Ep. 186: Turn Stress Into Action & Get More Done Using This Secret Hack For Midlife Anxiety

Is midlife stress making even simple tasks feel overwhelming?
There’s a powerful, brain-based coping skill that can help you stop avoiding and start doing—with more calm and clarity.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

1.     Why your brain resists certain tasks—and how to gently override it

2.     A simple science backed coping skill that transforms stress and boosts motivation

3.     A real-life example of how this simple shift helped someone finally follow through

🎧 Tune in to learn how to calm midlife stress fast—so you can get things done and feel more in control.

Email me at [e-mail] for your free copy of The Mental Movie

 

Send us a text

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About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Episode Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
in this episode, you'll discover a
simple coping skill thattransforms stress into action.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, the podcast where you and
I tackle stress and anxiety inmidlife so you can stop feeling
like crap, feel more present athome, and thrive at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon a LicensedClinical Social Worker with over

(00:22):
50,000 hours of therapy sessionsand 32 years of teaching
practical science-backed mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast.
As you shift from the slowerpace of summer into the hectic
demands of fall, you might feellike you're carrying a backpack
full of stress.
Your to-do lists are back, andwith them comes a familiar

(00:43):
pattern.
Procrastination.
And avoidance in today'sepisode, I'm gonna share a
deceptively simple strategy thathelps you move through stress,
not around it.
There isn't a day that goes bythat I don't use this coping
skill and there isn't a clientin my 50,000 hours of therapy

(01:04):
who hasn't learned it.
Trust me, in this really busytime of the year.
Give me 10 minutes.
It will really be worth yourtime.
Let's begin with what stressactually is and why it feeds
procrastination.
I'm basically giving you a quickrefresher from episode 1 79
where we define stress likethis.

(01:26):
Stress is the feeling thatsomething needs to get done it
can be something small likedoing the dishes, something
medium like mailing your mom'sbirthday present on time, or
something big like schedulingthat mammogram'cause you feel a
lump.
This definition matters becausewhen your brain senses that
something is important andunresolved, it kicks into gear.

(01:50):
But I bet sometimes instead ofacting.
You do the opposite.
You procrastinate, you scroll,you snack, you delay.
That tension between the urgencyof needing to get something done
and the avoidance creates thislow level of stress in your life
and in midlife, yourresponsibilities pile up.

(02:13):
This mindless procrastinationnot only increases your stress,
but it steals your quality freetime.
Now you're playing catch up.
Instead of relaxing.
That's why I'm really excited toshare the coping Skill mental
movie with you.
It doesn't just help you movethrough resistance.
It frees up time so you canenjoy it.

(02:35):
Whether that's taking a walk,having coffee with a friend, or
watching your favorite Netflixseries.
So what is the mental movietechnique?
A mental movie is exactly whatit sounds like.
You visualize the task you'reputting off.
Actually, I did this last night.
I was planning on getting upearly this morning to walk with

(02:56):
a friend.
I knew I'd be rushed andpossibly forget something if I
didn't pack my bag the nightbefore, but I just didn't feel
like moving, I was on the couch,settled for the night, tired and
just comfy after feeling thattug of war inside of me.
I just said out loud.
Run the movie, MJ Run the movie,In my mind, I saw myself

(03:19):
gathering my clothes and shoes,getting out my makeup, my brush,
my comb, putting it all in thebag, nothing dramatic, just a
quick mental run through.
You might be thinking.
Really MJ, I'm supposed toimagine doing it instead of just
doing it.
Yes.
And here's why.
Neuroscience tells us that thebrain doesn't fully distinguish

(03:43):
between doing something andvividly imagining it.
In fact, FMRI research showsthat visualizing a task, whether
it's giving a speech, writing anemail, or kicking a field goal.
Activates many of the sameneural pathways as actually
doing it.

