Ep. 162 The Unbelievable Way Bringing PLAY Back Into Your Life Will Reduce Anxiety & Increase Calm in Midlife

Are you stuck in anxiety and overwhelmed by your never-ending to-do list?
You’re not alone — and the surprising solution might be something you haven’t done in years: play.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

1.  How play calms your brain and reduces anxiety in midlife

2.  The two biggest reasons anxious adults stop playing — and how to overcome          them

3.   Simple coping skills to bring play back into daily life — from joy scrolling to five minutes on a backyard swing

🎧 Press play now to rediscover laughter, lightness, and the forgotten coping skill your midlife brain needs.

Send us a text

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About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Episode Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this episode, you'll discover how
bringing five minutes of playback into your day can calm your
anxiety.

Built-in Microphone (00:08):
Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast
dedicated to empowering midlifeminds to overcome anxiety, stop
feeling like crap and becomemore present with your family,
all while achieving greatersuccess at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensedclinical social worker with over
48, 000 hours of therapysessions and 31 years of

(00:29):
experience teaching mentalwellness.

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:31):
Welcome to the podcast.
Today we're diving into thescience and soul of play and why
midlife might be the perfecttime to rediscover it.
By the end of this episode,you'll discover the science
behind play and what it does toyour brain and body.
The two biggest obstaclesanxious people face when trying
to play, and simple, realisticways to bring play back into

(00:55):
your life, even if it feels likeyou don't have time.
Before we begin, let's revisitMonday's Inner Challenge.
I call it the play rewind.
I asked you to jot down fiveactivities from your childhood
that lifted your spirits, thingsyou enjoyed, things that made
time disappear.
If you haven't done it yet, takefive minutes to do so after this

(01:19):
episode.
The list is more than a memory.
It's a map.
A map to fun, creativity, andenjoying the present with a lot
less anxiety.
You don't have to return to thepast.
Just reconnect with what oncemade your whole self feel light,
your spirit soar Let's startwith the hard truth.

(01:40):
Anxiety makes play difficult.
When you're constantly scanningfor danger, trying to control
outcomes or carrying the mentalload for your family or
workplace play can feelwasteful, even irresponsible.
Or selfish.
do you Feel like you have toearn the right to relax or be
silly?
The problem is anxiety shutsdown the very neural pathways

(02:04):
that allow for curiosity,spontaneity, joy, and fun.
Instead of helping you bepresent, anxiety pulls you into
the future, worrying,predicting, and preparing.
It's a wonder so many of youfeel disconnected from anything
lighthearted, but play is notchildish.
It's human.

(02:25):
It's a core part of resilience.
Your body is built for play andit needs it.
Honestly, I think one reason somany people feel anxious is
because they never get a realbreak.
Now, for the good news, I.
Play is medicine for the brainand the body.
When you engage in play, whetherit's dancing, doodling, goofing

(02:48):
off, or roughhousing with yourdog, cuddling with your cat and
child, your brain lights up in away that promotes flexibility,
creativity, and emotionalregulation.
Play activates your prefrontalcortex, helping you think more
clearly.
It also helps to quiet theamygdala.

(03:09):
Your fear center.
And laughter.
Laughter is powerful.
Did you know that laughtertherapy has been shown to lower
blood pressure, boost immunity,and increase serotonin and
endorphins?
Even fake laughter can trickyour brain into releasing feel
good chemicals.
Let me share a story from thecouch.
One of my midlife clients cameto therapy with weekly panic

(03:32):
attacks.
She was overwhelmed.
Driving kids to practicemanaging laundry, fielding daily
calls from an elderly parent,worrying about the economy.
And yes, working full-time.
She learned coping skills andreduced your panic, but a heavy
joyless feeling lingered.
So in one session, I played a32nd laugh track.

(04:00):
She looked me irritated andsaid, what are you doing?
I said, trying to make youlaugh.
She replied, oh, I never laugh.
I played it again.
Same look, but around the 22ndmark.
She smiled.
Then a tiny laugh, She asked me.
What's the point, MJ?
I said if you can panic, you canlaugh.

