May 24, 2024 • 28 mins
wonder & awe, the keys to belonging and connection! or at least that's how we see it here at crybaby HQ in the bubbling cauldron center of the jacuzzi-verse!
yes, being human is complex. so much so, that we can forget we have agency—even under violence & oppressive systems—to choose how we show up. so let's swan dive into the wondrous nature of existence by opening ourselves to wonder & awe. to flirting with the world BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS FLIRTS BACK. big-point-alert >> when we open ourselves to relationality, we practice unraveling the painful knots of coloniality. so flirting = liberation (see what we did there?)!
also, in this episode we'll have our first *special guest*—a real squishy, cosmic surprise! so tune in, turn on, and get into flirt-the-world mode with dana and all the crybabies.
~ show notes ~
- karen barad, meeting the universe halfway (quantum physics and the entanglement of matter and meaning) ~ https://smartnightreadingroom.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/meeting-the-universe-halfway.pdf
- enter to win a free coaching session ~ when you leave a 5-star rating (only) and a written review, you'll be entered into a monthly drawing for a free 90-min coaching session with dana (value of $388). DM (@danablix instagram) or email a screenshot of your submission—take it right before you hit submit—along with the review name/title. winner announcements will be made across platforms!
// sound design & editing by rose blakelock, theme song by kat ottosen, cover art by natalee miller //
@danablix on ig 😭 feeling the pull for coaching support? go to danabalicki.com for inner/outer transformation 🖐️⭐️ leave a 5-star rating & review to be entered in a monthly raffle for a free coaching session (details in show notes) 🎁 share this with your favorite boo-hooer 😭
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Have you ever flirted with the sun or a plant, or
just the air, or a soft sweater,or a smell, or your own shadow?
A spray of an orange peel?
As you peel it, a piece ofmusic, dandelion growing up
(00:25):
through the crack in a sidewalk,the scent of a stranger left as
they walk by you on the street?
A memory, a swamp bug, abo-weevil?
A dream?
Yes.
Making love to life yes.
(00:46):
Vital entanglement.
Let us, in this episode andforever after, because this
episode and all episodes ofCrying in my Jacuzzi are a spell
, a spell, let us call inconnect with two vital
(01:16):
currencies of living.
Let's give a great, warmwelcome to my friend Wonder and
my friend Ah Wonder and AhWonder and Ah I.
They're big old flirts too.
I tell you what crying in myjacuzzi, crying in my jacuzzi,
(01:45):
crying in my jacuzzi, crying inmy jacuzzi, crying in my jacuzzi
.
I want to do the gentledistinction between wonder and
(02:08):
awe.
In her book Atlas of the Heart,brene Brown and she's quoting
some other researchers she talksabout the distinction between
awe and wonder and explains itlike this Wonder inspires the
wish to understand, awe inspiresthe wish to let it shine, to
(02:31):
acknowledge, to unite.
I want to invite us to playwith this idea that wonder and
awe, especially in these complex, heartbreaking times.
I don't see where our world isgetting less complex and less
(02:55):
heartbreaking, just moreopportunities for us to be with
complexity and learn how to bewith heartbreak and understand
the power of heartbreak.
Wonder can fuel our passion,can turn us on to explore, to
(03:21):
get curious, to learn more, toconnect more, and in some other
research that Brene Brown bringsin, she highlights that the
research finds that awe can leadpeople to share resources, to
(03:44):
cooperate, to sacrifice forothers, and can cause people to
really fully appreciate thevalue of others, to see others
more accurately, and that evokeshumility.
There's an article in theHarvard Business Review called
(04:07):
why you Need to Protect yourSense of Wonder, especially Now,
and it was written a couple ofyears ago.
But there's this one piece init and this is about wonder and
awe and it focuses a bit more onawe experiences, awe-inducing
experiences, uh, and its effectson stress and resilience.
(04:30):
Right, it's a hard businessreview, but let me read this one
part.
Cultivating experiences of aweis especially important and
helpful now as we renew ourenergy and make plans for a more
hopeful future.
