Ep. 188 2 Proven Coping Skills to Interrupt Midlife Anxiety Before It Spirals

Is your anxiety hijacking your mind before you even notice it?
You’re not alone—and you don’t have to stay stuck in the cycle.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

1.     How to identify your unique anxiety signals before they take over

2.     Why grounding your body in the present interrupts anxiety faster than thinking

3.     A 90-second coping skill you can use daily to stay calm, focused, and present

🎧 Take 10 minutes to stop anxiety from running your day—you’re worth it.

 

 

Send us a text

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About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Episode Transcript

MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
in this episode, you'll discover how to
stop anxiety from hijacking yourmind.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, the podcast where you and
I tackle stress and anxiety inmidlife so you can stop feeling
like crap, feel more present athome, and thrive at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon a LicensedClinical Social Worker with over

(00:21):
50,000 hours of therapy sessionsand 32 years of teaching
practical science-backed mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast Ifanxiety tends to sneak up on you
or spiral fast.
Today's episode will show youhow to catch it early and
interrupt the cycle before itgains momentum and makes you
feel like crap.

(00:43):
I'm gonna walk you through twopowerful coping skills.
First, how to notice anxiety themoment it begins, and second,
how do you use your body toground yourself in 90 seconds or
less?
In this episode, you'll discoverthe importance of being able to
identify anxiety as it startsand what to do to calm it down

(01:05):
so your mind.
Doesn't run amuck.
You know what I mean?
back in episode 1 79, we definedanxiety as your mind worrying
about something in the future orgetting stuck in something from
the past.
It's time travel for the brainand your thoughts go everywhere
except the present.

(01:25):
You are applying for a promotionand before the interview, you've
already convinced yourself youwon't get it, or one of your
kids wants to try out for a teamand you gently start nudging
them towards other activitiesbecause deep down you're bracing
for disappointment.
Take the risk and trust thatboth of you have what it takes
to handle whatever happens.

(01:47):
Anxiety pulls you out of themoment and into over
functioning.
Or under trusting.
The fastest way to come back isto reconnect with your body.
Why?
Because your body is alwaysright there, ready to serve you.
Go ahead, check in.
Where is your body right now?

(02:08):
Yep.
It's here.
Right here in the moment.
And what does it need?
Well, when you're anxious, itneeds about 60 to 90 seconds of
your attention.
It might be hard for you tobelieve that pausing for 60 to
90 seconds can stop your anxietyfrom morphing into a
catastrophic story, not rootedin fact.

(02:30):
And that leads me to copingskill Number one, if you wanna
stop your anxiety in the tracks,the first thing you have to do
is notice you're anxious.
This skill.
Noticing you're anxious ispowerful and it's simple.
It might sound obvious, but manyof my clients, maybe even you go

(02:52):
hours or days tangled up intheir anxiety without realizing
it.
Why?
Because your anxiety disguisesitself.
It hides in your body.
It seeps into your behavior, andover time you get so used to it
that it feels normal.
Let me share with you the fivemost common anxiety signals I

(03:14):
see in midlife muscle tension,especially in your shoulders,
jaw, or neck.
Rapid or shallow breathing, oreven breath holding.
Racing thoughts or doom spirals,difficulty focusing, especially
on conversations and tasks.
You know, those racing thoughtsthat just keep looping and

(03:36):
looping.
Make it hard to move your mind.
And lastly, a powerful urge toavoid, fix, or escape through
food.
Scrolling, snarky comments orgoing into life coach mode.
Take a moment.
Which of these anxiety signalsshow up for you?
If you're not sure, ask yourpartner.

(03:59):
When clients do this, they'reoften surprised at how quickly
their loved one can answer.
And if that doesn't help, don'tworry.
Once you start paying attention,your body will tell you.
I once had a client who said tome, I don't really experience
anxiety.
The next session, she asked ifmenopause could cause insomnia.

(04:21):
She was only 27.
She had trouble falling asleepand often woke up in the middle
of the night with racingThoughts.
During the day, this womanstayed busy enough to distract
herself, but at night, thesilence made her symptoms loud.
So let me pause here and ask aquestion that's quite related to

(04:41):
today's topic.
Are you coaching or calming?
Another client's spouse camehome from a tough annual review.
His boss gave fair but criticalfeedback.
He needed someone to listen, butinstead his wife, my client
jumped in.
Your boss is a jerk.
You should quit and findsomething better.

