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February 15, 2024 • 18 mins

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Curating the Curious, the podcast that
celebrates staying curious inlife and never settling into a
box.
This show is for the creators,the seekers, the explorers, the
truth-tellers and the foreverstudents of life, no matter what
age or stage you're currentlyat.

(00:22):
This is not as good as it gets,and it is never too late to
begin.
Join me as we explore all ofthe questions that come with the
idea of curiosity, a placewhere the possibilities are
endless and you can always startagain.
All big things come from smallbeginnings.

(00:45):
The seed of every habit is asingle, tiny decision, but as
that decision is repeated, ahabit sprouts and grows stronger
.
Roots entrench themselves andbranches grow.
The task of breaking a badhabit is like uprooting a
powerful oak within us, and thetask of building a good habit is

(01:07):
like cultivating a delicateflower one day at a time.
That's by James Clear.
I keep this on my desk as areminder that as I try to change
my habits, it's implanted in meand I am uprooting this
powerful oak inside of me.
It's going to take time andthen, after that, comes the task

(01:31):
of building the good habits andcultivating that delicate
flower one day at a time.
So there are so many steps.
This takes time.
It's literally two stepsforward, one step back.
That's the way it goes.
I had to read this because it'sone of my favorite things from

(01:52):
James Clear and I've beentalking about and thinking about
and writing about habits formonths now, so definitely keep
that one in your back pocket.
So my brain is now full of toomany ideas and thoughts and
notes and highlights and coloredindex cards, so it's time for

(02:14):
another episode of Cliffs Notesfrom A Curious Mind.
This is where I get to unleashseven of those ideas in order to
make more space for some newstuff.
Number one I'm going back tothe previous episode when I was
talking about habits andreferring to atomic habits, the

(02:35):
book and all of the things thatJames Clear was saying about
identity, and I feel like I kindof didn't fully explain the
whole identity thing in the waythat I had meant to.
So here's a way betterexplanation from the book.
Imagine there are two peopleresisting a cigarette and when

(02:55):
offered a smoke, the firstperson says no, thanks, I'm
trying to quit.
It sounds like, you know,normal response, but this person
still believes their smoker andthey're trying to be something
else.
They're hoping their behaviorwill change while carrying
around the same beliefs.
The second person declines bysaying no thanks, I'm not a

(03:17):
smoker.
See that difference.
No thanks, I'm trying to quit.
And no thanks, I am not asmoker.
It's a small difference, butthis statement signals a shift
in identity.
Smoking was part of theirformer life, not their current
one.
They no longer identify assomeone who smokes.
Most people don't even consideridentity change when they set

(03:40):
out to improve.
They just think of some outcomethat they want.
So that, right, there is theimportant difference between the
regular, outcome based habitswhich most people are trying to
do, you know, like, oh, I wantto go to the gym every day, and
then they just start trying todo it, or what James clear talks

(04:00):
about in this book, which isidentity based habits.
You've got to change from theinside out.
So I highly recommend this bookto anybody that has really been
trying to work on changesduring these first months of
this year and you noticeyourself just going back into
the same old stuff.

(04:21):
It's happening to me.
Look at, I skipped two weeks ofdoing this podcast because it's
not yet ingrained in me thatthis is a regular thing, no
matter how much I'm enjoying itbeing back.
No matter how excited I was andpumped I was in January to come
on back, I still am slippingback into that old thing because

(04:45):
it's not built into me yetagain.
It's been so long.
And number two is the coolestcreative tool I have seen in so
long and it's called millinot.
Am I L A note?
I actually picked this up fromJan Palmer.
I started this year off in away that I never do and I

(05:08):
decided to take a workshop andit was Jan's teeth kiss.
I'm just a silent student butI've picked up so many cool
things and this tool, millinot,is the coolest thing.
So it's kind of like Pinterestbut way better and has so many
more options.

