking about yourstuff, because there's
something really good therealready.
There's room for growth ineverything you know.
It's not a bad thing.

Speaker 2 (01:29:36):
You make me feel better than I did before.
I knew you Same here.

Speaker 7 (01:29:42):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:29:47):
But you know, I felt the same about Robin when I at
first Well, not her, Linus, Nota variation on some theme.

Speaker 7 (01:30:01):
Ok, I am a whole different composer.
Ok, sure there are.
There are going to be things incommon.
Mozart had ears, Bach had ears.
Mozart put notes down on paper.
So did Bach.
But listen to the music, Linus.

(01:30:21):
Listen.
Listen to what each one wrote.

Speaker 2 (01:30:27):
The metaphor thing is it's getting pretty out of hand
.
First planes, now dead guymusic and Is there any?
Is there anything that isn'tlike something else, that's just
Itself?

Speaker 7 (01:30:45):
When do you have to be back at school Tomorrow
afternoon.

Speaker 3 (01:30:55):
Do you feel like taking a drive when we got home,
when You'll see A beautifulexpensive, tastefully decorated
house on the beach in Malibucolony at sunset, betsy walks in
the front door, followed byLinus who shuts the door behind
him.
Whose place is this?
Well, my family's Not bad.
It's my favorite place in theworld.

Speaker 7 (01:31:21):
I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'm not
sure.

Speaker 2 (01:31:24):
Not bad.

Speaker 7 (01:31:25):
It's my favorite place in the world.
Follow me.

Speaker 3 (01:31:29):
Linus follows Betsy as she walks her through the
house.
She reaches some glass doorsand opens them, and we are
outside on the deck.
Nothing comes between Linus andBetsy and the vastness of the
Pacific Ocean but a thin stripof sand.

Speaker 1 (01:31:48):
Wow.

Speaker 7 (01:31:50):
This.
This isn't like anything else,this is just yes.

Speaker 2 (01:32:08):
I'd love to shoot a film here.

Speaker 7 (01:32:10):
Don't film it Just be here, yeah, but I'd still be
great to shoot a film.

Speaker 2 (01:32:24):
It's just, it's Amazing Infinite possibilities.
I'm not sure, I'm not sure, I'mnot sure, I'm not sure, I'm not
sure, I'm not sure.

Speaker 7 (01:32:39):
Infinite possibilities.
Sometimes, when I was younger,I'd be walking around, just
walking around here during theday, and you know, get willing
with my friends, or talking onthe phone or watching TV, and
you know my father would tell methat this place was special,
that I should be careful not towaste my time here.

(01:33:00):
He wanted me to take advantageof it, you know, not to miss out
on it when I was here, when Iwas young, and I think that's
why he got it in the first place.
Actually, what.

Speaker 2 (01:33:20):
I wish I'd known you when you were a little girl.
I wish I'd.
I wish I'd Knew what you werelike.

Speaker 7 (01:33:29):
Well, we have pictures, I will show you.

Speaker 3 (01:33:36):
They both look out at the ocean.
Betsy loves it, of course, butshe's seen it before.
Linus is captivated by it sincehe's visiting it's precious.

Speaker 7 (01:33:51):
I'm going into the bedroom, I'm going to come.

Speaker 3 (01:34:00):
Yes, they kiss.

Speaker 2 (01:34:10):
I'll be there in a second.

Speaker 3 (01:34:15):
Betsy walks inside, Linus stares off at the ocean,
which is filled with so manychoices Perhaps too many for
confused young man who's fullyaware that one day he'll be gone
.

Speaker 7 (01:34:28):
Linus.

Speaker 2 (01:34:32):
I'll be there in a second.

Speaker 7 (01:34:36):
Linus.

Speaker 2 (01:34:42):
I'll be there in a second.

Speaker 7 (01:34:48):
Linus, are you coming in?

Speaker 2 (01:34:57):
I'll be there in a second.

Speaker 7 (01:35:06):
Linus, I'll be there in a second.

Speaker 2 (01:35:20):
Be there in a second.

Speaker 3 (01:35:23):
Linus stays put, not moving, staring out at the ocean
with a blank look on his face,paralyzed.
He's going to play.

Speaker 2 (01:35:49):
I'd like to say thank you He'll probably never hear
it, but to Jonathan Mark Sherman, the playwright of Wonderful
Time, again for that play andthat Wonderful Time had by all
performing, and hopefully youhad a wonderful time listening
as well.
Thanks again to the cast DarrenIngram, todd Stubbler, karen
Bond, sam Miklitch, hunterAckerman, stephanie Renee Wall.
And I want to thank, as I getto do every month, our Patreon

(01:36:11):
curators for keeping the showgoing and growing Angelica
Bolschweiler, anna Ginovola,charity Swanson, emily Thatcher,
gina Dobbs, Jamie Carganilla,josepha Snyder, kelsey Blaine
Gibson, krista King, merrillMilky, rom Farran and Susan Kuhn
.
Thank you all so much foreverything you do, all your
support of this show, and we'llsee you very soon.