July 10, 2025 • 16 mins
Do you ever feel so overstimulated in public that your mind blanks out—even during important moments?
This kind of emotional and sensory intensity is a normal part of being a highly sensitive person.
In this episode, you’ll discover:
- Easy, science-backed coping skills to reset your overwhelmed nervous system
- How to manage overstimulation in emotionally charged midlife events
- Ways to turn your high sensitivity into a superpower without burning out
🎧 Take a few minutes to learn practical coping skills for midlife anxiety—you’re worth it.
🔗 Links & Resources
Rebecca Hunter, MSW
• Website: rebeccahuntermsw.com
• Podcast: takeouttherapy.com
Dr. Elaine Aron, Ph.D.
• hsperson.com
Sensitive: The Untold Story
• Official Website: sensitivethemovie.com
• Watch on Amazon Prime Video
• Watch on YouTube
****
About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.
Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this episode, you'll discover coping
skills for highly sensitivepeople.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, a podcast dedicated to
empowering midlife minds toovercome anxiety, stop feeling
like crap and become morepresent with your family, all
while achieving greater successat work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensedclinical social worker with over
(00:22):
48, 000 hours of therapysessions and 31 years of
experience teaching mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast.
On Monday, we explored what itmeans to be a highly sensitive
person with HSP expert, RebeccaHunter.
Today Rebecca is joining meagain for a powerful follow-up
conversation.
We want you to step into thesuperpower of who you are and
(00:46):
really understand thistemperament let's start with a
quick check-in from Monday'sInner Challenge.
I invited you to take the HSPquiz by Dr.
Elaine Aaron for yourself, orperhaps for one of your children
that you have an inkling mightbe a highly sensitive child.
if you did.
how did it go?
(01:06):
Did anything surprise?
You?
Did some puzzle pieces aboutthat question.
Who am I begin to fall intoplace in a new and enlightened
way?
Whether you have known thatyou're highly sensitive for
years or you're just discoveringit this week, today's episode is
gonna give you some concretecoping skills so you can feel
more calm and capable.
(01:29):
I wanna begin by saying thanksfor coming back to creating
midlife calm, and Rebecca, wouldyou just reintroduce yourself
and give us a recap of what itmeans to be a highly sensitive
person?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (01:41):
Absolutely.
I'm happy to be here again.
I'm Rebecca Hunter.
I'm a therapist.
I've been in private practicefor 15 years.
I specialize in anxiety and Iwork with lots and lots of
people who consider themselvesto be highly sensitive people.
The world is a lot and highlysensitive people.
(02:02):
See it all.
They feel it all.
They frankly smell it all.
They are people whose senses areso heightened that life is
overwhelming and they'reoftentimes really in tune
emotionally, which can be agift.
(02:23):
Absolutely.
And also a lot.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (02:28):
I wanna begin with a clinical story that
I had this week in my office.
I had a midlife dad who went tohis son's college graduation,
and his son received the highestaward at the graduation, and the
midlife dad missed it all.
He was pretty overwhelmed by thecircus of the graduation.
(02:51):
He knew his son was up for theaward and he was really worried
about what it would be like forhis son if he didn't win it.
When his son's name got called.
He blanked out.
He didn't faint, but his mindwas so overwhelmed that.
It took his wife 45 secondslater to shake him and say, are
(03:11):
you okay that is a very commonexperience.
Different place, maybe differentgender, different age, and as a
clinician, if you were gonnahelp that man get ready for that
event where he could have beenpresent, what would you have
encouraged him to do?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (03:27):
That is a really common experience and
think of all the things thatwere going on at that
graduation.
Most graduations are outside, wehave voices, from.
360.
All the colors, maybe some windand weather.
It's so much.
What I would help him with firstis to learn to reset his sensory
(03:55):
system more often.
The difference between a highlysensitive person and someone
who's not as sensitive is thehighly sensitive person is like,
oh, there's a tree.
Oh, there's a leaf.
Oh, there's a branch.
Oh, that person's talking.
Oh look, there's a blinkinglight.
Highly sensitive people need tolearn to take breaks.
(04:16):
It means eyes close, brain off,taking in the world differently
and just giving your system abreak.
And actually there's ways totake those breaks right in the
middle of life and all of thethings that are happening.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (04:33):
I like the word reset.
Be super practical.
He's in the middle of this.
He knows he has to reset.
What would that look like?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (04:42):
What it would look like is him being
willing to close his eyes togive his eyeballs connected to
the brain.
