Can imagining success actually reduce stress in midlife—or is that just wishful thinking?
You’re not the only one who doubts simple coping skills when stress feels overwhelming.
In this episode, you’ll discover:
1. A real-life listener’s story of using the “mental movie” coping skill to calm stress before a job interview
2. How running the mental movie three times helps ease resistance and create calm
3. Why imagining success in everyday tasks like getting to bed can break the anxiety cycle in midlife
Take 15 minutes to learn a coping skill that brings your stressed brain back online—you’re worth it.
Email me at mj@mjmurrayvachon.com for your free copy of The Mental Movie
****
About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.
Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this episode, you'll discover
the simple mental shift thatwill transform your stress into
action.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, the podcast where you and
I tackle stress and anxiety inmidlife so you can stop feeling
like crap, feel more present athome, and thrive at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon a LicensedClinical Social Worker with over
(00:23):
50,000 hours of therapy sessionsand 32 years of teaching
practical science-backed mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast.
I'm excited you're here todaybecause we have one of my
favorite segments.
But MJ really where a listenershares their experience trying a
coping skill.
From Monday's episode, this timeit's the mental movie, A
(00:46):
deceptively simple way to movethrough stress by imagining
yourself doing the thing you'vebeen avoiding.
In episode 1 79, we definestress as the feeling that
something important needs to getdone, but your brain wired for
efficiency.
Yes, A little lazy, resists,especially with those tedious
(01:08):
and emotionally loaded tasks.
This is where the mental moviecomes in.
Your brain can't really tell thedifference between imagining and
doing so.
Visualizing the start of thetask gives you a jumpstart.
Does it really work?
My daughter, Abby was home for avisit and I asked her to give it
her best shot.
(01:29):
Abby, welcome to the podcast andlet's begin by telling our
listeners a little bit aboutyourself.
Guest (01:35):
I am so happy to be here, and I am currently on the search
for a job, which is what I usedfor my mental movie.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (01:42):
I wanna begin by asking you to explain
to our listeners the mentalmovie coping skill.
Guest (01:48):
The coping skill of creating a mental movie is
basically visualizing whateveryou are trying to do before
you're doing it.
To minimize some resistance.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (01:59):
What's your own relationship to
resistance?
Guest (02:03):
I think like a lot of people we feel a lot of
resistance toward many differenttasks because of our phones.
The phone has given me aninstant gratification that takes
longer to get when, you're doingsomething like cleaning your
house.
I find most things that I haveto do in life I have a level of
(02:23):
resistance toward.
I'm really good at pushingthrough that, but it's
definitely something that I haveall the time.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (02:30):
I asked you to listen to Monday's
episode and then I said just tryit and just to be clear, My kids
aren't my clients.
It's not like I've been sharingthese coping skills with you
throughout your life.
You probably hadn't even heardof this coping skill, had you?
Guest (02:47):
No, I had not heard of this coping skill.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (02:49):
Can you share with our listeners what
you did with the mental movie inyour week?
Guest (02:54):
Yes.
I had an interview that, I hadto do, but I was very nervous
prior to it, I, took somebreaths, put my feet on the
floor, and then visualized theinterview going well, and then
again, put my feet on theground, took some breaths,
visualized in a different way,going well.
They did a third time and onceagain, visualize it going well.
(03:18):
I think for me, what wasinteresting is doing it several
times because, I think myresistance to something like
this would be, well then I'm,I'm picturing the way I, I think
it should be going, but doing itmultiple times allowed me some
kind of flexibility with it.
That was really nice.
And also, I could be moreresponsive in the interview,
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (03:38):
Okay, I think that's really insightful.
One of the key parts of thiscoping skill is if you can make
yourself do it three times,magic kind of happens, and the
magic is not external.
The magic doesn't make theperson give you the job, but the
magic helps your brain move frombeing anxious and stressed to
(04:01):
being more open.
More flexible and adaptive,which will make you more
coherent.
The model that I use of memental wellness, it's our mind
is meant to be calm, alert, andpeaceful.
Now again, your not gonna besuper calm before your
interview, but we do wanna befairly peaceful and alert.
(04:23):
That's important.
Using the mental movie, notonce, not twice, but three
times, you could see your mindFeel less stress and then become
more open, more flexible, moreadaptive, more coherent.
Guest (04:38):
I think it was first just level of the volume down.
