September 18, 2025 • 13 mins
Do you know how the natural comfort of Fall can be used as a science-backed way to calm anxiety?
You’re not alone—many in midlife overlook how the season itself can offer coping skills that reduce stress and restore resilience.
In this episode, you’ll discover:
1. How to add physical comfort in ways that calm your nervous system and reduce midlife stress
2. Simple but powerful psychospiritual coping skills for anxiety
3. How environmental and social comfort can strengthen calm and ease midlife anxiety in everyday life
Take 12 minutes to reduce stress and anxiety with four science-backed coping skills that lean into the comfort of Fall!
****
About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.
Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this episode, you'll discover how to
lean into the comfort of fall tobuild four practical coping
skills to ease your anxiety.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (00:08):
Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, the
podcast where you and I tacklestress and anxiety in midlife so
you can stop feeling like crap,feel more present at home, and
thrive at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon a LicensedClinical Social Worker with over
50,000 hours of therapy sessionsand 32 years of teaching
(00:29):
practical science-backed mentalwellness.
M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:32):
Welcome to the podcast.
On Monday, episode 1 94, weexplored how fall routines can
become anchors for your mentalhealth.
We talked about the differencebetween soothing and comfort,
and I introduced you toCatherine KBAs Science-Backed
Comfort Theory.
In today's episode, you aregonna learn why fall is the
(00:53):
perfect time to up your game.
When it comes to managing youranxiety.
I'm gonna continue to build onKBAs research on the theory of
comfort and give you four copingskills that you can begin to
implement this fall to not onlylean into this beautiful season,
but to feel less anxious, morecalm.
(01:15):
In Monday's episode, your InnerChallenge was to choose one
comfort ritual and add it toyour fall routine.
Maybe you try to warm blanketand tea before bed or paused at
night to breathe in the crispfall air.
As the season shifts many of usfeel.
Burst of renewed energy, andthis is a perfect time to lean
(01:36):
into giving yourself a littlemore boost when it comes to your
mental wellness.
Before we dive in, let's go backto the difference between
soothing and comfort.
Soothing is short term, it numbsor distracts.
Think about binging on comfortfood, scrolling endlessly or
pouring another glass of wine.
(01:56):
These things will quiet youranxiety in the moment, but they
may leave you feeling worselater.
Comfort on the other hand.
Is restorative.
It doesn't just take the edgeoff.
It grounds you in the present.
It calms your body and it givesyou a sense of stability that
you can return to again andagain.
(02:18):
That's why comfort is worthbuilding.
It strengthens you instead ofdepleting you.
Doing this in fall taps intowhat psychologists call the
fresh start effect, the naturalmotivation you get when seasons
or routines change.
Fall is already a season oftransformation, so why not add
(02:40):
comfort?
As a coping skill.
That way you are working withthe season instead of against
it, and it allows you to enjoyall the good things.
This season brings pumpkinspice, lattes, trick or treating
and family traditions.
I found it fascinating to thinkof comfort.
As a coping skill, KatherineKolcaba, a nurse and a
(03:03):
researcher, described comfort asthe state that makes you feel
stronger.
Take that in Comfort is a statethat makes you feel stronger.
I think comfort often gets a badrap.
I often think people thinkcomfort is the easy way out, but
what KBAs research is telling usis it's exactly the opposite of
(03:27):
that.
She explained that comfort showsup in four parts of your life,
your body.
Your Inner world, yourrelationships, and your
surroundings.
Take that in for a minute.
What would it be like if youbegan to try to cultivate
comfort in your body, in yourInner world, in your
(03:49):
relationships and yoursurroundings when you understand
the difference between comfortand soothing, and you put it in
the context of these four partsof your life, I think it's
really transformative.
This matters for anxiety becausediscomfort, whether it's
physical tension, restlessthoughts, strained
(04:12):
relationships, or chaoticenvironments feeds anxiety.
Keeps it alive.
But when you intentionally buildcomfort in these areas, you are
going to interrupt that cycle.
Your body will feel safer, yourmind steadier your heart more
connected.
Comfort actually becomes ascience backed coping skill that
(04:33):
reduces anxiety and strengthensresilience.
Go figure who says all this hasto be hard and uncomfortable,
certainly not me.
