December 23, 2024 • 21 mins
This is a special solstice, holiday slowdown medicine, between-season, late-stage-capitalism-sucking-your-life-juice-dry, you-might-need-support episode full of practical guidance and self-warmth tips!
Baba Ram Dass said, “If you think you are enlightened, go and spend a week with your family.” Whatever you may or may not be celebrating, this episode explores the importance of acceptance, a few quick energetic/emotional/nervous system grounding & resilience techniques, and the power of warm curiosity to foster understanding and connection with yourself and those in your world.
~ resources mentioned ~
- Free grounding meditation ~ https://bit.ly/grounding-now
- Bespoke Meditation, a 1:1 coaching session + a personalized guided meditation ~ book yours now, https://bit.ly/bespoke-meditation
- Enter to win a free coaching session ~ when you leave a 5-star rating (only) and a written review, you'll be entered into a monthly drawing for a free 90-min coaching session with dana (value of $388). Email dana@danabalicki.com the review title + your review name. Winner announcements will be made across platforms mid-month.
/// sound-editing/design ~ rose blakelock, theme song ~ kat ottosen, podcast art ~ natalee miller///
@danablix on ig 😭 feeling the pull for coaching support? go to danabalicki.com for inner/outer transformation 🖐️⭐️ leave a 5-star rating & review to be entered in a monthly raffle for a free coaching session (details in show notes) 🎁 share this with your favorite boo-hooer 😭
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dana Balicki (00:02):
Crying in my jacuzzi, crying in my jacuzzi.
Crying in my jacuzzi, crying inmy jacuzzi.
(00:28):
Welcome, welcome, welcome back.
Oh, I've missed you.
It's me, dana Bullocki, yourreverently irreverent host over
here at Cry Baby HQ, and we'recooking up season three.
(00:51):
Yes, hold on to your panties,because it's gonna be so good.
We're gonna be diving into howto be our best rebel selves
Nourished, supported, connected,alive, warm, accompanying,
desirous, weird and full ofdelight and depth.
(01:14):
We're going to be balancingthat essential inner work with
the outer work and embracingthose beloved disruptions that
keep us and encourage us to beawake and alive and sensuous.
Oh, and there will be wait forit interviews with some of the
(01:39):
coolest beings that I know.
I can't wait, but in themeantime, I wanted to pop in
with some support for you inthese wild times, in this
broken-hearted landscape andtimeline we are all sharing
together.
Whatever you celebrate or don'tcelebrate, it's so full of
(02:01):
outward focus, busyness, socialpressures.
So full of outward focus,busyness, social pressures,
late-stage capitalism, buyingeveryone trying to get a little
piece of the pie because they'retrying to make it, except for
billionaires.
We should definitely abolishthem.
Greed is abolishing the future,but that, paired against the
winter itself, l'hiver, the timeof the year calling us inward,
(02:29):
to slow down, to reflect, to bestill, to subtract, to reduce,
to let the leaves and then thebark fall all the way off.
April, luggate, summer, solstice, druid Festival A buffet of
conflicting energies, right Likegoing and grabbing, like sushi,
(02:49):
mmm, some tacos, oh, limbaclava, and separately, great,
interesting Together, a littlechaotic, not so much so in the
Sushi, tac, taco, baklava mix oflife that we are in and the it
(03:10):
really is.
We embrace the paradox of beingalive at this moment.
Let me share some guidance withyou for this end of the year,
portal things that I have taughtover time over the past 13 plus
years that I use all the timein my own life and relationships
, and hopefully somethingresonates or settles in you and
(03:34):
supports you in navigating thisseason with a bit more softness,
more warmth warmth towardsyourself, maybe warmth for
others, and really cultivatingthat slow down medicine inside
of yourself that we could allreally use right now.
Okay, so a couple of years agoI was listening to Glenn and
Doyle's podcast we can do hardthings and there was a holiday
(03:57):
episode and the.
The one of the main takeawayswas be unsurprised, just be
unsurprised, when Aunt Maryshows up, as Aunt Mary always
does, maybe even be unsurprisedwhen you show up, as you always
do.
And so a little be unsurprisedpractice.
(04:19):
You can take a moment now, oreven after this episode, to make
a little be on surprise list.
Jot down a few scenarios orpeople that you're likely to
encounter this season and justthink about perhaps something
that you may be like kind ofpushing.
