Viral Coach Moments, Dating Contrasts, and Our Stories

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_08 (00:00):
And they they got after one of his players, a
young kid who does everythingright.
He makes a point.
He's like, he's done everythingright.
And you're gonna bring this upand bring this garbage.
This is garbage.

SPEAKER_05 (00:16):
Welcome to the Created to Be podcast.
We're back again.
I am Bethany Pigat, your host,alongside Justin.
Yo, Darius Doc Brown.
Yes, ma'am.
And Granny Morgan.
Hey.
We're so excited to be back.
Of course, it's been a greattime over the past few weeks.
We're gonna have a better timetoday because the topic is just

(00:37):
getting more spicy.
Even better time.
Even better time.
It's gonna be pretty spicytoday, I think.
Um that's what I like to say,anyways.
But we had a great week lastweek in FCA.
We split up into girls and guysgroups and just got to talk
about relationships.
And as I've learned post-Huddle,I think that it's just kick the
bee's nest.

SPEAKER_08 (00:56):
Yes, that's it.
We we kick the bees.

SPEAKER_05 (00:58):
I don't think which is so good.
Like it's been really cool tohave several follow-up
conversations already.
So we are we are in the thick ofit.
Um, but it's good.
And the conversations just beinghad, I mean, in the cafeteria,
in passing, whatever.
It's it's made it easy to justgenerate a conversation and just
listen and ask questions.

(01:18):
I'm learning a lot, uh, which isgood, I think.
Uh but what are they lots?
What are we learning?
What are we learning?
Um, but I know that I wasencouraged, Justin.
Y'all were we didn't do this inour session, but in y'all's
y'all did like a list of whatthe guys are looking for.

SPEAKER_08 (01:35):
Yeah.
Yeah.
We just started it off and and Ijust said, Hey, so what are you
looking for in a in a spousehere?
And so you had a wide variety ofanswers of things.
Um we got down to some somepretty core things on this list,
and I just kind of turned tothem.
I said, Okay, that's an awesomelist.
Um, is this you?

SPEAKER_03 (01:53):
Yeah.
That's good.

SPEAKER_08 (01:55):
And it was quiet for a bit because you know, it's one
of those things we have thesestandards and these expectations
of what we are looking for.
Yet as guys, we can get caughtup in just doing our thing and
not not really actively gothrough a formation process in
ourselves and are we becomingthe things that we are actually
wanting?
Or this person that is on theboard here would be wanting
wanting and looking for.

(02:16):
You know.
And then we could also sit thereand talk about, oh yeah, we got
God fearing on there.
Let's define what what does Godfearing mean and are you
actually that?
You know, and what does thatlook like for you?
So answer.

SPEAKER_05 (02:28):
Yeah, I think is a challenge for no matter what age
or generation or whatever, thatthe can you, you know, notice
your actions versus what you sayyou want.
You know, like I don't thinkthat's specific to any one group
or gender.

SPEAKER_03 (02:45):
I was gonna say, like, that's good for the girls,
also.
You know, it's good for bothsides.

SPEAKER_05 (02:50):
And can you recognize that?
And I think that that's aharder, like we can say these
things and put them on a boardbecause we know ultimately
that's what we've been told orthat's genuinely what we want,
but then recognizing if youractions back that up is a whole
another thing, uh,self-awareness.
So we're gonna get into more ofthat at the end.
That's a little tease to stickin there and listen.
Um, you know, our topics haveconcluded at the huddle, but

(03:13):
that's where this podcast isgreat because we can explore
those things.
So we are gonna do somecontrasts between we're all like
millennials here at this table.
So we wanna understand more howpeople go about dating, well,
attraction, dating, committedrelationships in those stages.
And we have a very differentperspective than what I'm

(03:33):
finding most people do thesedays, uh, which has been, again,
learning curve for me.
Uh, but we're gonna contrastthose and just talk through
those.
Um, I think it's gonna be reallyhelpful for anybody listening,
but also us.
We do have a few FCA updates.
Justin, there was a fundraiserin Columbus that went really
well.

SPEAKER_08 (03:52):
Yeah.
Shout out to the Ford family.
Thanks for hosting that.
It was a great time.
Met some awesome people and umand athletes.
Did a great job.
Yeah.
And we got to share at WestPoint Rotary Club, uh, which was
nice.
Um, thank you, Jack Wells, andall those amazing people there.
And we got another one coming upnext week in in Louisville.

SPEAKER_05 (04:10):
So I think one of the things, one of the
highlights was we can't alwaysget athletes to come to those
things because of schedules.
But the three that did come,what emerged from what they
shared was really how valuablethe community of FCA is for them
here.
So it was just another placewhere you get to hear what is in
them that maybe we might not getjust in passing, or if we don't

(04:32):
get that conversation.
And so that really meant a lotto me to hear them articulate.
It was helpful.
Yeah.
Uh what FCA means to them, whatit's looking like on their team.
So that was really cool.
All right.
So we're gonna go into thestretch right here.
And one of the things that wehave talked about the past few
weeks, me and Justin, kind of onthe side, is how much coaches
are in just the media these dayswith all the coaching changes.

(04:55):
And we don't want to get in theweeds on all of that because
that's not our forte, but we dowant to, we at some point we
wanted to bring up coaches andstretch it out a little bit in
some way.
Um, just that topic about likecoaches being in the limelight
and all the uh where they'regoing and all the turnover.
And so one way we thought wemight could do this is think

(05:16):
about how coaches do, you know,they make these statements or
they have these sound bites.
Darius, you talked about lastweek about how sound sound bites
are going viral.
And so that just made us thinkwhat are the memorable moments
in sports where coaches havesaid things that you can then
take and like say in aconversation and people know
exactly what you mean.

(05:36):
Um, I know when Justin turned 40this year, I had him a shirt,
and I'm gonna spoiler alertbecause one of these is tie into
it.
That's fine.
Yeah, but what's his name?
I can't think of it.
Uh Gundy.
Mike Gundy.

SPEAKER_08 (05:46):
Mike Gundy.

SPEAKER_05 (05:47):
That he said, I'm a man, I'm 40, and this rant, and
Justin's gonna talk about that.
But I got Justin a shirt thatsaid that and on my comments,
like some people did not knowwhat in the world I was talking
about.
But then it was so satisfyingwhen there were people they were
like, Ah, I get it, you know?

SPEAKER_08 (06:04):
Yeah, we had some comments on on Facebook or
whatever the post, and somepeople were like, Okay, you're a
man, congrats.
Like they just, you know, andI'm like That's revelatory, like
of course you are.

SPEAKER_05 (06:17):
Yeah.
So the joke.
So anyway, I noticed also thatStrange Brew took 40 years.
Yeah, it took 40 years to get tothis point.
Three children later.
Right, yeah.
So you know, Strange Brew has asign about Kirby Smart, and so
it was just like in town seeingthat, you're thinking, man, that
is still making its way aroundfrom that controversial game
that we also talked about onthis podcast.

(06:38):
Very good.
Yeah.
So anyway, it got me thinking onthis.
So I asked Justin to give us histop five list of his coaching
moments.

SPEAKER_08 (06:50):
I don't think this would be in a particular order
necessarily, but one of thefirst ones um I remember um as I
was watching football a lot isback in 2002.
Um, Herman Edwards.
Um it was they just lost a gameand they were kind of on the
brink of the playoffs and stuff.
And anyway, uh this great quotecame and uh he just said, You

(07:11):
play to win the game.
And then it was like, hello.
Like because it's just likesometimes look, media does a
great job.
They do.
They that it's hard work, it'shard to do.
Um, but sometimes that questionjust gets thrown out there, and
you're just it just catches acoach at the wrong time.
Yes, and it's you you see wherethe the guy is trying to get to,
and it's just fun to see coachesjust kind of fire back.

(07:32):
Sometimes controlled willproduce some great ones.
Sometimes they're just reallyjerks about it.
But um had to talk to the mediafor doing their job and ask us
some questions.
But uh, another great one.
Okay, so Jim Bora was a coachfor the Saints for many, many
years, and so I knew a lot aboutJim Bora being a Saints fan.
Well, they went off and startedcoaching the Colts, and uh this

(07:52):
is the one of the best onesbecause he has a real kind of
squeaky voice a little bit too.
And they they were reallystruggling, they were in playoff
contention and they were reallystraight.
I think they lost like two orthree straight.
And the the um media was askingabout the playoffs, and he
jumped in, he was like,playoffs, playoffs.
He's like, I just hope we winanother game.
Playoffs, and it just keptgoing, it kept squeaking and it

(08:15):
kept getting like higher.
And um, yeah, I think somebodyjust interviewed him recently,
and he's obviously a littleolder now, and he still did it.
Yeah, um, he's like, I never dothat for people anymore.
So um Dennis Green had a greatone.
Again, these were all similartime frames.
These were early 2000s.
Dennis Green.

SPEAKER_05 (08:31):
They were killing it back then.

SPEAKER_08 (08:32):
Yeah, Dennis Green um was actually coaching the
Cardinals.
He was also a Vikings head coachfor a while.
Love Dennis Green, he's a goodold school coach, man.
Yes, and um anyway, after theylost to the Bears, he just went
on a rant.
He was like, they are who wethought they were.
Exactly, and we let him off thehook, and he just got after it.
And it's like it just said thesame thing over and over and

(08:53):
over again.
Yeah, and too.

SPEAKER_02 (08:56):
Yes, yeah, it was every one of them he's naming.
I know them just like I rememberthem like yesterday.

SPEAKER_05 (09:02):
Do you know?
Do you have you recognized howpeople use them?
Like, do people still say thesethings and you know like what
they're talking about?

SPEAKER_08 (09:08):
Yes, like the because we all of us, a lot of
us grew up with SportsCenter inthe early days when Sports
Center, ESPN, we're not notgonna, it's just not the same.
Not the same.
It's not the same, you know.
You had Stuart Scott and theseguys there, Scott Van Pilt and
all.

SPEAKER_05 (09:20):
Yeah, like what made it different?

SPEAKER_08 (09:21):
They just you grew to love the anchors and they
would bring you in with theirsayings, you know, like when
people hit a home run, somebodywould have some fun saying or
something.
Uh like he put the biscuit inthe basket, you know, or he's
cooler than the other side ofthe pillow.
Like everybody has theirphrases, and uh yeah, you just
grew to love them and andtogether they were a great team.

SPEAKER_02 (09:42):
And you felt like you was a part of you felt like
you was a part of it.
He's talking about growingtogether.
I was thinking about uh, I can'tthink of his name, Chris.
I think uh Chris Berman.
Whoop, you know, somebody spoketo that.
They like they may have a longplay, he made jukes on it.
Whoop! Like that's a little partof it.
It's almost like they have realpersonalities.
It's not like the people theyhave now don't, but it's like it

(10:05):
seems more commercialized.
Where back then it just seemedkind of more natural.
Like a conversation.
Yeah, it seemed good.
It's not like how we want peopleto feel about this podcast.

SPEAKER_08 (10:15):
Yeah, we could we could sit here and we could talk
about so many of the sound.
And so, and then you rememberall the stats from those things
too, which is kind of crazy.
But well depends on the tradetimes, another one.
Yeah, another one.
This was just a year after that.
And this is uh I remember thisfrom college uh as well.
Um, Mike Gundy going nuts, andthey they got after one of his

(10:36):
players, a young kid who doeseverything right.
And he makes a point.
He's like, he's done everythingright, and you're gonna bring
this up and bring this garbage.
This is garbage.
Like he just gets after aboutthe article.
And he said, and then he justgets Oh yeah, he had the article
in his hand.

SPEAKER_05 (10:50):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (10:51):
Yeah.
And um, you know, so you'regonna come after me or come
after someone, come after me.
I'm a man, I'm for me.
And uh, and then he walks offand he's like, it's garbage, you
know, and he just kept sayinggarbage too.
So it was great.
An epic rant, and of course, youknow, his tenure just ended at
Oklahoma State.
Um, I hope he coaches again.
He was uh, but he's a he's anold school guy.

SPEAKER_02 (11:11):
I don't know if he's that's how it is it's crazy
because that's how I actuallygot to know who Mike Gundy was.

SPEAKER_08 (11:17):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (11:18):
Like I didn't know the map, right?
I didn't even know who he wasuntil he done that rent, and
ever since then, yeah, I've beenkeeping keeping up with Mike
Gundy.
That's true.

