What to do when your dreams don’t (and do) come true?

welcome back, ever-evolving souls—it's ADVICE DOM time. to the dungeon we go! today's listener SUBMISSION is a two-fer. TWO Qs, ONE CUP full of As. 

one question about what to do when you’re trying and not getting what you want + another about what to do when you’re getting everything.believe it or not, there’s a common answer to both.

ADVICE DOM's got questions and answers!

c'mon down to the cave for some spanky, slappy, advice-giving. BECAUSE SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST LIKE TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO.™️

call in and SUBMIT (your own question) --> 760-820-9070

~show notes~

• enter to win a free coaching session ~ when you leave a 5-star rating (only) and a written review, you'll be entered into a monthly drawing for a free 90-min coaching session with dana (value of $388). DM (@danablix instagram) or email a screenshot of your submission—take it right before you hit submit—along with the review name/title. winner announcements will be made across platforms!

/// sound-editing/design ~ rose blakelock, theme song ~ kat ottosen, podcast art ~ natalee miller///

Support the show

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Come on into the cave .
The humidity it's fantastic.
Watch your step.
The entrance to the cave canget a little slippery
Occupational hazard.
What can I say?
It's time for a little advice,dom, because sometimes people

(00:24):
just like to be told what to do.
We live in a bewildering time.
All of us are destined to bebewildered, and I don't think
that's a bad thing.
In fact, I got two questions onthe same day.
Both of them showed up Onesentence each less than an hour

(00:45):
apart, and it's clear that bothaskers are completely bewildered
for seemingly different reasons.
But are they really Crying inmy jacuzzi?
Oh, oh oh, crying in my jacuzzi?

(01:07):
Crying in my jacuzzi, crying inmy jacuzzi?
The first question what do youdo when the thing you most want

(01:39):
keeps not showing up?
That was it, that was thequestion.
Not showing up, that was it,that was the question.
And an hour later I got.
What do you do once you'vestarted getting what you want?
Now, I couldn't ignore thecoincidence of the timing of
these two questions and thecoincidence of the theme getting

(02:02):
what you want and I want to saycoincidence, synchronicity, the
language of the divine.
So hold on to that toy.
We're going to flip that on andlet it buzz around in a moment.
Both of these questions feelserious in nature.

(02:24):
Serious in that they are aboutgetting, wanting, yearning,
longing and getting it, gettingthe thing, the object of desire.
Now there's a whole school ofthought some refer to this as

(02:44):
universal law that there is nosuch thing as not getting.
We are always all only gettingwhat we are ready for.
And if we haven't gotten it, weare one interpretation, not
ready for it, are oneinterpretation, not ready for it

(03:10):
, which in our culture, has aderogatory, negative connotation
, because we should all be readyall the time and in a constant
state of achieving and receivingand getting.
And on the other side, where Ilike to hang out, where the cave
is located, is that we'regetting ready to get ready.
So, on one hand, here we have aquestion about someone who's

(03:30):
getting ready to get ready andwhat do you do?
And a question from someone whohas gotten ready is ready, the
things are happening, what doyou do?
You calm down?
Did you see that coming?
I feel like maybe you did not.
You calm down, did you see thatcoming?
I feel like maybe you did not.
You calm the fuck down, becausewhen you are buzzing and

(03:57):
anxious, moving fast all thethings.
Am I missing things?
Am I getting things?
Am I doing it right?
No-transcript.
It is very hard to interpret,interpret your emotions,
sensations moving up throughyour body, emotions full of

(04:21):
information for you.
It's easy to be in old patternsof thought.
Versus the very smallpercentage, the 10% we get each
day, of new thought, newpotential thinking, it's hard to
pick up what the universe isactually saying to you.

(04:41):
It is difficult, I'm not goingto say impossible, but I of
creativity, of vision, ofpresence, let's just say

(05:02):
presence, to be present whereall the things can happen,
synchronicities, the language ofthe divine, when the nervous
system is activated, when you'removing rapidly, consistently,

(05:26):
when our nervous system isactivated and we are moving from
that connected place, thatventral vagal place right, this
is a little polyvagal theory,quite a helpful framework, I
find Into the activated,sympathetic nervous system Fight
, flight, freeze, appease, fawn.

(05:48):
What I'm getting at is that itis complicated to make present,
conscious, empowered, next stepsto receive the information that
is likely all around you, to beable to interpret that, to feel
it, to resonate, to be inresonance.

(06:09):
So thus my advice calm down.
So thus my advice calm down Nowin the history of the universe,
has anyone ever calmed down bybeing told to calm down?
My sources tell me not.
One thing I'd like to offer isthat the framework of getting

(06:32):
and not getting Maybe not sohelpful.
I might put that aside.
Best you can Give it a whirl.
It can bring up deepexperiences of separation, not
belonging, not fitting in,scarcity, lack In the framework
of getting, not getting.
Sometimes we are trying so hardto get something this is really

(06:57):
what I'm trying to get out here.
We are trying so hard to getsomething that we try to cause
miracles versus experiencingthem.
Miracles can be tiny, little,bite-sized, when your energy and
attention is focused externallyon the getting, or when it is

(07:22):
internally on the.
Why am I not getting?
Or what do I do because I haveall of these things?
Now that I'm getting, and am Imaking the right decisions?
How do I keep it going?
I've been so used to trying tomake it happen that I'm not even
quite sure how to experience it, to enjoy it, to say yes, more

(07:47):
please.
Calm and calm cannot be broughtup about with the same effort of
getting and not getting.
Am I getting the calm?
Am I not getting the calm?
Have I gotten the calm and oh,here I am clinging to the calm.
Try playing with it.
Can you take a few breaths?

(08:10):
Maybe when you're washing yourhands somewhere and the water is
warm, and you take a fewbreaths, you feel your feet on
the ground.
Maybe you're in an elevator andyou just lean against the side
wall and you notice the textureand you take a few breaths,

(08:33):
closing your eyes perhaps,feeling your body move through
space.
Breathe, putting your feet onthe earth, fondling a plant.
A fave, get creative.
I mean it.

(08:55):
Get creative.
I mean it Get creative.
Play with calm, play with calm.
Play with your calmness, withyour.
Get curious with what it is tofind calm Moments of it.
Let it come up in unexpectedplaces.

(09:19):
Masturbate a fair amount ifthat gets you there.
Go, be playful with chilling out, finding moments of calm.
In whatever experience you'rehaving.
It can be the one where you'retelling yourself you are not

(09:41):
really getting, or it can be theversion of getting all the
things.
I know they seem completelydifferent.
I know they seem completelydifferent, but they will come
closer together as you slow down, as you stop pushing so hard,

(10:03):
trying to control or manage thescenario.
Just let go of the oars for abit, relax, trust that you'll
find your way.
That's it Now.
Get out of here, you dirtydirty little crybaby.
Feel the warmth of the sun asyou exit the cave and re-enter

(10:34):
the here and now of your day,and feel free to send over your
submission down in the dungeonanswering machine.
Just call 760-820-9070.

(11:06):
That's 760-820-9070.
We receive all submissionsCrying in my jacuzzi.
If you enjoyed what we did heretoday, go over to wherever it

(11:26):
is that you are listening tothis podcast and give us a
rating.
As many stars Five as yourheart desires.
As many stars Five as yourheart desires.
Five stars though.
Theme music and other musicalbits by the very talented Kat
Otteson.
Sound design and editing by theeffervescent Rose Blakelock.

(11:47):
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
I look forward to playing withyou more in my jacuzzi.
That sounded dirtier than Imeant it, but you know what I
mean.