Ep. 189: How To Immediately Reduce Your Midlife Stress & Anxiety With These Easy & Fundamental Coping Skills

Ever feel like your mind is spiraling but your body can’t catch up?
You’re not alone—midlife anxiety and stress often demand more than just logic or positive thinking.
In this episode, you’ll discover:

1. Why your five senses are some of the fastest, most effective coping skills for anxiety and stress
2. What to do when your usual calming strategies aren’t enough to reset your system
3. How to build a personal “grounding routine” using sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste

 Take 10 minutes to calm your body and quiet your mind—you’re worth it.

 Listener Freebie Offering
Need help calming down right now?
I’ve recorded a Crickets Sound Reset—a peaceful, grounding MP3 to help soothe anxiety, especially during overwhelm or at bedtime.
To receive it, email MJ directly at:
[e-mail]

Send us a text

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About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Episode Transcript

MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this episode, you'll discover how to
use your senses to ease youranxiety.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, the podcast where you and
I tackle stress and anxiety inmidlife so you can stop feeling
like crap, feel more present athome, and thrive at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon a LicensedClinical Social Worker with over

(00:21):
50,000 hours of therapy sessionsand 32 years of teaching
practical science-backed mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast.
This is a week where I have moreto do at work than time to
accomplish it.
When I came home the othernight, my shoulders were tense.
My mind was busy making upscenarios about insurance
companies being out to get me.

(00:43):
When I got home, I wanted to befully present with my daughter
who was visiting.
After dinner.
I went for a walk to let it allgo.
As I walked down my driveway.
I couldn't help but hear thesymphony of crickets in the
woods next to my house.
I walked for 10 minutes lettingthe sound surround me.
I did a few arm circles and letthe anxiety and stress of the

(01:06):
day go.
I was odd, truly odd, justthinking about how many billions
of tiny creatures it takes tomake so much noise.
And I was reminded howpowerfully calming our senses
can be with just a littleintention.
I thought to myself, this wouldmake a good podcast episode.

(01:30):
So in this episode, you'lldiscover why your five senses
are powerful tools for calminganxiety in the moment, what to
do when your body-basedgrounding skills aren't enough
to interrupt the spiralingthoughts and how to create a
custom grounding routine usingsight, sound, touch, taste, and

(01:51):
smell.
It won't cost you a cent, and ittakes very little time.
But first, let's revisitMonday's Inner Challenge.
From episode 180 7, I invitedyou to try to catch your anxiety
once a day when it starts andthen interrupt it.
Using a 92nd body-based reset,you are encouraged to name your

(02:13):
anxiety signals, ground yourfeet, and soften your body.
How'd you do?
Remember noticing your anxietyis the first step, and instead
of letting it run amuck, you canuse simple coping skills to ease
it.
But what happens when youranxiety is louder, when it
pushes harder and the body aloneisn't quite enough to reset it?

(02:37):
When your anxiety floods yoursystem, your body enters fight,
flight, freeze, or fawn.
You might not know what fawn is.
Fawn is when your reaction to anevent that causes anxiety is to
overly accommodate by peoplepleasing or not really listening
to what you need to do.
Your thoughts spin into thefuture or loop around a fear,

(03:01):
but your senses are alwayspresent.
Your senses are the fastest pathto what's real, what's happening
right now.
Dr.
Dan Siegel, a clinical professorof psychiatry and a pioneer in
the field of interpersonalneurobiology, created the Wheel
of awareness, a practice thathelps people shift their

(03:22):
attention to different parts oftheir Inner and outer
experience.
One key part of the wheel isdirecting attention to the five
senses.
This isn't just mindfulness.
It's a scientific way to anchoryourself.
In the present and calm yournervous system.
When I teach my mental wellnessprogram, Inner Challenge, this

(03:44):
part of the wheel is the onepeople love the most.
You might be like many of mystudents walking around with
your senses online, but notreally aware of how helpful they
can be unless of course youtaste something you don't.
Your census help anchor youbecause they send information
straight to the lower brain.

(04:04):
The part responsible forsurvival, regulation, and
safety, unlike thoughts whichare filtered in future focused,
your sensory data is immediate.
That's why sensory groundingworks even when logic doesn't.
It also explains why tellingyourself you shouldn't be
stressed, you shouldn't beanxious.

