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M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this
episode, you'll discover how to
calm financial anxiety.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, a podcast dedicated to
empowering midlife minds toovercome anxiety, stop feeling
like crap and become morepresent with your family, all
while achieving greater successat work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensedclinical social worker with over
(00:21):
48, 000 hours of therapysessions and 31 years of
experience teaching mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast, episode1 54, take two.
Yep, that's right.
I just finished taping anemergency episode about how to
deal with your anxiety when thetariffs make the stock market go
down.
(00:41):
Only to come upstairs aftertaping to find out that once
again, president Trump has putthe tariffs on pause.
Does that mean your mind andyour anxiety are calm and
peaceful?
Probably not.
What's a podcaster to do?
Heck, forget me.
What's the small business ownerto do?
Or the middle-aged couplehelping your child figure out
finances for college.
(01:03):
It's all up in the air and itspikes your anxiety.
Let's be honest.
Few things spike our anxietylike money.
In this episode, I'm gonna offeryou a fresh way to think about
money plus three coping skillsto help your mind navigate this
moment of economic chaos.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (01:22):
As
always, I'll end with an inner
challenge, something you canstart today to help ease your
anxiety.
M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (01:29):
Unless
you're extremely wealthy, you're
probably feeling scared,uncertain, and probably a little
pissed off.
Let's start with the obvious.
What is money?
Every one of you listening hasyour own history and your own
experience with money.
Over the years, I've come tothink of money as energy.
It's kind of like sleep,especially in midlife.
(01:52):
If you get enough sleep, it'seasier to feel happy, but if you
wake up at 2:00 AM and can'tfall back asleep and anxiety
creeps in because you know thenext day is gonna be harder.
Money is similar.
When you have enough, you haveenergy not just to pay your
bills, but to enjoy some of thefiner things in life.
A latte, a couple times a week,planning a vacation, helping
(02:15):
your kids, or easing some ofyour parents' financial stress.
When tariffs rise and marketsfall, your energy around money
probably plummets too.
Especially if you're in thisstage of getting ready to send
kids to college or planning forretirement.
You might be like the couplesitting next to me at the
airport, all tanned andregretting their Florida
(02:37):
vacation.
Or like a friend of mine who'sselling her house feeling
pressured to accept a low balloffer because what if it all
gets worse?
I am certainly not here to giveyou financial advice.
Hopefully you have your ownfinancial planner that can help
you in that department.
But what I wanna talk abouttoday is how you can manage your
(02:57):
mind when it starts to run amuckbecause of all the uncertainty.
A mind left unmanaged will go tonegative thinking at best or
catastrophic thinking at worse.
And that's because your braindoesn't like uncertainty or
perceived threats.
And economic turmoil checks bothof those boxes.
If you think of money as energyand economic uncertainty as a
(03:20):
threat, then of course you'refeeling overwhelmed these days.
So the first step isn't to makea financial decision.
It's actually to tend andbefriend your energy in the
middle of all this chaos.
And let me be honest, for manyof you the usual tools I talk
about on this podcast, nameTame, a name may not be the
(03:43):
right tools for you at thismoment.
If fear is running your show,it's time to reach for the
coping skill.
Some people love to hate.
But it does work.
Meditation.
Stay with me here.
In the show notes.
I'm gonna share a link to awonderful podcast called Our
Mindful Nature.
(04:04):
The reason I am recommendingthis podcast at this time is
because the creator of thispodcast, Meryl Arnett, offers
short guided meditations thatinclude gentle nature sounds.
Think about it.
Your mind sees your 401kshrinking, but you soothe it
with the sound of soft breeze,flowing water, birds chirping.
(04:29):
And the best part, you don'thave to be a meditator.
You just have to be a listener.
All you have to do is turn onthe podcast and let her guide
you and your mind to a bit of acalmer place.
Why am I recommending that youdo meditations that are infused
(04:49):
with nature sounds at this time?
The reason is that when anxietytakes over, science tells us
that guided meditations withnature sound can gently bring
your nervous system back tocalm.
Science shows that the rhythm ofwaves, rain or birdsong helps
quiet your stress response andease your body into a sense of
(05:13):
safety.
If you can get out into naturewhen your mind is running wild,
that's great.
Do it.
But if not, let nature come toyou.
Coping skill number one, listento our mindful nature, and let
me give you an insider's tip.
Sometimes when your mind isreally running amuck with fear,
listen to the podcast withearbuds on.
(05:35):
There's something aboutlistening with earbuds that
really allows your mind to takein the meditation more fully.
Some of these meditations are 20minutes long, and let me tell
you from my own experience, youdon't need to do all 20 minutes.
