Have you ever felt the gut punch of watching your child face rejection—whether from a dream school, a job, or an opportunity they worked so hard for?
For midlife parents, March brings more than blooming flowers—it’s also a season of tough decisions and, for many, painful rejections.
In this episode, you’ll discover
1. Three essential coping strategies to help your child process rejection in a healthy way.
2. What NOT to do when your child faces disappointment—and how to avoid common parental missteps that make your child feel WORSE when facing rejection
3. A powerful real-life story of resilience that proves rejection can be a stepping stone to growth, not a roadblock.
Press play now to learn how to turn rejection into an opportunity for growth—and give your child the lifelong gift of resilience, confidence, and self-trust.
****
About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.
Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this episode, you'll discover three
powerful strategies to help yourchild navigate rejection, grow
resilience, and regainconfidence after big
disappointments.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, a podcast dedicated to
empowering midlife minds toovercome anxiety, stop feeling
like crap and become morepresent with your family, all
(00:21):
while achieving greater successat work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensedclinical social worker with over
48, 000 hours of therapysessions and 31 years of
experience teaching mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast.
It's March, a season for freshstarts, blooming flowers, and
for many midlife parents, theheartbreak of rejection.
(00:44):
Have you ever watched your childopen an email, their face full
of hope, only to see theirexpression fall as they read the
words, we regret to inform you.
If you have, you know that thatrejection isn't just theirs.
It's yours too.
For high school and collegeseniors, March Madness isn't
just about basketball.
(01:05):
It's about college and jobdecisions.
And you, dear parent, have beenassigned an unpaid, high stakes
role, helping your childnavigate these disappointments.
You can do it.
By the end of this episode, I'mgoing to give you a three part
game plan to support your childthrough this rejection in a way
that builds resilience,confidence, emotional strength,
(01:29):
and a closer connection withyou, their biggest cheerleader.
As always, I'll end with aninner challenge, something you
can start today to help easeyour anxiety.
Before we dive into what to do,let's start with what not to do.
Let's be honest.
This is hard.
And when things are hard, youmight react unintentionally in
(01:51):
ways that don't really help.
Think about it.
Have you ever done or beentempted to do any of these
things?
Minimize your child's pain bysaying, Oh, you'll be fine.
It's no big deal.
Overreacting.
This is a disaster.
We need to appeal that decision.
Comparing them to others.
Your cousin got into thatschool.
(02:12):
How could you not have gottenin?
Jumping straight to problemsolving.
Okay, we are going to figure outplan B.
Let's look at transfer options.
Personally, plan B, that's myfavorite.
These reactions come from love,but they don't give your kids
what they really need.
Let's shift gears and let's talkabout what will help your child
(02:33):
navigate through this rejection.
Coping skill number one, prepareyourself first.
Before these decision emailsroll in, take time to mentally
prepare.
I want you to take a minute Andimagine the worst case scenario.
Your child doesn't get intotheir dream school or land that
job.
(02:54):
Just take 20 seconds right nowand let yourself imagine that.
I'm actually recording this inthe same room that my child sat
in when he opened the email fromhis dream college.
And it said, thanks.
(03:16):
But no thanks.
if you're like me, your heartsinks, maybe your stomach
clenches, and you're holdingyour breath.
Yes, this rejection that yourchild experiences, you will also
experience.
Think of how much time, effort,and love you've put into this
(03:36):
child, hoping that anything thatthey went after would be theirs.
Of course, you're disappointed.
So prepare yourself first bynoticing, naming, and taming
your feelings.
Are you anxious, defensive,pissed, heartbroken?
Recognizing your emotions willremind you to ground your feet,
(04:00):
take some breaths, and staycalm.
Help your mind get clear afteryour emotions flood it.
After you do that, then you moveto aim, notice, name, tame, and
aim.
And in this situation, thequestion that you want to answer
in aim is how do I want to showup for my child in this moment?
(04:24):
Now, I hope you don't have thismoment, but if you have this
moment, it is going to be sohelpful for you to just take a
few seconds right now and askyourself, how do I want to be
there for them?
What does your best self looklike?
What words will help your childfeel safe?
(04:44):
What words should you avoid?
By preparing yourself, you'regoing to set the tone for how
your child will handle their owndisappointment.
And that leads to coping skillnumber two.