SPEAKER_05 (11:27):
And you know what?
Another thing that kind of goesback to another conversation.
Did y'all notice at our gameagainst Georgia?

SPEAKER_02 (11:35):
Yeah, the section.
I noticed that.
I did.

SPEAKER_03 (11:39):
Did your boys go over there, Brady?
No.
Okay, I noticed.
I figured they would have been.

SPEAKER_02 (11:43):
Shirts off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Waving in the town, waving inthe shirts.

SPEAKER_03 (11:47):
Yeah.
Maybe they didn't get enoughlike video time or something,
because then they moved likeright behind the field goal.
Oh, they moved?
They moved sections, they moveddown.
But like it wasn't just like afew of them, like everybody
moved down.
Funny.
Right behind the field goal.

SPEAKER_05 (11:59):
So you can see it spreading.
But anyways, that's a side note.
But I do think it's interestingyou saying like you didn't know
who he was, but that like puthim on the map.
Yeah.
And now people you know rememberhim and paid attention to
Oklahoma State.

SPEAKER_08 (12:12):
Yeah.
Another another great one, andthis is a this is a good one,
like Jimmy Valvano.
Jim Valvano, yeah, amazingcoach, led NC State to um a
national title, which was crazy,unexpected.
They weren't supposed to win,they weren't even supposed to
get to the final four, crazyrun.
And then he ends up gettingcancer later and um ends up
looting his life, but he has a agreat um just quote of um just

(12:36):
like never giving up.
It was a great speech.
Um that does it.
I mean, that to me that didn'tfall into this one, but I wanted
to mention it because it'sreally good.
Yeah.
Um, and then and then DanCampbell with the Lions.
Okay, Dan Campbell just got inat 2000 or 21, in in the year
21.
Yeah.
And um with the Lions, hisintroductory press conference,

(12:56):
he drops like the most a weirdphrase that everybody was like,
really like, what is going onwith this dude?
He's trying to set the tone forthe franchise and what we're
gonna be doing, what they'regonna be doing.
And he says, We're gonna kickyou in the teeth and bite a
kneecap off.

SPEAKER_05 (13:12):
What does that even mean?

SPEAKER_08 (13:13):
Bite the kneecap off.
I think it's just like we aregonna be we're gonna be after
you, and we're not gonna giveyou an inch.
And this is the type ofmentality that we're gonna be is
Detroit, so we're gonna biteyour kneecap off.

SPEAKER_05 (13:25):
Okay, that generates a question.
I have a question.
Okay.
Do you think coaches have tohave that?
Like it says in my notes,instantly defining his coaching
persona.
Yeah.
Is that an advantage?
Like a coaching a coach havingto like become whether they're
the really that person or notbehind the camera, or like that,
but that a good coach has tohave something that sets the

(13:45):
tone.

SPEAKER_02 (13:46):
I think it's it could be good or bad.

SPEAKER_08 (13:49):
I think for instance, we have a very fresh
example of this.
Yes, Ryan Kelly.
I was just about to say tryingto speak Cajun, like do
different accents and stuff, andhe's from up north.
Like, dude, it's just not whoyou are.

SPEAKER_02 (14:02):
Yeah, and um he tried some things and they were
like, And it and it set him offat the beginning.
Everybody was like, once he doneit, a lot of people like, this
is not gonna work.
He was pandering.
Yeah, because it's like you'retrying to set a precedence that
is not reflective of who youreally are.
So it could go now, Dan Campbelluh doing like what what Justin

(14:24):
brought out, saying what hesaid, it worked in his favor
because like Detroit has becomesuch a like a nasty football.
Like when you know when you playthem, it's gonna be a long, it's
gonna be a long game.
Right.
Like uh I was looking at astatistic um from last year, and
every team after they playedDetroit, they lost the next

(14:45):
week.
And it was because they were sobeat down from playing against
Detroit, even if they won thegame.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm saying him starting offlike that and sitting there
present is that's what hisfootball team reflects.

SPEAKER_03 (14:58):
That's what I was gonna say.
It's in the press conference,but don't you think he probably
had that same conversation withhis team?
Oh, man.
Like we're gonna be gritty,we're gonna fight, we're not
giving up.

SPEAKER_08 (15:06):
Yeah, it's who he is.
Yeah, and that's who he is.

SPEAKER_03 (15:07):
Back to like the LSU one.
Like he's trying to be somebodyhe's not in that example.

SPEAKER_08 (15:11):
Oh, exactly.
Dan Campbell is that nuts.

SPEAKER_03 (15:13):
Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_08 (15:14):
And so he goes for fourth down all the time.
Yeah.
Some people really got after hiscoaching style and his game
management, and they stillquestion it at times.
But the thing about the thingwhat I love about this whole
thing too, you would think,okay, he has this press
conference, he's gonna shiftDetroit.
Detroit was awful.
Well, their first year, theywere like one in fifteen.
Yeah, they stuck with DanCampbell, Dan's major emotional,

(15:35):
and like was just fully investedin all.
Then he started turning thatship.
People started buying in.
And now, I mean, they're a theyare a juggernaut, they're a
force.
Um, people believe.
And like his he's he's a coach Ilove to watch because he's so
emotional, he's so in it, he'slike he's still playing.
He probably could still go outthere and be a player too.
Yeah, he's still jacked.

(15:56):
Um, but it's also cool, likeprevious people that have played
with Dan Campbell, previousteammates, like they're like,
dude, he was the best teammate,he was great, he was intense,
like he was the ultimate player.
And so um anyway, it's you rootfor those guys for sure.
Um, many of these coaches thatare on this list that you want
to root for them.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (16:16):
And um you could tell this with him, it wasn't
just coach speak.
Like he, like, like Justin said,he has turned Detroit.
Like Detroit was like, I justthink back playing the games,
like they was the laughing stockof the video games, because they
just wasn't good.

SPEAKER_08 (16:31):
But now, yeah, they they a juggernaut.
And they wasted the best runningback in the co in the world.
In the world, bear.
So, like, I mean, and you'rejust like, golly.
And they went on Thanksgivingoccasionally.

SPEAKER_05 (16:41):
Occasionally, yeah, yeah.
Okay, well, I'm thinking aboutjust in general, like a coach
could be outspoken like this,but really I feel like the most
effective coaches are just theyset a standard, they are who
they say they are.
Yes.
And if it comes out andexpressed like this, that's
great, but even not.
And so I'm thinking of a coachright now, and y'all, I'm
completely ignorant of football,NFL, whatever, but the Miami

(17:04):
coach came to mind.
Because when you look at himDaniel, when you look at him,
I'm sorry, like I'm just like, Idon't think, oh, NFL football
coaches.

SPEAKER_07 (17:13):
No, no, he's not a big thing.

SPEAKER_05 (17:13):
But he has a very specific way, right?
Isn't he pretty like statsdriven and like yeah, you know,
like scientific more driven?

SPEAKER_07 (17:21):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (17:22):
But it's like it would be different if he is
trying to be out here like theselike Dan Campbell, but he's
running his program like this.
Like, I think the point is justthe ones that are successful
know who they are.
Yeah, but know yeah, like whatworks for them, and they're not
trying to be all these differentthings, right?
Like, what do you think, Brandy,with being a coach of the club?

SPEAKER_03 (17:42):
Well, no, I think that's that's spot on.
And having like the peoplearound them buy into that, like
coaches, staff, players,everybody, because the buy-in is
where it's at.
Yeah, what's Brett like?
What does he tell his team?
Um is he an intense coach?
Is he like yeah, he's definitelyintense.
No.
Sometimes I had to tell him toturn his coach voice off.
He's very, very intense.

SPEAKER_08 (18:04):
Yeah.
And the good ones I think do agreat job at in who they hire
and who they bring on.
Because you don't want everybodybeing exactly like you either.
Right.

SPEAKER_06 (18:12):
Right.

SPEAKER_08 (18:13):
Um, and so it takes a lot of um I don't know,
humility and uh I don't know,you gotta do your do your
homework to get the rightpeople.

SPEAKER_07 (18:22):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (18:22):
I mean, I just I just think of, you know, certain
coach staffs I've seen, the bestones are like, okay, you have a
great relational leader, a greatdriver, um, and then you have
the bad cop maybe in one spottoo that you have, and then you
have some other ones.

SPEAKER_03 (18:37):
So um well, and I feel like not only that, but
like they all cover differentareas, but also like your
players respond to differentthings also.
So and you kind of figure thatout.

SPEAKER_08 (18:47):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (18:48):
It I mean it works well that way.

SPEAKER_08 (18:49):
Yeah, yeah.
And it it's been good.
Even watching like even just forthe baseball side and how those
coaching staff is all like howthey operate together is pretty
special.
I can't wait to see what how itpans out in the spring and in
the days ahead.
But like it's it's really neatto see um how guys are getting
pushed and how it comes thatthey don't like being pushed.
Yeah.
And they're like, well, this ismaybe a little different.

SPEAKER_05 (19:09):
We might have talked about this, but I don't know if
it was on the podcast or off,but me and Justin have talked
about just observing coaches andhow we'll be over there in the
stands at practice or whatever,and we're like, they are getting
great coaching right now.
Like the amount of therelational side, emotional
maturity side, directing,coaching up, and then sometimes

(19:30):
seeing those, hey, we just wentover this, so yeah, you know,
get your act together.
Yeah, you know, there's like amixed bag of all of that that
just when we were in sports, itwas just that last option.
I mean it's get your acttogether.
It wasn't all these otherthings.

SPEAKER_08 (19:44):
And so Yeah, I love the different coaching styles.
I honor those, um, whether it'smy preference or not.
But I remember um, or what Iwould do, I I love just think
about when we played.
All right, you think about thecoach that you're like, oh, this
is great, and then the ones thatyou were like, Oh, I couldn't
stand it.
But on the other side of it,you're really glad you did
whatever the drill was, whateverthe activity was.

(20:04):
And that I mean, I rememberdoing the attitude adjustment
day in high school after we lostto a team that we shouldn't have
lost to.
And we were supposed to winstate that year.
That was the goal.
And they locked the gates on usthe next day, and we were like
out there three to four hours.
Probably couldn't do that, butyou know, running and we were
all throwing up together.
It was like a great bondingexperience.
Um it was awful.
I know.

(20:24):
Sounds awful.
I mean, it sounds great.
But then we won 16 straight,ended up winning state that
year.
So it like we look at it andwe're like, yeah, I could have
gone a different way, sure, butit got the message across.

SPEAKER_05 (20:35):
Yeah, sometimes the running does more than talking,
yes, having a conversation.

SPEAKER_08 (20:39):
Yeah, but it's been cool to see just like the
productive things like thatthey're doing.
Like, yeah, it's there's somephysical challenges they're
doing, um, but this making themthink, it's making them talk,
it's making them it's producingleaders, it's producing
listeners as well.
So it's like it's uh I love it.
I've been I've loved watchingnew coaches come in and install
things and and be who they are.

(21:00):
And um, yeah, it's it's prettyspecial.
So I just know I don't want thisto come across like from the FCA
side, we're watching andlearning and really enjoying
like the coaches that we havehere at Mr.

SPEAKER_05 (21:10):
I smile a lot in practices because I'm like,
dude, this is great.
I am like plummin seeing likewhat's happening right now.

SPEAKER_08 (21:18):
Like Yeah, it is great.
So I we're we're blessed to bearound um some really great
coaches.

SPEAKER_02 (21:23):
And it kind of represents, you know, I just
feel like what we're about.

SPEAKER_08 (21:26):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (21:26):
People that rugged, rough, tough, you know, with
grinders, yeah, and to see umthose type of coaches and those
type of interactions.
I mean, now, yes, it is toughsometimes because you kind of,
but you also understand whythose coaches are who they are.
Right.
You understand why they havebeen so successful, uh, because

(21:47):
they just have that ability toknow how to pull something out
of a player that that player maynot realize it's there.
Or sometimes I've seen it, Ifeel like this happens too.
They can it it it's just whenyou're on a very high school
level, you're sometimes you'reso much better than your
counterparts.
You're not used to being pushed,you're not used to being

(22:10):
confronted.
But when you get to this level,it's a different, it's a
different animal.
And to have coaches that knowhow to push the right buttons,
there's it's it's a it's a it'sa work of art.
And then it's also great to seethe the outcome, like what they
actually become.
Great talents plus hardworking,plus the humility to follow

(22:34):
great coaches.
And then it's like I'm a I'mhumble enough to follow the
instructions of the coach, butthen it builds me to be the
leader among my teammates all atthe same time.
So it's it's it's very uh itthat's very gratifying to see
him.