That's because, beyond physicaleffects like tingling and
goosebumps and a lowered heartrate under stress.
(04:51):
Awe also affects us emotionally.
One experimental group, whenasked to draw pictures of
themselves, literally drewthemselves smaller in size after
having an awe experience.
Such an effect has been termedunselfing.
(05:12):
The shift has big benefits.
Your desire to connect with andhelp others increases.
People who experience awe alsoreport higher levels of overall
life satisfaction and well-being.
Experiences of awe areassociated with the lowered
levels of reported stress.
Recent research using fMRI hasalso shown that experiences of
awe, such as watchingawe-inspiring videos, compared
(05:35):
to neutral or pleasant videos,decreases activity in the
brain's default mode network,the DMN, which is associated
with self-focus and rumination.
The result is decreased mentalchatter.
Just a note here too, on the DMN.
(05:55):
The default mode network, orhow the brain thinks about
itself, is there to help us makesense of the world.
It's there to do that to makesense of the world, to connect
us with others, to help usremember things, to do all sorts
of stuff around our creativityand mapping the world around us.
(06:19):
It runs whenever our brainsrelaxes.
I was about to say soften.
That sounded gross.
It's relax, brains relaxes.
I was about to say soften.
That sounded gross.
It relaxes when we're nottrying to figure things out,
solve things and we're notintentionally thinking about
anything, or when we're notdistracted.
(06:40):
And I really love the work ofSarah Payton.
She wrote a book called yourResonant Self and then she's got
an accompanying workbook andall sorts of goodness.
She does some great breakdownsof the default mode network.
What happens when it's stressedand unstressed, even though
(07:03):
that the default mode network isprofoundly shaped by the
unconscious contracts that welive with, that we carry, that
when the DMN is working well, iteasily learns self-warmth, even
if that concept is brand new,right, not something we
(07:23):
necessarily grew up with.
So when we're stressed, our DMN, that problem solver that's
stressed and that automaticbrain voice can become intrusive
and enjoyment of our lives, ofthe world around us, can become
(07:44):
more difficult.
Beautiful work that I mean.
There's lots of different typesof work that can help support
increased self-warmth.
Sarah Payton does it throughvarious practices, through
resonance, which she calls togrow, to begin to grow a
(08:07):
permaculture garden of neuronsthat can hold us safely in our
brains.
I want you to think back to thelast time, or a time that stands
out for you, where you feltawestruck, where you witnessed
(08:34):
something and were feeling, justthe experience of wanting to
stand back and observe and letthis phenomenon something
magnificent even in its subtlety, even in its smallness, even in
its mundanity.
Simple moment with someone youcare about, something in nature,
(08:59):
art, music.
So just simmer in that for amoment, notice how that feels in
(09:35):
your body, to even just call upthat momentary transcendence.
And now do this with wonder.
The last time or a recent timeor any time in your life that
just wants to raise its hand andpoke its head up from your
memory storage area and reallyfelt.
You really felt wonder,delighted, and that passion,
(10:05):
that curiosity you know myfavorite was ignited for you.
You're like how, how is thispossible?
How does this work?
This is so wild.
This feels just absolutelyunreal.
(10:27):
Maybe you went on to learn more, get curious, maybe you forgot
about it and now you'reremembering and that curiosity
has peaked again in some way.
Just let yourself simmer in itfor a moment, feel it in your
(10:51):
body, feel what turns on for you.
Maybe a bunch of differentmemories are coming to the top
for you and you're like, wow, Ihave experienced a lot of wonder
and awe, that's so cool.
(11:13):
yay you.
And know that people listeningall over the world because there
are actually listeners all overthe world, part of the tub club
here, crybabies unite that arealso feeling this and
remembering and remembering andletting these feelings just rise
(11:37):
within them and percolate, rollout through the limbs through
the energetic field.
Look at how cool we are.
I think I'm actually feelingawe right now just thinking
about all of you.
Maybe you are too.
(11:58):
Look at us making a web ofconnection Through awe Is this
what flirting with the worldfeels like.
I think so, alex.
It feels weird and tingly, yeahWhoa.