A little break.
What it would look like is himtaking some deep breaths, which,
a lot of people are like, comeon.
Everybody's always saying, takea deep breath, blah, blah, blah.
Here's the thing.
Highly sensitive people, theytake in so much input that their
(05:04):
nervous system gets jacked upand they don't know it's
happening.
When you describe the experienceof your client, he went into
fight or flight.
He was completely in his naturalstate of the body's I'm not
gonna be able to take all thisin.
So we're just gonna shut it alldown for a hot second.
Listen, if we don't run thebody.
The body will run us.
(05:25):
If we don't run our minds andexercise discipline, they will
run our lives.
I would very simply say thereset looks like, come on back
in to yourself and the air thatyou breathe, and feel your butt
in the seat and place yourattention on your big toe of
your right foot.
(05:46):
Just come on in.
See what's happening in yourbody and work with that.
But most people just ignore it.
And try to push through.
And that does not work withhighly sensitive people at all
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (06:00):
because then they could end up like this
man who went to his doctor.
And had all these tests becausehe actually thought he had
blacked out.
Then they were saying to him,this is all in your head.
And he ends up in my office andI do have him take Elaine
Aaron's test and he scored superhigh.
And all of a sudden it was like,I've missed so many important
(06:21):
things in my life.
And isn't it amazing that yourreset, it's that easy.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (06:28):
Most people think it has to be more
complicated and that doesn'twork for me.
And all these really limitingthoughts before they even give
it a shot.
It takes 10 practices.
To get that down.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (06:38):
And is the big toe significant or can
you focus on something else?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (06:42):
No, you just play with your attention.
Where am I policing myattention?
Is my tension outside of me orwith me?
When we are a highly sensitiveperson, we tend to be really
good at taking care of otherpeople, not so much nurturing
(07:05):
within.
It's about stepping into adifferent relationship with
oneself, don't you think?
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (07:10):
I think that is so well said.
Especially because anyone inmidlife.
Did not have this informationgrowing up.
Children who are deeply feelingkids, as Dr.
Becky calls them.
Tend to have really intenseemotions.
My daughter is a deeply feelingkid, and the day before she left
for college, she literally waslaying on the kitchen floor
(07:33):
crying.
And she said to me.
I wished you had told me thatchildhood would pass so quickly,
I would've savored it all.
Beautiful.
I thought what 18-year-old eventhinks in that way?
A deeply feeling kid.
A highly sensitive personbecause they actually see in 360
Yes.
(07:53):
It's awesome.
It's, they see in 360 and shehad a good cry.
She felt good at the end of it,I felt very validated.
Look at you.
I am so pleased that you wannasavor your childhood.
That's gone by too fast.
And then she went on with herlife.
Yeah.
But if I didn't have theeducation I'd had, I might've
(08:13):
said to her get up off thatfloor.
What Are you acting like thatyou're 18 years old, you
shouldn't be laying on the floorcrying.
A little bit of information issuper helpful.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (08:21):
We could do five.
Podcast episodes, the impact ofgrowing up as a highly sensitive
person, but as an adult inmidlife, what I would say is
emotions are for real.
They're completely acceptableand you ought to feel'em and
highly sensitive.
(08:42):
People oftentimes have learnedthe opposite.
I'm too much.
I've got too much motion.
I'm too sensitive.
So they shut it all down?
I would say that's the kind oflonger term thing that you and I
are probably working in ouroffices to help people with is
yeah, you have to expressemotion.
(09:02):
There's all kinds of ways toexpress our emotion and we can
learn all the different ways.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (09:08):
Often that intense emotion, which
isn't understood or put incontext leads to people saying
things that create a lot ofshame.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (09:18):
Yes.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (09:19):
They're often.
Managing their shame more thanthey're managing their brain.
Given that most midlife peoplewho are HSPs, I think have been
shamed a lot.
About who they biologically are.
Listen to the first episode.
This isn't just some idea thatRebecca and I put together.
(09:39):
This is a highly researched,temperament type based in
biology.
How do you help people who cometo you who are very shame-based
about the nature of their brain?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (09:52):
I think education is key and like you
said beautifully sometimesthat's a one session deal.
Sometimes people come in andthey're like, I'm so messed up,
and here's all the reasons why.
And then we educate them andwe're like, actually, friend,
you're not really messed up, butyour brain just works different.
So can we work with that?
