Episode Transcript
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M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this
episode, you'll discover how to
decrease your anxiety whenPresident Trump's tariffs go up.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, a podcast dedicated to
empowering midlife minds toovercome anxiety, stop feeling
like crap and become morepresent with your family, all
while achieving greater successat work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensedclinical social worker with over
(00:24):
48, 000 hours of therapysessions and 31 years of
experience teaching mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast.
One of the interesting thingsabout living in a red state, but
in a blue city is that I getthis unique up close view of the
political divide, and woo, thispast week, president Trump
imposed tariffs then he pausedthem leaving the markets and
(00:46):
probably people like you and meswimming in uncertainty, and we
know what that means.
Anxiety up, calm down.
That's why I am bringing back mynew mini format.
But MJ, really?
In this episode, I've invited alistener to try out the coping
skills I shared with you onMonday.
Why?
(01:06):
Because the uncertainty thatwe're all living in is probably
not going away soon, and I wantyou to have simple, doable ways
to calm your nervous system whenthings outside of you feel
anything but predictable.
By the end of this episode,you'll find it easier to step
into your agency and take chargeof your mind.
No matter what's going on, onWall Street or in Washington.
(01:30):
Hearing someone else actuallyput these tools into action will
help normalize the process, andit will also help you understand
what it means to make copingskills intentional, and they're
usually not as hard as you mightfear.
So welcome back to the podcast,Abby.
Guest (01:47):
Thank you.
I'm happy to be back.
Let me start by asking you, on ascale of one to 10, how anxious
does all of this make you feel?
Honestly, an eight or a nine.
M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (01:58):
Can you
tell me why you're an eight or
nine?
Guest (02:01):
Unfortunately I'm in
between jobs, so anything having
to do with finances feelsescalated because I don't have
that base of security that Ithink you often have with a job.
Also, I don't feel like I'm aperson who deeply understands
(02:22):
the financial system.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (02:23):
You're
really moving through this
economic uncertainty with a lotof vulnerability.
Guest (02:28):
That's a great way to put
it.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (02:29):
That
makes sense that you're at eight
or nine.
Guest (02:31):
Yeah,
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (02:32):
I think
it's scary to be at eight or
nine, but as a therapist, assomeone who cares about you, I
actually wanna applaud that youare courageous enough to say I'm
at eight or nine.
Guest (02:45):
I thought about saying
five or six just to seem a
little bit more cool, but that'sjust not where I'm at.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (02:50):
I want to
say to all our listeners, it is
really cool, to be honest.
When you're honest, you actuallyset yourself up for success,
because when your at an eight ornine, you use coping skills more
intentionally and morepurposefully than when you're at
a two or three.
When we're at a two or three.
you don't really need any copingskills for anxiety, but when
(03:12):
you're at eight or nine, youabsolutely need coping skills.
Let's go back to the episode.
What were the coping skills thatyou tried?
Guest (03:20):
I did the seven minute
meditation and I also did a 20
minute meditation.
I also tried to reign in myreading of headlines.
I turned off the alerts.
So I pick when I look at themrather than them getting me when
I'm surprised.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (03:39):
That was
actually the last coping skill.
I talked about the importance ofmanaging how you consume the
news.
Let's start with that.
What was it like to purposelyand intentionally turn off your
alerts versus those hijackingyour brain when you actually may
be in a good spot.
Guest (03:55):
I think my biggest fear
with doing it is that I would be
behind, there would be somethingthat happened, for example, like
I got the alert right when thetariffs switched, and something
about being that in the know insome ways calming for a second,
but then concerning.
The switch caused me to be morepurposeful and why I was looking
(04:19):
at the news and the purpose wasto be informed.
I feel like often with thealerts the purpose of being
informed got overshadowed bybeing freaked out suddenly.