SPEAKER_05 (22:48):
Yeah, I think that's why I'm smiling most of the
time.
It's because sometimes you cansee in the athlete, they don't
maybe understand, but you canjust by observing, you're like,
man, you don't understand.
I know that this is hard toabsorb, maybe right now, but I
see where this coach is goingwith you.

SPEAKER_08 (23:03):
And it's getting gold right now.
If it's gold, it it looks likecoal.

SPEAKER_03 (23:07):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (23:09):
And it's gold.
I'm telling you, it's gonna getyou where you really want to be.

SPEAKER_03 (23:12):
Well, and there's so many different layers, I feel
like, because the coach mightsee potential that you don't,
but also the coach knows yourgoals.
Right.
Like the conversations have beenhalf.
So like if you kind of losesight of that, like they're
still pushing you forward.
And like, so to me as anathlete, I'd be like, oh, they
really believe in me.
Like if they're calling this outat me, they really believe that
I can do it.
Right.

SPEAKER_05 (23:32):
So it's definitely a perspective to have.
Okay, so I don't know if y'allhave come across coaches either
as you are an athlete or workingwith FCA, but there are some I
love listening to what coachessay sometimes because even as a
parent, I'll catch myselfneeding to correct or needing to
instruct.
And really there's not muchgoing on in my brain, but

(23:53):
there's words coming out of mymouth.
And I'm thinking, what am Isaying to my kids right now?
I don't know, but I need to likeinspire them or motivate them or
correct them.
So sometimes you just say somereally funny stuff, on like not
on purpose.
And there was this coach atMississippi College that
players, I think one set ofplayers that he had, they like

(24:13):
made a book about all of hissayings.
So I don't know, I'm I'm givingy'all time to think, but there's
um, so if you have something acoach said that's memorable to
you that you can rem you know,bring back up.
But the one that he said thatYou're talking about Coach Duke.
Yes, don't say the sayingbecause it's gonna steal my
thumb.

SPEAKER_08 (24:30):
PA.
We love you, PA.

SPEAKER_05 (24:31):
Yeah, he uh said some of the most funny things,
but one of the times he said theplayers were he was a basketball
coach, girls basketball.
So he they were just not insync, didn't look whatever.
So he said, Y'all are runninglike a bunch of quails out here.
And we're like, quails?
I don't understand this.

(24:52):
But if you're listening to this,you need to Google this right
now.
It is hilarious because when youlook that up, it's the perfect
analogy.
And that's what I'm talkingabout.
These coaches say stuff in themoment that is so funny and so
appropriate, but it soundsridiculous at the moment.
Well, if you don't understandit, you're like, what does that
even look like?
Yeah, and he said it multipletimes before I ever was like,

(25:13):
what is he talking about?
Like, I need to see this, and itis hilarious.
When we looked it up, we werelike, Well, he was 100%
accurate.
That's exactly what it lookedlike out there.
So, do you have any co coachsayings, responses?

SPEAKER_03 (25:27):
I don't have specifics.
I'm sure I could come up withsome, but T Bratt is full of
them.
Like he says sayings abouteverything.
All the time.
Yes, all the time.
Like, I need to start writingthem down.
He could write a book handsdown.
Yeah, maybe we should have himon.

SPEAKER_08 (25:41):
There is one, I there is a video by a coach
named Bob Green.
Oh my.
Yeah, Google that too.
Oh, I could pull it up.
We could listen to it right now.
It's it's absolutely glorious.
Okay, let's see if I can get itup.

SPEAKER_05 (25:54):
I would love that if people commented.
That would be really fun ifyou'd tell us some of the
ridiculous things.

SPEAKER_02 (25:59):
I haven't got to know exactly who he's talking
about.

SPEAKER_05 (26:01):
You know who I'm talking about.
Oh, you don't have TikTok,that's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_01 (26:05):
Oh Darius on that bandwagon.
This dude is hilarious.

SPEAKER_05 (26:12):
But it's what's amazing to me is the ability
these coaches have to saysomething so ridiculous, but
it's so accurate.
When you actually look at it.
Like, yeah, that's exactlywhat's happening on the field
right now.

SPEAKER_03 (26:23):
But I would never like that.
This might be like a sillyquestion, but if somebody wanted
to comment, like if I thinkabout a saying and I want to put
it in, how do I comment?

SPEAKER_05 (26:32):
You can either email us in the show notes, there's an
email, or there's like a tab,like a link in the show notes
that says send us a text.
Oh, okay.
And it'll send it to our fanmailbox on the platform.
But also, the great Mike Leachalso had plenty of things that
he said that were hilarious thatwe go back and we listen to.
Yeah.

unknown (26:51):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (26:51):
Especially around the holidays.
He had some really good onesthat he would say.
Oh man, this is uh about candycorn, about coffee.
I'm trying to think of some ofthe ones I've seen from Mike
Leach.
He was so funny.
He's hilarious.
Oh, when he went through likeall the I think it was the
Pac-12 when he coached overthere that he went through that.
That's a great video.

SPEAKER_02 (27:10):
I think he did it for the SEC too.
One time he was like, Yeah, ifI'm going to a fight, I wouldn't
wanna you know he's sononchalant.

SPEAKER_05 (27:19):
Does he know he's being funny right now?

SPEAKER_07 (27:21):
All right.

SPEAKER_05 (27:22):
That's what makes it great.

SPEAKER_07 (27:23):
Yes, for sure.

SPEAKER_08 (27:26):
Okay.
All right, I gotta leave back tothe here we go.

SPEAKER_00 (27:33):
You know, and that's a double-edged horn, you know?
It's kind of like uh watchingyour mother-in-law go off a
cliff in a Cadillac.
You know, he's got mixedfeelings.
He looked at black lab on thefirst day of Beznauton season.
He was pulling at the chain.
We're kinda like a woodpecker ina petrified forest.
You know, just keep busy andlook for opportunities.
Can you imagine that?

(27:53):
I wanted that.
Pam Green vetoed that idea.
I got a short memory, just likewhen I was in the third grade.
Two of the best years of mylife.
His attitude's positive.
He thinks he could take on hellwith a squirt gun.
I ever expected she'll win.
None.
My wife couldn't go to churchwith me on Sunday, and everybody
said, Where is she?
I said, She doesn't go out witha loser.

SPEAKER_08 (28:09):
I say a six ACT in 1967.
And then it paused.
I I love the um one.
He says, I wanted to raise mykids on a depth chart in
Pamberry Vito death.

SPEAKER_07 (28:24):
Oh, I didn't hear the first part.
That was it.

SPEAKER_08 (28:26):
That is awesome.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, the uh double-edged sword,like mother-in-law running off
the cliff, Cadillac.
You know, it's kind of mixedfeelings.
Oh, not really.
No, not at all, but just the thestuff.

SPEAKER_05 (28:44):
Yeah.
I don't know.
That's a that's a special brain.
That's a special way to thinkabout and see life.

SPEAKER_03 (28:49):
I grew up going to the petrified forest, so that
one was kind of funny to me.

SPEAKER_05 (28:52):
Oh my gosh, that is hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 (28:54):
Looking for opportunity.

SPEAKER_02 (28:56):
Just like busy and look for opportunities.

SPEAKER_08 (28:58):
It's like a lab on the first day of Pheasant
Hutting.
He's just pulling at the chain.

SPEAKER_02 (29:04):
He's funny, man.
I had to give it to him.
When I first watched it, I waslike, and it I guess is what
makes it better, you can seeit's natural.
You can tell he's not trying toreally be funny.
It's just a part of who he is.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (29:17):
Do you this is, you know, uh totally off topic, but
do you I find people that arenot trying to be funny, funny.
Same.
Yes.
I don't know what it is aboutit, but they're just being their
normal and it's bad if theycatch me laughing.
Because I don't know.
It's just funny to me how you Idon't know.

SPEAKER_08 (29:37):
Those are the best.
It's life with Darius.

SPEAKER_02 (29:41):
I I I think that's the best though, because like
some stuff I say and do, I I I'mseriously not trying to be
funny.
Like, if y'all can imagine howmany times I got in trouble in
school.
I'm sure.
Because and I'm like, I was sixof them, and the people start
exactly.
I was six something and peoplestart laughing, and I'm like
literally.
Dead serious and the teacher, goto the office.

SPEAKER_07 (30:03):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 (30:03):
And I'm like, but I was go to the office.
It's like ain't nothing I cansay because the track record was
like, you know, I'm gonna tellyou, I got wittiest in school,
right?
I was in the tenth grade.
Oh, like most wittiest.
Most wittiest in the wholeschool.
So listen.
Oh wow.
But I didn't know what it meant.
So I'm going around, listen, I'mgoing around telling me, I'm the
most wittiest.
You ain't smart like me.

(30:25):
Like, and and and it tooksomebody who was like, that
doesn't mean smart.
And I'm smart in a way.

SPEAKER_08 (30:31):
I'm glad you didn't say it was the whitest.

SPEAKER_02 (30:35):
I was just glad in the 10th grade, I went to a big
school, so I was just glad I gotsomething.
But but I'm gonna say this thewoman that was over our uh
yearbook pictures, I used to cutup in her class all of the time.
And so I was late to thepictures, and she would not let
me take them.
Because she thought I was beingfunny, I was trying to, you

(30:57):
know, be defiant.
And she would, so in theyearbook, it has my name, it's
not picture.
And I was literally out therewatching them take the pictures.
Like she would not retake them.
Like it was, but it that'sthat's the downside of being
somewhat of a bad thing.
Well, I'm gonna tell you what Idid to her one time.
I was rejecting.

(31:18):
All right.
So so I actually actually didthis.
No, I did this after.
No, I did this after because sheshe really did In retaliation.
In retaliation, because itreally hurt me.
She hurt your feelings.
She really did.
Because I I was not.
You earned that.
You earned that.
So first you get voted amongyour class, and then you get the

(31:38):
whole school.
So you gotta think, I'm wearingthis as a 10th grader as a bad
honor.
Like and so what I did to herafter that though was she had me
to take a uh she some kind ofway, I don't remember what it
was.
No, I was supposed to sit in forbreak.
I skipped break and hid, and Iwas just out there amongst the
students hiding.

(31:58):
She came out there looking forme.
My friends was helping hiding meand everything.
And so when I came to her class,she sent me, she sends me to
ISS.

SPEAKER_01 (32:08):
Uh-oh, boy.

SPEAKER_02 (32:09):
I had never been to ISS.
And so I am, I am, man.
I'm I'm I'm mad.
So I'm calling my dad to comeget me.
My dad would not, he's tellingme he's gonna come, but I knew
he wasn't coming.
So I'm sitting in ISS.
Well, I had a makeup test for amath class, and the teacher was
like, she was not gonna allow meto, I had to take the test.
Well, the only time that she wasfree was the day I'm in ISS.

(32:33):
So she she calls the uh the guywith the walk-in talk and tells
him he has to come take thistest.
I goes to take the test.
The same day she puts me in ISS.
Her room is counterclockwise tothe class I'm getting ready to
go into.
I go to her window, knock on theknock on the door.
And wait.
She looks out and say, sneaks mytongue.

(32:57):
I stick my tongue out and thengo in the class.
And she comes out, she is onfire.
But what would made it evengratifying for me was her and
the math teacher got into itright there.
No.
And I'm just watching andenjoying.
She was like, she was like, he'ssupposed to be an ice.
And she said, he has to takethis test, and he's going to

(33:17):
take this test.
And he's going to take it inhere.
Now, if you got a problem withthat, you take like they were
literally like, and I'm gonnatell you that problems the most
I was wrong.
I was completely wrong, but Iwas gratified.
I was gratified because it waslike, I'm getting you back.
You did me wrong.
I'm still mad about not takingmy picture.
That picture.
But I mean, I was that's how Iwas though.

(33:38):
Like sometimes I do stuff andsay stuff and people be just
laughing.
I'm like, I was not even tryingto be funny.

SPEAKER_03 (33:45):
Yeah, that's what makes it funny.
It's just your personality, it'sjust a part of who you are.

SPEAKER_05 (33:49):
Okay, this is an example.
My sister, my oldest sister, shehas this thing.
She's she's a forensicaccountant, she's very logical,
very practical about a lot ofthings.
So I've witnessed her doingthis, and she it helped to to
like see her do this with me,with other people, and then have
a conversation.