How do you sit with your child'sgrief without trying to fix it?
let me share with you one of thehardest parenting moments.
(05:05):
I have ever had.
Years ago, my daughter wasapplying to musical theater
programs, a brutally competitiveprocess.
She had worked with an actingcoach who was also a department
chair at a theater school.
He encouraged her to do an earlyaudition at a smaller program,
calling it a shoe we drove to alittle school in the middle of a
(05:26):
cornfield.
We walked in, and I immediatelynoticed that she looked quite
different than all the otherkids.
She had on a dress.,Professional headshots, a binder
full of music.
The others were far more casual.
She sang, danced, nailed hermonologue, and felt fantastic
(05:46):
about the whole experience.
We waited because they wereposting the acceptance list
later that day.
The list came out and she wasn'ton it.
Soon, a second list came out forvocal performance and there she
was, accepted for something shehadn't even applied for and had
(06:07):
no desire to study.
Because she's an actress, sheheld it together until we got in
the car, and then she cried forfive, yes, five straight hours.
I sat next to her, completelyunprepared.
I know nothing about musicaltheater.
(06:27):
And this was supposed to be hersure thing in an unpredictable
process.
So we drove and she cried.
We drove and she cried.
We drove and she cried.
I just held her hand and staredout the window.
I truly had no clue what to say.
(06:48):
Had we been home, I amabsolutely sure I would have
gone into fix it mode, done thedishes, made dinner, anything to
distract myself from feelinghelpless.
But in that car, I was trappedwith her grief, and looking
back, that was exactly what sheneeded.
By the time we got home, she hadcried it all out.
(07:11):
She turned to me and she said,Well, I guess I need to redo my
audition package.
It obviously sucks.
Then I realized, Oh my God, Igot lucky.
Being stuck in that car.
Forced me to be with heremotions.
dismissive.
Like what?
There'll be other schools.
I think you were just too goodfor them.
(07:33):
You don't want to go to a schoolin a cornfield anyways.
I just kept repeating, I'm sosorry.
You worked so hard.
And that was enough.
As the days went on, I learnedtwo things.
Because her dad and I couldn'tescape the intensity of
rejection that she felt, I thinkwe said to her, you can do this
(07:57):
and you're not alone.
Because we stayed with her.
She was able to do the big bellcurve of emotion where you move
through it and then you come tosome mental clarity.
And it was in that moment whenshe said, I need to retool my
audition package.
(08:17):
Which she did, into her firstchoice.
I learned something about this18 year old that I didn't fully
understand.
She wanted this so badly thatthe rejection didn't break her.
It actually made her morefocused.
It made her try harder.
And in a profession where youaudition constantly and
(08:39):
rejection happens far more thansuccess, this was an essential
skill for her future, andwithout realizing it, she had
just passed this test, Whichleads me to the third coping
skill of navigating your child'sreaction to their rejection.
Let's face it.
(08:59):
If you're in midlife, you're twoor three times older than your
child.
You will have a much quickermind, many more options for what
they can do with the rejection.
I want to talk about whathappens after the initial
heartache and encourage you torestrain yourself from all these
(09:19):
possibilities that could fix itand allow your child to find
their own way.
This is so challenging to do asa parent.
I once had a client who was thefirst in his family in
generations to not get into anIvy League school.
He was so devastated.
He called for an emergencyappointment.
(09:41):
He sat down and he said I'm notgoing to college.
Obviously, it's not for me.
His parents had actually done areally good job letting him
grieve, but now they werepanicked.
He was saying, if I can't go toan Ivy, it's not worth it.
At that moment, I didn't pushback.
Instead, I looked at him and Isaid, well, of course, not going
(10:05):
to college is a legitimateoption.
I reminded him that 60 percentof the people in the United
States don't have a collegedegree.
There are many, many paths inadulthood to have a good,
honorable, and fun life.
That was all it took.
He launched into a storm ofpossibilities.
Well, maybe I'll go to tradeschool.
(10:26):
I've always loved making thingswith my hands.
Or I heard about a kid whoworked on this ranch for a year.
That sounds amazing.
Or maybe I'll start my ownbusiness.
I have an idea that I haven'ttold anybody.
I can't tell you because I thinkthese are all really good
options.
And then, as often happens inteenager land, Something I
(10:48):
couldn't have anticipatedhappened.