There's a lot of thoughts andenergy going on that I can't
even tell you really what theywere.
But it was distracting.
And then as I did it each time,I just felt the volume went
down.
And again, I wanna be honest, Iwas very resistant to doing
(05:00):
this.
I did not feel a hundred percentlike it would work.
The first time I was like, Idon't think this is really
helping, but I'll do it.
And then honestly, it was afterthe third time, I was like, oh,
I feel like that's helpful.
But the first time and a half Ididn't.
Feel the benefit
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (05:15):
that would be true of anything if we
stand up our back feels a littletight, probably the first
stretch isn't gonna make us moreflexible.
The second will feel a littlebetter, the third will feel a
little better.
This really is in the same vein.
How long did you run the movie?
Not long.
Guest (05:33):
I think 20 to 30 seconds.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (05:36):
I would say mine are almost never more
than 20 seconds.
So we're talking about oneminute.
Pretty.
Yeah.
Guest (05:42):
A lot less
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (05:43):
than
Guest (05:43):
screen time.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (05:44):
A lot less than screen time because
screen time is another form ofmovie, but it's a form of
distraction.
When we feel stressed aboutsomething and we're avoiding it,
the screen is a beautifulexperience of a movie from the
outside in.
Yeah.
And the mental movie is actuallya movie that starts within you
(06:07):
and moves outward.
Guest (06:08):
Like many people, I need to do this thing, But first I'm
gonna just scroll a little bit.
And it would be interesting toimplement this instead of.
I can do the phone, but I'mgonna first do the mental movie,
and my instinct would probablybe, oh, I don't need to do the
phone.
I'm gonna go do the thing I needto do.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (06:25):
Yes.
Though we often turn to ourphone for comfort.
But what happens is we don'thave control of what we see on
our phone.
We might have a littleinfluence, like, oh, I'm gonna
go to my favorite TikTok personwho has puppies.
And then on that particular day,she's like, I have terrible
news.
This puppy died.
And then you're all churned up.
When we're stressed, our bodyneeds us to do something and the
(06:49):
phone is doing something, butit's also out of our control of
where it takes us.
The mental movie.
Actually in your control ofwhere we take it.
Were you surprised that when youcreated the movie that it didn't
end up in catastrophe?
Guest (07:06):
I do think the time limit is helpful for that.
Because it didn't give myself,more space to catastrophize I
have to come up three times withhow this is going to go well,
and that creativity, I think,distracted me
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (07:22):
it's really amazing for me as a
therapist.
I have done this thousands oftimes with people and nobody at
their third running has had anegative movie.
And I think it's because we areinnately self-protective.
While stress is different thananxiety, anxiety is.
(07:43):
Something that hasn't happenedin the future or something that
we regret that happened in thepast, but stress is in the now.
The mental movie is a copingskill that we use for a stressor
that we have now, and thatstressor can be as small as I
need to get the dishes done, oras big as I have this job
interview.
(08:03):
Did you use it any other time?
I did.
Guest (08:06):
I love To fall asleep on the couch.
It's one of my favorite thingsin the world, and I wanted to
have a really good night ofsleep, so I knew that if I got
ready for bed and got my ownbed, it would be a.
Much better night of sleep.
Before that, I did do the mentalmovie once, twice, and then I
was able to do it.
That's what was interesting tome is that I didn't take as much
willpower
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (08:26):
I said on Monday's episode that that is
the number one.
Way that people that I haveworked with have applied this
coping skill, and that is to getthemselves to bed on time or for
those many, many people who arecouch surfers to get themselves
in their bed so they canactually get a quality night
sleep and not wake up with acrank in their neck.
Guest (08:49):
I think what was helpful about it is sometimes when
you're imagining a task likethat, it feels like so many
steps.
It feels like so much, eventhough it's really not, you're
just tired and it was just anice route.
Okay, this is the first thingI'm gonna do, and you just went
ahead and went for it, which Ithink was easier than imagining
the whole process.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (09:10):
If we accept what science tells us
that the brain is lazy and thebrain loves efficiency.
We all have lazy brains.
If we accept that, then weunderstand the value of a coping
skill like this that kickstartsthe brain.
And then what happens is thatthe brain kicks into efficient
mode.
And it just naturally will movethrough something you've done
(09:33):
thousands of times in your life.
Like put yourself to bed in anefficient way.
Guest (09:38):
That makes a lot of sense.
