November 20, 2023 • 42 mins
From stock broker to financial adviser to… confidence coach?
In this episode I spoke with coach, trainer and keynote speaker Kim Payne, all about her creative journey. She shares her first memories of being labelled “not-creative” as a child, which shaped her journey and self-perception from thereon. That is, until another fateful experience as an adult helped her re-find her creative self.
We explore courage and expanding your comfort zones (because leaping outside your comfort zone is way too scary). And, lastly, Kim shares some tools to give you a sure-fire confidence boost whenever you need it.
Happy listening!
xo Abi
P.S. For more information about this episode and our guest, head to: www.crispcomms.co/podcast-episodes/expand-your-comfort-zone-dont-step-outside-it
Creativity: Uncovered is lovingly edited by the team at Crisp Communications.
Creativity: Uncovered is a registered Australian Trade Mark.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hello and welcome to Creativity (00:00):
Uncovered. My name is Abi Gatling and I'm on a journey
(00:11):
to uncover how everyday people find inspiration, get inventive and open their imagination.
Because basically I want to know how people find creative solutions and then how do I
use them at home, work, play and everything in between.
(00:32):
And my goal for this podcast is that by the end of it you'll be armed with a whole suite
of tried and tested ways to summon creativity the next time that you need it.
So so exciting today. Today I'm actually speaking with Kim Payne and Ki
m is kind of an enigma
(00:57):
I would say. If you've ever heard her speak at a conference or watched her videos on socials
or listened to her brand new podcast, you probably wouldn't believe that she started
out her career as a financial advisor. She's now a coach, a trainer and a public speaker
(01:17):
and she helps professionals find their purpose and realise their value. And I have so many
questions for her so why don't we just jump in. Welcome Kim.
Oh Abi, I am so excited and to sit on this side of the microphone with you and with that
glorious introduction. Bring it on. Let me do this.
(01:38):
Yes. It's a pleasure to have you here and kind of a bit of a disclosure here. I've known
Kim for about like four or five years now I would say. Yeah, about that.
Yeah. We met a while back through my husband Michael who's also a coach so it's coaching
circles. And we've actually worked together with a few clients over the years which has
(02:03):
been awesome. But yeah, Kim you're one of the most bubbliest and energetic people I know
and I love following you on socials and I know that whenever you call me it's always
going to be a good one. And so to nod back to my intro, I know it's terrible to stereotype
(02:23):
people slash careers but it is amazing to think that you started off as a financial advisor
and to see where you've travelled in your career since then. And the reason why I'm
honing on the financial advisor part is that this podcast is all about stretching people's
(02:45):
perceptions of creativity and what that is and who is creative quote unquote. And I look
at you and I see such a vibrant creative person. So I want to start there and break it down
for listeners. How did you start in finance and how did you get to where you are now?
(03:07):
That is so such a beautiful segue in and it's so funny if I can just go back when I was
in grade three. We in art class which I hated but in art class we had to create these paper
mache globes of the world and I did it and quite frankly, I thought it was quite cool
and this girl has seen it be lined over to me and looked at it and got oh my god you
(03:33):
are so not creative that is awful. And I was quite shocked and look lucky I love maths
as well. So I decided okay I'm not creative and I honestly I guess I pigeonholed myself
in the I'm the math science girl I'm not the creative type and sadly hung on to that for
(03:56):
way too long. But it's really funny I always wanted to be a doctor that was kind of my
lifelong passion and in year 10 I did work experience at a hospital. Now my surname is
Payne. They would put name tags on it so it would be like junior doctor Payne and we were
(04:16):
all just students doing work experience and they said to me do you think we could call
you Dr Kim as opposed to Dr Payne some of our patients are a bit older and they might
not float their boat. I'm like yes wait. But when I got into year 11 so I was doing all
the maths and science and when I was going into year 11 I had to pick a fifth subject
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and the only ones that would fit were things like literature and politics and humanities
they were not my cup of tea. And one of the other subjects was economics and I took it
up and Abi I fell madly in love. I know that's weird to think love and economics come out
of my mouth at the same time. But I really really loved it and so I ended up going down
(05:03):
that path. My career started in stockbroking. It moved into relationship management and
then it moved into financial advising and then consulting and coaching. But something
was always missing. I didn't know what it was and again carrying that flavour of I'm
not creative and yet over the years I actually think it's my creativity that has allowed
(05:27):
my uncovering of what was really important to me and allowing that to come to life. So
one of my core values and I'm very very clear on what my values are but one of them is laughter.
So even when I'm running workshops or I'm on stage speaking the number one or one of
the number one ingredients that I want to bring in is laughter in some way shape or
(05:47):
form getting people to smile. Let's make the work it's serious work that we've been doing
and I've been in financial services for 30 years. But how can we make it more fun and
more interesting because I actually find that we learn better and we work better when we're
also smiling and able to have a laugh at the same time. So that's kind of a little bit
(06:08):
of an interludes to where my background has always been in a very left brain world and
now I'm inviting and really encouraging the right brain into it and I'm having way more
fun way more fun.
Yeah, wow. That's sort of been like a common theme in the podcast is that there's been
(06:31):
a moment in time which has pushed people on a different journey away from creativity.
Never heard it being that young. It's usually when it gets around to like we have to get
serious yet to get you go high school you're choosing your subjects you have to choose
the serious ones or you go to uni you can't choose the fun thing you've got to get a career
(06:55):
at the end of it. It's always interesting to see where that has actually happened and
what a catalyst it is for things to come.
So can I just share as well when I was 22 my grandma took me on the fair star so a cruise
ship and on the cruise ship they had a passenger show so they kind of wanted volunteers to
(07:21):
learn a whole lot of dances and going the passenger show. I don't know why but I put
my hand up for every single dance and I got chosen in every single dance. I think there
was somewhere they didn't have the numbers I was like just put her in put her in and
I literally performed on stage. We did an earlier sitting for the six o'clock dinner
guest then we did it again at nine o'clock for the later dinner guest. At this stage
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I was studying a graduate diploma in finance and investment and I was working in stock
broken right so I get off the cruise ship and I decide I'm going to be my calling is
I'm going to be an entertainer on a cruise ship. So every night I come home from working
at stock broken doing my studies shut my bedroom door and I would rehearse all these dance moves
(08:05):
that I just learned on the fester because I was going to have to be teaching them and
about six weeks you know I was living with my dad at the time my dad he calls it a come
to Jesus meeting but it means let's have a serious chat and he said to me Kim you cannot
sing and you cannot dance get a group come back to the real world and get back to doing
what you're doing now I'm not being humble when I say I can't sing and dance and dad
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wasn't being me he was just being realistic so that was my second moment where I had a
bit of a bash in the face around you're actually not creative Kim you've got to take that on
board and run with it so yeah that these are more grown-up moment that was coupled with
my grade three moment. Okay so the door was slightly creaking open and then it was kind
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of slam shut again. Mac bang shut in my face. Yes so what did you do after that you just
gave it up or how did you progress from there? Yeah absolutely I literally got back into
my work got back into my job and became very serious over the next sort of 15-20 years
about my work. Another moment where it changed Abi was when I was a financial advisor so
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I was 29 and I was I was reasonably new in the role even though I'd been in financial
services for a fair amount of time in my career to then and I was sitting in front of this
older couple and I was delivering them the advice right the woman of the couple so the
couple would have been maybe their late 60s early 70s which back when I was 29 that was
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old now it's very young but the woman in the middle of while I'm delivering this advice
puts her hand up and says stop stop what gives you the right to give me advice you're young
and female. I was gobsmacked and I didn't have an answer I because I hadn't expected
it. From that moment on it really hit me that even though I was fully credentialed I had
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all of you know the letters after my name to be sitting in that seat giving the advice.