(05:28):
It's kind of like Evernote plusPinterest for creative.
So it's like this whole visualway to lay out any plans that
you have.
Basically, anybody could use itAnybody visual that loves
seeing things laid out, so youcan upload notes and to do lists
and you can have it in a littlesection all visually up on the

(05:51):
page.
You can upload images and files, you can put links from the web
, save text, you can add thingsfrom your phone and then it's
all in this interface that lookskind of like a Pinterest board,
but it's got all the differentfeatures.
Then, even from there, you cando things like like draw on it

(06:15):
and draw some plans andeverything is drag and drop so
you can move it around.
It's the coolest.
You have to check this out.
Milano.
Number three we're back to oneof my favorite topics ever, but
hopefully explained in aninteresting way neuroscience,
and this is about theeffort-driven reward circuits in

(06:39):
our brains.
This was something very cool tolearn, so we all remember the
time during the pandemic wheneverybody started making bread
and people started gardening andit was just this whole thing
that took off.
There is an actual neuroscienceexplanation for all of this and

(07:00):
it has to do with this systemin the brain that connects
movement with emotion andthinking, and basically, working
with your hands is the key.
So what drives thateffort-driven reward circuit,
that part of your brain that Iwas referring to, are physical
activities that involve ourhands, particularly activities

(07:22):
that produce a tangible productthat we can see, touch, enjoy.
Something like knitting,tending a garden, like I said
before, making bread, making art, drawing, painting, collage,
weaving, sculpting, things likethat.
Those tangible results givepleasure to us and they have

(07:46):
meaning for the creators.
It lifts people out ofdepression.
We all knew that when peoplewere doing this it was helping
them.
I remember just hearing allabout it and I saw it happen to
me when I was raising mybutterflies.
Each year since I've noticedthis thing that takes over me

(08:06):
whenever it's my monarch seasonhere.
But I didn't know there was anactual part of the brain that
was activated by using yourhands.
I didn't know that that was thekey.
And it's so interesting to hearabout this whole effort-driven
reward circuit because basicallythey're saying you know, if
anybody is depressed, theeasiest way for your body to

(08:29):
kind of break out of that is toget into something where you can
use your hands.
They could even be scrubbingthe bathtub, folding laundry.
I know that doesn't sound fun,but it really does.
Do you remember when the MarieKwan-Do is that her name came
out with a cleaning thing andeverybody was just raving about

(08:50):
it?
I think it's because it wasactivating the effort-driven
reward circuits in people'sbrains and it was lifting them
out of the sadness or depressionthat they may have been living
with and it became this wholemovement, not knowing that
that's really what it was.
It was the movement of yourhands.

(09:11):
It doesn't take much and that'sreally good to know.
Easy hands make happy brains.
And number four is somethingthat I received from Austin
Cleon.
I follow his newsletter and hedoes like a 10 favorites for
Friday thing, and he sent a linkto the cutest little thing

(09:33):
where, if you're trying to getbetter at something instead of
making it the serious thing, youcan just print out one of these
pages and it's called practicefor 30 days to suck less and
basically it just says practiceup at the top.
Then it has 30 boxes that youcan check off as you practice

(09:55):
each day.
They count up to 30.
And then at the bottom it sayssuck less, practice every day.
Put an X in the box.
After 30 days you will suckless.
I think I'm going to give mydaughter one of these, because
she tends to take things alittle too seriously.
So if our only goal is just tosuck less, I think you know what

(10:21):
it'll get you to check offthose 30 days of practice and it
will also take that pressureoff of having to create some
masterpiece or be the master ofsomething after practicing.
I'm going to try and put a linkfor this printout too in my
show notes.
Number five is an awesome littlereminder.

(10:42):
Everyone who enters your lifeis either A a mirror, b a
teacher or C an expander.
Think about the differentpeople who have come in and
sometimes out of your life, andI guarantee you they were one of
those in a great way or not sowonderful way.
All of the expanders are great,though, and it's basically you

(11:06):
know.
If you walk away from arelationship without learning
the lesson, you recreate thatsame lesson in a different
person.
I've done that many, many timesin my life.
I think I'm starting to get thehang of it now, but I've spent
a lot of time recreating lessonsover and over and over again.

