July 31, 2024 • 34 mins
Can old friendships survive the test of time and life's toughest challenges? Find out how our childhood in Moreno Valley during the late '80s and early '90s set the stage for a lifetime of resilience. We share hilarious, awkward moments like that unforgettable eighth-grade dance haircut, while also reflecting on how athletics provided stability in our often tumultuous school life. Through humor and candid recollections, we reveal the shaping of our inner strength during those formative years.
Reunited after 22 years, we discover astonishing coincidences and shared experiences that brought us back into each other's lives. From intense high school athletics to the heartbreaking losses of siblings to addiction, our parallel journeys are nothing short of remarkable. A simple Facebook post in 2016 rekindled our bond, leading to deep conversations about a cancer journey and work in cancer diagnostics. Join us as we recount how these serendipitous moments have woven our lives together once more.
In our final chapters, we dive into the emotional depths of family and survival. Planning a wedding to honor a father battling melanoma on 2/22/22, and cherishing memories of summers with a beloved grandmother, we explore the essence of family bonds. We also bring you an incredible story of hope: a loved one defying a grim cancer prognosis through determined, proactive medical intervention. Celebrate with us as we highlight the extraordinary strength and resilience that defines our shared journey. Tune in weekly and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook for more inspiring stories.
Reunited after 22 years, we discover astonishing coincidences and shared experiences that brought us back into each other's lives. From intense high school athletics to the heartbreaking losses of siblings to addiction, our parallel journeys are nothing short of remarkable. A simple Facebook post in 2016 rekindled our bond, leading to deep conversations about a cancer journey and work in cancer diagnostics. Join us as we recount how these serendipitous moments have woven our lives together once more.
In our final chapters, we dive into the emotional depths of family and survival. Planning a wedding to honor a father battling melanoma on 2/22/22, and cherishing memories of summers with a beloved grandmother, we explore the essence of family bonds. We also bring you an incredible story of hope: a loved one defying a grim cancer prognosis through determined, proactive medical intervention. Celebrate with us as we highlight the extraordinary strength and resilience that defines our shared journey. Tune in weekly and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook for more inspiring stories.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I will be your shield in the fiercest battle.
I'll defend you from all thesearrows and the sword.
I will will keep you fromdanger.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Let me be your shield this is crafting survival, a
podcast that is not just aboutcancer.
It's about the challenges inlife.
It's about surviving,overcoming, developing plans,
speaking with survivors, peoplewho have dealt with cancer,
dealt with other challenges,experts in the field of medicine
(00:37):
, science, innovation anyone whohas dealt with life's
challenges.
This podcast for you.
Sit back and enjoy CraftingSurvival.
So we're getting juicy todayand hitting on our personal
story.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Talking about who we are, where we came from.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Well, where we both came from.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
How our stories collided.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Nice and warmed up with our rusted iron coffee for
this topic.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Stacey shout out to you.
Thank you, sir.
Going to have to stock the nextcouple podcasts for that.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, so where do we start 2014?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
That's when we recollided, but we didn't really
until 2016.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, we didn't really get into the details of
that story.
We said we'd get it, so let'sstart in 1988, 89.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
We're 11, 12 years old in the sixth grade.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Vista Heights Middle School.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Marina Valley Wildcats.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Yeah, in Marina Valley we became became
classmates.
Your family moved down from bigbear into merino valley yeah my
family was already there from1981 when it was sunny mead, and
uh yeah, I was four years oldwhen we moved there.
So I started all my schoolingin merino valley.
So you came in.
I, you know, remember sixthgrade.
(02:03):
You would have been, have beenthe new person, the new group
that came from Midland and soVista Heights.
There would have been five orsix elementary schools that
funneled in and so all theMidland kids I knew, a big
population of sixth gradersalready going in.
And then there were otherschools that I had played sports
(02:26):
against the boys can?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I can just say that you know as a girl in middle
school how much it sucks.
Middle school sucks especiallywhen you have no friends.
All new people yeah hormonesraging ugh.
You and your best friend werethe cool guys in school peter
marisco yeah, I had a big crushon him um at the time.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Not anymore, of course, but yeah, so that's
really where our stories uhintertwine even more in eighth
grade with peter, eighth grade,graduation, eighth grade, dance.
Um, you know sixth and seventhgrade we were just classmates.
Classmates we didn't hang out.
We knew similar people.
You know again both athletes.
You were swimming, I was asoccer baseball player, you know
(03:13):
, and ruler of all sports on thePE field.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
You're so conceited.
I still won the President'sAward, so hey.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Which is.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Physical Fitness Award.
You know how many push-ups Icould do more push-ups than the
dudes.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Not now, but yeah, I bet you still could.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Yeah, so Peter's eighth grade.
You're going to go to theschool dance with him.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
After the eighth grade graduation Uh-huh.
And the week of that dance andthe week of that dance, you
showed up to school with allthis pretty hair cut off, butch,
butch style.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Does that still a word?
Short hair is like the in thingnow.
It's not butch anymore, is it?
Speaker 3 (03:56):
No, it wasn't that bad, demi Moore.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yes, I thought Demi Moore and Ghost was pretty.
She was, and my sisterconvinced me that I would look
good with her.
Really, she hated me.
She liked to torture me.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I was laughing Before we started.
We were talking aboutspirituality and whatever, and
my sister, who's no longer withus, bless her heart, rest in
peace and she's the one whoconvinced me that I would be so
cute with this short hair.
My dad was like obsessed withshort hair, so I ended up with
this stupid short haircut beforethe eighth grade dance and it
(04:37):
was like today's viral as viralit could be around the school
that I look like a boy.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Right, it was almost in the newspaper.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yeah, it was bad.
It was bad.
Fortunately, I was an athleteand my saving grace was, I said
forget all these people, I haveskill Right.
So we thought about, likecrafting, survival and being
confident and having skill andbeing an athlete, I think
probably saved me a little bitin that situation because I at
least had something to hang myhat on.
(05:06):
So I was already at eighthgrade.
I was already an Olympichopeful.
So it's like whatever people so.
I toughed through thatsituation.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
An excuse and an outlet.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yeah.
But you came up to me and saidhey, don't worry about it.
One day I told Pete to go todance with you because one day,
when you get into high school,you're going to be hot.
I was like, oh, I'm not now,but one day I will be.
Okay, great, cool.
Thanks for the pep talk man.
But he did go to dance with me.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
And here we are married.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You didn't go to dance with me.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Pete went to the dance with me and here we are
married.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
You didn't go to the dance with me, pete went to the
dance with me.
Yeah, lame dance.
Eighth grade dance Right.
Eighth grade drama.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Right, where you may have had one dance with him.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Probably not Right.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Yeah, it's just at that age it's more of a social
bragging to say that you have adate or you're going with
somebody and the whole timeyou're there you might not even
say hi, not even share a bag.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Hang out with your girlfriends and the guys hang
out in the corner.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
You don't even share a bag of popcorn.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
You always go to popcorn.