He went to school and he beganto talk to his friends that he
might not go to college.
And they all began to brainstormwith him.
Fantastic ideas.
You could be an au pair inEurope.
You could go to Alaska and be asalmon fisher.
I have an uncle who lives inRome.
He'd probably love to have youcome and be his apprentice.
(11:11):
He came back to his next sessionenergized, but also with a much
broader view of possibilities.
Unfortunately, he was freakinghis parents out and I received
an email from his dad saying,Who the heck are you to be
encouraging my kid to not go tocollege?
I had his parents come into myoffice the next day and I
(11:34):
explained.
He isn't quitting going tocollege.
He is taking back his power.
Think about it.
Since this kid's been in sixthor seventh grade, he had his eye
on the prize.
He worked so hard to get into anIvy League school and it didn't
work out.
There were many options that henever considered because there
(11:55):
was one path in his mind andthat path didn't work out for
him.
And now what he's doing isn'trejecting college.
He's actually stepping into hisown power and trying other
things out that he neverconsidered because he only saw
one path for his future.
The mom looked at me and said,Oh, so he's not quitting, but
(12:17):
he's taking back his power.
But can you assure us he'll goto college?
Of course, I can't assure youhe'll go to college.
Just like, I couldn't assure youthat he'd get into an Ivy, but
what I can assure you is this isa fine human being with many
talents, and one of the thingsthat we do when we feel rejected
(12:38):
is we kind of like to reject,and he is rejecting it.
But not in a destructive way.
In a healthy, curious, and youcan see his positive energy is
coming back.
And isn't it fascinating thathis friends are joining him in
this.
They are helping him to revisionhis future.
(13:01):
They know how disappointed heis, but they know what a great
kid he is.
This is difficult.
He's got to navigate therejection.
You can't do that for him.
Your only job is to say to him,we believe in you.
We trust you.
But for our peace of mind, so wecan sleep at night, can you
(13:22):
accept my request?
one of the schools that you wereadmitted to, just so you still
have that option as you movethrough this process.
Think about it.
The Ivies might have rejectedhim, but his parents are not
rejecting him.
And in the end, that is whatgives a kid stability.
(13:42):
That is what gives a kid selfconfidence that my parents trust
me.
to find my way.
Then he started dating a girlfrom work and one night he went
over to her house and her dadwas an electrician.
He began to ask his dad aboutwhat it was like to be an
electrician.
He listened to the dad's story,and then the dad said, What are
(14:05):
you going to do next year?
And he shared his story with thedad.
The dad listened intently, andthen the dad said to him, Wait a
second.
You got into three colleges, andbecause none of them are Ivy's,
you're not going to go tocollege?
Kid, you'd hate being anelectrician.
You'd be so frustrated becausethis job is all about adapting
(14:28):
when things don't go as planned.
Maybe you should go work on thatranch.
The clean air, physicalexercise, that actually sounds
great.
In that moment, he pulled outhis phone and he typed this
line, which he brought to hisnext session.
I can adapt or I can escape.
If we stay with our kids and letthem navigate rejection, what we
(14:52):
often see is a very powerfulprocess that unfolds that is
unique to them.
This young man learned aboutadapting.
When we talk about mentalwellness, rigidity is I can only
be at an Ivy League school.
Chaos is I'm not going if theydon't accept me.
But mental wellness is flexibleand adaptive and coherent.
(15:17):
He adapted and he went to one ofthe state schools that fall.
If you want to learn more aboutmy model for mental wellness,
check out episodes 130 and 131Your child's journey will not be
a straight line.
Part of you will want the safeand predictable path, but the
other part will grow into thereality that resilience comes
(15:41):
from uncertainty.
The job of a teenager is toanswer the question, who am I?
Successes help them define whothey are, but so do failures.
What you want to give your childwhen the no's come is this deep
sense that I trust that you canmove through this no in not only
(16:02):
a healthy way, but in a way thatat the end of it you will come
to know yourself in a moreauthentic loving and productive
way.
Your inner challenge this weekis to pay attention.
How do you respond when someoneyou love faces disappointment?
Do you rush in to fix it?
(16:23):
Do you distract?
Or are you really good at justbeing with them?
Remember, rejection is reallypainful, but it's also a
stepping stone to resilience,self awareness, and finding
doors that you didn't know couldever open for you.
