Episode Transcript
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Jennifer Logue (00:10):
Hello and
welcome to Creative Space, a
podcast where we explore, learnand grow in creativity together
and in the we I really includemyself in that.
My name is Jennifer Logue andI'm your host, who's been a bit
MIA these last few months.
Now, about that, I reallyappreciate you tuning in.
(00:33):
After my six month plus hiatus,I feel like I should have
called or at least like let youguys know what was going on
instead of my Irish exit.
But I literally needed somecreative space to figure out
some things for myself, and it'sbeen quite the adventure.
(00:54):
A friend asked me recently whatI've been working on since
starting my podcast Sabbaticaland while there have been quite
a few songwriting sessions and afew scripts alongside my
coaching practice, I've been inthe midst of perhaps the biggest
creative project I've ever had,and that's making over my own
life.
(01:14):
Blame it on the day job, right,that's the beauty about being a
coach.
Sure, your clients benefit fromyour coaching, but I've found
myself inspired by my clients aswell and, like my clients, I
have a coach, someone to shine alight on limiting beliefs and
dreams I had buried but keptcalling me.
(01:34):
So one of those dreams a bigone was to move to the West
Coast, la in particular.
It's been in the back of mymind since my New York days.
That's a really long time ago,but for whatever reason, I
meandered on the path gettingthere.
As much as I love my hometownof Philly, I never meant to stay
(01:57):
as long as I did after leavingNew York.
The initial plan was to save upfor a car, work on my driving
and then go to LA, but I endedup putting down roots in Philly
and I even went so far as buyinga house.
So for a long time, saving upfor that house was my goal, and
(02:17):
because I was so laser-focusedon it, it was easy to
compartmentalize other dreams,like that West Coast chapter.
So I guess I altered myoriginal plan.
I thought I'll buy my house andthen I'll simply just travel
more.
But getting a house didn'texactly go super smoothly.
I put offers on dozens ofhouses in 2021.
(02:40):
And, being a single woman, itwas extra challenging competing
with buyers with all cash.
Where do they come from, Idon't know.
Or like the dual incomehouseholds.
And I remember in Philly at thetime I was doing Airbnb because
I didn't want to commit to alease of any kind until I had
locked in my mortgage.
(03:01):
I even gave up coffee until Igot my house.
Like I was so laser focused, Iwould tell myself coffee is for
closers and that was a littlebrutal, but it was definitely
motivating for me to achievethat goal.
But was it the right goal?
I don't know.
Sometimes, you know, you go toclimb a mountain and then you
get to the top and you realize,oh no, this isn't the mountain
(03:23):
that I wanted.
So in the midst of all that, Iremember I was taking a walk
after work and it was abeautiful, sunny fall day and
out of nowhere a thought came tome like maybe I should just
give up on this whole housething and move to LA.
I remember I stopped for amoment and I sat on a nearby
(03:45):
bench to think about it.
I had put an offer on a houseand it was the one I ended up
buying and we were still waitingto hear back from the owner.
And, for whatever reason,despite the fact that this is
what I thought I wanted, Ididn't have a piece about it,
and a tool one of my coachestaught me years ago was to weigh
(04:10):
options by how heavy or lightthey feel.
So, even though on paper, mypros and cons list clearly
marked buying a house as thebest, most responsible, smart
thing I could do at the time,especially with those low
interest rates.
In my heart it felt heavy, itfelt like a dead end and as
(04:31):
irresponsible and random asmoving to LA looked on paper.
In my heart at the time it feltlight and right.
It just felt in alignment.
I had a peace about it.
I mean, I already had all mybelongings in my RAV4.
I didn't have any furniture atthe time, you know.
(04:51):
So in that moment I was like,wait a minute, maybe I should
just hit pause on buying a house, take my down payment and just
move to LA.
Well, spoiler alert, I ignoredmy intuition and I bought the
house in 2021 instead.
And the funny thing is, Ithought once I bought the house,
(05:12):
I would feel settled.
I thought once I bought thehouse, I would feel rooted, a
peace once I moved in.
But no, that did not happen.
Nope.
First I thought, oh, it'sbecause I need to decorate.
So decorate I did.
But no matter how cute and howcozy and how many crystals I put
(05:32):
up in that house, like thepeace did not come.