There was obviously something missing about her perception of me in that role as an expert
and the value that she was getting from the conversation. So from there and this really
started my move from the very left brain technical financial planning financial services into
(10:20):
okay let's explore value more deeply what is value how does it play out and you know
that was when I was 29 and female young and female I'm now still female I just not 29
or as young but value has been very much a theme of my life and I've got what I call
(10:42):
the currencies of value it's a little model that I've put together and one of the pieces
of the pie so imagine eight pieces of the pie one of the pieces of this value pie is
actually creativity because to me in order to be more valuable whether that's feeling
more valuable as a human being inside yourself whether it's the contribution and the impact
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you're making to other people's lives or how you live your life so what are the values
and the guiding principles that you live by in every single one of those three examples
creativity is such a core piece of that pie that allows you to really live your best and
fullest life so yeah there's another kind of couple of little pivotal moments where creativity
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just it keeps going you know what we're meant to be mates.
It's coming back, it keeps coming back that's so interesting on the on your pie diagram
so when you think about creativity in that sense what is coming to mind?
So let me stop by saying when I run workshops with accountants particularly the first thing
I ask them is pop your hands in the air if you think you're creative.
(11:50):
Now normally I'm lucky if even one person in the room puts their hand up then.
I mean creative accounting is something else right?
Absolutely and going back to and I know this has been a theme in past episodes of yours
people still associate creativity with art and I can't draw I can't draw stick creatures
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that means I'm not creative.
By the end of the workshop and in all these cases we do we play a lot of games we have
a lot of fun we do some serious stuff but in all cases it's about just coming up with
a solution to a problem and that is what creativity is at its essence it is coming up with a solution
to a problem sometimes that problem has existed before sometimes it's a new problem.
(12:33):
By the end the last question I have the workshop is put your hands up if you think you're creative
and 99.9% of the time everyone's hand goes up because what they realise is creativity
is everywhere in our life it is in the decisions we make the choices how we live out everything
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we do even something as simple as this morning 8.30 my neighbour is bashing on my door saying
Kim I need your car we've got to get my daughter's got to go to school camp my car's
just broken down I can't get her to camp can I have your car and I'm like no you can't
have my car because I've got to drive my son to school so I went and grabbed my keys and
said come on let's figure this out on the fly get your daughter get in the car get her
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campy I got my son and we're sitting in the car it's like right how are we going to do
this you ring the school tell them I'm on my way we did a detour blah blah blah we got
her there and then it was like okay how can we work out how can I pick her up again get
her to work all of this was going on and I thought this is creativity you know it doesn't
have to be just drawing a picture or you know creating a piece of artwork this is creativity
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so when you can understand that it's a choice and bring it into your everyday work like
how do I solve this problem or a client's come to me how do I deal with this that's
where the beautiful gold and I believe the value of creativity comes into play and if
(14:02):
I can say on that note too I started playing baseball just before I turned 48 right and
that that was a big thing for me what I realized very quickly is I've been pretty good at softball
when I was 13 now at 48 I realized that I can play the game but I'm not the best on the
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team like if anything I'm one of the worst on the team so even in my own mind and with
my own attitude I had to realize that I'm never going to be the best on the team I've
got girls that have been playing for the last 20 and 30 years I can't compete against them
and nor do I want to because my physio reminded me that my body's 48 not 13 so there are some
(14:45):
constraints that I had to work with and that's I'll talk about that in a second so what I
did instead was work out okay well where else can I be creative around my attitude and how
can I still be a valuable member of this team and I have a very loud voice and I can be
heard anywhere on the diamond anywhere out in the car park so I learnt to channel my
(15:08):
voice I'm a very good cheerleader so in using my voice to cheer and encourage and you know
bring up the energy within the team that became my superpower and you know I got very creative
with the words I had to use and how I would encourage people but it was so interesting
that even thinking about creativity as an attitude and a mindset that we can choose
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that it didn't matter if we won or lost that if I did a really had a poor game or a good
game I drove away from every game thinking I added value to the team today even if it
was just my cheering and that was through my creative outlets and that makes me a valuable
player and contributed to the the beautiful girls that were part of my team.
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I absolutely love that story and it's so true I think that creativity is it's totally an
attitude is being able to roll the punches because I'm sure if you got out there and
you realize oh god man I am not as good as I used to be which is what a lot of people
have said on the podcast that I used to be an excellent artist I haven't done it for
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20 years I can't go back so I'm not going to be as good as I used to be you know if
you go out then you go oh my gosh I'm I'm pretty crap at this it could be so easy to
to stop and put that away go that's not for me I love the fact that you're going okay
maybe I'm not going to be as good as I used to be I'm going to find another way to find
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joy in it because you know it perfection is different to different people and it doesn't
it's and you've got to think about the end purpose you know creativity doesn't have to
be about actually achieving something it's an expression it's a journey it's about getting
out there and yelling your face off in the outfield I love that and still feeling like
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a little girl with you know permission granted to just be a bit silly and have some fun and
cheer your team and and I think that that yet you're so right Abi that it's not the end
result it is part of the journey and I think even being able to expand your views on what
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creativity is and I know you do this so well it's it's oh wow it plays out in every single
part of my life and a book that I read that I really loved is called the net and the butterfly
I don't know if you've ever read it no and it's by a guy called Judah Pollock and a little
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we are Fox I think it's Fox anyway it's beautiful because it's talking about it's all about
creativity and where you find your creativity and one of the things they talk about is that
when you do something new you actually create more neural pathways and more connections in
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your brain right so you know especially as we get older the more new things we do the
more neuroplasticity we get which means the more connections we make and creativity is
really about connecting okay there's this thing here there's that thing there what thread
or theme would actually we even bring these together right and that's what our neural
pathways do in your brain so when you add new things in you're sparking more of these
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things which actually then makes you and allows you to tap into further creativity and when
I first read that that was like a real epiphany for me to think doing things like hobbies or
doing things like you know if you normally wear red shoes with that outfit try wearing
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green shoes or just changing things up a bit to really get those you know those pathways
reconnected that to me was such a brilliant example of taking the science so those that
prefer give me a scientific explanation with the more artistic version of creativity and
bringing them together and I I just went away last weekend on a girls adventure weekend
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so I was going away with nine girls I didn't know to something that was going to be scary
out of your comfort zone and the woman I went with is actually a client of mine she's
coaching clients financial advisor so I was going away with all these women I didn't know
to do something that was going to be scary that I didn't know what it was and I often
talk about when is the last time you did something for the first time and this all came from
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the whole adding new things into your world creates all those extra sparks and connections
so I went away and had an entire weekend of newness every single activity I did every
face that I was confronted with or friendship that I then fostered was new and I swear even
if this is in my mind that since then I've come up with all these other ideas things
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I've been stuck on in my work now I might have conditioned myself to do that because
I know creativity and doing new things go hand in hand but Abi if it works right we
gotta do it.