Anyway, like I don't want tothink about that, I really hope
(04:39):
it doesn't happen.
So turn towards the thing,write it down.
What's the thing that happens,what's even the thing that
you're like I really don't wantthat to happen.
Okay, as you're writing thisdown, see, because it's on this
be unsurprised list, see how itfeels to give it just a little
lightness, a little beunsurprised energy.
(05:01):
Let it be there, put your handon your heart, breathe it in.
I'm like, ah right, they'redoing that thing again.
Oh, that thing I remember.
Yeah, they're doing that thingagain.
Oh, that thing I remember.
Yeah, and this isn't aboutbypassing how things affect you,
but there's some space creatinghere for acceptance.
(05:22):
Right, the buddhists say thatsuffering comes from wanting
reality to be different than itis.
So when we accept what is, wecan create some space for some
acceptance, for deeperunderstanding, and with that
understanding, hey, we can bringin some compassion, both to
others and to ourselves.
(05:52):
But this next part is a littlemore about tending to yourself
in the overwhelm.
So when you're feelingoverstimulated, overwhelmed,
resistant, you know how it feelsinside of you that like sticky,
icky, pokey feeling.
(06:12):
Sometimes it's small, small,sometimes it's big.
This is an invitation to slowit down.
Come back to yourself andremember that when we're
overwhelmed, our ability to bein a healthy no really
diminishes, right?
So if you're already in spaceswhere maybe boundaries are
(06:35):
necessary and they're feelingreally hard, or there are things
that you're being invited to dothat you don't want to do, if
you're overwhelmed and that evenmeans in your calendar, right,
too many things going on it willbe harder for you to be in any
healthy no.
You'll either have to like snap, you know, might be a little
sharper no, or it might be a nothat's trying to make someone
(06:59):
else treat you differently,which isn't really that like
from a healthy boundary place,or you might ghost F*** me, it's
a ghost.
I have a whole theory aboutghosting and healthy no's and
overwhelm.
Anyway, a couple of things herethat can help you in your
overwhelm.
So one a little vagal vagusnerve ventral, vagal hug.
(07:22):
So first part, you can justwrap one hand around the back of
your neck and you can justbreathe, just like that right.
That right there is putting alittle pressure and energy into
um, towards the top of yourvagus nerve right, and this is
like all connected to your wholenervous system.
(07:43):
And the other arm you can wraparound your chest.
It's really like telling youryour nervous system like I'm
here for you, we're okay.
Another piece that we love isgrounding.
So different ways you can do it.
You know I love a groundingmeditation.
I'll put a link to one down inthe show notes which can just be
(08:06):
a breathing, feeling your feeton the ground and then, if you
want to like dropping,visualizing or even just feeling
if you're not a visualizer sortof your breath going down into
the earth or visualizing sort ofroots down.
So if you check out themeditation it'll give a little
(08:27):
bit more guidance, a few breaths.
You can also do the veryhelpful grounding practice where
you first kind of scan youreyes along the horizon, you can
gently turn your head, make itnice and slow.
That's a nice signal to letyour nervous system know that
(08:47):
you're safe Drinking some water.
Helpful, you can do thepractice of naming some things
in the room around you, likepurple glass, black laptop
picture of Pee Wee Herman on myaltar.
That's true, this can helpbring you back to the present
moment.
(09:08):
Another part, number three herename your emotions.
This is a wonderful littleemotional tracking naming
mechanism that connects you withyour prefrontal cortex.
So when you say your emotionsout loud, like I'm feeling
(09:28):
anxious, overwhelmed, I'mfeeling sad, I'm feeling
disappointed, any big feeling,small feeling, just name them
out loud.
You don't have to shout it, butthat right there creates a
sweet little loop that willactually let the emotion sort of
(09:48):
move along their circuits.
Right, it's a nice practice ofcare and accompanying your
emotions and sort of steppingout of judgment.
Right, like oh my God, I've gotthe story about it and I'm
having this feeling.
Just like I'm having thisfeeling, you can also work to
name and feel into sensations inyour body, if that feels okay
(10:10):
for you.
I want to touch in here on somewarm curiosity.
(10:31):
Right, this is what helps breakold patterns.
The holidays can bring up oldstories, old experiences,
unconscious contracts that wecarry in the deepest part of
ourselves that we carry inrelationship with other people
in our lives, and all thoselittle tender buttons, emotional
(10:55):
buttons, can get pushed andpushed, and pushed.