(12:21):
In Karen Barad's book Meetingthe Universe Halfway, she says
all real living is meeting andeach meeting matters.
(12:41):
She creates a term intra-actionand she uses it to replace
interaction, which is aboutbodies acting upon each other
right, how things interact,participating in actions with
each other, but that instead ofinteraction things acting upon
(13:04):
each other interactionacknowledges agency, understands
agency as something that allthings have.
It's not just a thing forhumans and it's about the
dynamic, how all things areconstantly exchanging and
(13:29):
influencing each other,exchanging and influencing each
other.
All things are connectedbecause all things have agency,
and an interaction in a waymeans that it's impossible for
anything to be separate.
I mean, this is some next level, interdimensional flirtation.
(13:53):
I'm talking about here people.
So this is flirting.
I love that I take likescholarly texts and reduce them
down to these concepts Accordingto human design.
This is a skill of mine.
(14:14):
I mean, whether you think I'mskillful at it or not apparently
doesn't matter to me, becausehere we are, but this is
flirting as relationality andacknowledging that all things
(14:36):
have agency.
Thus we can interact with allthings.
We can flirt, connect withanything around us, right?
So that doesn't that just takesome pressure off of it.
This isn't about needing to goand and cultivate a sense of
(15:00):
wonder and awe to turn you on tothe world, to like, keep those,
uh, those fires of vitality andcreativity, like, keep those
fires stoked by having to go sitat a bar and flirt with someone
and that, whatever the thing islike no, no, the world is your
(15:27):
big old flirt oyster full ofpearls of wonder and awe.
But if all things have agency,agential beings, all things,
(15:53):
things, then there are someboundaries that in this flirting
can be dissolved.
A hierarchy or ananthropocentrism, right like
humans are the top tier of thething, all the things that
matter most and the only thingsworth really interacting with,
(16:16):
that maybe starts to shift.
And when you look at everythingaround you as potential for
interaction, potential forflirtation, for connectivity to
be turned on, to make love tolife.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
You could stimulate that wonder, that awe, which we
know because the HarvestBusiness Review told us lowers
our stress level, decreases ourmental chatter, increases our
desire to connect with and helpothers, can increase our levels
(16:58):
of overall life satisfaction andwell-being.
Okay, I'm just kidding.
Harvest Business Review did saythat, but that is not the only
reason we are bringing up thispoint.
But those, if we just take someof those in some of that
information in you take some ofthat in because my guess is that
I said some of those in some ofthat information in you take
some of that in Because my guessis that I said some of those
things and even though I said itin a funny voice, you're like,
(17:20):
yeah, I've had that experiencebefore.
Mm-hmm, I could see that, yes,there's some resonance.
There is my guess that you cando this, that you can do this,
(17:41):
you can cultivate all that byflirting with a plant and
letting it flirt back with you.
You can flirt with a breeze andlet it flirt back with you.
Maybe a color on a wall I mean,do you ever flirt with colors?
Oh God, I do Textures thislittle family of quails bopping
around in my backyard here.
I can't get too close to them,but I do feel a little bit like
(18:02):
I flirt with them, not when Ijust put out water for them and
I watch them come and do theirlittle like.
I don't want to do it too loudand give Rose, my sound editor,
a headache.
But connection, and not just innature.
Some robots really love toflirt.
(18:25):
That's facts.
So we're talking flirting,sensuality, being sensually
engaged, and again, that doesnot have to be about anything
other than the engagement ofyour senses.
So go get weird, go get turnedon, go interact, go flirt with
(18:53):
the world, even in the tiniest,smallest little ways.
Caress a tree branch, spend afew moments, minutes longer in
the sun than you might normallyappreciate, in a ray coming
through the window and maybe howit's landing on your arm, or
(19:15):
the chatter of people, maybespeaking a different language
next to you in a restaurant, orthe sound of wind coming through
trees, the rhythmic sound of atrain or a subway or whatever
you're in, anything anywhere.