(34:09):
And once she told me what shewas doing, now I see it all the
time.
And so it makes me laugh.
So this is what she does.
So somebody will ask a questionand she will tell them the
information they've asked for.
Like, or like I'll tell you anexample.
We went into a chicken saladchick.
She says, which one does nothave, I'll just say nuts.
I don't know.
And the girl just startedtelling her all these different

(34:30):
options.
And then my sister says, Whichones don't have nuts?
She just come she just says thesame thing.
She never changes based on whatthey're saying.
Whack.

SPEAKER_08 (34:39):
Give you another try.

SPEAKER_05 (34:40):
Yeah, she just says, but without saying that.
And so now that I know that shedoes, because I that because
once she told me, well, that Ijust repeat the same information
because they haven't given methe answer that I've asked.
And so they'll change on theirend, but she won't.

SPEAKER_07 (34:53):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (34:54):
And then eventually she'll get to what she wants.
And so now I see her do it, andI just crack up, and she's being
serious.
And so I'm over here like dyinglaughing.
So I'm like, this woman does notknow.
And that's what makes it reallyfunny that the other person had
no idea.

SPEAKER_08 (35:08):
So now Bethany does that to me at home.
And she'll ask me a question andI'll give her an answer.
She's like, that's not what Iasked.
And I'm like, oh well, you'reright.

SPEAKER_05 (35:15):
Yeah.
The other day I'm like, where isEli?
And then I got like severalsentences about other things.
Thick room.
And I said, that's not what Iasked.
I just needed practice.
I need to know where he'sliterally right now for whatever
I needed to know.
Um, but that's one thing thatshe does that just absolutely
makes me laugh, especially if Iget to observe it because I know
what she's doing.
And she's not laughing, but itmakes me laugh.

(35:36):
Um, so today that's a stretchtime.
We just wanted to be able to puttalk about coaches because
that's been just such a hugetopic in sports with them, move
it around.
And so we just took it from adifferent angle because we don't
want to get in the weeds onwhere they're going and should
they be whatever.
Um they get to they get tofigure all that out, but we can
have fun with these things.
And it is fun.
I think being a player andlooking back, if you are an

(36:01):
athlete right now, I know thatthere's things that are just
tough sometimes about thoseenvironments, but I think he
will look back and appreciatelike the things your coach said
and just the environment.
I don't I know that with women'sbasketball, Coach Purcell is so
energetic and he is constantlyout there showing them what kind
of energy he wants.
And so anyway, I think it's agood example of a coach who he

(36:24):
has he has a set way of doingthings and he displays that and
he's consistent in that.
And it's really fun for me towatch.
And so those are things that Idon't know if players fully see
or engage with at this point,but hopefully you will at some
point in your life you'llrealize, oh, that was actually
pretty fun that he was doingthat.
Um, so in our topic today, wewant to contrast relationships,

(36:46):
how they have changed in the waythat people go about through
different phases ofrelationships.
And Darius, you made a goodpoint about how not all
relationships, some of thethings we're going to talk about
is not necessarily just with asignificant other with the
purpose of leading towardsmarriage, um, but it could be
friendships, it could be inrelationships with coaches, but
in general, just likerelationships that are committed

(37:08):
relationships, what that lookslike.
But my contrast list isspecifically for dating, um,
things like that.
So we'll kind of weave in andout of those things.
But the difference is inmillennials, because we're all
millennials here at the table,right?
Or Darius, what is your cutoff?
Are you kind of like No, I'm amillennial.
Okay, no, I'm a millennial.

SPEAKER_08 (37:27):
I'm a I'm like a tweener.
I'm 84, but like I'm I'mtechnically millennial.

SPEAKER_05 (37:32):
Yeah.
I'm kind of what's funny is thatwhen these lists when these
lists first started coming out,like just things about I just
always, this is maybe weird, butwhen people started talking
about millennials, honestly, Ithe thing I most associated with
that was avocado toast in acoffee shop working.
Like that's what I felt like wasthe biggest change was like

(37:53):
remote style working.
And I don't know why avocadotoast got associated with
millennials, but anyways, thoseare like so avocado toast.

SPEAKER_02 (38:01):
I was gonna say I didn't know about that till
later.
I don't, I I didn't know aboutthat until today.

SPEAKER_05 (38:08):
I wouldn't say you're I guess the point is that
people would talk aboutmillennials and say they're I
mean, those are the two likeimages or whatever definitions
in my mind of like what they'redoing.
And I'm like, I don't do that.
Right.
But when I look at this listthough, as far as contrast of
how you go about relationships,oh, very much so.
Like I'm like, oh yeah, I'm amillennial and that's the way it

(38:30):
should be kind of thing.
So we're gonna try not to be toobiased, but I was gonna share
some of these things and justget y'all's feedback.
So without looking at my listhere, y'all looking, I'm
looking.
In attraction, what is somethingas a millennial?
What is like the first step ifyou can remember back to
whenever you first, you know,were attracted to the person

(38:52):
that you're married to now?
What were some of those initialthings that you did to show
interest, to know that they wereinterested?
Any of those things?

SPEAKER_02 (39:02):
Oh man.
Oh I think for me.
I was gonna say for me, youknow.

SPEAKER_05 (39:08):
In what way though?
In like what form?
Friendship.
But like in what like talking onthe phone, text, in person,
well, we person.

SPEAKER_02 (39:17):
Yeah, personal.
Or on the face.
Well, I I was kind of startedawkwardly because it was more so
we were familiar with eachother, but not actually knowing
each other.
But then once we came in contactwith each other in person, then
you exchanged numbers.
Um, so you kind of talk and textand but I can say a lot of early

(39:38):
on, it was the initial um thingfor us was to try to be around
each other in person.

SPEAKER_07 (39:44):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (39:45):
But but even in that though, I that's why I said we
was just kind of as friends.
So I I feel like theconversation, the personality,
uh, the comfortableness of beingaround, um it wasn't no
pressure.
So it's like just good, just agood aim.
Just a good hang.

SPEAKER_05 (40:02):
Well what how did Santana know that you liked her?

SPEAKER_02 (40:08):
I don't know if she well, I feel like she just
noticed the way I I uh shifted.
Like some things I would say Iwasn't doing, I wasn't looking
for.
I just started kind of shiftingthose things.
Like I because when we firstlike got together, we were just
friends.
And I would tell her, I'm notlooking for a girlfriend.
And but that was more so uh megoing off of what I experienced.

(40:32):
Um, but she was somethingdifferent.
So I feel like I'm saying that,but I'm wanting to be around her
more, um, making plans andinvolving, intentionally
involving each other with theplans.
Like I remember she had a uhgraduation dinner, no birthday
dinner.
Um and this is why we just rent,she invited me.

(40:54):
And when I got there, I'm theonly guy there.

SPEAKER_07 (40:56):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (40:56):
So you start kind of noticing something a little
different.
Uh and then I knew um who shepreviously dated, and I was not
that.
So for her to be intentionallyinvolved in me, I'm kind of
noticing.

SPEAKER_08 (41:10):
That's a big deal.
Yeah, that's a big deal.
The one guy there, hey.

SPEAKER_02 (41:13):
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, that's that was a big nocomp.
Like I ain't gotten to fightwith anybody.

SPEAKER_08 (41:18):
Uh or no perceived comp.

SPEAKER_02 (41:20):
Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_05 (41:24):
Exactly, yeah.
So So did you in that phase oflike attraction, did you let her
know?
Did you keep your feelings kindof private?
Or did you let other people knowor in on it or talk about her
outside?

SPEAKER_02 (41:36):
So I kept them private to her, but other people
kind of knew.
Because like I would have somepeople that come up and be like,
hey man, you see Santana, I'mthinking about talking.
No, you're not gonna talk.
No, you will not.
You will not.
So I would tell them to but toher, it's kind of like you know,
like we just, you know, kind ofjust building something here.

SPEAKER_03 (41:59):
Yeah, I don't want to and I feel like too for us,
it was more like the number onething was to have face-to-face
conversation.
If we couldn't have that, wewould talk on the phone, but it
wasn't like hours on the phone.
It was more like, hey, what areyou doing tomorrow?
You know, like setting up thenext one.
And y'all were both athleteshere.
Yeah.
So did your paths cross easilyexactly classes, yes,

(42:20):
sports-wise, no.
I mean, we kind of shared asimilar space, but we were on
like two different timeschedules.

SPEAKER_05 (42:26):
So and how did Brett know?
Because I know I've heard kindof like the start of y'all's
relationship, but like how didhe know that you liked him or
vice versa?

SPEAKER_03 (42:35):
Um, I mean, I think he's much more of a communicator
than I am.
So like he just flat out toldme.
He was just like like honest,like conversation, like, hey, I
like you.
I'm like, okay.
Was that early or was that aftery'all had a lot of people?
No, it's like a month.
It's like a month in.
Actually, he said, I think Ilove you.
And I was like, Whoa.
Well, I was like, okay.

(42:55):
Okay.
It's like when you say back,like I'm not sure just yet.
Hold on.

SPEAKER_07 (42:59):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (43:00):
Um, but like he's always been like a very good
communicator.
So, like to me, I never have toguess where he is with things
like always has been.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (43:07):
He has great questions.

SPEAKER_03 (43:08):
Where he probably guessed a lot on me because I'm
not very clear.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (43:13):
You know, and so yeah, it does kind of sound like
me and Santana.
She's very not as open.
She's as introvert.
So she kind of, you know, youhave to like sometimes like
people come to, is she mad atme?
I'm like, she probably mad atme.
Like she doesn't talk, like youcan't use what you see.
Yeah, yeah.
You can't let that be, you know.

(43:33):
So it was kind of it was verysimilar to that, you know.
I think she knew she liked me,but it was more so because of
how I talked and the way Imoved, the wanted to give me the
time to kind of confirm, youknow, like what we could be.

SPEAKER_03 (43:49):
One thing I've noticed too, like we were, I
feel like we were big at, Imean, of course, talking in
person, but if you couldn't getthere, like talking on the
phone, something I noticed isthey're really big on
FaceTiming.
Like they will FaceTime, evenlike my eighth grade students,
like at night, they would beFaceTiming each other, but the
phone might be facing theceiling.
Right.
But I'm like, why do y'allFaceTime so much?

(44:11):
Like it's it's just a different,yeah.
Like we didn't have that option.
I'm sure we would have if wecouldn't talk to them in person.
Yeah.
But that's kind of to me betterthan like sending them a message
because you at least can hearthe tone in the voice.
Right.
Or if they are looking at eachother, you can like see their
expression versus just liketrying to figure it out through
a text or a DM.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (44:31):
I got, yeah, I got a the generation beneath
millennials, what, Gen Z?
And I got a guy that calls me.
He's he's he's my friend, but uhhe's like a no, he's like a
brother, but he literally everytime he calls me is FaceTime.
Yeah, I've never heard of it.
Like, like it's almost like, doyou not know that the regular
phone works?
And the reason why I say that,because it's just like he does

(44:52):
it so much, it's like, man, thisis not good.
Like I'm just saying, you know,it's it's like if if I'm like
this, I may be in a meeting, andthen you get a FaceTime, and
then Well, everybody hears theconversation.
And then, or everybody in theblue, blue, blue, blue, blue,
blue, and then it scares youbecause even though you haven't
answered, the video is showing.

(45:13):
Like, like it's it's like it'sso but it I was I will say that
as it relates to the point ofthe difference of generation,
they do that a lot.
Yeah, like FaceTime or call youthrough Snapchat, like it, and
I'm like, man, this is reallynormal for them.
Like, I don't FaceTime on this,it's like I'm really trying to
show you, like, hey, I've beentelling you about this look.

(45:34):
Yeah, that's me.
But they that's a part of theirlike every day.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (45:39):
But I think it's just the right thing to get from
the store, dear.
Is this the right one?
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (45:43):
Yes, that's that's this is the right.
Oh my gosh, y'all.
Okay, this might not beappropriate and take it out at
this time.
But I FaceTimed Brett yesterdayor day before, and this is one
of those instances.
I was like, you gotta see this.
There was a guy riding his bikeon Main Street with skates on.
He was not pedaling, he wasskating on the bike.
But that's what instances werelike, I gotta show you this.

(46:06):
I could have videoed it, but Ineeded a laugh.
Like, I needed like real carwith me.
I need to share this with you.
And so that's how I think facedown, like I look at it, it can
be such a good thing becausethere's not there's less room
for like misinterpretation inthat.
Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_05 (46:21):
But yeah, I think it just depends on stage of life.
Like if you're at a job that'seight hours, like you can't
answer a FaceTime.
Right.
But if you have something youwant to share with me, voice
memos, I love a voice memo.
I just started using those.
Oh, I like it.