(11:30):
Number six takes us back to JohnBatiste's wife Suleika, who I
have just become enamored with.
After A seeing AmericanSymphony, which I already told
you about, and if you have notseen that documentary you really
need to make some time for itbut B I listened to her on Rich

(11:54):
Roll I think it was last weekand I was blown away by how
unbelievable this woman is.
You can see it in thedocumentary, but obviously she's
sick during the documentary, sowe're not really and it's
actually not about her thedocumentary, so you don't get

(12:17):
into her whole story.
Her story blew me away and thenI found out.
You know she's a bestsellingauthor.
I did not know this.
This is well before all of thisand her whole story.
I think we just need to havelike Suleika Day, because the
things that she has done, oh mygosh.
So look for Suleika's interviewon Rich Roll please.

(12:42):
That is such a good podcastepisode and she said the most
amazing quote on that episodeand I think it's in her book too
.
But she said you know, we alltalk about waking up to live as
if every, as if it's your lastday and you know, live the most
out of life.

(13:02):
And she said I try to wake upand live every day as if it's my
first.
And that hit me so hard becauseit just reminds you of
beginner's mind.
Every day, every day is sobeautiful and you're seeing it
through these new childlike eyesLike you've just landed in some

(13:26):
country by yourself that you'venever.
You've never been, or justbeginner's mindset.
And what a great twist on aquote that we've heard our whole
lives.
She's so inspiring.
Her book between two kingdoms Ijust bought it.
Have not read it yet, but I canalready tell you by what I

(13:49):
heard them talking about.
It's going to be amazing andit's done really well too.
So, so that number six was kindof a combo of a podcast listen,
a book to read and a quote.
And number seven has just givenme a definition for what the

(14:11):
hell.
I went through for a few yearsand no explanation for it.
You know we've heard aboutwintering, thanks to Catherine
May, and everybody's got thatconcept.
I was like, well, you know what?
This is a whole lot more thanwintering happening right here.

(14:32):
What is going on with me?
And I fell across the idea, theconcept of following.
Have you heard of fallow yearsin the farming community?
Basically, when it comes tofollowing, you can have a fallow
season, you can have a fallowyear, and some farms do a fallow

(14:56):
five years, and that's leavingthe land without any sewing,
with one goal in mind, which isto replenish the nutrients.
So, just like humans need timeto rest and recharge, following
is done for many of the samereasons, and when a field lies
fallow, it doesn't look likeanything's happening.

(15:19):
All the other fields are outthere producing their crops and
we watch them change, but thefallow field is just a pile of
dirt and it just keeps lookinglike a pile of dirt for one to
five years.
But within that pile of dirt,all of this activity is
happening Worms burrow tunnelsthat nourish and aerate the soil

(15:43):
, organic matter decomposes intolife, giving nutrients, like
sometimes they put theirlivestock over there so that can
all soak in Rainfall gathersinto the underground water, and
the health of next year'sharvest depends on this
invisible dance happeningbeneath the surface.

(16:04):
It's pretty cool.
So that's what I'm declaring.
The last few years of myartistic endeavors have been a
fallow season.
I have a name for it and I lovehaving a name for something,
but in all actuality, I did alot of photography in 2023.

(16:27):
I just didn't share it and Ikept taking notes and photos and
writing and doing all thisstuff.
I just did zero sharing.
So 2023 was not a fallow yearfor me.
I would say for sure.
2022 was fallow.

(16:49):
That was a lot.
2021 probably was, or maybepart of it, but I had some
fallow fallow times.
So I love sharing that, becausesometimes we feel like, oh my
gosh, what am I doing?
I'm not creating anything, butguess what Things are happening,

(17:11):
even if no seeds are planted,because you always hear that
saying like, oh well, the seedshaven't burst through.
In fallowing.
There are no seeds, there isnothing.
It is all about repairing whatis going on with that soil and
that dirt Just not making it doany work whatsoever and

(17:34):
regenerating life so that whenyou do plant those seeds, the
best results can come after youdo plant those seeds there,
because you gave that time torest and not just for a winter
Longer.
If you like this episode,please share it.

(17:54):
Also, please give me a fivestar rating and awesome review.
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