Hey, I said hi to her.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Hey guys, I said hi to her.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
So we go on to high school.
Well, after that, that summerwas a little rough for me, so it
didn't really stop there.
I wasn't as strong as I thoughtI was.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
What do you?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
mean what?
Speaker 3 (06:37):
happened.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
That summer.
I I've never said it publiclyyeah, I attempted suicide that
summer.
Pretty deep, yeah, fortunately.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Thanks for sharing.
That's brave.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah.
I had to gather myself afterseeing that one.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
You were kind of the only person that knew, though
Kind of came full circle, henceyour business and your shirt
today, right when we gottogether, that came up.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yeah, so in the six years since you and I have
reconnected and formed a lifetogether, I've known that you
told me, shared with me, right,mm-hmm.
And yeah, each time we get tothe story where that can be
inserted.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
We skip it.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
You Right.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
We.
I'll let you tell the story.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Right, it's not my place, right, I don't think to
put that out there if you'rewilling to share that or not,
but yeah, that's a big part ofthe story, I think.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Which is kind of crazy because I was at the like
top of my game as an athlete.
Right eighth grade I madesenior nationals which is right
before making Olympic trialtimes it's a step below yeah,
it's a step below, like thequalifying it's a time threshold
, um, so it goes in swimming.
(08:05):
People go oh, you went to theJunior Olympics.
It's like no, junior Olympicsis way low.
It goes Junior National, seniorNational, olympic Trials.
So I went to my first JuniorNationals and at my first Junior
Nationals I made SeniorNationals, and then that
following summer, I just missedthe Olympic Trials as well by
(08:26):
two hundredths of a second.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
That was after eighth grade.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, which is crazy to think You're in this like
deep, dark place and then so Ican only hope.
And when we got together it waslike, well, what you did was
probably give me that hope thatI was okay at that age, which is
kind of interesting because ofour reconnection.
(08:49):
So we go on to high school,Right.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Before we get away from that, we've also talked
about the pep talk, right when Igrabbed you and said, hey,
don't worry about what Peterthinks he's lame, You're going
to be hot, all the guys aregoing want you, right, and that
story when all the guys, when werekindled, um, you know, you
told me that story and how ithad stuck with you, and even to
(09:18):
the point where you told me that, uh, you shared that at job
interviews or with colleagues.
Other women, other women, apoint in your life where you run
into some challenging times.
And how did you get through it?
And you did, you fought throughit.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
It was rough, though there were definitely rough
times through that.
My parents then got divorcedwhen we were in high school and
that was pretty ugly, reallyugly, actually not pretty.
It was very ugly and trying tobe an athlete, manage school and
friends and relationships whichwere pretty much non-existent
because of how much I trained.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
You ran with the swim girls.
Other girls had similarschedules.
Those were your best friends.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, so we didn't really hang out though when we
hit high school we didn't, butthere is proof that we
communicated, but we didn't hangout.
We we figured that we satacross from each other in the
same area at school oh, you andI yeah right, right, right.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Yeah, we saw each other passing right.
I have this story in my head.
One day football players werein the swimming pool and there
goes Becky Thompson walkingacross the deck.
And it was like you know,Winnie and.
Fred, yeah, the Wonder Yearsright.
He had the big crush and themusic was playing.
(10:44):
And there goes Becky andStephanie, and it was your third
buddy, sandra.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
So anyway, I divulge the good times high school, but
we never really communicateddon't remember communicating,
and then I moved away after oursophomore year, yep, and we
never spoke, never saw eachother again for 22 years.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Right, yeah, yeah, until 2016,.
The Facebook post reconnectedus 2014,.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I connected with you.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Right, yeah, but 2016,.
Two years later, you respondedMm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Mm-hmm.
So I think we touched upon it alittle bit in the other podcast
, but I don't think we reallygot into it because we said we
would save it Right.
So 2016,.
You see my post.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
So in high school we wrote in each other's yearbooks
on the same page.
Yeah, what did it say?
Oh my gosh, it's so lame.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Mine's like you'll never go for me, Like you'll
ever go for me, Never go for me.
And yours is like hey,beautiful, If you ever need
somebody, look me up.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
K-I-T.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
And you put bootyful, not even beautiful.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
So that tells me I had booty.
Well, should you stand up andshow the audience?
No, well, should you stand upand show the audience?
Yeah, so you take off from highschool, go graduate from
another high school no contact.
The ironic part is we run verysimilar lives from there on out
until we do reconnect.
We went to school in anotherstate on an athletic scholarship
(12:22):
.
I went to school in anotherstate athletic scholarship.
We both moved to another stateand married somebody.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
We came back to California around the same time.
Yep, we were only like 20minutes apart.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Lived.
Yeah, when we moved backAnother very crazy twist my
brother and your sister bothpassed away around the same time
of similar self-determinedcauses Alcohol abuse, drug abuse
.
Addiction Addiction, and bothof our brother and sister have a
son named Zach, who's also thesame age, born in the same year.
(12:57):
So that's a crazy part of thestory.
Then we get divorced around thesame time.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
A couple years before me, Actually, in 2016, when you
responded to my Facebookmessage that I sent you.
I was going through divorce orI had already filed for divorce,
but it was irrelevant.
We didn't.
I didn't share that with you atthe time and it didn't matter
Irrelevant to our conversation.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Our two day dialogue back and forth until I divulged.
I was a cancer survivor andyou're like, oh my God, I'm in
cancer diagnostics and then okay, cool, if anything comes up,
and I was like, well, nothing'scoming up, I have no reason to
talk to her anymore.
Cancer's not coming back.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, well, other than your dad.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
You messaged me one more time about your dad, but at
that point in time I worked fora company called Foundation
Medicine, which was is you know,they still exist, but was the
first um dna genomic sequencingcompany that was clinically
sequencing patients, meaningthat it was no longer in
(14:12):
research.
And so you had asked me do youknow anything about b-ref and
mech and these dna alterationsthat you had that caused your
cancer?
I was like, yep, I kind of knowa lot about that.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Yeah, right.
So at that point I was a littleover a year of NED, no evidence
of disease, and I had told thecancer story a hundred times or
so, a couple hundred times, andall those interactions never did
anybody have any response totalking about alterations to my
(14:44):
DNA or the specific ones at that, or even knowing what that is,
and so it was kind ofenlightening or comforting to
know that somebody else doesknow what I was talking about
Turns out to be you.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Yeah, the guy that was on your pathology report,
your lab report, was actually amedical advisor that I knew,
that I know very well, and hewas one of the ones that helped
bring that discovery and drug tomarket.
So that was kind of crazybecause it was like there was
his name on your report.
(15:23):
I was like, oh yeah, I see thisguy I joke around and say the
only reason you're with me isbecause you know I can maybe
help save your life.
But you're not going to get itagain, right, anyway, yeah.