And tying this into fall, aseason of comfort makes it both
useful and a fun way to up yourgame when it comes to creating
(04:53):
calm.
So let's start with coping skillnumber one, physical comfort.
Your physical comfort mattersand only you can really know if
you're comfortable.
Anxiety often robs you of thatawareness, leaving your body
stuck in overdrive You might getso used to tight shoulders,
(05:14):
erasing heart or restless sleepthat you don't even notice how
much discomfort you're carryinguntil it becomes serious this
fall.
Slow down, pause and take timeto check in with your body.
How does it feel?
What does it need?
Sometimes something as simple asa massage, adjusting the chair
(05:35):
at your computer, replacing wornshoes, or getting up and walking
around and stretching after.
Sitting for an hour or so canmake all the difference.
Physical comfort is about relieffrom discomfort, warmth,
relaxation, or good rest.
(05:55):
And it matters for anxietybecause the body is where stress
shows up first.
When you restore comfort,perhaps by trying a weighted
blanket that calms your nervoussystem, or a short evening walk,
that resets tension.
You send your body the message,I'm safe.
One of the biggest shifts I'veseen in my client's mental
(06:17):
health is when they finallyinvest in a good mattress.
If your mattress is as old asyour midlife, it might be time
to replace it, and doing so canimprove both physical and mental
wellbeing.
Once your body feels safe, thenext step is to turn inward and
restore comfort to your Innerworld coping skill.
(06:40):
Number two is psychospiritualcomfort.
You might be saying, what isPsychospiritual?
Psychospiritual comfort is aboutfinding meaning, self-awareness,
and Inner peace.
Things anxiety, often steal fromyou in midlife One simple way to
bring this back is by creating aposter in your home that says
(07:03):
this fall we are grateful for,and invite everyone you live
with to add to it as the weeksgo on.
I have had many families do thisover the years, and one of the
really powerful shifts it makesis that people begin to learn
about each other through thelens of gratitude.
Gratitude is so important.
(07:26):
Research shows that gratitudelowers anxiety, improves sleep,
boosts overall wellbeing byrewiring your brain to notice
safety and abundance.
Gratitude isn't just somesentimental nice idea.
It's a scientific proven way tocalm your nervous system and
(07:47):
build resilience.
One of my clients has reallyinspired me with her morning
practice.
She was a person that everymorning when she woke up, her
body was a buzz and in responseto that buzz, her mind would
start racing and create storiesof things to feel anxious about.
(08:08):
She started a gratitudepractice, a simple pen and
notebook by her bed, and everymorning she would make herself
write five things.
She was grateful for somemornings it was easy.
Other mornings she had to pushherself, but then after a few
months.
Something incredible happened.
She would wake up and her mindwould go to thinking about what
(08:31):
she was grateful for.
She had actually rewired herbrain.
That gratitude transformed intocomfort, a psycho-spiritual
coping skill.
Once your spirit feels steadier,the next step is to shape your
environment so it supports calminstead of stress.
(08:53):
Environmental comfort comes fromshaping the spaces around you so
they reduce stress instead ofadding to it.
Your home, your workplace, evenyour car anxiety is often
heightened by clutter, harshlighting or overstimulation
things you may not notice untilyour body is already on edge
(09:15):
this fall.
Think about how your environmentcan actively soothe you.
I encourage you as I do with allmy clients, to use a full
spectrum light that can helpregulate circadian rhythm when
days grow shorter.
This improves mood and energyand it is scientifically based.
(09:36):
Every October I put a sign on atable in my office reminding my
clients.
It's time for their fullspectrum lights.
Often my clients resist asuggestion, but once they try
it, they're surprised at howmuch it helps Because autumn is
the start of lots of newroutines I encourage you to ask
(09:57):
everyone in your family to playwhat I call the notice game,
every person who lives in thehouse three times a day notices
something that's out of placeand then puts it away.
As they do it, they yell, noticeone.
Notice two or notice three.
Think about it.
If you live with four peoplethat's 12 items, cluttering your
(10:19):
space, making your environmentprone to anxiety that are put
away, that says, did you do yourthree notices today?
Don't forget to add autumntouches to your house and your
office.
Like candle scented withcinnamon or cedar, they can
actually reduce stress.
(10:40):
Research shows that pleasantscent trigger the brain's
relaxation response.