Your child will find their way,and your trust in them will be
(16:45):
one of the most powerful giftsyou can give them.
I'll be back on Thursday to talkabout the most challenging part
of college, and that is payingfor it.
How to navigate theseconversations with your children
that help them step in to thenext level of emerging
adulthood.
(17:08):
Thanks for listening to CreatingMidlife Calm.
In this episode, you'll discover three
powerful strategies to help yourchild navigate rejection, grow
resilience, and regainconfidence after big
disappointments.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, a podcast dedicated to
empowering midlife minds toovercome anxiety, stop feeling
like crap and become morepresent with your family, all
(00:21):
while achieving greater successat work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensedclinical social worker with over
48, 000 hours of therapysessions and 31 years of
experience teaching mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast.
It's March, a season for freshstarts, blooming flowers, and
for many midlife parents, theheartbreak of rejection.
(00:44):
Have you ever watched your childopen an email, their face full
of hope, only to see theirexpression fall as they read the
words, we regret to inform you.
If you have, you know that thatrejection isn't just theirs.
It's yours too.
For high school and collegeseniors, March Madness isn't
just about basketball.
(01:05):
It's about college and jobdecisions.
And you, dear parent, have beenassigned an unpaid, high stakes
role, helping your childnavigate these disappointments.
You can do it.
By the end of this episode, I'mgoing to give you a three part
game plan to support your childthrough this rejection in a way
that builds resilience,confidence, emotional strength,
(01:29):
and a closer connection withyou, their biggest cheerleader.
As always, I'll end with aninner challenge, something you
can start today to help easeyour anxiety.
Before we dive into what to do,let's start with what not to do.
Let's be honest.
This is hard.
And when things are hard, youmight react unintentionally in
(01:51):
ways that don't really help.
Think about it.
Have you ever done or beentempted to do any of these
things?
Minimize your child's pain bysaying, Oh, you'll be fine.
It's no big deal.
Overreacting.
This is a disaster.
We need to appeal that decision.
Comparing them to others.
Your cousin got into thatschool.
(02:12):
How could you not have gottenin?
Jumping straight to problemsolving.
Okay, we are going to figure outplan B.
Let's look at transfer options.
Personally, plan B, that's myfavorite.
These reactions come from love,but they don't give your kids
what they really need.
Let's shift gears and let's talkabout what will help your child
(02:33):
navigate through this rejection.
Coping skill number one, prepareyourself first.
Before these decision emailsroll in, take time to mentally
prepare.
I want you to take a minute Andimagine the worst case scenario.
Your child doesn't get intotheir dream school or land that
job.
(02:54):
Just take 20 seconds right nowand let yourself imagine that.
I'm actually recording this inthe same room that my child sat
in when he opened the email fromhis dream college.
And it said, thanks.
(03:16):
But no thanks.
if you're like me, your heartsinks, maybe your stomach
clenches, and you're holdingyour breath.
Yes, this rejection that yourchild experiences, you will also
experience.
Think of how much time, effort,and love you've put into this
(03:36):
child, hoping that anything thatthey went after would be theirs.
Of course, you're disappointed.
So prepare yourself first bynoticing, naming, and taming
your feelings.
Are you anxious, defensive,pissed, heartbroken?
Recognizing your emotions willremind you to ground your feet,
(04:00):
take some breaths, and staycalm.
Help your mind get clear afteryour emotions flood it.
After you do that, then you moveto aim, notice, name, tame, and
aim.
And in this situation, thequestion that you want to answer
in aim is how do I want to showup for my child in this moment?
(04:24):
Now, I hope you don't have thismoment, but if you have this
moment, it is going to be sohelpful for you to just take a
few seconds right now and askyourself, how do I want to be
there for them?
What does your best self looklike?
What words will help your childfeel safe?
(04:44):
What words should you avoid?
By preparing yourself, you'regoing to set the tone for how
your child will handle their owndisappointment.
And that leads to coping skillnumber two.
How do you sit with your child'sgrief without trying to fix it?
let me share with you one of thehardest parenting moments.
(05:05):
I have ever had.
Years ago, my daughter wasapplying to musical theater
programs, a brutally competitiveprocess.
She had worked with an actingcoach who was also a department
chair at a theater school.
He encouraged her to do an earlyaudition at a smaller program,
calling it a shoe we drove to alittle school in the middle of a
(05:26):
cornfield.