And so the invitation here isthat when your buttons get
pushed and they will see how itfeels to pause and notice you
can even write these questionsdown in your little journal or
your phone or whatever, and comeback to them even just at the
(11:16):
end of the day as a reflection,or maybe a couple times
throughout the day in more busyactive experiences or times.
Right, maybe just build in alittle check-in time for
yourself.
I have found that to be veryhelpful over the years, giving
myself permission to take timeouts, times out, time outs.
(11:38):
You know what I mean Slow down.
So one question when a buttongets pushed, when a thing maybe
from that list earlier, from thebeing surprised list something
happens there, you're going tohave a feeling in your body.
What does it feel like in yourbody?
And when you get really in tunewith this, this is great
(12:02):
because this will be a signalfor you.
When it happens later, you'relike oh, that feeling that right
there, oh, that's because mybutton was pushed.
Ooh, okay, possibly about to beoff to the races on a whole big
old story and an old, big oldpattern coming up or whatever,
about to just drop into theunconscious experience,
unconscious contract, andinstead we can bring just a
little bit of consciousness toit.
This is a key to breaking anold pattern, to disrupting it.
(12:26):
You know how I feel about adisruption.
So what does it feel like inyour body?
And then what emotions show?
Maybe there's words, maybethere's little songs, I don't
know like what shows up insideof you, what's the story you're
starting to tell?
Right?
That's the third part.
(12:46):
What stories are you tellingyourself?
Right?
So we've got what does it feellike in your body, what emotions
show up, and inside of that wecan also look at how do you
respond, right, and that's inthat.
What does it feel like in yourbody, what emotions are showing
up?
You're sort of noticing like,ooh, how do I respond?
What am I doing when that wholething happens?
Right?
(13:07):
And then what stories are youtelling yourself about yourself?
So, without needing to fixanything, turning towards that
tender part of yourself withwarmth this is the important
part, warmth, self-warmth andwarm curiosity, and, as you can,
towards yourself, sayingsomething like of course I'm
(13:29):
feeling this.
This makes all the sense in theworld.
It's okay to feel this rightnow.
Or even if you don't feel likeit's quite you know you can't
get quite to the it's okay.
You can just be like I amfeeling this right now.
Of course I'm feeling thisright now and you can expand
into the like it's okay that I'mfeeling this right now.
(13:49):
It's appropriate that I'mfeeling this right now.
A boundary was crossed, anchors, the appropriate emotion for a
boundary crossing.
Great, everything's working asit should.
Or if you have a loved one whocan hold that space with you and
just reflect, not get allthinky-thinky about it, not get
into the story about it, just agentle, leaning on each other,
(14:11):
without fixing, without rushing,without pathologizing, without
going into the old unconsciousstories, just warmth, empathy.
I see you, that makes sense,I'm right here with you.
That can be a lovely agreementto have with a loved one.
You can get into all the storystuff later, but in the moment,
warmth, oh yeah, that's nice.
(14:31):
So I want to just give a notehere on acceptance and
(14:55):
understanding and compassion.
Acceptance doesn't meancondoning bad behavior or
bypassing our feelings.
It's really about allowingspace for reality as it is right
what I was saying earlier aboutsuffering, the root of
suffering being wanting realityto be different than it is.
(15:16):
And so acceptance, just knowingthat, like, okay, this is what
is be unsurprised.
Aunt Mary is Aunt Mary-ing overthere real hard.
You're a creature of pure chaosand maybe we know a little bit
about Aunt Mary, or maybe weknow a little bit about her
generation or her family or thecommunity she grew up in or the
lineage she's part of or theculture she was raised inside of
(15:39):
, and we're like, oh, yeah, Iget it.
I get why Aunt Mary is AuntMary-ing the way she Aunt Marys.
Because, wow, yeah, okay, gotit.
I see that, I can see thethreads there and that can lead
to a deeper understanding thatpeople and ourselves are shaped
by so many layers, by so manylayers, by so many things
(16:04):
experiences of our own lives andgenerations handed down to us
and through us.
So that acceptance and thatunderstanding can really lead to
a place of compassion where itbecomes easier to navigate these
moments with agency andpresence.
(16:28):
Just go on to happier things.
Okay, agency and presence.
All matter has agency.
We are all agential beings.
We have choice.
We got free will.
We have choice.
We got free will.