Don't mess with it but it is also a muscle that you know you the more you flex it the
more you'll be able to lift right but actually interesting what you said there because I
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one of my goals for this podcast is to have someone a psychologist or someone come on
and talk to us about the fundamental differences between creativity as a child and creativity
as an adult and what you just said there about experiencing this whole weekend of newness
like if you think about childhood everything is new because you're living life for the
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very first time as you get older you're like oh yeah I've done that before I've seen that
before as you're a kid you're like oh that's a tree that's the first time I've seen a tree
oh that cat oh I've never tried a mushroom before like you all these things are brand
new and so really as a kid you're flexing your brain extremely but then I guess as we
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are reacquainting ourselves with things we've already experienced it's not firing that off
again is it and so we're not getting that same reaction.
Exactly and the girl that runs the adventure weekend she's been doing it for 20 years and
I said to her have you ever done an activity twice she said only once and that was more
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because logistically it fit and what have you she said no because you don't get the
same experience and adrenaline rush when you do it for the second time albeit you still
might you know if you're jumping off a plane I'm sure the second time is equally scary
but what it doesn't carry with it is the newness of the first and it's why we remember childhood
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and our earlier years so much more you know as we get older the years kind of blur more
because there was so many more firsts you remember your first kiss you remember your
first heartbreak your first love you know your first time falling out of a tree or breaking
a bone way more so as an adult we stop doing things for the first time and a lot of reasons
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a lot of excuses some legitimate some stories we make up in our head and that's why one of
the things that I've been really really trying to do over the last number of years is where
can I do more things for the first time so I took up dancing about four or five years
ago as well and and I think that was also trying to really I couldn't become an entertainer
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on a cruise ship so I've been trying to live it but you know what each time even learning
a new dance routine like one of the one of the comments I used to always get was that
one the two left feet which most people get but my butt was broken because whenever the
dance teacher would say you know move your butt to the right I would move it to the left
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and you should just go Kim no the other left I'm like alright that one so your brain was
constantly everything was new every dance routine was new and then you'd learn it and
then you'd have to go and learn a new one so just stuffing my brain full of newness I
believe was a big part of one giving me the freedom to then go and continue to do new
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things because I could also drop a lot of the perfectionism which I have got that hangover
as well and I every day still have to really look deep into how to get past that but to
think I don't have to be the best to get something out of this changing my attitude and thinking
you know the newness is going to be really helpful in other areas of my life is going
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to be something that I'm going to hold on and remember and I'm going to have a laugh
at the same time which like I said it's one of my core values so you know where my three
birds killed with one one little baby slingshot.
I love that efficiency that is great and that sort of reminds me like I so Kim has just
(24:08):
released a podcast fantastic and I've been listening to a few episodes love the music
love the direction and there was something you said in one of the episodes it might have
been even the first episode you know you got me in quickly it was something about expanding
(24:29):
your comfort zone and if you expand your comfort zone then things are less scary for you and
that is sort of also another recurring thing is that people don't want to try something
new people don't want to try creativity if they haven't done it for a while because they're
scared of not doing it well they're scared of not getting it right and so they're really
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jumped out at me I love that how did you come up with that.
So with all credit to the person who I heard that from it was Mel Schilling so Mel Schilling
is a psychologist who you might know her because she was one of the experts on married at first
sight.
Oh.
Yeah I love it.
(25:15):
Oh man she loves that woman and she wrote a book called The Seaward the Seaward Being
Confidence and I watched all of her webinars in the lead up I read a book because I gobble
everything on confidence and she was talking about that jumping out of your comfort zone
scares a lot of people so they don't do it so instead it's about expanding your comfort
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zone what I love about this is firstly when I am sharing this particularly with women
although not limited to the idea that you're still there's an element of safe there's still
a safe place when you're thinking about expanding something as opposed to jumping out of it
so I'm more likely to do something that will expand me than I am to just jump into something
(26:01):
okay so it creates a place of safety which particularly for women that safety and support
is really important but also my views if you think of it visually if you're expanding your
comfort zone you're not just jumping out if you jump out you leave it at the same shape
and size if you expand it you're making it bigger and broader so the things that might
scare you now as it expands those things become less scary which means that you can do more
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of them so confidence really creates and courage and I'll talk to you again about my definition
of the distinction between the two but what that does is when you do something scary then
that gives you the confidence and the courage to do something more scary and the more scary
things you do it allows you then to do more of the scary things that you want to do so
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that expansion is what I find absolutely brilliant and so that distinction that Mel Shilling really
bought to my table about expanding not jumping out of I've really embraced that and really
run with it and confidence for me and a girl called a motivational speaker called Mel Robbins
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talks about confidence as the willingness to try so if you think about confidence as
a willingness to try so you know just just getting your mind that you can do this or
something you're going to be safe you're not going to to fall in you know the end of the
world you are going to be okay that's the confidence pace right is the willingness to even give
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it a go the courage is the action pace actually doing it and they they actually feed off each
other it's like a confidence courage loop then if you do that thing then the next time
your willingness to do it again or something like it also gets greater and then you take
action and it's just this perpetual loop that continues to expand and grow so that's
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kind of how I bring courage and confidence in and of course creativity plays a core
role in allowing that to happen. Oh absolutely and allowing creativity to happen as well both
ways yeah. Oh totally yeah totally and even you know a lot of when I went on this girls
adventure weekend we did a lot of team building activities that was creativity at its best
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you know like pretending you're in a lava pit and you've got these teeny tiny little rocks
and you're only allowed two feet on a rock at a time and you've got to get the whole
team from one side of the river the lava river over to another and even watching people you
know it's metaphoric but if they put their foot on the ground it's like I'm in the lava
oh and it was just it was just beautiful and such a gorgeous metaphor for how we treat
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life we don't want to put our foot in the lava pit we don't want to stretch ourselves
we don't want to try enough new things yet as you do that and like when we were doing
these team building activities yeah the first couple of times we'd all end up in the lava
pit but by the end we'd worked out how to do it we kind of got our teamwork sorted and
you know we got across and again it's such a beautiful metaphor for life that if we keep
(29:13):
giving it a go and you know sometimes we've got to get a bit more creative with the way
we do it but it's not black and white it's not you know this or that it could be this
that and and and and so it's really cool I love it it sounds like an amazing camp by
the way so fun so fun and yet like I said so much creativity that you can then you know
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bring back and stick into your life into other because seriously Abi if I could survive
that way good and there was some pretty grueling things we did I can I can do anything that's
good I'm jumping back a little bit to when we're talking about expanding your comfort
zone how how does someone actually do that hmm so as I said I think the key to expansion
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as opposed to jumping is that there is an element of safety so you if you're jumping
out of the plane you've got your parachute right you've got your backup plan or your
plan B so all my life as I was growing up and if any hours I was a little bit I was
a perfectionist and I was chasing you know the A pluses all the time or whatever and
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so I would work myself out before an exam or you know before my driver's license or
whatever and my mum used to always say to me him seriously what's the worst that can
happen and I'd be like oh I don't pass this test or I don't get an A plus and mum's like
no no no no no very wine the worst that can happen is that you're not here right that's
the worst let's now move up from there and up from there and up for there and I know
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that that's not a new concept but in terms of expanding your comfort zone it is your
parachute and your backup parachute and your backup backup parachute that really what is
the worst thing that can happen one of our biggest fears is the fear of what other people
think and and I know that's been a conversation that you've had as well that's not ever going
(31:13):
to change right people are always going to judge they're always going to have their own
views their own perceptions and what have you you can't change that but if they did
think you're a bit of a dits or a klutz or that piece of artwork wasn't good or that
piece of work that you brought to the boardroom is not that good what doesn't really matter
like really what does it really matter so just having that backup reminder about you
(31:38):
know what's the worst thing can happen and if someone doesn't like it really what is
the end of the world around that so that's one thing that I think really allows you to
expand the other thing is to is going back and having a look at and writing down this
is a really great exercise writing down all of the things that you've done or accomplished
or achieved in your life to date and not limiting that to work looking looking at your whole
(32:03):
life like back you know I might have been in grade three and you won the spelling contest
or you might have raised two humans that are now living beautiful healthy lives and you've
managed to foster that growth or you know it might be something more that you survived
COVID and at the same time changed careers and got fit do you know what I mean like
(32:27):
just having a look writing that list and reflecting on that list and it is amazing how hard it
is how easy it sounds when I'm talking about it now but how hard it is but you look at
that list and that gives you a massive dose of confidence and it's that confidence that
helps expand your comfort zone because again it's like I can do that I did do that and
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if I can do that how about you know I could give this ago and what's the worst thing that
could happen so there are a couple of little things that really have helped me and help
those that I've coached over the years give things ago because it's that courage to give
it ago that actually allows that comfort zone to expand a little bit more.