It was 2016, but then we losecontact again, so we don't
communicate for another twoyears, 2018.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
After I'm divorced.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
I'm on the dating scene.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Yep, you are too.
Yep, you're on the prowl.
Saposexual.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I said what the hell is this Made me look something
up?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
So yeah, what does that mean?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Mentally and physically available.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Now that you're like attracted to.
I don't remember the definitionof saposexual.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
You better have to look it up.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Yeah, go ahead and check it out.
Yeah, I more remember your post.
Is there any such thing as amentally and physically
available man?
I was like what?
Speaker 2 (16:34):
What the hell is she talking about?
Well, because they either likewell, they only want to be
physically available in thedating scene Bumble, good old
Bumble, lots of fun stories withthat but they don't want to put
in any relationship work, eventhough they all boo and say, oh,
I can't find a good person, andit's just kind of annoying, you
(16:55):
know, but it was fun for aminute, but I was done having
fun and like I actually didn'treally even want to date.
I think think by the time wegot together I was like I'm over
this, I don't want to even date, I'm gonna go.
Oh yeah, I didn't go.
Yeah, that's all.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
I was getting to that point too.
I'd been through a couplegirlfriends.
I was like, yeah, what'd I tellyou?
I'm gonna need five or sixdifferent girlfriends, so each
one can check a box.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Yeah, which were what boxes?
Speaker 3 (17:28):
This is a family-friendly podcast, right?
Yes, you know, adventureCrossFit working out taking care
of yourself eating healthy,getting weird camping.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Cooking.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Walking on the beach?
Yeah, cooking walking on thebeach?
Yeah, um, so I reached out andsaid, hey, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
and, uh, you kind of did the same thing you're like
wait, I thought he was withsomebody.
Well, you still had pictures ofyourself with a girl right on
there, a blonde, who I thoughtwas your wife when it wasn't
your wife.
But so we got together and wemet up for coffee.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
I think we were like chatting for like two weeks and
met up for coffee, and that waskind of an interesting
experience.
We met at a coffee shop that'sactually no longer there in
Murrieta not this one no, notthis one that we're drinking and
, uh, you were standing in frontof me.
(18:39):
I remember having a cup ofcoffee, like the lady had handed
me my cup of coffee and youwere fortunately in front of me
because I didn't even havebutterflies, like nothing.
I saw you walk across theparking lot, we met up, I pulled
into my at that time I had thebeautiful Jaguar and you had a
work truck and I was standingbehind you when I got the coffee
(19:06):
and it just my hand juststarted shaking that the coffee
was going to come out of the cupand I was like what the hell?
And I set it back down andthinking that he can't see this,
I'm not nervous, I don't evenhave butterflies.
Why he's going to think I'mnervous and I'm not even nervous
.
What's going on?
So that was pretty trippy.
I had never experienced thatbefore.
The buzz yeah, it was something.
(19:28):
It was energy, definitelystrong energy.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Right, our auras got close.
I just started going.
The vibration.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
But then I think we sat and talked for like two
hours and you didn't even lookat me, Like you stared out the
window.
It was like what the heck?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Window licker.
Yeah well, you remember what Isaid.
You know my reason.
Yeah, no, we have what I said.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
You know my reason yeah, no, we have an audience
that doesn't know, like you said, but I had to go look it up as
soon as I I had to go look it up, like you said, Wait what.
You had to go look upsaposexual and I had to look up
what you came up with.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Oh, what did I come up with?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Capture myopathy.
Ah, right, I was like what theheck is that Right?
What is it when you look ananimal in the eyes?
It can no longer be returned tothe wild.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Chances are it's not going to be because it gets
eaten.
Yeah, that's exactly it Didn'twant to lock eyes because I knew
it would be over.
I had the same buzz, you know,going off.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
My intuition was tingling yeah, so I think we
were like friends for a couplemonths yep and then I got
accepted into MBA school in Utahand I didn't tell you and I was
going to go away, because myplan was I'm going to run this
(20:59):
company, I'm going to go to nbaschool and see my son off to
college, get him out of highschool that's it not dating
anymore.
Hang out with my girlfriends,travel, study, study, build a
business.
And you interrupted the wholething.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Yeah, what happened to MBA school?
What happened to Utah?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I deferred Because somebody's like oh, I want to
have more than a friendship.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
I'll move to Utah.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I'll travel to Utah with you.
We're going to have along-distance relationship.
Heck, no, been there, done thattoo many times, no way.
So I said well, I've workedhard my whole life, committed to
doing hard things and maybe Ican have fun instead and enjoy
(22:02):
this.
So I deferred and stayed withyou, tried to build other
businesses like know,non-profits and stuff that was
uh.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Time just flew right by that day in the coffee shop
catching up, I think that wasprobably part of the tingle not
seeing each other and actually,yeah, getting like actually
talking?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
because I don't think we like.
Obviously, as kids we nevertalked, we we really didn't hang
out.
Apparently, I think, accordingto our yearbooks, we like
talking on the phone but neitherone of us remember talking to
each other on the phone.
So it's a good thing.
I don't think we would have.
I think we would have destroyedeach other as kids.
(22:46):
And we would have had totallyopposite reaction.
We would have been mad at eachother and cheated on each other,
we would have competed.
So, anyway, we got married right?
Oh, that was actually part ofit.
Both of us also said, whenneither one of us were going to
get married again, right?
So why did you think youweren't going to get married
again?
You said that because of yourcancer diagnosis and dealing
(23:08):
with that, that you didn't wantto put somebody through that
again.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Right, yeah, that was a scare.
That was definitely on theforefront of my mind 10 years
ago.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
no, not that long ago yeah um for me, I was not
getting married again because Idon't want to pay alimony and
child support.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
Again, again.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Lose my ass again.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
There's no confidence in your next spouse, then huh.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
No, I wasn't confident in my own decisions.
So we got married.
So we decided to get married222-222.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
He proposed to me on your birthday I did.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Probably because I made you a good steak dinner.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
but you know, yes, made you a good steak dinner,
but you know, yes, you made agreat steak dinner.
Yeah, the numerology, thenumbers, the, yeah, the
significance of my birthday atthat point right, it was my
birthday in 2014.
I went into the ER, then mybirthday in 2015.
2015 I was clean PET scan andthen my birthdays.
(24:15):
From there on out, my brotherand I have made an effort to do
some wild snow adventure get outand get lost in the snow on
snowshoes or split boards orthat's another lesson learned on
my part too our littleadventure out on the snow for
our birthdays.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
We're only 12 days apart too, that's another kind
of crazy interesting connection.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
My dad said you are the missing sister that he gave
away to the gypsies yeah, thefirst time I met him.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty funny, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
And that was a joke that he told for probably the
first time I met him.
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty funny.
And that was a joke that hetold for probably as long as I
can remember.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Keep acting up, we're going to send you off with the
gypsies, with your sweet twinsister.