We walked in, and I immediatelynoticed that she looked quite
different than all the otherkids.
She had on a dress.,Professional headshots, a binder
full of music.
The others were far more casual.
She sang, danced, nailed hermonologue, and felt fantastic
(05:46):
about the whole experience.
We waited because they wereposting the acceptance list
later that day.
The list came out and she wasn'ton it.
Soon, a second list came out forvocal performance and there she
was, accepted for something shehadn't even applied for and had
(06:07):
no desire to study.
Because she's an actress, sheheld it together until we got in
the car, and then she cried forfive, yes, five straight hours.
I sat next to her, completelyunprepared.
I know nothing about musicaltheater.
(06:27):
And this was supposed to be hersure thing in an unpredictable
process.
So we drove and she cried.
We drove and she cried.
We drove and she cried.
I just held her hand and staredout the window.
I truly had no clue what to say.
(06:48):
Had we been home, I amabsolutely sure I would have
gone into fix it mode, done thedishes, made dinner, anything to
distract myself from feelinghelpless.
But in that car, I was trappedwith her grief, and looking
back, that was exactly what sheneeded.
By the time we got home, she hadcried it all out.
(07:11):
She turned to me and she said,Well, I guess I need to redo my
audition package.
It obviously sucks.
Then I realized, Oh my God, Igot lucky.
Being stuck in that car.
Forced me to be with heremotions.
dismissive.
Like what?
There'll be other schools.
I think you were just too goodfor them.
(07:33):
You don't want to go to a schoolin a cornfield anyways.
I just kept repeating, I'm sosorry.
You worked so hard.
And that was enough.
As the days went on, I learnedtwo things.
Because her dad and I couldn'tescape the intensity of
rejection that she felt, I thinkwe said to her, you can do this
(07:57):
and you're not alone.
Because we stayed with her.
She was able to do the big bellcurve of emotion where you move
through it and then you come tosome mental clarity.
And it was in that moment whenshe said, I need to retool my
audition package.
(08:17):
Which she did, into her firstchoice.
I learned something about this18 year old that I didn't fully
understand.
She wanted this so badly thatthe rejection didn't break her.
It actually made her morefocused.
It made her try harder.
And in a profession where youaudition constantly and
(08:39):
rejection happens far more thansuccess, this was an essential
skill for her future, andwithout realizing it, she had
just passed this test, Whichleads me to the third coping
skill of navigating your child'sreaction to their rejection.
Let's face it.
(08:59):
If you're in midlife, you're twoor three times older than your
child.
You will have a much quickermind, many more options for what
they can do with the rejection.
I want to talk about whathappens after the initial
heartache and encourage you torestrain yourself from all these
(09:19):
possibilities that could fix itand allow your child to find
their own way.
This is so challenging to do asa parent.
I once had a client who was thefirst in his family in
generations to not get into anIvy League school.
He was so devastated.
He called for an emergencyappointment.
(09:41):
He sat down and he said I'm notgoing to college.
Obviously, it's not for me.
His parents had actually done areally good job letting him
grieve, but now they werepanicked.
He was saying, if I can't go toan Ivy, it's not worth it.
At that moment, I didn't pushback.
Instead, I looked at him and Isaid, well, of course, not going
(10:05):
to college is a legitimateoption.
I reminded him that 60 percentof the people in the United
States don't have a collegedegree.
There are many, many paths inadulthood to have a good,
honorable, and fun life.
That was all it took.
He launched into a storm ofpossibilities.
Well, maybe I'll go to tradeschool.
(10:26):
I've always loved making thingswith my hands.
Or I heard about a kid whoworked on this ranch for a year.
That sounds amazing.
Or maybe I'll start my ownbusiness.
I have an idea that I haven'ttold anybody.
I can't tell you because I thinkthese are all really good
options.
And then, as often happens inteenager land, Something I
(10:48):
couldn't have anticipatedhappened.
He went to school and he beganto talk to his friends that he
might not go to college.
And they all began to brainstormwith him.
Fantastic ideas.
You could be an au pair inEurope.
You could go to Alaska and be asalmon fisher.
I have an uncle who lives inRome.
He'd probably love to have youcome and be his apprentice.
(11:11):
He came back to his next sessionenergized, but also with a much
broader view of possibilities.