SPEAKER_03 (46:34):
Which they're good also, but you have to make sure
you're in a space where you canlisten to them because like the
face something it's out loud.
But I do like them because youhear tone and you like I just
feel like you can feel theconversation.

SPEAKER_05 (46:44):
And it's also like I don't have to rush, like I can
find a time to intentionallylisten and then thoughtfully
respond.
Yes.
Versus even if someone calls meand I have to take it real
quick, I might have to rush youoff the phone because but I can
like listen and then respondanyway.
So um one more question.
Justin, how did you know that Iwas interested in you?

SPEAKER_03 (47:04):
Ooh, hot seat right here.

SPEAKER_05 (47:05):
I know, I know how I started to figure it out about
Justin, but I don't know if I'veever asked you this question.

SPEAKER_08 (47:11):
I mean, I I felt like after we had that that time
at Polywogs, it was just ustalking.
You know, I felt like I feltlike there was a good connection
there if we use that word.
There was just like, okay,there's something here.
And then to the fact that youwant to set up racquetball the
next day, and that that wassomething I was like, okay,
cool.

SPEAKER_03 (47:31):
Like So she enjoyed it too.

SPEAKER_08 (47:33):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm like, that wouldn't behappening.

SPEAKER_05 (47:36):
I thought I would beat you, but you did.
It's in the worst.

SPEAKER_08 (47:40):
And so yeah, I from there I was like, okay, there's
there's something here.
So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (47:46):
Yeah, I noticed that Justin, there's this one time he
came to play racquetball withme, and he I couldn't really
tell.
He was really like, I wasdefinitely like he would say
buddy or like things like thisto me.
Like so when we'd see eachother.
Yeah.
And this would be.
And I'm not trying to throw himunder the bus.
I'm just saying this is what waslike I was I was thinking.
No game at all.
What a guy that likes.
I'm just trying to I'm in thatzone of like, does he like me?

(48:08):
Because I don't want to letmyself like him too much if he's
really not interested.
So this is what helped methough.
He came to play racquetball withme, and he came from baseball.
So he had already practiced.
Plus, he had like a littlehamstring injury, and then he
still came and he played withme.
And I remember that day.
First of all, I was like, wait,are you even supposed to be

(48:29):
here?
Like, is this even okay?
He was like, probably not.
But I was thinking, would a guythat didn't like me like do all
this?
Right.
Like, I don't think, you know,so that kind of helped me think
a little bit differently.
Like, I don't think he wouldhave done all that if he wasn't
interested in me.
So that kind of, you know, movedthings forward.
But some of the things I found,and this would be great if
people would comment so that wecan know if we're like, yeah,

(48:52):
well, this is Chad GPT, so youcan just take it up with chat if
they're wrong and we can correctit on here.
Um, but just so much, I I don'teven know if I want to get into
all the things, but I mean,initial interest, flirting,
privacy, presence, all thesethings are in a digital space,
more so than like we've talked alot about, you know, either over
the phone or in person, allthese different things about

(49:14):
attraction.
So things are very, uh, I wouldsay seem a little bit fluid,
like there's sarcasm, there'sreactions, there's things like
my picture on Instagram,checking my story every day, the
snap me, like all the thingsthat you have, all these little
things of, you know, I they sayon here, like vibes are first
impressions, you know.

(49:36):
So I'm thinking my firstimpression of Justin was that
conversation and hearing how hiswork ethic, how he got to
Mississippi State, the type ofperson he is, that was my first
impression.
I didn't have something to golook at and then predetermine
what I think this person isgiving off and if I like them or
not.
Like it was through aconversation I learned that.
So that's very different thanyou know, how things are now.

(49:57):
So going going into dating, wewon't take as long through all
of these, but dating, uh, whatwas Darius, did you this is the
next kind of question for us.
How did you transition from justbeing attracted, you know, kind
of that like flirty stage, youkind of like know that you're
interested to to make it moreintentional?

SPEAKER_02 (50:15):
Oh, I I believe for me it was just starting to
prioritize her more.
Prioritize my time with her, um,prioritize her importance in my
life, like moving her up theladder, and it's like the
sacrifices that I was willing tomake to be with her or to be
around her, like those thingsbecame more prevalent.

(50:36):
So uh which because you wantedfor me, I wanted her to know.
Um, you gotta think we'recollege students, Mississippi
State, you know, she's gettingready to graduate.
I had another semester after shewas gonna leave, so I still was
gonna be here, but I wanted myintentions to be clearly

(50:56):
communicated through everything.
Conversation, the way I acted,some of the things that I was
doing.
Um, and I'm because I didn'twanna I didn't wanna leave the
door open for somebody else tocome in, you know.
Hey, I'm like, I'm gonna shootmy shot, and I'm I'm trying to I
actually saw that happen incollege.

SPEAKER_05 (51:15):
There was a guy that liked a friend of mine, and he
had finally worked up thecourage to go ask her out on a
date.
And wherever they were, I wantto say it was at some church
service, but anyways, afterwardshe was gonna go do this.
That was what and he saw anotherguy come up and ask her out that
night, and those two ended uptogether.

SPEAKER_02 (51:34):
Like he meant so you're talking about like not
leaving the door open.
And well, then I that's why Iwanted to make it clear about
being here at college, becauselike you gotta realize, like
everybody moves at a differentpace.
And then um, I think she wassaying like how Britt is, he's
more direct.
I didn't want to leave the dooropen for somebody who's more
direct and gonna clearly statetheir intentions to, you know,

(51:57):
so I kind of uh up my game.
I mean, I I mean that's what Ithought.

SPEAKER_05 (52:02):
Did you have an official conversation where
you're like, I wanna be, I wantyou to be my girlfriend?

SPEAKER_02 (52:08):
Okay, so as we started hanging out more, she
kind of we both, you know, youkind of know, but one night I
did just stop and say, Hey, areyou gonna be my girl?
And she was like, I mean, areyou asking?
And I'm like, Yes, I'm asking.
I want you to be my girl, youknow, I want us to make this

(52:30):
official.

SPEAKER_01 (52:31):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (52:32):
And from that point on, we was official.

SPEAKER_01 (52:34):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (52:35):
You know, and I but I feel like she was only moving
like that with me because like Iwas talking right.
This is a one-liner.
I was talking right, but I waswalking left.

SPEAKER_07 (52:46):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (52:47):
Like I'm saying one thing, um, but I'm doing
something else.
So it's like, I feel like out oftrying to protect her own heart,
it's like, I don't want to getmy hopes up too much.
So I'm not gonna, but so it waslike when she asked me, Are you
asking me?
It was for me to clearly statewhat is this?

(53:08):
I know we've been hanging out,right?
You've been around my family,I've been around yours, but it's
not something set in stone.
And so that that's what it wasfor us, you know.
But um, I mean, everyone'ssituation, you know, it's it's
it's not the same.
But I know for me, I wanted herto know through my actions,
through my conversations, like Iwant to be with you.

(53:30):
Yeah.
And I don't want to leave thatchance of like allowing
something great to slip awaybecause I'm I'm not sure or I'm
playing around.
Like she was at a stage in herlife where I already knew.
If it wasn't me, it was gonna besomebody else.
Yeah.
Like, like, cause she was notfor the just fiddling around and
just trying to date, just to be,no, it's like this is who she is

(53:53):
and this is where she was going.
I didn't want to miss out onthat.

SPEAKER_05 (53:56):
Yeah.
Which I feel like from what I'veheard in just conversations,
that even though people change,forms of communication change,
it's still, and we're gonna talkabout this a little later, but
it still seems like a very highpriority or value or desire is
clarity, like that.
Like no matter who you are, it'snot very fun.
I mean, I would say even seeingrecruits or different things,

(54:17):
just observing, like even inthat space, they want it to be
clear what this program isoffering or if they're
interviewing for a job, how mucham I gonna get paid?
And so it's still the it's thesame in this space.
Yeah, is like you want clarity,and you don't want to live, it
doesn't feel good to live in thespace of I'm having a good time,
but I have no idea.
And then like, what if there'ssomebody else on the side you

(54:38):
don't know about?
That happens.
Girls or guys, you know, theykeep going on to the next
person, whatever, and you don'tknow, and then you're kind of
being taken advantage of becauseyou're just living in the same
thing, and you think, oh, hemust really like no, he's on to
the next, and you don't evenknow it.
Yeah.
Situations like that before,like in high school.
So, and it's not fun.

SPEAKER_02 (54:56):
And then you think about it, not only is it not fun
because more often than not, youdon't end up with that person,
but then it's not fun becauseyou didn't waste the time.
Like time that could have beeninvested somewhere else, it was
wasted waiting or you know, andso yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (55:11):
My situation was like in high school, we I ran
cross-country and I had justmoved to a new school.
And so cross country meetsseveral weeks before school
starts.
So I'm just that's all I knowfrom that school.
And this guy was pretty flirtywith me.
I enjoyed hanging out with himand like laughing, joking
around.
Let me tell y'all, not a goodfeeling first day of school to
come around the corner and he isall up on a girl in the hallway.

(55:32):
Uh-uh.
I was like, this is not coolbecause of how he made me feel
special and all that stuff, justjoking around and emotionally.
So not cool situation to be inthat like stage.
But what about you, Brandy?
Did Brett set you down sit youdown or have an intentional
conversation of like we'removing from hanging out to
intentional?

SPEAKER_03 (55:50):
Um, no, I'll be honest, like within two weeks of
us hanging out in Vicksburg, hehad to come back here for
football in June, and I cameback here too.
I didn't have to come untilJuly, but it was like we enjoyed
hanging out.
So I feel like even when we wentback when we were engaged,
trying to figure out when wewere gonna get married, we were
like, when would when did westart dating?

(56:10):
Like there is like it was justliterally went from like when we
started hanging out and talking,like But it sounds like he was
very went by him even justsaying, even though you didn't
have the girlfriend, like it'sofficial, he was very clear.
Yes.

SPEAKER_05 (56:23):
This is where I like him going.

SPEAKER_03 (56:25):
Yeah, I don't think we ever had like we're dating,
but it was like I mean we wereboth back home.
So we went to his house and hungout.
We watched some news with hisparents and I, you know, and
then so like from then on it waskind of like we're inclusive,
like we're together.
Yeah.
So we never had a conversation,but we both knew.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (56:42):
I got back from spring break, my freshman year,
and Justin came and gave me agreat big hug and was like happy
to see me.
Yeah, I was.
Which was great.
But I was really, I didn't knowwhat his standards or boundaries
were, and I knew what I hadcommitted to, and I really
thought, because of how like bigof a hug he gave me and how
excited he was, that he mighttry to kiss me, and we had not

(57:02):
had a conversation.
And in my head, all I couldthink about is am I about to
have to slap this guy?
Right.
I don't know what is normal tohim that we slap slap.
I was like, he doesn't know whathe smoked me.
I don't know that he knows whatmy commitment is, my boundaries
are, and so it scared me how howanyway, so I was like, he better

(57:24):
talk to me soon.
I I don't want him to takeanything or assumption, you
know, assume anything.
And it was within a few daysthat Justin did actually say,
like, we need to talk, and satme down and was very direct
about how much you be mygirlfriend.
And actually, funny story isthat I was not allowed to date
in high school.
So I didn't know what to say.

(57:45):
I was like, I don't know if I'meven allowed to ask my dad.
No, my mom.
I said I need to talk to my mom.
I have no idea what I can orcan't do.
Anyway, so that was a fun littleconversation.
But do you remember anything?
Did you have asked about I didtalk to her?

SPEAKER_08 (57:58):
Well, thankfully it just from previous learning
experiences, I mean, I was readyto talk, not only ask that, but
then talk boundaries likeimmediately.
So just like, hey, this is whatI want to do.
I want us to wait for kissing,as at that point.
And so in my mind I had acertain time frame of what that
could look like.

(58:19):
And then um but just letting herknow out of the gate, like this
isn't a fast-paced thing here.
Like we're building this on afriendship.
I really I think we're reallylike hanging out with each
other.
A lot of things I enjoy aboutyou, and so I just wanted to
make it official.

SPEAKER_02 (58:34):
That's nice.

SPEAKER_06 (58:34):
That's nice.