And because I'd pick a time ofday that I think I was a little
bit more grounded I felt like Iwas able to consume it in a
(04:40):
better way.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (04:41):
Wanna go
with your word consume, because
we think of consume when itcomes to food, and you're
actually using it as a metaphorof consuming the news.
Imagine that you're walkingthrough your day and you pretty
much know you eat at seven inthe morning, and then you get at
noon.
Maybe you have a snack at three,then you eat at six, and that
works for you.
Your body expects to have fuelat that time, and you're able to
(05:04):
have energy throughout the day.
When you Respond to alerts.
It would be the same as you'rewalking through their day and
someone shoves a hamburger downyour mouth.
You're not even hungry.
You didn't even want a burger.
And then pretty soon you'regoing somewhere else.
And before you know it,someone's pouring a milkshake
down your throat.
You didn't want it, but it'sthere.
(05:24):
The power of deciding what youdecided, is that you are
managing the news at a time thatis good for you versus the
companies that are trying to getyou to consume and stay on your
devices as much as possible,shoving them down your throat,
shoving them in your mind,making you unexpectedly anxious.
(05:46):
In this political environmentwhere the news is all the time
coming at us, it's reallyoverwhelming.
Guest (05:54):
Somehow I got a messaging
that it is important to be as up
to date as much as possible, andthere is an issue almost with
your commitment to the world ifyou're not doing that.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (06:09):
When you
hear yourself say that out loud,
does that make sense to you?
Guest (06:12):
It's kind of extreme and
it is a little ridiculous.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (06:18):
What I
want you to do is not take this
personally, that it's to stepinto the truth that the phone
culture has been created to keepus connected at all times,
whether it is good for us ornot.
I know that it is verylife-giving for people to step
(06:38):
into their power and tounderstand the economic
structure of the phone.
That is to keep you hooked in atall time so they can monetize
you and then understand theimportance of your own
independence, where you can sayThanks, but no thanks.
I'll turn off the notifications.
(06:58):
I will check the news as peoplehave for centuries, once or
twice a day,
Guest (07:03):
It's a good thing to
remember four centuries.
I've never honestly thoughtabout that.
it's helpful to have thatperspective that people have
received news in this other waythat could maybe be a little bit
more healthy.
Can I talk about another one ofthe strategies I did?
Yes.
The other was meditation.
M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (07:24):
On
Monday I shared a link to a
wonderful podcast called OurMindful Nature.
The reason I recommend thispodcast at this time is because
the creator of this podcast,Meryl Arnett, offers short
guided meditations that includegentle nature sounds.
When anxiety takes over, sciencetells us that guided meditations
(07:49):
with nature sound can gentlybring your nervous system back
to calm.
Guest (07:54):
I found the seven minute
meditation, easier to start.
So I did a quick little one.
I really procrastinated the 20minute, meditation and I did it.
And of course, like most things,once you do it, you're like, oh,
that was a good thing.
Finding the time, but probablymore.
Getting your butt to sit downand listen to the meditation is
(08:16):
very hard.
But there's something thathappens in the first three to
four minutes of it where I amlike, I don't wanna do this.
Lady on Spotify, you are lovely,but I don't wanna do this right
now.
So what advice do you have.
I will bet you that lady doesn'twanna do it the first three or
four minutes.
I don't wanna do it.
(08:36):
And this is a parallel processto the phone.
It's the opposite in a way.
Hmm.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (08:41):
The phone
we can't not want to do.
Yeah.
And then when we're on it toolong, our mind feels.
Yucky.
Our body feels yucky.
It is normal, and this is thehardest part of meditation.
The first three or four minutesI think are painful.
Most of the time when I do thefirst three or four minutes, my
mind is just making a list ofthings I forgot things I need to
(09:04):
do.
Guest (09:05):
I kept finding reasons
for me to not have to do it.
But I will say something thatwas helpful was the earbuds,
before I did it without theearbuds and I was like, I can't
do this.
And then I put the earbuds inand I felt like I could much
better settle in.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (09:21):
Why do
you think that is?