(33:08):
Yes I love that gathering evidence basically that you can go back and refresh yourself draw
upon when you need it that's brilliant I actually saw someone I follow like a lot of business
TikToks and Instagram accounts and all this sort of stuff so I feel like I'm working 24/7
(33:29):
but I saw one actually just this morning and it and it was talking about you know how it's
nearly your next client or something along those lines and there they had such an easy
practical tip that was very similar to what you just said is that every time you get a
good piece of feedback save it put it into a folder and just do it and then before you
(33:52):
are going to pitch before you're going to quote before you apply for a new job whatever
whatever that scary thing is you go and just look at that you just read through and it's
like fluff you up builds up your confidence gives you the courage to take that step I
just love it it's such a simple thing why didn't we think of it earlier I mean you obviously
(34:14):
did but I did not think of that earlier I do have minds called my you rock file just rocks
one of my words you rock is one of my favorite sayings and I started one of those age I joined
a mastermind group or a program called thought leaders business school and they used to talk
about it in that and I started one and Abi I genuinely tap into that and go back and
(34:40):
look over it at times when I'm feeling a bit like I'm scared or I'm doing something that's
pushing me or I know those days when you just you know something might have gone against
you and you're like oh my good enough oh man I'm at this stage in my career I should have
been further any of those moments being able to get go back look at the evidence that evidence
(35:00):
is there and tap into it that absolutely gives you an injection of confidence to go and then
do whatever that next little thing might be so yeah these little then little tiny teeny
things but they absolutely help their tools that allow you to then because a more expanded
(35:21):
comfort zone is going to give me more willingness to want to do more things and live a better
life there's a book called the power of regret by Dan pink I don't know if you've read it
but what he shares and we all talk about you know living life without regret but what he
shares is that when we're younger you know typically in our early 20s and stuff we tend
(35:45):
to regret more of the things that we've done rather than the things that we haven't done
yet but as we get older and sort of get into our 40s and 50s our biggest regret is actually
the things that we haven't done so if you and that there's been again scientific research
and part of that is that we stopped doing new things as we get older because of all
these fees and conditioning from society and and not wanting to do something where I'm
(36:10):
not the best at it so I won't do it instead but you know all of this you know allowing
us to not have so many regrets is is cut off when we actually expand our comfort zone
because the more the broader the comfort zone the more chance I'm going to want to give something
ago the more chance I'm going to do something new either for the first time or given it's
(36:32):
been a long time which means I'm going to have less regrets on my plate as I get older
and that that doesn't mean you eliminate them all because you can't go back in time that
boy it can eliminate some of those that could right now be getting in your way and don't
let them stop you because that regret is often bigger than the fear of actually doing that
(36:54):
thing whatever that might be putting that thing into the world and you know what you're
never going to be everything to everyone and there's a woman and I cannot remember her
name while we're on this call and she said something like some will someone so what meaning
some will like someone like so what and I love that saying and I apologize to the person
(37:16):
who I heard that from I cannot remember her name but I just think it's glorious yeah yeah
if you figure it out later we'll get we can add it in I should follow it I listen to a
podcast and I she's got a gorgeous free podcast on audible I can't remember her name she's
a female coach anyway if I I'll get it for you later because she deserves credit because
(37:39):
it's a super cool some will someone so what nice love that and living with no regrets
I think that's great and wow at this love love love love your story and I love where
you've taken your career and now actually you're still working with financial advisors
and other like advice professionals so I love the fact there's kind of this full circle
(38:04):
you're helping helping people probably what you needed back when you were back there.
Abi you're so true this is the stuff so I used to be helping financial advisors work
on their business that was very much my flavor now my move has been I'm helping them work
on them and as a result they build a better business so that's if that would be the easiest
(38:28):
way to explain that transition and it's funny I've always had business coaches or life coaches
or professional coaches of some description sports coaches and I remember there was a
time where especially earlier on in my own business the business coach would want to
delve into my past and my childhood and I'd sack them because I'm like no I'm you here
(38:48):
to work on my business not on my my world of my life and it wasn't until one highlighted
a really important fact and my interpretation of what he said was you build a better business
when you build a better you and that was like and I'm like sorry to all those coaches that
I sacked in the past I didn't say this so my real transition is still allowing people
(39:14):
to you know whether it's build the business or grow the business or step up in their career
or move into leadership but starting from how do you really look at who you are and
what's going on kind of personal development although I don't always like using that word
because you get that bit worked on you never get that completely sorted but you work on
that is going to actually help you build a much better business or a faster track to
(39:38):
the career that you're looking for whatever that might be so constantly learning Abi
that never stops does it as you would know never stops and never may it stop because
I think it's such a great journey to be on I wouldn't change it for the world and even
doing something like this podcast and what you're bringing to the table and listening
to podcasts this is all learning this is all putting new ideas and contents embracing those
(40:03):
neural paths and those connections in your mind and like you you know doing your research
on tiktok that's scientifically proven to be helping your creativity so we do that justifying
any of our little activities don't we yeah yeah yeah I'll remember that next time I'm
not just doom scrolling I'm researching oh no that's so great and so I will include the
(40:28):
link to to your business and to your podcast as part of this as part of this podcast show
notes so if anyone would love to get in touch with Kim or tune in you'll be able to find
that there I want to say thank you so much Ky
m for joining me today this has been such
a fun chat as I always said it's always great talking to you and I really want to also thank
everyone who's tuned into Creativity (40:52):
Uncovered today I hope that this episode has inspired
you to expand your comfort zone try to live without regrets and always hope that it helps
you summon creativity the next time that you need it
(41:35):
if you've made it this far a huge thank you for your support and tuning into today's episode
Creativity (41:44):
Uncovered has been lovingly recorded on the land of the Kabi Kabi people and
we pay our respects to elders past present and emerging this podcast has been produced
by my amazing team here at Crisp Communications and the music you just heard was composed
by James Gatling if you liked this episode please do share it around and help us on
(42:09):
our mission to unlock more creativity in this world you can also hit subscribe so you don't
miss out on any new episode releases
[MUSIC]
Uncovered. My name is Abi Gatling and I'm on a journey
(00:11):
to uncover how everyday people find inspiration, get inventive and open their imagination.