SPEAKER_02 (58:35):
That's I mean I mean it's it's good to hear like what
y'all, you know, everybody is Iguess everybody's different
stories and how we come about,you know, and we kind of and I
think this is a testament to thelisteners.
Three different stories, but weall ended up in the same place.
Yeah.
Like happily married.

(58:56):
It's is it's not like we allcan't.
And I'm saying that to encouragesomebody because your situation
is not like someone else's,right, you know, doesn't mean
that you're not gonna get to theplace that you desire to be in
and that God would have you tobe.
You know, she was talking abouthow their communication was, how
uh me and my wife'scommunication was, and then even

(59:17):
you and Justin, like some of thethings.
Like, and I guess it's neatbecause it's like I didn't do it
that way, but that's neat thatat that stage of life, like most
people think college is openseason.
Like this is like I'm justsaying, this is I mean, that's
really, you know, a lot ofpeople.
So and then that's some people'sreality.

(59:37):
So for y'all to have at that agestrong boundaries, yeah, and
then respectable boundaries toeach other, first to yourself,
then to each other, and then tosee what y'all are doing now, to
see your kids.
Like it's just a that's just anamazing, it's an amazing thing
for me to be able to see andwitness.

SPEAKER_08 (59:56):
Yeah.
Well, and knowing that shehadn't dated anybody before
either, really.
kind of made it like I need to aresponsibility.
A big responsibility to reallymake sure um I'm protecting her
in this and being careful withthis, you know.
So Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:00:13):
Wow.
Did you have something youwanted to add to that?

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:15):
No, I was just gonna say that was like one thing that
I thought about was like paceand that's what Justin said.
And like I feel like girlsespecially some girls, I don't
think I fall in this category,um, but like tend to overshare
things.
You know, it's like even withguys or the guy that they're
talking to, but like settingthose boundaries even with like

(01:00:36):
not oversharing every littlething and getting yourself even
more attached in a situationbefore it's too early.
So like pace has been a bigthing that's been coming to me
with relationships.

SPEAKER_05 (01:00:45):
So this is one thing that was a contrast on this list
about Gen Z was fast emotionalconnection online, but slower to
define the relationshipofficially.

SPEAKER_07 (01:00:54):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:00:55):
That's what you were saying.
I mean but it makes sense sofast emotional connection online
but slower to define therelationship officially.
So I was thinking about how fastif you are liking people stuff,
like it's so removed from youthat you can have this pseudo I
I mean I don't want to say thatnobody can have a genuine

(01:01:17):
connection but it is kind oflike this pseudo connect.
Like you do feel thingsemotionally off that.
And you can get there real fastif you're exchanging a variety
of things.
And then plus two if you'resharing like deep things.
Yeah.
But the if you remove all ofthat and if you I think just
face-to-face communication,going to events, things that's

(01:01:37):
slower in general.
Like it's just a slower pacebecause it it takes more time
the coordinated time to hang outsee each other.
But you have direct access allthe time how quickly you can be
talking back and forth, sharingback and forth, you know?

SPEAKER_08 (01:01:52):
Wow.
It's interesting to me thatbrings more people to the
playing field.
And what I mean by that isthere's some guys that are
really good with girls.
They know how to work like canyeah m maneuver that world I was
not one of those.
But um all right so Darius yeswe know Darius was okay so now

(01:02:12):
with the way it's changed solike I I just wasn't gonna be
out and all that stuff.
Um which not that it was bad Iwas I wasn't real that wasn't
comfortable for me.
But if I had this and there wasa way for me to communicate and
get emotional connectionquicker.
Right.
Without but being behind thisveil a little bit like that
that's not good.
That's not I mean and so itbrings more people that aren't

(01:02:35):
really mature maybe areemotionally mature getting
connections emotionally quicklyum and then not having like dude
like you need to there's astandard here like you need this
is a this is not appropriate andthis is appropriate.
Like it could get real off to belike there needs to be something
official here.
You can't bring somebody intothis.

SPEAKER_05 (01:02:53):
So if I multiplied like that situation I mentioned
with that guy in high school byhowever many people are online
that are in my circle just thatI could talk to I mean that's
potentially we'll just say 10there could be 10 relationships
like that yeah that are doingthat to me versus just this one.

SPEAKER_08 (01:03:09):
That's a whole baseball battle line up there.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:14):
Yeah and it's a um things like that you're talking
about pace that type of at thatspeed it's uh this is what I've
noticed it's uh uh an illusionof confidence that people have
that way that they don't havepublicly yeah right and but what

(01:03:36):
happens is because the initialintroduction is that I can kind
of set at least what I want youto believe I am so then once you
meet me I act what I said but ifyou would have met me initially
it's kind of like this likeshooting your shot and I'm just
gonna because this is theterminology just the young
people so it's like this meseeing somebody at a baseball

(01:04:00):
game and the confidence to walkup to them no initial previous
conversation I have to come upto them introduce myself talk
and they get to experiencesomewhat of the real me because
of feelings emotions all of thatis tied in versus a person

(01:04:21):
seeing you at a baseball gamewill not approach you but then
find you on social media connectwith you jump in the DM and then
now I'm a person in the DM thatI am not in person.
It's like I've seen that andit's kind of one of those things
like I'm a natural I was just anatural I'm a first of all I'm a

(01:04:43):
people person.
Then it's just a naturalconfidence that I just have like
to talk to people but then Iwill see people that move like
that and then somebody say wellthis is how they've been talking
you like who's such a such?
Yeah because it's like it givesyou ability to be a person that
you really not right which couldlead especially if you have a

(01:05:04):
lot of people who are and Idon't want to say this in a
degrading way but if they'reshallow then could you gonna be
misled and easily influenced bya lot of impostures.
And I'm I'm serious I don'tthink the DM is the worst.
Sure I don't either but but I dobelieve with that you the person

(01:05:26):
receiving and giving have to beintentional and also very
careful about I'm not going toallow this to be the lifeline of
what we have.
It's like this can be theinitial step sure but this can't
be what we have because man it'snothing like he was talking
about the playing field beingopen I always just remember when

(01:05:48):
I was in that season man it'snothing to be communicating with
up to 50 people just like andthen too you start getting he
was talking about people thatcan hook to you.
Some people have nothing to doso that's all they doing.
Right.
You know and you kind of startfeeling obligated to respond to

(01:06:10):
so many so it's is that that isit's a I don't think it's very
bad but I feel like like wealways talk too much on anything
besides Jesus is not good.

SPEAKER_05 (01:06:20):
Yeah I just hear that from girls it's like they
they want some kind ofconfirmation that this is the
right choice of the rightperson.
And I'm saying if they'rekeeping you in that world get
them out like ask to you knowand see if you see the same
person or if you get a differentvibe when you're face to face.
But okay so this is a kind ofprobably a pretty old school

(01:06:41):
term but people would saycourting would be the next step.
We're just gonna say commitmentbecause I don't know if that's a
term that you know people arefrom I didn't even really wasn't
familiar with that.
But anyways basically you knowonce you get past like dating
you kind of figure out okay thisis the person for me.
You move on to okay this isgoing to end it like we're going
towards marriage.

(01:07:01):
And so that would lead to otherconversations and I guess you
just I mean we got to a certainpoint where I mean obviously you
planned a proposal and all thatstuff.
And but we knew I don't know ifthere was anything that flipped
the switch I mean obviously timeframe like we would knew that we
weren't going to be gettingmarried my sophomore year or
something like that.

SPEAKER_08 (01:07:19):
But Yeah.
I'm trying to think about that.
Yeah I don't know what kind ofswitched from I know one time I
faked you out really, reallygood.
Because you were like me or ifyou thought about like marriage
and yeah because we wereapproaching I guess for us it
was a tippy line.

SPEAKER_05 (01:07:33):
I don't know if that's everybody's situation
because if you're not in collegeand making a life decision on
where you're gonna work, whereyou're gonna move all that, if
you're later then you might haveother it might be faster
sometimes it was it was Ithought this was funny at the
time maybe it wasn't so good butI was like man Bethany I I
didn't even thought about that.

SPEAKER_08 (01:07:49):
And I already got a ring so it was really kind of
funny.

SPEAKER_05 (01:07:52):
Oh and that sif me yeah I was not happy with that
respect.

SPEAKER_08 (01:07:57):
Yeah but he did he did kind of it was out of the
surprise and something that wascoming in the near future.

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:02):
But he did I would say this is a very traditional
thing that might not happenanymore.
Justin did talk to my dad I didand ask.

SPEAKER_08 (01:08:08):
That was very challenging guys I recommend
that you do that um it you gottaface it your dad's social so it
was kind of but I don't know ifguys do that anymore.

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:18):
I don't know if that's a thing.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:20):
Well well I'm gonna say so I I I think two things
that could be twofold I feellike number one it it the guy I
believe and I would expect if aguy wants to marry a young lady
the respectable moral thing isto have the blessing of her
parents.

(01:08:40):
Yeah.
Like that's but then if becausewe in a different day so I
believe if the guy initiallydoesn't like if that's not his
initial thing to do I do believethat the young lady should at
least open that door and say Iwant the blessings of my parents
just like I would want theblessing of your parents if this
is what you want to do I wouldwant you to have a conversation

(01:09:05):
like like so even if I think theguy should do it but if he
doesn't the the at least theyoung lady should at least open
that door.
It's some kind of considerationof the family.
Yes because you gotta think thefamilies are gonna get ready to
come together as one right andyou don't want I at least I
wouldn't I wouldn't want thatnow uh now with you with the

(01:09:28):
courtship now I I wanted to makethis plain because we talk about
communication so Santana's ideafor when we started dating was
much different from mine.
Okay which I believe that that'swhy constant communication and
getting understanding like eventhough I was dating to marry I

(01:09:49):
wasn't dating to keep to getmarried.
Like like what I mean is likemarriage was not on my radar
like I it wasn't something I'mtrying to do in a year's time.
Yeah yeah you get what I'msaying which with her she was
dating and she wanted to bemarried she was and she didn't
put me in a time crunch but Iwant to say this being a me

(01:10:13):
being in a committedrelationship and being around
committed people like we werearound people that were married
so some things some of thatinsight and information that I
started getting started comingfrom some of those sources like
like it will be a married guythat sees me in Santana and will
pull me to the side like one ofmy mentors was like what are you

(01:10:35):
doing?
Like he asked me that becauseyou know we both graduated we're
both working it's like what areyou doing?
And I I was like what do youmean we we're dating you know he
was like do you see yourselfmarrying her?
Like is she the one?
I'm like I mean yeah he was likewhat you waiting on then I was
like well you know we I startand really what I realized was I

(01:10:56):
was okay with commitment in thedating but not commitment to the
marriage like that was adifferent and uh he asked me
this question I'm gonna telly'all what I did.
He was like what are you waitingon?
I'm like I mean I'm trying toget my money together I'm trying
to get you know I'm saying allthis the right stuff but I'm
knowing it's really excusesdressed up.

(01:11:17):
And so he was like but let meask you this could you see her
with somebody else?
He said because the reason whyI'm asking you this because
she's a wife.
She's not a dating girl that youjust date she's a wife.
So I was like he was like socould you see her be married
being with somebody else?
I paused about 10 seconds man nolike I just started getting

(01:11:38):
upset because I'm like man me tosee her with oh no no but I
guess what I did I left rightthen and went and bought an
engagement ring and the placewas closed.
I went to go get an engagementring the place was closed I was
up there before the place openedthe next morning because my mind
was made up and once I got thatring like I got that ring and I

(01:12:00):
told her I said you got sixmonths and I really because I
really wanted six I reallywanted to get married before but
I knew to plan a I wanted togive her a wheel and I wouldn't
and so I was like you got sixmonths to plan something because
my mind it's like no to take Iit's like when he being around
somebody committed it sparked itdidn't push me but it it removed

(01:12:21):
scales from my eyes and helpedme understand like what you're
you this is a wife so I say thatin courtships I'm pretty sure
she probably was frustrated inour courtship because it's like
okay what are we doing?
What is he but being aroundother committed people they they
they help me.