Yeah, it's kind of weird.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
We say things at like the exact same time.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So the wedding so fast forwardthrough those years?
Speaker 2 (25:15):
yeah, so we don't, we were gonna get engaged but I
don't think we had any intentionof actually getting married.
We were both like, okay, we'reengaged, we're committed, but we
don't really have to getmarried, like we don't need to
go through the process.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
But your dad encouraged it didn't know how
and where and what, but uh, yousat down one day with my dad at
my brother's house and wentthrough the planning, we we
forgot to finish off yourbirthday.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
It was your birthday, you proposed right and the ring
that you gave me is yourgrandma friends yes yeah, why
did you give me grandma friendsring?
Why was that kept in the family?
Because your mom had herjewelry.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
To me.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
I love it, by the way .
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Yeah, it's a beautiful ring and my grandma's
a beautiful grandma, beautifullady, so we're going to get into
some pretty crazy stuff now,right?
The numbers the ring my grandma.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
No, let's save it for another one, okay, because
that's a whole other topic initself right, the numbers, the
the ring my grandma.
Okay, I mean, it's alreadyobvious, we connected, the way
we connected and everything.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
It's pretty intuitive and we're very connected right
spiritually mm-hmm vibrationallyenergy right, um, yeah, my
grandma's ring you are.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Uh, yeah, my grandma speaks through you she's born
january 17th, I'm january 18thand she passed away.
Yeah, and I never got to meether, which is unfortunate, right
, she passed away 2018.
It was right when we firststarted dating Right in the
spring 2018.
It was either that or fall 2017.
(26:59):
Yeah, it was fall, because wewent up to in November is when
we went up, when our trip wasplanned and she had passed away
maybe like a month and a halfbefore.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
I thought it was 2018 , fall yeah, yeah, 2018.
She passed full yeah, yeah,2018.
She passed away.
Yeah, you didn't get to meether.
We had a trip planned to ridethe train, jump on the Amtrak in
Oceanside and take it up to SanLuis, which is right close to
where my grandmother lived.
(27:26):
It's where my mom's from wheremy mom and dad met there in
Napomo, um, it's where my mom'sfrom where my mom and dad met
there in napomo, uh, it's justsouth of san louis, right there
in the five cities, um, theroyal grandee, pismo beach,
grover beach, um, and we weregonna rent a car, or we did rent
a car, but we were gonna drivedown and stay with my grandma
for a night and then head up toMorro Bay, and my grandma passed
(27:52):
away just before our trip, soour plans changed.
You never got to meet her, butwe had a great trip, did all the
things not all the things buttook you to several of the
places that she used to take meand my brother when we were kids
.
And we grew up in SouthernCalifornia, and so we would
spend a couple weeks with mygrandma in the summers, Did golf
(28:16):
lessons.
She took us surfing, took us tothe beach Pismo Beach.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
You have a cool family.
That's what I love about yourfamily.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
You have a cool family yeah, lots of fun.
My grandma was a swimmer, yeah,and so the days that we weren't
doing anything, we were goingto Santa Maria and she would
swim at the college there, johnHancock, and we'd spend the day
(28:44):
jumping off the diving board andgetting more out than the sun
and the chlorine.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
So we decided to get married and we had no date,
nothing planned, and then yourdad became, his melanoma was
coming in full force.
I mean, he survived 17 yearswith melanoma, with tumors in
his brain and his spine alwaysdealing with that.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Some type of radiation, yeah, gamma knife and
all that.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Never really had systemic therapy, but anyway.
So he was getting worse and notdoing well, because it really
was spreading through his brain.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, his spread to the brain a specific part or
structure.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
The connective tissue , yeah, LMM, leptomeningeal.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
So the basket that holds your brain, that basically
the blood brain barrier, is themening, meningeal, meninges,
meninges.
Yeah, so it got into that wovenbasket and it was just so
intricately tied in that and hehad an optic nerve um tumor as
well.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
So uh I love your dad , I love your dad very much.
Um, so he's getting worse.
And one day he was coherent hewasn't coherent actually, uh, he
was just kind of out of it forthe medication he was on and at
your brother's house and uh, Isat down and held his hand and
he perked up and he smiled at meand uh told me I think he told
(30:19):
me I smelled good and uh, he umsaid let's plan this wedding.
Just very clear, very crisp,very lucid, and says let's plan
this wedding.
And then you walked in the roomand I said I guess we're
planning this wedding.
And you said, okay, let's do it.
And he said, how, about 2, 22?
(30:40):
And you're like I said that Itold you that's when we should
get married.
I said, well, I guess that's itright.
So we'll get married on 2, 22,22 mm-.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
At a winery middle of the day.
No one does a day wedding.
Yeah, they said no breakfast,no one has breakfast.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Breakfast Because he said we were going to all bring
our Coleman stoves and that wasthe drugs talking our Coleman
stoves and make hash browns andstuff.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
A pancake cookout.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah, like the fire department.
Yeah, he's a fire fire firechief, um, but he uh said that
that's what we were gonna do,and so that's what we did.
We got married on 2, 22, 22minus the pancake cookout minus
the pancake cookout.
We had a catering, thankfully,but it was a lot of fun.
Brunch wedding on a tuesday,which is people are like why do
(31:29):
you get married on a tuesday?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
mike luna catering.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
I don't remember the name of the business, but yeah,
Mike.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Something street tacos, even though it wasn't
street tacos, you're right.
Street wise, street wise.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
Yeah, that's right.
Good recall Whoop, mm-hmm,whoop.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
Yeah, so, so, anyway, yeah, yeah, so, anyway.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
That's it I mean that's our, our, the wedding, so
my dad didn't make it oh yeahfive days yeah five days prior
217.
Yeah, yep rip maybe that's alsolike you know him making it
that long, though, because hewas given three to six months to
live at his last kind of likeyou know doctor's appointment at
(32:12):
that point in time, and that's,you know, part of the whole
crafting survival, what we talkabout at the nonprofit.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Yeah, you stepped in.
Yeah, you weren't cancer helpdesk then.
No, you were Rebecca, help desk.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Operating on an individual basis.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah.
And so he was told he had threeto six months to live on an
inconclusive imaging radiologyimage and it wasn't good enough
for me.
You don't just decide to tellsomebody they got three to six
months to live without evenknowing exactly what it is and
exactly what all the options are.
So we were able to get him adifferent kind of test that he
(32:52):
wasn't even offered by hisoncologist, unfortunately, don't
know.
We don't blame the oncologist,they just can't keep up with all
the you know stuff all the time.
So we had him tested and we atleast confirmed he had melanoma
and we were able to craft a planfor him.
Of you know, we took him to anexpert neuro-oncologist in Dr
(33:16):
Casery, santosh Casery in LosAngeles, and he has seen plenty
of those cancers and was able togive him their treatment 18
months right.
He was 14 months he survived.