Because basically I want to know how people find creative solutions and then how do I
use them at home, work, play and everything in between.
(00:32):
And my goal for this podcast is that by the end of it you'll be armed with a whole suite
of tried and tested ways to summon creativity the next time that you need it.
So so exciting today. Today I'm actually speaking with Kim Payne and Ki
m is kind of an enigma
(00:57):
I would say. If you've ever heard her speak at a conference or watched her videos on socials
or listened to her brand new podcast, you probably wouldn't believe that she started
out her career as a financial advisor. She's now a coach, a trainer and a public speaker
(01:17):
and she helps professionals find their purpose and realise their value. And I have so many
questions for her so why don't we just jump in. Welcome Kim.
Oh Abi, I am so excited and to sit on this side of the microphone with you and with that
glorious introduction. Bring it on. Let me do this.
(01:38):
Yes. It's a pleasure to have you here and kind of a bit of a disclosure here. I've known
Kim for about like four or five years now I would say. Yeah, about that.
Yeah. We met a while back through my husband Michael who's also a coach so it's coaching
circles. And we've actually worked together with a few clients over the years which has
(02:03):
been awesome. But yeah, Kim you're one of the most bubbliest and energetic people I know
and I love following you on socials and I know that whenever you call me it's always
going to be a good one. And so to nod back to my intro, I know it's terrible to stereotype
(02:23):
people slash careers but it is amazing to think that you started off as a financial advisor
and to see where you've travelled in your career since then. And the reason why I'm
honing on the financial advisor part is that this podcast is all about stretching people's
(02:45):
perceptions of creativity and what that is and who is creative quote unquote. And I look
at you and I see such a vibrant creative person. So I want to start there and break it down
for listeners. How did you start in finance and how did you get to where you are now?
(03:07):
That is so such a beautiful segue in and it's so funny if I can just go back when I was
in grade three. We in art class which I hated but in art class we had to create these paper
mache globes of the world and I did it and quite frankly, I thought it was quite cool
and this girl has seen it be lined over to me and looked at it and got oh my god you
(03:33):
are so not creative that is awful. And I was quite shocked and look lucky I love maths
as well. So I decided okay I'm not creative and I honestly I guess I pigeonholed myself
in the I'm the math science girl I'm not the creative type and sadly hung on to that for
(03:56):
way too long. But it's really funny I always wanted to be a doctor that was kind of my
lifelong passion and in year 10 I did work experience at a hospital. Now my surname is
Payne. They would put name tags on it so it would be like junior doctor Payne and we were
(04:16):
all just students doing work experience and they said to me do you think we could call
you Dr Kim as opposed to Dr Payne some of our patients are a bit older and they might
not float their boat. I'm like yes wait. But when I got into year 11 so I was doing all
the maths and science and when I was going into year 11 I had to pick a fifth subject
(04:39):
and the only ones that would fit were things like literature and politics and humanities
they were not my cup of tea. And one of the other subjects was economics and I took it
up and Abi I fell madly in love. I know that's weird to think love and economics come out
of my mouth at the same time. But I really really loved it and so I ended up going down
(05:03):
that path. My career started in stockbroking. It moved into relationship management and
then it moved into financial advising and then consulting and coaching. But something
was always missing. I didn't know what it was and again carrying that flavour of I'm
not creative and yet over the years I actually think it's my creativity that has allowed
(05:27):
my uncovering of what was really important to me and allowing that to come to life. So
one of my core values and I'm very very clear on what my values are but one of them is laughter.
So even when I'm running workshops or I'm on stage speaking the number one or one of
the number one ingredients that I want to bring in is laughter in some way shape or
(05:47):
form getting people to smile. Let's make the work it's serious work that we've been doing
and I've been in financial services for 30 years. But how can we make it more fun and
more interesting because I actually find that we learn better and we work better when we're
also smiling and able to have a laugh at the same time. So that's kind of a little bit
(06:08):
of an interludes to where my background has always been in a very left brain world and
now I'm inviting and really encouraging the right brain into it and I'm having way more
fun way more fun.
Yeah, wow. That's sort of been like a common theme in the podcast is that there's been
(06:31):
a moment in time which has pushed people on a different journey away from creativity.
Never heard it being that young. It's usually when it gets around to like we have to get
serious yet to get you go high school you're choosing your subjects you have to choose
the serious ones or you go to uni you can't choose the fun thing you've got to get a career
(06:55):
at the end of it. It's always interesting to see where that has actually happened and
what a catalyst it is for things to come.
So can I just share as well when I was 22 my grandma took me on the fair star so a cruise
ship and on the cruise ship they had a passenger show so they kind of wanted volunteers to
(07:21):
learn a whole lot of dances and going the passenger show. I don't know why but I put
my hand up for every single dance and I got chosen in every single dance. I think there
was somewhere they didn't have the numbers I was like just put her in put her in and
I literally performed on stage. We did an earlier sitting for the six o'clock dinner
guest then we did it again at nine o'clock for the later dinner guest. At this stage
(07:44):
I was studying a graduate diploma in finance and investment and I was working in stock
broken right so I get off the cruise ship and I decide I'm going to be my calling is
I'm going to be an entertainer on a cruise ship. So every night I come home from working
at stock broken doing my studies shut my bedroom door and I would rehearse all these dance moves
(08:05):
that I just learned on the fester because I was going to have to be teaching them and
about six weeks you know I was living with my dad at the time my dad he calls it a come
to Jesus meeting but it means let's have a serious chat and he said to me Kim you cannot
sing and you cannot dance get a group come back to the real world and get back to doing
what you're doing now I'm not being humble when I say I can't sing and dance and dad
(08:28):
wasn't being me he was just being realistic so that was my second moment where I had a
bit of a bash in the face around you're actually not creative Kim you've got to take that on
board and run with it so yeah that these are more grown-up moment that was coupled with
my grade three moment. Okay so the door was slightly creaking open and then it was kind
(08:50):
of slam shut again. Mac bang shut in my face. Yes so what did you do after that you just
gave it up or how did you progress from there? Yeah absolutely I literally got back into
my work got back into my job and became very serious over the next sort of 15-20 years
about my work. Another moment where it changed Abi was when I was a financial advisor so
(09:14):
I was 29 and I was I was reasonably new in the role even though I'd been in financial
services for a fair amount of time in my career to then and I was sitting in front of this
older couple and I was delivering them the advice right the woman of the couple so the
couple would have been maybe their late 60s early 70s which back when I was 29 that was
(09:35):
old now it's very young but the woman in the middle of while I'm delivering this advice
puts her hand up and says stop stop what gives you the right to give me advice you're young
and female. I was gobsmacked and I didn't have an answer I because I hadn't expected
it. From that moment on it really hit me that even though I was fully credentialed I had
(09:59):
all of you know the letters after my name to be sitting in that seat giving the advice.