(19:39):
See it as an opportunity toflirt, to cultivate wonder and
awe, to undo the ties ofsupremacy and hierarchy that
keep you of separation right,that keep you separate from the
(20:00):
world around you, that keep youacting upon things as opposed to
acting with things, acting withothers.
(20:22):
I'm an only child, and so I havespent a lot of time with myself
.
I like my brain, I like myimagination, and there's a thing
that I think I had to learn tolike about myself, that's my
(20:43):
lightness Of light, of lightness, of enjoying the ride, of not
taking myself too seriously, andI didn't always appreciate my
lightness because I got itconfused with not smart
enoughness.
Imagine having magic baked inalready inside of yourself and
(21:09):
then forgetting it's magic andthinking that it's a problem,
that somehow it's a thing thatneeds to be fixed, when it's
maybe your very best thing.
I spent a lot of time takingmyself really seriously, and
when I left school I reallywanted to be an activist.
(21:33):
I got that job.
I was surrounded by brillianthumans who had been doing
movement work for decades, and Ireally felt so intimidated and
like I was not smart enough.
All of that from my youngeryears came crashing back into my
(21:54):
life, and one of my bosses atthat time, actually at a retreat
, called me ditzy, like in frontof everyone, and I felt so
conflicted at that time about mylightness because it came so
easily and it felt at my core soresonant, so true to who, I am
(22:18):
Able to bring some levity andfind something wondrous and
beautiful and something to laughat and balance, to bring to the
heaviest, darkest shit which issort of the business of being
an activist sometimes and mylightness never wavered, even
(22:41):
though I wavered.
I wavered in my trust of it, butit never wavered in its
presence and it never wavered inits commitment to me.
And so, after a whole lot ofinner work around that core
(23:02):
pattern of not feeling smartenough, pattern of not feeling
smart enough, I feel so solid inthe gift of my lightness, my
ability to not take myself tooseriously, and also I know I'm
really, really smart.
So now I get to be both.
I mean, I was always both andI'm so grateful that lightness,
(23:29):
this quality of my being, I meanyou got it too.
It's in there, it's got its ownflavor and it's at its own
level and you have your ownrelationship to it.
But all this wonder and awe inthis existence, I know how to
(23:50):
tap into it all the time becauseof that lightness.
And I'm so grateful that it'salways come so easy for me, even
when I struggled with it, evenwhen I knew that it gave me
access to seeing the world inmore miraculous, magical ways.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I guess we could say you're an easy, easy, easy, easy
, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,
easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,
easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,
easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,easy easy, easy, easy, easy,
easy, easy, aw, easy aw.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
You totally get it.
That's so good.
Wait, are you a giant worm thatjust made an?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
orgasm pun.
Well, check out the big brainon, Brad.
Technically I'm a quantum worm.
I love what you were saying,though, about lightness.
I think it's very underratedfor most creatures, except for
hummingbirds Surprisingly,various forms of lichen and
(24:59):
lightness is not lost on them.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Huh, lichen.
I guess I could totally seethat.
Huh, lichen, I guess I couldtotally see that.
I learned from Robin WallKimmerer's book Braiding
Sweetgrass that lichen areactually two different organisms
coming together.
They're a fungus and an algae.
It's a partnership, because theFunky is good at one thing and
(25:28):
needs some help, and the Algaeis good at doing another thing
but also needs some help.
And so then, when they worktogether, like it, I think about
that all the time.
Oh yes.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
And in my experience from all the liking I've met,
they don't take themselves veryseriously.
They're full of likeness, but Ithink part of that is because
they come from very harshconditions.
It's not like the fungus in thehouse, they're just laid
(26:08):
something.
They're really struggling.
And in that struggle comes afabulous bee.
That could be very serious.
That's really a goofball.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Huh, I really appreciate that.
Maybe be like Lycan, not takingourselves so seriously, even if
we come from really harshconditions, right, because it
seems like the point here isthat maybe Lycan uses its agency
(26:46):
to make this choice about howit's going to move through the
world.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Oh, yes, All beings are essential beings.
They all have agency, no matterwhat kind of conditions they're
in.
Sometimes choices are small,but they really matter.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Small choices do matter.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Fractals Love a fractal.