But I mean three, six to 14 isa huge difference, especially
with that disease and the factthat, you know, I truly think he
(33:38):
was hanging on to be a part ofour wedding and see his, you
know, go on vacation.
He was going to go on vacationwith the granddaughters and do
some things that he reallywanted to do.
So it's a big difference forpeople that you know, and, and I
think for all of us, it'sknowing that we did everything
we could.
Right, we had all the options.
(34:00):
So, you know, that's kind oflike our theme of crafting
survival, I mean our story ofsurvival.
There's so much intertwined inall of that.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Right.
But anyway, yeah, here here weare bound together legally now
remember, no matter thechallenge, there are
extraordinary people out there,overcoming the unimaginable.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Their journeys remind us that grit and hope are
powerful join us next time as wecontinue to explore the lives
of those who face life's biggestchallenges head on.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Until then, stay strong, stay hopeful and keep
crafting your own survival.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Tune in weekly and follow us on Instagram TikTok
and Facebook.
This is Crafting Survival.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
We'll keep you from danger.
Let me be your shield.
I will be your shield in the fiercest battle.
I'll defend you from all thesearrows and the sword.
I will will keep you fromdanger.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Let me be your shield this is crafting survival, a
podcast that is not just aboutcancer.
It's about the challenges inlife.
It's about surviving,overcoming, developing plans,
speaking with survivors, peoplewho have dealt with cancer,
dealt with other challenges,experts in the field of medicine
(00:37):
, science, innovation anyone whohas dealt with life's
challenges.
This podcast for you.
Sit back and enjoy CraftingSurvival.
So we're getting juicy todayand hitting on our personal
story.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Talking about who we are, where we came from.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Well, where we both came from.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
How our stories collided.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Nice and warmed up with our rusted iron coffee for
this topic.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Stacey shout out to you.
Thank you, sir.
Going to have to stock the nextcouple podcasts for that.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, so where do we start 2014?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
That's when we recollided, but we didn't really
until 2016.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, we didn't really get into the details of
that story.
We said we'd get it, so let'sstart in 1988, 89.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
We're 11, 12 years old in the sixth grade.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Vista Heights Middle School.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Marina Valley Wildcats.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Yeah, in Marina Valley we became became
classmates.
Your family moved down from bigbear into merino valley yeah my
family was already there from1981 when it was sunny mead, and
uh yeah, I was four years oldwhen we moved there.
So I started all my schoolingin merino valley.
So you came in.
I, you know, remember sixthgrade.
(02:03):
You would have been, have beenthe new person, the new group
that came from Midland and soVista Heights.
There would have been five orsix elementary schools that
funneled in and so all theMidland kids I knew, a big
population of sixth gradersalready going in.
And then there were otherschools that I had played sports
(02:26):
against the boys can?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I can just say that you know as a girl in middle
school how much it sucks.
Middle school sucks especiallywhen you have no friends.
All new people yeah hormonesraging ugh.
You and your best friend werethe cool guys in school peter
marisco yeah, I had a big crushon him um at the time.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Not anymore, of course, but yeah, so that's
really where our stories uhintertwine even more in eighth
grade with peter, eighth grade,graduation, eighth grade, dance.
Um, you know sixth and seventhgrade we were just classmates.
Classmates we didn't hang out.
We knew similar people.
You know again both athletes.
You were swimming, I was asoccer baseball player, you know
(03:13):
, and ruler of all sports on thePE field.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
You're so conceited.
I still won the President'sAward, so hey.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Which is.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Physical Fitness Award.
You know how many push-ups Icould do more push-ups than the
dudes.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Not now, but yeah, I bet you still could.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Yeah, so Peter's eighth grade.
You're going to go to theschool dance with him.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
After the eighth grade graduation Uh-huh.
And the week of that dance andthe week of that dance, you
showed up to school with allthis pretty hair cut off, butch,
butch style.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Does that still a word?
Short hair is like the in thingnow.
It's not butch anymore, is it?
Speaker 3 (03:56):
No, it wasn't that bad, demi Moore.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yes, I thought Demi Moore and Ghost was pretty.
She was, and my sisterconvinced me that I would look
good with her.
Really, she hated me.
She liked to torture me.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I was laughing Before we started.
We were talking aboutspirituality and whatever, and
my sister, who's no longer withus, bless her heart, rest in
peace and she's the one whoconvinced me that I would be so
cute with this short hair.
My dad was like obsessed withshort hair, so I ended up with
this stupid short haircut beforethe eighth grade dance and it
(04:37):
was like today's viral as viralit could be around the school
that I look like a boy.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Right, it was almost in the newspaper.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yeah, it was bad.
It was bad.
Fortunately, I was an athleteand my saving grace was, I said
forget all these people, I haveskill Right.
So we thought about, likecrafting, survival and being
confident and having skill andbeing an athlete, I think
probably saved me a little bitin that situation because I at
least had something to hang myhat on.
(05:06):
So I was already at eighthgrade.
I was already an Olympichopeful.
So it's like whatever people so.
I toughed through thatsituation.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
An excuse and an outlet.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yeah.
But you came up to me and saidhey, don't worry about it.
One day I told Pete to go todance with you because one day,
when you get into high school,you're going to be hot.
I was like, oh, I'm not now,but one day I will be.
Okay, great, cool.
Thanks for the pep talk man.
But he did go to dance with me.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
And here we are married.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You didn't go to dance with me.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Pete went to the dance with me and here we are
married.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
You didn't go to the dance with me, pete went to the
dance with me.
Yeah, lame dance.
Eighth grade dance Right.
Eighth grade drama.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Right, where you may have had one dance with him.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Probably not Right.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Yeah, it's just at that age it's more of a social
bragging to say that you have adate or you're going with
somebody and the whole timeyou're there you might not even
say hi, not even share a bag.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Hang out with your girlfriends and the guys hang
out in the corner.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
You don't even share a bag of popcorn.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
You always go to popcorn.
Hey, I said hi to her.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Hey guys, I said hi to her.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
So we go on to high school.
Well, after that, that summerwas a little rough for me, so it
didn't really stop there.
I wasn't as strong as I thoughtI was.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
What do you?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
mean what?
Speaker 3 (06:37):
happened.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
That summer.
I I've never said it publiclyyeah, I attempted suicide that
summer.
Pretty deep, yeah, fortunately.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Thanks for sharing.
That's brave.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah.
I had to gather myself afterseeing that one.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
You were kind of the only person that knew, though
Kind of came full circle, henceyour business and your shirt
today, right when we gottogether, that came up.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yeah, so in the six years since you and I have
reconnected and formed a lifetogether, I've known that you
told me, shared with me, right,mm-hmm.
And yeah, each time we get tothe story where that can be
inserted.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
We skip it.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
You Right.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
We.