As your energy naturally turnsinward toward your home, this
season gives special attentionto creating spaces that restore
calm.
And finally, comfort growsstronger when it's shared with
others, which leads me to copingskill.
Number four, what Kolcaba callssociocultural comfort, or I call
(11:06):
friendship.
Sociocultural.
Comfort comes from belonging,relationships, and shared
rituals.
Things that are especiallyimportant in midlife when
responsibilities can leave youfeeling isolated.
Anxiety thrives in isolation,but comfort grows when it's
shared.
One of the biggest challenges ofmidlife is to pack schedules.
(11:29):
They often leave you little timefor adult connection.
Here's a couple hacks.
This one's a radical idea.
Skip one of your kids' routinegames and go for coffee with
your spouse or friend.
I coached baseball and softballfor years, and I can tell you it
is okay to miss a Saturdaymorning soccer game.
(11:50):
Or if you're at the game, walkthe field with another parent
while your partner keeps watchof the other kids.
Then switch at halftime.
If you're past that life stage,try a fall book club at your
library or a short term seasonaljob like working at a pumpkin
patch.
Trust me, they're always lookingfor workers.
One of my clients did this justto be part of the fall fun and
(12:13):
ended up loving the communityconnection.
At abroad.
Science shows that socialconnection lowers anxiety by
reducing stress hormones Andboosting oxytocin, the bonding
chemical that calms your nervoussystem.
By weaving comfort intorelationships, you remind
yourself you don't have to facemidlife stress alone.
(12:35):
In this episode, you discoveredhow to lean into Autumn and
Katherine Kolcaba, theory ofcomfort to increase your coping
skills when it comes to anxietyCoping skill.
Number one, increase yourphysical comfort, warmth, rest,
gentle movement, coping skillNumber two, psychospiritual,
(12:56):
comfort meaning and Inner calm.
Through gratitude and mindfulawareness, coping skill number
three, environmental comfort,shaping your surroundings, your
home, your office, and your carwith light, scent, and seasonal
touches and coping skill.
Number four, socio-culturalcomfort, drawing, belonging, and
(13:19):
strength from your friends, yourrelationships, and your
community.
Each layer of comfort isn't anindulgence, it's science, and
together they form a protectiveshield against midlife anxiety.
Think about which coping skillyou need the most right now.
Body, spirit, environment, orrelationship.
(13:41):
Trust what surfaces and juststart small.
One step is enough to beginshifting your anxiety into calm.
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Monday with more
creating midlife calm.
In this episode, you'll discover how to
lean into the comfort of fall tobuild four practical coping
skills to ease your anxiety.
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (00:08):
Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, the
podcast where you and I tacklestress and anxiety in midlife so
you can stop feeling like crap,feel more present at home, and
thrive at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon a LicensedClinical Social Worker with over
50,000 hours of therapy sessionsand 32 years of teaching
(00:29):
practical science-backed mentalwellness.
M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:32):
Welcome to the podcast.
On Monday, episode 1 94, weexplored how fall routines can
become anchors for your mentalhealth.
We talked about the differencebetween soothing and comfort,
and I introduced you toCatherine KBAs Science-Backed
Comfort Theory.
In today's episode, you aregonna learn why fall is the
(00:53):
perfect time to up your game.
When it comes to managing youranxiety.
I'm gonna continue to build onKBAs research on the theory of
comfort and give you four copingskills that you can begin to
implement this fall to not onlylean into this beautiful season,
but to feel less anxious, morecalm.
(01:15):
In Monday's episode, your InnerChallenge was to choose one
comfort ritual and add it toyour fall routine.
Maybe you try to warm blanketand tea before bed or paused at
night to breathe in the crispfall air.
As the season shifts many of usfeel.
Burst of renewed energy, andthis is a perfect time to lean
(01:36):
into giving yourself a littlemore boost when it comes to your
mental wellness.
Before we dive in, let's go backto the difference between
soothing and comfort.
Soothing is short term, it numbsor distracts.
Think about binging on comfortfood, scrolling endlessly or
pouring another glass of wine.
(01:56):
These things will quiet youranxiety in the moment, but they
may leave you feeling worselater.
Comfort on the other hand.
Is restorative.
It doesn't just take the edgeoff.
It grounds you in the present.
It calms your body and it givesyou a sense of stability that
you can return to again andagain.