(04:23):
You just have to integrate itinto your day.
And that's the first majorobstacle to play the belief that
you've forgotten how The second,I don't have time.
I get it.
I've seen thousands of to-dolists over my career, and yes,
many of you love them and hatethem.
They give you little hits ofdopamine every time you check

(04:46):
something off, but they alsoconvince you there's no space
for fun.
Here's the fix.
Put play on your to-do list.
The problem becomes thesolution.
That's how many of my clientsmake space for it.
They choose to turn theirattention just for a few minutes
towards something that makesthem smile, laugh, or even feel

(05:07):
lighter.
It's a bit like taking avitamin.
The secret.
You don't wait for time toappear.
You make time by naming play asa priority.
Let's talk about bringing playback.
Even though I know you areincredibly busy, let's start
with the digital world.
One client told me she pausedher True Crime podcast and

(05:28):
replaced it with a midlifecomedian talking about family
life.
She laughed out loud in the carand realized just how heavy her
usual content had been makingher feel.
Even better.
She listened to the comedianwhile she was cooking dinner,
and before she knew it, her kidswere all standing around in the
kitchen laughing with her.

(05:49):
Why?
Because laughter is contagious.
So try this prompt.
Type into Google or chat GPT.
Give me five podcasts that willmake a midlife person laugh.
No celebrity interviews, nopolitics.
This midlifer loves family anddogs or cats or dancing or
whatever tickles your funnybone.

(06:10):
I've.
Tried this with clients and inseven seconds we found gems like
Schmanners and can I pet yourdog?
You have seven seconds, don'tyou.
Next choose shows or films thatbring out laughter.
this isn't extra time, it's aswap.
You're replacing somethingdraining with something joyful,

(06:31):
something fun.
Then try this.
Swap doom scrolling for joyscrolling.
Funny pet reels.
Silly toddler videos.
Wholesome mischief.
Laughter is everywhere, even inyour pocket.
Just remember even joy scrollingneeds limits.
Too much dopamine all at oncecan drain your brain.

(06:53):
Eventually move into real worldplay.
If you haven't listened toepisode 1 62, go back and check
it out.
It's all about reconnecting withyour childhood play.
Here's the thing.
If you wait until retirement toplay, you'll have the time, but
no practice.
Here's your experiment.
Schedule four sessions of realplay each week.

(07:16):
Aim to do at least two.
What counts Doing art, music,dancing, riding, gardening,
singing, hopscotch, checkers,water balloon fight, biking,
whatever makes your heart soar.
Feel free to try my favoritefive minutes on the backyard
swing.
Keep it light, keep it joyful.

(07:38):
Choose things that don't have aproductive purpose.
and Be gentle with yourself.
Anxious.
People often turn play into aperformance, into something I
must do.
If you miss a session, beflexible and adaptive and under
no circumstances, shameyourself.
This morning I skipped writingand let myself sleep in.

(08:00):
Why?
Because rest two is a form ofplay.
I'll write on Saturday when I'mnot so exhausted.
Can you see now play doesn'thave to be hard.
You are not too busy.
You are not too old.
You just need a reminder.
Your nervous system stillremembers joy.
Your nervous system stillremembers fun.

(08:20):
It just needs a bit of ajumpstart.
In this episode, you discoveredthe science, of how play reduces
anxiety, the two biggestobstacles to play, and
realistic, joyful ways to bringplay back into your daily life.
Anxiety says stay alert, playsays you're safe.
You're allowed to feel good.

(08:41):
You don't need permission.
Just a little practice, and ifyou're really stuck, don't
hesitate to find your ownpersonal play coach.
In fact, I have a session withmine later today, my 4-year-old
great niece.
I'm not sure what activitiesshe'll be coaching me in.
Maybe a trip to the zoo, the zipline at the playground, or a

(09:01):
masterpiece in finger painting,whatever it is.
I know this, she will alwaysremind me how easy it is to
laugh, move, and play, as longas I'm willing to follow her
lead.
Today's your turn to laugh toplay, or just follow the lead of
someone who still knows how.
If you found this episodehelpful, please feel free to

(09:24):
forward it to one of yourfriends or loved ones that you
think would benefit fromrelearning how to play.
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Monday with more
creating midlife calm.