I'll let you tell the story.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Right, it's not my place, right, I don't think to
put that out there if you'rewilling to share that or not,
but yeah, that's a big part ofthe story, I think.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Which is kind of crazy because I was at the like
top of my game as an athlete.
Right eighth grade I madesenior nationals which is right
before making Olympic trialtimes it's a step below yeah,
it's a step below, like thequalifying it's a time threshold
, um, so it goes in swimming.
(08:05):
People go oh, you went to theJunior Olympics.
It's like no, junior Olympicsis way low.
It goes Junior National, seniorNational, olympic Trials.
So I went to my first JuniorNationals and at my first Junior
Nationals I made SeniorNationals, and then that
following summer, I just missedthe Olympic Trials as well by
(08:26):
two hundredths of a second.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
That was after eighth grade.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, which is crazy to think You're in this like
deep, dark place and then so Ican only hope.
And when we got together it waslike, well, what you did was
probably give me that hope thatI was okay at that age, which is
kind of interesting because ofour reconnection.
(08:49):
So we go on to high school,Right.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Before we get away from that, we've also talked
about the pep talk, right when Igrabbed you and said, hey,
don't worry about what Peterthinks he's lame, You're going
to be hot, all the guys aregoing want you, right, and that
story when all the guys, when werekindled, um, you know, you
told me that story and how ithad stuck with you, and even to
(09:18):
the point where you told me that, uh, you shared that at job
interviews or with colleagues.
Other women, other women, apoint in your life where you run
into some challenging times.
And how did you get through it?
And you did, you fought throughit.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
It was rough, though there were definitely rough
times through that.
My parents then got divorcedwhen we were in high school and
that was pretty ugly, reallyugly, actually not pretty.
It was very ugly and trying tobe an athlete, manage school and
friends and relationships whichwere pretty much non-existent
because of how much I trained.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
You ran with the swim girls.
Other girls had similarschedules.
Those were your best friends.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, so we didn't really hang out though when we
hit high school we didn't, butthere is proof that we
communicated, but we didn't hangout.
We we figured that we satacross from each other in the
same area at school oh, you andI yeah right, right, right.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Yeah, we saw each other passing right.
I have this story in my head.
One day football players werein the swimming pool and there
goes Becky Thompson walkingacross the deck.
And it was like you know,Winnie and.
Fred, yeah, the Wonder Yearsright.
He had the big crush and themusic was playing.
(10:44):
And there goes Becky andStephanie, and it was your third
buddy, sandra.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
So anyway, I divulge the good times high school, but
we never really communicateddon't remember communicating,
and then I moved away after oursophomore year, yep, and we
never spoke, never saw eachother again for 22 years.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Right, yeah, yeah, until 2016,.
The Facebook post reconnectedus 2014,.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I connected with you.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Right, yeah, but 2016,.
Two years later, you respondedMm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Mm-hmm.
So I think we touched upon it alittle bit in the other podcast
, but I don't think we reallygot into it because we said we
would save it Right.
So 2016,.
You see my post.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
So in high school we wrote in each other's yearbooks
on the same page.
Yeah, what did it say?
Oh my gosh, it's so lame.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Mine's like you'll never go for me, Like you'll
ever go for me, Never go for me.
And yours is like hey,beautiful, If you ever need
somebody, look me up.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
K-I-T.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
And you put bootyful, not even beautiful.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
So that tells me I had booty.
Well, should you stand up andshow the audience?
No, well, should you stand upand show the audience?
Yeah, so you take off from highschool, go graduate from
another high school no contact.
The ironic part is we run verysimilar lives from there on out
until we do reconnect.
We went to school in anotherstate on an athletic scholarship
(12:22):
.
I went to school in anotherstate athletic scholarship.
We both moved to another stateand married somebody.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
We came back to California around the same time.
Yep, we were only like 20minutes apart.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Lived.
Yeah, when we moved backAnother very crazy twist my
brother and your sister bothpassed away around the same time
of similar self-determinedcauses Alcohol abuse, drug abuse
.
Addiction Addiction, and bothof our brother and sister have a
son named Zach, who's also thesame age, born in the same year.
(12:57):
So that's a crazy part of thestory.
Then we get divorced around thesame time.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
A couple years before me, Actually, in 2016, when you
responded to my Facebookmessage that I sent you.
I was going through divorce orI had already filed for divorce,
but it was irrelevant.
We didn't.
I didn't share that with you atthe time and it didn't matter
Irrelevant to our conversation.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Our two day dialogue back and forth until I divulged.
I was a cancer survivor andyou're like, oh my God, I'm in
cancer diagnostics and then okay, cool, if anything comes up,
and I was like, well, nothing'scoming up, I have no reason to
talk to her anymore.
Cancer's not coming back.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, well, other than your dad.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
You messaged me one more time about your dad, but at
that point in time I worked fora company called Foundation
Medicine, which was is you know,they still exist, but was the
first um dna genomic sequencingcompany that was clinically
sequencing patients, meaningthat it was no longer in
(14:12):
research.
And so you had asked me do youknow anything about b-ref and
mech and these dna alterationsthat you had that caused your
cancer?
I was like, yep, I kind of knowa lot about that.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Yeah, right.
So at that point I was a littleover a year of NED, no evidence
of disease, and I had told thecancer story a hundred times or
so, a couple hundred times, andall those interactions never did
anybody have any response totalking about alterations to my
(14:44):
DNA or the specific ones at that, or even knowing what that is,
and so it was kind ofenlightening or comforting to
know that somebody else doesknow what I was talking about
Turns out to be you.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Yeah, the guy that was on your pathology report,
your lab report, was actually amedical advisor that I knew,
that I know very well, and hewas one of the ones that helped
bring that discovery and drug tomarket.
So that was kind of crazybecause it was like there was
his name on your report.
(15:23):
I was like, oh yeah, I see thisguy I joke around and say the
only reason you're with me isbecause you know I can maybe
help save your life.
But you're not going to get itagain, right, anyway, yeah.
It was 2016, but then we losecontact again, so we don't
communicate for another twoyears, 2018.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
After I'm divorced.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
I'm on the dating scene.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Yep, you are too.
Yep, you're on the prowl.
Saposexual.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
I said what the hell is this Made me look something
up?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
So yeah, what does that mean?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Mentally and physically available.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Now that you're like attracted to.
I don't remember the definitionof saposexual.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
You better have to look it up.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Yeah, go ahead and check it out.
Yeah, I more remember your post.
Is there any such thing as amentally and physically
available man?
I was like what?
Speaker 2 (16:34):
What the hell is she talking about?
Well, because they either likewell, they only want to be
physically available in thedating scene Bumble, good old
Bumble, lots of fun stories withthat but they don't want to put
in any relationship work, eventhough they all boo and say, oh,
I can't find a good person, andit's just kind of annoying, you
(16:55):
know, but it was fun for aminute, but I was done having
fun and like I actually didn'treally even want to date.
I think think by the time wegot together I was like I'm over
this, I don't want to even date, I'm gonna go.