I help'em understand themselvesand come from there.
(10:16):
We are not in the business ofhelping people fix themselves.
We are in the business ofhelping people know themselves
and work with themselves.
I teach people to work with howthey are to make a lot of room
for that because it's real.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (10:34):
Have you seen the documentary Sensitive?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (10:36):
Yes,
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (10:37):
if you're someone who is HSP or this
podcast is making you wonder,take the time to watch that and
I'll link it in the show notes.
Because it has lots ofdimensions.
It's a father, it's a child, andit's a lot of the tension that
occurs in homes of people.
Yes.
When there isn't thisunderstanding.
(10:58):
Of this temperament.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (10:59):
Absolutely.
You and I just happen to belucky because we have the
information.
I also have a highly sensitivekid, and you're right, it's the
first thing that we have to doto heal is to validate our
experience, and that movie wasvery validating.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (11:16):
My last question is if someone's
listening and they're justdiscovering like, oh, this
sounds like me, or This soundslike my child, what's the one
thing that you would want themto do to really feel more calm
and more in control of thisreally unique temperament?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (11:34):
What I work with every person, highly
sensitive people included, iswhat are you doing with your
emotions?
How is your relationship withyourself going?
And are you able to be presentin life?
Not present on your computer,but present.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (11:52):
One of the tricky parts for people who
are highly sensitive is thattheir emotions are so intense,
they're very hard to hold.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (12:01):
Yep.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (12:02):
How do you help people build up the
stamina to hold these intenseemotions?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (12:08):
I think it's all about understanding the
connection between the brain andthe nervous system and the body,
and we absolutely have to startthere because we can do a lot of
regulation before we do a bunchof thinking.
where it gets a little tricky iswhen the brain kicks in because
(12:29):
then we start thinking about theemotion and we start making
meaning of how we're feeling.
It's really important for peopleto understand that to not have
emotion controlling your life,you need to learn to regulate
from your body first.
Because if you don't, you'llhave an emotion and your brain
(12:52):
will take over and you are sofar down the path that you don't
even know it, having the abilityto do the little resets that I
talked about, and also practicesome boundaries around your mind
activity.
That takes a little bit of timeto learn, but the thinking is
(13:12):
what gets us in trouble, doesn'tit?
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (13:14):
Yes.
It's really well said.
Emotions are physicalsensations.
Most people think they'rethoughts.
But they're physical sensationsthat manifest themselves in an
emotion that lead to a thought.
So the disruptor is to groundyour body.
Do breath work.
I call it notice.
Oh God, here it comes.
(13:35):
Name I feel it.
Where is it at?
It's on my body and tame.
And you tame through breath,work, notice name, tame.
When someone is highlysensitive, it happens fast and
it happens intensely.
That's why the brain loves totake over.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (13:51):
I want everybody to understand who's
listening that's identifyingwith this material to understand
that they have so much power.
We have control over what webring in a lot of times, and for
highly sensitive people, theydon't have a ton of control over
all the inputs.
(14:12):
You're gonna see the blinkinglight.
You're gonna smell the weirdsmell first, I promise.
But you have control over thoseinputs and the news, people like
to know what's going on, butthere's lots of ways to get the
news that aren't gonna jack upyour nervous system.
I would say be empowered overwhat is coming in and care for
(14:37):
yourself as a human being.
Because the container can onlyhold so much friend.
It can't hold everything.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (14:45):
That's really well said.
The one thing we haven't said.
It's people who have thistemperament tend to also have
the IT factor.
They have a charisma that tendsto be incredibly important in
family, incredibly important inwork.
They often are super connectorsand they notice things about
(15:06):
people that other people don'tnotice that are positive and
special.
They make amazing managers, theymake amazing teachers because of
that.
They make amazing therapistsbecause of that.
But if you don't modulate.
The amazing gets overwhelmed andthe sparkle doesn't come out.
I want to also end, if you'relistening to this, working with
(15:28):
a therapist that knows aboutthis temperament is essential.
Over the years, I've had manyclients come and they've worked
with really good therapists andmade good progress, but this
wasn't integrated.
And it's one simple questionthat you can ask a therapist,
and that is, do you have abackground in HSPs?
(15:49):
I will put Rebecca's onlinecoaching practice.
She's an expert in thistemperament.
I will also put her podcast,which I really like.
I actually listen to it to getideas and to just.
Not feel so alone in this littlepodcast world of ours called
takeout therapy.