I did feel a little bit moreefficient.
What I like about it is youdon't have to go get anything.
It's easy, it's simple, but it'sreally just making yourself do
it once.
And I think for me, that's gonnabe the hack.
Just do it once.
'cause once you start to do it,then you'll want to probably do
the movie again.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (09:54):
That is so true in my experience of
working with people is that Ithink that is because the brain
loves efficiency, and second, Ijust think as humans we're
naturally resistant to doingthat, which is good for us.
If I accept, hey, I'm naturallyresistant to doing what's good
for myself, and here's a hack,then.
(10:15):
We can have a lot more agency inbeing able to get ourselves to
do what we want, which thenactually helps us to have a lot
more time to be able to dothings that are fun.
Guest (10:29):
It is so easy to waste time in those in-between periods
of resistance, and you're noteven really enjoying yourself.
It's almost like more likeyou're enjoying the, I got away
with this, right?
These 20 minutes I was supposedto be doing this, but I really
should be doing this and you'renot really relaxing or
decompressing.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (10:47):
I want to slay resistance because I think
resistance is the thief of joy.
I love The concept of what wouldyour life be like if you tackled
resistance.
Guest (11:01):
I really agree with that.
There are so many things wewanna do every day, and it's
just so easy for me personallyto feel like I can't do all of
those things or really have thetime when I probably do.
It's just that.
Initial resistance at thebeginning.
The examples I gave you werethings either I knew I had to
do, like I'm not gonna not go tothe interview, right?
(11:23):
Or.
Pretty quick task.
Get ready for bed.
I'm a person who I can beincredibly detail oriented.
Because of that, I sometimeswill not want to do something
because of the amount of time itwill take.
An example of this is When Iclean floors, I can see things
that probably the average personcan't see because I am really
(11:44):
detailed.
A 30 minute job could be an hourjob for me.
What would you say to someonelike that when their resistance
is really the amount of timethat they're willing to put into
something?
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (11:54):
I would say run the mental movie.
Run the mental movie, and seeyourself cleaning the floors
with.
A spirit that is a little lessintense.
My hunch would be having donethis with lots of people is the
second or third movie they'reactually putting on music that
helps them not get so intense.
(12:15):
They're not playing the themesong from Gladiator.
They're playing something fromSesame Street or, I don't know,
I music share department, notmine.
Yeah.
Run the mental movie with thatintention.
And resistance and avoidance isall of us not being grounded in
being present and not havingintention.
(12:37):
Sometimes I think when we hearthe word intention, we zone out
because there's this whole speakin the big culture of, visualize
that you are going to climb thismountain or you're gonna make$4
million, that is great if peoplewanna do it.
I just don't live in thatsphere.
(12:58):
I'm just trying to get throughmy day feeling happy and
peaceful and calm.
Mental wellness is going throughyour day with a spirit.
That's buoyant.
A spirit that's attentive, aspirit that is uplifted, whether
you're cleaning the floors ordoing an interview.
(13:18):
Now, that isn't always possible,but if we don't have the
intention of loosen up and don'ttake it so seriously and run a
mental movie of doing the floorswith a lighter spirit, then it
won't happen.
Guest (13:34):
The, the music is a really good trick too.
And the intention, you know, Iwill be honest, when you said
intention initially, I cringed alittle bit.
'cause I think of the kind ofwoo, like my intention is to
clean the floor with, it'ssomething that feels very, not
tangible, but if the intentionis to be able to get this done
so I can go do some other thingstoday too, or just get it done
(13:56):
in 30 minutes, I actually startto plan it a little better, I
think is part of it.
And the task does become alittle smaller.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (14:03):
That is a very key part of resistance.
Often our resistance without themental movie, we have this
subliminal backstory going thatwhatever we're doing is so big.
When I thought about on a Sundaymorning having to do my billing,
(14:23):
that felt oppressive?
And when I ran the mental movie,I realized, oh, I just had to
deposit checks and I literallylaughed at myself.
And that's the spirit of themental movie.
Making everything bigger than itis to right sizing it with a
lighter spirit.
I use this easily two or threetimes a day.
(14:46):
I have almost no resistanceanymore in my life where I used
to have a lot.
But what's really lovely is Ialmost always am laughing at
myself Who resists putting moneyin the bank?
In this episode, I wanna thankyou, Abby, a real life listener
for trying the mental movie andreally making it come to life
(15:06):
for our listeners and sharinghow you used it, but also
sharing your questions about it.