It can be really helpful to bein any of these practices that I
(16:48):
named that allow for moreunderstanding, because then we
can recognize when we're justoperating in old unconscious
patterns.
We might not be able to getAunt Mary out of that
unconscious pattern.
Maybe that's not even your job.
Maybe your job is to have alittle acceptance, understanding
and compassion and then alittle self-warmth for yourself,
(17:10):
lube it all up and then seewhat happens.
Then see what's possible Ifwe're in the present moment and
we're awake and aware and alivemoment and we're awake and aware
and alive.
So much more possibility forfor agency, for real connection,
for relating, for full moonwerewolf transformation, for
(17:32):
being in relationship in aconscious adult relationship
rich with aliveness.
Okay, so a little practice.
(17:59):
To come on back, feel your feeton the ground.
Even if you're on the 18thfloor, the earth is right here
to meet you, rising up, to meetyou, holding you.
Take a nice deep breath in andout might wander off as you're
breathing.
(18:20):
See how it feels.
To bring a little warmattention to the thoughts as
they go like oh, look at that,I'm thinking about all the
things I have to do.
That's okay, I'm just going tolet that go and then come on
back to my breath here.
It's nice to be here with mybreath.
(18:42):
I'll get to all those otherthings Coming back.
All right, a little warmattention, not judgment.
Being human is messy, full ofparadox.
There's grief and joy, andhopelessness and hope, but the
good news is that we belong toeach other and hope.
The good news is that we belongto each other and so it's good
(19:04):
that we're here together.
And if you need, want, desiresome extra support, I have a
special offering right nowcalled Bespoke Meditations.
It's a mix of a one-on-one timetogether, some coaching,
practical guidance, someintuitive guidance, and then I
(19:25):
take the information from thesession plus a little
questionnaire that you fill outand I make a beautiful custom
guided meditation just for youto meet you right now, at this
moment in your life, whetherit's to get you through this
portal at the end of the year,your life.
Whether it's to get you throughthis portal at the end of the
year or there's something you'rereally calling in next year and
(19:46):
want some visualization,support or just some
encouragement, or you want tojust come to a neutral place, or
you just want to feel thefeeling of being guided and held
.
All of that is available, soyou'll find the link in the show
notes below to check it out,and you can see from other folks
(20:06):
who have been participating andhow it's been working for them.
I'd love to support you in thisway.
So until next time, until nextseason, I am sending you so much
love, courage and care.
You can't get this wrong.
We're in it together.
(20:45):
Love you.
If you enjoyed what we did heretoday, go over to wherever it is
that you are listening to thispodcast and give us a rating.
As many stars Five as yourheart desires.
As many stars Five as yourheart desires.
Five stars though.
(21:05):
Theme music and other musicalbits by the very talented Kat
Otteson, sound design andediting by the effervescent Rose
Blakelock.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
I look forward to playing withyou more in my jacuzzi.
That sounded dirtier than Imeant it, but you know what I
(21:27):
mean.
Crying in my jacuzzi, crying in my jacuzzi.
Crying in my jacuzzi, crying inmy jacuzzi.
(00:28):
Welcome, welcome, welcome back.
Oh, I've missed you.
It's me, dana Bullocki, yourreverently irreverent host over
here at Cry Baby HQ, and we'recooking up season three.
(00:51):
Yes, hold on to your panties,because it's gonna be so good.
We're gonna be diving into howto be our best rebel selves
Nourished, supported, connected,alive, warm, accompanying,
desirous, weird and full ofdelight and depth.
(01:14):
We're going to be balancingthat essential inner work with
the outer work and embracingthose beloved disruptions that
keep us and encourage us to beawake and alive and sensuous.
Oh, and there will be wait forit interviews with some of the
(01:39):
coolest beings that I know.
I can't wait, but in themeantime, I wanted to pop in
with some support for you inthese wild times, in this
broken-hearted landscape andtimeline we are all sharing
together.
Whatever you celebrate or don'tcelebrate, it's so full of
(02:01):
outward focus, busyness, socialpressures.
So full of outward focus,busyness, social pressures,
late-stage capitalism, buyingeveryone trying to get a little
piece of the pie because they'retrying to make it, except for
billionaires.
We should definitely abolishthem.
Greed is abolishing the future,but that, paired against the
winter itself, l'hiver, the timeof the year calling us inward,
(02:29):
to slow down, to reflect, to bestill, to subtract, to reduce,
to let the leaves and then thebark fall all the way off.
