Ep. 214 Forget Gratitude Lists - This 1 Midlife Coping Skill Will Instantly Add Connection & Zap Holiday Stress and Anxiety

What if the secret to a calmer, happier holiday isn't what you add—but what you leave out?
You’re not alone if holiday gatherings bring stress, distraction, and midlife anxiety instead of the peace you crave.
In this episode, you’ll discover:
1.    The one “ingredient” that quietly steals connection at the holiday table
2.    Why small boundaries create huge relief for midlife stress and anxiety
3.    A simple, science-backed coping skill that restores laughter, calm, and presence
 Take four minutes to reclaim calm, connection, and joy this holiday—you’re worth it.

Send us a text

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About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Episode Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this episode, you'll discover the one
ingredient to leave out of yourThanksgiving feast.

MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (00:06):
Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, the
podcast where you and I tacklestress and anxiety in midlife so
you can stop feeling like crap,feel more present at home, and
thrive at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon a LicensedClinical Social Worker with over
50,000 hours of therapy sessionsand 32 years of teaching

(00:27):
practical science-backed mentalwellness.

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:30):
Welcome to the podcast.
For many of you listening, it'sThanksgiving week at this busy
time of year, I hope you'll giveme just four minutes to share
One thing.
I'm certain can make yourholiday feel more peaceful and
connected.
This week's episode is a littledifferent.
It's short, lighthearted, andmeant to be shared.

(00:53):
My mom was a poet, not MaryOliver, but the kind who wrote
Simple Witty four stands uppoems for special occasions.
My sisters and I have carried onher tradition writing our own
over the years for birthdays,holidays, and family gatherings.
So Today I'm sharing thattradition with you, a short poem

(01:16):
I wrote to help you with one ofthe biggest challenges your
holidays face.
Whether you're hostingThanksgiving, eating out, or
joining someone else's table,you can play this before dinner
or send it ahead as kind of aninvitation for connection and
calm.
You don't even have to say whatit's about.

(01:38):
Just tell people, it's a generalreminder to bring their presence
to the table.
And I don't mean the kinds ofwrap sometimes the smallest
shifts make the biggestdifference in how the day feels.
So here it is from my familytradition to yours.
The one ingredient to leave outthe table is ready.

(02:02):
The candle's a glow andeveryone's finding their place.
But one small distraction cansteal the show and dim the
warmth on each face.
It's not the dry Turkey or piesthat are burnt that keep this
holiday from cheer.
It's that uninvited guest weseldom confront.

(02:23):
The phone that's always near.
So on this day of Gratitude'sGrace, as you gather with those
you adore, the first act ofthanks is a sacred space where
your phone stays by the door,leave them in coats or a basket
near.
Invite your guests to join intothe world can wait.

(02:47):
Be fully here.
Let presence be what you do forthe children, teens and young
adults, you'll give them a giftthat will last a taste of the
joy we once all knew.
When families gathered notscrolled in the past, You won't
miss a thing.

(03:07):
Real laughter will thrill.
No buzz, no beep, no ping.
You'll taste the food moredeeply still and hear every
story they bring.
Because calm is found whereconnection begins, not in a
phone's blue light.
So pass the rolls, the love, thegrins, and stay unplugged

(03:30):
tonight.
So that's your reminder from myfamily to yours.
Phones down, eyes up, and heartsopen wide.
Let Thanksgiving be the feastthat fills you.
Not your newsfeed on the side.
So your Inner Challenge thisweek is simple.
Uninvite your phone toThanksgiving and share this

(03:51):
episode with the people you'llbe celebrating with because
calm, laughter, and connectiontastes better when everyone is
fully at the table.
And if you'd like more calm thisweek, you can revisit my holiday
episodes from last year episodes1 0 1 through 1 0 6.
They'll help you with stress,anxiety.

(04:11):
And those tricky family momentsthat tend to show up with the
stuffing.
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Thursday with another
mini episode to help you Have awonderful holiday.
I.