SPEAKER_08 (01:12:38):
I am right I I you s that question that he brought up
is she is a wife or not and nota what?
Just a girlfriend she's just agirlfriend.
Okay and so I think I thinkthat's maybe we could sit on
that a little bit I think if youwant to if you're serious about
this and you're looking for theright person, waiting on the

(01:12:59):
right person or whatever, youneed you need to look out for
someone that is a wife materiallike that.
If somebody is in this like it'slike this uh this circle of just
dating this dating world andhanging out and having
connections with people whateverand whatever that is involved
it's not gonna be easy and it'snot gonna be I think it's

(01:13:19):
extremely hard and not right totry to pull somebody out of
that.
Like they need to be already outin some ways.
You have to scout in pursuingthat and you'll see the people
that are out of that circle.
If you are trying to go intothat circle of all that wildness
right you know um it's gonna bereally hard to pull somebody out

(01:13:41):
and then be and that work out.
And and you're just gonna openyourself up to be hurt.

SPEAKER_05 (01:13:46):
Well if they're prac if anybody's practicing that
like who's to say they won't dothat to you?
Like I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 (01:13:51):
That's just kind of like logic to I hope I explained
that okay.

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:54):
I'm just I don't know yeah I think that was a
great question he asked you andsomething that I don't know that
I've ever like thought about thedistinction between the two Yeah
well I will say it like this theBible says the man that finded
the wife finded a good thing andobtained favor from God she's
already a wife before you makeher one and one analogy I always

(01:14:18):
think about I say we broughtthis out in the the the guys
when we was meet with the guys alot of times guys want the
reward of leadership without theresponsibility of leadership and
to realize that like when hesaid that to me this is what I
realized she was a wife and Itell any young lady out there

(01:14:39):
like you have to know that youare a wife even if that's not
acknowledged by the counterpartand I say that because like how
God helped me is whatever and Itell the young ladies that I'm
around in this aspect whoeveryou marry is just like getting
in the car as a passenger seatrider.
So it doesn't matter how youfeel about them, whoever they

(01:15:03):
are there's where you're gettingready to go.
So it's I say that to make themvalue themselves enough to say
I'm not just gonna get in thecar.
And then also for the guy torealize because that's what
helped me with Santana being awife but I saw her as a daughter
of God it's like I don't want tobe responsible for taking
somebody who's doing so great bythemselves and put them in my

(01:15:27):
vehicle and we we crash.
Like like you know I realized itwas a responsibility for me to
make sure that I'm doing rightby her you know and God has
trusting me.
So that was like when they whenwhen that was brought to my
attention and as and I do saythis to if you want to be
committed be around committedpeople.

(01:15:48):
Yeah for sure be open to peoplewho are committed who have that
is is it's not like they'regoing to control you but they
can at least give you insightgive you information to help you
to make sure that you'renavigating these seasons of your
life as best as you can.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:03):
Yeah because like we said earlier it's hard when you
say this is what I want it'shard sometimes in your own self
to be able to to see if you arebeing consistent in your actions
to what you say.
So just having other people inyour life that can say that I
mean I was thinking you knowthis is not a space that I live
in very much like the digitalspace but I mean I'm like is
there someone brave enough tosay you know here are my snaps

(01:16:26):
what do you think about what I'mcommunicating yeah with these
guys is this appropriate like isthere someone bold enough to do
that you know to be becausethat's what um we talked about
like what's appropriate, whoteaches us that and obviously we
can be we can read God's wordand it will there are things
there um that we can pick up onour own but there's other people

(01:16:47):
in our lives that have doneother things.
Like if you admire somebody andwhat say you're in a sport and
you admire what someone hasaccomplished in their sport, it
would make sense if you want tobe in that same place that you
maybe go spend time with them orask them questions.

SPEAKER_07 (01:17:00):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:17:00):
So I was thinking about as far as what's
appropriate, how did I learnwhat was appropriate and what
was not and we were at thatdonor gathering the other night
and we took the kids with us andour youngest is three and they
were, you know, I realizedbecause I was thinking about
this topic about appropriatewhat's appropriate, I started
using that language with themlike in this space in this house

(01:17:21):
someone else is hosting us.
There it's all adults it's myjob as this as being a parent
when he is whittling around andhe's running around like some of
that's okay.
But I was using that language Isaid this is appropriate right
now for you to sit in this seatand eat this food in this
setting this is what's okay.
And that's just something thatmaybe we take for granted that

(01:17:44):
we don't even realize ishappening but that we need those
people to be able to definethose lines.
And in one we talked aboutboundaries on our side with the
girls and that's one thing thatI think that I'm trying to learn
a little bit more about is thatI know when we were coming up
through college at BSU or adifferent place like to DTR, did
you have a DTR was define therelationship talk.

(01:18:05):
Yeah.
And so that was language thatwas used.
And so that was really heavyboundaries but it seems like
boundaries are a little bit moreelusive in this space that
things can be deleted in 24hours or you know like so so are
we talking a different languagelike are boundaries even a thing
that is valued, known?
Like I don't know.
So that's something I'm tryingto like figure out because I

(01:18:26):
don't I don't know in my brainhow you can do a relationship
without being clear on thosethings.
But I'm not saying it can't bedone.
I just don't know what thatlooks like.
But that's another thing I'mlearning too is that that's it's
kind of not always defined andit's kind of so I wanted to have
the conversation about who inyour life or how do you know
what's appropriate.
How did you know what wasappropriate?

(01:18:47):
You know, like whether inrelationships or other areas of
your life what are those sourcesyou know I know parents, my
church, lessons I was learning,reading scripture watching
siblings ahead of year.
No joke.
If you're a younger siblingsometimes you have the
advantage.
Yeah.
I know that because when I hadJustin come home I was so scared

(01:19:07):
I was thinking about otherinstances with other guys that
had come to our house that mysisters brought and what
happened.

SPEAKER_08 (01:19:15):
They didn't pass the juju test.

SPEAKER_05 (01:19:17):
Yeah yeah so I was pretty scared about that.
Um so I did yeah I was able tokind of learn like what is
appropriate and what is not andwhat should I prepare Justin for
before that happens by watchingthose instances.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:19:31):
Well that's what I was going to say too like
whether it be family friendsthat go to church with you or
just family friends or parentslike more of it is learned from
like witnessing or actions thanactual things that were said.

SPEAKER_02 (01:19:45):
Caught than taught yeah and then I was going to say
uh realizing that you can learnfrom every situation because I
was around a lot of umrelationships that didn't make
it yeah but I was still able tolearn from them why you know and
so uh of course my parents um mygrandparents uh people from

(01:20:12):
church um and then you know justthe relationship with God aspect
some of the things that he wouldshow me you think about it he
says you know husband love yourwife like Christ loved the
church so looking at thedynamics of Christ loving the
church and what he does helpsyou know that was helpful um and
then conversation and communityI think sometimes you know when

(01:20:33):
I look back at my past failuresit was because I was trying to
navigate life by myself yeah andand you know sometimes it's good
to have people that uh you canbe accountable with you can be
vulnerable with you know thatcould help you you know and I'm
saying uh trusted people now I'mnot saying just go out here but
I'm saying trusted people thepeople that I trusted most um

(01:20:55):
they would hit me becausesometimes and we had this
conversation before butsometimes you can be in a
different season where a youngman and a young lady are just in
different seasons.
Right.
And the comprehension can be offbecause you're not understanding
one another but it would takesomebody to say well this is
what she's saying.
It's like oh trusted friends inyour relationship is a big deal
yeah it is oh this is what shewas I didn't get I didn't I

(01:21:17):
would have never or this is whathe said it's like those trusted
spaces so those were things thatthat helped me but I can say
this I was blessed to grow up ina two-parent household and see
the the sacrifices you know ofmy my parents see uh and I'm not
saying it looks the same inevery household but you've seen

(01:21:38):
gender roles that kind of speakto the foundation of why do why
is my dad holding the door openfor my mom or why is he carrying
the heavy stuff.
You know those small littlethings you start kind of
training the okay this is whatyou know and then when those
conversations start happening uheverything just align and I was

(01:22:00):
able to you know I feel like Ifeel like I'm a good husband.
You know my wife I would let hersay but she's still with me
because I mean exactly accountsfor anything we're still hanging
in there.

SPEAKER_05 (01:22:11):
Now how how many years have y'all been married?

SPEAKER_02 (01:22:14):
Seven.
We've been together seven yearshanging in there like a loose
tooth.

SPEAKER_05 (01:22:17):
And then y'all are 17 uh yeah 17 and a half okay
and then we're almost 17 inDecember December December what?
December 13th.
Okay.
Yeah coming up so as we wrap upthere's a few things that we
felt like at least in ourconversations what could be
building blocks or fundamentalsthat lead to a committed

(01:22:39):
relationship that the way Iworded it was no matter what
generation you're in, these arethings probably that you could
find in all committedrelationships, no matter what
platform you decide tocommunicate, how you decide to
communicate, but these thingsyou can find with those people.
So test us out.
Go ask some people that arecommitted and be like, do you
have these things?
Let's uh we can uh figure out ifwe're on track here.

(01:23:02):
But the first thing that Irecognize is clarity.

SPEAKER_01 (01:23:04):
Yes.

SPEAKER_05 (01:23:05):
Like so if you are going to operate a lot in that
digital space, you know, maybethere is like that's hard for me
to imagine just because I didn'tgrow up in that.
And so I do a variety of thingsbut you know I don't just stick
in that one space but like canyou be clear?
How can you be clear?
And then once you establishsomething and you are on the
same page whether it's with afriend, significant other,

(01:23:26):
whatever, then not fluctuating,not saying one thing one day and
then the next day you'rechallenging whatever it was that
you just established the daybefore that would be something
respect like does each personrespect the other person's time
boundaries, what has beencommunicated?
That seemed to be pretty common,I would think would be a

(01:23:47):
building block you would needfor any relationship that's
committed is that you have arespect for one another and
you're not constantly justchallenging.
And it kind of goes back to thatlike not fluctuating but you
know if someone says they needsomething then you're not gonna
just continue to bombard themwith whatever.
I mean that happens a lot withcommunication text messages.
Somebody might be clear aboutthis is what I have time for and

(01:24:10):
not and then you just continueto overrun them and you know
respecting time I'm justthinking about significance of
still spending time with yourfriends if you are now in a new
relationship.

SPEAKER_08 (01:24:21):
Yeah we talked about that a little bit how important
that is yeah what about adaptingto understand each other?

SPEAKER_02 (01:24:28):
You talked about that Darius Adapting to
understand each other oh I thinkthat is that really takes just
being intentional especially ifit's someone that you I know
you're gonna want to be a partof your life for the foreseeable
future um learning how to adjustyou know relationships about

(01:24:49):
compromise and knowing where tocompromise and knowing how to
compromise.
Not necessarily losing yourselfbut also making space though for
the inclusion of somebody else.
Yeah it's great.
And it goes back to like he wastalking about uh respecting each
other and then um I know youtalked about him uh I mean I

(01:25:10):
know Justin made the statementlike still somewhat hanging out
with your friends uh doingdifferent things like not being
that person that puts uh notbeing that person that puts a
weight on an individual becausewell now we have this you can't
no longer because sometimesthose other spaces help them to

(01:25:30):
continue to have the flexibilityand freedom, you know, and don't
feel pressure.

SPEAKER_05 (01:25:35):
So um making the proper adjustments knowing which
I also think that early in therelationship like that I see a
lot of times too is like all ofa sudden like pressure and like
everything else is cut off.
You're not even to a point ofcommitment yet.
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (01:25:48):
So that's what would be a red flag but anyway but
it's it's but it but it's islike adjustments and even if
those adjustments are gradualover time, you know but is is
you have to realize if you'regonna be in a relationship
there's no real relationshipwithout sacrifice without giving
up some parts of yourself.

(01:26:08):
It's like you can't do whatyou've always done and you've
added another person.
It's like with with an additionthat comes adjustment.

SPEAKER_05 (01:26:16):
So yeah but I I I feel like anybody that wants a
real relationship I don't thinkadjustment will be too
challenging if you really wantto be around you're gonna find
the time to I would saysometimes I don't know if guys
are like this but I would saythere is sometimes among girls
adjusting in a way that's likenot good for their health like

(01:26:38):
they will become they might notbe this type of girl but they'll
find out what the guy wants andthen make themselves be that's
not what we're no no no no no nothat's that's no if you have to
change who you are likeliterally who you are to fit
into the mold of what somebodywants no that's not healthy.

(01:26:59):
This is like you're you're onthe path you're discovering who
you are but say you're datingsomeone who is on the basketball
team and you have to understandtheir schedule and you have to
adjust like maybe you would wantto go hang out with them on
these certain nights or go tothese places on these certain
nights but if you want to datethis basketball player you're
gonna have to take into accountthe schedule and be okay with
that and not fight with it to bemad about it.