Unfortunately, he was freakinghis parents out and I received
an email from his dad saying,Who the heck are you to be
encouraging my kid to not go tocollege?
I had his parents come into myoffice the next day and I
(11:34):
explained.
He isn't quitting going tocollege.
He is taking back his power.
Think about it.
Since this kid's been in sixthor seventh grade, he had his eye
on the prize.
He worked so hard to get into anIvy League school and it didn't
work out.
There were many options that henever considered because there
(11:55):
was one path in his mind andthat path didn't work out for
him.
And now what he's doing isn'trejecting college.
He's actually stepping into hisown power and trying other
things out that he neverconsidered because he only saw
one path for his future.
The mom looked at me and said,Oh, so he's not quitting, but
(12:17):
he's taking back his power.
But can you assure us he'll goto college?
Of course, I can't assure youhe'll go to college.
Just like, I couldn't assure youthat he'd get into an Ivy, but
what I can assure you is this isa fine human being with many
talents, and one of the thingsthat we do when we feel rejected
(12:38):
is we kind of like to reject,and he is rejecting it.
But not in a destructive way.
In a healthy, curious, and youcan see his positive energy is
coming back.
And isn't it fascinating thathis friends are joining him in
this.
They are helping him to revisionhis future.
(13:01):
They know how disappointed heis, but they know what a great
kid he is.
This is difficult.
He's got to navigate therejection.
You can't do that for him.
Your only job is to say to him,we believe in you.
We trust you.
But for our peace of mind, so wecan sleep at night, can you
(13:22):
accept my request?
one of the schools that you wereadmitted to, just so you still
have that option as you movethrough this process.
Think about it.
The Ivies might have rejectedhim, but his parents are not
rejecting him.
And in the end, that is whatgives a kid stability.
(13:42):
That is what gives a kid selfconfidence that my parents trust
me.
to find my way.
Then he started dating a girlfrom work and one night he went
over to her house and her dadwas an electrician.
He began to ask his dad aboutwhat it was like to be an
electrician.
He listened to the dad's story,and then the dad said, What are
(14:05):
you going to do next year?
And he shared his story with thedad.
The dad listened intently, andthen the dad said to him, Wait a
second.
You got into three colleges, andbecause none of them are Ivy's,
you're not going to go tocollege?
Kid, you'd hate being anelectrician.
You'd be so frustrated becausethis job is all about adapting
(14:28):
when things don't go as planned.
Maybe you should go work on thatranch.
The clean air, physicalexercise, that actually sounds
great.
In that moment, he pulled outhis phone and he typed this
line, which he brought to hisnext session.
I can adapt or I can escape.
If we stay with our kids and letthem navigate rejection, what we
(14:52):
often see is a very powerfulprocess that unfolds that is
unique to them.
This young man learned aboutadapting.
When we talk about mentalwellness, rigidity is I can only
be at an Ivy League school.
Chaos is I'm not going if theydon't accept me.
But mental wellness is flexibleand adaptive and coherent.
(15:17):
He adapted and he went to one ofthe state schools that fall.
If you want to learn more aboutmy model for mental wellness,
check out episodes 130 and 131Your child's journey will not be
a straight line.
Part of you will want the safeand predictable path, but the
other part will grow into thereality that resilience comes
(15:41):
from uncertainty.
The job of a teenager is toanswer the question, who am I?
Successes help them define whothey are, but so do failures.
What you want to give your childwhen the no's come is this deep
sense that I trust that you canmove through this no in not only
(16:02):
a healthy way, but in a way thatat the end of it you will come
to know yourself in a moreauthentic loving and productive
way.
Your inner challenge this weekis to pay attention.
How do you respond when someoneyou love faces disappointment?
Do you rush in to fix it?
(16:23):
Do you distract?
Or are you really good at justbeing with them?
Remember, rejection is reallypainful, but it's also a
stepping stone to resilience,self awareness, and finding
doors that you didn't know couldever open for you.
Your child will find their way,and your trust in them will be
(16:45):
one of the most powerful giftsyou can give them.
I'll be back on Thursday to talkabout the most challenging part
of college, and that is payingfor it.
How to navigate theseconversations with your children
that help them step in to thenext level of emerging
adulthood.
(17:08):
Thanks for listening to CreatingMidlife Calm.
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