Oh yeah, I didn't go.
Yeah, that's all.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
I was getting to that point too.
I'd been through a couplegirlfriends.
I was like, yeah, what'd I tellyou?
I'm gonna need five or sixdifferent girlfriends, so each
one can check a box.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Yeah, which were what boxes?
Speaker 3 (17:28):
This is a family-friendly podcast, right?
Yes, you know, adventureCrossFit working out taking care
of yourself eating healthy,getting weird camping.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Cooking.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Walking on the beach?
Yeah, cooking walking on thebeach?
Yeah, um, so I reached out andsaid, hey, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
and, uh, you kind of did the same thing you're like
wait, I thought he was withsomebody.
Well, you still had pictures ofyourself with a girl right on
there, a blonde, who I thoughtwas your wife when it wasn't
your wife.
But so we got together and wemet up for coffee.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
I think we were like chatting for like two weeks and
met up for coffee, and that waskind of an interesting
experience.
We met at a coffee shop that'sactually no longer there in
Murrieta not this one no, notthis one that we're drinking and
, uh, you were standing in frontof me.
(18:39):
I remember having a cup ofcoffee, like the lady had handed
me my cup of coffee and youwere fortunately in front of me
because I didn't even havebutterflies, like nothing.
I saw you walk across theparking lot, we met up, I pulled
into my at that time I had thebeautiful Jaguar and you had a
work truck and I was standingbehind you when I got the coffee
(19:06):
and it just my hand juststarted shaking that the coffee
was going to come out of the cupand I was like what the hell?
And I set it back down andthinking that he can't see this,
I'm not nervous, I don't evenhave butterflies.
Why he's going to think I'mnervous and I'm not even nervous
.
What's going on?
So that was pretty trippy.
I had never experienced thatbefore.
The buzz yeah, it was something.
(19:28):
It was energy, definitelystrong energy.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Right, our auras got close.
I just started going.
The vibration.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
But then I think we sat and talked for like two
hours and you didn't even lookat me, Like you stared out the
window.
It was like what the heck?
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Window licker.
Yeah well, you remember what Isaid.
You know my reason.
Yeah, no, we have what I said.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
You know my reason yeah, no, we have an audience
that doesn't know, like you said, but I had to go look it up as
soon as I I had to go look it up, like you said, Wait what.
You had to go look upsaposexual and I had to look up
what you came up with.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Oh, what did I come up with?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Capture myopathy.
Ah, right, I was like what theheck is that Right?
What is it when you look ananimal in the eyes?
It can no longer be returned tothe wild.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Chances are it's not going to be because it gets
eaten.
Yeah, that's exactly it Didn'twant to lock eyes because I knew
it would be over.
I had the same buzz, you know,going off.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
My intuition was tingling yeah, so I think we
were like friends for a couplemonths yep and then I got
accepted into MBA school in Utahand I didn't tell you and I was
going to go away, because myplan was I'm going to run this
(20:59):
company, I'm going to go to nbaschool and see my son off to
college, get him out of highschool that's it not dating
anymore.
Hang out with my girlfriends,travel, study, study, build a
business.
And you interrupted the wholething.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Yeah, what happened to MBA school?
What happened to Utah?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I deferred Because somebody's like oh, I want to
have more than a friendship.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
I'll move to Utah.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
I'll travel to Utah with you.
We're going to have along-distance relationship.
Heck, no, been there, done thattoo many times, no way.
So I said well, I've workedhard my whole life, committed to
doing hard things and maybe Ican have fun instead and enjoy
(22:02):
this.
So I deferred and stayed withyou, tried to build other
businesses like know,non-profits and stuff that was
uh.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Time just flew right by that day in the coffee shop
catching up, I think that wasprobably part of the tingle not
seeing each other and actually,yeah, getting like actually
talking?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
because I don't think we like.
Obviously, as kids we nevertalked, we we really didn't hang
out.
Apparently, I think, accordingto our yearbooks, we like
talking on the phone but neitherone of us remember talking to
each other on the phone.
So it's a good thing.
I don't think we would have.
I think we would have destroyedeach other as kids.
(22:46):
And we would have had totallyopposite reaction.
We would have been mad at eachother and cheated on each other,
we would have competed.
So, anyway, we got married right?
Oh, that was actually part ofit.
Both of us also said, whenneither one of us were going to
get married again, right?
So why did you think youweren't going to get married
again?
You said that because of yourcancer diagnosis and dealing
(23:08):
with that, that you didn't wantto put somebody through that
again.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Right, yeah, that was a scare.
That was definitely on theforefront of my mind 10 years
ago.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
no, not that long ago yeah um for me, I was not
getting married again because Idon't want to pay alimony and
child support.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
Again, again.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Lose my ass again.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
There's no confidence in your next spouse, then huh.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
No, I wasn't confident in my own decisions.
So we got married.
So we decided to get married222-222.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
He proposed to me on your birthday I did.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Probably because I made you a good steak dinner.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
but you know, yes, made you a good steak dinner,
but you know, yes, you made agreat steak dinner.
Yeah, the numerology, thenumbers, the, yeah, the
significance of my birthday atthat point right, it was my
birthday in 2014.
I went into the ER, then mybirthday in 2015.
2015 I was clean PET scan andthen my birthdays.
(24:15):
From there on out, my brotherand I have made an effort to do
some wild snow adventure get outand get lost in the snow on
snowshoes or split boards orthat's another lesson learned on
my part too our littleadventure out on the snow for
our birthdays.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
We're only 12 days apart too, that's another kind
of crazy interesting connection.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
My dad said you are the missing sister that he gave
away to the gypsies yeah, thefirst time I met him.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty funny, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
And that was a joke that he told for probably the
first time I met him.
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty funny.
And that was a joke that hetold for probably as long as I
can remember.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Keep acting up, we're going to send you off with the
gypsies, with your sweet twinsister.
Yeah, it's kind of weird.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
We say things at like the exact same time.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So the wedding so fast forwardthrough those years?
Speaker 2 (25:15):
yeah, so we don't, we were gonna get engaged but I
don't think we had any intentionof actually getting married.
We were both like, okay, we'reengaged, we're committed, but we
don't really have to getmarried, like we don't need to
go through the process.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
But your dad encouraged it didn't know how
and where and what, but uh, yousat down one day with my dad at
my brother's house and wentthrough the planning, we we
forgot to finish off yourbirthday.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
It was your birthday, you proposed right and the ring
that you gave me is yourgrandma friends yes yeah, why
did you give me grandma friendsring?
Why was that kept in the family?
Because your mom had herjewelry.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
To me.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
I love it, by the way .
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Yeah, it's a beautiful ring and my grandma's
a beautiful grandma, beautifullady, so we're going to get into
some pretty crazy stuff now,right?
The numbers the ring my grandma.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
No, let's save it for another one, okay, because
that's a whole other topic initself right, the numbers, the
the ring my grandma.