Guest (09:22):
Most of us have these
earphones now that can cut out a
degree of background noise.
So in a sense it was like doingpart of the work for me where
before I was hearing theneighbors and hearing someone
mow on the lawn.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (09:37):
One of
the beautiful new discoveries in
the last 20 years is that we canmanipulate sounds to calm our
brains.
And in a meditation like this,and that's why I very
specifically chose it for ourlisteners, she has a team of
people who are experts at this.
They're not just throwing soundson, they actually know the
(09:58):
science of putting on sounds fordifferent ways of calming the
brain, and this one is onanxiety.
That's why I said thisparticular meditation is not so
much a meditation as it is atool to give yourself permission
to listen to something that'scalming.
(10:20):
Do you see the difference?
Guest (10:21):
I do see the difference.
Also knowing that she puts thesounds.
'cause I was like, this is aninteresting array of sounds and
for other people listening.
At first I was a littleirritated by it and then by the
end I liked it, which isfascinating.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (10:36):
You're
irritated because you're going
from a mind that feelsirritated.
You're anxious, you're at aneight or nine.
What's interesting is when youstop, you become more aware of
that uncomfortableness of theeight or nine.
You put your earbuds on.
(10:57):
And for three to four minutes,while your mind settles in and
makes a shift.
It goes from anxious, anxious,anxious.
and the sounds use other partsof your brain to take in the
sounds and that actually helpsthe anxiety to reduce
Guest (11:15):
I think just being aware
that irritation is part of it,
is helpful to push through, evenif I expect it, like, oh, that's
gonna happen at this portion.
I think that surprised me thatthat is a common part of
switching, mental states.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (11:31):
If your
mental state is one of anxiety,
and it doesn't even have to bewhat I call like a frontal
mental state.
You can be engaged in something,and in the background is that
eight or nine anxiety, and thenyou put on the earbuds and this
meditation is like medicine,it's gonna sting at first
(11:52):
because you're asking your mindto move from the thinking part
to the being part.
You go up and then it kind ofsettles and it does help you
feel better because of thesounds, and you don't have to do
nearly as much work as if youwere doing traditional eastern
(12:12):
zen meditation where you weretrying to empty your monkey
mind.
Guest (12:17):
That's really
interesting.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (12:18):
So this
meditation does a lot of the
work for you.
Guest (12:22):
What was interesting
after it, I was actually a
little tired and I lay down for20, minutes.
Then I woke up and I felt a morerested.
Then when I meditated, I think Iwas more aware of the state my
body was in.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (12:36):
When your
are at high states of anxiety,
even though your not consciousof it, your body is tense and
working hard, and you will bemore tired.
The purpose of meditation is torelax your body as well as calm
your mind.
And then you feel tired and youlay down for 20 minutes and you
(12:57):
wake up and you feel.
A lot better.
A lot better.
Yeah, and that's the point ofthese two episodes.
We are going to be in a veryunpredictable culture for a long
time.
President Trump thrives onunpredictability.
And we don't get to change whohe is as a person, but we can
(13:19):
change who we are and ourrelationship to the
unpredictability and the chaos.
And that means a little bit moreself-care.
Guest (13:29):
Yeah.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (13:30):
In
wrapping up, what's the
takeaways for you from thisepisode?
Guest (13:35):
from the episode and from
us talking, it's that
understanding that there is auncomfortable feeling,
especially at the beginning ofthese types of meditations.
I think I always assumed that Ijust wasn't very good at it, and
that other people were able toget into them very easily and
(13:57):
look so peaceful.
So holding and accepting, andeven anticipating that tension.
I know you've talked about thisin other episodes, to be friends
with it, right?
That's part of the process.
the other thing I will reallytake away is understanding I
(14:20):
have the power to control how Iconsume the news.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (14:24):
Well
said, thanks for being on our
episode.
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Monday with another
episode of Creating MidlifeCalm.