April, luggate, summer, solstice, druid Festival A buffet of
conflicting energies, right Likegoing and grabbing, like sushi,
(02:49):
mmm, some tacos, oh, limbaclava, and separately, great,
interesting Together, a littlechaotic, not so much so in the
Sushi, tac, taco, baklava mix oflife that we are in and the it
(03:10):
really is.
We embrace the paradox of beingalive at this moment.
Let me share some guidance withyou for this end of the year,
portal things that I have taughtover time over the past 13 plus
years that I use all the timein my own life and relationships
, and hopefully somethingresonates or settles in you and
(03:34):
supports you in navigating thisseason with a bit more softness,
more warmth warmth towardsyourself, maybe warmth for
others, and really cultivatingthat slow down medicine inside
of yourself that we could allreally use right now.
Okay, so a couple of years agoI was listening to Glenn and
Doyle's podcast we can do hardthings and there was a holiday
(03:57):
episode and the.
The one of the main takeawayswas be unsurprised, just be
unsurprised, when Aunt Maryshows up, as Aunt Mary always
does, maybe even be unsurprisedwhen you show up, as you always
do.
And so a little be unsurprisedpractice.
(04:19):
You can take a moment now, oreven after this episode, to make
a little be on surprise list.
Jot down a few scenarios orpeople that you're likely to
encounter this season and justthink about perhaps something
that you may be like kind ofpushing.
Anyway, like I don't want tothink about that, I really hope
(04:39):
it doesn't happen.
So turn towards the thing,write it down.
What's the thing that happens,what's even the thing that
you're like I really don't wantthat to happen.
Okay, as you're writing thisdown, see, because it's on this
be unsurprised list, see how itfeels to give it just a little
lightness, a little beunsurprised energy.
(05:01):
Let it be there, put your handon your heart, breathe it in.
I'm like, ah right, they'redoing that thing again.
Oh, that thing I remember.
Yeah, they're doing that thingagain.
Oh, that thing I remember.
Yeah, and this isn't aboutbypassing how things affect you,
but there's some space creatinghere for acceptance.
(05:22):
Right, the buddhists say thatsuffering comes from wanting
reality to be different than itis.
So when we accept what is, wecan create some space for some
acceptance, for deeperunderstanding, and with that
understanding, hey, we can bringin some compassion, both to
others and to ourselves.
(05:52):
But this next part is a littlemore about tending to yourself
in the overwhelm.
So when you're feelingoverstimulated, overwhelmed,
resistant, you know how it feelsinside of you that like sticky,
icky, pokey feeling.
(06:12):
Sometimes it's small, small,sometimes it's big.
This is an invitation to slowit down.
Come back to yourself andremember that when we're
overwhelmed, our ability to bein a healthy no really
diminishes, right?
So if you're already in spaceswhere maybe boundaries are
(06:35):
necessary and they're feelingreally hard, or there are things
that you're being invited to dothat you don't want to do, if
you're overwhelmed and that evenmeans in your calendar, right,
too many things going on it willbe harder for you to be in any
healthy no.
You'll either have to like snap, you know, might be a little
sharper no, or it might be a nothat's trying to make someone
(06:59):
else treat you differently,which isn't really that like
from a healthy boundary place,or you might ghost F*** me, it's
a ghost.
I have a whole theory aboutghosting and healthy no's and
overwhelm.
Anyway, a couple of things herethat can help you in your
overwhelm.
So one a little vagal vagusnerve ventral, vagal hug.
(07:22):
So first part, you can justwrap one hand around the back of
your neck and you can justbreathe, just like that right.
That right there is putting alittle pressure and energy into
um, towards the top of yourvagus nerve right, and this is
like all connected to your wholenervous system.
(07:43):
And the other arm you can wraparound your chest.
It's really like telling youryour nervous system like I'm
here for you, we're okay.
Another piece that we love isgrounding.
So different ways you can do it.
You know I love a groundingmeditation.
I'll put a link to one down inthe show notes which can just be
(08:06):
a breathing, feeling your feeton the ground and then, if you
want to like dropping,visualizing or even just feeling
if you're not a visualizer sortof your breath going down into
the earth or visualizing sort ofroots down.
So if you check out themeditation it'll give a little
(08:27):
bit more guidance, a few breaths.
You can also do the veryhelpful grounding practice where
you first kind of scan youreyes along the horizon, you can
gently turn your head, make itnice and slow.