There was obviously something missing about her perception of me in that role as an expert
and the value that she was getting from the conversation. So from there and this really
started my move from the very left brain technical financial planning financial services into
(10:20):
okay let's explore value more deeply what is value how does it play out and you know
that was when I was 29 and female young and female I'm now still female I just not 29
or as young but value has been very much a theme of my life and I've got what I call
(10:42):
the currencies of value it's a little model that I've put together and one of the pieces
of the pie so imagine eight pieces of the pie one of the pieces of this value pie is
actually creativity because to me in order to be more valuable whether that's feeling
more valuable as a human being inside yourself whether it's the contribution and the impact
(11:04):
you're making to other people's lives or how you live your life so what are the values
and the guiding principles that you live by in every single one of those three examples
creativity is such a core piece of that pie that allows you to really live your best and
fullest life so yeah there's another kind of couple of little pivotal moments where creativity
(11:27):
just it keeps going you know what we're meant to be mates.
It's coming back, it keeps coming back that's so interesting on the on your pie diagram
so when you think about creativity in that sense what is coming to mind?
So let me stop by saying when I run workshops with accountants particularly the first thing
I ask them is pop your hands in the air if you think you're creative.
(11:50):
Now normally I'm lucky if even one person in the room puts their hand up then.
I mean creative accounting is something else right?
Absolutely and going back to and I know this has been a theme in past episodes of yours
people still associate creativity with art and I can't draw I can't draw stick creatures
(12:11):
that means I'm not creative.
By the end of the workshop and in all these cases we do we play a lot of games we have
a lot of fun we do some serious stuff but in all cases it's about just coming up with
a solution to a problem and that is what creativity is at its essence it is coming up with a solution
to a problem sometimes that problem has existed before sometimes it's a new problem.
(12:33):
By the end the last question I have the workshop is put your hands up if you think you're creative
and 99.9% of the time everyone's hand goes up because what they realise is creativity
is everywhere in our life it is in the decisions we make the choices how we live out everything
(12:54):
we do even something as simple as this morning 8.30 my neighbour is bashing on my door saying
Kim I need your car we've got to get my daughter's got to go to school camp my car's
just broken down I can't get her to camp can I have your car and I'm like no you can't
have my car because I've got to drive my son to school so I went and grabbed my keys and
said come on let's figure this out on the fly get your daughter get in the car get her
(13:18):
campy I got my son and we're sitting in the car it's like right how are we going to do
this you ring the school tell them I'm on my way we did a detour blah blah blah we got
her there and then it was like okay how can we work out how can I pick her up again get
her to work all of this was going on and I thought this is creativity you know it doesn't
have to be just drawing a picture or you know creating a piece of artwork this is creativity
(13:42):
so when you can understand that it's a choice and bring it into your everyday work like
how do I solve this problem or a client's come to me how do I deal with this that's
where the beautiful gold and I believe the value of creativity comes into play and if
(14:02):
I can say on that note too I started playing baseball just before I turned 48 right and
that that was a big thing for me what I realized very quickly is I've been pretty good at softball
when I was 13 now at 48 I realized that I can play the game but I'm not the best on the
(14:23):
team like if anything I'm one of the worst on the team so even in my own mind and with
my own attitude I had to realize that I'm never going to be the best on the team I've
got girls that have been playing for the last 20 and 30 years I can't compete against them
and nor do I want to because my physio reminded me that my body's 48 not 13 so there are some
(14:45):
constraints that I had to work with and that's I'll talk about that in a second so what I
did instead was work out okay well where else can I be creative around my attitude and how
can I still be a valuable member of this team and I have a very loud voice and I can be
heard anywhere on the diamond anywhere out in the car park so I learnt to channel my
(15:08):
voice I'm a very good cheerleader so in using my voice to cheer and encourage and you know
bring up the energy within the team that became my superpower and you know I got very creative
with the words I had to use and how I would encourage people but it was so interesting
that even thinking about creativity as an attitude and a mindset that we can choose
(15:32):
that it didn't matter if we won or lost that if I did a really had a poor game or a good
game I drove away from every game thinking I added value to the team today even if it
was just my cheering and that was through my creative outlets and that makes me a valuable
player and contributed to the the beautiful girls that were part of my team.
(15:55):
I absolutely love that story and it's so true I think that creativity is it's totally an
attitude is being able to roll the punches because I'm sure if you got out there and
you realize oh god man I am not as good as I used to be which is what a lot of people
have said on the podcast that I used to be an excellent artist I haven't done it for
(16:17):
20 years I can't go back so I'm not going to be as good as I used to be you know if
you go out then you go oh my gosh I'm I'm pretty crap at this it could be so easy to
to stop and put that away go that's not for me I love the fact that you're going okay
maybe I'm not going to be as good as I used to be I'm going to find another way to find
(16:40):
joy in it because you know it perfection is different to different people and it doesn't
it's and you've got to think about the end purpose you know creativity doesn't have to
be about actually achieving something it's an expression it's a journey it's about getting
out there and yelling your face off in the outfield I love that and still feeling like
(17:06):
a little girl with you know permission granted to just be a bit silly and have some fun and
cheer your team and and I think that that yet you're so right Abi that it's not the end
result it is part of the journey and I think even being able to expand your views on what
(17:27):
creativity is and I know you do this so well it's it's oh wow it plays out in every single
part of my life and a book that I read that I really loved is called the net and the butterfly
I don't know if you've ever read it no and it's by a guy called Judah Pollock and a little
(17:48):
we are Fox I think it's Fox anyway it's beautiful because it's talking about it's all about
creativity and where you find your creativity and one of the things they talk about is that
when you do something new you actually create more neural pathways and more connections in
(18:08):
your brain right so you know especially as we get older the more new things we do the
more neuroplasticity we get which means the more connections we make and creativity is
really about connecting okay there's this thing here there's that thing there what thread
or theme would actually we even bring these together right and that's what our neural
pathways do in your brain so when you add new things in you're sparking more of these
(18:35):
things which actually then makes you and allows you to tap into further creativity and when
I first read that that was like a real epiphany for me to think doing things like hobbies or
doing things like you know if you normally wear red shoes with that outfit try wearing
(18:55):
green shoes or just changing things up a bit to really get those you know those pathways
reconnected that to me was such a brilliant example of taking the science so those that
prefer give me a scientific explanation with the more artistic version of creativity and
bringing them together and I I just went away last weekend on a girls adventure weekend
(19:19):
so I was going away with nine girls I didn't know to something that was going to be scary
out of your comfort zone and the woman I went with is actually a client of mine she's
coaching clients financial advisor so I was going away with all these women I didn't know
to do something that was going to be scary that I didn't know what it was and I often
talk about when is the last time you did something for the first time and this all came from
(19:41):
the whole adding new things into your world creates all those extra sparks and connections
so I went away and had an entire weekend of newness every single activity I did every
face that I was confronted with or friendship that I then fostered was new and I swear even
if this is in my mind that since then I've come up with all these other ideas things
(20:05):
I've been stuck on in my work now I might have conditioned myself to do that because
I know creativity and doing new things go hand in hand but Abi if it works right we
gotta do it.
Don't mess with it but it is also a muscle that you know you the more you flex it the
more you'll be able to lift right but actually interesting what you said there because I
(20:32):
one of my goals for this podcast is to have someone a psychologist or someone come on
and talk to us about the fundamental differences between creativity as a child and creativity
as an adult and what you just said there about experiencing this whole weekend of newness
like if you think about childhood everything is new because you're living life for the
(20:53):
very first time as you get older you're like oh yeah I've done that before I've seen that
before as you're a kid you're like oh that's a tree that's the first time I've seen a tree
oh that cat oh I've never tried a mushroom before like you all these things are brand
new and so really as a kid you're flexing your brain extremely but then I guess as we
(21:14):
are reacquainting ourselves with things we've already experienced it's not firing that off
again is it and so we're not getting that same reaction.