(02:18):
That's why comfort is worthbuilding.
It strengthens you instead ofdepleting you.
Doing this in fall taps intowhat psychologists call the
fresh start effect, the naturalmotivation you get when seasons
or routines change.
Fall is already a season oftransformation, so why not add
(02:40):
comfort?
As a coping skill.
That way you are working withthe season instead of against
it, and it allows you to enjoyall the good things.
This season brings pumpkinspice, lattes, trick or treating
and family traditions.
I found it fascinating to thinkof comfort.
As a coping skill, KatherineKolcaba, a nurse and a
(03:03):
researcher, described comfort asthe state that makes you feel
stronger.
Take that in Comfort is a statethat makes you feel stronger.
I think comfort often gets a badrap.
I often think people thinkcomfort is the easy way out, but
what KBAs research is telling usis it's exactly the opposite of
(03:27):
that.
She explained that comfort showsup in four parts of your life,
your body.
Your Inner world, yourrelationships, and your
surroundings.
Take that in for a minute.
What would it be like if youbegan to try to cultivate
comfort in your body, in yourInner world, in your
(03:49):
relationships and yoursurroundings when you understand
the difference between comfortand soothing, and you put it in
the context of these four partsof your life, I think it's
really transformative.
This matters for anxiety becausediscomfort, whether it's
physical tension, restlessthoughts, strained
(04:12):
relationships, or chaoticenvironments feeds anxiety.
Keeps it alive.
But when you intentionally buildcomfort in these areas, you are
going to interrupt that cycle.
Your body will feel safer, yourmind steadier your heart more
connected.
Comfort actually becomes ascience backed coping skill that
(04:33):
reduces anxiety and strengthensresilience.
Go figure who says all this hasto be hard and uncomfortable,
certainly not me.
And tying this into fall, aseason of comfort makes it both
useful and a fun way to up yourgame when it comes to creating
(04:53):
calm.
So let's start with coping skillnumber one, physical comfort.
Your physical comfort mattersand only you can really know if
you're comfortable.
Anxiety often robs you of thatawareness, leaving your body
stuck in overdrive You might getso used to tight shoulders,
(05:14):
erasing heart or restless sleepthat you don't even notice how
much discomfort you're carryinguntil it becomes serious this
fall.
Slow down, pause and take timeto check in with your body.
How does it feel?
What does it need?
Sometimes something as simple asa massage, adjusting the chair
(05:35):
at your computer, replacing wornshoes, or getting up and walking
around and stretching after.
Sitting for an hour or so canmake all the difference.
Physical comfort is about relieffrom discomfort, warmth,
relaxation, or good rest.
(05:55):
And it matters for anxietybecause the body is where stress
shows up first.
When you restore comfort,perhaps by trying a weighted
blanket that calms your nervoussystem, or a short evening walk,
that resets tension.
You send your body the message,I'm safe.
One of the biggest shifts I'veseen in my client's mental
(06:17):
health is when they finallyinvest in a good mattress.
If your mattress is as old asyour midlife, it might be time
to replace it, and doing so canimprove both physical and mental
wellbeing.
Once your body feels safe, thenext step is to turn inward and
restore comfort to your Innerworld coping skill.
(06:40):
Number two is psychospiritualcomfort.
You might be saying, what isPsychospiritual?
Psychospiritual comfort is aboutfinding meaning, self-awareness,
and Inner peace.
Things anxiety, often steal fromyou in midlife One simple way to
bring this back is by creating aposter in your home that says
(07:03):
this fall we are grateful for,and invite everyone you live
with to add to it as the weeksgo on.
I have had many families do thisover the years, and one of the
really powerful shifts it makesis that people begin to learn
about each other through thelens of gratitude.
Gratitude is so important.
(07:26):
Research shows that gratitudelowers anxiety, improves sleep,
boosts overall wellbeing byrewiring your brain to notice
safety and abundance.
Gratitude isn't just somesentimental nice idea.
It's a scientific proven way tocalm your nervous system and
(07:47):
build resilience.
One of my clients has reallyinspired me with her morning
practice.
She was a person that everymorning when she woke up, her
body was a buzz and in responseto that buzz, her mind would
start racing and create storiesof things to feel anxious about.
(08:08):
She started a gratitudepractice, a simple pen and
notebook by her bed, and everymorning she would make herself
write five things.