Okay, I mean, it's alreadyobvious, we connected, the way
we connected and everything.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
It's pretty intuitive and we're very connected right
spiritually mm-hmm vibrationallyenergy right, um, yeah, my
grandma's ring you are.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Uh, yeah, my grandma speaks through you she's born
january 17th, I'm january 18thand she passed away.
Yeah, and I never got to meether, which is unfortunate, right
, she passed away 2018.
It was right when we firststarted dating Right in the
spring 2018.
It was either that or fall 2017.
(26:59):
Yeah, it was fall, because wewent up to in November is when
we went up, when our trip wasplanned and she had passed away
maybe like a month and a halfbefore.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
I thought it was 2018 , fall yeah, yeah, 2018.
She passed full yeah, yeah,2018.
She passed away.
Yeah, you didn't get to meether.
We had a trip planned to ridethe train, jump on the Amtrak in
Oceanside and take it up to SanLuis, which is right close to
where my grandmother lived.
(27:26):
It's where my mom's from wheremy mom and dad met there in
Napomo, um, it's where my mom'sfrom where my mom and dad met
there in napomo, uh, it's justsouth of san louis, right there
in the five cities, um, theroyal grandee, pismo beach,
grover beach, um, and we weregonna rent a car, or we did rent
a car, but we were gonna drivedown and stay with my grandma
for a night and then head up toMorro Bay, and my grandma passed
(27:52):
away just before our trip, soour plans changed.
You never got to meet her, butwe had a great trip, did all the
things not all the things buttook you to several of the
places that she used to take meand my brother when we were kids
.
And we grew up in SouthernCalifornia, and so we would
spend a couple weeks with mygrandma in the summers, Did golf
(28:16):
lessons.
She took us surfing, took us tothe beach Pismo Beach.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
You have a cool family.
That's what I love about yourfamily.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
You have a cool family yeah, lots of fun.
My grandma was a swimmer, yeah,and so the days that we weren't
doing anything, we were goingto Santa Maria and she would
swim at the college there, johnHancock, and we'd spend the day
(28:44):
jumping off the diving board andgetting more out than the sun
and the chlorine.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
So we decided to get married and we had no date,
nothing planned, and then yourdad became, his melanoma was
coming in full force.
I mean, he survived 17 yearswith melanoma, with tumors in
his brain and his spine alwaysdealing with that.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Some type of radiation, yeah, gamma knife and
all that.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Never really had systemic therapy, but anyway.
So he was getting worse and notdoing well, because it really
was spreading through his brain.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, his spread to the brain a specific part or
structure.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
The connective tissue , yeah, LMM, leptomeningeal.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
So the basket that holds your brain, that basically
the blood brain barrier, is themening, meningeal, meninges,
meninges.
Yeah, so it got into that wovenbasket and it was just so
intricately tied in that and hehad an optic nerve um tumor as
well.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
So uh I love your dad , I love your dad very much.
Um, so he's getting worse.
And one day he was coherent hewasn't coherent actually, uh, he
was just kind of out of it forthe medication he was on and at
your brother's house and uh, Isat down and held his hand and
he perked up and he smiled at meand uh told me I think he told
(30:19):
me I smelled good and uh, he umsaid let's plan this wedding.
Just very clear, very crisp,very lucid, and says let's plan
this wedding.
And then you walked in the roomand I said I guess we're
planning this wedding.
And you said, okay, let's do it.
And he said, how, about 2, 22?
(30:40):
And you're like I said that Itold you that's when we should
get married.
I said, well, I guess that's itright.
So we'll get married on 2, 22,22 mm-.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
At a winery middle of the day.
No one does a day wedding.
Yeah, they said no breakfast,no one has breakfast.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Breakfast Because he said we were going to all bring
our Coleman stoves and that wasthe drugs talking our Coleman
stoves and make hash browns andstuff.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
A pancake cookout.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah, like the fire department.
Yeah, he's a fire fire firechief, um, but he uh said that
that's what we were gonna do,and so that's what we did.
We got married on 2, 22, 22minus the pancake cookout minus
the pancake cookout.
We had a catering, thankfully,but it was a lot of fun.
Brunch wedding on a tuesday,which is people are like why do
(31:29):
you get married on a tuesday?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
mike luna catering.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
I don't remember the name of the business, but yeah,
Mike.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Something street tacos, even though it wasn't
street tacos, you're right.
Street wise, street wise.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
Yeah, that's right.
Good recall Whoop, mm-hmm,whoop.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
Yeah, so, so, anyway, yeah, yeah, so, anyway.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
That's it I mean that's our, our, the wedding, so
my dad didn't make it oh yeahfive days yeah five days prior
217.
Yeah, yep rip maybe that's alsolike you know him making it
that long, though, because hewas given three to six months to
live at his last kind of likeyou know doctor's appointment at
(32:12):
that point in time, and that's,you know, part of the whole
crafting survival, what we talkabout at the nonprofit.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Yeah, you stepped in.
Yeah, you weren't cancer helpdesk then.
No, you were Rebecca, help desk.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Operating on an individual basis.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah.
And so he was told he had threeto six months to live on an
inconclusive imaging radiologyimage and it wasn't good enough
for me.
You don't just decide to tellsomebody they got three to six
months to live without evenknowing exactly what it is and
exactly what all the options are.
So we were able to get him adifferent kind of test that he
(32:52):
wasn't even offered by hisoncologist, unfortunately, don't
know.
We don't blame the oncologist,they just can't keep up with all
the you know stuff all the time.
So we had him tested and we atleast confirmed he had melanoma
and we were able to craft a planfor him.
Of you know, we took him to anexpert neuro-oncologist in Dr
(33:16):
Casery, santosh Casery in LosAngeles, and he has seen plenty
of those cancers and was able togive him their treatment 18
months right.
He was 14 months he survived.
But I mean three, six to 14 isa huge difference, especially
with that disease and the factthat, you know, I truly think he
(33:38):
was hanging on to be a part ofour wedding and see his, you
know, go on vacation.
He was going to go on vacationwith the granddaughters and do
some things that he reallywanted to do.
So it's a big difference forpeople that you know, and, and I
think for all of us, it'sknowing that we did everything
we could.
Right, we had all the options.
(34:00):
So, you know, that's kind oflike our theme of crafting
survival, I mean our story ofsurvival.
There's so much intertwined inall of that.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Right.
But anyway, yeah, here here weare bound together legally now
remember, no matter thechallenge, there are
extraordinary people out there,overcoming the unimaginable.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Their journeys remind us that grit and hope are
powerful join us next time as wecontinue to explore the lives
of those who face life's biggestchallenges head on.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Until then, stay strong, stay hopeful and keep
crafting your own survival.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Tune in weekly and follow us on Instagram TikTok
and Facebook.
This is Crafting Survival.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
We'll keep you from danger.
Let me be your shield.
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