Like all the Palo Santo, likeall of like the sound healing,
none of it.
There was always this barelyaudible buzz of discontent, this
conflict within my spirit, andI knew deep down this wasn't
where I was supposed to be.
But I kept reasoning it away.
(05:55):
I kept myself busy, I threwmyself into work, into creative
projects like this podcast.
You know being social, andthere is nothing wrong with
where I lived, like, I just wantto put that out there right now
.
It's a wonderful place to live,but it's a wonderful place if
it is the place for you.
(06:16):
And what I've come to find isthat we're kind of like plants
If we're not in the rightenvironment for us, we're not
going to blossom fully.
I was starting to feel like aplant whose roots are like
growing up into the sides of thepot, you know, and just, I just
was feeling really stuck.
And it wasn't until I startedwith my current coach that I
(06:38):
even talked about the West Coastdream out loud.
I had buried it so well.
Initially we were focused ongrowing my coaching business.
But that's the thing aboutcoaching.
Sometimes that stuck feeling iscoming from goals you won't
even let yourself pursue thehardest thing.
Yeah, that's probably the thingyou should do.
(06:59):
The scarier the better, becauseI found that our fears can
teach us so much about ourselvesand how we can grow.
But anyway, the West Coast dreamcame up in one of our sessions
and I was asked what was keepingme from it and my answer it's
just a silly dream.
(07:19):
La is for people pursuing acareer in the arts and I'm too
old for that.
Now I have a house, I havestability, I have a low interest
rate.
Why would I give all of that upfor uncertainty?
Oh, and the jadedness I felt.
That's just part of gettingolder.
Sometimes you need to give up adream to have peace.
(07:40):
Listen, we can delude ourselvesinto believing so many things
and coaches just like call BS onit.
So I had so many excuses in thatsession and my coach again
called me out on it and then heasked how would you feel at 80
years old if you didn't make themove to the West Coast?
(08:00):
Now we went to the samecoaching school, so I had a
feeling this question was goingto come up, and yet it still hit
me like a ton of bricks and Isaid and I really meant it I
would deeply regret it if Ididn't take the chance.
So all of a sudden my life gotvery clear.
(08:21):
All of a sudden that innerconflict lifted, now that I was
at least entertaining the ideaof making the move to the West
Coast.
Of course the idea terrified me, like what do I do with all of
my stuff?
I can't just give up all of mynice things, the furniture.
I'm comfortable here, a housewhere I don't share walls with
(08:43):
anyone.
How would I sing in anapartment?
How would I be free to createwith neighbors or roommates?
And on and on and on.
I can best describe myselfduring this session as a cat
avoiding getting a bath.
I was like clinging to the rugs, to the furniture, clinging to
(09:04):
anything I could to avoidgetting wet.
But you know, rome wasn't builtin a day.
So by the end of the session Ifinally set a smaller goal of
spending the holidays in LA tosee if I liked it.
And I wish I could tell youthat I was excited about the
trip once I booked it.
But I was dreading it.
(09:24):
Why would I leave Christmas onthe east coast for LA?
I mean, a summer-like Christmassounded horrible to me back
then.
But I could not cancel becauseI committed to pet sitting for a
friend who was travelinginternationally.
So, as my coach gleefully saidto me, you're all in baby.
(09:45):
So yeah, I was all in, and it'sfunny like I can run half
marathons and wake up at 5am towork out every day.
It's not hard for me to eathealthy or launch businesses or
burn the midnight oil, but whenit comes to pursuing a goal that
requires losing my safe, cozyspace and my routine, it's
(10:08):
really hard for me to do.
It's very easy for me to reasonout pursuing a goal like that
at all.
So I went into my two-week LAholiday trip begrudgingly and
that's the best word I can usefor it.
I went in with zeroexpectations.
I didn't plan much of anythingreally at first.
All I had to do was get myselfthere and hang out with the cat
(10:33):
and just let the trip unfold.
Naturally, and in the interestof not making this episode too
long, that initial trip ended upbeing magical.
Like I bumped into old friendsI hadn't seen in years.
I connected with new ones.
I felt this heaviness that Ihad been carrying around begin
to lift, like I really felt myspark coming back and at first I
(10:56):
thought I could carry my sparkcoming back.