I wanna thank you.
What we looked at in thisepisode today how did come to
terms with your highly sensitivepersonality by having some super
(16:12):
simple coping skills that arefree and that you can use.
Anywhere.
And in doing that, you reallystep into your superpower that
is unique to each person, butalso includes a lot of sparkle.
Maybe it's highly sparkly personwould be a better way to end
this podcast.
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Monday with more
(16:34):
creating midlife calm.
In this episode, you'll discover coping
skills for highly sensitivepeople.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, a podcast dedicated to
empowering midlife minds toovercome anxiety, stop feeling
like crap and become morepresent with your family, all
while achieving greater successat work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensedclinical social worker with over
(00:22):
48, 000 hours of therapysessions and 31 years of
experience teaching mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast.
On Monday, we explored what itmeans to be a highly sensitive
person with HSP expert, RebeccaHunter.
Today Rebecca is joining meagain for a powerful follow-up
conversation.
We want you to step into thesuperpower of who you are and
(00:46):
really understand thistemperament let's start with a
quick check-in from Monday'sInner Challenge.
I invited you to take the HSPquiz by Dr.
Elaine Aaron for yourself, orperhaps for one of your children
that you have an inkling mightbe a highly sensitive child.
if you did.
how did it go?
(01:06):
Did anything surprise?
You?
Did some puzzle pieces aboutthat question.
Who am I begin to fall intoplace in a new and enlightened
way?
Whether you have known thatyou're highly sensitive for
years or you're just discoveringit this week, today's episode is
gonna give you some concretecoping skills so you can feel
more calm and capable.
(01:29):
I wanna begin by saying thanksfor coming back to creating
midlife calm, and Rebecca, wouldyou just reintroduce yourself
and give us a recap of what itmeans to be a highly sensitive
person?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (01:41):
Absolutely.
I'm happy to be here again.
I'm Rebecca Hunter.
I'm a therapist.
I've been in private practicefor 15 years.
I specialize in anxiety and Iwork with lots and lots of
people who consider themselvesto be highly sensitive people.
The world is a lot and highlysensitive people.
(02:02):
See it all.
They feel it all.
They frankly smell it all.
They are people whose senses areso heightened that life is
overwhelming and they'reoftentimes really in tune
emotionally, which can be agift.
(02:23):
Absolutely.
And also a lot.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (02:28):
I wanna begin with a clinical story that
I had this week in my office.
I had a midlife dad who went tohis son's college graduation,
and his son received the highestaward at the graduation, and the
midlife dad missed it all.
He was pretty overwhelmed by thecircus of the graduation.
(02:51):
He knew his son was up for theaward and he was really worried
about what it would be like forhis son if he didn't win it.
When his son's name got called.
He blanked out.
He didn't faint, but his mindwas so overwhelmed that.
It took his wife 45 secondslater to shake him and say, are
(03:11):
you okay that is a very commonexperience.
Different place, maybe differentgender, different age, and as a
clinician, if you were gonnahelp that man get ready for that
event where he could have beenpresent, what would you have
encouraged him to do?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (03:27):
That is a really common experience and
think of all the things thatwere going on at that
graduation.
Most graduations are outside, wehave voices, from.
360.
All the colors, maybe some windand weather.
It's so much.
What I would help him with firstis to learn to reset his sensory
(03:55):
system more often.
The difference between a highlysensitive person and someone
who's not as sensitive is thehighly sensitive person is like,
oh, there's a tree.
Oh, there's a leaf.
Oh, there's a branch.
Oh, that person's talking.
Oh look, there's a blinkinglight.
Highly sensitive people need tolearn to take breaks.
(04:16):
It means eyes close, brain off,taking in the world differently
and just giving your system abreak.
And actually there's ways totake those breaks right in the
middle of life and all of thethings that are happening.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (04:33):
I like the word reset.
Be super practical.
He's in the middle of this.
He knows he has to reset.
What would that look like?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (04:42):
What it would look like is him being
willing to close his eyes togive his eyeballs connected to
the brain.
A little break.
What it would look like is himtaking some deep breaths, which,
a lot of people are like, comeon.
Everybody's always saying, takea deep breath, blah, blah, blah.
Here's the thing.
Highly sensitive people, theytake in so much input that their
(05:04):
nervous system gets jacked upand they don't know it's
happening.
When you describe the experienceof your client, he went into
fight or flight.
He was completely in his naturalstate of the body's I'm not
gonna be able to take all thisin.
