Season 7 Episode #11 Everybody Wants the Flavor But Not The Responsibility

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Ever changed your voice on a Zoom call? Avoided cultural references at work? Second-guessed your tone in every email? That mental gymnastics—known as code switching—is the focus of our thought-provoking conversation about authenticity, cultural appropriation, and the exhaustion of making yourself palatable in spaces that weren't built for you.

Drawing from powerful personal experiences, we explore the painful irony of being told our natural hair is "unprofessional" while watching others be praised for adopting the same styles. Remember those high school moments when white classmates used your skin as a "tanning barometer," wanting your melanin but not your lived experience? We unpack how these seemingly small interactions reveal a larger pattern where everyone wants the flavor but not the responsibility.

This episode goes beyond identifying problems to offer solutions for both individuals navigating code switching fatigue and those committed to creating more inclusive environments. You'll discover why constant assimilation creates versions of ourselves that are palatable but not whole, and how cultural appropriation manifests in everything from Halloween costumes to workplace policies. Whether you're a BIPOC professional seeking validation for your experiences or an ally wanting to understand the emotional tax of code switching, this conversation offers both validation and actionable insights.

Ready to embrace authenticity and help others do the same? Check out our Code Switching 101 mini course mentioned in the episode, which includes two private coaching sessions to help you recognize these patterns and create spaces where everyone can bring their full, magnificent selves. Your culture isn't a costume—and your voice is a powerful tool for change. Subscribe, share with someone who needs to hear this message, and join us in transforming how we show up in professional and educational spaces.

If you’re ready to stop code-switching and start showing up fully — this course is for you.

💻 Head to  https://jebehedmunds.com/plans/available-mini-courses/   

to enroll today.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome back to the Cultural Curriculum Chat Podcast
.
I'm your host, jebe Edmonds,and today's episode is called
Everybody Wants the Flavor butNot the Responsibility.
We're diving into the realityof code switching, the fatigue
of being culturally palatableand the ways cultural

(00:24):
appropriation keeps showing upin places it shouldn't.
So let's get into it.
Okay, let's be real.
If you are a BIPOC,professional educator or student
, you've probably been codeswitching for a long time.
It's that mental shift that wemake in the way we speak, dress

(00:49):
and show up, just to be acceptedor taken seriously in spaces
that weren't built for us andthat's just bonkers.
We're often praised for howwell we fit in, while others
freely borrow from our culturesthe slaying you go girl, the

(01:12):
style, seeing somebody incornrows, the soul without the
responsibility, the history orthe consequences that we face.
And that's what today'sconversation is about.
Everybody wants the flavor butnot the responsibility.
Code switching isn't just acommunication choice.

(01:35):
For many it's survival.
It's showing up like this Doyou find yourself changing your
voice on a Zoom call?
Sometimes you avoid culturalreferences at work or you
second-guess your tone in everysingle email.
It's exhausting and it'sexpected in many workplaces,
even unspokenly required.

(01:57):
Have you had those little quipsand microaggressions like don't
be on CP time, or why do youalways change your hair?
Why can't you have hair?
That's within our employeehandbook?
Or if you're a student, seeingpictures of appropriate haircuts

(02:19):
and dress codes Sound familiar.
But here's the truth Constantcode switching chips away at
your authenticity.
It creates a version ofyourself that's palatable but
not whole Assimilation insteadof being authentic.
It's why so many of us leavework at the end of the day

(02:41):
feeling drained and emotionallytaxed, not just tired.
I want you to also think aboutwhen we're talking about
cultural appropriation.
I remember an instance in highschool when it was talking about
wanting that flavor but not theresponsibility.
This time of year in the UnitedStates, in springtime I'm

(03:06):
recording this episode in Mayit's prom season and when I was
growing up, especially in thelate 90s in high school, a lot
of white classmates, especiallythe girls, would come up to me
and put their arm or arm againstmine and using my arm as their

(03:27):
barometer for their tanningsessions Upward not as dark as
Jeb yet, but then again theywanted the flavor to be more
melanated in their skin tone.
But to think that, howincredibly racist and
dehumanizing that made theirBlack friend myself feel they

(03:48):
didn't care about.
They didn't see theresponsibility of what it's like
to walk in my shoes and feelinghurt of not seeing me as fully
human but as a litmus test ofhow dark you should go to look
in your prom dress.
So when we're talking aboutcultural appropriation, I want

(04:13):
you to think about, while we'renavigating this mental
gymnastics of trying to fit inand what we often don't see.
Those students that I waswalking those halls with in high
school didn't see me as who Iwas.
They didn't see the pain andthe hurt of what it was like

(04:34):
navigating being a Black girl ina predominantly white populated
high school.
So prom was a really big pointfor me growing up.
In thinking about anotherexample Halloween and other
holidays where people cherrypick the aesthetics of
marginalized cultures, theflavor, without the context of

(04:58):
accountability, or it's why yournatural hair might seem
unprofessional it's ourvernacular in the
African-American cultural groupbut monetized on TikTok.
When someone else is using it,we're constantly told to tone it
down, while others are praisedfor turning it up.