Science tells us seven minutes,11 minutes can really help you
(05:57):
reset your central nervoussystem and that can really be
calming for your mind at a timelike this.
Once you've brought your mindfrom overwhelm to calm, or at
least calmer, you're ready forcoping.
Skill number two, prepare forthe possible and hope for the
best.
what does that mean?
(06:18):
It means it's time to put ourbig girl and big guy pants on
and face this financialuncertainty.
I'm not saying run around like achicken with your head cut off
and scream.
It's all over.
Not at all.
I'm recommending.
Grab a piece of paper and writedown the expenses that you could
pause or cut just for the nexttwo weeks.
(06:40):
Yes, two weeks.
Skip the daily coffee run, packlunch.
Cancel the unused streamingsubscriptions.
Grocery shop with intention.
Avoid mindless Amazon browsing.
This isn't about restrictionforever.
It's about building the muscleof economic restraint without
(07:00):
panic.
Two weeks from now, reassess andrepeat.
Let me give you examples Fromthe 2008 financial crisis, one
of my clients took a 30% paycut, and he did two things.
He figured out what he could cutfrom his spending, but he was
still 10% short.
He then asked people like me ifI could give him a 10% cut,
(07:25):
which I was happy to give him$3off his$30 copay.
And then he and his familycontinued to sell things here
and there to make up thedifference.
Another client of mine whosefather was laid off soon after
the October crash had beenaccepted into her dream school.
He still had not found a job inApril when she needed to make
(07:49):
the decision.
She really wanted to go to thisschool and she was just crushed.
Her and her family talked aboutit, but they just felt unable to
commit.
They went to the school and theyasked for a one year deferment,
which the school happily gave.
She took a year off and sheworked.
A year later, the dad was backfully employed and she went into
(08:13):
college not only with a prettyhealthy bank account but she
felt wiser and more mature forwhat turned out to be a great
college experience.
In both of these cases, myclients and their families
planned for the possible andhoped for the best.
This is not easy to do when yourbrain wants to make everything
catastrophic.
(08:34):
What if my retirement doesn'tbounce back?
Prepare for the possible andhope for the best.
And now coping skill numberthree, be a helper.
Yes, help others.
When you're wrapped in worryabout your own finances, step
outside of yourself.
It'll be a really nice littletrip.
(08:55):
Open a door for someone.
Help a stranger with theirgroceries.
Offer to babysit for a friend sothey can take a break.
Do you know someone who has losttheir job?
Perhaps you have a connection toa new job, or you can send them
a bit of money.
This really doesn't cost usanything.
They don't need to be big,dramatic acts.
Community has always pulled usthrough.
(09:18):
Give your phone a little break,tuck it away, and go find a
moment and a person to help.
It will lift your spirits, easeyour anxiety, and brighten
someone else's day.
I do this every day.
It's really fun.
I have met so many fascinatingpeople.
(09:39):
One thing I've really noticed inthe last six months is people
seem to be talking to each otheragain, reaching out.
Maybe we just innately know thatwe're going to get through this,
so we might as well get throughit together.
I do understand that we stillhave a big political divide.
If you have friends and lovedones that you have a hard time
(10:01):
reaching across that divide,please check out episode 108
Where I offer some ideas andstrategies to bridge the
difference.
And finally, coping skill numberfour.
Limit your financial news anddon't check your accounts
constantly.
Every financial planner issaying it.
Every mental health expert issaying it.
(10:21):
So yes, I'm saying it too.
Your inner challenge for thisweek is to pick one of these
coping skills and just give it atry, whether it's listening to
seven minutes of thenature-based meditation,
trimming a few expenses, helpingsomeone out, or stepping away
from the financial headlines,give it a try for your own
(10:44):
mental health.
I do understand that everythingoutside of you feels out of
control, feels chaotic, but youactually have the superpower of
managing your mind.
Notice how your mind goes to thefuture.
The goal of getting through thisis trying to keep your mind
engaged in healthy ways in thepresent.
(11:06):
As you do this, see what shiftsinside when you reclaim even a
little bit of control.
In this episode, you'vediscovered why your brain reacts
so strongly to financialuncertainty and why that's
normal.
How nature-based meditation canhelp restore a sense of safety
and calm and science-backedcoping skills to ease anxiety
(11:29):
when the market feels out ofcontrol.
I'm really sorry that onceagain, our country is going
through this type of chaos.
Remember, you don't have to doeverything, but a little bit
goes a long way.
I'll be back on Thursday with,But MJ really?
My mini format where a listenerpushes back against this week's
(11:52):
suggestions.
Will my strategy survive herpushback, or will I have to
rethink them?
I hope you tune in to see howthis goes.
Thanks for listening to creatingMidlife Calm.