(05:01):
Her anxiety couldn't toleratehis discomfort, so she rushed in
to fix it.
She wasn't calming him, she wascoaching him out of her own
fear.
This happens often.
You hear about someone's painand go into advice mode.
Or problem solving.
But underneath that, it's youranxiety doing the talking.

(05:23):
So I'll ask again, are youcoaching or are you calming, not
just others, but yourself?
A little detective?
Work on your part will make yoursignals easier to recognize, and
once you recognize them, you'reready for the next skill, which
is coping skill Number two,ground your attention in the

(05:45):
body.
When you catch anxiety inmotion, remind yourself.
My mind is not in the present,but my body is.
The most effective way to sootheanxiety is not to argue with
your thoughts, not to become afiction writer about the
catastrophe that may happen, butto bring your attention to your

(06:07):
body.
Your nervous system is alwaysscanning.
Am I safe?
Am I calm?
If your posture and breath saydanger, danger, your mind will
follow.
But if your breath and musclesay, I'm okay, I got this.
Your thoughts will eventuallycalm down.

(06:27):
Yes, you cannot argue yourthoughts into calmness.
Research backs this up.
Your body sends more informationto your brain than your brain
sends to your body.
Did you hear that?
You are trying to think yourbody into calmness.
What I want you to do is calmyour body, so your brain settles

(06:52):
down, and the way that you dothat is you change your breath.
Or posture, and that seems likea small thing, but it actually
rewires your response.
This is mindfulness, but not themonk on a mountain version.
This is a cost free nervoussystem reset, and if time is

(07:13):
money, nothing costs more thanletting your anxiety run your
day.
How do you ground your body inreal time?
Here's how to do it, and ittakes less than 90 seconds.
Start with your feet.
Can you feel them on the ground?
And gently say out loud or inyour mind, come back, come back,

(07:36):
come back.
Sometimes I add my name and alittle bit of humor because
humor is actually a wonderfulantidote to anxiety.
After you've grounded your feet,move to your breath.
Notice.
Are you holding it?
Can you take one slow exhale.
Soften your jaw, drop yourshoulders, and let your belly

(08:00):
move.
Just breathe.
If you would like my free MPthree on box breathing, send me
an email [e-mail] after you
breathe move your body gentlyshrug your shoulders, shake your
arms or bounce your legslightly.

(08:22):
This is what athletes do toloosen up, and when you pair
movement with awareness, you aretelling your body you're safe.
You can settle.
It's about inviting enough easeto interrupt the spiral of
anxiety.
Let me share an example thatjust happened in my own life a
couple hours ago, earlier today,I had a tense phone call.

(08:46):
During the conversation, I couldfeel my anxiety rising, pushing
me toward a snarky comment.
I would later regret I groundedmy feet.
I took out my earbuds becauseI've learned speakerphone.
Helps me stay more neutral.
I softened my body and I took along, quiet exhale, and then I

(09:08):
had a moment of clarity.
I said to the other person, I'msorry for this misunderstanding,
and I ended the call.
Kindly.
I then stood up, took fivebreaths, and I said out loud,
that is one difficult person,and I'm moving on.
Then I sat down to record thispodcast.

(09:30):
Had I not caught my anxiety, Iwould've carried that
conversation into this moment.
Mentally and physically, and I'mquite sure that I would not have
got this podcast done today.
That's what this practiceprotects you from.
When you learn to ground yourbody in the present, you don't
just calm anxiety.

(09:51):
You also stop the catastrophicthoughts before they snowball.
remember, your anxiety is yoursto manage, not theirs, to
absorb.
Your Inner Challenge this weekis simple.
Catch your anxiety once a dayand try the 92nd reset.
Know your signal and name it.

(10:13):
Say in a playful way.
Come back.
Come back.
Ground your feet.
Notice your breath.
And soften your body.
You don't have to eliminateanxiety.
You just have to interrupt thecycle before it runs the show.
In this episode, you'vediscovered that anxiety pulls
your mind into the future orpast your body brings you back

(10:37):
to the now.
The first skill is noticing youranxiety through your own unique
signals.
The second is grounding yourawareness in your body.
Using breath, movement andcuriosity.
And remember, you only need 90seconds to shift your state.
I am really excited forThursday's episode, which is

(10:58):
gonna build on this using yourFive senses as powerful tools to
remain grounded, present, andcalm when life gets loud.
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Thursday with more
creating midlife Calm.