If you'd like a PDF of thisprocess, send me an email at
mj@mjmurrayvachon.com.
I'll put that email in the shownotes and I will send you for
free this super helpful copingskill.
(15:29):
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Monday with more
Creating Midlife Calm.
In this episode, you'll discover
the simple mental shift thatwill transform your stress into
action.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, the podcast where you and
I tackle stress and anxiety inmidlife so you can stop feeling
like crap, feel more present athome, and thrive at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon a LicensedClinical Social Worker with over
(00:23):
50,000 hours of therapy sessionsand 32 years of teaching
practical science-backed mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast.
I'm excited you're here todaybecause we have one of my
favorite segments.
But MJ really where a listenershares their experience trying a
coping skill.
From Monday's episode, this timeit's the mental movie, A
(00:46):
deceptively simple way to movethrough stress by imagining
yourself doing the thing you'vebeen avoiding.
In episode 1 79, we definestress as the feeling that
something important needs to getdone, but your brain wired for
efficiency.
Yes, A little lazy, resists,especially with those tedious
(01:08):
and emotionally loaded tasks.
This is where the mental moviecomes in.
Your brain can't really tell thedifference between imagining and
doing so.
Visualizing the start of thetask gives you a jumpstart.
Does it really work?
My daughter, Abby was home for avisit and I asked her to give it
her best shot.
(01:29):
Abby, welcome to the podcast andlet's begin by telling our
listeners a little bit aboutyourself.
Guest (01:35):
I am so happy to be here, and I am currently on the search
for a job, which is what I usedfor my mental movie.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (01:42):
I wanna begin by asking you to explain
to our listeners the mentalmovie coping skill.
Guest (01:48):
The coping skill of creating a mental movie is
basically visualizing whateveryou are trying to do before
you're doing it.
To minimize some resistance.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (01:59):
What's your own relationship to
resistance?
Guest (02:03):
I think like a lot of people we feel a lot of
resistance toward many differenttasks because of our phones.
The phone has given me aninstant gratification that takes
longer to get when, you're doingsomething like cleaning your
house.
I find most things that I haveto do in life I have a level of
(02:23):
resistance toward.
I'm really good at pushingthrough that, but it's
definitely something that I haveall the time.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (02:30):
I asked you to listen to Monday's
episode and then I said just tryit and just to be clear, My kids
aren't my clients.
It's not like I've been sharingthese coping skills with you
throughout your life.
You probably hadn't even heardof this coping skill, had you?
Guest (02:47):
No, I had not heard of this coping skill.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (02:49):
Can you share with our listeners what
you did with the mental movie inyour week?
Guest (02:54):
Yes.
I had an interview that, I hadto do, but I was very nervous
prior to it, I, took somebreaths, put my feet on the
floor, and then visualized theinterview going well, and then
again, put my feet on theground, took some breaths,
visualized in a different way,going well.
They did a third time and onceagain, visualize it going well.
(03:18):
I think for me, what wasinteresting is doing it several
times because, I think myresistance to something like
this would be, well then I'm,I'm picturing the way I, I think
it should be going, but doing itmultiple times allowed me some
kind of flexibility with it.
That was really nice.
And also, I could be moreresponsive in the interview,
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (03:38):
Okay, I think that's really insightful.
One of the key parts of thiscoping skill is if you can make
yourself do it three times,magic kind of happens, and the
magic is not external.
The magic doesn't make theperson give you the job, but the
magic helps your brain move frombeing anxious and stressed to
(04:01):
being more open.
More flexible and adaptive,which will make you more
coherent.
The model that I use of memental wellness, it's our mind
is meant to be calm, alert, andpeaceful.
Now again, your not gonna besuper calm before your
interview, but we do wanna befairly peaceful and alert.
(04:23):
That's important.
Using the mental movie, notonce, not twice, but three
times, you could see your mindFeel less stress and then become
more open, more flexible, moreadaptive, more coherent.
Guest (04:38):
I think it was first just level of the volume down.
There's a lot of thoughts andenergy going on that I can't
even tell you really what theywere.
But it was distracting.
And then as I did it each time,I just felt the volume went
down.
And again, I wanna be honest, Iwas very resistant to doing
(05:00):
this.
I did not feel a hundred percentlike it would work.
The first time I was like, Idon't think this is really
helping, but I'll do it.