That's a nice signal to letyour nervous system know that
(08:47):
you're safe Drinking some water.
Helpful, you can do thepractice of naming some things
in the room around you, likepurple glass, black laptop
picture of Pee Wee Herman on myaltar.
That's true, this can helpbring you back to the present
moment.
(09:08):
Another part, number three herename your emotions.
This is a wonderful littleemotional tracking naming
mechanism that connects you withyour prefrontal cortex.
So when you say your emotionsout loud, like I'm feeling
(09:28):
anxious, overwhelmed, I'mfeeling sad, I'm feeling
disappointed, any big feeling,small feeling, just name them
out loud.
You don't have to shout it, butthat right there creates a
sweet little loop that willactually let the emotion sort of
(09:48):
move along their circuits.
Right, it's a nice practice ofcare and accompanying your
emotions and sort of steppingout of judgment.
Right, like oh my God, I've gotthe story about it and I'm
having this feeling.
Just like I'm having thisfeeling, you can also work to
name and feel into sensations inyour body, if that feels okay
(10:10):
for you.
I want to touch in here on somewarm curiosity.
(10:31):
Right, this is what helps breakold patterns.
The holidays can bring up oldstories, old experiences,
unconscious contracts that wecarry in the deepest part of
ourselves that we carry inrelationship with other people
in our lives, and all thoselittle tender buttons, emotional
(10:55):
buttons, can get pushed andpushed, and pushed.
And so the invitation here isthat when your buttons get
pushed and they will see how itfeels to pause and notice you
can even write these questionsdown in your little journal or
your phone or whatever, and comeback to them even just at the
(11:16):
end of the day as a reflection,or maybe a couple times
throughout the day in more busyactive experiences or times.
Right, maybe just build in alittle check-in time for
yourself.
I have found that to be veryhelpful over the years, giving
myself permission to take timeouts, times out, time outs.
(11:38):
You know what I mean Slow down.
So one question when a buttongets pushed, when a thing maybe
from that list earlier, from thebeing surprised list something
happens there, you're going tohave a feeling in your body.
What does it feel like in yourbody?
And when you get really in tunewith this, this is great
(12:02):
because this will be a signalfor you.
When it happens later, you'relike oh, that feeling that right
there, oh, that's because mybutton was pushed.
Ooh, okay, possibly about to beoff to the races on a whole big
old story and an old, big oldpattern coming up or whatever,
about to just drop into theunconscious experience,
unconscious contract, andinstead we can bring just a
little bit of consciousness toit.
This is a key to breaking anold pattern, to disrupting it.
(12:26):
You know how I feel about adisruption.
So what does it feel like inyour body?
And then what emotions show?
Maybe there's words, maybethere's little songs, I don't
know like what shows up insideof you, what's the story you're
starting to tell?
Right?
That's the third part.
(12:46):
What stories are you tellingyourself?
Right?
So we've got what does it feellike in your body, what emotions
show up, and inside of that wecan also look at how do you
respond, right, and that's inthat.
What does it feel like in yourbody, what emotions are showing
up?
You're sort of noticing like,ooh, how do I respond?
What am I doing when that wholething happens?
Right?
(13:07):
And then what stories are youtelling yourself about yourself?
So, without needing to fixanything, turning towards that
tender part of yourself withwarmth this is the important
part, warmth, self-warmth andwarm curiosity, and, as you can,
towards yourself, sayingsomething like of course I'm
(13:29):
feeling this.
This makes all the sense in theworld.
It's okay to feel this rightnow.
Or even if you don't feel likeit's quite you know you can't
get quite to the it's okay.
You can just be like I amfeeling this right now.
Of course I'm feeling thisright now and you can expand
into the like it's okay that I'mfeeling this right now.
(13:49):
It's appropriate that I'mfeeling this right now.
A boundary was crossed, anchors, the appropriate emotion for a
boundary crossing.
Great, everything's working asit should.
Or if you have a loved one whocan hold that space with you and
just reflect, not get allthinky-thinky about it, not get
into the story about it, just agentle, leaning on each other,
(14:11):
without fixing, without rushing,without pathologizing, without
going into the old unconsciousstories, just warmth, empathy.
I see you, that makes sense,I'm right here with you.
That can be a lovely agreementto have with a loved one.
You can get into all the storystuff later, but in the moment,
warmth, oh yeah, that's nice.