She was grateful for somemornings it was easy.
Other mornings she had to pushherself, but then after a few
months.
Something incredible happened.
She would wake up and her mindwould go to thinking about what
(08:31):
she was grateful for.
She had actually rewired herbrain.
That gratitude transformed intocomfort, a psycho-spiritual
coping skill.
Once your spirit feels steadier,the next step is to shape your
environment so it supports calminstead of stress.
(08:53):
Environmental comfort comes fromshaping the spaces around you so
they reduce stress instead ofadding to it.
Your home, your workplace, evenyour car anxiety is often
heightened by clutter, harshlighting or overstimulation
things you may not notice untilyour body is already on edge
(09:15):
this fall.
Think about how your environmentcan actively soothe you.
I encourage you as I do with allmy clients, to use a full
spectrum light that can helpregulate circadian rhythm when
days grow shorter.
This improves mood and energyand it is scientifically based.
(09:36):
Every October I put a sign on atable in my office reminding my
clients.
It's time for their fullspectrum lights.
Often my clients resist asuggestion, but once they try
it, they're surprised at howmuch it helps Because autumn is
the start of lots of newroutines I encourage you to ask
(09:57):
everyone in your family to playwhat I call the notice game,
every person who lives in thehouse three times a day notices
something that's out of placeand then puts it away.
As they do it, they yell, noticeone.
Notice two or notice three.
Think about it.
If you live with four peoplethat's 12 items, cluttering your
(10:19):
space, making your environmentprone to anxiety that are put
away, that says, did you do yourthree notices today?
Don't forget to add autumntouches to your house and your
office.
Like candle scented withcinnamon or cedar, they can
actually reduce stress.
(10:40):
Research shows that pleasantscent trigger the brain's
relaxation response.
As your energy naturally turnsinward toward your home, this
season gives special attentionto creating spaces that restore
calm.
And finally, comfort growsstronger when it's shared with
others, which leads me to copingskill.
Number four, what Kolcaba callssociocultural comfort, or I call
(11:06):
friendship.
Sociocultural.
Comfort comes from belonging,relationships, and shared
rituals.
Things that are especiallyimportant in midlife when
responsibilities can leave youfeeling isolated.
Anxiety thrives in isolation,but comfort grows when it's
shared.
One of the biggest challenges ofmidlife is to pack schedules.
(11:29):
They often leave you little timefor adult connection.
Here's a couple hacks.
This one's a radical idea.
Skip one of your kids' routinegames and go for coffee with
your spouse or friend.
I coached baseball and softballfor years, and I can tell you it
is okay to miss a Saturdaymorning soccer game.
(11:50):
Or if you're at the game, walkthe field with another parent
while your partner keeps watchof the other kids.
Then switch at halftime.
If you're past that life stage,try a fall book club at your
library or a short term seasonaljob like working at a pumpkin
patch.
Trust me, they're always lookingfor workers.
One of my clients did this justto be part of the fall fun and
(12:13):
ended up loving the communityconnection.
At abroad.
Science shows that socialconnection lowers anxiety by
reducing stress hormones Andboosting oxytocin, the bonding
chemical that calms your nervoussystem.
By weaving comfort intorelationships, you remind
yourself you don't have to facemidlife stress alone.
(12:35):
In this episode, you discoveredhow to lean into Autumn and
Katherine Kolcaba, theory ofcomfort to increase your coping
skills when it comes to anxietyCoping skill.
Number one, increase yourphysical comfort, warmth, rest,
gentle movement, coping skillNumber two, psychospiritual,
(12:56):
comfort meaning and Inner calm.
Through gratitude and mindfulawareness, coping skill number
three, environmental comfort,shaping your surroundings, your
home, your office, and your carwith light, scent, and seasonal
touches and coping skill.
Number four, socio-culturalcomfort, drawing, belonging, and
(13:19):
strength from your friends, yourrelationships, and your
community.
Each layer of comfort isn't anindulgence, it's science, and
together they form a protectiveshield against midlife anxiety.
Think about which coping skillyou need the most right now.
Body, spirit, environment, orrelationship.
(13:41):
Trust what surfaces and juststart small.
One step is enough to beginshifting your anxiety into calm.
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Monday with more
creating midlife calm.
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