Oh, this was fun.
Tell Jane and Alex I'll say hi.
Anywho got two.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Oh, my god, wait, you know Alex and Janet.
Huh, guess.
That was my first guess.
Quantum Worm.
I didn't even catch their name.
If you can hear me, you'rewelcome back anytime.
That was totally fun Crying inmy jacuzzi.
(27:58):
If you enjoyed what we did heretoday, go over to wherever it
is that you are listening tothis podcast and give us a
rating as many stars.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Five.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
As your heart desires .
Five stars though.
Theme music and other musicalbits by the very talented Kat
Otteson, sound design andediting by the effervescent Rose
Blakelock.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
I look forward to playing withyou more in my jacuzzi.
(28:37):
That sounded dirtier than Imeant it, but you know what I
mean.
Have you ever flirted with the sun or a plant, or
just the air, or a soft sweater,or a smell, or your own shadow?
A spray of an orange peel?
As you peel it, a piece ofmusic, dandelion growing up
(00:25):
through the crack in a sidewalk,the scent of a stranger left as
they walk by you on the street?
A memory, a swamp bug, abo-weevil?
A dream?
Yes.
Making love to life yes.
(00:46):
Vital entanglement.
Let us, in this episode andforever after, because this
episode and all episodes ofCrying in my Jacuzzi are a spell
, a spell, let us call inconnect with two vital
(01:16):
currencies of living.
Let's give a great, warmwelcome to my friend Wonder and
my friend Ah Wonder and AhWonder and Ah I.
They're big old flirts too.
I tell you what crying in myjacuzzi, crying in my jacuzzi,
(01:45):
crying in my jacuzzi, crying inmy jacuzzi, crying in my jacuzzi
.
I want to do the gentledistinction between wonder and
(02:08):
awe.
In her book Atlas of the Heart,brene Brown and she's quoting
some other researchers she talksabout the distinction between
awe and wonder and explains itlike this Wonder inspires the
wish to understand, awe inspiresthe wish to let it shine, to
(02:31):
acknowledge, to unite.
I want to invite us to playwith this idea that wonder and
awe, especially in these complex, heartbreaking times.
I don't see where our world isgetting less complex and less
(02:55):
heartbreaking, just moreopportunities for us to be with
complexity and learn how to bewith heartbreak and understand
the power of heartbreak.
Wonder can fuel our passion,can turn us on to explore, to
(03:21):
get curious, to learn more, toconnect more, and in some other
research that Brene Brown bringsin, she highlights that the
research finds that awe can leadpeople to share resources, to
(03:44):
cooperate, to sacrifice forothers, and can cause people to
really fully appreciate thevalue of others, to see others
more accurately, and that evokeshumility.
There's an article in theHarvard Business Review called
(04:07):
why you Need to Protect yourSense of Wonder, especially Now,
and it was written a couple ofyears ago.
But there's this one piece init and this is about wonder and
awe and it focuses a bit more onawe experiences, awe-inducing
experiences, uh, and its effectson stress and resilience.
(04:30):
Right, it's a hard businessreview, but let me read this one
part.
Cultivating experiences of aweis especially important and
helpful now as we renew ourenergy and make plans for a more
hopeful future.
That's because, beyond physicaleffects like tingling and
goosebumps and a lowered heartrate under stress.
(04:51):
Awe also affects us emotionally.
One experimental group, whenasked to draw pictures of
themselves, literally drewthemselves smaller in size after
having an awe experience.
Such an effect has been termedunselfing.
(05:12):
The shift has big benefits.
Your desire to connect with andhelp others increases.
People who experience awe alsoreport higher levels of overall
life satisfaction and well-being.
Experiences of awe areassociated with the lowered
levels of reported stress.
Recent research using fMRI hasalso shown that experiences of
awe, such as watchingawe-inspiring videos, compared
(05:35):
to neutral or pleasant videos,decreases activity in the
brain's default mode network,the DMN, which is associated
with self-focus and rumination.
The result is decreased mentalchatter.
Just a note here too, on the DMN.