And then honestly, it was afterthe third time, I was like, oh,
I feel like that's helpful.
But the first time and a half Ididn't.
Feel the benefit
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (05:15):
that would be true of anything if we
stand up our back feels a littletight, probably the first
stretch isn't gonna make us moreflexible.
The second will feel a littlebetter, the third will feel a
little better.
This really is in the same vein.
How long did you run the movie?
Not long.
Guest (05:33):
I think 20 to 30 seconds.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (05:36):
I would say mine are almost never more
than 20 seconds.
So we're talking about oneminute.
Pretty.
Yeah.
Guest (05:42):
A lot less
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (05:43):
than
Guest (05:43):
screen time.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (05:44):
A lot less than screen time because
screen time is another form ofmovie, but it's a form of
distraction.
When we feel stressed aboutsomething and we're avoiding it,
the screen is a beautifulexperience of a movie from the
outside in.
Yeah.
And the mental movie is actuallya movie that starts within you
(06:07):
and moves outward.
Guest (06:08):
Like many people, I need to do this thing, But first I'm
gonna just scroll a little bit.
And it would be interesting toimplement this instead of.
I can do the phone, but I'mgonna first do the mental movie,
and my instinct would probablybe, oh, I don't need to do the
phone.
I'm gonna go do the thing I needto do.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (06:25):
Yes.
Though we often turn to ourphone for comfort.
But what happens is we don'thave control of what we see on
our phone.
We might have a littleinfluence, like, oh, I'm gonna
go to my favorite TikTok personwho has puppies.
And then on that particular day,she's like, I have terrible
news.
This puppy died.
And then you're all churned up.
When we're stressed, our bodyneeds us to do something and the
(06:49):
phone is doing something, butit's also out of our control of
where it takes us.
The mental movie.
Actually in your control ofwhere we take it.
Were you surprised that when youcreated the movie that it didn't
end up in catastrophe?
Guest (07:06):
I do think the time limit is helpful for that.
Because it didn't give myself,more space to catastrophize I
have to come up three times withhow this is going to go well,
and that creativity, I think,distracted me
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (07:22):
it's really amazing for me as a
therapist.
I have done this thousands oftimes with people and nobody at
their third running has had anegative movie.
And I think it's because we areinnately self-protective.
While stress is different thananxiety, anxiety is.
(07:43):
Something that hasn't happenedin the future or something that
we regret that happened in thepast, but stress is in the now.
The mental movie is a copingskill that we use for a stressor
that we have now, and thatstressor can be as small as I
need to get the dishes done, oras big as I have this job
interview.
(08:03):
Did you use it any other time?
I did.
Guest (08:06):
I love To fall asleep on the couch.
It's one of my favorite thingsin the world, and I wanted to
have a really good night ofsleep, so I knew that if I got
ready for bed and got my ownbed, it would be a.
Much better night of sleep.
Before that, I did do the mentalmovie once, twice, and then I
was able to do it.
That's what was interesting tome is that I didn't take as much
willpower
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (08:26):
I said on Monday's episode that that is
the number one.
Way that people that I haveworked with have applied this
coping skill, and that is to getthemselves to bed on time or for
those many, many people who arecouch surfers to get themselves
in their bed so they canactually get a quality night
sleep and not wake up with acrank in their neck.
Guest (08:49):
I think what was helpful about it is sometimes when
you're imagining a task likethat, it feels like so many
steps.
It feels like so much, eventhough it's really not, you're
just tired and it was just anice route.
Okay, this is the first thingI'm gonna do, and you just went
ahead and went for it, which Ithink was easier than imagining
the whole process.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (09:10):
If we accept what science tells us
that the brain is lazy and thebrain loves efficiency.
We all have lazy brains.
If we accept that, then weunderstand the value of a coping
skill like this that kickstartsthe brain.
And then what happens is thatthe brain kicks into efficient
mode.
And it just naturally will movethrough something you've done
(09:33):
thousands of times in your life.
Like put yourself to bed in anefficient way.
Guest (09:38):
That makes a lot of sense.
I did feel a little bit moreefficient.
What I like about it is youdon't have to go get anything.
It's easy, it's simple, but it'sreally just making yourself do
it once.
And I think for me, that's gonnabe the hack.
Just do it once.
