Crap Movie Club
We review crap movies in a laid-back and slap-dash fashion. If you have low standards for both films and podcasts, then this is the show for you.
Episodes
Bet you didn't see this coming. After almost 2 years we return and the term 'rusty' comes to mind. Once you get past the awkward chat about Tim's vacuum cleaner, we spend over an hour reviewing Pierce Brosnan's career defining performance as a a scientist who tries to turn chimps into soldiers.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
- Discord - https://discord.gg/t...
Out of the blue we 're back for a brief dance with death as we review Cocaine Bear (2023). This episode features constant mentions of hard drugs - so if you can't bear that, then viewer discretion is advised.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
Three things should stay extinct; Dinosaurs, Movie Franchises and Podcasts. Somehow we're back and reviewing this 2022 cash-grab. The movie execs were so preoccupied with the fact they could, they didn't stop to ask if they should...or something.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
The podcast that refuses to die releases a much anticipated review of Uncharted. Listen as we find anyway to reference and talk about films we actually like, such as Money Plane, National Treasure and Sonic.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
Scream / Scream 5 / 5cream came out earlier in the year and we took a trip to the cinema to see it in 4DX. Granted this happened in January and I'm posting this in April so we can only apologise to the die hard CMC fans who have waited for a new episode with baited breath. All signs point to the show being as dead as Dewey Riley, but really it will linger on like the ghost of Billy Loomis.
The CMC is in session as we review a classic meme of a movie that stars Gary Oldman in 'the role of a lifetime'. Unfortunately nobody told Gary that the role of a lifetime will involve stuffing his lower body into a sofa and attaching two stuffed trouser legs to make him look like a dwarf.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
"When we first started the show, this is the kind of thing we had in mind, so it's been a long time coming". Birdemic (2010) is a D.I.Y horror movie by visionary director James Nguyen. Featuring ear-splitting sound effects, eye watering special effects and head scratching dialogue. This is one not to be missed.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
After a long and unprofessional hiatus, we're back with a look at 2008's Jumper. Some say this is Doug Leman's best work, but Mr & Mrs Smith would like a word with you.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
Enjoy listening to our review of this cheesy superhero flick from 1996. Superheroes have come a long way since Billy Zane's portrayal of 'The Phantom'. For one, they no longer use questionable catchphrases like "nobody refuses The Phantom". It's probably for the best.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
We deliver on our commitments and complete our review of Netflix's Fear Street trilogy. Find out if the premonitions which Jordan channelled from the spirit realm come true and listen as Tim single-handily unravels the film makers attempt to make the geography of Sunnyville/Shadyside make sense.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
We review Fear Street Part 2. It's time for a trip down memory lane for Deena and the gang as they relive the camp nightwing massacre as told by the sole survivor - Gillian Jacobs.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
After a solid month off, we return with a run through of recent Netflix Horror adaption; Fear Street part 1. Includes a new segment "what crappens next?" which sees Jordan channel the supernatural and make a series of premonitions on what he thinks will happen in part 2.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
The number 13 is unlucky for some, including for you if you lack the fine taste to listen to our review of this 2001 Horror flop.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
We review Phantoms: a very average 1998 Science Fiction / Horror starring a baby faced Ben Affleck, Rose McGowan and Peter O'Toole. Any Jordan fans may be disappointed as this is the first ever episode without him - but Tom fans will feel relieved to know their favourite history boi is present.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
It's a full on Cage Rage - as we review this 2020 straight to streaming sci-fi mash up. A team of Ju Jitsu masters fight an alien invader but not even Nic Cage can save this movie from the trash heap.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
We review Twilight with Lauren. It would be too easy to crack loads of vampire jokes in this episode description. I don't want to be a pain in the neck so we will just say that this movie sucks.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
A film where you get to see Sean Connery have a fight with the Invisible Man. Tim insists that the word "Extraordinary" is pronounced differently to the phrase "Extra Ordinary" but a poll of our 3 listeners was inconclusive.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
Imagine a film about a futuristic sport that involves motorbikes, roller skates and LL Cool J. You just imagined the bad version of Rollerball.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
We scrape the bottom of the barrel and review Piranha 3DD. The "DD" is a breast joke and that's about as good as the humour gets in this sloppy as crap creature feature.
- https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/
- Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth
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