(05:55):
The default mode network, orhow the brain thinks about
itself, is there to help us makesense of the world.
It's there to do that to makesense of the world, to connect
us with others, to help usremember things, to do all sorts
of stuff around our creativityand mapping the world around us.
(06:19):
It runs whenever our brainsrelaxes.
I was about to say soften.
That sounded gross.
It's relax, brains relaxes.
I was about to say soften.
That sounded gross.
It relaxes when we're nottrying to figure things out,
solve things and we're notintentionally thinking about
anything, or when we're notdistracted.
(06:40):
And I really love the work ofSarah Payton.
She wrote a book called yourResonant Self and then she's got
an accompanying workbook andall sorts of goodness.
She does some great breakdownsof the default mode network.
What happens when it's stressedand unstressed, even though
(07:03):
that the default mode network isprofoundly shaped by the
unconscious contracts that welive with, that we carry, that
when the DMN is working well, iteasily learns self-warmth, even
if that concept is brand new,right, not something we
(07:23):
necessarily grew up with.
So when we're stressed, our DMN, that problem solver that's
stressed and that automaticbrain voice can become intrusive
and enjoyment of our lives, ofthe world around us, can become
(07:44):
more difficult.
Beautiful work that I mean.
There's lots of different typesof work that can help support
increased self-warmth.
Sarah Payton does it throughvarious practices, through
resonance, which she calls togrow, to begin to grow a
(08:07):
permaculture garden of neuronsthat can hold us safely in our
brains.
I want you to think back to thelast time, or a time that stands
out for you, where you feltawestruck, where you witnessed
(08:34):
something and were feeling, justthe experience of wanting to
stand back and observe and letthis phenomenon something
magnificent even in its subtlety, even in its smallness, even in
its mundanity.
Simple moment with someone youcare about, something in nature,
(08:59):
art, music.
So just simmer in that for amoment, notice how that feels in
(09:35):
your body, to even just call upthat momentary transcendence.
And now do this with wonder.
The last time or a recent timeor any time in your life that
just wants to raise its hand andpoke its head up from your
memory storage area and reallyfelt.
You really felt wonder,delighted, and that passion,
(10:05):
that curiosity you know myfavorite was ignited for you.
You're like how, how is thispossible?
How does this work?
This is so wild.
This feels just absolutelyunreal.
(10:27):
Maybe you went on to learn more, get curious, maybe you forgot
about it and now you'reremembering and that curiosity
has peaked again in some way.
Just let yourself simmer in itfor a moment, feel it in your
(10:51):
body, feel what turns on for you.
Maybe a bunch of differentmemories are coming to the top
for you and you're like, wow, Ihave experienced a lot of wonder
and awe, that's so cool.
(11:13):
yay you.
And know that people listeningall over the world because there
are actually listeners all overthe world, part of the tub club
here, crybabies unite that arealso feeling this and
remembering and remembering andletting these feelings just rise
(11:37):
within them and percolate, rollout through the limbs through
the energetic field.
Look at how cool we are.
I think I'm actually feelingawe right now just thinking
about all of you.
Maybe you are too.
(11:58):
Look at us making a web ofconnection Through awe Is this
what flirting with the worldfeels like.
I think so, alex.
It feels weird and tingly, yeahWhoa.
(12:21):
In Karen Barad's book Meetingthe Universe Halfway, she says
all real living is meeting andeach meeting matters.
(12:41):
She creates a term intra-actionand she uses it to replace
interaction, which is aboutbodies acting upon each other
right, how things interact,participating in actions with
each other, but that instead ofinteraction things acting upon
(13:04):
each other interactionacknowledges agency, understands
agency as something that allthings have.
It's not just a thing forhumans and it's about the
dynamic, how all things areconstantly exchanging and
(13:29):
influencing each other,exchanging and influencing each
other.
All things are connectedbecause all things have agency,
and an interaction in a waymeans that it's impossible for
anything to be separate.
I mean, this is some next level, interdimensional flirtation.
(13:53):
I'm talking about here people.
So this is flirting.