(14:31):
So I want to just give a notehere on acceptance and
(14:55):
understanding and compassion.
Acceptance doesn't meancondoning bad behavior or
bypassing our feelings.
It's really about allowingspace for reality as it is right
what I was saying earlier aboutsuffering, the root of
suffering being wanting realityto be different than it is.
(15:16):
And so acceptance, just knowingthat, like, okay, this is what
is be unsurprised.
Aunt Mary is Aunt Mary-ing overthere real hard.
You're a creature of pure chaosand maybe we know a little bit
about Aunt Mary, or maybe weknow a little bit about her
generation or her family or thecommunity she grew up in or the
lineage she's part of or theculture she was raised inside of
(15:39):
, and we're like, oh, yeah, Iget it.
I get why Aunt Mary is AuntMary-ing the way she Aunt Marys.
Because, wow, yeah, okay, gotit.
I see that, I can see thethreads there and that can lead
to a deeper understanding thatpeople and ourselves are shaped
by so many layers, by so manylayers, by so many things
(16:04):
experiences of our own lives andgenerations handed down to us
and through us.
So that acceptance and thatunderstanding can really lead to
a place of compassion where itbecomes easier to navigate these
moments with agency andpresence.
(16:28):
Just go on to happier things.
Okay, agency and presence.
All matter has agency.
We are all agential beings.
We have choice.
We got free will.
We have choice.
We got free will.
It can be really helpful to bein any of these practices that I
(16:48):
named that allow for moreunderstanding, because then we
can recognize when we're justoperating in old unconscious
patterns.
We might not be able to getAunt Mary out of that
unconscious pattern.
Maybe that's not even your job.
Maybe your job is to have alittle acceptance, understanding
and compassion and then alittle self-warmth for yourself,
(17:10):
lube it all up and then seewhat happens.
Then see what's possible Ifwe're in the present moment and
we're awake and aware and alivemoment and we're awake and aware
and alive.
So much more possibility forfor agency, for real connection,
for relating, for full moonwerewolf transformation, for
(17:32):
being in relationship in aconscious adult relationship
rich with aliveness.
Okay, so a little practice.
(17:59):
To come on back, feel your feeton the ground.
Even if you're on the 18thfloor, the earth is right here
to meet you, rising up, to meetyou, holding you.
Take a nice deep breath in andout might wander off as you're
breathing.
(18:20):
See how it feels.
To bring a little warmattention to the thoughts as
they go like oh, look at that,I'm thinking about all the
things I have to do.
That's okay, I'm just going tolet that go and then come on
back to my breath here.
It's nice to be here with mybreath.
(18:42):
I'll get to all those otherthings Coming back.
All right, a little warmattention, not judgment.
Being human is messy, full ofparadox.
There's grief and joy, andhopelessness and hope, but the
good news is that we belong toeach other and hope.
The good news is that we belongto each other and so it's good
(19:04):
that we're here together.
And if you need, want, desiresome extra support, I have a
special offering right nowcalled Bespoke Meditations.
It's a mix of a one-on-one timetogether, some coaching,
practical guidance, someintuitive guidance, and then I
(19:25):
take the information from thesession plus a little
questionnaire that you fill outand I make a beautiful custom
guided meditation just for youto meet you right now, at this
moment in your life, whetherit's to get you through this
portal at the end of the year,your life.
Whether it's to get you throughthis portal at the end of the
year or there's something you'rereally calling in next year and
(19:46):
want some visualization,support or just some
encouragement, or you want tojust come to a neutral place, or
you just want to feel thefeeling of being guided and held
.
All of that is available, soyou'll find the link in the show
notes below to check it out,and you can see from other folks
(20:06):
who have been participating andhow it's been working for them.
I'd love to support you in thisway.
So until next time, until nextseason, I am sending you so much
love, courage and care.
You can't get this wrong.
We're in it together.
(20:45):
Love you.
If you enjoyed what we did heretoday, go over to wherever it is
that you are listening to thispodcast and give us a rating.
As many stars Five as yourheart desires.
As many stars Five as yourheart desires.
Five stars though.
(21:05):
Theme music and other musicalbits by the very talented Kat
Otteson, sound design andediting by the effervescent Rose
Blakelock.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
I look forward to playing withyou more in my jacuzzi.
That sounded dirtier than Imeant it, but you know what I
(21:27):
mean.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.