Exactly and the girl that runs the adventure weekend she's been doing it for 20 years and
I said to her have you ever done an activity twice she said only once and that was more
(21:38):
because logistically it fit and what have you she said no because you don't get the
same experience and adrenaline rush when you do it for the second time albeit you still
might you know if you're jumping off a plane I'm sure the second time is equally scary
but what it doesn't carry with it is the newness of the first and it's why we remember childhood
(22:01):
and our earlier years so much more you know as we get older the years kind of blur more
because there was so many more firsts you remember your first kiss you remember your
first heartbreak your first love you know your first time falling out of a tree or breaking
a bone way more so as an adult we stop doing things for the first time and a lot of reasons
(22:21):
a lot of excuses some legitimate some stories we make up in our head and that's why one of
the things that I've been really really trying to do over the last number of years is where
can I do more things for the first time so I took up dancing about four or five years
ago as well and and I think that was also trying to really I couldn't become an entertainer
(22:42):
on a cruise ship so I've been trying to live it but you know what each time even learning
a new dance routine like one of the one of the comments I used to always get was that
one the two left feet which most people get but my butt was broken because whenever the
dance teacher would say you know move your butt to the right I would move it to the left
(23:03):
and you should just go Kim no the other left I'm like alright that one so your brain was
constantly everything was new every dance routine was new and then you'd learn it and
then you'd have to go and learn a new one so just stuffing my brain full of newness I
believe was a big part of one giving me the freedom to then go and continue to do new
(23:26):
things because I could also drop a lot of the perfectionism which I have got that hangover
as well and I every day still have to really look deep into how to get past that but to
think I don't have to be the best to get something out of this changing my attitude and thinking
you know the newness is going to be really helpful in other areas of my life is going
(23:48):
to be something that I'm going to hold on and remember and I'm going to have a laugh
at the same time which like I said it's one of my core values so you know where my three
birds killed with one one little baby slingshot.
I love that efficiency that is great and that sort of reminds me like I so Kim has just
(24:08):
released a podcast fantastic and I've been listening to a few episodes love the music
love the direction and there was something you said in one of the episodes it might have
been even the first episode you know you got me in quickly it was something about expanding
(24:29):
your comfort zone and if you expand your comfort zone then things are less scary for you and
that is sort of also another recurring thing is that people don't want to try something
new people don't want to try creativity if they haven't done it for a while because they're
scared of not doing it well they're scared of not getting it right and so they're really
(24:54):
jumped out at me I love that how did you come up with that.
So with all credit to the person who I heard that from it was Mel Schilling so Mel Schilling
is a psychologist who you might know her because she was one of the experts on married at first
sight.
Oh.
Yeah I love it.
(25:15):
Oh man she loves that woman and she wrote a book called The Seaward the Seaward Being
Confidence and I watched all of her webinars in the lead up I read a book because I gobble
everything on confidence and she was talking about that jumping out of your comfort zone
scares a lot of people so they don't do it so instead it's about expanding your comfort
(25:38):
zone what I love about this is firstly when I am sharing this particularly with women
although not limited to the idea that you're still there's an element of safe there's still
a safe place when you're thinking about expanding something as opposed to jumping out of it
so I'm more likely to do something that will expand me than I am to just jump into something
(26:01):
okay so it creates a place of safety which particularly for women that safety and support
is really important but also my views if you think of it visually if you're expanding your
comfort zone you're not just jumping out if you jump out you leave it at the same shape
and size if you expand it you're making it bigger and broader so the things that might
scare you now as it expands those things become less scary which means that you can do more
(26:26):
of them so confidence really creates and courage and I'll talk to you again about my definition
of the distinction between the two but what that does is when you do something scary then
that gives you the confidence and the courage to do something more scary and the more scary
things you do it allows you then to do more of the scary things that you want to do so
(26:50):
that expansion is what I find absolutely brilliant and so that distinction that Mel Shilling really
bought to my table about expanding not jumping out of I've really embraced that and really
run with it and confidence for me and a girl called a motivational speaker called Mel Robbins
(27:10):
talks about confidence as the willingness to try so if you think about confidence as
a willingness to try so you know just just getting your mind that you can do this or
something you're going to be safe you're not going to to fall in you know the end of the
world you are going to be okay that's the confidence pace right is the willingness to even give
(27:31):
it a go the courage is the action pace actually doing it and they they actually feed off each
other it's like a confidence courage loop then if you do that thing then the next time
your willingness to do it again or something like it also gets greater and then you take
action and it's just this perpetual loop that continues to expand and grow so that's
(27:56):
kind of how I bring courage and confidence in and of course creativity plays a core
role in allowing that to happen. Oh absolutely and allowing creativity to happen as well both
ways yeah. Oh totally yeah totally and even you know a lot of when I went on this girls
adventure weekend we did a lot of team building activities that was creativity at its best
(28:21):
you know like pretending you're in a lava pit and you've got these teeny tiny little rocks
and you're only allowed two feet on a rock at a time and you've got to get the whole
team from one side of the river the lava river over to another and even watching people you
know it's metaphoric but if they put their foot on the ground it's like I'm in the lava
oh and it was just it was just beautiful and such a gorgeous metaphor for how we treat
(28:49):
life we don't want to put our foot in the lava pit we don't want to stretch ourselves
we don't want to try enough new things yet as you do that and like when we were doing
these team building activities yeah the first couple of times we'd all end up in the lava
pit but by the end we'd worked out how to do it we kind of got our teamwork sorted and
you know we got across and again it's such a beautiful metaphor for life that if we keep
(29:13):
giving it a go and you know sometimes we've got to get a bit more creative with the way
we do it but it's not black and white it's not you know this or that it could be this
that and and and and so it's really cool I love it it sounds like an amazing camp by
the way so fun so fun and yet like I said so much creativity that you can then you know
(29:38):
bring back and stick into your life into other because seriously Abi if I could survive
that way good and there was some pretty grueling things we did I can I can do anything that's
good I'm jumping back a little bit to when we're talking about expanding your comfort
zone how how does someone actually do that hmm so as I said I think the key to expansion
(30:06):
as opposed to jumping is that there is an element of safety so you if you're jumping
out of the plane you've got your parachute right you've got your backup plan or your
plan B so all my life as I was growing up and if any hours I was a little bit I was
a perfectionist and I was chasing you know the A pluses all the time or whatever and
(30:27):
so I would work myself out before an exam or you know before my driver's license or
whatever and my mum used to always say to me him seriously what's the worst that can
happen and I'd be like oh I don't pass this test or I don't get an A plus and mum's like
no no no no no very wine the worst that can happen is that you're not here right that's
the worst let's now move up from there and up from there and up for there and I know
(30:52):
that that's not a new concept but in terms of expanding your comfort zone it is your
parachute and your backup parachute and your backup backup parachute that really what is
the worst thing that can happen one of our biggest fears is the fear of what other people
think and and I know that's been a conversation that you've had as well that's not ever going
(31:13):
to change right people are always going to judge they're always going to have their own
views their own perceptions and what have you you can't change that but if they did
think you're a bit of a dits or a klutz or that piece of artwork wasn't good or that
piece of work that you brought to the boardroom is not that good what doesn't really matter
like really what does it really matter so just having that backup reminder about you
(31:38):
know what's the worst thing can happen and if someone doesn't like it really what is
the end of the world around that so that's one thing that I think really allows you to
expand the other thing is to is going back and having a look at and writing down this
is a really great exercise writing down all of the things that you've done or accomplished
or achieved in your life to date and not limiting that to work looking looking at your whole
(32:03):
life like back you know I might have been in grade three and you won the spelling contest
or you might have raised two humans that are now living beautiful healthy lives and you've
managed to foster that growth or you know it might be something more that you survived
COVID and at the same time changed careers and got fit do you know what I mean like
(32:27):
just having a look writing that list and reflecting on that list and it is amazing how hard it
is how easy it sounds when I'm talking about it now but how hard it is but you look at
that list and that gives you a massive dose of confidence and it's that confidence that
helps expand your comfort zone because again it's like I can do that I did do that and
(32:48):
if I can do that how about you know I could give this ago and what's the worst thing that
could happen so there are a couple of little things that really have helped me and help
those that I've coached over the years give things ago because it's that courage to give
it ago that actually allows that comfort zone to expand a little bit more.