'cause once you start to do it,then you'll want to probably do
the movie again.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (09:54):
That is so true in my experience of
working with people is that Ithink that is because the brain
loves efficiency, and second, Ijust think as humans we're
naturally resistant to doingthat, which is good for us.
If I accept, hey, I'm naturallyresistant to doing what's good
for myself, and here's a hack,then.
(10:15):
We can have a lot more agency inbeing able to get ourselves to
do what we want, which thenactually helps us to have a lot
more time to be able to dothings that are fun.
Guest (10:29):
It is so easy to waste time in those in-between periods
of resistance, and you're noteven really enjoying yourself.
It's almost like more likeyou're enjoying the, I got away
with this, right?
These 20 minutes I was supposedto be doing this, but I really
should be doing this and you'renot really relaxing or
decompressing.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (10:47):
I want to slay resistance because I think
resistance is the thief of joy.
I love The concept of what wouldyour life be like if you tackled
resistance.
Guest (11:01):
I really agree with that.
There are so many things wewanna do every day, and it's
just so easy for me personallyto feel like I can't do all of
those things or really have thetime when I probably do.
It's just that.
Initial resistance at thebeginning.
The examples I gave you werethings either I knew I had to
do, like I'm not gonna not go tothe interview, right?
(11:23):
Or.
Pretty quick task.
Get ready for bed.
I'm a person who I can beincredibly detail oriented.
Because of that, I sometimeswill not want to do something
because of the amount of time itwill take.
An example of this is When Iclean floors, I can see things
that probably the average personcan't see because I am really
(11:44):
detailed.
A 30 minute job could be an hourjob for me.
What would you say to someonelike that when their resistance
is really the amount of timethat they're willing to put into
something?
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (11:54):
I would say run the mental movie.
Run the mental movie, and seeyourself cleaning the floors
with.
A spirit that is a little lessintense.
My hunch would be having donethis with lots of people is the
second or third movie they'reactually putting on music that
helps them not get so intense.
(12:15):
They're not playing the themesong from Gladiator.
They're playing something fromSesame Street or, I don't know,
I music share department, notmine.
Yeah.
Run the mental movie with thatintention.
And resistance and avoidance isall of us not being grounded in
being present and not havingintention.
(12:37):
Sometimes I think when we hearthe word intention, we zone out
because there's this whole speakin the big culture of, visualize
that you are going to climb thismountain or you're gonna make$4
million, that is great if peoplewanna do it.
I just don't live in thatsphere.
(12:58):
I'm just trying to get throughmy day feeling happy and
peaceful and calm.
Mental wellness is going throughyour day with a spirit.
That's buoyant.
A spirit that's attentive, aspirit that is uplifted, whether
you're cleaning the floors ordoing an interview.
(13:18):
Now, that isn't always possible,but if we don't have the
intention of loosen up and don'ttake it so seriously and run a
mental movie of doing the floorswith a lighter spirit, then it
won't happen.
Guest (13:34):
The, the music is a really good trick too.
And the intention, you know, Iwill be honest, when you said
intention initially, I cringed alittle bit.
'cause I think of the kind ofwoo, like my intention is to
clean the floor with, it'ssomething that feels very, not
tangible, but if the intentionis to be able to get this done
so I can go do some other thingstoday too, or just get it done
(13:56):
in 30 minutes, I actually startto plan it a little better, I
think is part of it.
And the task does become alittle smaller.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (14:03):
That is a very key part of resistance.
Often our resistance without themental movie, we have this
subliminal backstory going thatwhatever we're doing is so big.
When I thought about on a Sundaymorning having to do my billing,
(14:23):
that felt oppressive?
And when I ran the mental movie,I realized, oh, I just had to
deposit checks and I literallylaughed at myself.
And that's the spirit of themental movie.
Making everything bigger than itis to right sizing it with a
lighter spirit.
I use this easily two or threetimes a day.
(14:46):
I have almost no resistanceanymore in my life where I used
to have a lot.
But what's really lovely is Ialmost always am laughing at
myself Who resists putting moneyin the bank?
In this episode, I wanna thankyou, Abby, a real life listener
for trying the mental movie andreally making it come to life
(15:06):
for our listeners and sharinghow you used it, but also
sharing your questions about it.
If you'd like a PDF of thisprocess, send me an email at
mj@mjmurrayvachon.com.
I'll put that email in the shownotes and I will send you for
free this super helpful copingskill.
(15:29):
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Monday with more
Creating Midlife Calm.
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