And at first I thought I couldcarry that spark with me back to
Philly Again.
Maybe I just need to travelmore.
That was the thought going intothis.
But the minute I got back homeI wanted to go back.
Even in my cozy house, my oldcomfort zone, it didn't feel
quite so comfortable anymore.
(11:17):
It felt stagnant.
It felt more like a cage nowthan a sanctuary, you know.
So that week I started makingcalls to move sometime in
January to LA, and then thewildfires happened and I was
feeling all sorts of feelings.
Back then my heart pretty muchcrumpled into a million little
(11:40):
pieces.
It was back to the drawingboard with my coach and you know
I decided maybe moving to LAright now isn't the move, but
maybe I can travel and workremotely to keep my spark alive.
You know, maybe I can set agoal of living in LA for one
(12:01):
full month before the end of2025.
And by then things hopefullywill be better here.
So I started off 2025 trying outother cities for size.
You know I spent some time inNew York to see if I liked
living there again and it wasgreat reconnecting with friends,
but the city didn't feel likehome anymore.
(12:24):
There wasn't a spark and Ireally felt in my bones that
that chapter was over.
Then I spent some time inTrolley Square in Delaware
really cute neighborhood.
I had considered buying a homethere back in 2021, and I was
like, hey, why not give it a try?
And while it was lovely tovisit and there was an amazing
(12:46):
Greek spot that I would drive toanytime, it just didn't feel
right long term, as good as thatGreek food was.
Then I thought about Nashvilleand I went to work remotely
there and again it was great tovisit, but it didn't feel like
home either.
But my Nashville trip was backin April of this year and it was
(13:09):
around that time that my LAfriend reached out again about
cat sitting in May and June.
She needed someone from May16th to May 23rd and then from
June 5th to June 16th, and upuntil that point in my mind I
had been planning on a fullmonth in LA in October and then
(13:31):
I would potentially make a movein 2026.
But now, with this newopportunity, I was like, well,
what if I did a full month inMay instead?
So to fill the gap in betweenthe two cat sits, I reached out
to an old friend who just sohappened to have a room
available in his apartmentduring that time because his
(13:52):
roommate was filming in Fiji yes, very glamorous and I could
sublet that room for a reallyinexpensive amount.
So everything was falling intoplace.
Now, despite how much everythingwas flowing and falling into
place, I still had a lot of feargoing into my one-month LA stay
.
I actually kept two separateflights booked just in case I
(14:16):
didn't want to stay in betweencat sits.
I guess I was just nervousabout working East Coast hours
on the West Coast, and then Iwas nervous about being away
from my cozy gilded cage let'scall it what it was, even though
I knew deep down I wasn't happythere.
So anyway, just a little sidenote here.
Growth is not linear.
(14:38):
It takes time to form newneural pathways, and when we're
back in our old environmentsit's easy to slip into old
habits and old ways of thinking.
So that's why, when people giveup drugs or alcohol, they also
need to give up their oldfriends and the old places they
used to hang out too, because itcan be really easy to regress.
(14:58):
So just want to make thatlittle point before I hop into
the rest of my story.
Anyway.
But four days into mymonth-long LA stay.
I was rocking and rolling, so Icancelled the return flight and
made the decision to stay thefull month.
Then an opportunity came up forme to cat sit for a month in
(15:19):
Santa Monica, where I am rightnow, and so I took it, and now
I'm here until the end of July.
So what started as a one monthtrip turned into almost three
months, and I feel myselfexpanding in so many ways and
it's hard to explain, but myfriends back home see it and I
(15:40):
feel it.
I finally feel like I'm whereI'm supposed to be in this
chapter of my life.
So what's next after this trip?
Well, this podcast episode hasgotten way too long already, so
I'll have to do a follow-up, butwhat I can say is baby, I'm
just getting started.
Oh, and, in case you'rewondering, when is she going to
(16:02):
do interviews again, I'mcurrently booking guests, so
there's a lot to look forward toover the next few months on
Creative Space.
Anyway, thank you so much forlistening to the story of my
sabbatical and return toCreative Space.
I hope it inspired you in someway to take a look at some of
those goals maybe that you'reafraid to look at and go for
(16:24):
them.
Take action.
My name is Jennifer Logue.
Until next time, thank you.