Hi, this is Pastor Ken thanks for joining me once again for the Monday Marriage Message where we search God’s instructions to discover how to experience a highly successful marriage. This is the fourth edition in our series 7 Biblical Principles of a Highly Successful Marriage.
Since beginning this series I have shared with you 3 of 7 biblical principles that govern highly successful marriages. They are; Compatibility, Recognizing that your marriage is more about your relationship with God than it is about your relationship with your spouse, and Holiness. Each of these principles are crucial to a marriage that desires to fulfill its God-given purpose and reflect Him.
This week we continue to look at those characteristics that define God-shaped marriages. As previously determined, the primary or first biblically noted purpose of marriage is to reflect God. It is why Adam and Eve were created in a “One Flesh” condition and why your marriage was a recreation of that same oneness. (Genesis 2:23 & 24) Our marriages are to be the marital mirrors that God can look into and see Himself. If we are to be highly successful in that endeavor, then we must allow our marriages to adopt godly characteristics. To that end, the 4th Biblical Principle of a Highly Successful Marriage is – Selfless Service.
Biblically speaking this is a necessity, and we have therefore, been commanded to serve one another. Just one instance of this command is found in Ephesians 5:21 there it says, Submitting to one another in the fear of God. The instruction here is crystal clear and is one of intended cause and effect. In the fear of God, or in other words understanding that God is the authority over all…submit to one another. One might argue that the placement of this verse is in context with how we are to interact with other believers, (instruction given in verses 19 & 20) and I would agree…though not completely. The fact that the next 12 verses finalizing the chapter are specific instruction on how wives are to submit to their husbands and husbands are to prefer their wives needs over their own, causes me to argue that the implications of verse 21 may be weighted heavier toward the verses that follow it, than the ones preceding. Nevertheless, there can be no reasonable argument that verse 21 does not apply in marriage. Romans 12:9-11 also speak to this same idea that serving one another is godly. Let [your] love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another, not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord. Again, the argument might be made that these verses are not specific to marriage, and they are not, they are instruction for how to interact with those in lesser relationships. If this instruction applies to the lesser however, it absolutely applies to the greater. Moreover, the importance here is the desired motivation for following the instruction. We are to prefer one another, because it is good, and it is how we serve the Lord. In other words, by preferring one another, we are illustrating love and therefore being reflective of God who is love according to 1 John 4:7.
Remembering that the primary purpose of marriage is to reflect God, selfless service is without a doubt central to a highly successful marriage. God is all about service, because God is selfless. God illustrates this characteristic of His all the time, and He has been doing so from the beginning. In the first chapter of Genesis the first 25 verses describe the first 5 days of creation. Each of those days God worked to create a universe that would be life sustaining and useful to His crowning creation mentioned in verses 26-27. Everything God did prior to creating Adam and Eve was done to serve them and was shown to be selfless, as God gave to mankind dominion and authority over all He had created. Even though Adam and Eve used their God-given authority to sin and brought ruin into all that God had freely given them, God did not become selfish and take his gifts of life and love back from them. In fact, after literal countless other acts of mercy and grace, God continued out of His Holy and unchanging nature to be a selfless being. God was even willing to give His Only Son to be offered as a perfect sacrificial lamb to provide recompense for the sin of mankind. The bible tells us that even though we are selfish because of the sin-nature we are born with, God selflessly offers to us new mercies each and every morning.
In light of the fact that God is selfless, and the point of our marriages is to reflect who and what He is…Highly Successful marriages operate in selflessness. In fact, I like to say that selflessness is the atmosphere in which marriages thrive. Selfishness eradicates the necessary atmosphere creating a vacuum, that eventually suffocates marriage. Conventional wisdom tells us that we have to look out for oursel