I love that I take likescholarly texts and reduce them
down to these concepts Accordingto human design.
This is a skill of mine.
(14:14):
I mean, whether you think I'mskillful at it or not apparently
doesn't matter to me, becausehere we are, but this is
flirting as relationality andacknowledging that all things
(14:36):
have agency.
Thus we can interact with allthings.
We can flirt, connect withanything around us, right?
So that doesn't that just takesome pressure off of it.
This isn't about needing to goand and cultivate a sense of
(15:00):
wonder and awe to turn you on tothe world, to like, keep those,
uh, those fires of vitality andcreativity, like, keep those
fires stoked by having to go sitat a bar and flirt with someone
and that, whatever the thing islike no, no, the world is your
(15:27):
big old flirt oyster full ofpearls of wonder and awe.
But if all things have agency,agential beings, all things,
(15:53):
things, then there are someboundaries that in this flirting
can be dissolved.
A hierarchy or ananthropocentrism, right like
humans are the top tier of thething, all the things that
matter most and the only thingsworth really interacting with,
(16:16):
that maybe starts to shift.
And when you look at everythingaround you as potential for
interaction, potential forflirtation, for connectivity to
be turned on, to make love tolife.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
You could stimulate that wonder, that awe, which we
know because the HarvestBusiness Review told us lowers
our stress level, decreases ourmental chatter, increases our
desire to connect with and helpothers, can increase our levels
(16:58):
of overall life satisfaction andwell-being.
Okay, I'm just kidding.
Harvest Business Review did saythat, but that is not the only
reason we are bringing up thispoint.
But those, if we just take someof those in some of that
information in you take some ofthat in because my guess is that
I said some of those in some ofthat information in you take
some of that in Because my guessis that I said some of those
things and even though I said itin a funny voice, you're like,
(17:20):
yeah, I've had that experiencebefore.
Mm-hmm, I could see that, yes,there's some resonance.
There is my guess that you cando this, that you can do this,
(17:41):
you can cultivate all that byflirting with a plant and
letting it flirt back with you.
You can flirt with a breeze andlet it flirt back with you.
Maybe a color on a wall I mean,do you ever flirt with colors?
Oh God, I do Textures thislittle family of quails bopping
around in my backyard here.
I can't get too close to them,but I do feel a little bit like
(18:02):
I flirt with them, not when Ijust put out water for them and
I watch them come and do theirlittle like.
I don't want to do it too loudand give Rose, my sound editor,
a headache.
But connection, and not just innature.
Some robots really love toflirt.
(18:25):
That's facts.
So we're talking flirting,sensuality, being sensually
engaged, and again, that doesnot have to be about anything
other than the engagement ofyour senses.
So go get weird, go get turnedon, go interact, go flirt with
(18:53):
the world, even in the tiniest,smallest little ways.
Caress a tree branch, spend afew moments, minutes longer in
the sun than you might normallyappreciate, in a ray coming
through the window and maybe howit's landing on your arm, or
(19:15):
the chatter of people, maybespeaking a different language
next to you in a restaurant, orthe sound of wind coming through
trees, the rhythmic sound of atrain or a subway or whatever
you're in, anything anywhere.
(19:39):
See it as an opportunity toflirt, to cultivate wonder and
awe, to undo the ties ofsupremacy and hierarchy that
keep you of separation right,that keep you separate from the
(20:00):
world around you, that keep youacting upon things as opposed to
acting with things, acting withothers.
(20:22):
I'm an only child, and so I havespent a lot of time with myself
.
I like my brain, I like myimagination, and there's a thing
that I think I had to learn tolike about myself, that's my
(20:43):
lightness Of light, of lightness, of enjoying the ride, of not
taking myself too seriously, andI didn't always appreciate my
lightness because I got itconfused with not smart
enoughness.
Imagine having magic baked inalready inside of yourself and
(21:09):
then forgetting it's magic andthinking that it's a problem,
that somehow it's a thing thatneeds to be fixed, when it's
maybe your very best thing.
I spent a lot of time takingmyself really seriously, and
when I left school I reallywanted to be an activist.