(04:25):
Rarely works, but groundingyourself, reregulating your
nervous system with breath workand using your senses that can
offer.
Real relief and calm.
And guess what Science supportsthis.
Studies in neurobiology showthat engaging the senses
activates the vagus nerve, whichhelps reregulate your nervous

(04:49):
system and shift your body.
Out of high alert, even a fewseconds of focused sensory input
can lower your heart rate,deepen your breath, and relax
your muscles.
Okay.
Let's walk through how to useeach of the five senses as a
coping strategy.
We are built to use our senses.
You do not need a master'sdegree in this.

(05:10):
You do not need to spend hoursdoing this.
Often what I have seen is whenpeople are anxious, they turn to
the senses, but they don'talways turn to using them in a
way that leans towards calming.
And that's really key if youwant your senses to help
reregulate your nervous system.
Let's start with sight.

(05:32):
Look around you find five thingsin your environment with a
specific color or texture, likefive blue things or five soft
items.
Move your awareness to thoseitems.
Earlier this summer, I watchedthe World's Best Swim teacher.
Do this with a student who wasterrified of the water.

(05:52):
she asked him, what's yourfavorite color?
And of course he said blue as hewas putting up a pretty big
tantrum.
To avoid getting into a bluepool.
She replied, let's look for bluethings in no time.
They did, and then she gentlygot him to sit at the pool's
edge.
How about the sense of sound?

(06:13):
You might not know this, butsound has three layers the far
away.
Cars, sirens, the medium, aticking clock, the near your
breath or heartbeat.
This brings your focus from theabstract to the immediate.
I do this almost every night.
When I fall asleep, I lay in mybed and I listen to the

(06:35):
crickets.
I bring my attention back to myclock ticking, and then.
I listen to my breath.
It's incredibly grounding.
What about touch?
Grab something nearby.
I just picked up my waterbottle.
It's cool and it's smooth.
You could pick up a pillow, atextured fabric, or even your
own hands and bring yourawareness to it and feel it

(06:58):
fully.
I am not sure anyone in theworld loves soft things more
than my grandson.
I watch him calm down as herolls on a soft blanket or
carries one of his belovedstuffed animals.
The need to be comforted toself-soothe is ageless.
That's why hugs can be veryhelpful when you're anxious.

(07:19):
What about the sense of smell?
This is really interesting.
Smell bypasses thinking and goesstraight to memory and emotion.
Keeping a calming scent nearby.
Lavender, lemon, peppermint, orsomething nostalgic can be so
calming.
Why do you think we all lovethose scented candles?

(07:40):
One of the most helpful tricksto calm a panic attack is scent.
A few months ago, a client whowas struggling with panic bought
a beautiful necklace designed tohold drops of essential oil.
That small scent cue helped herreset in moments.
And lastly, taste.
This is probably the scent thatwe use the most and we are the

(08:03):
most familiar with.
But did you know that a strongtaste can interrupt anxiety on
the spot?
Try sour candy a mint.
A sip of tea slowly andmindfully.
One of my clients said it best,I used to eat mindlessly to calm
my anxiety.

(08:23):
Now I have my favorite tea forwhen I really need to calm down.
Let's put this all together.
When your anxiety overwhelms,you combine body-based grounding
with your senses.
What is body-based grounding?
You move your awareness to yourfeet and you breathe slowly.
Just breathe in, breathe out.

(08:46):
You are taking your own wellnessinto your hands and calming down
your central nervous system, andthen you reach for peppermint
tea, or you listen to thecrickets, or you look and touch
something beautiful.
You are creating a layeredcoping skill.
One that involves your wholebody, not just your brain.

(09:09):
You're telling your nervoussystem.
I'm safe.
I'm here.
I got this.
Remember those crickets Imentioned earlier?
I was so blown away by theirsound that I recorded them and
turned it into an MP three thatyou can use on your phone.
It's a short calming audio youcan play when your mind feels

(09:30):
overstimulated or you're tryingto wind down for sleep.
You close your eyes.
Let the sound anchor you in thepresent and let your nervous
system soften.
if you'd like my cricket soundreset, just send me an email
[e-mail] Let metell you, those crickets are

(09:51):
incredible.
In this episode, you discoveredhow to engage your five senses,
sight, sound, touch, smell, andtaste to support your body When
anxiety feels intense, youlearned why sensory, grounding
calms the nervous system and howto build your own reset routine
even in the middle of astressful day.

(10:13):
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Monday with more
creating midlife calm.