(05:20):
It's also shown in us as oh,those nails are too long, you're
ghetto, or your wig isunnatural looking colors, but
then again, if a celebrity isrocking those styles, they're
pushing the norm, or they'realso hip and trendy and staying

(05:45):
up with the latest trends, andthat disconnect, it hurts, it
silences, it exhausts.
I want you to think about times, maybe in your younger years,
where you were at that gangstaparty or you put on blackface

(06:06):
makeup.
Oh, that was a different timethen, I didn't know, but that
was very harsh and stereotypicalto groups of people where you
want to hear that argument.
Oh, we're just celebrating aculture, no, you're
caricaturizing it.
So what do we do with this Jeb?
First, we name it.

(06:28):
We have to start having thosecourageous conversations about
why people still code switch,about appropriation versus
appreciation and about what realequity looks like.
And second, we need to educateourselves and others.

(06:49):
That's exactly why I created mymini course Code Switching 101.
This mini course is for you Ifyou are looking for a
transformative mini course thatwill go deeper in your
understanding of what codeswitching is, why it happens and
how it impacts personal andprofessional relationships.

(07:11):
So, whether you're an educator,dei professional or someone
looking to enhance theircultural competency skills, this
course offers practical toolsto help you recognize, reflect
and respond thoughtfully indiverse environments.
We are going to talk about thepsychology of code switching.

(07:33):
We're going to give youreal-world applications.
You're going to explorescenarios where code switching
shows up in classrooms andworkplaces and in daily life.
And you know, your girl, you'vebeen listening to me for a
minute.
I will give you empowerment,strategies to learn how to
create those inclusive spaceswhere authenticity is celebrated

(07:55):
and not suppressed.
And again, you know I love agood bonus y'all.
It includes two privateone-hour coaching sessions with
me, your girl and you'll getpersonalized guidance to help
you dive deeper into your uniqueexperiences, ask those
questions you're afraid to askand develop actionable

(08:18):
strategies tailored to your workenvironment.
So this mini course is perfectfor educators committing to
creating inclusive classrooms,de&i professionals and leaders
seeking to strengthen theiradvocacy.
So anyone who is dedicated tofostering equity, empathy and
understanding in these diversespaces, that mini course Code

(08:42):
Switching 101, is for you.
So check it out in the shownotes below and get this
on-demand course ready to goright there for you, and I can't
wait to coach you through theprocess we talked about in this
mini session of our episodetoday, about learning what it

(09:04):
takes to code switch changingyour voice, changing your
vernacular, changing the way youdress, changing your hair just
in order to fit into spaces thatwere not meant for you in the
first place.
There's so many people out therethat are unapologetically
authentic.
They are using their vernacularwith style and grace and

(09:31):
showing people that there aremany dialects in our English
language, especially in theUnited States, and also honing
into the culture of being ananti-code switcher, and that, to
me, is very fascinating in that, standing up for who they truly

(09:52):
are, up for who they truly are.
I wish I had in high school theconfidence to push those arms
away.
I wish I had the friends thatdidn't look like me, that were
also white student friends thatsaid, oh enough, leave Jebba

(10:19):
alone.
That's not okay.
You cannot compare your ratesto hers to say, oh, that's
beautiful only in the springtime, but then again, you don't want
to respect me as a full humanbeing all year long.
I tell you, even till this day,in 2025, I still get emotional
about that experience and thathurt that I did experience in
high school.
I know I'm not the only onethat's been through it.

(10:40):
I know there's many young Blackwomen and other people of color
that also had that similarexperience.
Some of our young people arestill experiencing that today,
but I am hopeful that peoplelike you that are listening to
this podcast are those actiontakers, are those ones that are

(11:03):
willing to stand up, even iftheir voice shakes, to have
those courageous conversations,to speak up and say something.
If you are ready to stop codeswitching, I want you to
definitely start showing upfully and take the course.
I also want to thank you fortuning in today to the Cultural

(11:24):
Curriculum Chat Podcast.
I'm Jebbit and remember yourculture isn't a costume.
Your voice is a tool for change.
And make sure to subscribe,share this episode and, of
course, check out my course CodeSwitching 101.
Until next time, keep leadingwith authenticity and courage.

(11:47):
Bye-bye.