(01:27:20):
That would be a basic example ofmaking something somebody else
now.

SPEAKER_02 (01:27:23):
Or like with me I'll I'll use this when me and
Santana was dating and I'm justsaying a minor adjustment.
Yeah she loved going to themovies.
I hated it like I'm just I'mjust I need but because I did
like her and I like to be aroundher I was willing to make a
small yeah I I'll go to the moveI'll go somewhere I don't really
want to go.

(01:27:44):
It's like compromise in a goodsense in a good sense like a
healthy compromise like it andthen it's crazy because like now
I didn't want I'm the one thatpicks out all the movies.
Let's go watch this like it'syou know but that's why like you
said it's a healthy compromisenot you fully set set like

(01:28:04):
killing who you've been as aperson for like not dead.

SPEAKER_05 (01:28:07):
No and this is really good to know because if
you're the one constantly doingthat and the other person won't
yeah that's also a good soundand probably not going to be a
healthy relationship.
Okay so goals align that's alsosomething that you see pretty
consistent in people that arecommitted you know they've
talked about or at leastunderstood like physical goals
spiritual goals careersinterests and also just the

(01:28:30):
reminder that you like youshould enjoy this person.
It shouldn't be painful andconfusing all the time if that's
the majority of the relationshipthat is not normal.

SPEAKER_08 (01:28:39):
That was probably an hour and a half discussion our
time and we got to talk.
Oh that was the biggest thingfor me and you I feel like I
feel like our goals aligned alot.

SPEAKER_05 (01:28:48):
Yeah and also can you enjoy the other person
without getting anything fromthem?
Like you're not demandinganything or there's no
conditions.
It's just like do I just simplyenjoy this person because of who
they are.
Can you do that?
And do you feel that way fromthe other person that they just
enjoy you if you never gave themanything do they just enjoy you
as a person?

SPEAKER_03 (01:29:08):
And I go ahead I was just gonna say I think that was
like one of the biggest thingswith Brett and I was like we
were just we had fun we werecomfortable with each other like
it was just no pressure right itwas just fun to be around each
other.

SPEAKER_02 (01:29:20):
Yeah and I I I was gonna say like we you talking
about that I think that that'ssomething that we sometimes
often miss for the other things.
Yeah like like what I mean islike you talking about career
goals and like sometimes we'llfocus on those aspects and you
may have a person that you havea career alignment with but you

(01:29:42):
don't like them.
Right.
Like it's like I really don'tain't nothing and I'm saying
that's nothing like being arounda couple who talk so much about
what they have done but theycan't stand around each other
for five minutes.
Like you can tell it's like it'shard for them to because they
really don't like Each other, Ithink more so like the idea, and
that was one thing that was bigfor me.

(01:30:04):
Me and S I liked Santana.
Like I could be around her withno type of agenda.
And we have fun, laugh, joke, nopress, you know, and and that's
something that was very big.
And I want to say, like you weretalking about the pressure.
Like in dating, it should not behard.
And I say that because we are ina generation and a time where

(01:30:29):
people say if it's worth having,it's worth fighting for.
And sometimes they're worthfighting for is literally
fighting for hard.
Like, no, you will havechallenges.
Sure.
But you should not have more,your good days should outweigh
your bad days.
Like literally.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:30:46):
Y'all have anything else on that?
So yeah, I was just just toclarity, be able to adapt,
respect, goals align.
Relationship should not bemajority painful and confusion,
confusing most of the time.
However, those things look, likeif I were to interview my
grandma, my mom, think about mystory, and then interview, you

(01:31:07):
know, somebody else in Gen Z,all those things are going to be
exchanged in different ways.
Like I don't know what thatlooked like.
The form of the communicationmight have changed, but those
are probably the cons at leastwhat we discussed, there's
probably more.
Um, but that's what be would bethe challenge is like what does
clarity, respect, goal setting,all these other things look like
in this generation and takingthe time to actually think about

(01:31:29):
it?
Like, what are you wanting?
Like if you're DMing guys allthe time or you're what do you
what do you actually want tocome of this?
You know, because if some ofthose actions don't, they're not
lining up with some of thesethings, they're not clear,
they're disrespectful, thoseseeds can't produce a committed
relationship.
You know, that's just I can'tsay, oh, I'll just keep doing

(01:31:52):
this and it'll become this oneday.
Like it has no capacity tobecome that.
So, you know, why are youlaughing at me?

SPEAKER_02 (01:31:58):
Well, I I guess when you said that, what do you want?
I think that that's going to bethe challenge of this generation
and generations to come to askthem like to be able to slow
down and think slow down, think,and really analyze first what do
I want, and then how is what I'mcurrently doing factoring into

(01:32:22):
what I say I want.
Because if I'm doing this andknowing the the end, the end
result of what I'm doing is notgonna get me, then we have to
have a different conversation.
Because sometimes we it's likewe say what we want, and then
and and that's why I do believethat every generation needs each
other.
Yeah.

(01:32:43):
Because every generationpreceding, like, have taught us
things.
It was things we like, man, theyout of.
Right.
But it was things that we werelike, when you look back, it's
like, no, you really should do.
Like, I'll give you somethingsmall.
Growing up, my grandfather wasvery big on us eating at the
table together.
And that was a reason that hewanted us to do.

(01:33:04):
But then over time, you startsaying, well, I get my food, I'm
gonna eat it in the room.
Right.
But this is what I'm saying.
And it's not that that is sowrong today, but you see that
certain things the families arenot as talkative to each other.
They are not as spending time.
Like, I don't even sometimes youdon't know what's going on with
a person that literally lives inthe house with me.
So I'm I'm saying that like to Ifeel like one of the challenges

(01:33:28):
of today is gonna be to sitdown, stay pace, slow yourself
down, stop, think, ask yourself,what do I really want?
Do you even really know?
Right.
Not an idea, but somethingthat's concrete.
That's what I want.
And then what am I doing as itrelates to what I say I want?

(01:33:49):
And then, and that's where Ifeel like some people, when I
believe some people, once theystart doing that, that in itself
is gonna start producing a levelof change.
Right.
And I'm even say a level ofcutting away because it's like
this is not going.

SPEAKER_05 (01:34:01):
Which I think that's what and I could take for
granted that I probably I mean,I had some ideas of that, but I
didn't have to be so probablybecause there's so much that we
inherited that were justtraditions still, and just so
much of that has changed asinformation has spread, and you
can look at what people doeverywhere.
Yeah.
Like we just didn't have accessto all of that to inform our
decisions.
It was really passed downthrough family or church or

(01:34:23):
whatever.
You didn't have so many optionsto look at.
And so I think the need for thatis like there's so much that if
I were to sit down at that time,it would have benefited me, but
I would have been like, I don'tknow, it's just the right thing.
This is what I was taught.
But that is so elusive now.
The need for it's so great.

SPEAKER_03 (01:34:39):
This is gonna be random.
Probably how many years were Imean, how many months were y'all
engaged?

SPEAKER_07 (01:34:44):
11.

SPEAKER_03 (01:34:45):
Like how about y'all?
About six, seven.
Oh my god.
How long?

SPEAKER_02 (01:34:51):
I really wouldn't even like six, seven.
Bringing that up on the podcast.
Hold on.
I say uh yeah, about six months,somewhere near.

SPEAKER_03 (01:35:02):
And there's just no right or wrong.
I've just been thinking aboutthis.
So this is something we can likecome back to later.
But we were engaged for sixweeks.
But my thinking is it is nowy'all, Brandy is very efficient.

SPEAKER_05 (01:35:14):
I just let you know what this is just I never some
life.
If you know, you know.

SPEAKER_03 (01:35:17):
I've been yeah, so I've been walking through this
with some different people.
We have I feel like we have alot of people around that are in
that in-between stage.
But when you know, and then it'slike, okay, well, now we have a
year of like this person that Iknow I'm marrying.
Sure.
Like there brings a whole newlevel of like that's just gonna
hype up the if you don't havethose clear boundaries, that's

(01:35:39):
just gonna hype up all the likethings that come with it.
Right.
So I was just curious.

SPEAKER_02 (01:35:44):
Like And I with you saying that, not just that part.
I mean, that's a layer.
Yeah.
But then I think the other layeris giving a chance to something
or someone else stepping in andsaying something.
Yeah.
Like, like I've and I'm I'm I'vebeen in spaces where people live
like this is 25 and say, yeah, Ijust got engaged, we're getting

(01:36:06):
married in March 2027.

SPEAKER_03 (01:36:09):
Like a whole year and a half.
It's like that's like I'm notknocking, but no, I don't knock
it sentences, but I'm just like,why?

SPEAKER_02 (01:36:19):
Well, but that's what I'm gonna say.
That's what I'm saying too.
I'm not knocking it either.
I guess my thing is sometimesthough, with that, you have to
look at so many differentfactors of you are giving space
and opportunity to some thingsthat for it.

SPEAKER_08 (01:36:35):
I mean, yes, and then also it's like, well, we
have this school and thisschool, we're gonna be doing
different things.
This stuff's gotta happen beforewe can actually do it
logistically, it'd be anightmare if we got married
right now.

SPEAKER_03 (01:36:43):
And that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_08 (01:36:44):
And so it's like a communication of like, you're
the one, I'm not moving, let'sget married, but we're gonna
have to wait to do it.

SPEAKER_03 (01:36:50):
No, I get that.
I mean, because I mean I gotmarried when I was still in
school.
A lot of people probably won'tdo that, or maybe their parents
don't want them to do that.

SPEAKER_05 (01:36:56):
But like sure, to me, it was just like But I think
I don't know if this is whatyou're saying, but it seems like
if you've worked so hard toestablish some boundaries in Lib
Impurity and all that stuff, andthen you give yourself all these
months and you know that it'snot like it's not as like I'm
I'm gonna get married to them,so why not?
There's a compromise.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(01:37:17):
And you've and you've worked sohard.
I look at it as like you'veworked so hard to maintain a
certain level of whateverstandard that you set for
yourselves, then it's like, ohgosh, like you know, I don't
know.
I was just curious.

SPEAKER_02 (01:37:30):
No, no, no, no, no, I'm not trying to condemn
nobody.

SPEAKER_03 (01:37:33):
Darius, your face.
This is crazy for six weeks.
Like it was probably a lot oflike, is she pregnant?
You know, like because peoplestart thinking if they're all
one in or the the otherextreme-wise.
What people is Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:37:47):
Yeah.
Well, this has been a good hang.
I'm sure that we could have alot more conversation about
this, and maybe we will.
I know that we've again wrappedup conversations at the huddle.
We're gonna just do a lot ofkind of random things over the
next few weeks as we wrap up thesemester.
But we we hope this has beenhelpful for somebody.

SPEAKER_08 (01:38:04):
Yeah.
I mean, if you're out there andyou feel like you're in a swirl,
you know, I feel likerelationships can just lead you
into a major swirl.
Put some of these things intopractice, ask some of these
questions.
Um, you don't have to live inthat swirl.
You can step away from it.
You know?
Yeah.
You can step away from it.
It doesn't have to be.

SPEAKER_05 (01:38:21):
I just there's there's probably nothing someone
could say that someone hasn'texperienced or lived.
Right.
You know, in those trustedrelationships.
So you're not alone.
So to bring it up and say, I I'mstruggling with this or I can't
get out of this, like this ishow all my relationships are
working, you know, you mightneed a new picture, you might
need someone to help you get outof that.
And it's probably not somethingthat someone's gonna think, oh

(01:38:42):
gosh, that's never happened onthe face of the planet.

SPEAKER_03 (01:38:44):
Like, no, it's probably And if it's never
happened to them, they probablyheard it or they want to help
you.
Right.

SPEAKER_05 (01:38:49):
Like they're not gonna it's especially if you're
here at Mississippi State,you're an athlete, we'll here
for you.
Yeah, we let it talk about it.
Listen, I'm probably just gonnaask you, what is it that you
want?
And I'm gonna sit there andlisten.
That's what I'm gonna startdoing.
Um, but thanks so much forlistening today.
We've had a good time, and comeback and hear us again next
week.

SPEAKER_04 (01:39:08):
Thanks for listening to the Created to Be podcast.
To learn more about FCA atMississippi State, visit
www.msufca.org and follow us onInstagram at Hale State FCA
underscore.
If you would like to become afinancial partner, visit
www.fca.org slash donate to sewinto the work God is doing
through FCA at MississippiState.

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