So we're just gonna shut it alldown for a hot second.
Listen, if we don't run thebody.
The body will run us.
(05:25):
If we don't run our minds andexercise discipline, they will
run our lives.
I would very simply say thereset looks like, come on back
in to yourself and the air thatyou breathe, and feel your butt
in the seat and place yourattention on your big toe of
your right foot.
(05:46):
Just come on in.
See what's happening in yourbody and work with that.
But most people just ignore it.
And try to push through.
And that does not work withhighly sensitive people at all
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (06:00):
because then they could end up like this
man who went to his doctor.
And had all these tests becausehe actually thought he had
blacked out.
Then they were saying to him,this is all in your head.
And he ends up in my office andI do have him take Elaine
Aaron's test and he scored superhigh.
And all of a sudden it was like,I've missed so many important
(06:21):
things in my life.
And isn't it amazing that yourreset, it's that easy.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (06:28):
Most people think it has to be more
complicated and that doesn'twork for me.
And all these really limitingthoughts before they even give
it a shot.
It takes 10 practices.
To get that down.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (06:38):
And is the big toe significant or can
you focus on something else?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (06:42):
No, you just play with your attention.
Where am I policing myattention?
Is my tension outside of me orwith me?
When we are a highly sensitiveperson, we tend to be really
good at taking care of otherpeople, not so much nurturing
(07:05):
within.
It's about stepping into adifferent relationship with
oneself, don't you think?
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (07:10):
I think that is so well said.
Especially because anyone inmidlife.
Did not have this informationgrowing up.
Children who are deeply feelingkids, as Dr.
Becky calls them.
Tend to have really intenseemotions.
My daughter is a deeply feelingkid, and the day before she left
for college, she literally waslaying on the kitchen floor
(07:33):
crying.
And she said to me.
I wished you had told me thatchildhood would pass so quickly,
I would've savored it all.
Beautiful.
I thought what 18-year-old eventhinks in that way?
A deeply feeling kid.
A highly sensitive personbecause they actually see in 360
Yes.
(07:53):
It's awesome.
It's, they see in 360 and shehad a good cry.
She felt good at the end of it,I felt very validated.
Look at you.
I am so pleased that you wannasavor your childhood.
That's gone by too fast.
And then she went on with herlife.
Yeah.
But if I didn't have theeducation I'd had, I might've
(08:13):
said to her get up off thatfloor.
What Are you acting like thatyou're 18 years old, you
shouldn't be laying on the floorcrying.
A little bit of information issuper helpful.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (08:21):
We could do five.
Podcast episodes, the impact ofgrowing up as a highly sensitive
person, but as an adult inmidlife, what I would say is
emotions are for real.
They're completely acceptableand you ought to feel'em and
highly sensitive.
(08:42):
People oftentimes have learnedthe opposite.
I'm too much.
I've got too much motion.
I'm too sensitive.
So they shut it all down?
I would say that's the kind oflonger term thing that you and I
are probably working in ouroffices to help people with is
yeah, you have to expressemotion.
(09:02):
There's all kinds of ways toexpress our emotion and we can
learn all the different ways.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (09:08):
Often that intense emotion, which
isn't understood or put incontext leads to people saying
things that create a lot ofshame.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (09:18):
Yes.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (09:19):
They're often.
Managing their shame more thanthey're managing their brain.
Given that most midlife peoplewho are HSPs, I think have been
shamed a lot.
About who they biologically are.
Listen to the first episode.
This isn't just some idea thatRebecca and I put together.
(09:39):
This is a highly researched,temperament type based in
biology.
How do you help people who cometo you who are very shame-based
about the nature of their brain?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (09:52):
I think education is key and like you
said beautifully sometimesthat's a one session deal.
Sometimes people come in andthey're like, I'm so messed up,
and here's all the reasons why.
And then we educate them andwe're like, actually, friend,
you're not really messed up, butyour brain just works different.
So can we work with that?
I help'em understand themselvesand come from there.
(10:16):
We are not in the business ofhelping people fix themselves.
We are in the business ofhelping people know themselves
and work with themselves.
I teach people to work with howthey are to make a lot of room
for that because it's real.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (10:34):
Have you seen the documentary Sensitive?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (10:36):
Yes,
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (10:37):
if you're someone who is HSP or this
podcast is making you wonder,take the time to watch that and
I'll link it in the show notes.
Because it has lots ofdimensions.