(21:33):
I got that job.
I was surrounded by brillianthumans who had been doing
movement work for decades, and Ireally felt so intimidated and
like I was not smart enough.
All of that from my youngeryears came crashing back into my
(21:54):
life, and one of my bosses atthat time, actually at a retreat
, called me ditzy, like in frontof everyone, and I felt so
conflicted at that time about mylightness because it came so
easily and it felt at my core soresonant, so true to who, I am
(22:18):
Able to bring some levity andfind something wondrous and
beautiful and something to laughat and balance, to bring to the
heaviest, darkest shit which issort of the business of being
an activist sometimes and mylightness never wavered, even
(22:41):
though I wavered.
I wavered in my trust of it, butit never wavered in its
presence and it never wavered inits commitment to me.
And so, after a whole lot ofinner work around that core
(23:02):
pattern of not feeling smartenough, pattern of not feeling
smart enough, I feel so solid inthe gift of my lightness, my
ability to not take myself tooseriously, and also I know I'm
really, really smart.
So now I get to be both.
I mean, I was always both andI'm so grateful that lightness,
(23:29):
this quality of my being, I meanyou got it too.
It's in there, it's got its ownflavor and it's at its own
level and you have your ownrelationship to it.
But all this wonder and awe inthis existence, I know how to
(23:50):
tap into it all the time becauseof that lightness.
And I'm so grateful that it'salways come so easy for me, even
when I struggled with it, evenwhen I knew that it gave me
access to seeing the world inmore miraculous, magical ways.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I guess we could say you're an easy, easy, easy, easy
, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,
easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,
easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,
easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,easy easy, easy, easy, easy,
easy, easy, aw, easy aw.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
You totally get it.
That's so good.
Wait, are you a giant worm thatjust made an?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
orgasm pun.
Well, check out the big brainon, Brad.
Technically I'm a quantum worm.
I love what you were saying,though, about lightness.
I think it's very underratedfor most creatures, except for
hummingbirds Surprisingly,various forms of lichen and
(24:59):
lightness is not lost on them.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Huh, lichen.
I guess I could totally seethat.
Huh, lichen, I guess I couldtotally see that.
I learned from Robin WallKimmerer's book Braiding
Sweetgrass that lichen areactually two different organisms
coming together.
They're a fungus and an algae.
It's a partnership, because theFunky is good at one thing and
(25:28):
needs some help, and the Algaeis good at doing another thing
but also needs some help.
And so then, when they worktogether, like it, I think about
that all the time.
Oh yes.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
And in my experience from all the liking I've met,
they don't take themselves veryseriously.
They're full of likeness, but Ithink part of that is because
they come from very harshconditions.
It's not like the fungus in thehouse, they're just laid
(26:08):
something.
They're really struggling.
And in that struggle comes afabulous bee.
That could be very serious.
That's really a goofball.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Huh, I really appreciate that.
Maybe be like Lycan, not takingourselves so seriously, even if
we come from really harshconditions, right, because it
seems like the point here isthat maybe Lycan uses its agency
(26:46):
to make this choice about howit's going to move through the
world.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Oh, yes, All beings are essential beings.
They all have agency, no matterwhat kind of conditions they're
in.
Sometimes choices are small,but they really matter.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Small choices do matter.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Fractals Love a fractal.
Oh, this was fun.
Tell Jane and Alex I'll say hi.
Anywho got two.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Oh, my god, wait, you know Alex and Janet.
Huh, guess.
That was my first guess.
Quantum Worm.
I didn't even catch their name.
If you can hear me, you'rewelcome back anytime.
That was totally fun Crying inmy jacuzzi.
(27:58):
If you enjoyed what we did heretoday, go over to wherever it
is that you are listening tothis podcast and give us a
rating as many stars.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Five.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
As your heart desires .
Five stars though.
Theme music and other musicalbits by the very talented Kat
Otteson, sound design andediting by the effervescent Rose
Blakelock.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
I look forward to playing withyou more in my jacuzzi.
(28:37):
That sounded dirtier than Imeant it, but you know what I
mean.
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