(33:08):
Yes I love that gathering evidence basically that you can go back and refresh yourself draw
upon when you need it that's brilliant I actually saw someone I follow like a lot of business
TikToks and Instagram accounts and all this sort of stuff so I feel like I'm working 24/7
(33:29):
but I saw one actually just this morning and it and it was talking about you know how it's
nearly your next client or something along those lines and there they had such an easy
practical tip that was very similar to what you just said is that every time you get a
good piece of feedback save it put it into a folder and just do it and then before you
(33:52):
are going to pitch before you're going to quote before you apply for a new job whatever
whatever that scary thing is you go and just look at that you just read through and it's
like fluff you up builds up your confidence gives you the courage to take that step I
just love it it's such a simple thing why didn't we think of it earlier I mean you obviously
(34:14):
did but I did not think of that earlier I do have minds called my you rock file just rocks
one of my words you rock is one of my favorite sayings and I started one of those age I joined
a mastermind group or a program called thought leaders business school and they used to talk
about it in that and I started one and Abi I genuinely tap into that and go back and
(34:40):
look over it at times when I'm feeling a bit like I'm scared or I'm doing something that's
pushing me or I know those days when you just you know something might have gone against
you and you're like oh my good enough oh man I'm at this stage in my career I should have
been further any of those moments being able to get go back look at the evidence that evidence
(35:00):
is there and tap into it that absolutely gives you an injection of confidence to go and then
do whatever that next little thing might be so yeah these little then little tiny teeny
things but they absolutely help their tools that allow you to then because a more expanded
(35:21):
comfort zone is going to give me more willingness to want to do more things and live a better
life there's a book called the power of regret by Dan pink I don't know if you've read it
but what he shares and we all talk about you know living life without regret but what he
shares is that when we're younger you know typically in our early 20s and stuff we tend
(35:45):
to regret more of the things that we've done rather than the things that we haven't done
yet but as we get older and sort of get into our 40s and 50s our biggest regret is actually
the things that we haven't done so if you and that there's been again scientific research
and part of that is that we stopped doing new things as we get older because of all
these fees and conditioning from society and and not wanting to do something where I'm
(36:10):
not the best at it so I won't do it instead but you know all of this you know allowing
us to not have so many regrets is is cut off when we actually expand our comfort zone
because the more the broader the comfort zone the more chance I'm going to want to give something
ago the more chance I'm going to do something new either for the first time or given it's
(36:32):
been a long time which means I'm going to have less regrets on my plate as I get older
and that that doesn't mean you eliminate them all because you can't go back in time that
boy it can eliminate some of those that could right now be getting in your way and don't
let them stop you because that regret is often bigger than the fear of actually doing that
(36:54):
thing whatever that might be putting that thing into the world and you know what you're
never going to be everything to everyone and there's a woman and I cannot remember her
name while we're on this call and she said something like some will someone so what meaning
some will like someone like so what and I love that saying and I apologize to the person
(37:16):
who I heard that from I cannot remember her name but I just think it's glorious yeah yeah
if you figure it out later we'll get we can add it in I should follow it I listen to a
podcast and I she's got a gorgeous free podcast on audible I can't remember her name she's
a female coach anyway if I I'll get it for you later because she deserves credit because
(37:39):
it's a super cool some will someone so what nice love that and living with no regrets
I think that's great and wow at this love love love love your story and I love where
you've taken your career and now actually you're still working with financial advisors
and other like advice professionals so I love the fact there's kind of this full circle
(38:04):
you're helping helping people probably what you needed back when you were back there.
Abi you're so true this is the stuff so I used to be helping financial advisors work
on their business that was very much my flavor now my move has been I'm helping them work
on them and as a result they build a better business so that's if that would be the easiest
(38:28):
way to explain that transition and it's funny I've always had business coaches or life coaches
or professional coaches of some description sports coaches and I remember there was a
time where especially earlier on in my own business the business coach would want to
delve into my past and my childhood and I'd sack them because I'm like no I'm you here
(38:48):
to work on my business not on my my world of my life and it wasn't until one highlighted
a really important fact and my interpretation of what he said was you build a better business
when you build a better you and that was like and I'm like sorry to all those coaches that
I sacked in the past I didn't say this so my real transition is still allowing people
(39:14):
to you know whether it's build the business or grow the business or step up in their career
or move into leadership but starting from how do you really look at who you are and
what's going on kind of personal development although I don't always like using that word
because you get that bit worked on you never get that completely sorted but you work on
that is going to actually help you build a much better business or a faster track to
(39:38):
the career that you're looking for whatever that might be so constantly learning Abi
that never stops does it as you would know never stops and never may it stop because
I think it's such a great journey to be on I wouldn't change it for the world and even
doing something like this podcast and what you're bringing to the table and listening
to podcasts this is all learning this is all putting new ideas and contents embracing those
(40:03):
neural paths and those connections in your mind and like you you know doing your research
on tiktok that's scientifically proven to be helping your creativity so we do that justifying
any of our little activities don't we yeah yeah yeah I'll remember that next time I'm
not just doom scrolling I'm researching oh no that's so great and so I will include the
(40:28):
link to to your business and to your podcast as part of this as part of this podcast show
notes so if anyone would love to get in touch with Kim or tune in you'll be able to find
that there I want to say thank you so much Ky
m for joining me today this has been such
a fun chat as I always said it's always great talking to you and I really want to also thank
everyone who's tuned into Creativity (40:52):
Uncovered today I hope that this episode has inspired
you to expand your comfort zone try to live without regrets and always hope that it helps
you summon creativity the next time that you need it
(41:35):
if you've made it this far a huge thank you for your support and tuning into today's episode
Creativity (41:44):
Uncovered has been lovingly recorded on the land of the Kabi Kabi people and
we pay our respects to elders past present and emerging this podcast has been produced
by my amazing team here at Crisp Communications and the music you just heard was composed
by James Gatling if you liked this episode please do share it around and help us on
(42:09):
our mission to unlock more creativity in this world you can also hit subscribe so you don't
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