It's a father, it's a child, andit's a lot of the tension that
occurs in homes of people.
Yes.
When there isn't thisunderstanding.
(10:58):
Of this temperament.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (10:59):
Absolutely.
You and I just happen to belucky because we have the
information.
I also have a highly sensitivekid, and you're right, it's the
first thing that we have to doto heal is to validate our
experience, and that movie wasvery validating.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (11:16):
My last question is if someone's
listening and they're justdiscovering like, oh, this
sounds like me, or This soundslike my child, what's the one
thing that you would want themto do to really feel more calm
and more in control of thisreally unique temperament?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (11:34):
What I work with every person, highly
sensitive people included, iswhat are you doing with your
emotions?
How is your relationship withyourself going?
And are you able to be presentin life?
Not present on your computer,but present.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (11:52):
One of the tricky parts for people who
are highly sensitive is thattheir emotions are so intense,
they're very hard to hold.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (12:01):
Yep.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (12:02):
How do you help people build up the
stamina to hold these intenseemotions?
Rebecca Hunter MSW (12:08):
I think it's all about understanding the
connection between the brain andthe nervous system and the body,
and we absolutely have to startthere because we can do a lot of
regulation before we do a bunchof thinking.
where it gets a little tricky iswhen the brain kicks in because
(12:29):
then we start thinking about theemotion and we start making
meaning of how we're feeling.
It's really important for peopleto understand that to not have
emotion controlling your life,you need to learn to regulate
from your body first.
Because if you don't, you'llhave an emotion and your brain
(12:52):
will take over and you are sofar down the path that you don't
even know it, having the abilityto do the little resets that I
talked about, and also practicesome boundaries around your mind
activity.
That takes a little bit of timeto learn, but the thinking is
(13:12):
what gets us in trouble, doesn'tit?
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (13:14):
Yes.
It's really well said.
Emotions are physicalsensations.
Most people think they'rethoughts.
But they're physical sensationsthat manifest themselves in an
emotion that lead to a thought.
So the disruptor is to groundyour body.
Do breath work.
I call it notice.
Oh God, here it comes.
(13:35):
Name I feel it.
Where is it at?
It's on my body and tame.
And you tame through breath,work, notice name, tame.
When someone is highlysensitive, it happens fast and
it happens intensely.
That's why the brain loves totake over.
Rebecca Hunter MSW (13:51):
I want everybody to understand who's
listening that's identifyingwith this material to understand
that they have so much power.
We have control over what webring in a lot of times, and for
highly sensitive people, theydon't have a ton of control over
all the inputs.
(14:12):
You're gonna see the blinkinglight.
You're gonna smell the weirdsmell first, I promise.
But you have control over thoseinputs and the news, people like
to know what's going on, butthere's lots of ways to get the
news that aren't gonna jack upyour nervous system.
I would say be empowered overwhat is coming in and care for
(14:37):
yourself as a human being.
Because the container can onlyhold so much friend.
It can't hold everything.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (14:45):
That's really well said.
The one thing we haven't said.
It's people who have thistemperament tend to also have
the IT factor.
They have a charisma that tendsto be incredibly important in
family, incredibly important inwork.
They often are super connectorsand they notice things about
(15:06):
people that other people don'tnotice that are positive and
special.
They make amazing managers, theymake amazing teachers because of
that.
They make amazing therapistsbecause of that.
But if you don't modulate.
The amazing gets overwhelmed andthe sparkle doesn't come out.
I want to also end, if you'relistening to this, working with
(15:28):
a therapist that knows aboutthis temperament is essential.
Over the years, I've had manyclients come and they've worked
with really good therapists andmade good progress, but this
wasn't integrated.
And it's one simple questionthat you can ask a therapist,
and that is, do you have abackground in HSPs?
(15:49):
I will put Rebecca's onlinecoaching practice.
She's an expert in thistemperament.
I will also put her podcast,which I really like.
I actually listen to it to getideas and to just.
Not feel so alone in this littlepodcast world of ours called
takeout therapy.
I wanna thank you.
What we looked at in thisepisode today how did come to
terms with your highly sensitivepersonality by having some super
(16:12):
simple coping skills that arefree and that you can use.
Anywhere.
And in doing that, you reallystep into your superpower that
is unique to each person, butalso includes a lot of sparkle.
Maybe it's highly sparkly personwould be a better way to end
this podcast.
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Monday with more
(16:34):
creating midlife calm.
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