(04:03):
This gives you a headstart.
It lowers your mentalresistance.
It helps your brain stopcatastrophizing and start
organizing.
And here's the bonus.
The brain is lazy.
It loves efficiency.
When you rehearse somethingmentally, your brain says, oh,
this isn't so bad, and is morewilling to cooperate when it's

(04:27):
time to begin.
So what happened last nightafter I ran the movie, I got up
and in a whopping two minutes,packed my bag and sat down
stress free.
In midlife.
It's easy for you toprocrastinate on things that
feel overwhelming, tedious,endless, or emotionally heavy,
such as scheduling a doctor'sappointment, starting paperwork,

(04:50):
cleaning out a room full ofemotional weight.
Your stress is real, but it'salso actionable.
The mental Movie helps shrinkyour resistance and build
momentum.
Let me share a story From thecouch.
Many of my midlife clients stayup too late just to have some
time alone, some time to relax.

(05:12):
Instead of going to bed at 10 or10 30, they're up until midnight
or 1:00 AM in my office.
I guide them through a mentalmovie.
They visualize winding downintentionally.
They picture a relaxing activityand going to bed in time so they
can get seven to eight hours ofsleep.
Here's what's interesting.
When someone intentionallyimagines their evening routine,

(05:36):
no one has imagined scrolling ontheir phone endlessly.
They see themselves doing alittle bit of tidying, prepping
for the next day, watching ashort show, or going on a walk
with a dog, then heading to bedon time.
Let me share another client'sstory.
I had a client whose closet wasso overstuffed she couldn't use

(05:57):
it.
One day she said to me, I am nowusing my child's room as an
overflow because I can't open mycloset.
I said to her, let's do a mentalmovie.
On that in session, she closedher eyes and she visualized
setting a 20 minute timer,bringing up two boxes.
One for goodwill, one for notsure.

(06:20):
Taking a small section ofclothes and sorting, putting
back what she kept and movingthe not so sure box to her
child's room.
I had her repeat this two moretimes.
The second time, as she wasdoing the same process, she had
the thought, oh, I couldactually listen to music while I

(06:40):
cleaned out the closet.
And the third time she said, Icould do this for an hour.
It's not that big a deal.
Two weeks later, when she cameto her next appointment, she
walked in and she said thecloset is clean.
More importantly, she told meshe had applied the skill of the
mental movie to other areas inher life.

(07:01):
Wanna know the process for themental movie?
It's simple.
Pick one task you've beenavoiding.
Remember avoidance equalsstress.
Close your eyes and take acalming breath.
Run a mental movie of yourself,starting the task, then moving
to the next step.
No drama.
Just a simple, clear mentalpicture.

(07:23):
Then do the same thing again.
Play it again.
Noticing what small details oractions you can naturally add,
and then play it a third timeand observe how you feel.
This might take two minutes,maybe less.
Then check your body.
Most people feel lighter,clearer, more motivated.

(07:47):
you and I both know that lifehas a lot of tedious tasks.
Why do we want our stress tiedto those?
Imagine yourself doing them,moving through them so you can
get on and put your energytowards the things that you
really want to do.
I find it so freeing to knowthat my brain is lazy the mental

(08:09):
movie is a jumpstart.
It works for exercise.
It works for hard conversations.
It works for getting things donewithout beating yourself up.
And all you need is your mind.
Ready, set action.
Your Inner Challenge for thisweek is to pick one thing you've

(08:30):
been putting off, big or small.
Close your eyes and run a mentalmovie of you doing it.
You don't need to finish it.
You can just begin becausemomentum builds from the inside
out.
If you'd like a PDF of thisprocess, send me an email at
[e-mail].

(08:52):
I'll put that email in the shownotes and I will send you for
free this super helpful copingskill.
I know it's easy for me on thispodcast to give you these coping
skills and to say, just trythem.
On Thursday.
I'm gonna bring back one of myfavorite segments, but MJ,

(09:12):
really a listener's going tojoin me who I've taught this
coping skill to.
And we're gonna talk about howshe applied it and try to refine
it, not just for herunderstanding, but for yours
too.
Using the mental movie helps youlean into the truth about your
brain and move it from lazy toactive.

(09:35):
Because who doesn't wanna getstuff done.
Of course you wanna feel lessstress and create more calm.
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Thursday with more
creating midlife calm.